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lust over love (love over morals)

Summary:

Chay's in for a surprise when his brother's out on a hunt and his soon-to-be boyfriend is hiding a secret that elicits more than just a lover's spat.
 
or

The fic where Chay's a badass vampire hunter and learns that the love of his life isn't...human

Notes:

This one might be a lil messed up, not terribly so but haha (;^ω^)just some moral ambiguity and inner emotional turmoil, I swear it's mild

Chay's like 19/20 here and it's mostly in his pov. Chay hates vamps okay, and says some mean things like they're the reason for everything wrong in his life.

I may get around to writing the KinnPorsche half but it's not mandatory for context. I played around with different tenses and it's been a while since I wrote something like this so I'm super sorry if it gets confusing. I'm not familiar with writing with Thai honorifics so I left them out but please excuse any errors. The mature rating is to be safe.

Also I feel like that title is so dramatic but I drew a blank

This is fiction about fiction, I hope you enjoy <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Chay's head feels delightfully fuzzy, like it does every time he kisses Kim. He's probably kissed the man countless times but each time sets a pleasant daze in his mind and a heady feeling of want that takes him a few seconds to regain from afterwards. It should be concerning really, Chay'd even confessed to being in love with the man. Kim hadn't said it back but he smiled fondly and kissed Chay sweetly. Time passed and they grew closer, something close to 'boyfriends' and Chay had grown weak, quietly wanting Kim to admit he loved him back so badly. Like now, they were sitting on the couch in Chay and Porsche's living room, not a care in the world, lazily making out as the movie Chay had chosen plays in the background. The only light in the room came from the TV screen and the kitchen. Chay smiles through the kiss, blissfully thinking 'I love you. , God I really do'.

And everything had been quiet in terms of his brother, and after a few weeks of not hearing from Porsche (which was a good sign), his nerves settled enough to let his guard down. A terrible fault on his part he soon came to realise.

Everything had been going well.

It had been going to plan so far.

There was no cause for alarm since the last incident four months ago where Porsche had come barrelling home at minutes to three in the morning.

Chay had only been awake because he'd become thirsty enough that he couldn't sleep through it. He'd been sat on the old but comfy couch, the usual blanket left there draped across his legs and he stared into nothing while sipping his water. Half of him had wanted to wait up to greet his brother before sunrise and the other half knew it was pointless. Porsche used to rarely come home so early in the morning, usually shuffling through the door a couple of hours before Chay had to be at university.

So when he did in fact arrive, just as Chay had gotten up to head back upstairs, blanket tossed haphazardly over the back of the couch, the ruckus Porsche made as he shoved open the gate and ran up to the door was enough for Chay to be jolted fully awake. Chay had rounded the couch to stay hidden from immediate line of sight, rushed footsteps echoed in the otherwise quiet night and he held his breath, eyes trained on the door.

"Chay!" Porsche had yelled as soon as he barged in and as the younger had quickly assessed his brother wasn't actively being chased, he rushed up to him to inspect him. A million thoughts had run through his mind, why was Porsche so frantic? Was he being chased? Did they need to leave?

"What's wrong, what's wrong?" Chay had asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

Porsche had snatched his wrist and dragged him to the kitchen. "Hia-"

"Change of plans," Porsche had supplied, and it hadn't taken long for Chay to understand but he couldn't make out if his brother was happy or not with the turn of events.

"Why, what happened?" He had tried again, forcing more urgency into his voice. "Are you being chased?" Chay needed to know, immediately, and then he'd know how to move next.

"No, no I'm fine," Porsche had waved his hand and Chay let out a sigh of relief. Thank god, Chay hadn't thought he had the capacity to make a run for it right now, of course, if the situation was dire Porsche wouldn't have had to ask him twice. He sighed, tiredness had begun to seep into his bones again and he walked over to the coffee pot to make some coffee. He figured whatever had been going on, Porsche would debrief him very soon, despite having been 3 in the goddamn morning.

"We need to go at a different angle, on my way here I drafted up a new plan. I-"

"Hia," Chay had called, pulling him out of his rambling before it got too far, and placed a hot mug in his hands.

