Work Text:
“You ready?”
Chris leans over the gear box to hold Felix’s hand, placing their intertwined fingers on the gear stick between them. His grip is warm, steady, and the smile on Felix’s face grows slowly.
Felix breathes in, feeling like a year's worth of tension is slowly seeping out of him as he exhales. “Yeah, yeah I am.”
Chris calls him halfway through the first semester of his final year while he’sin a private study room, hoping to get ahead on some work/ They don’t get to see each other much now that Felix is swamped with assignments and work has picked up for Chris. Though they live together, it's hard to find time for just the two of them. There’s always some deadline or some other commitment, and Felix misses him, even when they sleep in the same bed every night.
“Y’know-” He starts, not even a “hello” once Felix answers. Felix hums, setting his pen down with a smile on his face. “-How you wanted to take a gap year after UNI?”
“I do, yeah,” Felix agrees, spinning in his chair a little. It’s just like Chris to remember something Felix said offhand, months ago when they were talking before bed.Felix will never be used to just how much attention Chris pays to him.
“Well, what if I told you I just got permission to take leave from work for six months, with a guarantee of getting my job back when we’re home?”
Felix sits up, heart racing. “No fucking way.”
“Yes way!” Chris giggles and Felix jumps up, yelling ecstatically down the phone, Chris reflecting his energy with his own shouts.
They spend a few more minutes just yelling at each other in excitement until Felix realises that even though these study rooms are probably soundproofed, he should try and keep the yelling to a minimum. Chris bids him farewell, promising to have dinner ready for Felix when he finishes up, and Felix is left grinning to himself like a crazy person.
He falls back into his chair, spinning around a little, too hyped up to get back to work immediately. God, he can’t believe they’re actually doing it.
Felix has fantasised about going on a road trip, just the two of them, long before there were any confessions or things to actually run away from. The idea of travelling around on their own terms — alone with only each other for company, without the worry of school or family to bring them down — is such a dream. When Chris got his full licence, Felix was the first person he drove around the neighbourhood in his shitty car. Felix, feeling brave, had played the song that fueled his non-platonic daydreams, the song played through his earbuds as he took the bus to school everyday.
It was cheesy, and not very subtle at all, but when the first chords of Long Way Home by 5 Seconds of Summer started playing through the fucked up speakers, Chris let out a little sound of recognition. Felix, already blushing, started trying to defend himself, but Chris just laughed and waved him off when Felix tried to change the song.
“No, no,” He said, in all the cool confidence that only a sixteen year old could have.“I like it. Suits the vibe, you know? This can be our driving song.”
Our .
The butterflies in Felix’s stomach grew and he looked out the window, unable to face Chris any longer. His fingers clenched against his school jumper. Our Driving Song He liked the sound of that.
Felix is shaken out of his memories when his phone buzzes, a text from Chris flashing on the screen.
hyung 😩🤤❤️
don’t stay out too late hehehe
i miss u <3
The same butterflies that Felix felt when he was fourteen are still as strong at twenty-four, even stronger than they were then. He prays this year flies by, already longing for the taste of no worries and months filled with just him and Chris, together.
With a gruelling final year behind him, their life packed up for the next six months in the boot of Chris’s shitty car, and six months of freedom ahead of them, they set off.
They don’t really have a destination in mind. Australia is big and people backpack it all the time. They’ll stop when they need to, explore when it seems fun, but there’s no set schedule. The tent shoved somewhere deep in the boot of the car is for when they want to sleep near the sea. They have money for hostels if they’re feeling fancy, but they mostly plan to sleep in the car. Felix doesn’t really give a shit in all honesty, he just wants to be close to Chris, to have his undivided attention, no distractions getting in the way. Just the two of them.
It’s hard, for the both of them, to set off without a proper plan or even an idea of where they want to go except from some throwaway suggestions of popular tourist destinations they’ve somehow never gone to. Felix is a chronic over thinker and Chris is a chronic over planner. Combined, they become the most well-suited, neurotic couple anyone will ever meet (Though, to be fair, they kind of balance each other out. On their own they’re unbearable).
This gap year was the one thing they decided would be spontaneous, a true going with the flow moment. Chris always waxes poetic about how being around Felix actually allows his brain to shut off, that his need to control every tiny detail of everything around him melts away, his entire point of focus on Felix. A trip that was as isolated as they could get from everywhere else felt more natural if they didn’t over complicate it.
