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"will that be all for you?"
"could i get a pack of marlboro reds too, please?"
"i thought you said you were quitting?" ranboo says to wilbur as the cashier turns to grab a pack.
wilbur groans in annoyance, "shut up."
ranboo has heard the man say those words so many times by now he couldn't be phased, "you promised me you'd quit. and don't even act like you don't remember 'cause i know you do."
"i was high when i promised that." wilbur replies as he hands the cashier his money.
"so what? you're always high. you promised me, wil."
"i don't understand why you care so much anyway." wilbur collects his change and walks past the other.
ranboo follows him out the gas station doors, "you don't understand why i care about your health?"
"uh-huh, yes. you think i give a shit about my 'health'? no, because who cares!" wilbur paces to the car, "what's the worse case scenario? i die? good, that's probably the best case scenario for me."
ranboo shakes his head and unlocks the car, the two instantly opening their doors and getting inside, "i hate when you say stuff like that."
"if you hated it so much you wouldn't still be here."
"and you know i hate it when you say stuff like that. "
"could you just shut up and drive already?"
_________
ranboo sits against a bed as he stares down into his red solo cup, ignoring the people sat on the mattress who had been slobbering over each other since he arrived at the party. it's not that he minded much, they seemed like a cute couple, it just seems as though nothing can be enjoyable right now. what really is there to be enjoyed about being in some college dorm suite surrounded by cross-faded grown adults? the heavy scent of alcohol mixes with the slightly smogged air caused by all the weed in a muzzy combination while the soft rock lowly blares through the atmosphere.
he doesn't know why he even bothers to come. well, he does know why. he comes because of wilbur. because wilbur—the super cool college guy ranboo had started hanging around a few months back that made all his other high school friends jealous—drags him along to these dumb stoner parties. but he can't blame it all on wilbur, at the end of the day ranboo is the one who continues to come. ranboo is the one who doesn't stop.
he doesn't know where wilbur is now, it had probably been about two hours since he last saw the brunette. as soon as they arrived wilbur was immediately lured off by a blunt rotation like a dog with treats, only to come back a little while later to grope ranboo and tease him for being sensitive about it. luckily, he'd spotted a familiar girl with faded pink hair and flawless black eyeliner he knew as one of wilbur's many friends. or more-so, niki had luckily spotted him, successfully distracting wilbur by sending another buddy of his to take him off somewhere else.
ranboo had smiled at her, the closest he could get to ever actually speaking at one of these parties. her eyes seemed doped out, but the smile she gave back was beautiful nonetheless. ranboo doesn't know where she is now either.
after he quickly grows bored of fiddling with the gold cross around his neck, ranboo gets up with a sigh, making his way through the loose clusters of people and ignoring every gentle passive-aggressive shove they may give back to him. once he reaches the small kitchen area he searches the island counter covered in trash for any resemblance of something other than nasty liquor, sighing after all he spots is an empty 2-liter of diet coke.
the next thing he spots is wilbur, sitting up on the dirty counter with some chick between his legs. with the hubbub of the party packing his ears, he watches from afar—but not far enough—as though wilbur was in a movie ranboo completely resented but couldn't stop watching until he saw the end.
he has a beer in one hand while the other strokes a piece of hair behind her ear before then falling to caress her cheek as he says something probably sly and flirtatious and slurred. she giggles at that and one her hands falls way too high up his thigh for it to be accidental. a crooked smirk paints his lips before he kisses her, eyes closing lazily as he does.
ranboo bites the inside of his cheek as if it would keep him from screaming at the top of his lungs to wilbur, instead walking around the island with vexation in his glare. he empties his cup in the sink carelessly enough for it to splash back as his eyes never leave the two right beside him, now tongues deep in each other's mouths.
ranboo would gag at the sight if he wasn't already spitting his next words, they come out calmer than he expected them to but the irritation in his voice is indisputable, "that's really nice, wilbur, super classy. a-hole."
by the time wilbur's befuddled mind can catch the words, ranboo's already pacing away. wilbur ignores the random girl in front of him's complaint as he stumbles after the boy, calling after him to no avail.
in his slur of ranboo's name and unapologetic pleas he says, "you know 's nothin' serious, baby, c'mon. we were never exclusive 'r anything."
ranboo can't help his laugh at that although he's anything but humoured by the other.
the moments in the back of his car or the nights spent sneaking out to a random park to sit and talk, wilbur was more than happy to smile and say how much he loves ranboo, speaking softly about how he always wants ranboo to be his special one for him only. but in moments like these, wilbur chasing after ranboo's forgiveness after doing something shitty for neither the first nor last time, ranboo was never anything special and ranboo was supposed to know this.
but maybe it was ranboo's fault. all ranboo's fault for always believing his 'i love you's and indulging in his 'i'm sorry's.
before ranboo can reach the door he's stopped by a harsh grip on his wrist, turning as he fails to loosen the hand from him, "let go of me, wilbur."