"Start from the top," Chay perched on the edge of the dining table with his own mug.

First, Porsche had taken several gulps of the still piping hot coffee, Chay grimaced, positive he was going to complain of a burnt tongue later on.

Then he explained.

From his usual night at the bar bartending, Chay had asked about Yok who was doing just great, and when he had a smoke break, Chay scowled disapprovingly, and then his bump into Anakinn Theerapanyukul.

"The vampire mafia?" Chay had choked in shock.

"The Goddamn vampire mafia."

Chay had rested his empty cup next to his thigh. "I don't know, Hia," He said suspiciously. They had been thinking the same thing, that was one hell of a coincidence.

A week prior they had revisited their parents' plan to take down the Theerapanyukul family, and then Porsche ended up saving the heir's life in the dirty alley of the bar he worked at? Had they somehow tipped someone off? Impossible.

"And what do you mean you saved his life? He's a vampire, he should be able to protect himself. And what-"

"He had a wound in his abdomen," Porsche has clarified. "Silver blade, I imagine. It's the only thing that makes sense, he genuinely seemed hurt."

Chay looks at him like he wasn't convinced. "Hell of a coincidence," he had said tiredly.

Porsche sighed but nodded in agreement, he looked just as tired as Chay had felt that morning, and he rubbed a hand over his face.

"And no one followed you here?" Chay had asked again and Porsche nodded with a reassuring smile.

Chay had then inhaled and exhaled deeply, hopped off the table and stretched. With a look of determination, he returned to the coffee maker and had said, "Alright, new plan, go."

 

So when he received an out-of-the-blue phone call from Yok on a Saturday night four months later, he was already on edge. His ringer had been on, startling the couple and causing Chay to pull away first. The daze was hard to shake even as anxiety rose in his chest from the caller ID. And then there had been no hiding the fact that he untangled himself from Kim to answer the call. Chay hadn't gone upstairs for privacy though, instead, he had stepped quickly into the kitchen.

 

"How are you even calling me?" Chay lowers his voice when he realises it's his brother on the other end and not Yok. His eyes flit up to the man slouched on his couch, the glare of the television screen lighting up the sharp planes of his profile and he scrolled through his own phone.

He looked relaxed and didn't seem to be listening in but Chay could never be too cautious, and Porsche calling him when he strictly said he absolutely could not talk over the phone about 'the plan' because all of the phone calls in that damn mansion were recorded, was alarming. He also didn't want Kim overhearing him saying something weird. He really like him, he didn't want to scare him off.

"I'm at Yok's," Porsche provides like it wasn't obvious, Chay barely squashes down the frustrated response, his nerves jittery and disorientated still, and he cups his hand over his mouth and speaker. "I know that Hia, but how ?"

"I convinced Tankhun and the others to go clubbing," and Chay hears the slight slur in his tone, a bit flippant, was he drunk? Chay inhales, exhales a few times trying to clear his mind, and stresses in a low voice, "Why are you calling?"

"Right," like he only now remembers. "I still haven't met the third brother, but I've seen his portraits around and-" Porsche cuts off abruptly and sounds like he trips over something, he curses.

Chay switches gears to try and get some kind of information. He goes as far into the kitchen as possible and whispers angrily, "Why are Tankhun and Anakinn still alive, Hia? It's been 4 months, this hunt shouldn’t take this long."

'This isn't just any hunt' his brain supplies. It was the same hunt that had killed their parents.

His and Porsche's parents, and their uncle, had tried to take down the Theerpanyukuls, back when Korn Theerpanyukul was in his prime and his wife headed the mafia beside him. Chay's parents had been the ones who killed her, beheaded her, but there had been a slip-up in the plan and they'd died in that mansion. Porsche had always refused to explain the details of their death to Chay, he'd been so young at the time and the memory of their parents was so distant. But their uncle, who'd somehow escaped in the chaos like the coward he was, had told Chay years later in a fit of drunken grief. He'd been pretty young still, barely making it to double digits.