So when Chris gets into the car, he just drives.
Felix cuddles up as close as he can get with the gearbox in the way. They’re only passing through the suburbs now, the traffic not too bad considering it’s noon on a weekday. They must have hit the sweet spot in between school drop-offs and weekly shops. The traffic lights are annoying, Chris’s luck always has the man hitting every red light possible but they’ve learned to take advantage of those quick moments, giggling as they steal as many quick pecks as they can before the light turns green.
Once or twice they might get a little distracted, a beep from a minivan behind them causing them to jump apart, Chris’s ears red and Felix grinning widely. It feels like they’re teenagers again, sneaking kisses between classes, hiding under the covers when their parents pass their bedrooms so they don’t see their messy hair and swollen lips.
“If my driving instructor saw me now…” Chris shakes his head, the car shakily taking off as he waves an apology to the family behind them. They don’t look pleased.
Felix laughs. “You only passed because he felt bad for failing you so many times.”
“Hey… I’m not that bad.”
“You’re not, babe,” Felix strokes a hand down his arm and Chris chances a playful glare out of the side of his eye. “At least when there are no distractions, you’re fine.”
Chris huffs but he doesn’t deny it, just intertwines their fingers again to stop Felix's wandering hands. Felix is more than happy to let his hand be held, turning his smile to the window to watch the scenery drift by.
“Put on some music, it’s not a road trip without music.”
Felix smirks, prepared for this moment ever since they made half-hearted plans about a road trip together as teenagers. The familiar chords play through the speaker and Felix laughs as Chris groans.
“Really? This song is so 2014.”
“You would know, you old prick. Now, shut up. Have some respect for our national band.”
“I highly doubt that 5 Seconds of Summer are widely regarded as Australia's National Band.”
“They are to me.”
Even with all of Chris’ complaining, they both end up screaming the lyrics to “Long Way Home” like their lives depended on it, scaring the kids coming out of primary school as they pass.
“Oh, fuck.” Felix’s head drops down and he mouths at Chris’s bare shoulder. His fingers dig in deep, leaving imprints of skin as he holds on for dear life, the pace of Chris’ hips fucking up into him erratic and rough, punching the breath out of him with every plunge of his cock.
Chris grunts, gripping hard enough to leave bruises on Felix’s hips. “So good, baby. Shit, you feel so-” Chris pulls Felix’s hips down, somehow shoving his cock even deeper inside of him, and Felix cries out, pressing his forehead into the sweat slick skin of Chris’ collar bone.
The windows have steamed up, and the air in the car is muggy and hot. It’s barely dark outside, the moon peeking above the horizon over the sea. It’s quiet, no other cars parked near them as far as they can see, but it’s still risky. Neither of them are being particularly gentle or quiet, but the anxiety of getting caught only makes them more desperate.
Felix leans back in Chris’ lap, circling his hips and moaning when Chris’ cock drags along his sensitive insides. His legs are kinda cramped, straddling Chris in the drivers seat, the steering wheel digging into his back, but he doesn’t register any of that, only the way that every rotation has pleasure darting up his spine as he fucks himself down on Chris’ cock, thick and big and filling him up so fully he’s dizzy with it.
“Ca- Can’t believe we couldn’t even make- fuck , Chris, right there… ah - a day before fucking in the-“ Felix gives up on the sentence when Chris begins rocking him in his lap, his cock dragging across every sensitive spot inside of him. He moans low, lifting his heavy head off of Chris’ shoulder so he can kiss him.
Well, it’s more of a mashing their lips together and sucking Chris’s tongue into his mouth than a kiss but it’s the best Felix can do when his brain is melting out of his ears.
Chris, because he’s insufferable, chuckles, slowing their movements down to a slow grind, “In the what, Lixie?”
Felix whines high in his throat, trying to speed up the pace again, but Chris’ grip on his hips is too strong, controlling the speed even as Felix tries to fight him for it. Every jab of Chris’ cockhead into his prostate has Felix losing any bit of coherency he was clinging to, and eventually he just lets himself go lax, mindless with the pleasure of Chris inside him.
“Shit, three dollars for a pint? How is this place still open?” Chris says as he walks back to their table; a little spot in the back, out of sight from the rest of the pub so that once they get tipsy, and in turn get more handsy, they should be hidden enough that they won’t immediately get caught.
