Work Text:
It started off as a dream, it was an image that was barely vivid that started plaguing his head. A woman—so graceful, ever so beautiful, like Aphrodite herself gifted this woman with such beauty. It was just a dream, yet now he is standing in the middle of his studio with sculptures of her, from paintings to bust sculptures, with each sculpture her likeness becoming much clearer. It frightened him a bit, on how much time he had spent on making countless of art for one muse, a muse that he had not even met yet.
Ahn Jeongwon told himself that he was not delirious, he was simply putting out art that he deemed—beautiful. He is now in the middle of his grubby art studio, sitting down sweating, as he looks up at his art. His muse, carved in marble half finished, currently wearing a small smile with her hair cascading at her back, with an elegant long-sleeved dress with a square neckline, showing her deep collarbone. To Jeongwon, her facial features were the most striking out of everything, her almond shaped eyes with her high nose bridge and small smile—everything single thing about her was perfect.
“Yah! Ahn Jeongwon—” he was taken out of his thought, “I have been calling you for hours. Why aren’t you responding?” His sister, well half-sister, Chae Song-hwa came to check up on him.
“Oh? I’m sorry, I was just too preoccupied.” He said as he stood up and dusted off his apron. At his full height, his muse was standing at that height too, granted there is an added platform to where he planned her feet would stand on.
“You know, eomma has been very worried about you, your next exhibit is not until next year and yet you are already so preoccupied.” Songhwa went up to her little brother and looked up at the sculpture beside him.
“Although I am curious, where did you manage to find someone like her?” She said pointing at the 6-foot sculpture, as she slowly scrutinized the details.
“I’m really not sure either.” He answered as he fixed his materials.
His sister seemed to not mind his unclear answer, but even if she did, he would not know how to explain how his muse came to be.
“Shall we?” He said as he finally opened the door of his grim studio.
Another day passed and it was evening once again, locked up on his small art studio. This is where he would constantly work and would manage to fall asleep and wake up with an aching back. He is currently sketching other possible sculptures he could do. It has been quite some time since he released an all-sculpture exhibit, and it would be nice if he just sticks with this art. But the problem was the theme, he did not know what the overall theme of his sculptures should be, all that he had done so far was of his muse, the lifeless muse currently standing half-finished in his studio.
It has been months when he first started dreaming about her; and now, constantly, she keeps on coming back every night. She stands there, in the middle of what seems to be a garden, like an actual sculpture—immobile; but her eyes held strength when she stares at him, piercing, as if fully reading what Jeongwon feels every time he sees her. She seems to be speaking to him, as if she fully knows and understand his thoughts and emotions. It should be scaring Jeongwon, and yet it didn’t, her gaze only gave him comfort and soundness. Every single time they would meet, Jeongwon keeps on getting closer and closer to her, and right now he is examining her delicate hands, small yet elegant, she had slim fingers that can fit right into his hands. This is where his dream would typically end, the moment he would finally touch her, he would abruptly wake up, away from his dreams—away from his muse. But not for long, because the moment he would have the chance to continue creating her, he would work nonstop, to finally feel her—and finally bask on her realness.
Ever since he started art, not once had he thought he would be in a situation like this. He is in a bit of a crisis, he just could not stop, every single waking moment all he could think about is completing her; and even when he sleeps his mind welcomes her as he watches her faraway.
It’s frustrating and has been making him quite mad. He currently stepped out of his studio to feel the sun on his skin and stop holding his chisel for a moment. He looks around his place and notices how secluded his studio really was, it used to be an abandoned warehouse that his mother owned just outside of Seoul. He started of his journey as an artist with such minimal support, no one really believed that he could do this, being a dropout medical student and all. They told him that he was good with his hands, but it only applied when he’s holding a scalpel and not a paintbrush. The only person that really believed in him was his family and his friends, it was nice knowing that there are people beside him; but when his first exhibit came out, seemingly a huge success, all of a sudden, he had so many ‘supposed’ friends that was beside him, it was extremely distasteful every single time someone would come up to him and introduce themselves as a friend of his.
His phone managed to cut his thoughts, receiving a notification from his sister asking if he wanted to have lunch with her and her husband; being that he is Ahn Jeongwon, he would never turn down free food. He hastily changed his clothes and went to the place they were eating at.
“Oh! My ex best friend is here!” Lee Ikjun shouted the moment he stepped inside the restaurant.
“Can you please stop calling him that just because he is your brother-in-law now.” Songhwa rolled her eyes as she ushered Jeongwon to sit down.
Jeongwon promptly sat down and looked around the place. It was nice for a change, to look at actual real people, and not just his muse that covered every single area of his art room.
