Work Text:
Even though he had seen the call up list, even though he had time to think it through, Arjen still feels a little unprepared when he encounters Jan in the lobby of the team hotel in Rotterdam.
It’s rather idiotic, considering Jan’s season had been great, and he’s been a rather sizable part of the reason his club has been promoted to the Premiership. Jan hasn’t had a call up in the last few years, not since they failed to qualify for Russia in 2018, but longer gaps between call ups have happened.
The international break is also nothing big, really; they’re just playing Wales and Spain in a pair of friendlies. Trying out different players is normal when the World Cup is looming. It’s fine that he’s here. It’s fine that the KNVB thought it was time for him to be reintegrated.
(A voice in his head that sounds a lot like Marten reminds him that he was the one that ended it with Jan, he’s the one who had broken his heart, and shouldn’t feel so awkward or put out to see him now, smiling and getting along with everyone as usual.)
If Jan is bothered, Arjen can't tell. He treats him with indifference; he smiles, hugs him, asks how he is and moves on to the next person he hasn’t seen in a few years, like he would with any teammate.
He tries not to think about the fact that he’s ignoring him and gets on with it. Gets their room assignments, goes to practice, goes to team meetings and dinner. It's fine; boring, even.
A few days later, when they have their match against Wales, Jan seems nervous, though. He bounces his leg the entire time the gaffer is going over tactics, despite Jan being on the bench and only available as a substitute this match. Even when they’re finally allowed in the tunnel Jan is pacing in front of the Away dressing room door, jittery. Marwin goes to talk to him - team captain duties and all that - and Jan waves him off, smiling.
It’s only after a short, slim brunette pops out, beaming, that Jan stops his nervous movements to grab at him.
Jan’s arms easily slid around the shorter man’s shoulders, as the other’s just as easily went around his waist. The Welsh player presses his cheek Jan’s chest and Jan’s chin rests on the top of his head. They’re both smiling, thrilled and clearly excited just to hang onto one another.
“Who’s that?” He asks Marten, who just shrugs.
“One of his teammates at Richmond, isn’t it? Hughes, I think?”
“Colin,” Anders says, rolling his eyes, “He never shuts up about him. He never shuts up about anything having to do with that team though, so I guess it’s not a surprise.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re all friends. And they all hang out together, all the time. The managers, the PR team, the sport director… Even their owner goes out drinking with them at their local.”
Jan continues to cradle the Welshman - Colin, he supposes - close as players stream around them, not caring. Finally they pull away from each other, the Welsh one smiling as he speaks to Jan, his eyes bright and one of his fists still clenching Jan’s vest and warm up jacket.
One of Colin’s Welsh teammates comes around and slaps Jan on the shoulder, saying something Arjen can’t hear. Jan laughs, throwing an arm around his shoulder and hugging him from the side. Hughes finally lets go of his jacket when Jan pulls the other one in, but he hovers, the three of them chatting until the teammate gets distracted by someone else.
Colin gets his attention with a hand on his waist, nodding towards the end of the tunnel, and Jan nods. He cups his cheek, saying something to him, and Hughes lights up, responding, before Jan drops his hand and walks down towards the pitch and to the bench.
Hughes gets into position in the opposite line up, leaning down to chat with the mascot he’s been given, still smiling.
Arjen lets out the breath he didn’t realize was holding as he watched them, feeling uneasy as he turns around and waits for their cue to enter.
He doesn’t think about it again until later on that night. He’s completely restless; Marten is so annoyed with his fidgeting that he throws a pillow at him and tells him to leave. He had intended to go down to the (hopefully) empty lobby, but when he rounds the corner he stops dead.
Jan and the short Welshman are kissing.
They’re not even hiding it, standing in the open door to Jan’s room. Arjen slides back around the corner in a panic, wondering where Marwin is, since he’s pretty sure he’s sharing with Jan. When he peeks around the corner again they’re still kissing, pressed close together.
It’s not like how they used to kiss, either. This isn’t lust, the two of them keyed up. This isn’t post-match handjobs and a text asking if the other is up and wants to hangout .
Jan is cradling him. He feels funny because that word keeps popping into his head when he sees them, but that’s the only way he can think of describing it. Jan holds Colin’s head in his hands like he’s the most precious thing he’s ever been allowed to touch. Colin’s hands are pressed to Jan’s sides, fisted in his hoodie, the same as they were when he saw them in the tunnel.