Felix takes the beer out of Chris hand, gulping it down. “Fuck if I know,” he says after chugging at least half of it. “I’m not complaining though.”
“You’re so sexy.” Chris is eyeing Felix up like he wants to jump him right in the middle of this dingy pub in the ass crack of nowhere, and Felix can’t really think of a good reason why he shouldn’t.
A woop from two middle aged men playing Snooker across the room reminds him.
“Keep it in your pants. Don’t think I’ll be able to handle getting banned from another public facility.”
Chris gasps dramatically, falling into the booth beside Felix, drink sloshing in the pint precariously. “As if that was my fault. You’re the one who thought you could keep quiet!”
“I was young,” Felix says wistfully, taking a delicate sip out of his glass like it’s fine china, “Naive. You shouldn’t have enabled me, what sort of hyung are you?”
Chris’ face flashes through a series of complicated emotions, most of them some form of arousal.
“Don’t call me that in public! You promised! I thought you were trying to not get us banned for public indecency again.”
Felix giggles, the power that using titles gives Felix over Chris is always equal parts amusing and arousing. Hyung is one for when Felix is feeling playful; he enjoys the way it makes Chris sputter and blush every time he uses it.
There’s a special one for when Felix wants a very particular reaction from Chris.
“I’m sorry, daddy. Won’t do it again.” Felix makes sure to pair it with big, shining eyes and pouty lips, delight rushing through his veins when Chris’ eyes darken and his shoulders straighten.
“Felix.”
Chris’ face is stern. Felix has a feeling that if he keeps pushing him, the sex they’ll have later will be great , but before he can continue being a menace he’s distracted by a song starting, suddenly louder than the quiet background noise the music had been since they entered.
“ Oh, my God . Chris! It’s our song!”
The dark, heated look slips off of Chris’ face and is replaced by one of confusion until he listens for what Felix is talking about and his face lights up.
No other words are needed as Chris drags Felix out of the booth, pint still in his hand as he pulls them to the centre of the pub. It’s not exactly a dance floor, especially considering the target audience for the establishment they’re in, but it doesn't stop them from wrapping their arms around each other and screaming the song at the top of their lungs.
Half of Chris’ cider ends up on the floor as they bump against each other, too busy laughing and singing to drink until Felix tips his pint into Chris’ mouth, whose nose scrunches at the taste of alcohol.
The choir sings as they sway in the middle of the room, Felix’s head on Chris’ shoulder and he looks up with a sigh, “Remember my graduation? I got so drunk that night.”
Chris laughs, humming along to the song as he recalls what a shit show that was. “How could I forget? You didn’t invite me out for your grad night but I ended up having to pick your drunk arse up from that shitty club.”
“No~,” Felix whines, rubbing his head into Chris’ shirt like a cat. “You were supposed to talk about my super romantic confession.”
“The one you made before or after you threw up all over my tongs?”
“Chris~”
“And this song was playing in my car as I buckled you in and drove you home barefoot, and you sang every lyric of it to me and said that the lyrics summed up your non-platonic feelings for me.” Chris’ voice is filled with mirth, and the fondness dripping in every syllable is enough to have Felix’s whole face burning. “Which is ironic because the only reason I was listening to it was because it reminded me of you.”
Felix slumps into Chris’ hold, resting most of his body weight onto him. “I regret bringing this up.”
“We’re taking the long way ho oome ,” Chris sings, squeezing Felix in his arms and swaying them. “And I don’t wanna be wasting my time all alo ooone ~”
“You’ll be all alone if you don’t stop.” Felix pouts and Chris just laughs because he’s mean like that, but he makes up for it by kissing him.
They get more drinks, progressively getting more drunk, way too drunk to be appropriate for the old-man pub they’re in, but Chris rarely ever drinks and Felix’s tolerance has always been shit so within an hour they’re sloshed.
There’s a country singer crooning through the shitty speakers but neither of them are really listening to it, dancing pressed up against each other like it’s Trey Songz in the background. Chris had the smart idea of finishing their drinks before jumping around, so both their hands are free and Felix is taking full advantage, dragging his hands up Chris’ chest, t-shirt stuck to him with sweat, wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling him down, mouth already wide open.
