Chapter Text
Jake was sure, like he was of the color of the sky, that he was going to have to be alone.
He wound up in foster care at four years old, he barely remembered his parents and with each day that passed the memories faded. They told him they died in an accident and there was no one else to take care of him. Now, he knew that was a lie, there were relatives, a simple search in his teens proved that, they just didn't want him. Well, fuck them.
There were foster homes and sometimes couples that would look at him with a friendly smile and ask if he wanted to be their son. He was polite and well behaved but there seemed to be something about him that just displeased them, because right when he thought he was finally going to have a family, they gave him back. Like a broken thing you return for a refund. It happened one too many times and then he started pushing everyone away on purpose.
He would rather be alone than be bounced around only to be discarded again and again.
When couples looking to adopt would visit, he would try to make himself invisible, tired of being disappointed. At some point, they stopped looking at him, most people wanted young children and he got too old to be adopted.
That's when every hope he had of not being alone was extinguished. He learned to live with it.
Time passed and he lived his days with the other kids, they didn't talk to him much, he didn't try either, he sat by himself reading old Superman comics. Growing accustomed to solitude.
Ten years old and he already knew it was him against the world. He was ready to spend the next eight years alone until he could finally be free to be... well, alone somewhere else.
Lara Seresin. She appeared like an angel with her hazel eyes and flowy dark hair.
He sat cross-legged on the corner, he didn't need to try to be invisible anymore, no one paid attention to him. And the ones that did were warned not to bother.
Her voice was very soft when she introduced herself. The first thing he latched onto was her name, the same as Superman's Kryptonian mother, it's wonderful how a child's mind works, to this day, he smiled at that fact. That prompted him to look at her.
She sat in front of him and asked him questions, she did not take a different tone of voice and didn't talk to him like he was stupid. He both liked and hated that. He hated how much she made him long for something he had given up.
He was harsh, asking why she couldn't get a husband when she said she was single. He was just owning up to the insufferable brat people thought him to be.
She didn't leave right away and she answered it, even though he didn't really want to know. When she left, he knew that was it and he went back to being by himself.
But, she came back, many times. One day she brought him some new comics, after he told her he read the same ones all the time. He was surprised she actually listened to his mumbled replies.
He started to look forward to her visits, he didn't want to, it would only hurt more when she disappeared from his life, but he couldn't help it. Her smile was kind and warm and Jake had been cold for years.
One day, they sat on the old swing set outside and she said the words that changed his life.
"I would really like to be your mother, Jake. If you'll have me." He didn't answer at first, his mind was trying to catch up to it. She was actually letting him have a choice.
She nervously fiddled with a strand of her hair. "I don't know how to be a mom, honestly. But, I want to take care of you and I promise, I'll do my absolute best."
All he could do was nod, even though he was sure it wouldn't last, even though he was resigned to be alone, he had hope again.
Lara said he could choose the space he wanted, before they even got to her house, before she even spent a whole day with him, she let him walk around for hours choosing furniture, wallpaper and toys. When they finally arrived at her place, she led him to his room. She had written his name on the door with beautiful cursive and drew Superman on it, herself. She was an artist and she worked doing illustrations on children's books, she had told him. The bedroom was actually his, he didn't remember when was the last time he had something that belonged to him, and it felt more so after she helped set it up. She tucked him in that night and he felt... cozy, he held back his tears.
She spent so much time and money on him, maybe this would be different. He wanted it to be.
He tried to be good. He kept to himself while she worked in her office, he mostly sat in his room reading. Sometimes she would tell him to watch TV and he would make sure to keep the volume low, so it wouldn't disturb her. He didn't say anything when he felt hungry, he would always wait until she called him to eat.
One evening, she came into the living room with her eyes wide. "Jake, I'm so sorry. I lost track of time, you must be starving." She was running her hands through her hair frantically. "God, I'm awful." She said it quietly but he heard it anyway.
"It's fine. I'm not that hungry." He made sure to tell her. They went out to eat that night and she asked him to let her know if she forgets meal times again. "I'm a little absent-minded, but I'm working on it." She had said. He didn't need to, he heard the alarm clock go off in her office when it was time to eat. She started taking longer breaks from work, too, sitting with him on the couch, sometimes chatting or watching cartoons, sometimes letting him read.
