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Naruto had his head laid on Sasuke’s chest with his arms wrapped around Sasuke’s waist. Sasuke was cradling Naruto’s head in his hands and he couldn’t keep himself from having his face dug into the top of Naruto’s head for longer than a few seconds.
Sasuke was holding him so closely, so tenderly, that it felt unreal to Naruto. So unreal, as though the past several months have all been some kind of extremely long, deeply confusing fever dream. At least he wasn’t alone in this feeling. Through their many – much needed – talks from how many bowls of Ichiraku’s ramen Naruto can easily down now, to their ideas of reforming the Shinobi world, Naruto had discovered that Sasuke had been feeling the same things as he was.
And much to Naruto’s delight, it was clear that Sasuke wasn’t even trying to hide his emotions too much from him. There were times when the conversations would strike a frayed chord, would get too heated, and Sasuke would fall back to his schooled and blank expressions, or flare up with an insult or two, but those came in less and less nowadays. Generally, Sasuke had been…letting his guard down around Naruto.
The first thing Sasuke did after coming back was show up outside his window in the middle of the night, asking if he could come in to talk. But all their talking had led to…
Through the perpetual lingering stares they held longer each time that would turn wide-eyed and incredulous, other times mournful and repentant, over the sheer fact that they were in front of each other like this. The breaths that would get caught in their throats, mid-sentence, leaving them forgetting what they were talking about a second ago. The accidental-turned-intentional brush of fingers and touches, evolving to sitting pressed against each other from shoulder to ankle, to hugging, to cuddling in bed like this.
Until the time they spent apart shrank and the time they spent glued to each other grew, and Naruto found it hard to believe a second of it, despite it being very real, and pretty much the whole reason he went through hell for. Spending time with Sasuke in the village – in his bed – this was reality in every possible way it could be, and Naruto kept repeating to himself that the war was over, there was peace now, and that he wasn’t caught in Madara’s Infinite Tsukuyomi.
They still had a lot to talk about. They’ve been addressing the long list in nibble-sized pieces, always ending up distracted one way or another until they fall into a silence only filled by each other’s presence.
It felt so good having Sasuke here like this after so long and so much.
“I think…this was all I’ve ever really wanted,” Naruto muttered in a daze. The calm stillness of the moment, the warmth of Sasuke’s breath spreading through his hair. The rhythmical sound and feel of Sasuke’s beating heart, steady and strong, under his ear had him nearly motionless and completely at Sasuke’s mercy.
“You think?” Sasuke muttered back, and Naruto felt his voice vibrate through his skull. As if Sasuke had talked directly into Naruto’s head, like Sasuke’s voice was the tone Naruto’s very thoughts spoke in.
“I mean,” Naruto smiled and closed his eyes, and not really wanting to, but forcing himself sober just enough to explain. “I knew I cared about you. A lot. And…you know that much. You leaving the village…it– the first time, it killed me not being able to see you every day. Knowing why you left…well, part of it, back then, only made me wanna train harder to bring you back. I knew I had to get stronger…for you. Mostly.”
Right then, Sasuke’s heart had faltered for a split second. It was quick, and if Naruto’s senses weren’t still focused on it, he would’ve missed it. Naruto gently tightened his arms around Sasuke, and kept going.
“I didn’t know why– I mean, I didn’t understand it yet, why it bothered me so much. But…”
It dawned on Naruto that he was about to confess. Even though he’d been building up to it for days, it sent a shocking chill all over his body. It wasn’t nervousness, it was excitement– it was a rush of finally getting to tell Sasuke what he wanted and needed to hear.
“But, um– after that promise I made you…under the bridge. The promise of us dying together–”
His senses picked up another trip of Sasuke’s heart, but chose to let it go unnoticed.
“A couple days after coming back to the village, Kakashi sensei and Sakura and…me– I realized what I said. I understood what it was I felt. And I think…that’s what I’ve felt this whole time but it jus’ went over my head as a kid,” he trailed off in a light chuckle, and it was quickly followed by silence and the moment turned somber. He swallowed before continuing, his throat felt too dry.
Funny how excitement can flip over to nervousness in a blink.
“Y’know, I– uh, I could’ve told you after our last fight, when you asked me that question. For like the millionth time,” another nervous, hallow chuckle escaped him. “But I…somehow I had enough energy left to find a way around telling you directly. Eh– I should’ve known you’d see right through it…”
Just as his thoughts trailed off, suddenly aware he probably wasn’t making any sense, he noticed the top of his head felt a little too cold. There wasn’t any of the warmth Sasuke’s exhales brought. And Sasuke’s chest wasn’t rising, it kept imperceptibly falling. Was Sasuke waiting? Holding his breath, and waiting?
Naruto took in a deep breath for the both of them and spoke loud enough for Sasuke to hear, clear enough so his words weren’t mistaken.
“Even though you are my closest friend, you were never just only a friend, Sasuke. You mean so much more to me– you always have, and I couldn't just let you be alone. Sasuke, I love you. More than anything– more than everything. I love you so fucking much that it hurts.”