Chris sucks his tongue into his mouth, Felix groans a little too loud for being in public but he’s too drunk and horny to care. Chris’ hands slide down his back before taking a fistful of Felix’s ass, using the grip to force them closer together as he licks across Felix’s teeth. The kiss is barely a kiss at this stage, just tongues withering together as they grope one another.
“Daddy,” Felix gasps as Chris begins to suck a bruise next to the one already on the curve of his jaw. “I- I need-”
Chris hums, the sound vibrating through Felix's skin, nipping at his nape, “Shh, I know, baby. Let Daddy take care of you.”
A cough from behind them pulls them out of the moment.
“I think it’s time for you to leave.” A grumpy looking bartender avoids their eyes, pointing towards the exit.
“Fuck,” they say and without another look they sprint out of there.
They’re halfway to the car when the giggling kicks in and before they know it they’re clinging to each other as they stumble down the street, laughter echoing in the small town and tears dripping down their cheeks. Chris collapses on a patch of grass near the car park and Felix is quick to fall on top of him, body still shaking from giggles as they hold each other.
The laughter eventually dies down and Felix rolls off of Chris, snuggling into his side so they can look up at the sky together. The stars aren’t quite as visible as they’ve seen them but they still blink down at them hazily, the smog here not quite enough to dampen them.
Felix presses a kiss to Chris’ shoulder. “You still in the mood? We could do handjobs in the backseat again.”
Chris considers it before nodding. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
“Waaahh!”
Chris kicks his feet as he stands in the two inches of water. It’s freezing, his toes going numb instantly. It doesn’t help that he’s also completely naked. Even with it being early December and the night, it’s still warm — more bearable than the scorching heat during the day.
Felix’s laughter startles him, loud and deep, and Chris turns to look at him. “What’s so funny?”
Felix is still in his boxers, half pulled down his hips from where he was in the middle of taking them off before he burst into giggles. “Your cock!” He makes a gesture with his arm, presumably mocking the way Chris’ soft dick had been slapping against his thigh when he was jumping to stay warm and the action causes him to curl over in another outburst of laughter.
Chris can’t help but feel a little offended, it’s not everyday your boyfriend laughs until he’s crying while pointing at your dick. He frowns, covering his crotch with his hands.
Felix coos, stepping up to him. “Poor baby, did I hurt your feelin– ahh !” The cold water splashing against his ankles startles him badly enough that he trips into Chris and they both go tumbling into the water.
The shrieks they make are probably enough to scare away any life form that had been in a 5km radius to them.
They spend longer than they probably should splashing around in the shallows, trading salty kisses as they roll around in the wet sand before, eventually, Chriswades out further into the ocean until his feet can’t touch the bottom anymore.
Felix floats on his back, squinting as he tries to avoid getting salt water in his eyes, and lets the waves carry him. A brush of hair against his shoulder has him turning his head. Chris’ eyebrows greet him and he turns to give Felix an upside down smile. Neither of them make a move but the water keeps them from drifting apart, suspended in the black ocean as a field of stars look down on them from above and silence offers a comfort that words would only break, existing together with a brush of wet hair ticklish against the nape of the neck and bumps on cold flesh as the waves push them together.
They’re in a shitty park on the more insane side of 4AM, huddled together on one of those weird swings with a netted bed. Chris uses the leg Felix doesn’t have trapped between his thighs to push against the metal support pole every so often, keeping them in a constant sway. Neither of them have spoken in what feels like hours, just lying there in comfortable silence, the heat of the mid-December summer air and their shared bodies sticking them together in a mildly humid pile.
Chris knows Felix isn’t asleep because every so often there’s a soft brush of blinking eyelashes against the exposed skin of his chest, his tank top thrown somewhere near the car when Felix had decided a game of midnight tag was something he wanted. Even without the shirt, Chris can still feel sweat dripping down the side of his neck, but Felix takes care of it before salt can dry into his skin; the little freak licking it up and smacking his lips together like it’s a particularly tasty drink.
Chris draws idle shapes on Felix’s back, who shivers a little whenever his fingertips ghost his spine or press in a little harder against a bruise Chris knows he left there the other night. His eyes are half lidden, watching the stars appear and disappear behind drifting clouds. They’re far enough out of Perth that they’re visible enough, not as crazy as when Felix and Chris hiked up the Blue Mountains, but still fascinating to watch.
