Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Stepping out onto the street and into the biting November air, Wille wished, not for the first time that day and likely not for the last, that he could be anywhere else on the planet other than here. On a street corner in Stockholm outside of his therapist’s office, puffy-eyed and drained. He wished he could be floating aimlessly on a boat in the middle of the sea, somewhere warm and sunny. Not a soul around to question or judge him. Or to break his heart and throw him to the wolves of public scrutiny.

He supposed, though, that he might be lonely all on his own. And was that not the entire crux of his problem now? He was terribly, achingly, desperately lonely.

He felt miserable. Wille liked his therapist well enough, and he knew everything they discussed was good for him. Still, sometimes Wille just wanted to vent without having to dig into the why of it all. He knew everything they talked about already. It was just so much easier for Wille to repress it all.

He did want to be better about all that, though, and he did want to work on himself. Just not tonight. Tonight he needed something that felt more familiar to him. He needed some semblance of normalcy, something in his regular routine that he could cling to when everything else seemed so uprooted. He needed Simon.

Wille crawled into the backseat of the car that was waiting for him outside, immediately leaning in to fish through the center console to pull out a pack of tissues. He hated that he cried so much in front of his therapist. He felt so vulnerable, opening up to someone like that. But it was good, it was healthy, and he was right to keep going. Even if he felt like absolute shit after.

“Going home, Wilhelm?” Jakob questioned, turning around from the front seat to look at Wille. He had that look on his face that Wille hated. Jakob could clearly see that Wille had been crying and was looking at him with some sort of mix between disinterest and pity. No, Wille didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to have to ruminate on his own thoughts for another moment.

“Can you hold on a sec?” Wille asked, shimmying in his seat to get the right angle to be able to pull his phone out of his back pocket. “I just need to check something.”

Wille opened his most recent text thread and started to tap out a message to Simon. He needed to figure out his plan for the rest of the evening. Ideally, a plan that did not involve another sleepless night feeling too small in his king-sized bed.

Simon still had another hour or so of work left, but Wille was fairly positive that this close to the end of his day, Simon would have his phone handy.

(6:09 PM)
you free tonight??

(6:10)
Yeah, whats up

Wille smiled at his phone when it lit up not even a full minute after his initial message, immensely pleased that he knew his best friend’s schedule so well that he could predict when he’d be around to immediately respond to his texts.

(6:11)
Geronimo’s? i need to drown my sorrows in tequila

(6:11)
it’s monday

(6:12)
my sorrows are not going to wait until tomorrow simon my sorrows are thirsty now

(6:12)
you’re buying?

(6:12)
don’t I always?

(6:13)
could use a metric ton of salsa right now, ngl

Wille felt a flood of relief at Simon’s acceptance of his change in plans for the evening. Both of them busier than ever with their adult lives, their weekly Taco Tuesday rendezvous at Geronimo’s FGT in Gamla Stan was sometimes the only time they really got to spend with one another. Seeing Simon twice in one week was a precious rarity.

(6:13)
8?

(6:13)
can we do 8:30? Bus is running late (shocker, i know)

(6:13)
I suppose
(6:14)
i’ll still go at 8 to get a head start on the margs

Finally looking up from his phone, Wille glanced back up to Jakob. He was tremendously patient while Wille was ironing out the details of his plan, not even tapping loudly on the steering wheel or whistling or anything (this time).

“Could you take me to Kungliga slottet, please?” Wille requested. “I’m meeting Simon at Geronimo’s this evening, so I’ll just kill a little time there.”

“Sure thing, Wilhelm,” Jakob nodded, a glimmer of a knowing smile on his lips, and started to drive away.

Looking back down at his phone, Wille exhaled slowly as he read Simon’s short response.

(6:17)
That bad?

(6:17)
A bit

(6:19)
Take it easy okay ill be there asap

• ────── ✾ ────── •

Wille closed his eyes, letting the chatter of the increasingly busy bar drown out any voices in his head that were threatening to break through the walls that he had been working very hard to build up. The background noise was welcome — something about the almost anonymity of existing as one among many was strangely comforting in this moment.

Being a regular at a fairly inconspicuous bar and restaurant in Stockholm while also being a highly publicized Crown Prince was something Wille was grateful worked out as well as it did. When Wille and Simon had first started to meet up at Geronimo’s back when Simon was still in uni, Wille did tend to draw a bit of attention. It was fairly obvious to everyone why Tuesdays at Geronimo’s were so crazy, and it wasn’t just because of the 40 kr tacos.

The novelty wore off pretty quickly, though. Wille usually had a member of his security team with them whose job was to keep reporters and disrespectful bar patrons at bay, although these days, no one really cared, and most people in Geronimo’s on Tuesday nights were regulars themselves.

But tonight? Tonight was a Monday night. And he felt the curious eyes on him like blow darts to the neck.

Wille sucked at his straw until every last drop had been consumed. Despite that, he kept at it, attempting more through the bits of air that bubbled through the thin plastic in the process.

“Another?”

Wille glanced up at the voice, not yet detaching his lips from his drink. Mikael was looking down at him from across the bar with that tired look of judgment Wille was too often on the receiving end of.

“Yes please.”

Mikael scoffed, unamused. Grabbing Wille’s empty cup from him and placing it in the bus bin, Mikael immediately set to work making Wille another.

Despite being wholly unimpressed by Wille’s title and always being the first to give Wille shit, Mikael was always good to him. It all came from a place of caring. After seeing each other nearly every Tuesday night for the past five years, Wille would almost venture to call them friends. Well. Wille would call Mikael his friend. Mikael would consider Wille the sole reason he believed that he was underpaid.

Placing a second margarita in front of Wille, Mikael sighed loudly, a gruff and over-dramatic sigh unique to Mikael.

“Actually, is there any way I can convince you just to bring me the bottle?”

“No. Frankly, I don’t want to deal with peeling Tequila Wille off the floor at closing today. And you know Simon would kill me,” Mikael huffed out a singular laugh through his nose. Wille nodded slowly in agreement. Mikael knew better than to let Wille drink too much, but on the rare occasion he did let it happen, the wrath of over-protective-Simon was a force to be reckoned with far stronger than any mischief Wille could drum up. “Speaking of… where is he tonight?”

“Supposedly on his way,” Wille sighed.

“Bus?”

“Mmm,” Wille hummed the affirmative.

“What brings you lot here on a Monday, anyway?” Mikael asked, his tone layered in such a way that Wille could see right through it. It was the kind of leading question asked by someone who just wants to make conversation, neatly wrapped in a tone crafted to appear nonchalant. But the careful phrasing didn't quite mask a weighty undercurrent, revealing that the someone who is asking actually cares a great deal. Mikael knew something was up. He always knew.

“Therapist told me too many correct things in a row that I didn’t want to hear, so I need to eat my feelings. And drink them.”

“Sorry I asked.”

“It’s just. It’s so hard to be alone, you know? I get so dependent on having someone, and then when I don’t have someone, it’s like. Terrible. It’s not even really about Sage anymore. I just miss there physically being someone around. But the problem is… to start all over again? To have to find someone that ticks all the boxes and to have to redo the whole ‘getting to know you’ bit? It’s so much. And then to make everything all the more complicated, I come with baggage: stupid royal baggage, and a lot of it. So on top of everything else that is impossible when it comes to reentering the dating pool, I need to be sure that whoever I’m seeing is seeing me as me, and not someone who just so happens to be next in line for the throne.

