Chapter Text
The sound of chattering filled the room as Sizhui entered the classroom. A smile bloomed on his face and he let out a short breath. His steps were light and his shoulders weren't as tense anymore. It was a few months into his time at junior high and he had easily adapted to the new environment, something he hadn't really expected. The new teachers seemed nice and his classmates weren't as scary as before. He had pretty much started to blend into the environment.
He wasn't the best at getting close to new people, so meeting others scared him. He was always kind to others, but he had never been an interesting person, which made it difficult for him to connect with people.
Well, at least he thought so. Jingyi, his best friend disagreed everytime he stated this. They had known each other for years. They went to the same elementary school and had been best friends since then. They were as good as glued to each other. He actually ended up in the same class as him, which was a huge relief for him. Sizhui couldn’t imagine how it would go if he ended up alone in a new class. A class with a bunch of strangers. A bunch of new faces.
Sizhui glanced towards the back of the room. Three boys sat there, chatting about who knows what. He would’ve never imagined this, but Jingyi and him ended up getting two new friends from their class. Now Ouyang Zizhen and Jin Ling had completed their little group. They had met at the start of the semester and had begun to hang out after that.
Sizhui was suddenly thrown out of his thoughts by a familiar voice.“ Sizhui, there you are! I was wondering why you hadn’t shown up yet,” Jingyi beamed at him.
Sizhui sighed as he explained, “My bus never showed up so I had to take the next one.”
Jin Ling crossed his arms and glared at him. “Ok, but why are you still standing? Come over here. The class is starting soon.”
Sizhui wandered to where his friends sat. He seated himself next to Zizhen and hung his bag on the chair he sat on.
“The class starts in five minutes. Chill down, young mistress,” Jingyi teased.
Jin Ling stood up in anger, giving Jingyi a death stare. You could almost see smoke come out of his ears. “When will you stop calling me that?! I’m not-”
“It’s 8 am! My poor ears... Please stop fighting,” Zizhen begged, putting his face in his hands.
“Ok, ok. I will stop teasing the mistress,” Jingyi rolled his eyes.
“YOU-”
Sizhui knew they would never stop unless this conversation was broken off. He was way too tired for this. “Uh, what class do we start with today?” He questioned even though he already knew the answer.
“Aren’t you the one who usually knows this? We always start with history classes with Mr. Lan on Mondays,” Jingyi stated. He threw his legs off the table and leaned on his elbow. Sizhui just smiled at him awkwardly.
“Honestly, I love history classes with Mr. Lan. They're so much interesting than before. I used to fall asleep in history class when I was in elementary school. That shit was boring as hell!” Zizhen whined. “The teacher was so shitty too…"
Jingyi glanced upon him. “Oh, really? That must’ve sucked. Well at least Mr. Lan is better. I think he’s ok so far. We’ve only had him for a few months though, so I don’t know,” he sighed.
He wrinkled his nose as he continued, “Maybe he will turn out to be one of those scary teachers once he gets used to us? What if he turns out to be one of those homophobic conservative men who drink kids tears!?”
Jin Ling gave him a disgusted look. Lines formed on his forehead. “Mr. Lan??? Are you fucking kidding with me? How did you even come to that conclusion? He doesn’t seem like that kind of person.”
“Yeah, but you never know!” He threw his arm out, dramatizing his words. “What if he steals candy from children for fun? He might also be super homophobic, but we just don’t know it. Wait, why are you guys staring at me-”
“I might be what now?”
“.....”
Jingyi felt shivers go down his back as he slowly turned his head around. Lan Wangji stood there with a face filled with an offended expression. His eyes were narrowed and his nose was wrinkled. His stare was sharp as a blade, ready to be used.
Holy fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mr. Lan more expressful than this , Jingyi thought. His hands were clammy and his heartbeat sped up in fear.
Lan Wangji stared at Jingyi for something that felt like ages, when he finally remembered why he came over in the first place. He blurted out his original intentions.