Christmas lights blink in Chris' field of vision from distant housing estates and if he strains his hearing, he can hear the drunken yells of some sort of holiday party. He tries to pull the current date from his memory but he can’t remember the last time he checked, though it’s obvious Christmas is coming up.
“Were you named after Christmas?” Felix speaks up suddenly, startling Chris out of his head.
The question itself isn’t strange, not when Chris has known Felix for as long as he has. There’s no way to predict where Felix’s thought process is going and Chris can’t think of anything more enjoyable than just sticking along for the ride.
Chris hums, hands not stopping their movements, and Felix doesn’t make any effort to get up and look at him. “I don’t know, maybe? You never know with Catholics. Though, my full name is Christopher and not Christian, so maybe not.”
“True,” Felix allows, shifting a little to look up at Chris’ chin. “You could always ring your parents and ask.”
Chris makes a noise of agreement, fingers trailing up to play with the inky black strands of Felix hair, freshly dyed after he decided his roots were getting too out of control. It’s still a shock to look over and see a head of black-as-midnight hair beside him. Felix has been a blonde so long that most people would think he was born like that. The change in his appearance just gives Chris more opportunities to fall in love with him, to notice new pretty little details that the dark hair brings out.
“Do you think they’d pick up?” Felix asks, and Chris massages his fingertips into the nape of Felix’s neck. He has a feeling where this is going and his heart already aches.
Chris watches an insect fly by above them. “Probably,” he tells the clouds.
It’s been a month since Chris last called home, when he told his parents he wouldn’t be home for Christmas after all. They sounded disappointed but got over it quickly. It hadn’t been a long conversation.
Felix stiffens in his arms and then his shoulders start shaking. Without saying a word, Chris pulls him over until he’s lying on top of him, the movement causing the swing to tip slightly until it settles back into a gentle rhythm again. Felix buries his face in Chris’ chest, body heaving as he cries, and Chris hums, soothing and low as he holds him tight.
The hostel they’re staying in is kinda musty, the bunk beds too small for two adult men to squish themselves into together, but it doesn’t stop them from trying. It started lashing once they hit Perth, and the idea of staying in the car when it was this stuffy hadn’t appealed to either of them, so Chris got googling for the cheapest accommodation.
There’s two other lads in the room with them, one on the bottom bunk in the middle of the long room and the other on the bed closest to the door. Felix chose their bed, pressed up against the window and right by the air conditioning so they’re both shivering a little as they giggle and poke at each other.
It feels like being teenagers again, having a sleepover and trying to hide the sound of their kisses under the blankets. Neither of the men sharing the room with them care or have noticed the fact that their roommates have decided to share a bed rather than get their own, but it doesn’t stop the nerves and excitement from coursing through Felix’s veins as he sneaks a hand inside Chris’ shirt.
“You little minx,” Chris mutters but doesn’t try to stop the teasing fingers gliding up his torso, groping at the hard muscle there.
Felix laughs like the little gremlin he is, pressing his face into Chris’ neck and nibbling at the thin skin, unbothered when Chris tries to roll away from the ticklish touch. The bunk bed creaks in protests, wobbling and they both freeze before erupting into barely suppressed giggles.
Felix wiggles his way on top of Chris, eyes sparkling in the poorly lit room as he grins down at him, and he’s so beautiful that Chris is genuinely breathless for a moment, so overcome with the knowledge that Felix is his . To love and cherish, to take care of, that he’s lucky enough to be able to spend this time with him — his first love, his soulmate, his other half.
“I love you,” Chris says and Felix’s cheeks go pink like they always do, his smile turning into something softer that makes Chris’ heartache.
Felix’s voice wavers, “Chris…”
He’s so cute, pouting down at him, emotional and soft the way he’s always been. Quick to cry and even quicker to comfort.
“Just wanted to say it,” Chris shrugs.
“No, you think by being all sappy it’ll stop me from being horny but you are wrong . Your love only makes me hornier.”
Chris makes a face of disgust. “Gross.”
“I’ll show you gross,” Felix grumbles, his sneaky little hands slipping straight into Chris’ shorts before he can grab them. Embarrassingly, he’s already mostly hard, because he’s incredibly weak for Felix, emotionally and physically.
Chris’ hips jolt as Felix grasps him fully, blinking up at him with innocent eyes as Chris hisses under his breath. “Shh, they’re gonna hear.”