Naruto inhaled long and deep again, but this time, it left him feeling weightless with relief. Finally answering Sasuke’s question with something he wanted to say before he even realized what it was he had been trying to say all along. His mind had caught up to him, so Naruto said it, words tumbling out of his mouth like he couldn’t speak fast enough, and Sasuke heard it.
Sasuke’s chest was trembling under his head – tiny, microscopic tremors, and Naruto could hear the little gasps that came with it and he lifted his head to look at Sasuke–
Sasuke’s hands clutched at Naruto’s head and pulled him back against his chest and held him there. Naruto wanted to be confused, wanted to be surprised, but he knew Sasuke was keeping him from seeing him cry. It was his initial reaction back then, and with the feelings at last spoken in truer words, free-floating in the air, how could Sasuke not cry again?
At that thought, Naruto himself felt as though he was on the verge of tears, as well. And he would cry, too. He would let Sasuke keep him here, and he would wet his shirt with tears, but this was a crucial moment. There was an overpowering urge to look Sasuke in the eye and say it again.
He unwrapped his arms from around Sasuke and slid his hands up the sides of his torso, keeping his movement slow and gentle. His hands reached Sasuke’s shoulder blades, and then looped around and slid down his arms until they reached his hands. Naruto gave them a soft squeeze before pulling them away. Sasuke breathed in, collecting air so fast through his mouth, that the way his chest puffed up almost acted as a springboard that lifted Naruto’s head up, and then he was met with Sasuke’s eyes.
Naruto physically restrained himself from making any sudden movements, like bugging his eyes out and gasping, because he had fully expected Sasuke to turn his face away again, or at the least have his eyes screwed shut–
Sasuke’s eyes, filled with contrite again, were looking right at him. Tears streaked down the sides of his head and into his hair, and he was overtly staring back at Naruto.
Naruto nudged himself upwards, digging his elbows into the mattress, and pressed his forehead against Sasuke’s. Feeling Sasuke’s warm, shaky breath fan over his mouth was a new thing for him, a new experience, and he savored knowing all the other new ways of getting to know Sasuke he still had.
He let go of Sasuke’s hands to brush his thumbs under his eyes, and push back his hair. Unlike Sasuke’s right palm, rough and calloused from wielding weapons most of his life, his face and hair were still inconceivably soft. Naruto found himself wanting to keep it this way– protect Sasuke from any more violence and hatred. Keep him safe and loved forever.
“You are all I want, Sasuke,” he told him in a whisper. “I love you.”
Naruto lightly pressed his lips to Sasuke’s. This wasn’t new, but damn, did it feel like it was. So different, so much better, so much more purposeful. It felt like some kind of revelation. He wasn’t dreaming, he wasn’t recreating this kind of display of affection in his head anymore.
Sasuke reposed himself to be within arm’s reach of Naruto, and then chest to chest, and now mouth to mouth, and god, was Naruto spinning–
His lips were warmer, softer, and comforting, and it was exhilarating, and Naruto was diving deeper into them faster than he had into anything in his life before. Sasuke’s fingers fell like feathers on his cheeks and then Sasuke sighed. He sighed like he was relieved – like he was at last given what he’d been waiting for out in the cold rain for years.
All at once, Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s head fervently and pulled as though there was any space left for them to close, and he kissed him back hard. Instantly, Naruto could sense Sasuke’s resolve in its entirety.
Urgent, pleading and almost desperate this kiss had become, but it was tender, and perfect – amazing, it was amazing and god it felt so good so pure so–
Naruto matched Sasuke and kissed him well after his face had gone numb, through this crazy, weird spinning of the room, until Sasuke pulled back and they just stayed close to each other, sharing the air between them.
Sasuke swallowed, and Naruto didn’t think he’d ever heard the small wet sound as clearly as he just did from him before. It was quiet for a few more seconds before Sasuke spoke, airily in a whisper Naruto could feel against his lips.
“I love you, Naruto.”
He wanted to hear it again. He wanted it to be the only thing he heard for the rest of his life – Sasuke telling him he loved him back, and Naruto’s urge to cry rounded him again. When he breathed in, his face broke into a grin, his eyes stung, and he dug his face into the nook of Sasuke’s neck.
“And you, too, are all I want,” Sasuke spoke into his ear, into his head again, and Naruto shuddered. Coming from Sasuke, he knew exactly what it meant. His arms circled Sasuke’s chest tightly.
“We’ll change the Shinobi world together,” Naruto confirmed. “You’ll see.”
Sasuke exhaled sharply through his nose and laid his hands to rest on Naruto’s back. He hummed, and that sound made Naruto smile widely again. Naruto thought he knew what little moments of peace felt like, but none of them came close to this one.
Later that night, Sasuke practically peeled Naruto off of him after his stomach growled for the third time. He said that he refused Naruto would go to sleep on an empty stomach. They cooked a meal for two, and of course, Sasuke gave Naruto the plate with the bigger portion.
After dinner, they got back into bed near midnight, and Sasuke sent Naruto off into a dream with soft kisses to his lips, the sides of his mouth, his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. And his dream was filled with clear images of Sasuke, of them together, and of the bustling streets of the perfect world they were going to build.