Chay had never told Porsche that he knew though. He'd kept the nightmares and the mind-numbing fear of vampires to himself, and he grew up terrified of nightfall when he was outside the safety of his home. Then he'd turned thirteen, and Porsche couldn't keep hiding the world from him. With Porsche, he'd grown out of his fears and his brother raised him to be a hunter like him, following their family lineage. They came from a long line of hunters but after their parents' deaths, the two brothers and their uncle had been the remaining members of the hunting family. At first, Porsche had wanted nothing to do with the trade, he despised vampires to no end but when he found that he couldn't do much with this anger without hunting, he'd started again. He had tried to keep Chay out of it but it was never going to last. He trained him to be as good as him, in hopes of Chay being better. By sixteen Chay had gone on his first hunt, he had to basically beg Porsche to let him tag along, and when he still said no, Chay had snuck along anyway. The memory of the earful he got makes him laugh to this day.

Chay, like his brother, hated vampires. He absolutely despised them. The hate he felt was a combination of his brother's, and the emptiness in their home they had to grow up with. The aching feeling of missing something you hardly had but still did, if only for a brief moment. Vampires were the reason for Porsche and Chay being orphaned. They were selfish depraved monsters, that were soulless and ran rampant in Bangkok like vermin. Chay doesn't think he's ever come across a vampire and left it alive. They were annoying, like mosquitos, technically they were but in human bodies, Chay used to laugh at that when he was younger. What sucked the most, was that the strongest and most dangerous vampires were the most prolific, and protected.

They lived among humans, it wasn't a whispered myth or a forbidden truth. They were spoken about on the news, mostly related to crime like they too were humans but other than that, the public chose not to acknowledge it. Chay would always scoff in disgust as the news anchor relayed the censored but still graphic details of vampire victims but Porsche wouldn't allow him to change the channel in case they said something useful.

When Porsche first started teaching him he had said that vampires were placed into two categories.

Old money and rogues.

Old money vampires were your politicians, your wealthy heirs and heiresses, and basically, the most elite of the elite in Bangkok.

The less unfortunate, and usually the ones hunters took care of most, were the rogue vampires. Those who break away from their specific coven and create their own nests. Shelters for young adults and runaway kids were swarmed with them.

The Theerapanyukuls, Chay learnt of, were the most powerful Mafia family in Thailand, and was also the largest vampire coven in Bangkok.

There was the immediate family. Korn Theerpanyukul, who'd stepped down from his reign recently. The eldest son, Tankhun, the second, Anakinn who was his father's successor, and the third, who few even knew existed. Then they had hundreds of staff, bodyguards and servants.

There was also the second family consisting of Gun Theerpanyukul and his two sons, with their own staff and guards, but Porsche didn't put too much strain on them. That elder son was a nightmare though, Chay wouldn't mind putting a silver bullet in his head.

"Cut the head off and the body dies." Porsche had said when he laid out the new plan to Chay.

The younger tsked, "or two more grow back."

Porsche's first plan had been he pose as a delivery man to get into the estate, Chay had asked if he was crazy but really, there wasn't another opening. Porsche had been watching them for months quietly before bringing it up to Chay. There were frequent deliveries done, three times a week and always at the same time but three different delivery drivers. Mondays was a tall woman that always had her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wednesdays was a slim man, that looked quite young and wore his delivery hat backwards. And Thursdays was a tall man, similar in build to Porsche, and Porsche had thought that that was perfect, or as perfect as it would get.

His plan was all riding on the guards not realising he wasn't the usual Thursday guy with his cap and face mask hiding his features, and if they did realise, he had the age-old excuse of, 'Boss called me in last minute, your previous guy was sick' and he doesn't even want to think how that could go wrong.

The new plan though, the one that seemed to come out of nowhere, and the longer Chay had looked at Porsche pointedly the more Porsche had realised how coincidental it all truly was, didn't put Porsche's neck on the line from the get-go, kind of.

Anakinn, Kinn, requested, more like outright demanded that Porsche work for him. He was impressed by Porsche's fighting skills, maybe even a bit suspicious. It wasn't a secret that vampire hunters existed but the brothers had managed to stay under the radar their entire hunting lives. And when Porsche realised who he was dealing with, the quick flash of a family crest was enough to make his heartbeat quicken, he couldn't just let this opportunity pass him by, right?

