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She was hiding.
Crouched underneath her desk in a desperate attempt to go unnoticed, Marinette was barely breathing. She could hear footsteps stomping towards her room as she quivered in fear, making no avail to control her shaking. She didn't know where Tikki was, but she prayed that she would stay hidden. This could very well be a matter of life or death.
The trapdoor swung open with a bang, and Marinette shrunk back further against the wall. From her hiding place, she could see a pair of black boots and dark pants appear in front of her. They paused their marching, before slowly stepping across the room, causing the floorboards to creak in an agonizing sound. It was unclear what they were doing, but she held back a whimper of fear.
As the boots stopped once again, but this time directly in front of her, her eyes filled with unshed tears. She was trapped, and there was no running now.
A low, evil chuckle came from the figure. "Playing hide-and-seek, now are we? I never thought you were one for games, Ladybug."
Panic.
Total panic.
She felt her heart pounding in her ears, but Marinette knew she couldn't show it. Not now, when her life and the world as she knew it were on the line. Her lungs screamed for air as she held her breath, but they went ignored. Too risky to do anything more.
"No?" the male questioned. "Fighting until the very end, I see. I guess that's the one thing we have in common. You know," he stopped. For a few moments, everything was still. That was until a few seconds later, the desk Marinette was hiding underneath was lifted off of the ground. The knickknacks that had adorned its surface fell to the ground beside her, and she cried out in the worst fear she had ever felt. The kind that felt like it was creeping into her chest and threatening to consume her entire being.
Shadowmoth stared back down at her, his teeth gleaming in a wide, dark smile. "You know, the stubborn ones were always the most fun to crush."
Marinette acted before her thoughts had even fully processed, darting to the side and scrambling up to her bed. Hawkmoth followed close behind, snickering all the while, as if he had already won this battle. Her tears finally fell and blurred her vision as she hauled herself up to her balcony. "Tikki, spots on!" She called, hoping for the kwami to appear next to her.
Nothing happened.
"Tikki!" She screamed again, but it seemed like no one could hear her. Not even the passerbys as they walked along the sidewalks, completely unaware of what was happening.
Marinette whipped her head around to see Hawkmoth as he emerged from the balcony trapdoor. "Oh, that might be a problem." He held out his clenched fist in front of him, opening it to reveal her earrings in his palm.
She gasped, touching her earlobes. How could he have gotten them? She had been wearing them the entire time! "Chat!" She yelled out for anyone to here. Secret identities aside, she needed him. She let out a sob as she collapsed, leaning on her balcony railing. Now that he had her earrings, there was nothing that could be done. "Chat," she whispered to herself, a broken plea.
She would never see him again with her earrings gone and the world ending.
"Chat!!!" she yelled one last time, completely in vain.
"Chat!" Marinette bolted up, breathing heavily, as if she had just run a marathon. Now sitting up in her bed, she whirled around in panic, scared that she had missed something. Upon touching her ears, she found her earrings were intact, and a sleepy kwami had floated down to her. Tikki gazed upon her holder with worried eyes, but Marinette couldn't focus on anything else besides breathing as she tried to control her gasps for air.
As she calmed down, she began to take her surroundings into account. Tikki and her earrings were there, her desk was still in place, and there was no Hawkmoth. She was safe, for now. Lifting her glass from the shelf next to her bed, Marinette tried to take a few sips of water. It was cold and awakening, but she had to force herself to swallow for fear of throwing it all up later. Her hands shook as she set it down.
"Marinette? Are you okay?" Tikki asked hesitantly,as if she were afraid of the response.
Marinette just shook her head. There was no way to convey what she was feeling right now, and she didn't even know if she could talk at all. She needed security and safety, and talking about it would only worsen that need.
She needed Chat Noir, really. He was the safest.
"T-Tikki, spots on," she whispered, and was relieved to see that the transformation still worked as she became Ladybug. She slowly reached up and opened the trapdoor to the balcony as it creaked a little. She managed to pull herself up from it even with her shaking hands and she clutched her yo-yo, aiming for the Eiffel Tower.
It was only a few minutes before she arrived, propelling herself up to the rooftop that sat across from it. She always seemed to meet Chat here, and even if she didn't tonight, it was enough knowing that he could find her. Granted, it was where Hawkmoth had appeared just to taunt her with the miracle box, but besides that. This was the duo's spot, and she wasn't going to let a supervillain (who was probably going through a mid-life crisis) take it from them.
Ladybug sighed, breathing in the cold, night air. She felt it in her lungs; a reminder that she was still alive and Hawkmoth hadn't won. Not yet, anyways. With him stealing the miracle box earlier in the week, he had stolen her sanity and sleep along with it. She was the guardian after all, and what point was there in that if she didn't even have anything to guard?