Small fingers, too good at what they do, dance up the stiff shape of Chris’ cock before stroking down roughly, friction causing Chris’ eyebrows to furrow.
“Kinda dry,” Chris finds himself saying.
Felix smirks, an evil little thing. “Lemme fix that.” And then he’s ducking under the covers.
Chris bites his lip hard enough to bleed when Felix doesn’t waste any time engulfing him in his mouth, sucking him down half way and pulling back up, just to rub the head of Chris’ cock on the soft insides of his cheeks. Feeling spiteful, Chris reaches down and presses hard on the shape that Felix’s head makes under the blanket, and there’s an audible gagging sound as he’s forced to take Chris further down his throat.
Chris pretends to cough but it doesn’t look like either of their roommates noticed anything. Felix pinches Chris’ thigh in retaliation and Chris bucks his hips up, suppressing a groan when his cockhead slides down the back of Felix’s constricting throat.
Felix gets him back by swallowing harshly around him, pulling up with a tight suction of his cheeks and Chris thinks dazedly that he’s really not gonna last long.
As Felix sucks him back down again, not even trying to be quiet, and Chris meets him with a thrust up into his warm mouth, it becomes more apparent that Chris is definitely not gonna last.
He doesn’t even get a chance to warn Felix, hands gripping the his head through the blanket and pushing him down as he comes hard and fast, filling Felix’s throat up with his cum, breathing harshly through his nose when he hears the little noises Felix is making from under the covers as he tries to swallow it all.
When Chris starts to twitch from oversensitivity he grabs at Felix from under the blanket, pulling him up and pushing his leg between the other’s thighs, right into the bulge of his stiff cock. Felix shudders against Chris, mouth pressed against his neck as he ruts his hips forward. He gets off like that, spilling into his boxers with a barely suppressed whimper as Chris whispers every filthy thing that crosses his mind.
Giggling and shoving at each other as they try to clean up subtly, the bed creaking even more suspiciously beneath them even though they really aren’t doing anything dirty anymore. Chris shoves a handful of baby wipes down Felix’s shorts just to make him squeal and Felix gets him back by throwing the used wipes right at his face immediately afterwards.
“You’re such a dick,” Chris says, tone too soft to be called anything other than adoring.
He watched Felix’s eyes widen, mouth clamping shut and Chris immediately pinches his cheek. “Don’t you dare say it.”
Felix shakes, eyes shining as he stares at Chris and he doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know that every TikToker, Gen Z brain cell in Felix’s head is screaming at him right now.
Chris covers Felix’s mouth with his hand, who blinks pleadingly at him.
Sighing, Chris drops his hand and-
“Everyday I wake up and wish you were dead!”
Chris laughs, despite having heard Felix make this exact same joke multiple times a day. Felix’s squeaky little giggles, that eventually deepen into a full bellied laugh, are too contagious and they lie there laughing to themselves like idiots over something that wasn’t even that funny in the first place.
A loud shh from the other end of the room has both of them freezing, immediately going quiet as they stare at each other in shock before another round of laughter hits them and they desperately try to suppress it.
The rest of the night goes by with shared kisses and giggles as they watch TikToks on Felix’s phone while sharing earphones until they fall asleep, a video still playing on loop as their background noise.
They’re driving down the motorway, unable to talk because Felix insists they keep the windows open so the wind is blaring through the car, sending their hair and the loose receipts shoved on Chris’s dash flying around them in a tornado. Chris can’t even pretend to be annoyed because Felix keeps laughing whenever his hair gets blown in his eyes and Chris is so in love.
The radio is playing, muffled and barely audible over the sound of the wind but Felix is singing along anyway, voice cracking as he tries to hit the high notes and Chris joins him, their voices drowned out by the wind but their laughter loud enough to fill the car.
The tent is cramped, Chris swears that he bought a two person one but he must have accidentally clicked on the single tent option when ordering it off of Amazon. Neither of them really care, too used to invading each other's space to mourn the loss of a few extra inches of room the two-person tent would have given them, but Felix does enjoy being a brat about it just to annoy Chris.
Which makes it funnier when Felix is also the one to take advantage of the less-than-ideal surface area to roll himself on top of Chris with a content sigh.
“This is nice.”
The sound of the summer rain batters against the outside of the tent, but Felix’s mouth is close to Chris’ ear so he hears him despite the noise.
