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the first time it happens, neither of them see it coming.
jaehyun is drunk, leant against the wall as johnny raves on about a boy he’d been dancing with. jungwoo? junghwan? something like that. he’s not really listening though, too distracted with watching yukhei where he’s sat across the room, sipping a beer and staring straight back at jaehyun with dark eyes.
they’re only acquaintances, running in the same circle of friends but never really interacting with each other, and maybe that detachment is what makes jaehyun so eager to pursue whatever the younger boy wants with him.
fucking within your friendship circle is risky but if you’re not actually friends then it’s fine, right? jaehyun thinks so, and he has to hold back his sigh of relief when johnny gets distracted by something and yukhei takes that as his cue to nod his head to the door. jaehyun nods back, and he pats johnny on the arm before he’s pushing off the wall and heading out of the living room.
the hallway is more crowded than he expected, but only a second passes before a warm hand is settling low on his back and jaehyun hums as yukhei guides him back through the house and up the stairs.
once they reach the top of the landing, jaehyun turns back round to ask yukhei which room they’re headed to but he doesn’t get further than opening his mouth before yukhei is on him, hands holding jaehyun’s cheeks firmly as he presses their mouths together in an admittedly sloppy kiss. jaehyun loves it though, groans into yukhei’s mouth and wraps his own arms tight around yukhei’s waist as he walks them back until jaehyun hits the wall.
yukhei doesn’t pause though, doesn’t even give jaehyun a chance to catch his breath, instead uses it as an opportunity to swipe his tongue into jaehyun’s mouth and then has the nerve to whine when jaehyun sucks on it.
it’s good, yukhei is a good kisser. even jaehyun’s alcohol hazed mind can tell that much, and he would be more than happy to run out the rest of their encounter like this; kissing and rutting against each other until they both come, but someone behind them wolf whistles and it has yukhei pulling back, a distressed look on his face.
without saying anything, he grabs jaehyun’s hand and jaehyun can only follow as yukhei pulls him further into the upper floor until they reach a door labelled ‘lucas’ and yukhei doesn’t hesitate to push jaehyun inside.
the second the door is closed, yukhei is on him again, pushing a thigh between jaehyun’s legs as he kisses him again and jaehyun chokes on his spit when he feels how hard yukhei is already. “god, you’re so worked up for me already,” he huffs out between kisses and yukhei whines again.
“wanted you to fuck me all night,” he says, pulling back from the kiss to look jaehyun in the eye and something flicks inside of him.
he threads a hand through yukhei’s hair, pulling him back until yukhei whimpers and he makes sure his voice is low when he asks, “you want me to fuck you, yeah? i can do that, can give you my cock if you want it so desperately,” and yukhei practically melts in his arms.
he’s pliant as jaehyun pushes him over to the bed, letting out a quiet huff as he hits the sheets and he quickly scrambles to push himself up the bed until his head is at the pillows. jaehyun crawls up over him, boxing yukhei in with his knees and jaehyun knows that yukhei is a fair bit bigger than him but right now the younger boy looks so small underneath him. his eyes are blown wide, lips plush, dark red and he whimpers when jaehyun’s hand makes its way back into his hair.
“god, you’re so responsive,” jaehyun murmurs. he pulls yukhei’s hair for show and just like he wanted yukhei whines, back arching off the bed slightly. “so fucking hot, can’t wait to get in you.”
that has yukhei whimpering again, and jaehyun can feel his hands shaking slightly as they slip under the back of his tshirt.
they don’t waste time getting naked.
yukhei is desperately hard underneath him, and jaehyun’s too focused on getting off to even consider teasing him. he almost trips when he stands up to tug his jeans off, and yukhei laughs at him, but it quickly fades out when jaehyun turns back to him, climbing back onto the bed.
“so how do you want me baby?” jaehyun asks. he’s leant over yukhei like before, and he sits back on his haunches so he can loosely jerk their dicks together. “you wanna ride me?”
yukhei moans, but he shakes his head. “fuck me like this, wanna see you. wanna be able to kiss you.”