“...Sizhui, I would like to discuss something with you after class if that’s possible.”
Sizhui looked back and forth between Lan Wangji and Jingyi. He was very confused, but agreed anyway. “Sure. That works for me.”
“Mn. Jingyi, I would like to talk to you about what you just stated, but we can discuss that on another day.” His gaze sharpened and his head tilted to the side. Eventually Lan Wangji walked away, leaving the teenagers shocked.
As Lan Wangji got ready to start the class, Jingyi whispered. “Ok, I take back everything I just said. I’m pretty sure I was wrong…”
“You realized that just now?” Zizhen yelped. He snorted to himself as he turned around.
Jingyi buried his face in his hands. “I really fucked up. Damn..”
Jin Ling stretched out his arms as he yawned. “I can’t believe we’re just done with one class,” he cried out. I’m way too tired for school.”
Zizhen gathered his books as he replied, “Same… Mondays are horrible. I’m always so exhausted then.”
Sizhui chuckled as he asked, “Didn’t you stay up till 2 am because you were playing a game?”
“Not my fault that the game was so good!”
He rolled his eyes. His friends weren’t exactly the brightest stars in the sky. Suddenly he heard someone call his name from behind.
“Sizhui.”
He turned around and looked at the person in front of him. “Oh, Mr. Lan! You said you wanted to discuss something, right?”
“Mn. Come with me.” Lan wangji stated. He stepped out of the classroom and walked down the corridor with Sizhui following right behind him. The corridor was filled with chatter and laughter. The area was crowded. Everyone was on their way out of the classrooms and on their way to the next class.
After walking down the hall for some time, they eventually reached a door. Lan Wangji pushed it open and looked at Sizhui, signalizing that he was supposed to enter.
Their surroundings turned quiet once the door was shut. Sizhui was starting to get nervous. His heart was beating rapidly. He had always been a good student, so he couldn’t imagine what this might be about. Had he done something wrong without knowing it? Had something bad happened? Was he in trouble? Sizhui could still not figure out what this was about.
After some consideration, Sizhui broke the silence. “I’m uh- a little bit confused. Have I done anything wrong?”
Lan Wangji briefly looked at him as he say down. “You do not have to worry. I want to discuss something related to the parent-teacher conference this week.”
Sizhui let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “What about it?”
“Have you talked to your guardian about our meeting?”
“Yes. My dad and I are coming. It’s on Wednesday, right? 17:30? ” Sizhui answered.
Lan Wangji pulled out his laptop and began to write. “Mn. I was going to directly contact your parent, but I could not find their contact information.”
Sizhui wasn’t exactly surprised. “He must’ve forgotten to send in his information. It sounds like something he could’ve done,” he smiled.
Lan Wangji was still tapping on the keyboard as he continued, “Then we’ll have to fix that. We need to have the info saved for emergencies and school events. What is your dad’s name?”
“His name is Wei Ying.”
“.........”
Lan wangji froze up. His fingers stopped moving and he appeared deathly pale. It was almost as if he had just seen a ghost. Sizhui stared at him, waiting for him to say something. The silence was deafening. Sizhui could feel the heavy air creep up on him. He wasn’t sure what had just happened.
“....Wei Ying you said?” he finally replied. Sizhui couldn’t read his expression. “Yes. His name is Wei Ying.”
“Do you happen to… have another name?” Lan Wangji asked. His voice was shaking.
Sizhui fiddled with the bottom of his shirt as he mumbled, “Uh yes… My birth name is Wei Yuan, but I mostly use Sizhui when I’m at school and with friends. Why did you ask?”
Lan Wangji sighed. His shoulders were tense.“I knew your father when I was younger. We used to be-” A hint of sorrow fell upon his face, but disappeared as fast as it had arrived. “We used to be friends... Wei Ying introduced you to me when you were a baby. That is why I asked.”
“Wait… You said, ‘Used to be friends’?” Sizhui frowned and his hands stopped up.