So Porsche filled Chay in on the interaction as per his request.

"A bodyguard?" Chay had stressed the syllables. "A human bodyguard, for a vampire?!" His voice had gone shrill. "Are you crazy?!"

"Chay, you don't understand. This is a chance for me to get inside without any risk."

Chay had looked hostile but before he throttled his brother he'd closed his eyes and squeezed the cold coffee mug in his hands. He then said slowly, "Okay, so in and out. You'll be done in no time. Then we have to flee the country because they're going to have your face on file. And they're going to know it's you because-"

"I can't just go in and out," Porsche had cut him off and Chay had made a loud noise of irritation.

"And why not?"

"Because I need to gain their trust to be able to get Anakinn alone long enough for me to take him out. And what if I could take out the eldest and the father too? Chay-"

"Then I'm coming with you," Chay had said determined, he knew how much this hunt had meant to Porsche, and he would never have tried to talk him out of it. But he could have prevented him from walking into a suicide mission.

"No." His tone had been final but Chay wouldn't have been his brother's brother if he wasn't stubborn.

"Yes. I'm coming with you, if I have to pose as a maid so be it. You are not doing this alone."

"Porchay-"

"Porsche!" Chay had yelled before he could stop himself, his tone was exasperated but you could hear the underlying fear and desperation.

He inhaled and started slowly, "You are not, you can not, go into the same place that our parents were killed like fucking cattle alone. I will not allow it, so help me god, Hia." His voice had been shaking towards the end with grief and protectiveness.

Chay's eyes had shone with unshed tears, and Porsche sighed. He'd gotten up from his seat and tugged Chay into a tight hug. Chay pressed his forehead to his brother's shoulder and could hardly breathe from how hard Porsche squeezed him but he hadn't dared complain.

"I can't lose you too," He had whispered, and Porsche swallowed around the lump in his throat, he'd thought the same.

 

Somehow Porsche had convinced Chay to let him do this on his own. Now, Chay was deeply regretting it.

"Why are Tankhun and Anakinn still alive, Hia? It's been 4 months, a hunt has never taken this long," he hisses.

"I can't rush this Chay, one slip up and I'm dead," Chay knows that, the thought makes him nauseous.

"Why are you calling?" he asks again, feeling defeated and Porsche's tone lifts, a bit chipper for what he says next.

"Do you remember that idol that you’re obsessed with?"

Chay's eyebrows furrow in confusion and the arbitrary question.

"M'not obsessed-"

"Well baby bro, sorry to break it to you, but your idol,” he inhales. “Is our third mystery mafia prince. Khimhant-"

Chay’s heart stops.

For about 2 beats, then it rapidly speeds up and he can feel it hammering in his chest. He swallows thickly, and his silence worries Porsche for a moment, he calls, “Chay?”

“Hia,” his voice cracks. He side-eyes Kim, mafia prince, fucking vampire, sitting in his living room, gaze now focused on the television screen.

The vampire who he just kissed. Who he's been-

Oh no

“Ah I’m sorry Chay, I know you liked him a lot, aish” Porsche trails off, like he should sound empathetic but would rather not.

“But, well, Chay. The plan-“

“I know,” Chay bites out, he’s feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now. He sees Kim turn his head towards him at the tone of his voice and he quickly turns away. There's a jolt of fear in his chest that Kim could have been hearing him the whole time, was sitting there amused while he heard Chay conspire with his brother to kill his family. That display of confidence makes Chay even more worried now.

Fuck

Chay should’ve known better.

He should have fucking known better.

“I know, Hia,” he repeats softly, eyes screwing shut.

“Can I trust you to stick to the plan?” Porsche’s voice is firmer now, no hint of inebriety, ensuring that Chay understands that the third Theerapanyukul son being Chay's sacred idol doesn't change anything.

“Yes…” his response is weak, and Porsche asks again.

“Porchay. Can I trust you to stick to the plan?” Careful and calculated. Oh, if Porsche only knew who was just a few feet away in their family home. Their parents were rolling in there graves right about now.

