Archive of Our Own

It began as so many nights had for the young couple; scrambled up in bed with lips locked, throwing themselves into the powerful abandon of attraction. Impulses, affection, closeness.

Intimacy. That was the key in it.

Tangled in sheets on Will's bed, enjoying having the Byers-Hopper home to themselves for the day, Will and Mike found themselves tipping ever closer to the precipice of a step further once again. They often danced back and forth on the edge these days.

They'd kissed plenty in their years dating, plenty – but they'd never been bold enough to surpass that point, even now at 20. Something stopped them every time, no matter how tempted. The closest they'd ever gotten was sparse grinding or touches while making out, and one of them always withdrew. Most often Will.

Fitting of them, neither had ever been the most centered on sex and the like in-and-of itself, and both are exceptionally prone to awkwardness. They were typically quite content to just kiss or cuddle and play games together most days because of this.

Sure, other things were often there in background thoughts, natural physiological responses, but they'd never fully crossed the threshold into exploring such things beyond flirting and euphemism. Too scary, intimidating, potentially destabilizing to their dynamic.

It hadn't been worth it to risk the changes it could bring– but as their relationship kept on strong for as long as it had now…that began to change as a more passionate and intimate attraction started to form in their adulthood. It seemed to be a matter of time and their own shared consent.

The hesitation certainly wasn't from a lack of any desire, it was an abstinence borne of caution; a shared refusal to put their ultimately mundane physical wants over their sincere emotional preparedness. Sex was simply not important enough to warrant such potential for turmoil if either party wasn't really ready. 

Being childhood friends really complicates things. So, they'd always end up withdrawing in hesitation. Sex meant change. Big, scary change.

They could be celibate as far as both were concerned and they'd love one another forever, but that didn't make the urge itself just disappear. Of course they also had the decency and self control to be patient, never expecting or pushing anything. 

Will had only ever felt this way for Mike and Mike alone, which made it so stark and powerful when he felt that yearning for closeness. Only eyes for him. He'd barely even entertained the thought of another guy except in passing, met with immediate dismissal and mild repulsion. 

Other guys were cute to look at maybe, artistically gorgeous sure, but definitely not attractive like that. He didn't want to touch them, nor for them to touch him back.

It was just Mike he wanted. 

Sex in itself had never really been something Will cared to think about much. His relationship with sexuality aligned itself in a very specific manner; that somewhere in their time together, he developed the desire to share the experience with Mike and Mike only, if anyone . 

He was gay sure, but he was only interested in sex at all because of the rounded, healthy, mutual relationship they have. Will is interested in a single person; outside of that relationship and basic physiological drive, sex isn't really a strong factor in his mind and never had been.

He'd learned things, sought information– as a young queer does. He knew of sex, and even parts of how it works for people like himself. He knew his own drive, his own body. But he'd never shared that with another person.

It's just…a bonding activity people can do if they trust each other.

The thing is. He trusts Mike. Really trusts him.

So eventually, he did feel sexual attraction. Though it was new to him to actually want such a thing at all, he felt it as an expression of their bond. He knew most people felt it way more earlier on, but he couldn't really say the same. There had been vague curiosity, but not a strong interest until much later. Mostly after he and Mike were together in their teens.

Before that? He'd only felt aesthetic attraction, recognition of beauty; or romantic attraction to some guys he was close with, the urge to maybe kiss, hold hands, that kind of thing. 

With Mike, mostly. Perhaps Lucas at times, maybe even on occasion Dustin, if he was honest about old middle school crushes and questioning. 

Having the three sweetest guys in town for best friends had perks as a gay kid, particularly when they're all kind of adorable in their own way. Regardless, his soul and heart had settled on Mike. His first friend.

Could he feel sincere sexual attraction for someone other than Mike? Maybe, if he ever lost Mike and developed a new strong bond like theirs (unlikely)– but he sure as hell didn't plan on losing Mike.

His calm in sexual situations had always been a cover for the shame. Of course he had strong impulses in the backdrop of his mind while kissing or pressed close, however it was a matter of them constantly being overpowered by his own anxiety and leftover sexuality issues. 