“And then of course there’s my parents. Like. Yeah, they never really liked Sage. God knows they had a laundry list of problems with them… But at least they weren’t hounding me about settling down while I was in a public relationship. I’ve been single for what? Three, maybe four weeks? And my mamma is already sending me the contact information for rich women from respectable families. It’s the way she is focusing so solely on having my next public relationship be so clean-cut. To treat my whole relationship with Sage as a phase, erasing all the progress we made together. It’s bullshit.

“I definitely don’t want anything to do with Sage anymore, though, so it’s not that. I just miss feeling close to someone. Dating is so complicated and heartbreak hurts and I just wish I could be with somebody I trust without having it be a whole… thing. I’m tired, Mikael. I’m so tired.”

Mikael frowned at Wille and nodded his head slowly before pointing a thumb over his shoulder. “Table eight needs to order.”

“Right.”

Wille returned his focus to his margarita with a sigh.

After what felt like a small eternity, a familiar face squeezed its way through the growing crowd and met Wille’s gaze.

In that first instant of eye contact, Wille felt Simon size him up. As much as Wille had been trying to keep his expression fairly neutral in order to not draw any attention, Simon was different. Simon had a knack for knocking down any wall that Wille attempted to put up. So while he wasn’t actually openly sobbing in the middle of the bar, as far as Simon was concerned, he might as well have been.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Wille drawled, hoping his voice didn’t sound nearly as dismal as he felt.

Simon rolled his eyes, sliding easily into the seat beside Wille. “Sorry, the bus took forever.”

Getting Simon anywhere on time was a constant struggle. Wille swore that man lived with an alternate timeline in his mind. And that was before factoring in his insistence to rely on famously unreliable public transportation.

“One of these days, you’ll have to let me just call you an uber,” Wille pleaded.

“Absolutely not,” Simon replied, the refusal coming far too easily after being used for the umpteenth time.

“So you’ll let me buy you dinner every Tuesday, but you won’t let me pitch in to ensure you show up on time?” Wille pointed out. It was a good argument, but one he knew would never get them anywhere with Simon. Simon was too… Simon. He always knew what he wanted, and he was stubborn as hell.

“Exactly,” Simon smiled.

“I hate you, Simon. I really do.”

“No, you don’t. You need me.”

This wasn’t a fight Wille was ever going to win. And with that look on Simon’s face, smug and self-assured, but with that teasing affection the two of them have developed so well over ten years of friendship, Wille wasn’t even going to try.

“I need you on time.”

Simon was about to respond when Mikael approached the bar again, Simon’s go-to ginger beer already in hand. He slid Simon’s drink over with a warm smile on his lips. Wille never got that smile — it was reserved especially for Simon. Mikael actually liked Simon. He simply put up with Wille. Maybe this would annoy Wille more if he didn’t see where Mikael was coming from so clearly. Simon was a walking, talking ray of sunshine. Who wouldn’t be obsessed with him?

“You’re late, Simon.”

“Really? You too, Mikael? I’m not that late,” Simon protested, an ear-to-ear grin betraying the fact that he didn’t care in the slightest that he was late and was in fact enjoying the teasing.

“I’m the one who has to deal with the royal puppy dog eyes when you’re not here,” Mikael pointed a thumb at Wille. “I simply don’t get paid enough.”

“Wille!” Simon scolded, turning to face Wille head-on. “Mikael is so good to us. Why must you torture him so?”

“I didn’t do anything! I was just making conversation!” Wille exclaimed, although the protest went ignored as Mikael leaned in to direct a comment to Simon.

“You know, I told him years ago that Sage kid was no good.”

It was true. Wille hated that it was true.

It wasn’t terribly often that Simon and Wille would invite others to Taco Tuesday, but it happened on occasion. Some dinner guests were more welcomed by Mikael than others. For example, Mikael adored Felice and would constantly ask the boys when she would be back in town. In contrast, though, it didn’t take very long for Rosh and Ayub to be banned from Geronimo’s altogether.

In the four years that Wille and Sage were an item, Sage had made their fair share of Taco Tuesday appearances. Wille had always thought they had gone fine. Sage and Simon were never particularly close friends, but they had enough in common that they could carry a conversation well enough, or at least with Wille’s help. Afterward, Sage would always tell Wille how much they liked the atmosphere of the restaurant and that they understood why Wille kept going back there. All positive experiences, for the most part.

Mikael, however, made his feelings known about Sage almost immediately. If nothing else, Mikael certainly knew how to judge a character. Wille had never been sure if his judgments were necessarily accurate, but without a doubt, Mikael had conviction. The Tuesday after Wille and Simon would introduce someone to him, Mikael would have no qualms when it came to telling the pair exactly how he felt about their new dinner guest.

It was a blessing and a curse. Simon certainly found Mikael’s input useful. Simon had broken it off with several exes after they failed to win over Mikael.

Wille remembered what Mikael had said the next week after Sage’s first Taco Tuesday. It was over three years ago now. He had looked Wille in the eye and said, “That Paprika person is going to break your heart, kiddo. They’re in it for all the wrong reasons”. Back then, Wille had dismissed Mikael’s warning instantly. He couldn’t even remember their name, after all.

After that, the comments about “Paprika” didn’t stop. When Wille and Sage went public with their relationship, Mikael toned down the teasing, because he knew how difficult the whole ordeal was for Wille, but he still made his feelings known. But by the time things started going south with Sage, even Simon started calling them “Paprika”. Everything Mikael had said had turned out to be right, of course. As much as Wille hated to admit it.

“Maybe you should be my therapist, then,” Wille grumbled. Mikael responded with a loud, full-belly laugh.

“There is no amount you could pay me that would make me willing to take that on.”

Wille opened his mouth to protest, but Simon interjected, his voice filled with the same laughter that still shook Mikael’s body.

“Try being his best friend for a decade, Mikael. For free.”

“Better you than me, Simon,” Mikael said, and Wille did his best to scowl at the two of them with all the venom he could muster.

Simon shrugged. “At least I get free tacos out of it.”

“Speaking of,” Mikael started to turn his focus to Wille, the moment of teasing laughter subsiding to his usual unimpressed glare. “I want to make sure you are aware that today is not Tuesday. Your tacos are going to be full price.”

“Even though I’m sad, Mikael?” Wille questioned with an overdrawn pout. Not that the cost of the tacos really mattered. It was just the principle of the thing. Simon and Wille practically financed the place at this point. The least Mikael could do would be to thank him with some sympathy tacos.

Still, Wille knew better. The royal puppy dog eyes were useless on Mikael. Wasn’t going to stop him from giving it the old college try, though.

“Especially because you are sad,” Mikael droned. Wille began to bat his eyelashes, deepening his pout. He was moments away from saying ‘pwease’ when Mikael grabbed the drink menu off the countertop and bopped Wille on the head with it. “Quit it with the eyes, Wilhelm. I mean it. Watch it or I’ll charge you double.”

“Charge him triple and buy yourself something nice,” Simon teased, and Wille took a moment to wonder why he thought this would cheer him up in the first place.