Every little detail Chay had seen but chose to ignore, god it was glaring right at him. The black opaque tumbler cup with matching black straw that Kim had with him on mornings, like it was coffee. The suspicion that the jewellery he wore wasn't actually silver. It must have been some other expensive harmless metal, he could surely afford it.

'Generational mafia money. Blue bloods' Porsche's old teachings echo.

Even though now Chay is sure if he cut Kim he’d bleed black.

“Chay?” Porsche’s tone takes on one of growing concern at his uncharacteristic quietness, like he was two seconds away from leaving Yok's and hightailing it back home.

Chay inhales deeply and shoves every good emotion he had towards Kim to the back burner.

“Yes, you can trust me.”

_____

The call ends, and Chay doesn't tell Porsche that Kim is literally right there. Not without setting the vampire off and especially when he's not armed. There are silver knives in the drawer but his nerves don't have him confident he could draw one fast enough.

He has two options.

He can drop everything and leave and head to Yok's, but that would only raise suspicion and blow his brother’s cover. Or he can continue to play house with Kim, both mutually understanding that they could kill each other in a second but choose to ignore it for now.

Then there was the chance of Chay stepping back into the living room and Kim spilling his blood over their water-stained coffee table.

That last one was absolutely not an option.

Chay swallows thickly, eyes boring holes into the back of Kim's head. He knows the vampire can feel it but he doesn't turn around. Chay can't even entertain a third option. The one where he kills Kim, like he's supposed to, like he promised Porsche he would. Because he really, really liked him. He loves him-what is wrong with him?

Chay clenches his teeth and screws his eyes shut to stifle the torn cry he wants to let out. He startles when he opens them to see Kim staring at him from his seat.

"Are you okay, darling?" The pet name that usually makes his heart flutter makes him want to scream.

He exhales quick and short before smiling brightly. Option two it is.

"Yes, I'm okay," he shuffles back to the couch. He feels like a hairpin trigger when he sits next to Kim.

Kim smiles at him softly before leaning over with the aim of resuming their makeout session. Chay lets him, except this time his heart is racing for a completely different reason. Chay finds it odd that Kim hasn't even asked about the phone call and his weird behaviour, ' because he already knows', his thoughts race.

Kim reconnects their lips, pulling Chay till the younger falls into his lap, smiling against his mouth. Chay feels the world shift and suddenly he's on his back, head resting on one of the pillows, Kim pressing him further into the couch, and Chay can feel him everywhere. He stutters around an exhale and Kim’s smile turns wicked. That's when Chay feels it, sharp fangs graze his bottom lip, and everything crashes down in his mind. Chay lets out a mix of a panicked and angry yelp.

Without missing a beat Kim's face darts to Chay's throat and Chay outright screams in pure panic. The ghost of teeth against where his carotid artery is, the most vulnerable part of him to show a vampire, has his hands flying up to grip Kim’s hair. How many times had he done that unknowingly? In bed, arched up and neck bared in submission that would make the old Chay’s skin crawl. Kim’s hands grip Chay’s waist possessively, pulling him impossibly close and Chay clenches his teeth hard enough to break.

The knowledge that Chay could die any second now has his nerves going haywire. He was feeling too much. Sheer terror, panic, anger, unadulterated desire. God, he doesn’t know what he’d do if Kim fed from him, doesn’t want to know what the venom feels like, no matter how euphoric it was described to be. He’s heard the stories of humans practically selling themselves as warm blood bags to vampires because of their venom addiction.

Kim takes the hands in his hair as a challenge and presses harder, and he’s too strong, Chay squeaks and the back of his head presses uncomfortably deeper into the couch, his head hurts, to try and get as far away as possible. But then the press of teeth is blunt this time and Chay sighs in relief. He’s breathing deeply with the looming threat of sharp teeth gone, for now.

He tries to gather his bearings.

It proves difficult when Kim continues to bite and suck harshly along the expanse of his throat, one of his hands coming up to force Chay’s head back, further exposing himself. Chay’s mind grows fuzzy with pleasure.