“So, how’s our artist? I heard you’ve been very much occupied.” Ikjun asked as he looks at Jeongwon with a curious face.
He could not answer, he was not sure how to say how obsessed he has been on shaping a person he does not even know, come to life. How could he explain to someone that his room is filled with her image, her beauty, the only thing that has been keeping him sane with all the insanity that he is feeling.
“I think Jeongwon found his next exhibit.” Songhwa luckily answered for him.
“Already?! You just finished one, months ago, and you’re already starting?”
“Isn’t it amazing? And do you know what’s more surprising? He’s finally sculpting again!” Songhwa said with excitement in her eyes as she stuffed her face with food.
Ikjun looked at Jeongwon with concern. He knew of course, Jeongwon knows where it was coming from, he had not had properly slept in a while, and even in his slumber his mind keeps on working and never shuts off; he knows that there are bags under his eyes, he knows he looks tired—but he will not stop until he finishes her, he must—he needs to.
As if reading his mind: “Jeongwon-ah, I think you need to… uhm… take it easy.” Ikjun said.
“He’s right you know, your progress is amazing Jeongwon-ah but, in the span of six months you created three busts of whoever that woman is and now you’re working on a life sized one and it’s almost half done.”
“Woman?”
Without processing his words anymore: “I don’t know what to do. I have been dreaming of her for months now and… I can’t stop. I have gone mad, every single time I am awake she would plague my thoughts, she seems so near yet so out of reach. It bothers me immensely, so I decided to give her life, a stagnant image in my dream come to life. I don’t even know if she’s real, or something…” he tried to whisper but not realizing how he had raised his voice and realizing how little his words really meant.
The couple stopped eating immediately and looked at him. Their eyes are scrutinizing him, making sense of the words he said, but he would not blame them if they did not understand his thoughts, because neither does he.
“Jeongwon-ah, you need to rest.” His sister answered.
“You need to go home, you’ve been staying at that small room for so long, now all you think about is work.”
Maybe that is what he needed, to be away from her, for a while. Just for a while, because he knows that even this time away from his work, she would not be leaving his thoughts.
“Mm… I think your noona is right. Well, eat now and get some rest.” Ikjun added.
Before Jeongwon went home to his more lavish apartment in the city, Ikjun and Songhwa came with him back at his studio to at least get his sketchbook. He practically begged them to at least take him there so he could get some of his materials.
The moment they reached the studio, the sky was not the clear blue that it was, but now merging with the hue of the sun. Jeongwon took the keys and opened the door, he always coughs whenever he enters, that was because he never manages to properly clean the place, so remnants of marble and stone are everywhere, lead scattered on the floor, overall, it looked like a mess.
“Ohh, why is it so dusty here?” His sister asked
“Oh my. Wow. This is… a lot Jeongwon-ah.” Ikjun said as his eyes followed every single art that was covering his walls.
His walls were covered with sketches and half-finished painting of her. Each etched with precise precision of her features, every detail was there, from her light skin to the freckle on her eyes. Everything that he manages to see in his dreams, are all put into paper.
“You even painted her?! How come I didn’t notice that?” His sister said as she slowly approaches one.
The paintings were not out of the ordinary, it was only the exact replica of every part that he would dream off, his current one was her hands—her majestic, elegant hands. But the one his sister was minding the most, was her complete picture. It was the first ever translation he did. He even remembers what happened that day.
It was just a month after his last exhibit, and it was no doubt a resounding success; despite the money he got from the exhibit, he still felt bitter about how people would be so pretentious and speak to him with such flowery words that held no substance. He used to like making art exhibits, especially when he was anonymous; but ever since he came out of the shadows, people would not stop pestering him, it absolutely irritated him. It even went to the point that he threatened his manager (his sister) that he would just become a priest than attend another exhibit full off disgustingly rich people, buying his art because of his fame and not because of the meaning he wishes to deliver. But as always, his sister would manage to calm him down and gave him a compromise.
After a month passed since the event, he was already looking for a model, or just an inspiration for his next exhibit and if it didn’t come, he would just make his threat into a reality. He was not sure of what direction to take, he was in his tiny studio, sketching faces, and things that his mind would conjure. He continued working and without realizing, he fell asleep. And that was the first moment that he met her, she was in the middle of a lush garden, that reminded him of the Garden of Eden. She was standing still with this beautiful black dress, tempting him to go closer, to take a better look of who she was. The closer he got the more vivid she became, but when he would slowly go up to her and finally touch her, he woke up—flustered.
He quickly took his sketchbook and made her, since then she has not left his mind; and slowly made him insane, day by day.