Lan Wangji gazed out the window. The light made his eyes shine, making it appear as if he had tears in his eyes. “Something happened and we fell out of touch.” He had a pained expression. He was about to say something before he stopped himself.
Sizhui felt his stomach drop. He had never seen his teacher look so sad before. Something bad must've happened for him to look so pained.
Suddenly Lan Wangji stated, “Maybe you should ask your other parent to come with you instead of your dad. We ended on… bad terms. He probably does not want to see me. I do not want to make him uncomfortable.”
Sizhui felt the awkward air creep up his back for a moment. “I don’t have another parent. It’s just me and my dad. Should I still bring him?” Sizhui wondered.
Lan Wangji was still for a few moments. It looked like he was considering the outcomes of the possible events. In the end, he finally spoke, “Mn. You can inform your dad about the situation. If he is comfortable with seeing me, then it is fine.”
“Ok,” he said. The room turned quiet once again. Sizhui waited for Lan Wangji to signal something. Hint that he should leave or hint for him to wait, but instead they just sat there. Lan Wangji was staring off into the air as if he just lost his soul. Maybe he had? Maybe the shock from this new knowledge had killed him? He didn’t want to be guilty for his teacher’s death, Sizhui thought. That would never end well.
Sizhui began to worry. Was he having a silent heart attack or something? Did he go into hibernation? He wanted to reach out to check for a second, when Lan Wangji’s eyes suddenly looked straight at him
“Is…” Lan Wangji furrowed his brows, as if he was reconsidering asking. He let out a sigh before he continued. “How is he doing? Is he… happy?”
Sizhui was surprised by the question. He didn’t expect him to ask that, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Since they were friends in the past, it was only natural that he asked how he was doing after all these years.
“He’s doing ok, I guess. That’s what he says at least.” Lan Wangji gave him a conflicted gaze. He almost seemed sad from the reply, he thought.
He continued, “I’m not sure if he is happy though. He claims he is, but I’ve always had a feeling that something is bothering him. It’s like he’s constantly carrying weights on his shoulders, but he doesn’t want anyone to share his burdens,” Sizhui said while lowering his head.
“Wei Ying has always been like that. He never wants to bother others with his problems. He doesn’t want to be a burden,” Lan Wangji muttered while shaking his head. His brows furrowed even more.
“Yeah, seems about right,” Sizhui sighed. “You must’ve known him well.”
“... Mn, I did.” Lan Wangji peeked at the clock hanging on the gray wall. He closed his eyes briefly as he said, “The next class begins in a few minutes. You should get going.”
Sizhui smiled awkwardly at him and chuckled, “Ah, I almost forgot about that! I should get going then.”
Sizhui walked towards the door, but just as he grabbed the door knob, Lan Wangji added, “I’m glad to see you doing well after all these years, A-Yuan.”
His voice sounded so pained, but Sizhi couldn’t tell why. There was something so familiar with the way he referred to him, but he couldn’t put a word on it. He wanted to ask, but in the end he just replied, “Thank you.”
After the meeting, his friends pestered him with questions. At last, he only told them that it was related to the parent-teacher conference. He had an urge to tell them about everything else, but he didn’t know where to start. He was almost sure that the event was a nostalgic dream. It just felt like the past was creeping upon him. Felt unreal. Felt weird. This made him nauseous. He wanted to go home, but how come it felt like something was missing from it?
That afternoon, Sizhui wanted to talk to his father about his conversation with Mr. Lan, but ultimately didn’t. He didn’t know how to bring it up. He didn’t know how he’d react and he hated it. He didn’t want to see him upset. What if he made him upset by bringing up an old friend?
The conversation with Mr. Lan played through his head again.
Maybe you should ask your other parent to come with you instead of your dad. We ended on… bad terms. He probably does not want to see me. I do not want to make him uncomfortable.
What in the world could’ve happened? They hadn’t talked in so many years. What could’ve caused that?