A situation that could have been avoided if you had just let Chat help and weren't too stubborn, there little voice in her head remarked. Ladybug shook her head to clear it, but its presence lingered in that back of her mind. It may not be a pleasant thought, but it wasn't entirely incorrect.
"Ladybug?"
A sudden voice jolted her out of her thoughts. She spun around quickly, tensing up in fear of seeing Hawkmoth behind her. It was only when she spotted a familiar pair of cat ears that she breathed a sigh of relief, slowly letting her muscles relax. She was close to crying tears of exhaustion at this point.
Chat sat beside her, kneeling he glanced over in concern. "What are you doing out here? It's almost two in the morning."
Ladybug stared down at her hands nervously. He had put some space between them upon sitting down, but she was surprised to find that she hated it. The overwhelming urge to be close to him was growing stronger, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. "Just a nightmare. They haven't been stopping recently so...I guess I just thought some fresh air would help." She conveniently left out that she had hoped to run into him along the way.
"I'm sorry," he replied quietly. To her alarm, she noticed a look of guilt in his eyes as she turned her gaze to him. He paused for a moment before continuing, "I wish there was something I could do."
Ladybug stayed frozen. There is something you can do! her mind screamed. A big something! Something that you've offered and I've always declined!
Internal panic rose in her chest. Nope. That couldn't be it because...no.
But...it would make sense. She had always held a sort of affection for her partner, but it had never gotten beyond her control. Until now. Until then, when he stood in the pouring rain and let her rant just so that he could hug her and tell her that everything would be okay. At the time she had dismissed her wonderstruck heart as shock that he was there, but now that she had allowed herself to think about it, it was all coming back to her. The clap of thunder, the heat of her cheeks in contrast to the cold rain, the feeling of falling deeper than she had ever intended to.
Wait.
"Ladybug, are you okay?" the man beside her questioned, oblivious to her realization.
Ladybug wasn't even sure of the answer herself, but quickly exclaimed, "Yeah, the dream is over now! Why wouldn't I be?" It sounded forced to her own ears, but she was hoping he wouldn't notice that and her starry eyes. She had never been good at stifling emotional expressions.
And she was...she loved...
"You were just looking at me like..." Chat trailed off, studying her before shaking his head as if to clear his mind. "Nothing, sorry."
"Like what?" She immediately cursed her curiosity. No! She had just admitted to herself that she might totally be in love with her best friend, and now she was pushing the boundaries she herself had set. She had to be totally crazy!
"Like," he paused, sounding wistful. "Like something had changed."
Ladybug exhaled, working up her courage as her nerves continued to rise. "Oh," was the only thing that she could formulate.
"I'm sorry, I know that's not what you need from me right now. I just can't help but notice something different since Hawkmoth stole the miraculous. Besides the obvious ones," he added hastily in response to her pointed stare. "The way you acted around me seemed different. We seem different."
Ladybug just nodded, unsure of what else to say. She was in love. And he deserved to know, just as she would deserve the inevitable rejection in response, no matter how much it terrified her. Her eyes misted over and she gulped hard. "I guess I saw you in a new light that day."
"What light?" Chat asked almost pleadingly, moving a little closer to her. She could feel her heartbeat speed up at his close proximity, but isn't that what she had wanted? Damnit heart, figure out your feelings! "I don't want to pressure you into anything, but I...I really want to know, My Lady."
And with the nickname, her resolve shattered. The tears overflowed and she flung herself towards him, pulling him into a tight hug, her arms around his neck. "I-I'm sorry," she sobbed. "You've been here for everything, a-and I don't deserve any of it!"
"Buginette," he soothed, rubbing circles along her back. "I've always told you that I'm here for you. That's not changing because you made a mistake. Part of loving someone is accepting their mistakes, and never seeing them as perfect. And I do: I love you."
She clung to him harder. "B-but it's not just that! I can't even tell you the truth now; I'm too scared!" She forced herself to lean back and look at him, though she didn't move from basically sitting in his lap. "It's too late!"
"What's too late?"
"My," Ladybug swallowed, forcing the next words out. "My feelings. For you. They're too late."
She watched as her very composed partner slowly registered her words. His mouth hung open in shock and his eyes widened, his gaze never tearing from hers. "Your..." he said slowly, as if to make sure he had hear her correctly.
Of course, that was when it all came out. "Yes, my feelings for you! My stupid, confusing feelings! And the worst part is that I didn't even want to say it out loud. I just...I'm done fabricating stuff with you."