No amount of intense homoerotic compulsion was worth making Mike feel uncomfortable, or causing some big emotional incident.

Insecurities about trauma, lack of experience, incompatible preferences, accidentally messing up, crossing boundaries, doing something embarrassing- any number of horrors were possible.

Don't even get him started on the fear of being perceived as creepy or pervy, no matter how natural it really was. He had grown used to sterilizing any physical desires into pure affection, reining in his more "taboo" wants. The affection was always real, but it also became a mask for an underlying, self-imposed, deeply unnatural sexual frustration. 

By now Mike knew every plane of the other's chest beneath his hands, he knew how it felt to kiss until both of their breaths fell ragged and heated from flush lips, he knew how the other sounded in moments where they'd slip near the point of crossing lines, knew how it felt to get dangerously close. Like, needing a cold shower and a foot of space to recover kind of close. 

In turn Will knew the way Mike would melt so fast into the slightest touch, knew the feeling of his warmth pressed flush, the feeling of the fleeting frictions they always drew away from, he knew the creeping heat that chased every touch, and the alarms that would always interrupt and tell him to stop .

Stop . You'll regret it. He'll regret it. It will change things.

The thing that stopped Mike on the other hand, was alike, but different. He felt more sexual attraction, but he'd never forgive himself if he made Will act on pressure. He refused to make his urges Will's problem. 

Mike didn't want to be a sex pest just because he wants it. Yes, he loves Will. He thinks he's gorgeous . He thinks about certain things sometimes– but it's definitely not on Will to do anything about it.

Being gay and wanting to fulfill his desires wouldn't give him a pass for being an entitled asshole, clearly. He knew that. It was healthy for him to want to explore things that way, but he was at a crossroads because of this dissonance. Mike was unsure of how to approach something like this without seeming demanding or something else terrible.

He never wanted to push Will or make those things more important than the person he loves … but he also still feels the amplified and unavoidable magnetism he so often feels for Will. He wanted to just ask if Will never wants to have sex, but he didn't know how to ask without scaring Will. He'd never leave him over that. Ever.

Mike was the most likely of them to initiate certain contact, and for this reason he always feared making Will feel expected to do things. Therefore, he erred on the side of caution always. 

He'd never want Will to think Mike might abandon him or throw a tantrum over such a thing. Mike had been prone to tantrums in his life, he'd admit that much. But not with this. Never. Nobody deserves that, and the idea of someone treating Will in such a way would make Mike downright violent.

He'd also had to get through his own stupid past biases regarding so much. Especially since he'd always had a stronger feeling of attraction to men in general from so early on that he'd hardly noticed it at first. 

He also still held shame about wanting certain things, for daring to like things heteronormative society has deemed as "degrading". He was in the process of putting this down. Unpacking it. No more feeling like a "lesser man" or whatever the hell that means. Mike was finally beginning to grow past this, ever so steadily. 

So what, he wants to fuck and be fucked by other guys? Suck a dick or two? Big whoop. He'd become bolder than ever, nurturing his ability to wear his queerness on his sleeve more in safe company, even if he was still in progress.

Mike had accepted his sexuality as a form of attraction subconsciously early on, but not as his own identity, and not as something to act on. He was still working on figuring out what it means to identify as queer. To live as queer.

Mike likes guys. Like… really likes them. Looking at them, thinking about them, the idea of touching them and more– But accepting and admitting that he, Mike Wheeler, is capital G Gay ? That had been a whole other can of worms. 

For years he could openly check men out, know he finds them attractive, sometimes even stare , and still somehow convinced himself it meant nothing about himself ("so what, I just have eyes and know handsome when I see it, right?"). Until he couldn't anymore, and when he couldn't deny, he hid. Until he couldn't anymore.

He had denied it, but with no awareness in the start. Subconsciously he'd been able to express that homoerotic tension in gazing, but he couldn't name it or face it head on.

He was almost there now though, he finally knows and accepts his truth in being gay. He now simply needed to find the way to act. To express that queerness with absolutely no more shame.