"please, ran, stop actin' like this." wilbur sounds pitiful.
"then maybe stop acting like a douche." ranboo spits back as wilbur's grip grows impossibly tighter. he's uncomfortably amazed at how physically persistent the man can be in such a cross-faded state.
"'m not acting like that, ran, please calm down. 'm sorry, y'know i am." wilbur moves closer and closer until he forces ranboo back against the door—the door that could've been his escape—with a kiss.
with both hands on the man's chest ranboo manages to push wilbur away from him for a moment, muttering, "get- get off-"
wilbur only returns to the other's lips, his hands grabbing ranboo's struggling wrists to pull them away as his weight pins him. with his head trapped against the door ranboo has no way to pull back, something that becomes unbearable when wilbur's tongue threatens to protrude his lips. after some ineffective squirming ranboo gives up and lets his lips part, deciding that letting the serpent wilbur calls his tongue violate his mouth would be better than it forcefully licking at his lips. better, but not by much.
the taste of cheap beer and sketchy weed makes ranboo think he might hurl and he silently prays he does. it would be disgusting and embarrassing but it would at least repel wilbur long enough for ranboo to get out of here before it's too late. but, of course, that doesn't happen, because tonight wasn't a night that was going to go ranboo's way. it never did if wilbur was around.
even if his eyes are squeezed shut he can feel the tears welling in them as his tongue is targeted and swarmed by wilbur's. he can't tell if the tears are due to wilbur's actions, the fact that nobody in this entire place cared to notice, or the burning beginning to boil in his lungs from failing to breathe this entire time.
after much too long wilbur finally lets off ranboo, making sure to never abandon the discomfort he's created by kissing sporadically to every spot across the boy's cheek, jaw and neck that ranboo didn't want to be touched.
ranboo looked up and tried to fight the tears in his eyes the best he could, "wilbur, please stop."
"y'know i love you," wilbur mumbles against his skin, "you know that."
"wil i don't-"
"lemme show ya how much, much love you." wilbur barely makes sense and ranboo doesn't expect him to. he's drunk and high and horny and ranboo clearly cut him off from his fuck of the night, what did he expect? he didn't get out in time so now this is what's going to happen.
"please-" he can't manage to say much else before he's being tugged off the wall and practically shoved into the bathroom, wilbur locking the door and pushing ranboo against the sink counter with another aggressive kiss.
even if ranboo tries he can't find it in him to enjoy how wilbur's tongue caresses his own, there was nothing pleasurable about the tears leaking down his cheeks or the way the counter digs into his thighs while wilbur pins him against it. both fortunately and unfortunately it doesn't last for long before he's being forced onto the toilet lid. wilbur's strength mixed with how much like a ragdoll his body had become made it easy for him to be manhandled.
he doesn't fight wilbur in removing his shirt and even weakly bucks his hips up to help the man get his jeans and boxers off, although wilbur's harsh tugging would've done it successfully either way.
wilbur's hand immediately flies to ranboo's flacid cock, causing the boy to suck in sharply through his teeth at how surprisingly cold his hand was. and as wilbur's dry, icy palm strokes him a few times it sends all the wrong shocks and shivers up his spine. once the man drops to his knees he takes ranboo into his mouth a bit, and ranboo would say that feels better, but it really doesn't.
ranboo bites his bottom lip because the pain of it was the only attempt he could make at keeping himself grounded. or at least keeping himself from freaking the fuck out and pissing wilbur off. since he already knows he wouldn't be able to simply fly away from his current reality, he tries to focus on the little pleasure he's receiving from all this. wilbur's inebriated attempt at a blowjob is messy and almost acrimonious, spiteful even. ranboo jumps a bit every time wilbur's teeth carelessly graze his shaft—something wilbur would most definitely curse ranboo out for if the younger was the one doing it—but eventually, much to wilbur's clear satisfaction, ranboo grows harder.
the man rises to his feet once again, dragging the dirty blonde up by a grip on his hair before connecting their lips. ranboo desperately holds wilbur's arms as if he would immediately fall without the grip.
wilbur then pulls off and replaces the presence of his lips with three of his fingers. ranboo takes them into his mouth and conjures all the saliva he can, knowing full well this was the only lubricant he was getting. while he does his best at properly coating the digits, wilbur's other hand lazily rubs up and down the boy's neck, goosebumps trailing wherever the man touches. and the look of dilated pupils observing through heavily lidded eyes while his lips fight between a smirk and a straight face? ranboo has never wanted to be more invisible.
once the older deems his fingers wet enough he quickly withdraws them, then positioning the boy to face the wall and bend over as much as the tiny bathroom would allow him to.