Chat's eyes were as wide as saucers as he gazed at her, the embodiment of amazed shock. "Romantic feelings?"
Her cheeks flushed. "Yes."
There were a few moments of silence between them as Ladybug waited for any kind of response from him. When he didn't speak, the fear started to creep in. What if she really was too late, and now was going to get the same rejection that she had given him since day one? Her muscles tensed, bracing herself for the kind let-down that was sure to come.
It didn't come.
"I don't want to take this too far too fast," her murmured, causing Ladybug's heart to start pounding and her mind to realize that she was still right up against him where they were both kneeling. "It's been a rough week and there's been a lot of changes for you, and I've wanted this moment for too long. It's not fair to you to rush it."
Ladybug's breath seemed to get caught in her throat. Her nerves were jumping and she longed for him more than ever. Yes, there had been a lot of damage this week, but he didn't seem to understand that this is why she loved him. He'd been waiting God knows how long, and he still put her first. Like he always did. "Well," her voice trembled. "I think sometimes the best moments are the most imperfect."
He paused before small smile crept onto his face. "You always say the wisest things."
She smiled shyly in return, only just noticing that her tears had stopped and her cheeks were beginning to dry. "It's you that brings them out of me," she breathed. "I don't even know where I'd be without you."
Suddenly, he reached down, bringing one of his hands to her jaw. Her lips parted in surprise as her cupped the side of her face, holding it as if it were a precious object that he was scared to break. His thumb stroked her cheek: a touch so gentle that Ladybug couldn't help the shiver that went through her body. Was it always this hot outside?
"Can I...?" Chat questioned, his voice low enough to make her nerves skyrocket. His gaze didn't waver from hers as his thumb moved to skim over her bottom lip.
Despite her instincts screaming at her to stop, Ladybug found herself nodding slightly as so not to break his touch. It was extremely unfair how addicting it was, and how much it felt like her head was spinning in the best possible way.
She had never kissed a boy in her life, but she felt her eyes sliding shut of their own accord moments before his hand fell away and his lips touched hers.
It wasn't overwhelming like she had expected, but rather, it felt soft and warm. Inviting, almost. She was frozen for a moment, not knowing how to respond, but his arms wrapped around her waist and she melted against him. He guided her through it, keeping it sweet and innocent as their lips fit together.
By no means did either of them know what they were doing, but that was the beauty of it all. When the kiss broke, Ladybug wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Their lips connected again, this time initiating something deeper. Chat was careful in the way he kissed her, as to avoid it becoming too much for her. But really, she loved it; and when she felt his tongue brush against her bottom lip, she accepted.
Even though this newfound heat exhilarated Ladybhg, she knew it wouldn't go beyond that for the moment. This was new for both parties, and they were both a little hesitant to push any boundaries. Besides, Chat was right, it had been a week. She was sure more would come in time, but they didn't know the details of their relationship now, and she wasn't looking for a definite answer right now.
Their lips slowed as they separated, leaning back just enough to look at each other. Ladybug was pleased, and almost a little shy, to find the tenderness in Chat's dreamy expression as he stared at her. This was love, she was sure of it, and it was intoxicating.
The spell was broken by Chat's pout as his head dropped forward onto her shoulder. "My Ladyyyyy," he whined. "I'm supposed to be comforting you. And now you made me fall apart."
Ladybug giggled, her heart soaring as she glanced down at him. "Oh but Chaton, you've done so much more. You've given me everything I've ever wanted and now I don't even know how to process it."
"You don't know how to process? You broke me over here," came his muffled complaint, and she giggled again.
"Yeah, well," she gazed adoringly at her partner as he lifted his head to meet her eyes. "You made me happy. And that's more than I could have asked for."
He smiled sweetly at her. "I swear you'll always be safe with me, Buginette."
"I know," Ladybug sighed, leaning forward. "As long as you are too."
He didn't get to reply before they were entwined in another kiss, and she took that as a promise. Her heart had been broken, anxiety twisted around the shattered pieces, but maybe it could be healed. Maybe he could heal it.
She'd been the Archer one too many times for her liking, letting people slip away like they were raindrops on glass. She'd been the hurt party, crying on the floor of her bathroom till her surroundings were foggy. And for the love of God, the anxiety still resided; pointing out that Hawkmoth was still a looming threat, as was Chat Blanc.
But she was past the point of giving a shit. She was fifteen, in love, and she was going to let herself be. Even though she was in the darkest place she had ever experienced, the light at the end of the tunnel was the brightest.
Because he could stay.
He would stay.
And that in itself was the only thought in her mind as the night went on, and as his kisses drowned out the world.