Chapter Text
60.
60 days.
60 days in this cell. The man with the glasses came back, without Ymir. Ymir said she was doing it for Historia.
“Don’t give in to them, be strong. Live for yourself.”
That’s what she said before she left. Where did they take her? Reiner and Bertholdt don’t answer, they never have, they only look more guilty with each passing day.
Hate.
She hates them.
They crushed Wall Maria, killing her parents, and thousands more.
The Colossal, the Armored.
Her name is Sirin Ostergaard, she graduated from the 104th Southern Division Corps and she was a member of the Survey Corps with a Titan kill count of 15. Yet, she is dead to her comrades, she hasn’t been seen since she flew away to save the Scouts from encroaching Titans.
She has to remind herself daily.
And now she is here. A tiny cell beneath a brick barn home that the Titans do not disturb within Wall Maria, with her enemies, those she hates more than anything.
The moment she woke up is branded in her memory.
The brick wall, the hardened dirt beneath her, then a door shuts suddenly. Sirin jolts up, she can feel her ODM gear is missing, her boots were tossed into the corner and her Survey Corps jacket is gone. Her long dark brown hair is no longer tied up, it hangs heavily, and her left eye throbs. She turns to see who made the sudden noise.
Bertholdt. He’s holding a cup of water.
She cannot find words to say to him, her tongue weighs heavy with her hatred.
He steps forward and places the cup on the ground just within her reach, then he places a shallow bowl next to it.
“For your eye. You still have to wash it right,” He says, he doesn’t look at her when he speaks.
“Why am I here.”
Bertholdt doesn’t reply, he pours the water into the bowl and then slides it towards her again.
“Answer me, Colossal Titan.”
He doesn’t. He walks away and closes the door behind him.
Sirin eventually takes the water, lifts her left eyepatch, and gently washes her eye. A rock gouged it out during the fight against Annie’s Titan, Hanji told her to wash it daily for two weeks.
Hanji. She hopes they’re ok.
Two days passed. Sirin woke up one night, she could hear them talking outside her door.
“Why did… her… ke?”
Reiner’s voice.
“Could… elp… tack on… Sina.”
She doesn’t know that voice.
“When… mir… back to… ly?”
Bertholdt.
“...morrow.”
Ymir was gone the next day.
20 days.
She thought she was having a nightmare when the truth came to her, the memories of the Fritz family, the truth of her home. She screamed and cried, it made her head pound out of her skull.
Reiner came running in, she would’ve felt comfort from that at one point, but it made her feel worse seeing his face. The Armored Titan. She fell over in pain, everything she was seeing felt so vivid, she felt the pain.
They only watched as she writhed in pain, falling silent when it was over. She looked back to see Reiner silently watching her with guilt-ridden eyes.
2 months.
The man she didn’t know came back, Ymir wasn’t with him. She felt the ground shake like there were Titans outside, she could feel the heat from a dying Titan on the dirt.
Then, the man she didn’t know finally spoke to her.
“Sirin Ostergaard, correct?” He says. He had blonde hair, a beard, and glasses. He spoke as if he pitied her. She hated it.
She stared back, wiping dirt off her cheek. She knew she was filthy.
Reiner walked in with Bertholdt, he was emanating steam, he must’ve just transformed.
“Answer him,” Bertholdt said firmly. It wasn’t intimidating.
“Yes,” Sirin said finally. “Who are you.”
“I’m Zeke Yeager. I’m the one who saved you from that pack of Titans 2 months ago.”
“Why.”
“I felt compelled to, I’ve consulted your old friends here and they’ve said you’re an incredibly skilled soldier, as well as a member of the Survey Corps.”
Sirin blinked.
“What is their strategy?” Zeke asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do,” Reiner spat. “You went on missions with Levi often, I know you did.”
Sirin looked away from him, she told Reiner that willingly before. She was excited and bragging, she thought he would congratulate her and he did. She hates him.
“Levi is the soldier that I need to be wary of, correct?”
“What are you going to do…?”
“We’re getting the Founding Titan back,” Reiner says. “Whatever the Survey Corps does is out of our control.”
Sirin glared, “Go and die then. I hope you all rot in hell for what you’ve done!!”
Bertholdt looked away, “Is this what we held onto her for? Reiner and I know their major strategy that Erwin Smith came up with.”
“You weren’t as trusted as she was,” Zeke said, he clearly has made up his mind. “Now, either you tell us something, or I’ll just turn you into a Titan and let you go.”
Sirin recoiled a little, she’d rather die than be a Titan, a mindless monster that consumes to consume destroys just to destroy.
“Why don’t you just kill me? Titans are unreliable and how would you even-”
“I can command Titans,” Zeke answered simply. “I can turn you into a Titan with a simple action, it’s in your genes.”
Sirin remembered Ragako Village and the sudden Titans that appeared in Wall Rose despite it not being breached.
“Killing you would be a waste, now tell me, what would you think the Survey Corps strategy would be in a frontal assault?”
Sirin pulled into herself, her guts were twisting, she can’t betray her friends, her only family left, but to be a Titan… She bit her lip.
“... They… would lead with Eren’s titan… and distract with him while the corps attacked from either side,” Sirin drew the battle on the ground in the dirt. “That’s… what I think anyway.”
Sirin worked on that plan to show Erwin, she wanted to impress him with it, but she never got the chance. Erwin probably would’ve seen a hundred holes in the plan, but it was the best lie she had.
Zeke smiled, “See? Was that so hard.”
Bertholdt watched Zeke turn and begin to leave the room before asking, “Are we really just going to believe whatever she says just like that?”
Zeke turned slightly, “Of course not. But, there’s a piece of truth in every lie, and that was no different.”
Sirin glared as they slowly all left the room, Reiner closing the door behind them.
That Zeke man… was clearly smart, but he wouldn’t be able to know how much of what Sirin said was a lie and what was the truth. All she could do was pray that he got it wrong and that her friends were going to be ok.
That night she felt the earth rumble again. She woke up scared, as the earth shakes became increasingly violent, there were titans coming closer. She continually rammed her body against the steel, kicking at the bars desperately trying to get out of wherever she was trapped.
The roof collapsed, and Sirin’s mind went blank.
She dreamed that she was being carried away from an island in a swamp by a strong current, the water was thick with mud and reeds. Sirin struggled against the water, the reeds caught her ankles and she began to drown, the wind was kicking up. She wailed through the water in her lungs, her hands reaching for something that wasn't there, but for a second she felt the strong wind against her fingertips. She felt the wind passing through her body as she flew across her home in Wall Rose with the ODM gear, and she reached again.
And the wind took her hand.