ranboo can't help the cry he lets out when wilbur forces one of his fingers all the way inside, much too impatient to wait for him to adjust before beginning to push his finger in and out. ranboo slaps a hand over his mouth while the other one braces himself against the wall, almost shouting into his palm when wilbur adds another finger way too soon, beginning to scissor his fingers.
the burning pain of the digits relentlessly moving in and out of him only amplifies when wilbur decides to add a third finger, ranboo unable to control how fast the tears are coming out now. when wilbur finally removes them all together ranboo isn't given much time to recover before wilbur's grabbing his hard-on from his pants and lining it up with ranboo's hole.
ranboo's sure wilbur slightly regrets the lack of lubricant as he pushes in halfway with a grunt, but at least it shows ranboo he wasn't bleeding like he thought. although in the end he's not certain if that's really a good or a bad thing.
when wilbur forces himself in all the way ranboo's back arches as a near-scream leaves his mouth. wilbur shushes him, tenderly saying, "'s okay, love, yer okay." while his grip on ranboo's waist and hair contradict his attempted comforts as he begins slowly thrusting into ranboo.
it only takes a few moments for wilbur to pick up his speed, though, his own precum helping his pace as ranboo's mouth falls open in a silent-scream with his eyes screwed shut. he feels like he's going to pass out from the pain of wilbur intruding his insides over and over again. but he isn't lucky enough to pass out, nor is he lucky enough to drown from all his tears as he's slammed into.
with a face covered in wet tears and snot ranboo's mind can't even think through the pounding pain, leaving his subconscious praying each torturous thrust would be the last. he isn't sure if it's his perception of literally anything being painfully fucked out of him but he thinks this might be the longest wilbur—or anybody—has ever lasted.
after what seems like hours and hours of endless torment he can't even begin to wrap his head around, ranboo can finally find it in him to sniffle when he feels wilbur's thrusts begin to stutter. his thrusts only get messier and messier, making ranboo unsure if his pace being so brutal actually helped tolerate the pain more. luckily, it's not long before wilbur stops entirely.
he's already filled ranboo with half his load by the time he has the reaction of pulling out. his breaths are heavy as he comes down from his high, his dick giving a few last twitches while it softens before he shoves himself back in his pants. almost as soon as wilbur lets go of him, ranboo's knees give out, nearly collapsing to the ground if wilbur hadn't caught him.
"heyheyhey," wilbur helps hold the boy up while one of his hands rests on his tear-soaked cheek, "stay with me, buddy."
ranboo can only look back at the other with weak eyes of sorrow, and as wilbur looks straight back at him, ranboo wishes the man would've just let him pass out on the bathroom floor and left him there. he can physically feel the guilt in the heavy sigh wilbur lets out as he sees the younger. as he sees what he's done to the younger.
"here." he grunts lightly as he places the practically limp boy on the toilet lid, finding his discarded underwear and pulling them back onto ranboo.
wilbur quickly does the button and zipper of his trousers, "i don't think yer feeling too great right now so 'll leave ya be but, uhm," he looks back around as if by looking he'd find something else to say to ease the situation that's only now falling onto him, "my dorm'll be open so-"
wilbur goes to give the other a peck, and for a person who seems so out of it, ranboo is fast in turning his head to the side, the sudden reaction almost seeming like a flinch. wilbur's mind is still hazy but he can feel the aching twist in his chest at the other's reaction. he simply kisses ranboo's cheek instead before standing up straight and sighing again.
ranboo doesn't even have to look to recognize the sound of wilbur digging into his pocket and retrieving his almost empty prescription bottle of benzos, popping the lid, closing the lid, and shoving them back down into his pocket. then there's a rather long pause before the bathroom door finally opens and closes.
ranboo leans over to lock the door behind him, ultimately crashing against the door and staying sat on the floor in the end. his eyes hurt to be open and sting to be closed, but frankly, that's probably the most insignificant pain he feels right now. he couldn't get up if he tried, his bones have never felt so heavy. so he doesn't. he instead sits there, closing his sore eyes and leaning his head back while things ever-so-very-slowly crash down on him.
he sits there, basking in every wave of nausea and new found ache that surfaces in his body, whilst his mind falls through the merciless cycle of having feverish then grim then numb then pensive then aching then once again feverish thoughts.
only god knows how long he sits there like that for. he simply knows that when he finally opens his eyes again they're crusty and blinded by the bathroom lights. it takes him a while to stand without his legs wobbling or his vision blackening. in this time he recognizes that the music from the party outside the door had shut off ages ago.
he almost winces when he sees himself in the mirror and he's not sure why. his face is completely dry of any tears and only mildly irritated. plus he only finds a single small hickey on his neck as any reminders of… yeah.
he wets his face to clean off any tacky residue left of his past suffering and ignores how sore his muscles are as he finds his jeans. he doesn't bother with putting on or grabbing anything else before he shuts off the light and opens the door, seemingly too weak to even think at this point.
with only red plastic cups covering as many surfaces as possible being the only remnants of the party that once was, ranboo examines the still brightly lit area. one half of the couple from earlier is passed out on that same bed with another sleeping person on the bed against the opposing wall. then a final passed out on the ground with a blanket thrown on top of them.
ranboo doesn't even notice the creaking noise his steps on the wooden floor make until they alert someone sitting out on the balcony.