“okay, yeah we can do that,” jaehyun hums and then he’s leaning back down and licking his way into yukhei’s mouth. the kiss is sloppier than before, desperation shining through and the whine that yukhei lets out when jaehyun bites at his lower lip is heavenly. “you have lube?” he asks between kisses, lips brushing against yukhei’s, and then younger nods, pats the bedside table and then he’s kissing his way down jaehyun’s neck, sucking and licking at his collarbones.
it’s kinda hard to focus on rooting through the drawer when yukhei is sucking hickeys into his chest, but somehow jaehyun does it, and yukhei bites him harder when jaehyun’s slick fingers tease his hole.
“‘s cold,” he hisses, but he doesn’t try to push his hand away and jaehyun mumbles an apology against his skin before pushing in his first finger to the knuckle.
it’s been a while since jaehyun’s topped someone, fingered someone like this and he’d forgotten how good the tightness felt. “you feel so fucking good,” he moans when he presses in his second finger, and yukhei’s whole body shakes when jaehyun scissors his fingers, pushing them as deep as he can.
“faster, please-- i can take it, just hurry up. need you in me, please,” yukhei begs. his pitchy voice is a far cry from his normal deep tone and jaehyun feels warm knowing that he’s the reason behind the change.
“okay babe, i got you,” he coos back, his hand stroking yukhei’s thigh gently as he fucks him on his fingers.
yukhei practically screams when jaehyun gets a third finger inside him, hips bucking when he just brushes his prostate and it’s not long before he’s begging again. “jaehyun, jae-- fuck me, oh my god please. i’m ready, please, i need it so bad.”
and if jaehyun thought yukhei sounded pretty on his fingers, the guttural moan he lets out as jaehyun pushes inside of him is music to his ears. when he finally bottoms out, yukhei lets out a broken sob, breath stuttering as he tries to calm himself down and he looks so hot, jaehyun can’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss him.
yukhei’s eager for it though, hands coming up to fist at jaehyun’s hair and he whines straight into jaehyun’s mouth when the elder starts properly fucking into him. his noises are nonstop, whimpering with every thrust and his hands fall down to jaehyun’s shoulders, holding on tight.
whether it’s because of the alcohol, or because it’s just that good, only around ten minutes pass before jaehyun feels his orgasm start to build and as the heat starts to coil in his abdomen, he thrusts harder into yukhei.
the younger is just moaning into his mouth at this point, too blissed out to have the coordination to kiss, and jaehyun kisses the side of his mouth, his jaw, and then he’s moving down to his neck. yukhei’s clearly feeling it just as much as jaehyun is, because when he starts sucking on his neck, yukhei gasps, and then his body stills and jaehyun feels him shoot between them.
the fact that yukhei just came untouched is unreasonably hot, way more than it should be, and jaehyun groans, hands squeezing yukhei’s hips tight as his own orgasm washes over him. it’s only as he’s coming that he realises neither of them considered condoms, and yukhei’s eyes widen when he feels jaehyun’s come filling him up.
he doesn’t freak out like jaehyun expects though, no. instead his eyes flutter shut, a broken moan falling from his lips and he reaches down to jerk off his dick, which jaehyun didn’t even realise was still hard. barely a minute passes before yukhei is coming again, and barely anything spills from his dick, but his whole body melts against the sheets and jaehyun hisses at the way he clenches around him.
“that was-- wow,” yukhei stutters, after a couple of minutes have passed. jaehyun has pulled out now, laying on the bed next to yukhei and honestly, he feels the sentiment.
“yeah, it was,” he pants back, and yukhei huffs out a laugh.
they don’t stay in the bedroom for long after that. they clean up with tissues on the bedside table, both pulling their clothes back on and then jaehyun is leading them out of the bedroom and back into the landing.
it’s still as empty as it was when they first came up and yukhei smiles, before pulling jaehyun in for one last kiss.
“see you around,” he says when he pulls back and then he’s gone, down the stairs and back to the party.
jaehyun goes home.