Mikael let out a huff of laughter before he rolled his eyes at Wille and walked away to tend to other patrons at the bar. Wille was then left alone with Simon, who was looking at him again in the same way he did when he first walked into Geronimo’s. Something about being best friends for over a decade meant that Simon knew Wille very well. Arguably too well. A glance at Wille like this and Simon could practically rattle off Wille’s entire internal monologue.

When it wasn’t exhausting, it was a great comfort.

“Wille, seriously,” Simon started, voice low. His genuine concern voice. “What’s wrong?”

Wille sighed, pausing to take a sizable sip of his house margarita. His whole brain was a tangled mess. Feeling as drained as he was, he had half a mind to let the whole thing pass by. He started to say as much… “Nothing. I’m fine.”

But Simon knew better. Wille knew better.

“No, you are very much not fine. You dragged me to Geronimo’s on a Monday.”

Wille looked at Simon for a long moment. Simon was watching him, inquisitive, sympathetic, and patient. Lost in the mountains and valleys of Simon’s stare, formed of only the very best intentions, Wille knew there was no way he was going to get out of this without talking about what was bothering him.

He relented with a pained exhale. “Just. Having a day.”

“Lay it on me,” Simon said easily.

The way he said it. So simple, so selfless. So Simon.

Wille began to explain everything that had gone wrong so far in the week. He talked about the headlines that were still lingering from his very public breakup, and how seeing them these days made him feel more angry than sad. He complained about his parents, who were still making subtle comments encouraging him to hurry up and find a suitable bride. And some comments that were much less subtle. Wille mentioned the particular remark that had caused this whole tailspin – Erik would have produced an heir by now.

It made his stomach lurch when he heard it. His mother had said it so casually. Wille knew she wasn’t really thinking when she said it, and she didn’t mean it to be insensitive, but it still struck him.

There wasn’t a single day of the past ten years that went by without Wille thinking of his brother. Thinking exactly the sort of thing his mother had said. Erik would be doing all of this better. Erik was always better.

Simon was probably the only person who really understood how Wille felt about his brother. He remembered a time, so long ago yet so impossibly close in his memory, when he had gotten the call at Hillerska informing him that his brother had passed away. His world was turned upside down in an instant. It would have been so easy for him to have lost himself then, to lose control completely.

But Simon was there. At that point, he and Simon shared a tentative friendship; if a little awkward, after Simon had kissed him at a movie night. Now, he remembers the moment fondly, a sweet little anecdote that he and Simon would laugh about whenever someone asked them if they were dating.

No, just friends. He did try to tap this once when we were in school, though.

Back then, they were just kids. Maybe in some other lifetime, he would have actually tried to make things work with Simon. But Wille had so much going on in his life, then. More than anything, he just needed a friend.

When Erik died, Simon was there. He was by his side every step of the way.

Over a decade later, he stood there still. Patiently listening as Wille ranted about his day, munching on chips and salsa all the while.

“And it all just boiled over today, I guess. It started with mamma chewing me out during the morning meeting in front of the whole staff just because I told her I’m not going to be available for the state dinner on Saturday. She has full access to my books, the conflict has been there for months. She had no reason to question it now, but insisting I be there looks good in front of the staff, so I had to let it happen. I didn’t budge, though. I’m obviously going to Alve’s wedding.”

“If it’s a state thing, you know Alve would understand,” Simon interjected. Wille knew he was trying to be helpful, but he was missing the point.

“No, we have these dinners all the time. Besides, I would never miss Alve’s wedding,” Wille waved a hand dismissively before his train of thought came to a screeching halt as he remembered something. “Plus, you’re bringing Rocco, right? I need to finally meet him. By the number of times he bailed on Taco Tuesdays, I’m inclined to believe you made him up.”

At that, Simon’s expression changed suddenly. Where before he had been alert and attentive all the while Wille talked, now he was panicked, eyes darting to look seemingly anywhere but at Wille.

“About that, actually. We… broke up?”

“What? When?”

“Uh…” Simon gently tapped his phone that was resting face-up on the countertop. The lock screen lit up, displaying a familiar image of Wille and Simon at the very same bar they sat at now.

The picture was a few years old, but Wille knew it was one of Simon’s favorites. It was taken on the day Simon had finished grad school. That night must’ve been written in Geronimo’s history books – for one day only, Ayub and Rosh’s lifetime ban was temporarily lifted. Wille had spent the night celebrating Simon, surrounded by all of their favorite people. Mikael had (reluctantly) let them bust out the karaoke machine that night, despite the fact that it wasn’t even a Friday. Simon had begged and begged and begged Wille to sing a song with him. It took a couple of tequila shots worth of convincing, but Wille eventually relented, and the picture displayed on Simon’s phone showed Simon and Wille sharing a microphone as they stumbled through all the incorrect lyrics to Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”.

Simon looked at the time that appeared at the top of his screen, pausing for a moment to count on his fingers.

“About… Three and a half hours ago?”

Oh. Oh.

“Simon! What the fuck, why didn’t you lead with that?” Wille scolded, bewildered at the fact that he was just finding this out now. After he had spent the better part of half an hour talking Simon’s ear off about matters that, in the grand scheme of things, were far less pressing. It was so like Simon to do this. Most of the time it was admirable, the way Simon went out of his way to put everyone he cared about before himself. Other times, when it was clear Simon was neglecting his own needs in the process, it was beyond frustrating.

“It’s seriously no big deal, Wille. We only dated for like, a month. I don’t even think we were really exclusive. Besides, this is your emergency Geronimo’s intervention.”

“Well, now I feel bad complaining about my month-old breakup when your wounds are far fresher.”

“I’d hardly call mine wounds. Barely even scratches. Besides, I broke up with him.” Simon said. His voice was too light and breezy for Wille’s liking. He couldn’t help but feel annoyed with how nonchalant Simon sounded. Simon always seemed that way when it came to relationships. He never seemed to care as much when things didn’t end up working out with whoever he had been seeing. Wille never really understood how that could be. The Simon he knew cared so much about everything. “Did Sage reach out to you again?” Simon continued, eagerly changing the subject.

“No. I think maybe they got the hint after you tore them a new one last time.”

“Good,” Simon said, a hint of a smile showing on his face for the first time since they started talking. It was short-lived, though. A fleeting moment of levity before Simon’s concern was back in full force. “Something else is bothering you, though. Wille.”

“I just… I had a hard time alone in my apartment this weekend. It was just so damn quiet,” Wille admitted.

That was it, more than anything else, really.

You get used to having someone around when you share a space with someone else for the better part of four years.

“I get it,” Simon said simply. He reached out and pulled Wille’s right hand away from where it gripped the stem of his long-emptied margarita glass and held it in his own. Wille instantly felt comforted by the gesture, like an unseen weight was being lifted off of him. “Listen. It’s getting late, and Mikael is going to kick us out any minute. Why don’t I come and stay the night at yours? I think I missed the last bus out, and it sounds like a bit of company would do you good.”

• ────── ✾ ────── •

“What do you want to watch?” Simon’s raised voice echoed through Wille’s apartment. Wille was rummaging through a drawer in his kitchen, trying to find his little popcorn maker so he could fulfill his promise of providing a very needy Simon with snacks to go along with their movie night.

“I don’t know why you’re asking me,” Wille replied, speaking louder so that Simon could hear him over the clanging of pots and pans he was having to shuffle around as a part of his searching efforts. “I have never made a decision in my life.”