Meanwhile Will…in some ways, Will was the inverse. He accepted his identity as a gay person before accepting his orientation as a valid form of attraction. He'd spent years bearing it like a burden, knowing what he is without denial while simultaneously believing it was a flaw in his code. Pushing it down, away. Self aware and self loathing. He'd always felt he was a freak, and he confirmed it to himself quite early.

Now even at 20 Will was so fearful of sex, sensuality, all things erotic; not due to any actual fault, but in his own insecurities. Afraid to be disappointing, or worse, to have a bad flashback or a meltdown or something. Or even worse than that – to hurt the other by accident. It was all just terrifyingly vulnerable, delicate. 

With Mike? He'd certainly considered it and found it appealing in theory– but that's the thing.

Old biases clung, telling him there was something perverse and corrupting about his sexuality. Something inherently riskier and scarier about them being two young men, rather than man and woman. Something predatory and even violent about him just wanting Mike the way he does. 

He'd felt plenty of shame for the romantic parts, but all things more sexual and homoerotic felt far scarier. So, even after accepting the love…some things bloomed late in their relationship.

It was partially the internalized homophobia, that whole shebang. It still held on, even if they'd moved forward into accepting their romance, sex was another realm entirely, with its own heavier baggage. Logically he knew it was bunk, particularly as two consenting adults, but that didn't make pushing past the irrational fear and shame to act or try any easier.

On top of that, there was Will's whole…luggage compartment of trauma surrounding his sexuality. Hawkins. Bullies… the Upside Down. The Mind Flayer.

Henry. Lonnie. Everything.

There were things involved that Will had gone through, things that one way or another rooted into his psyche enough to distort his relationship with his sexuality, his autonomy, his very own body .

He remembered now, years later after sorting through his choppy memories. He remembered both now. The truth of his Father's treatment toward him, the truth of Henry's twisted mind. The horror of opportunistic exploitations and psychological abuse.

He remembered how Hopper and his mother found him there. 

The intrusion. What had happened before they found him. Before he almost died. That horrible thing in his throat. The choking, the fear, fading out of consciousness.

Then, he coughed up that little monster.

He knew what happened to him now. Even if he couldn't remember it clearly. He hadn't fully processed it for many years, a denial in the sheer horror of the truth– but in his young adulthood it haunted him to know.

Learning it was not just a monster that did that…but a man . Some sick, deranged man. Not an alien or a creature, but a calculated predator playing a mind game behind horrific fleshy puppets. Some sicko running around torturing and preying on kids and teenagers for fun.

That twisted the knife. He still nurses this psychological wound. A sore on his already complicated sexual identity. 

He knew all too well how the hivemind works. Henry had been fully cognisant of just how violating what he did to Will then was. Every moment. It wasn't just a mindless animal attacking him on instinct, no. 

It was a conscious act of abuse from a corrupted and horrible person. It felt so targeted. Sadistic. Revolting.

Henry had been inside of Will's very mind after all. He saw and took everything, and used it all in some game. Treated Will like another puppet, a doll to play around with. 

Abused him psychologically, physically, and more. Torture. 

Always lurking, too. With some kind of unfathomable obsession with Will . Will hadn't been the sole survivor, but other than a few, he was the first and only survivor for a time until others came after him, and Henry was always watching him.

Zombie Boy.

There was enough for him to cope with already in almost dying and being possessed , but being the victim of what was essentially a psycho-sexual assault at twelve and realizing it years later? Will eventually connecting these underlying dots about his attacker's depraved intentions toward himself and the other victims really didn't help. 

Years of stalking and obsession from a serial killer creep hiding behind the guise of monsters? Knowing he'd been used like a fucking incubator for some twisted creature experiment at twelve years old?! Yeah. That definitely stunted his relationship with his body and sex. Especially knowing what happened to him before the Upside Down. We'll come back to that.

There was a cruel sort of irony in being a young gay man and being the victim of such a thing from a man like Henry who had once been so similar to Will. It complicated the relationship with his own sexuality right along with his daddy issues from Lonnie. It made him feel afraid of his own orientation, of men in general. Not Mike, not his friends, not Jonathan or Hopper…but most men. Especially men like Henry, men like his father.