-
it happens again at the next party.
there’s no build up this no time, no eye fucking each other across the room. no, all yukhei does is grab jaehyun by the wrist as they pass each other in the hallway and jaehyun is game, following behind as the younger pulls him into the ground floor bathroom.
“been looking for you all night,” yukhei huffs and jaehyun thinks he’s gonna kiss him but he doesn’t. instead yukhei’s hands fall to his hips, pushing jaehyun back against the sink and then he’s dropping down to his knees. jaehyun feels all his blood rush south at the sight of it.
“like me that much, do you?” he jokes, though his words don’t really hold any strength because yukhei is palming him through his jeans and his voice is shaking.
“you’re the best fuck i’ve had all year,” yukhei says in response and though it’s not the direct answer he was looking for, it still makes jaehyun feel good. really good.
he doesn’t have time to dwell on his boosted ego though, because yukhei clearly wasn’t lying about searching him out all night. his desperation shows through in his frantic movements, the aborted way he tugs at jaehyun’s belt and huffs lightly when it takes longer than expected to pull it free. it’s cute, the way his brow furrows and the little happy sound he makes when he can finally pull jaehyun’s jeans down is cute too.
but then yukhei’s mouth is on his dick and all thoughts about how cute the other boy is vanish, replaced by a stream of fuck, fuck, fuck.
turns out yukhei sucks dick just like he kisses; sloppy and enthusiastic, and jaehyun doesn’t even care that the sink is making his back hurt because yukhei fucking deepthroats him, just sucks him straight down and swallows around him and jaehyun is actually convinced he’s in heaven.
his hands fall down to yukhei’s head, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and yukhei whines around his cock when jaehyun pulls at it. he pulls off with a gasp, a string of spit hanging between his lip and jaehyun’s dick and his eyes are wide when he says, “keep pulling my hair like that.” his voice is slightly rough already and jaehyun groans, nodding his head.
when yukhei goes back down on him again, jaehyun does as he’s told, hands clenching tight in yukhei’s hair and tugs at it sharply when yukhei’s teeth graze against him. it results in another choked of moan from yukhei, his whole mouth vibrating around jaehyun’s cock and he can already tell he’s not gonna last very long.
and he doesn’t, barely making it ten minutes before his knees feel like they’re about to give out underneath him. he tugs at yukhei’s hair, trying to get him to pull off but yukhei just whines up at him. he pulls back a little, so that his lips are stretched around the head of jaehyun’s cock and then he brings up a hand to hold it steady as he starts to suck.
“yukhei, fuck, stop it-- i’m gonna come,” jaehyun gasps but yukhei doesn’t stop, doesn’t pull off. “yukhei-- hei, oh my fucking fuck.”
his knees really do give out on him then, as he comes, and jaehyun is thankful that yukhei has the presence of mind to hold him up because his whole body feels like jelly. and yukhei just sucks him through it, swallowing everything that jaehyun gives him.
maybe a minute passes before jaehyun’s head clears and he starts feeling human again and he lets out a heavy breath. his back aches from leaning against the sink for this long, but his body still feels warm, numb from orgasm and that definitely clouds over the bad.
his eyes are heavy when he opens them, and he feels his breath get caught in his throat when he looks down, because yukhei is still knelt in between his legs, except now he’s jerking himself off, jeans pushed down just far enough to get a hand around his dick. his moans are breathy, high, and he mewls when jaehyun’s hands fall back into his hair, eyes widening as he stares up at him.
“hyung, jaehyun hyung-- ‘m so close,” yukhei moans, and jaehyun doesn’t allow himself time to dwell on how much he likes yukhei calling him hyung in this context, instead dropping down to his knees.
he pushes yukhei’s hand away from his dick, replacing it with his own, and he uses his grip in yukhei’s hair to tilt his head up so they can kiss as he jerks him off.
jaehyun can tell already that yukhei is close. his kisses are frantic, hands pawing at jaehyun’s back as he lets the elder lick into his mouth, and jaehyun hums. he twists his wrist with every upstroke, runs his thumb over his slit and yukhei is like putty underneath him, melting until they can’t kiss anymore, and yukhei leans his head on jaehyun’s shoulder, panting heavily against his neck.