"what are you still doing here?"
ranboo looks over to the soft voice and sees wilb- a friend of someone he knows smiling back at him as she takes a drag at her cigarette. ranboo can't find it in him to say anything, instead walking over through the wide-open sliding door and onto the balcony with her.
the chilly air of the starless night hits ranboo's shirtless torso immediately, but he finds he's too tired to even shiver, so he sits down next to her chair instead.
niki smiles down at the boy she doesn't think she's heard ever say anything besides humming or groaning at wilbur's antics. she enjoys the company, taking another puff before speaking, "did wilbur not take you with him?"
ranboo looks over to her, simply shaking his head 'no' before returning his gaze to the view of the almost fully empty parking lot ahead of them.
"hm. ..well i can't understand him sometimes. are you alright, though?"
before answering ranboo decides to shift, groaning painfully at the sudden ache it sends through his body and immediately reminding him of why he most definitely did not feel alright, whether he was planning on answering the question truthfully or not.
"oh honey," she coos, "is something hurting you?"
ranboo nods firmly, his teeth gritted past his closed lips.
"here let me get you some painkillers." she hands ranboo her cigarette before heading off inside, leaving him silently grateful she didn't just shove it in his mouth like another smoker he knew always did.
she returns quickly with a hand of three dull-red pills while the other holds out a red solo cup with tap water in it. ranboo accepts them graciously and gives her her smoke back before she sits back down. since his throat is still sore ranboo carefully swallows each pill one by one, glad that niki didn't care to point it out.
he takes a few more small drinks from the cup before setting it to the side. it's peacefully quiet, not even the tall light in the corner of the parking lot made an annoying buzz like he expected it to. the balcony is small and the concrete it's made out of is practically freezing, but ranboo still finds it nice. it's funny how nice things can become when you take certain elements—certain people —out of the picture.
"oh, sorry." niki says, ranboo not even realizing what she's apologizing for until he spots her going to put out her cigarette. he hadn't even noticed the way the smoke was hitting his face.
"no no," his voice is much weaker than he expects it to be, but the other hears it just the same, pausing her actions, "i don't mind it. i, uh-" he clears his throat in an attempt to sound not so timid, "actually sorta like it. it's..comforting."
he had always gotten on the other smoker he knew about his habits, constantly complaining about the scent or the smoke. but in reality, it wasn't even the cigarette, it was just the person smoking it. and he hadn't ever realized that until now.
the smell is almost homely—even if his actual home wouldn't be caught dead reeking of tobacco—and he likes the way it fills his nostrils with every calm breath he takes. plus, in the cold night, the loose muddle of smoke the cigarette emanates creates more warmth for ranboo than it actually did physically.
niki abides by his wishes and continues smoking the rest of the white stick. when she drags it down to nothing but the filter, she taps it out before grabbing another and lighting it, sighing out the first puff of a new—but still unfortunately stale—cigarette.
after a while ranboo feels gentle fingers caress his hair and practically melts at the touch, silently begging for more and being granted another wish when the fingers stroke through his locks again.
"you have such pretty hair, so soft." her voice has to be the most angelic thing ranboo's ever heard.
ranboo takes the opportunity to scoot even closer to her as her hand continues to card through his hair, ultimately resting his head on her thigh with a small and partially broken sigh. they stay like that for a long while, the younger trying to breathe as calmly as he can in the moment as niki's fingers continue their threading, her other hand continuing to bring the cigarette to her lips every so often.
ranboo wants this moment to be the one to last forever.
eventually he breaks the perfect silence, "can i stay here tonight?"
"hm?" his voice is so small she can just barely make out what he said, "oh sweetie this isn't even my dorm room.."
her words fade when ranboo gently grabs the hand that had temporarily rested on his neck while she spoke. while never letting go of her hand, he moves it off of him so he can lift his head and look up at niki through teary eyes.
"can i stay here tonight?"
it hurts to see, but she doesn't let herself falter.
she puts her cigarette down and uses that hand to hold his cheek instead, having to stop herself from audibly cooing at the way the boy nuzzles into the touch. she squeezes his hand gently and nods as she watches another tear fall from his eye into her palm.
"thank you."