“Tell me about it.”

Wille’s cabinets were admittedly looking kind of sad right now. He wasn’t much of a cook. Especially now that he was single and living alone again, Wille was almost embarrassed at how much takeout he consumed. Still, he had this gorgeous new, spacious, state-of-the-art kitchen in his apartment with counter space for days and more storage than he knew what to do with. A few weeks ago, each drawer and cupboard was completely filled. The kitchen was entirely Sage’s domain. No, had been Sage’s.

In fact, food was kind of Sage’s whole thing. That was actually how they had met, nearly five years ago now. Sage was hired fresh out of culinary school to work at the palace, and after a few state dinners, it was clear Sage and Wille were really hitting it off. It didn’t take long for the spark to turn into a flame, and the rest was history…

History leading up to Sage taking most of their kitchen appliances with them when they moved out. Including Wille’s popcorn maker, apparently. Which didn’t even belong to them.

Wille spent a brief moment rummaging through his snack drawer hoping to at least find some microwave popcorn. With no such luck, he settled for an unopened bag of Twizzlers that Maddie had left last time she came back from New York with an entire suitcase of American snacks.

“Just put it on whatever movie channel. You’re going to fall asleep to it anyway.”

“No, I can—“

“Simon,” Wille said simply, appearing in the doorway to give Simon a look. Simon was notorious for not being able to make it through any movie after 10 pm. The joke was that if you wanted Simon to actually process a movie, you would have to show it to him first thing in the morning and ensure that he consumed several cups of coffee first.

Tonight Wille didn’t mind if Simon was going to crash early on. He just wanted the company.

“Stop roasting me. You’re supposed to be bringing me snacks.”

Wille held up the Twizzlers with a frown, knowing that it wasn’t Simon’s snack of choice. Simon loved popcorn, and he especially loved it freshly popped. Usually Wille would be able to provide that no problem, but apparently it wasn’t in the cards for this disaster of an evening. Wille watched as Simon narrowed his eyes to squint at the candy with mild disapproval.

“I think Sage took the popcorn machine last time they were here,” Wille explained with a defeated sigh.

“What?” Simon gasped, shaking his head. “No. Wille, you have to ask for that back.”

“So not worth it,” Wille grumbled, making his way to the sofa and plopping his body down next to Simon. “I’ll just buy a new one.”

“It’s yours, though. I got it for you for Christmas the year you moved here.” Simon looked genuinely disappointed, which sent a pang of regret through Wille.

“I know, I know,” Wille sighed. He handed Simon the entire package of Twizzlers and attempted to make himself comfortable. It was a bit of a struggle – for someone with an egregious amount of cash at his disposal, he must have owned the least comfortable sofa in all of Sweden. It wasn’t like it held any sentimental value or anything. When he had finally convinced his family to let him live on his own outside of the palace (with Sage), he had insisted on furnishing the place himself instead of letting his staff handle it. And, well… Wille never claimed to be the best at interior design.

While Wille struggled to adjust the throw pillows, Simon made quick work of tearing the bag of Twizzlers open and picking out three ropes for himself before tossing the package on the cushion in between him and Wille. “If you won’t ask them, I will. They’re scared of me.”

“How anyone can be scared of you, I’ll never know. What did you even say to them?”

“What they needed to hear,” Simon said simply. The same explanation he gave every time Wille had asked the question, which likely meant that was all Wille was going to get.

Simon had the remote in his hand and was flipping through channels aimlessly, not really settling on anything. Eventually, he went with Wille’s suggestion and landed on a channel that was just playing movies back to back. This particular channel was around the 45-minute mark in “When Harry Met Sally”. Both Wille and Simon had already seen the film (many, many times), which was ideal for a night of turning off their overactive minds and just breathing.

Simon and Wille actually weren’t great at watching movies together. As long as Simon was still awake, he and Wille had a tendency to add commentary to the point where they would drown out whatever was on the TV, more often than not getting caught up in conversation until whatever they had put on ended up long forgotten. They liked it that way, which was why they continued to have movie nights together. Their friends, on the other hand, hated it and would avoid watching anything with the two of them together whenever possible.

Wille started the commentary for “When Harry Met Sally” almost immediately, choosing to harp on Billy Crystal’s memorable philosophy.

“‘Men and women can’t be friends’, as if queer people don’t exist.”

Simon chuckled, shaking his head a little. “It was the eighties, I’m not sure why you’re surprised. Besides, I think it’s more like… two people who could theoretically be attracted to each other. It’s more about sex than it is about gender.”

“If two people who could theoretically be attracted to each other can’t be friends, explain David and Stevie from Schitt’s Creek,” Wille pointed out.

“They’re fictional. And they canonically fucked.”

“And didn’t they end up the best of friends?”

Simon sighed, rolling his eyes at Wille a little. “Yeah, well. The premise of this movie is fundamentally incorrect, what can I tell you? Doesn’t make it any less iconic.”

What was being left unsaid was that Wille was thinking about how he and Simon were friends who could theoretically be attracted to one another. He was sure Simon was thinking it too. If sex was going to ultimately doom their friendship, how had they lasted ten years? Unless… No. No, the premise of the film was definitely bullshit.

They quieted for a few minutes, watching with drifting focus as Harry and Sally unrolled a new rug and talked about sleeping with someone new after a bad breakup.

Maybe this movie choice was hitting a little bit too close to home. Wille was half-consciously holding his breath, and Simon was keenly aware of it, looking over at Wille every few seconds to make sure he was okay. Which Wille appreciated.

The scene shifted, Harry and Jess now at the batting cages, and Wille exhaled, although something was sticking to his mind a little. His entire emotional tailspin today largely had to do with his loneliness. A lot of that had to do with missing the physical intimacy of sex and having someone to share his bed. He thought of what Sally had said, about how it takes months or even longer before someone could be ready to go to bed with someone after heartbreak. And then how Harry followed up saying he hadn’t waited at all.

If Wille was craving physical intimacy… did that mean he was ready?

Harry and his best friend Jess were situated in adjacent batting cages, talking about Harry’s evolved friendship with Sally, which now involved more open communication about their respective partners.

“I can say anything to her.”

“Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?” “No, it's just different. It's a whole different perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she desires and I can talk to her about the women that I see.”

“You tell her about other women?” “Yeah, like the other night, I made love to this woman. It was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human. She actually meowed.”

“God, I miss sex,” Wille groaned, the thoughts in his head bouncing around too quickly to remain contained.

“You made a woman meow?”

“Yeah, that's the point. I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie, because I am not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.”

“You made a woman meow?”

Simon nodded, glancing at Wille again. “Toss a stone out the window. I guarantee that you’re bound to hit at least a dozen partners who’d be dying to fuck you in one shot.”

Wille knew that Simon meant it as a compliment, but all that came to Wille’s mind was the fact that even if he was able to find someone willing and available, his title made things infinitely more complicated.

“Right, and I’ll just toss that NDA along with it,” Wille said with a humorless laugh.

Simon softened a bit at this, his face seeming to convey a sort of pity, but not one that made Wille feel ashamed. Just seen; understood.

“I have no words of comfort to offer you. That does indeed complicate things.”