Fuck, could vampire venom be given transdermally? Is that why being with Kim felt like that? Like he was insatiable, desperate, Fuck, fuck-

His heart feels like it's ready to give out. Years of training reduced to nothing time and time again when Kim manages to get his hands on him.

He bites back a moan that turns into a hiss and he can feel himself slipping. "Get off-Kim, stop," he pulls his hands away from his hair and tangles in his shirt to try and wrestle him off.

"Kim-!" His shout cuts off when he receives a bite so harsh Chay was sure he broke skin but then Kim pulls off, breathing heavily and his fangs are bared again. There's no blood but he looks down at Chay like he's a piece of meat and starving. Chay pants, staring back at eyes that have turned red and he thinks loathingly that he still looks beautiful like this.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Get off of me," he says in a low voice, feeding into his anger, if Chay thought of him as just another vampire he could kill it. There was a vampire in his home, admonishing and toying with him, like he was playing with his food. Kim smiles and it stokes the fire in Chay's chest.

"Get off of me you disgusting, vile thing,” he spits and Kim laughs, head tilting back a bit.

“I thought you said you loved me?”

“That was before I knew you were a psychopathic monster.”

“Aish, you spent all that time trying to get me to love you back and now that I want you, you want to run away,” he tsks. “You’re mine, Chay.”

Chay shudders from the growl in his voice.

Every single sense of defence melts away and Chay battles with himself to fight against him. His heart doesn’t want to but his brain, his instincts are telling him he’s in a fight-or-flight situation. And Chay isn’t one to run.

He manages to twist his legs beneath Kim, he was distracted, and he flips him with all the strength he could gather. Gravity does the rest and they go crashing down into the space between the couch and the coffee table. Chay's shoulder knocks harshly against the leg but he scrambles up and is on his feet, Kim quick to follow but not quick enough.

He just needs to get a weapon, a knife, something.

He bolts into the kitchen again and can't stop himself from slamming into the lower cabinets, adrenaline has him ignoring the pain and he flings a drawer open, fingers curling around a familiar blade. He swings over his shoulder without hesitation and sees Kim narrowly dodge the swipe of the blade. He hisses at the metal, eyes bleeding an even darker red.

Chay strikes again, knife almost finding home in Kim’s stomach if he hadn’t grappled his wrist and slammed it harshly against the counter. Chay winces and loses his grip on the knife the second time his hand is slammed. Fighting vampires in close proximity was already a challenge, but a mafia-trained vampire? God, Chay’s so fucked right now.

He kicks out and Kim stumbles back grunting but quickly recovers. Chay has just enough time to slip away and round him. He doesn't look like he was going to return the hit but Chay's wound too tight to analyse it.

He lunges at Kim and strikes him in the face before Kim catches the second attempt and half-throws Chay over his shoulder. He's still on his feet but just barely, he catches himself on his knees and the remaining venom in his system makes him dizzy.

He sees the gleam of silver in his peripheral and dashes for it. He feels a tug on his leg and his chest slams into the tiled floor knocking the air out of him. But he has the knife, and tries again, this time slicing a gash into Kim's cheek. He rears back in pain, hand coming up to his face but blood seeps past his fingers. The dark liquid trickles down to his neck and the wound doesn't heal.

Chay makes a move to attack again but Kim's instincts were ten times better than his and he catches Chay's hand immobilising it. Chay yells in frustration and aims a punch with his other but Kim easily blocks that one too, pinning Chay's hands to his chest. Kim's either had enough of Chay's antics or he's finally realised how much of a threat Chay truly is.

Chay wonders briefly if Kim has known this whole time, that he was a hunter. Or maybe Chay could give himself some credit and Kim only realised as of tonight. But there's some doubt. Maybe Chay slipped up and had said something odd, or accidentally left a weapon in sight.

Chay jerks his body violently and sweeps his leg under Kim's feet sending them both to the floor. God Chay's body was going to ache terribly in the morning. Kim's grip was firm though and Chay finds himself still trapped, on his back with his hands pinned on either side of his head, the knife lies a few feet from him now.

It's silent for a moment, just their ragged breaths filling the room and then Kim's eyes soften.