Every night he went to bed dreading the day he would be without all that. For months, he waited for the other shoe to drop, for the moment she realized she made a mistake in choosing him, like the others did.
He was trying to help out after dinner, putting the dishes in the sink, to make himself useful when he dropped a glass and it shattered. He burst into tears, apologizing while trying to pick up the pieces.
She shouted at him not to touch it and he expected more to follow, expected her to grab him, drag him to her car and back to being alone. But he felt her arms around him, picking him up from his crouched position and bringing him to the couch. She put him on her lap and stroked his hair.
"I'm sorry I yelled. I didn't want you to hurt yourself." She kept whispering that it was okay. "It's just a glass, Jake. It's alright."
"Don't give me back." He pleaded quietly.
Soft hands grasped his cheeks, wiping his tears away. "Jake, you are my son. Now and always. I'm not taking you anywhere."
With time, he started to believe her. And he started to actually feel... loved. She was hesitant to touch him, at first, always asking if it was okay. One day he finally had the courage to say 'I like when you hug me.' and then he was showered with affection like never before. Turns out, Lara was a very touchy person and surprisingly, Jake liked it a lot. She would always press kisses to his temple, or run her fingers through his hair, she would hug him at every chance she got.
One morning, he went to the kitchen and saw her frying bacon, even though she did not eat it, she was making it for him. She turned around to greet him and without overthinking, he did the one thing he had been wanting to for a while, he hugged her tight. Her arms wrapped around him instantly.
"Good morning, mom." He probably had said it before, to his birth mother, but the word still felt foreign on his lips.
Lara, his mom, sniffled. "Good morning, sweetie. You hungry?"
The sky was still blue, but he was not alone anymore. With her, he had a home.
When he started going to school, he was nervous and he made the mistake of mentioning on his first day that he was adopted, when the teacher asked him to introduce himself. He was naive. That only invited stupid mocking, but he wasn't just going to sit there and do nothing.
"My mom chose me, yours is stuck with you." He said and the idiot kid told on him. His mom was asked to talk to the teacher when she came to pick him up.
He sat quietly on the ride back, expecting a scolding.
Lara's voice was as soft as always when she spoke. "Did you really say that?"
"Yeah." He kept his head down.
"That's not a nice thing to say, Jake. Doesn't matter if it's true." He turned to look at her and she gave him a smile. He returned it.
She shook her head. "I shouldn't say that, I'm still learning this mom thing." He sometimes saw her reading parenting books, he didn't understand why. She was perfect.
"You are the best mom ever."
He noticed her eyes were shiny with unshed tears when she glanced his way. "Don't distract me. Look, there are things we think but don't say, okay?"
"Okay." He did follow that advice until he got into the Academy, then he started saying pretty much anything he wanted. But, that was on him, really.
His mom was an anomaly. The exception. He didn't expect anyone else to like him, let alone love him. She was all he needed, anyway. He wouldn’t bother making the effort to get to know others for them to leave.
Despite his tendency to be by himself, he managed to befriend two kids in school that he actually liked, but they lost contact after they went to college and he got into flight school. Now that he was grown, he understood that sometimes people just drifted away, but he still didn't like losing anyone he once cared for.
It was hard when he was deployed, he missed his mom, of course. But he found he missed contact in general, he'd gotten too used to it. He tried making friends with his colleagues, but he just didn't know how, it was harder as an adult. And the grand majority of people seemed to dislike him easily. He accepted it, like he did as a kid.
The habit of keeping others at bay was one he couldn't quite shake and also the one he clung to.
Then Javy came along. For some reason, Javy just stuck by him. He was grateful and he knew that was it, two people that cared for him were two more than he thought he would ever have.
It was a shame they weren't deployed together, he could have used Coyote's companionship on this assignment.
He usually could, at least, hold up small talk with his colleagues. They wouldn't leave as friends for life, but they could talk while on the ship.