“And like…” Wille paused to take a bite out of a Twizzler before continuing, words muffled by the sound of chewing. “I’m not going to have someone go through all that just for something casual. I’d want to do the whole romance thing again. Well, I don’t want to, but…”

“It’s a bit much to do the whole courting song and dance just to get laid?” Simon completed Wille’s thought.

“Yeah. But, at the same time, I am getting really fucking sick of getting myself off all the time,” Wille admitted. He spent too many nights lately just missing the body in his bed, missing how it felt to touch and be touched. Try as he might, he couldn’t replicate the company on his own. He ached for it. “It’s just so much better with someone else.”

“Speak for yourself. My recent track record says otherwise,” Simon replied.

Wille was surprised by Simon’s response. He thought it was a given that sex with someone else was nearly always going to be better than any sort of solo venture.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve even been with someone long enough for us to be, like. Comfortable around each other. I can’t even remember the last time a hookup has been better than mediocre. I’m more efficient on my own. I know what I like.”

Efficient. That was never a word Wille used when it came to sex. He loved the intimacy of it, being close with someone he really cared about. Something about the word “efficient” felt kind of cool and detached, which didn’t sound like Simon at all.

Wille knew Simon, how caring and attentive he was just with day-to-day things. If even a touch of that carried over to the bedroom, that would make Simon an exceptional lover. Any person with eyes and a beating heart would be a fool not to give all that attention back to him tenfold. It was tough to believe that Simon had somehow attracted so many people who wouldn’t give him everything he deserved.

In their position, Wille wouldn’t think twice.

Huh. Now there’s an idea.

“You know… you and I should just have sex.”

“Ha, right?” Simon snickered through a mouthful of Twizzlers.

“No, I’m serious. It makes sense, right?”

“What?” Simon was fully taken aback now, turning his entire upper body to face Wille head-on. He looked at Wille as if he had just confessed that he was actually a martian sent to Earth to destroy humanity. Maybe that would have made more sense, actually. “No. Wille, what?”

Maybe Wille regretted speaking up, but it was far too late to take it back now. All or nothing.

“Hear me out. I’m really horny because I haven’t had sex in ages but I can’t just hook up with just anyone because I’m, you know. Me. And you keep having bad sex because you’re never really with someone you are totally comfortable with. You can be comfortable with me. And I can trust you. See? It would be mutually beneficial.”

“Oh, come off it, Wille. That’s… this is absurd. I mean, do you even find me attractive?”

The answer was the easiest yes Wille could give. Simon was objectively gorgeous.

Even now, somehow. Simon had borrowed some of Wille’s clothes to wear since he had gone to Geronimo’s right from work. The sweatpants he wore were rolled up at the ankles, and he was practically drowning in one of Wille’s old Hillerska t-shirts. He was already tiny and the oversized clothes made him seem even smaller. The ensemble was not really screaming sexy. And yet…

It was the changing flashes of light from the long-forgotten television reflecting off his skin. The way his curls had fully broken free from the product Simon had used to attempt to tame them to look professional at work. A glimpse of jawline, eyelashes, cheekbones, lips…

Eyes. Soft brown and warm, blinking still at Wille, awaiting an answer.

It was also something about the way Simon carried himself. Wille had watched his best friend really come into his own over the past ten years. The man blinking at him bewildered on his sofa was not the same awkward kid who had, once upon a time, kissed him in a dark Hillerska hallway. That Simon would have heard what Wille was saying now and run for the hills. This Simon was still here. Listening. He always… listened.

It’s not like Wille was lusting over Simon or anything. It would have made for a very uncomfortable decade of friendship if he was. He was just admiring Simon’s objective good looks. He could do the same with Felice or Alve. Probably.

So yeah, Wille found Simon attractive.

“Have you seen yourself?” Wille didn’t wait for him to answer. “And you obviously don’t think I’m that repulsive since you did kiss me.”

Simon snorted. “Yeah, ten years ago, dumbass.”

“I’m just saying,” Wille shrugged. “It would solve both of our problems.”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “Problems?”

“I want to sleep with someone I care about but don’t want to start a whole new relationship. You want good sex, and you need someone you are comfortable with for that,” Wille explained. “It just makes sense.”

“Wille, come on. You’re drunk,” Simon said, shaking his head, his disbelief evident. Wille could see that he was grasping at straws at this point.

“I’m really not. I had two drinks, hours ago now, and you watched me drink them. And you know Mikael, he’s got the world’s lightest pour. I’m fully sober. I’m just really sad and really horny and I trust you.”

“I don’t know, Wille.”

“We’d just be offering each other a helping hand, so to speak,” Wille said, the words flowing out of his mouth easier now that the idea was solidifying in his mind. “We can tell each other what we like without having to worry about it being embarrassing. God knows we’ve already seen each other at our worst. It’s just physical, a way to get it out of our systems. Right?”

“I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea. I don’t want anything to be weird between us if—“

“I don’t think things would have to be weird. Remember how I massaged your feet for weeks after we went on that Kungsleden hike? I don’t see how this would be any different. Not really. It’s just. Scratching an itch. Sucking a dick. A means to an end.”

Simon was quiet, uncharacteristically unreadable.

“It would be nice to be able to tell you exactly what to do without having to worry about you running for the hills because I’m too demanding,” Simon eventually concedes.

“Right? You boss me around all the time already. I’m so used to it.”

Simon laughed. “You make a really compelling argument, you know that?”

“Don’t I always?” Wille replied, smiling easily.

“The death of me, I swear…” Simon muttered. Wille watched as Simon shifted uncomfortably in his seat, seemingly trying to hide something. Wille knew immediately that Simon must have really been considering Wille’s offer, as the outline of Simon’s interest in his sweatpants was becoming increasingly obvious.

“Apparently,” Wille said pointedly, clearly shifting his line of vision to point out Simon’s erection.

Simon was looking at Wille with a frown that Wille knew meant that he was overthinking something. He could practically hear the frantic mechanical drum of the gears in Simon’s head working overtime. Wille wanted to quiet them. Simon deserved to let go for once, to just feel good. He didn’t want this to be something either of them had to think about. He just wanted… he wanted relief. He thought that perhaps Simon wanted something similar.

With only a moment’s hesitation, Wille reached to rest a flat palm on top of the bulge in Simon’s pants. He watched carefully as Simon’s eyes fluttered shut as he let out a sharp inhale.

“This won’t change anything. Between you and me?” Simon opened his eyes to meet Wille’s gaze. Wille saw that Simon looked more vulnerable than he had seen him in years. “We’re still us, right?”

“Of course. Always,” Wille assured.

“I am really horny.”

“I can help,” Wille whispered, and something about the expression on Simon’s face told Wille that this might have been his best idea ever.

Simon was looking at him with eyes wide open. He wasn’t even blinking, he was just staring. Wille couldn’t help but stare right back. Simon’s eyes, dark and swirling brown, were so soft and familiar.

He thought for a moment that Simon might kiss him. He never did, but they were close enough now that Wille could smell sweet strawberry from the Twizzlers on Simon’s breath. He tried to remember, for a moment, what it did feel like to kiss Simon. It had been so long ago, and the memory was fading at the edges, but he still remembered sitting on a windowsill, looking at Simon, eyes flickering down to his lips…

No. That was a thought spiral that Wille did not have time for.