Chris strokes a hand down Felix’s spine, following the sloping curve and resting his palm on the soft flesh of Felix’s ass. “Mmh,” he hums, eyes closed.
Felix wiggles, arching into the touch like he’s starved even though they’re both still coming down from the previous round, sweat sticking them together because Felix refused to let Chris clean them up.
Chris cracks an eye open. “Already?”
Felix just blinks innocently at him, but the shift of his hips into Chris’ bare thighs is enough of an answer.
“You didn’t fuck me yet,” Felix whines. “Aren’t you embarrassed? Coming in your pants just from a little dry humping?”
“I’m not wearing pants.”
“Not the point.”
“And you did, too.”
“Stop talking unless it's something sexy.”
Chris rubs his hand down Felix’s bare back, not at all phased by the sweat lingering there. Chris was already pretty comfortable with Felix’s bodily fluids before this trip and has only grown even more desensitised the longer they spend on the road. His hand stops when it reaches its true destination, grabbing a handful of Felix’s perky butt, pulling them closer together.
Felix is malleable under his hold, moving easily under Chris’ guiding hand, shifting a little so he can rest his leg comfortably over his waist.
“D’you want prep?” Chris slips a finger between Felix’s cheeks, pressing a dry finger pad against his hole.
Felix shakes his head. “No, just want your cock.”
“That can be arranged.” Chris says, flipping them over.
Felix groans, rolling his eyes, “Not sexy.”
Too distracted in his search for lube, or at least something lube-like, Chris doesn’t get a chance to be offended by Felix’s dissatisfaction at his dirty talk. y the time Chris is pressing inside of him, pressing Felix’s body into the sleeping bag as his cock stretches him open- ell, Felix doesn’t have any more complaints about the things Chris is whispering in his ear, now.
It’s one of those days, is the first thing Chris thinks when he blinks awake, legs cramping from being curled up against the closed boot of the car. Felix is scrolling on his phone beside him, free hand idly playing with Chris’ fingers.
Chris looks for the usual feelings of happiness, contentedness, even just plain old attraction, that he is usually flooded with when he sees Felix, but everything feels dull, muted. Even as the morning sun lights up the inside of the car, which is cosy, the bed made up perfectly by Felix who refuses to sleep with less than four pillows.
He’s not sure how long he spends staring out of the window, gaze slightly off of Felix, and he barely notices when Felix shifts, rolling around to face Chris.
A small hand on his cheek has him looking down and he watches as Felix’s face goes through a few different expressions before landing on something soft and open, pretty in a way that even Chris’ foggy mind can pick up on.
“You want me to drive today?”
A crack, small but noticeable, splinters in Chris’ mind, cutting through the heavy weight on his chest and allowing him to breathe a little easier the next time he inhales.
Not feeling up for words, tongue sitting awkwardly against the top of his mouth, Chris just nods, and Felix smiles.
“‘Bout time I get some practice in. Wouldn’t want to be picking up any bad habits from a certain someone.” Felix teases as he sits up, pulling the car door open, and begins to start the process of packing up again.
Chris allows himself a few more moments to lie there, the sound of Felix humming to himself outside of the car enough of a distraction to not let him sink too deep into his dark thoughts. He closes his eyes.
It’s one of those days.
It’s a few minutes before sunrise and the box in Chris’ pocket feels like it’s about to burn a hold through his hoodie. He would be clutching tightly onto it if Felix hadn’t tried to sneak his tiny paws inside the pouch in an effort to leech off of some of his warmth. To stop himself from being caught out, Chris had grabbed Felix’s hand before it could wiggle its way inside and brought it up to his face, pressing a kiss onto the adorably chubby knuckles.
Felix pretended to gag but squirmed further into his arms with a content sigh and Chris considered it a successful deterrence.
The hike up the mountain was more difficult than either of them had anticipated, but they’d been talking about watching the sunrise from the top of a cliff since they started this trip and every time they made plans to do it, one of them would flake out. It’s easy to say you wanna watch the sunrise until you actually have to get out of your cosy car-bed and do the hiking.
Luckily, they made it to the summit before the sun rose and picked out the perfect spot to lay down a blanket and get cosy. Despite the slight chill of the early morning in the air, Chris’ hands are clammy, his heart hammering wildly in his chest.