This one was horrible. He couldn't keep a conversation with a single one of them. He didn't click with anyone and he had tried. Jake liked solitude, but sometimes it morphed into loneliness. It took a while, but he was feeling it creeping in, making him crave contact, a nice conversation or a simple pat on his back.
His commanding officer probably took pity on him, saw the others talking in a group and settled near where he was.
Rear Admiral Kerner. Callsign Slider.
He wondered why a man ranks above him even bothered, but it made his days pass faster. The man was a riot. Jake actually liked talking to him. He had many stories to tell, that's for sure. But, he didn't hog the whole conversation, he listened to him, too.
When they were back on land, his squadron was heading out to a bar nearby. They didn't invite him and he wasn't gonna go anyway. His flight left tomorrow afternoon, he only needed to find a place to crash until he could go visit his mom. These days, she lived in New York.
"You're not going out, kid?" Slider asked him. If anyone else called him kid, it would grind his gears, but the way the Admiral said it wasn't condescending, it was almost fond, so he didn't mind. "C'mon, you're back stateside, you should have a drink, have some fun."
"With those morons? No, thanks." The Admiral actually barked out a laugh.
"I'm meeting a couple friends of mine. Want to join?" Talking to him while on the job was one thing, but an invitation into his personal life? He did not expect that.
"I wouldn't want to impose."
"Nonsense. We'll drink and play some cards." The tall man put his hand over his shoulders and started steering him away before he even answered. So, Jake went.
One of his friends lived not very far, and there was a car waiting for the Admiral already. It didn't take too long for them to arrive.
A guy with a cowboy hat opened the door to them, took one look at him and smirked. "Let me guess, he's one of your long lost children?"
"Fuck you, Wolf." Slider hugged his friend anyway, then introduced him. He was led to a big kitchen, the table was set up with cards and poker chips. There was another man sitting down.
"Hangman. That's Hollywood."
He received a nod from the man. "Slider, why did you drag him with you? He doesn't want to hang out with us, old geezers." Hollywood said while shuffling the cards.
Slider sat down and waved his arm, telling him to do the same. He did, a little reluctantly. Maybe, he should have declined. It felt awkward to crash a get together of people that seemed to be friends for so long. "He thinks the younglings are morons, I thought he would have more fun with us."
Wolfman put a beer in front of him and sat down, too. Jake thanked him, then took a swing of it, feeling the cold liquid slide down his throat and himself relax.
"Is Mav coming?" Slider asked.
"Yeah. I said if he bailed on us again, I was going to hunt him down."
"What about Ice?" Hollywood ate a handful of peanuts.
Slider shook his head. "Busy."
The moment he heard that call sign, he blurted out. "Ice? The Iceman?"
Hollywood snorted. "Good thing he isn't here, he would have puffed up his chest like a peacock at being called thee. His ego doesn't need stroking."
Wolfman pushed his hat up. "But, yes, he is the one you're thinking about. We were all at Top Gun together. Slider was his RIO."
"Really?" Jake must have heard something about it in passing, but he didn't connect the dots.
"People really forgot about you, huh, Slider?"
Slider only gave Wolfman the finger.
"You kept in touch all these years? That's nice." He really hoped his friendship with Javy would also withstand the test of time. He was someone he didn't want to lose.
"Sometimes life gets in the way, but we try."
They played a little blackjack while they waited for their other friend to arrive. Jake started to feel at ease with them, joining in on the jokes.
There was a rumble of a motorcycle outside and Wolfman got up the moment he heard it. He walked back in with a man trailing behind him. Jake meant to glance at him then finish his text, but the man had a very distinctive presence. Jake's attention was swiftly drawn to him, he was very nice to look at...
Green eyes landed on him and Jake opened his mouth to introduce himself, but the man turned to Slider. "Who is this?" He asked like Jake was not in the room. Huh, what a dick. Good looking, but a dick, nonetheless.
"Hangman." He said loud and clear before Slider could answer. His days of trying to be invisible were over. The man turned to him then, his eyes raked over his form for a split second, but Jake noticed. He raised an eyebrow, but there was no response, he just nodded without introducing himself, manners were nowhere to be found then, and walked around him to the last vacant chair, by his side.