Wille shifted his wrist, moving his hand so he could feel Simon more directly between layers of fabric. Slowly, so slowly, he began to rub, eyes locked on Simon’s carefully, searching for any sign of discomfort. He didn’t find any. Instead, he watched the way Simon’s lips parted, his mouth hanging open as his lungs started to work harder to keep him breathing.

“Is this okay?” Wille asked, needing verbal confirmation that he wasn’t ruining this whole thing with his inadequacy.

“So okay,” was the immediate response. Simon was still staring right inside him.

Wille smiled, relief flooding his body as he returned his focus to the way his fingertips brushed over the tip of Simon’s length over the layers of fabric.

It was a little strange, admittedly. Wille had slept with men before, but it had been a while. That was the thing about being in a committed relationship for so long — he had gotten accustomed to working with a different kind of anatomy. He hadn’t touched someone’s dick like this in years.

Simon knew that already, though. Wille would have been nervous about getting another guy off if it was anybody else. He would have let his brain spiral, wondering if he was out of practice, assuming he was doing a terrible job. With Simon, it would be different. Simon knew it had been a while. Simon would tell him what he liked and would let him know if something wasn’t working.

This was a good idea.

Wille wanted to get his hand on Simon for real now, wrap his fingers around him and touch. He was about to reach for the waistband of Simon’s (his) sweatpants when a question occurred to him.

“Anything I should know? You know. Before…”

“Oh,” Simon said, snapping back into focus. “Uh. My inner thighs are ticklish. But not in a cute way. Like if you try anything, I’ll probably kick you in the face.”

“Why do I get the feeling you are speaking from experience?” Wille snickered.

“Remember that time you came to visit me at uni for that presentation I gave? And we went for coffee after and I introduced you to that guy? He had a thing on his nose.”

Wille did remember. He met a lot of Simon’s flings throughout the years, and he often got them confused. For whatever reason, Simon never really stayed with anyone for that long, so it was understandable that Wille would flub a name every now and again. He did remember this guy, however.

Simon had just given an incredible presentation for his graduate program. Wille knew how hard Simon had worked on it, so he wasn’t going to miss it for the world. The guy Simon had been seeing had a class at the same time, but the three of them met up for coffee after. Wille remembered feeling annoyed that Nose-Brace-Guy (Wille never could remember his name) didn’t even ask Simon how it went. Wille made sure to work it into the conversation, though. Simon worked too hard to have his accomplishments go unrecognized.

Simon and Nose-Brace-Guy didn’t last too long after that. Still, Wille never did forget him.

“I thought he said his broken nose was a sports injury?” Wille remembered.

“I mean, it was a physical activity.”

“Jesus, Simon,” Wille gaped. He sat in the shock of this new revelation for a beat before both he and Simon erupted in a fit of giggles. The mental image of Simon breaking someone’s nose during sex was just about the funniest thing Wille had ever encountered, and he couldn’t wait to bring it up in conversation as often as possible. It was too good.

“On the other end of the scale, though,” Simon began after a moment, reeling them back in. “Anything on my neck is the greenest, greenest light.”

“Oh, I know,” Wille replied, still laughing. Simon looked surprised at this.

“What do you mean you know?” Simon asked.

“Come on, Simon, you’ve never been subtle. Whenever I see you after a hookup that you’ve raved about, you always have like. A whole neck full of hickeys.”

“And you never called me out on that?” Simon squeaked. He was bringing his hands up to cover his neck in a moment of self-awareness, but Wille wanted him to know he didn’t have to be embarrassed.

“Hey, I mean, good for you. Who am I to stop you from having a good time? Plus, I know you were hearing it plenty from Rosh and Ayub.”

“Very accurate,” Simon softened with a laugh. He dropped his hands from his neck and looked back up at Wille, noticeably more comfortable. “How about you? Sex with Wille 101.”

Wille thought for a moment, wondering if he did have any specific things about his behavior in the bedroom that Simon might need a heads up for. He couldn’t think of anything physical, but he did remember one thing that some of his past partners had pointed out.

“I’m, uh. Pretty talkative?”

Simon let out the loudest bark of laughter yet. “No shit, Wille.”

“Alright, smartass,” Wille rolled his eyes and shoved Simon’s shoulder. Simon curled his arms in front of him and let out a final chuckle before sitting back up straight and returning his focus to Wille. “I just mean that I get uncomfortable with silence. Like. I need verbal confirmation that things are going well for both parties.”

“Mmm,” Simon nodded enthusiastically. “Consent and communication. I like it.”

“And full disclosure, I haven’t done anything with a dick since Daniel, so I’m a bit rusty.”

“You want me to talk you through it?” Simon asked. Wille appreciated his tone – it wasn’t condescending, just a gentle helpful suggestion.

“No, I mean. I’ve done stuff before, obviously. It’s just been a while. So you might want to let me know what I could be doing differently or better.”

“Okay, yeah. Of course,” Simon replied. He was chewing on his lower lip, something he only did when he was nervous about something. Wanting to calm him, Wille returned his hand to Simon’s cock, applying steady friction between Simon, his clothes, and Wille’s palm. Simon let out a low whine. “Please, Wille.”

At that, Wille took the hint and stood, maneuvering his body in front of Simon before lowering himself down to his knees. Simon responded by tugging the borrowed Hillerska t-shirt off over his head, tossing it on the sofa where Wille had just been sitting. He then lifted his hips, allowing Wille easier access to tug the sweatpants and boxers together down his thighs. Simon then kicked the garments off the rest of the way when they reached his ankles, a nervous chuckle on his lips when he now sat fully exposed in front of his friend.

Wille spent the better part of three years on the rowing team with Simon. He had seen Simon naked before. Many times. But it wasn’t like Wille had been looking. At least, not that closely.

Now, Wille was looking.

“Are you just going to stare at it?” Simon asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm but his cheeks betraying a hint of color.

“No,” Wille said, but still didn’t budge.

“Are you sure about that?” Simon asked, an eyebrow raised.

“No, I’m…” Wille huffed. It was oddly comforting, actually, that Simon was still teasing him. It made it impossible for Wille to truly feel nervous, despite the fact that he was severely out of practice.

“Wille, seriously, if we want to just forget this and pretend it never happened, I’m–”

Wille was about to protest, but instead, he made a split-second decision and leaned forward that extra inch to wrap his lips unceremoniously around Simon’s cock.

“O-oh,” Simon gasped, clearly surprised at the sudden turn of events. Simon’s head fell back, looking up at the ceiling as Wille slowly took Simon fully into his mouth.

And oh, Wille had actually missed this. He loved how it felt for him to suck someone’s dick. The weight of his lover on his tongue, stretching his lips and making him feel full. Tasting, touching, and exploring, learning about what to do to get the best physical response, what to do to make his partner make the best noises… He had really missed it.

He was focusing now, paying particular attention to the way his tongue brushed against the underside of Simon’s cock as he slowly bobbed his head. He knew he wasn’t taking Simon very deep – his gag reflex was a problem that he was hoping a bit of practice might solve – but he was hoping to make up for it with enthusiasm. And maybe a little coaching.

Pulling off momentarily to look up at Simon, “How’s this?” Wille asked.

“Good,” Simon breathed. “Can you also, uh. With your hand?”

Wille nodded, pausing to lick a strip of moisture on his right hand before wrapping it gently around Simon’s cock, giving a few quick strokes before adding his mouth back into the mix. Now, his primary focus was the pace he was setting. He stroked the base of Simon’s length with his hand quickly, and then tried to match the motions with his lips so he met his own hand in the middle.