“hyung, please hyung. feels so good, please, please hyung,” yukhei begs and just like last time they fucked, jaehyun is overwhelmed with how submissive yukhei actually is. it’s unbelievably hot, having someone so big weak just from his touch and jaehyun strokes his hand down the back of yukhei’s neck, and speeds up the hand on his dick.
“i got you babe, don’t worry. you can come now, for me. want you to come yukhei,” jaehyun coos, and he’s rewarded almost straight away when yukhei cries out against his neck, and he comes in ropes all over jaehyun’s hand.
compared to jaehyun, yukhei takes considerably less time to come back down to earth, and only a moment passes before he’s lifting his head up, hands sandwiching jaehyun’s cheeks and then he’s pulling him in for a kiss.
it’s different to their other kisses, slower, but still just as deep, and jaehyun chuckles against yukhei’s mouth when he lets out a full body shiver. “don’t laugh at me hyung,” he whines, leaning his head on jaehyun’s shoulder again. jaehyun’s chest warms when yukhei curls further against him.
“i’m not laughing. who said i was laughing?” jaehyun asks, though he can’t stop himself from snickering and yukhei huffs, hitting jaehyun weakly on the arm.
“i just sucked your dick, you should be nicer to me.”
jaehyun laughs again. “if my memory serves me right, you were the one so desperate to get me in the first place. shouldn’t you be the one thanking me for letting you?”
“i’m never sucking your dick ever again,” yukhei mumbles.
it’s a lie and they both know it.
-
after that it becomes a thing.
they meet up at a party and they fuck basically anywhere they can: bathrooms, bedrooms, garages. tonights choice is johnny’s car, left unlocked and parked up in the lot behind the club the rest of their friends are currently inside.
jaehyun grunts as the back of his head hits the window, but he isn’t given time to move because yukhei’s hands are squeezing at his shoulders and then he’s sinking down, not stopping until jaehyun is bottomed out.
“god, fuck-- i swear i’ll never get tired of how good you feel inside of me,” yukhei groans, voice stretching as he rolls his hips slightly and jaehyun hisses, his own hands coming up to hold yukhei’s waist. “fuck me hyung, please. you gotta move.” and so jaehyun does.
he drops one foot down to the footwell and flattens the other on the back seat and then he bucks his hips up, holding yukhei steady as he fucks up into him and yukhei sobs. one of his hands flies up to the car roof, back arching, and as jaehyun watches him, he can’t help but think about how beautiful yukhei looks like this.
even in the dingy lighting of the car park, he’s positively glowing. his cheeks are flushed, his chest red too and the ends of his hair are curling, laying flat against his forehead. jaehyun desperately wants to push them away , to thread a hand through yukhei’s hair and hold on tight, but he knows yukhei is only staying upright because of jaehyun’s grip on his waist, so he holds himself back. instead focuses himself on speeding up his hips.
the leather of the car seat squeaks with every thrust, and jaehyun can feel himself starting to stick, skin sweaty, but yukhei is clenching around him, whining so, so beautifully and jaehyun never wants to stop this.
they end up coming almost at the same time, yukhei shooting all over jaehyun’s chest only a couple seconds before jaehyun’s body jerks and all jaehyun do is hold on when yukhei drops down so that they’re chest to chest, breathing heavy against jaehyun’s neck. it’s unbelievably hot to lay like this, but jaehyun loves getting to see yukhei boneless like this and so he doesn’t move until yukhei does.
“we should do this more often,” yukhei pants when he sits up and jaehyun raises his eyebrows.
“if you mean fucking, i think we do that enough. this is literally the third time this week you’ve had my dick up your ass.”
yukhei snorts at him. “i meant the car sex. just public stuff in general really. the thought of someone watching us, it’s kinda hot,” yukhei clarifies and suddenly jaehyun feels breathless.
“yeah, god yeah we can do more of that,” jaehyun says and the beaming smile yukhei shoots him knocks any remaining air from his lungs.