“Sweetheart?”

“Shut up,” he spits, voice rough from exertion.

Kim smiles like he’s amused by Chay’s behaviour and shakes his head with a huff. He can hear his heart hammering away.

“Baby,” he calls again, leaning in closer. Chay can feel his head going fuzzy again at the stupid pet name, the way it rolls off Kim’s tongue.

“Shut up, you demon,” and it sounds like a plea, Chay’s voice cracks. His chest tightens painfully and he can feel phantom shocks of agony in his heart. Against his will tears begin to fill his eyes, hands clenching uselessly in Kim's.

“I thought you said you loved all parts of me, Bambi?” His lips brush Chay’s cheek and he can’t suppress the shiver.

Kim hums, and then presses his lips under his ear, “C’mon say it,” he laughs mockingly.

'I love you, Kim'

Chay feels shame and is suddenly embarrassed at his own feelings.

The little voice in Chay's head is kicking and screaming for Kim to just shut up, because he can't do this if Kim keeps opening his gorgeous, sinful mouth.

'I hate you', his mind says, his lip trembles and he forces the words in his mind, 'You lowlife monster. You heartless killer. I hate you!'

"I hate you!" the sob rips from his chest.

"Chay-"

"No, no!" He refuses to look at Kim, refuses to see the man he's in love with. His angelic face marred by the features of the devil.

“Chay, baby, stop this c'mon,” Kim says tiredly, like Chay was a miserable kid acting out.

“I’m going to kill you,” his voice shakes, it’s soft but Kim hears him perfectly. He's breathing heavily but he's managed to get his tears under control. He repeats it more forcefully like he could convince himself, “I’m going to kill you, Khimhant.”

Kim laughs hoarsely, it echoes in Chay’s head and causes goosebumps to raise on his skin. Kim kisses him, a hard press of his lips against Chay’s and he almost instantly relaxes. It's slow but passionate, his tongue easily pushing into Chay's mouth and the younger makes a small sound. He doesn't release Chay's hands, not making that mistake twice but he presses his body into him. He can't help but return the kiss, their mouths pressed together in slow, languid movements like Kim was savouring the way he tastes. It makes him feel like his brain was melting.

“Tell me how you’d do it,” Kim entertains, not really giving Chay a moment to speak as he sucks softly on his bottom lip.

The grip on Chay's hands shifts and Kim holds both of his wrists with one hand, Chay ignores the way it makes his stomach swoop. His other hand then reaches down, thumb rubbing soothingly at Chay's exposed hipbone. He feels Kim grind down onto him, his hips nearly perfectly aligned with his and chokes on a moan, trying to stifle it, and pushes as much anger he could muster into his next words.

“With the same silver blade,” he slurs, which involved Chay somehow getting out from under Kim. “It’d stab your cold dead heart.”

Kim makes a noise between a breathless laugh and a moan and Chay nearly unravels right there.

"You smell divine, sweetheart." His words filter into Chay's ears sluggishly. He feels soft lips press to his throat, trailing wet kisses till it stops at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, it feels so good he almost asks Kim why he'd stopped.

"I'm sure you taste even better."

A sharp burning sensation suddenly throbs in his neck but just as quick as it starts it melts away to white-hot pleasure and the scream building in Chay's throat tapers off into a loud moan. He blinks harshly, eyes rolling, then screws his eyes shut. Everything was way too much, he felt oversensitive and overstimulated. Is this what a vampire bite feels like? If he had known this whole time he'd-

The hold on his wrists loosens but Chay's hands fall limp. Then Kim tilts his chin and presses impossibly deeper, Chay's hand flies up to card through his hair, not tugging him off this time. Kim makes a satisfied noise of pleasure and there’s a carnal edge to his moans and Chay feels delirious, his breath gasping. He could hardly breathe, his back arching up baring his neck further, all of his senses filled with Kim, Kim, Kim-!

Notes:

I also wrote this in mourning of a vamp kimchay fic that I think the author deleted, it was a blood bank one and Kim is chay's receiver but Chay doesn't know that (lmk if u know what I'm talking about)

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