He really shouldn’t be so nervous over this. Felix is a constant, Chris doesn’t doubt what his answer is going to be, not when he knows the other so well. It's just… it still feels like a big moment, despite the lack of anxiety over the response. Felix deserves to have this moment be special, because he’s so special. He’s so good , and even though everyday Chris attempts to let Felix know how much he means to him, he still feels like it’s not enough.
Though the ring is just another symbol of Chris’ unending devotion for the boy beside him, one of a thousand others and a thousand more to come, it doesn’t make it any less meaningful.
“You remind me of the sunrise,” Chris finds himself saying, words flowing from his mouth without the chance for him to chicken out. “Every morning I wake up and you’re lying there beside me. Sometimes I haven’t slept that night so you’re still asleep, or when I open my eyes you’re already looking at me. If you are, you say ‘Good morning, Chris’ in that cute little gremlin voice you always do and then you smile at me. Though, sometimes you're grumpy, so it’s a pout on your face, but even then you still shine so brightly. The sun could never rise again, it could burn out and leave us all in eternal darkness, and it wouldn’t matter. Not when I have you by my side.”
Felix’s breath stutters in his chest, his hands gripping onto Chris’ arm so he feels it when Chris’ arm moves, reaching into his pocket. “Oh, my God.”
“You are my sunlight, you are what keeps my world going. The sun could fucking explode for all I care, it has nothing on you. Being here, going through all this effort to watch something that is supposed to be awe-inspiring has just made me realise that it’s meaningless. Who cares about the pretty colours that a ball of gas, thousands of lightyears away, makes across the sky? How could I care about it when you’re sitting here beside me, the only thing I want to be looking at?”
Chris pulls out the little black box, flipping it open to reveal a simple silver ring inside. “I already know we’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together, whether you wear this ring or not. But do you wanna marry me, just so we can shove it in everyone else's face?”
Chris’ back hits the ground, barely cushioned by the blanket beneath them, and he can’t see anything because Felix is kissing him all over his face, covering them both in his tears.
“Of course I do, you fucking cunt! God, I love you so much. What the fuck? How dare you make me cry so much! Fuck , we missed the sunrise.”
Chris laughs, holding Felix tight as he continues to whine, and sure enough, the sun is well above the horizon now; the glow of the morning light making Felix’s tears look like little crystal droplets, and even with his puffy morning face and swollen eyes he’s the most beautiful person Chris has ever laid eyes on.
The ring is carefully picked out of the box. Chris helps slide it down Felix’s finger and his heart seizes in his chest at the sight. He links their pinkies together and they lie there, holding each other and watching the sun creep further into the sky.
The call comes as Felix and Chris are approaching the motorway that will take them back to Sydney, both of them nervous and also glad to be in familiar territory again. As freeing as it was to be exploring new places everyday, seeing the road signs slowly getting closer to Sydney has Felix feeling a little giddy.
When his phone starts vibrating in his hand, the music he was streaming coming to an abrupt stop, Felix blinks down at the incoming call that’s flashing on his screen.
“Who is it?” Chris asks, because he’s nosy, and Felix doesn’t bother to respond. Instead, he hits answer , and holds the phone up to his ear.
“Hi, Mum.”
A muffled sob that sounds like his name. His mother clears her throat but her voice still sounds thick with tears. “Baby, it’s time to come home.”
A weight that Felix’s has been carrying for nearly a year is lifted off of him and tears spring to his eyes. “Yeah, I- yeah. We’re on our way.”
“Chris?” His mother asks but they both already know the answer. “Good, it’s been too long since we’ve seen him, and you haven’t introduced him to us as your boyfriend yet.”
Felix’s chest feels like it’s about to burst, grinning so wide his cheeks hurt even as tears spill down his face. “Fiancé. He’s- We- Chris and I are getting married.”
She gasps and old fear tries to claw its way back into Felix’s heart. “Oh, Felix. I’m so happy for you, I’m so.. I’m sorry, baby. For everything, I love you.”
He starts crying properly now and his mother coos down the phone to him even as she chokes on her own tears. Felix looks over at Chris, whose eyes are shining as he watches the road, and without looking away, he reaches over, grabbing Felix’s trembling hand tightly.
“I love you too, Mum. See you soon.”
After they hang up, Felix presses his wet face against Chris’ hand, kissing it softly.
“Guess we’re not taking the long way home, then.”
Felix groans, slapping Chris’ thigh. He plays the song anyway.