-
somewhere along the way, jaehyun develops feelings.
he doesn’t really know when it started, couldn’t pinpoint the meeting that pushed him over the edge but he just knows that his heart beats a little too fast when yukhei smiles at him, when their eyes meet across a room. knows that his cheeks flush whenever yukhei grabs his hand, threads their fingers together as they walk to through whatever party they’re at.
and he knows that it’s not healthy, but jaehyun can’t bring himself to end whatever this thing is between them.
it’s been going for almost half a year now, this whole friends with benefits thing, but it’s only in the past month or so that they’ve actually been working on the friends side of things just as much as the benefits.
they meet up for lunch on campus, they study together at the library and they go to costa together when they get too tired to keep reading. where yukhei would normally leave jaehyun’s apartment straight after they fuck, more often than not he stays now. they play video games or binge whatever anime is trending using yuta’s netflix account and eat way too much pizza. and jaehyun really doesn’t wanna ruin that. he doesn’t wanna lose it.
so he keeps quiet, keeps fucking yukhei and pretending they’re nothing but just some friends relieving stress.
and it works.
only for a little while though.
everything kind of comes crashing down on jaehyun when they’re together two weeks later. he’s sat on the sofa in yukhei’s apartment, the younger boy knelt between his legs.
yukhei’s head is leant on his thigh, hand palming jaehyun over his joggers but there’s no urgency, no rush. he’s just entertaining himself whilst jaehyun plays kingdom hearts and it’s comfortable.
at least is until yukhei says the one thing jaehyun really never wanted him to say. “i got a cute boy’s number today.”
his tone is casual, but his eyes are peering up at jaehyun, watching him, and he can tell he’s trying to gage jaehyun’s reaction.
“that’s nice,” jaehyun says back, voice curt. he keeps his eyes on the tv screen, focused on getting sora across the vines successfully. yukhei’s hand stills.
“is it?” he asks, and his tone has jaehyun’s breath catching in his throat.
“yeah, i’m happy for you,” he says back and he tries his hardest to convey any sense of happiness in his voice but to his own ears it just sounds empty.
yukhei though, is seemingly sated, and jaehyun can see him smile, before his hand starts moving again, reaching upwards a little to tug at the waistband of jaehyun’s joggers. “okay good, because he asked me to get coffee with him tomorrow.” and then he’s fisting jaehyun’s cock and running his tongue over the head and jaehyun’s hands clench around his playstation controller.
it’s probably the worst blowjob jaehyun’s ever had, because the whole time yukhei is swallowing around him jaehyun can’t stop thinking about how this relationship they have now has an expiration date.
-
the next couple of weeks pass by in a blur almost.
after his first date with mark, yukhei calls jaehyun up to say that maybe we should stop fucking around, just for the mean time incase this thing he has with mark goes anywhere.
and it makes jaehyun’s chest hurt, eyes stinging with unshed tears, but he says yeah, yeah that’s cool dude . and that’s that.
they stop seeing each other outside of university, jaehyun straying away from parties because he really can’t deal with the thought of running into yukhei, or even worse, yukhei and mark together.
even then, whenever he sees yukhei on campus, all he spares the other boy is a glance, maybe a smile if he’s having an okay day, and then he’s pushing forwards, not giving yukhei time to start a conversation.
it’s weird, going from seeing someone almost every day to not even speaking to them, and it hurts, but it also makes jaehyun realise how little of his other friends he was actually seeing. so he starts hanging out with johnny more, goes over to yuta’s to watch netflix and he says yeah sure when jungwoo asks him if he wants to go to the cinema.
and in his head he’s knows that it’s just a distraction, a tactic to keep his mind from thinking about yukhei, but it’s a good coping mechanism. better than sleeping around or something.
