Chapter Text
Magnus sighed as the door to the guest room slammed shut behind Alec with a loud bang, threatening to rip it off its hinges.
He made his way over to the couch and settled down, exhausted.
How had they let it get this far?
_
It had all started a few weeks prior to the escalation.
When Alec became head of the institute he knew it wasn't going to be easy.
The clave continued to insist on its superiority and was unwilling to look beyond its narrow-mindedness.
The Downworld, on the other hand, was marked by centuries of discrimination and violence from the Shadowhunters.
Paperwork upon paperwork gathered daily on his desk. The missions were repetitive and his annoying parabatai of a brother was even more annoying than usual.
Jace was putting himself and others constantly in danger while out on missions to show off in front of Clary because he was jealous of the newly transferred Shadowhunter Jean.
Naturally, Alec was the one who had to save Jace's sorry ass every single time.
He was getting sick of it.
It was slowly getting to him and he knew that he was more irritated than usual.
He was aware of the time he spent with Magnus or more like did not spend with him.
However, he was not aware that he was also letting his frustration out on Magnus.
-
Magnus had seen the clench in Alec's jaw, the furrow of his brows and the way he was always tense when he came back from the institute.
For a few weeks it was fine.
Alec coming home stressed and exhausted was nothing new after all.
The stubborn shadowhunter would be able to forget all about the pressure of work when Magnus caressed his face and kissed him as a welcome home.
The tension would leave him when they were cuddled up on the couch, a gentle hand playing with his hair.
More time passed and the softest of touches did not seem to be enough to get Alec to relax.
Instead he went straight to bed after entering the loft.
Thus their conversations became less and less with Alec being away most of the time and being too exhausted to stay awake for long after coming home.
Alec had always been prone to overworking himself but this had been going on for too long.
He wasn't eating enough, wasn't sleeping enough and wasn't careful enough.
Getting injured as a Shadowhunter from time to time is a well-known aspect to Magnus.
It happening every second day isn't the norm, however.
Alec was obviously not taking care of his health and this led to those added injuries, Magnus figured.
Magnus set the limit there.
They had a short talk about the issue of overworking oneself, which was quickly dismissed by Alec with a snapping comment about how 'not everyone can hang around the loft and be lazy all day'.
Magnus was more surprised than hurt by it since the comment obviously stemmed from the stress of work.
They both knew that Magnus was busy fixing the claves' mistakes right and left after all.
Still he didn't appreciate such communication.
Therefore he decided to take action and called Isabelle.
"Hello my dear, your brother won't make it to work tomorrow. He needs some well-deserved rest."
Izzy was grateful. She had tried getting her brother to take a day off for weeks - fruitless of course.
Since it was a surprise Magnus turned Alec's alarm off and cuddled up to him in their bed without telling him.
He figured it would be nice to visit some beautiful place on the free day.
Rom sounded good.
Alec would properly prefer a lazy day though so they had to let those plans rest for a while.
-
Sun was warming his skin as he woke up.
There was a distant sound coming from the kitchen as the delicious smell of freshly baked pancakes filled the air.
Then there he stood in the doorway holding a tray with said pancakes and coffee.
Alec smiled gently at his boyfriend's gesture for a whole of five seconds before he realized that something was off.
He got up way too early in the morning for the sun to be up. He hadn't managed to take a meal with Magnus for the past weeks and said warlock shouldn't be up before him.
Before Magnus could react Alec was already out of bed and looking for the clothes he had discarded on the floor in his desperation to get into bed.
"Alec-"
The man gave him a hard glare.
"Why didn't you wake me up? I'll be late to work now, Magnus. And why did my alarm not go off in the first place?"
"I turned it off. Listen-"
Alec froze up for a second in his ministrations of putting his shirt on and the glare turned into a furious expression the warlock had never seen regarded to him.
Only his worst enemies knew that look.
It reminds him of the time he was in Valentine's body and his lover pressed him against the wall with his arm effectively closing his airways off.
A shudder of fear ran down his spine at the reminder of the horrible situation. The fear of his own boyfriend not recognizing him and standing by while he was supposed to be executed.
They had talked about it and Alec had apologized. Magnus had understood why the shadowhunter didn't want to take any risks but the look of hatred on his lover's face had been enough to give him nightmares for weeks.
He had never thought he would ever look at him like this again.
'Please no. Not again.'
"What the fuck. Magnus, why would you do that?”
Magnus actually flinched at the sharp tone.
"Just listen to me for a second Alexander. You have been overworking yourself for weeks. A break is certainly necessary. Also, I want to spend some time with you since we haven't done so much as talk in days. That's why I decided to call Isabelle. Your dear sister agreed with me that a day off is needed."
He thought that this was going to be the end of the discussion. Alec would relax and enjoy the breakfast Magnus made and then they could spend some hours lazing off in front of the tv.
Oh how wrong he was...
-
He urgently needed some space.
Alec may be stressed out but that was no excuse for the way he treated Magnus. Not for these past weeks and especially not for today.
The Shadowhunters' words were still spinning around in his head cutting deep into his heart like knives.
"Who do you think you are that you get to decide what I need, huh?"
"Get over yourself and stop being clingy. Just because I can't spend every second with you doesn't mean I'm neglecting you or our relationship."
You just don't get how important my work is, do you?"
Magnus's "Aren't we important too, Alexander?" was promptly answered.
"No. I don't care about us right now, Magnus." He taunted and 'I don't care about you' is what Magnus heard.
"I care about my work. My responsibilities as the Head of the institute. My people need me
so stay back!"
-
This is how he ended up slumped over on the couch with tears gathering in his eyes.
He had thought they were better than this. All those conversations about communication and the importance of expressing their feelings in a calm manner.
Did Alec not trust him to take care of him? Did he really think of Magnus as clingy and unimportant?
A sick feeling spread through his body. It was happening again. Why was it always like this?
Docents of partners that liked him for a while before they got tired of him.
Docents of partners that used him and then threw him away like a used up toy.
By the angel he had told Alec about this. About his issues to trust and be himself. And like every other person he had done the same.
He had thrown him away.
It hurt. It hurt so much. Because this was Alec. The love of his life and the one he had opened up to like never before.
He sipped on his drink that he had conjured moments before silently for a while.
There was a note already on the kitchen table that would inform Alec about his departure.
Magnus couldn’t bring himself to actually break up with Alec even if that may be for the best.
Instead he had called it a break.
A break for both of them to think their relationship over.
Magnus wasn’t sure if he could do this again and Alec had to decide if he even wanted to be in a relationship with Magnus.
It certainly hadn’t sounded like that earlier but Magnus - as hurt as he was - was aware that not everything that was said in the heat of the moment and build up frustration was meant.
A quick movement of his hand and all his clothes were packed in what should be a way too small luggage for the amount.
He took one swift look around the loft before conjuring a portal and stepping through it.
Leaving his life behind for now.
Only for now. He reminds himself.
Though he isn’t completely convinced of the truth that statement held.
‘Goodbye Alexander.’