Chapter Text
Daiji has spent months shouldering burdens.
Fenix's burden of saving humanity. Ikki's burden of helping people. Sakura's burden of being strong. Hiromi's burden of absolute selflessness. His dad's burden of defeating demons.
And Kagerou's burden... wasn't that ironic? His demon, a creature born from everything he hated about himself, had left him with the greatest burden of all: to be strong - unwavering - in his pursuits.
As it turns out, that burden was the one that hurt the most. Because Kagerou hadn't actually died when they fought all those months ago. He'd been hiding in the Holy Wing stamp all this time, apparently aware enough of Daiji's actions to reprimand him for everything. Bastard.
But god, he didn't realize how much he'd miss his demon until he was met with the gaping absence. There were nights where he'd lie awake, unable to keep the sickening CRACK of the Evil helmet from ringing in his ears. He felt guilty for their fight, at the end of the day, and his jealousy for his siblings only grew stronger. Not only were they able to be stupid optimists in the face of the end of humanity, but they could also co-exist with their demons. He felt like he'd only started to understand Kagerou when he suddenly made them fight to the death, and-
"Oi, Daiji! Are you listening?"
He opens his eyes - wait, when had he closed them? - and looks around. Ikki and Sakura are sitting in the row in front of him, with Vice crammed into the passenger's seat and his dad at the wheel of the van they're in. Hiromi is sitting beside him, fast asleep, and he feels guilty about that too.
"When are you not beating yourself up over shit, huh? Idiot..."
He hears the affection in Kagerou's voice when he calls him an idiot, but he can't deny that it's odd to hear it in his head again after so long. They'd never really communicated openly like this, and. Well, it'd be better to ask him directly.
"Kagerou?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh..."
He struggles to put it into words, and he knows the demon will chastise him for the question no matter how he asks it, so he takes his shot.
"Why did you always use a mirror to talk to me? I mean- instead of... you know... this?"
Kagerou scoffs. But he thinks about it. They hit a red light when he finally gets an answer.
"Our whole deal is different than your siblings. You already knew that, considering I'm the only demon in this car who looks like their host."
"Don't call me a host!"
"I'm not calling you my human!"
"Host sounds like you're a parasite or something! That's just gross!"
"Whatever! You want me to answer the question or not?"
Daiji crosses his arms.
"Go ahead."
"What I'm trying to say is that back then, if I didn't do what I did-"
Daiji remembers the possession, he remembers his demon fooling everyone he knew into believing that everything was just fine, he remembers his family's vacation being ruined.
"You would've convinced yourself that I was just some voice in your head. Or worse, you would've gone to Fenix and demanded they do something stupid like split us up and lock me in a cell."
He thinks about it, and honestly? He can't deny it.
"So yeah. I don't regret what I did."
And he knows that Kagerou probably doesn't mean it in that way, but he can't help the sting that comes with those words. And the thought comes effortlessly.
"So you don't regret making me think I killed you?"
It comes out harsh, fueled by the months of self-loathing and regret that he's carried with him since that fight.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. But honestly? You needed that lesson."
Before they can keep arguing, the van pulls up to Happy Spa and Vice ushers everyone out excitedly, insisting that Hiromicchi stay the night. It's a mess, and it keeps his mind off of everything.
And god he'd missed his mom so much. His dad had gone ahead to help Hiromi into a spare room and find him a change of clothes, and he just stands there for a minute, surrounded by his family, feeling like nothing could be better than this. There are still things that need to be done, and there's still conversations that need to be had, but for now? Daiji can rest. Kagerou can too. Things are good.