-
this whole thing, him avoiding yukhei comes to a head maybe two months later, when yuta and sicheng decide to throw a joint party for both their birthdays and jaehyun is told in no uncertain terms, that he has has to attend or he’ll face dong sicheng’s wrath. and nobody wants that.
and so he goes, gets himself dressed up and everything. ten even does his makeup and for maybe the first hour or so, jaehyun enjoys himself. lets himself go a little. this is the first party he’s been to since he and yukhei ended their agreement and honestly, this is probably what he needed.
cheap alcohol in red cups and too-loud music and johnny dancing on the table.
and then suddenly yukhei is there. here. stood right in front of jaehyun, blocking his view of johnny and he has the nerve to look hurt when he asks, “hyung, have you been avoiding me?”
jaehyun splutters, chokes on the sip of cider he just took and yukhei’s eyes widen a little, before his expression falls even more. he looks sad, crestfallen, and jaehyun doesn’t think he has any right when he was the one that broke off their little relationship. jaehyun takes another drink from his cup, this one bigger than the last, and then he croaks out, “why would you think that?”
“because this is the first time you’ve even looked me in the eye in like, three months. you haven’t been answering my texts. you stopped coming to parties.”
jaehyun stays silent, partially because he knows that yukhei is right and partially because he’s simultaneously too drunk and not drunk enough to be having this conversation. he’s distracted by yukhei’s lips, his eyelashes and the curl of his hair as it falls onto his forehead. he’s so pretty, so so pretty and as much as he hates to admit it, jaehyun really has missed him.
“you think i’m pretty?” yukhei asks, a small smile gracing his face.
“didn’t mean to say that outloud,” jaehyun hums, looking down into his cup. he swirls it around then chugs the rest of it, before dropping the empty cup onto the table next to him. “hows mark?” he doesn’t want to ask it, but this is how you exchange pleasantries right? you ask about each others boyfriends and pretend that your heart isn’t broken.
at that, yukhei’s face falls again. “he uh- he broke up with me,” he says, and jaehyun is clearly a bad person because he can’t stop the surge of happiness that rises up inside of him.
“oh,” jaehyun says, eloquent as always and an awkward silence falls over them.
the music is still playing, jaehyun can still hear taeil crowing in the background as johnny dances on and the party around them is bustling. but between them, in this small bubble they’ve created, everything feels still. like time itself has stopped because whatever god is watching over them is tired of all the tiptoeing. tired of the unspoken words and the hidden messages and the feelings that have been kept buried, deep down inside.
when yukhei speaks again, almost two minutes have past, and jaehyun really isn’t expecting what he says.
“mark said that he could tell i liked someone else. that i wasn’t good at hiding my feelings. and i thought he was wrong at first, because i thought that i really did like him but then he explained what love feels like and i realised that yes, i did feel that, but not for him.”
jaehyun’s jaw clenches. he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but this is playing out like all those ya romance novels jungwoo used to read when they were kids and if yukhei says what he thinks he’s about to say, then maybe all his time spent pining was worth it.
“it’s you jaehyun. it’s always been you. even before we fucked at that first party, i’d been watching you for a while. you say that i’m pretty, but god hyung, you really are the most handsome person i’ve ever met.”
and there it is. the confession jaehyun has been dreaming of hearing for weeks, months.
“we’re so fucking stupid,” he huffs out, and then he’s grabbing yukhei’s hand and pulling him out of the living room, and up the stairs where he knows the bedrooms will be empty.
nobody else is upstairs, god bless yuta’s strict rules when it comes to parties at his house and so jaehyun wastes no time on pulling them both into one of the bedrooms, probably kun’s given all the girl group posters lining the walls. not that it matters, because jaehyun’s main focus right now is yukhei, whom he pushes up against the bedroom door once he closes it behind them.
he wants to say something, wants to express how much he’s missed having yukhei underneath him like this, but the words die on his tongue when he looks yukhei in the eye, and sees the same urgency that he feels burning inside himself. so instead of talking, he does the next best thing, and he threads a hand through yukhei’s hair before pulling him in for a kiss, hoping to get across all the feelings he couldn’t voice out loud.
they stay close like that for what feels like an eternity, and jaehyun has no grasp of how much time has passed when they part, not like it matters anyway when yukhei is in his arms like this, pressed up underneath with his lips parted so beautifully.
"be mine?"
yukhei smiles at him, soft and sweet, and it has butterflies swirling in jaehyun's tummy knowing that he put that smile on his face.
"i already am, hyung."