“Babe,” The Welshman says, finally pulling away, “I should go back.”
Jan sighs, and somehow sounds both disappointed and dreamy. Arjen didn’t know he could even make that sound.
“I know.”
“I can’t… I’m not supposed to be here, yeah? I had to sneak out and have Gwil cover for me, and-”
“I know, Colin, I’m not dumb,” Jan rolls his eyes, pressing a kiss to Colin's forehead, “I just missed you, and I can’t wait until we are home. I hate sleeping alone.”
Colin makes a little wounded noise of agreement, and Jan nuzzles into his neck.
“The lads are all okay? Did something happen? You’re usually not this clingy.”
“It is fine. They just… don’t know that we are a thing, outside of Marwin.”
“No problems with Arjen?”
Arjen feels like someone’s punched him at the mention of his name.
“He’s fine, I haven’t really talked to him at all,” Jan shrugs, “And we don’t really have anything to talk about, so it doesn’t matter.”
“I suppose ‘hey boyo, My new partner is a club teammate and he’s a better boyfriend than you, let me tell you about how great he is’ doesn’t really work in this situation, even if you are Dutch.”
Jan pulls away and frowns at him.
“No, but he would probably appreciate the honesty.”
“Of course he would,” Colin snorts, then checked his watch, “I should really go, love. If the gaffer catches me out he’ll kick my arse.”
Colin rocks up on his toes to kiss Jan yet again, his hands pressed to his chest.
“I love you.”
Jan hums, then presses their lips together again, “I love you too. I will see you at home on Sunday.”
Colin kisses him one more time before gently shoving him away, “I will see you Sunday,” he promises, then pulls his jacket hood up. He leans around Jan to speak into the room, his voice raising slightly.
“Goodbye, Marwin, it was nice to meet you!”
“Goodbye Colin, thank you for making me feel like I was intruding while in my own room!”
Colin laughs, heading down the hall, towards where Arjen knew the elevators were.
The door slips shut behind Jan as he takes a few steps forward, watching him go. Then he turns in the opposite direction, towards where Arjen is hiding.
“You never seemed like a pervert, Arjen. You can come out now.”
Arjen sheepishly moves out from his hiding spot.
“I… you didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t want him to get weird about it, like he usually does,” Jan says, shrugging, “he has had problems, with people knowing. They’ve tried to fuck him over, or make him feel bad about it. I don’t know how he would feel if you knew.”
Oh. Arjen suddenly feels guilty.
“Teammates gave him shit?”
“Management,” Jan admits, “Well, one coach. They had problems in the past, and finding out Colin preferred men did not go over well. He’s gone now, though, and Colin is more important to us than he ever was, so fuck him.”
Arjen nods, trying to come across as sympathetic, though he’s not sure it works.
“Other people know?”
“Everyone at Richmond doesn't care. They are our friends. Even Ms. Welton knows, and would probably murder someone if they told on us to the press.”
Arjen tries to think of what they’d do at Ajax if they found out he routinely hooked up with guys off Grindr before he got scared and got a girlfriend. He doesn’t think the outcome would be anything like what Jan and Colin had.
“That’s… well, if feels stupid saying that’s great but, yeah, that’s great, Jan.”
“It is stupid, though I understand what you mean,” Jan says. He glances behind him when he hears the elevator ding down the hall, before turning back to Arjen, “Well… I should go to sleep. Goodnight, Arjen.”
“Yeah. Goodnight Jan.”
Jan slips back into his room, and Arjen goes back to his, takes a sleeping pill, and goes to bed. He goes through the rest of the call up on autopilot, used to it after 67 Caps. Him and Jan talk a few more times, but nothing serious, outside of him asking how his girlfriend is. Which, he has to admit, he’s unsure if it’s Jan just being blunt as he normally is and trying to make small talk by asking after Ster, or him trying to needle, but it shockingly feels more like the former.
Arjen scores a goal in their game against the Spaniards, and Jan is there first, pulling him up into his arms and off his feet, squeezing him so hard he feels it for the rest of the second half even though he tries not to think about it.
And when Jan is offered a flight home from Santander a few hours earlier and he takes it, a huge smile on his face, Arjen tries not to think about that, either.