“Jeongwon-ah, I know what you next art exhibit should be entitled.” Ikjun said as he looked at him. While he looked at him with curiosity.
“Embodiment of Winter.”
“Oh, I think I get what you mean.” Songhwa answered.
“How about you Jeongwon-ah, do you get what we mean?” Ikjun asked, and he quickly shook his head no.
“Look at her, her gaze is—discerning. It feels as if she’s reading everything and looking at what my thoughts are about, the moment I focused on her eyes, a shiver automatically went down my spine. I slightly shuddered while looking at her.” His hyung explained.
“I agree, it kind of reminds me of Mona Lisa’s all-seeing eye. You can feel her gaze just looking at me and it gave me goosebumps, even with this painting of her, I can feel the weight of her gaze; and even with her stance and everything, it looks like she has this overall authority. It’s very fascinating.” His sister added.
Jeongwon went straight to his half-finished marble sculpture and looked at her. It bewildered him, how the eyes that seemingly feels daunting, was the one that gave him strength to accomplish all the art he currently has created, she was the one that gave him inspiration to start doing more; her piercing eyes are the ones that comforted him when he felt tired, when he felt like stopping, it was her picture that would save him.
Ikjun slowly went to the sculpture, obviously mesmerized, he began to reach out his hand to touch her. Jeongwon felt incredibly alarmed, this overprotectiveness just pulsed through his body, without realizing he stopped Ikjun’s hand from feeling her.
“Jeongwon-ah…” His sister said with wide eyes
“I’m sorry hyung, but you can’t touch her. She’s not finished yet and I’m worried it might crumble or something.” He tried to reason out as he let go of his hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I guess this is why guests aren’t allowed to touch paintings at museums.” Ikjun answered, flustered with his action.
The air was thick, and the silence was palpable. He was not sure what went over him, clearly Ikjun only wanted a closer look, but he could not—not unless Jeongwon had finished her. No other person can ponder on her beauty before him.
“Let’s go home.” Songhwa broke the silence as she opened the door.
They eventually got what he needed, and immediately went home for Jeongwon’s much-needed rest.
-A year and a half later-
It was finally the day of his exhibit, and he was beyond nervous. His sister told him that she planned a small gathering and none of them are the same people that attended his past exhibits. This exhibit was a bit different since he ended up putting every art piece he managed to finish in this exhibit, with the centerpiece of his muse fully carved in marble; and he explicitly said that he was not interested in selling any of the art he had made.
Despite not being interested in making a profit, his sister still said that someone was interested, and she knows that he would give in, which he highly doubted.
There was suddenly a knock on the door.
“Are you ready? The guests are here.” Songhwa went inside the room and looked at him.
“All your hard work is now outside. People have been looking at them, seemingly mesmerized. Though I doubt not as mesmerized as you.”
Jeongwon looked at her, raising his brows.
“Come on Jeongwon-ah, I am your sister, I know exactly how you managed to do all of this. To create this much art for one single woman that you haven’t even met. You are like a real-life Pygmalion.”
She ushered him outside as he slowly pats his back and said, “Now look at your Galatea and see how people looks at her.”
Jeongwon went in the art exhibit, it was a relatively small room but managed to be filled with his art. It reminded him of his studio, but only if it was tidy and neat. He looks around and saw her, her image and other people looking at her. People get to finally bask on her beauty and see how this woman had managed to change him in some way. His dreams about her continued, but the moment he finished his final sculpture, the images suddenly stopped. She would not come even if he slept more than what he used to. Oddly enough, he misses the times when he would look at her every night and make her true to life in the morning—yet it is finished. All of her is now out for everyone to see.
His thoughts were cut short when: “Jeongwon-ah, would you like me to introduce you to one of the bidders?”
“I told you noona, I am not interested.”
“Jeongwon-ah, just talk to her I’m certain that you might reconsider.”
He sighed, then shook his head yes which made Songhwa incredibly excited. She told him to wait for a while and went away. He was looking at the center piece, eye-to-eye, when someone tap his back.
“Jeongwon-ah meet...”
He looked at his back then seemingly froze. She is here. Living, breathing, and smiling at him. It suddenly brought him back to his dreams—she is actually here. She looks just as elegant, and just as beautiful as how he saw her before. It felt unreal, the person that used to stand still was now beaming at him, the eyes that use to be lifeless now full of sunshine in front of him. It was as his centerpiece went to life. She is here, wearing the exact same clothes that he has been dreaming of for so long. She really is here holding out her hand towards him, waiting for a response.
“Maybe I should have been more discreet. Annyeonghaseyo, it’s me Jang Gyeoul, we finally meet.”