“Fuck, Wille, yes,” Simon moaned. Wille had to fight back a smile at this, pleased that he seemed to be doing a good job.

From here, the notes were minimal. He got a ‘slow down a bit?’ and ‘a little bit tighter, y-yeah’, but once Wille settled on a pace, it was smooth sailing.

It ended up taking a lot less time than Wille had anticipated. Like. A lot less.

When Wille was getting the hang of things, he started to try to take Simon a little deeper in his mouth, curiously beginning to test his own limits. It was then that he felt Simon’s grip on his hair tighten, tugging him back. Simon barely had time to get out a breathless ‘fuck fuck fuck, Wille, I’m gonna co-’ before he was spilling out, covering Wille’s chin. Wille’s eyes were focused solely on Simon’s face as he came, taking note of the way his eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth wide open.

“Oh,” Wille said, not really getting a moment to process what had just happened. He blinked up at Simon, who was breathing heavily and now looking at Wille, eyes wide with horror. Wille felt like laughing, but he didn’t want to hurt Simon’s feelings.

“God, that was embarrassing. I’m so sorry,” Simon mumbled, burying his face in his hands. Wille did have a chance to catch the way Simon’s lips curved into a hint of a smile before he lost sight of them, so he figured teasing was fair game again.

“Jesus, Simon. The sex has really been that bad?” Wille acknowledged that the joke lost a little steam, falling from his still-slick lips and messy jaw.

Simon snorted. “Apparently.”

Simon brought his foot to push on Wille’s chest and kick him back, out of his way. Wille snickered, taking the hint. He got up and wobbled over to his kitchen, grabbing a washcloth and dampening it in the sink. He wiped his face as he turned around and made his way back to Simon.

It was still weird, for a moment, seeing Simon fully naked on his sofa. Wille knew that he literally just had Simon’s dick in his mouth, but the novelty still hadn’t worn off, so to speak. It was just so new. Wille wasn’t used to “new” with Simon. Simon was the constant in his life. Safe, familiar, unchanging.

Seeing Simon’s O-face? That was definitely new.

“I guess I’m flattered that you didn’t last long, although I wish you gave me a little bit more warning,” Wille smiled. Sitting on the sofa beside Simon, he used the washcloth on Simon gently before tossing it beside him on top of his old t-shirt.

“Give me a second to recoup, and then I promise I’ll make up for it.”

“If you don’t want–” Wille started, sudden insecurity making him feel the need to backtrack. Taking a page out of his own book, however, Simon halted Wille before either of them had the chance to doubt themselves, standing up suddenly. He held out his hand to Wille, looking at him expectantly. Wille blinked, confusion overwhelming. “What?”

“I’m taking you to bed. This will be better if you’re comfortable.”

“Well now I feel bad for blowing you on my Papa Bear sofa,” Wille sighed, placing his hand in Simon’s. Simon then gave Wille’s arm a forceful tug, springing him onto his feet in one blur of a motion.

“Did you hear me complaining?”

“Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Bingo,” Simon smiled warmly, and all Wille’s doubts dissipated in a moment.

Still holding on to Wille’s hand, Simon led Wille across his flat and into his bedroom. Wille’s mind and eyes were wandering every which way. He was looking at their hands, fingers loosely intertwined in a way that felt so casual. He looked at Simon’s body, fully nude in front of him. His ass looked great, likely thanks to all the hiking they’d been doing lately. Wille’s thoughts wandered to a mild feeling of jealousy that his own ass wasn’t shaping up as well despite the fact that Wille accompanied Simon on every one of his hikes.

Then, when they reached Wille’s bedroom and Simon finally dropped his hand, Wille thought about the next task at hand.

“Alright, where do you want me?” Wille asked, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. After getting Simon off so effectively, he was now extremely turned on. His body was screaming for some sort of relief, and now, for the first time in months, he had someone else to provide it for him. This was exactly what he had been missing.

Simon paused. His eyes darted around Wille’s bedroom, carefully considering. “First thing’s first. You gotta take your clothes off. And then you can go ahead and sit on your bed. Arrange the pillows however you want.”

It was kind of thrilling, seeing Simon in action like this. Simon was confident, fully at ease. He knew what he was doing. He wanted to make sure Wille was comfortable. It was kind of really sexy.

Wille did what he was told, scrambling to get undressed as fast as his body would let him. He was still dressed in the clothes he was wearing earlier in the day, which consisted of a button-down shirt and some nice slacks, so he was careful about making sure everything ended up safely in his laundry before climbing on top of his bed. He took a moment to move two of his pillows to support his body as he shifted to sit and lean back on his headboard. Once he was situated, he looked up at Simon.

Simon stood at the foot of Wille’s bed, watching Wille with a weird sort of smile playing on his lips. Wille was about to question it when Simon began to make a show of stretching – lunging side to side with his arms stretched above his head, and then jogging in place. Simon was being silly, attempting to lighten the mood. Still, Wille couldn’t help but focus his eyes on Simon’s exposed lower half as he moved, expression a little bit dazed. It was so new and hard to avoid.

“You dork.” Wille forced himself to look away, throwing a pillow at Simon, who slapped it away with impressively fast reflexes.

“The stakes are high. I have a record time to beat.”

“Is that your goal when fucking someone? Just trying to get your partner to come the fastest?” Wille teased, raising an eyebrow at Simon. “Because that might be your whole problem.”

“Ugh, shut up.”

Simon grabbed the pillow from the floor and chucked it back at Wille, who caught it, laughing. Wille placed the pillow gently to the side, shaking his head, amused. Simon then crawled onto the bed and settled on his stomach in between Wille’s legs. He paused there for a moment, resting his chin on his palms. He was tapping his fingers on his cheeks, looking at Wille with a strange sort of twinkle in his eyes. This was likely the first time Simon got a good look at Wille’s dick, too. A new milestone in their friendship to celebrate, Wille supposed.

“You look nervous,” Wille observed, voice teasing more than anything else.

“I’m not,” Simon replied, a little too quickly.

Wille shrugged. “You have no reason to be. I mean, you should know what you’re doing better than me.”

“Do not slut shame, Wilhelm,” Simon scolded jokingly.

Wille laughed, holding his hands up in the air. “No, it’s a good thing! Practice makes perfect! You’ve just done a lot of practice.”

Simon deadpanned. “You don’t even know if I’m good yet.”

“Get to it, then, and prove me right.” Wille motioned to his exposed lower half, his boner having become something like the elephant in the room since they started teasing each other again.

“If you’re going to rush me, I can always just–”

“Simon, I swear to God,” Wille interrupted, his voice urgent. The fact that he’d been naked for this long without Simon touching him was really starting to drive him mad.

“Alright, alright!” Simon laughed. He adjusted his position on the bed so his arms wrapped underneath Wille’s legs, his hands on Wille’s hips, pinning them down.

When Simon’s tongue finally made contact with Wille, a slow and careful lick from Wille’s base to his tip, Wille felt Simon’s lingering laughter reverberate throughout his entire body. Wille felt Simon’s tongue everywhere. Simon was trailing his tongue sloppily up and down Wille’s length, lips pursing around his base to leave wet and loud kisses on the sensitive skin there. The sensation was overwhelming, and Wille’s mind, and mouth, could hardly keep up.