"This is Maverick." Slider was the one that gave him a name. He held back a scoff, what a pretentious call sign, it seemed to have gone to his head. Slider pointed at him. "You should see Hangman fly. It reminded me a little of you, Mav."
Maverick started taking his jacket off. "Is that so?" Jake did not like his tone. It was flat, like he couldn't consider someone being as good as him for even a second. Hangman could say the same thing. Slider meant it as a compliment, but Jake trusted his abilities enough to be way better than a fossil.
"In your prime, I mean." Slider smirked and he felt the corner of his mouth turn up, too.
Maverick finished taking off his jacket, draping in on the back of the chair, arms flexing when he leaned on it. "This is my prime."
He managed to roll his eyes inwardly only at Maverick's self assured smirk. This guy needed an ego check, that's for sure. Still, he was stuck between being annoyed and attracted to his confidence. He didn't know about his flying skills, but, Jake couldn't help but notice that his looks backed that statement up. His white t-shirt was tight and boy, did he look good. Maverick walked towards the fridge and his jeans were somehow even tighter, fuck, hugging his plump ass, leaving very little to the imagination, although Jake was imagining. He didn't realize he craned his neck to keep watching him until he heard the snickers.
"The kid has heart eyes already." Hollywood teased.
Jake turned back around, feeling unusually embarrassed. "What? No, I don't."
"It's alright, I get it. You think he's good looking now? You should have seen him back at Top Gun." Wolfman took a swig of his beer.
The others nodded in agreement.
Slider turned to him. "I was never attracted to guys, but twenty something Mav? I'd have gone for it."
"I'm flattered, Sli, but you're not my type." Maverick called out on his way back. Jake wasn't sure if he wanted the man to know he was checking him out or not. He sat back down and green eyes flickered to his. "I like 'em real pretty."
He felt a thrill go down his spine.
That buzz spread to his whole body when they started to play. He was good at poker and so was Maverick, they were the ones that kept winning the most.
When the other three folded, they pushed their chairs to one side of the table, him and the other man adjusted theirs so they were face to face, staring at each other with a challenge. Their audience was watching at the edge of their seats as the stakes (and the tension) kept rising.
Maverick matched his raise with a smug smirk on his lips. "I don't want to take all your money, kid. But you're making it easy." He wanted to make him choke on that 'kid' and on something else, while he was at it.
"Your mind is probably a little slow, Pops, you can't see the hole you dug yourself in." He tapped his fingers on the back of his cards, he had something really good. He was confident but so was Maverick. The others said he was used to winning and cleaning up on their games, but Jake was going to change that.
"You should quit while you can." Maverick's eyes did not leave his for a second and his face gave nothing away.
The room was quiet when he pushed all his chips to the center of the table. "All in." He slung one arm over his chair and waited. Green eyes were burning with something he couldn't quite place. It could be anything from anger at losing or the certainty of a win. Or something else. Jake himself was feeling a lot of things.
Maverick was thinking on his next move and he could hear the other three on the sidelines.
"I'm getting a hard-on." Wolfman whispered. Jake was almost on the same boat.
"Don't tease me." He heard Hollywood say.
"I think I'm gonna make my own bet." Slider sounded like he knew something no one did. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw him drink his beer with a grin.
Maverick slowly leaned forward and pushed all his chips in, too. "Show me." Now, he knew the man had something good, also. It was only a matter of whose hand was better.
Jake turned his cards upwards setting them on the table. He had four eights and a King of Spades. There were only two other options that could beat him.
Maverick glanced at the cards and smiled. Jake was conflicted, he thought it meant he lost, still he liked that smile a lot. The man showed his own cards and it was not better than his. Jake won.
"Good game." Maverick did not seem angry at losing, just glad to have had a thrilling round. "You're good." This smile was soft.
Jake grinned. "I know."
Maverick got up and settled close to him, Jake had to tilt his head up to look at him. "You owe me a rematch." There was a glint in his eyes that made him want to take him up on it so bad.
"You're invited to all our next games, Hangman." Wolfman clasped him on the shoulders. "I like seeing Mav sweat."
"Sure."
It was only the beginning.