“O-oh my God, fuck. Fuck, feels so good. Shit, just like that.”

Wille felt Simon’s lips on his skin turn up into an amused smile. Wille could imagine himself feeling self-conscious about his… vocal nature in bed with someone else, but with Simon, it felt incredibly freeing to not have to worry about that in the slightest. Sure, Simon was smiling, and he was certain he would get teased about it later, but it didn’t really matter. He could always be himself around Simon.

When Simon finally wrapped his lips fully around Wille for the first time, Wille could have sworn he saw stars. Simon then proceeded to take Wille so deep into his mouth, and okay, yeah, Wille was ready to confirm that Simon was definitely good at this.

For a moment, Wille relaxed into it, the feeling of overwhelming pleasure taking hold. It didn’t take long though for his wandering thoughts to catch up with what was happening, and soon, seeds of doubt were beginning to take root in his mind.

Wille thought that perhaps he should be closing his eyes? He didn’t know if maybe he should have been imagining someone else in this scenario, pretending that it wasn’t Simon who had his mouth on him, but someone else, some fantasy partner. It was definitely Simon, though.

As his brain was realizing that it was definitely Simon with his lips wrapped prettily around his cock, Wille’s own running mouth was several steps ahead.

“Simon, fuck, Simon. You’re so good at that, fuck. Simme. Simon, god.”

Simon was really giving it his all, his mouth wet and loud and messy. At some point he had repositioned his body so that one of his arms was underneath him holding him upright while the other was on Wille’s length, holding him steady.

With more of the same enthusiasm, Simon shifted his focus to the head of Wille’s cock, swirling his tongue around the ultra-sensitive area with vigor. His whole head moved with the motion, following his tongue around to touch every bit of skin. Wille was overcome, and a hand instinctively reached out to Simon’s head. He wanted to run his fingers through Simon’s curls, to grab and touch and pull. Not knowing if Simon would be comfortable with that, he stopped himself, instead opting to trail a thumb along Simon’s hairline, toying gently with a loose curl that fell onto his forehead.

“Shit, just like that, Simon. Yes.”

Simon pulled off of Wille and beamed up at him, catching his breath a little. “God, you weren’t kidding about being talkative, huh?”

Ugh, Wille knew he was going to be teased about this, but he had thought it would be after, not during. He didn’t want this now, he wanted Simon’s mouth on him again, he wanted–needed–more.

“No, don’t—please, want your mouth again, Simon, please.”

Simon was smirking now, and Wille wanted to scream. “Begging. Good to know.”

Oh.

“Fuck, Simon.”

Simon laughed. “Believe me, I’m working on it.”

“Not hard enough.”

“Looks pretty hard to me,” Simon said, taking Wille’s length in his hand again and wiggling a little.

“Simon,” Wille said, and now, yes, now Wille was begging.

Simon listened this time, diving in again to lick Wille wetly from the base to the tip before wrapping his lips around and plunging his head down deep. Wille could feel himself hit the back of Simon’s throat and he cried out loud, thanking whatever powers may be that he didn’t really have neighbors close enough to hear this.

Simon continued, breaking Wille into pieces with his lips, his tongue, his hands. Wille chattered along all the while, cursing and pleading and crying out Simon’s name.

He thought maybe saying Simon’s name during sex would be weird, but surprisingly, it came easily.

“I’m clo–fuck–Simme, I’m close. Fuck, so close, Simon, please.”

Simon popped off Wille and started to stroke him hard and fast with his hand. All the while, his mouth was open and his tongue was sticking out of his mouth, ready. Seeing him like that, looking so deliciously sinful as he waited for Wille to come, was enough to push him over the edge. It didn’t take much on Simon’s part at all before the coils that were tightening inside Wille sprung loose.

“Simon, fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m–”

In one perfect moment of release, Wille was crying out, drops of his come landing perfectly on Simon’s patient tongue.

“Fuck,” Wille panted, one last audible expression before he fully collapsed back and melted blissfully away into his bedsheets.

He felt the bed rustle with movement as Simon slid off, but didn’t really register it in his mind. Simon had returned a brief moment later, having seemingly gone to turn off the television and tidy up a bit. An easy smile on his lips, Simon helped adjust his pillows again and get Wille under his covers before turning off the lights.

In the dark, Simon crawled beside Wille, on top of the bedsheets. Both of them were now laying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. Wille’s body was pure jelly, but his mind was starting to come to.

“How’d I do?” Simon asked into the darkness. “Did I scratch your itch?“

“Perfectly, thank you,” Wille said, smiling. “And how about me? Are my blowjobs as good as my foot massages?”

Simon chuckled. “Well. The foot massages were very much appreciated, but I wouldn’t call them orgasmic.”

“Not a bad idea, right?” Wille asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Fishing for compliments?”

“A little,” Wille admitted with a smile.

“It was great, Wille. Seriously, didn’t even realize how much I needed that.”

Wille didn’t really realize he needed it either. A few hours ago, he never would have thought sleeping with Simon was even an option for him. Even if he had thought of the idea, he never suspected Simon would go along with it. And yet here he was, completely naked beside him. And he felt really, really good about it.

“Good work, team,” Wille grinned, holding out a fist to Simon. Simon laughed loudly, fist-bumping Wille back. It was too dark to see his face, but Wille would bet good money that Simon was rolling his eyes.

“Thanks for the bro job, man.”

“Bro job, Jesus,” Wille groaned, glad Simon couldn’t see how wide he was smiling. “Never say that again, you loser.”

“Coming from the guy who just fist-bumped me.”

Wille and Simon both laughed at that, and then settled into another comfortable silence.

When the drowsiness was beginning to take over to lull Wille to sleep, he was awakened by a rustle of motion beside him. Wille looked over to see the outline of Simon standing up and tip-toeing to the open bedroom door.

“What are you doing?” Wille asked.

“I have work tomorrow,” Simon said, whispering even though he and Wille were the only ones in the apartment.

“I know that,” Wille clarified, frowning. “It’s not tomorrow yet, though. Where are you going?”

“Bed?”

“Right,” Wille said. Simon was looking at him oddly, seemingly perplexed by Wille’s surprise.

“I always sleep in your guest room, Wille,” Simon said slowly. His voice carried little emotion, and Wille was still unable to get a proper read on him.

“Right, yeah. It’s just…”

“Wille,” Simon breathed, his voice finally betraying a hint of exasperated understanding.

“What?” Wille questioned.

“Do you want me to sleep in here with you?”

Wille began to protest. He wanted Simon to be comfortable. He didn’t want to make any of this weirder than it already was. “No, it’s fine, you can –”

“Wille,” Simon repeated.

The name as it was spoken aloud said so much more than just a single sound. Simon was saying, ‘you can’t fool me. I know you too well. You’re still lonely. You need someone. I’m here. I’ve always been here. I always will be’.

Wille thought maybe he took his best friend for granted sometimes. He didn’t deserve this.

Still, Simon was right. Simon was always right. Wille wanted Simon to stay. It felt so good to have someone in his bed again.

“Yes, please.”

Simon nodded. Without another word, he made his way back to the bed and crawled under the covers.

With the warmth of another body beside him in bed, Wille felt comforted in a way he hadn’t for a long, long time, and sleep found him easily.