Lonnie…well let's just say there's a reason he was so aggressively homophobic, and it's not the reason anyone would think.

Will remembers now. He knows Lonnie's secret, and why he always treated Will like he did. He'd never told anyone, especially not his mother or Jonathan– because they'd blame themselves.

Will had been so young. It was a thin wisp of a memory that came to him as an adult, in being safe and knowing Lonnie could never come back…he remembered.

One night when he was little, so much so he could hardly remember it– a drunk Lonnie got "lost" and somehow ended up in his son's room in the night. Joyce had been gone, Jonathan was presumably asleep as well.

That night, Lonnie made his son do things. Touch him. Because Joyce wasn't there and he couldn't run out and find some quick affair– resulting in the first occurrence of Will being abused and exploited on mere opportunity. Lonnie'd probably hoped he was so young he'd never recall it.

That's why. That's why Lonnie treated him like that. He had the gall to molest his own son in a drunk haze and blame the child for it.

Will barely remembers… barely . But even the smallest recovered memories make him cringe and shrivel in on himself. 

Lonnie asking him for "help", the intrusive and unwanted acts he was made to perform, the darkness, being told he looks like his mother in the worst context possible in a drunken slur.

He thanked the universe that Lonnie was already dead when he remembered. He's not sure he could have taken it without a homicidal breakdown.

The worst part is that it made Will feel all the more sick about his orientation. He wondered now if that's why for so long, even before he remembered–...if that's why he always felt so much shame. Subconsciously.

A horrible little voice in his head would tell him "you're gay because of what he did, you're not supposed to be".

Lonnie had resented Will for being what he is…not even just because he's homophobic. But because Will clearly being gay only served to remind Lonnie what he'd done, it "held up a mirror", as Henry would say. 

Will understood now that Lonnie probably "blamed" himself for Will being gay, only to project and abuse him more rather than take any accountability. So he started to crack down, to hide all things vaguely sexual or "inappropriate" in fear of it opening Will's memories. Then Lonnie began to push and indoctrinate heteronormativity with strict aggression. The hunting, the baseball, the bullshit.

Meanwhile, in reality Will was constantly battling to remind himself that he simply is who he is. It doesn't mean he secretly wanted what happened, it doesn't mean he'd have been straight if he wasn't abused– none of that.

Like so many before him, he was ultimately just another queer kid who got exploited by an older person that only knows how to perpetuate abuse and exert control. Twice. Once by a normal man, and once again by a man that chose to shed his humanity. With a grotesque and repulsive supernatural twist.

He cringed to admit what it truly was by name, but he knew the visceral disgust and violation he felt in his internal acceptance of what they did to him. 

He'd held this in for so long. Years. About half of the time he'd spent barely recalling the actual trauma itself, only what his brain had allowed. 

He still hadn't told anyone, though he feared Jonathan suspected the truth. If anyone would know, it would be him. He saw who Lonnie was when Joyce wasn't there, and the asshole was bad enough when she was .

It took being safe for things to start unlocking, for the yarn of tension to unravel into this mess, left for him to pick apart.

Will was tired of this. He grew weary of it. He wanted to move past the stagnation. To let his mind and body be free of that burden. Above all, he didn't want the trauma to own him. To stand between him and something he wants with his lover.

Both young men had many reasons to hesitate and abstain for years even while together, but both deeply yearned to move past this. To find and nurture a new kind of intimacy. To heal. 

So, like these things so often go; due to an unanticipated compulsion on Mike's part, the dam eventually found a way to break through. Their mutual introspection on this matter was about to finally meet in the middle, opening the door for a much needed resolution to this tension. Overdue communication.

First it came with a question, then a discussion, soon to be followed by comfort, sincerity, and mutual acceptance. Little did Mike know, one fragile little question was about to open them up for a conversation that he could never be prepared for.

Mike sat on the other's bed, straddling Will's lap. Their mouths hovering and lingering in a deep, open kiss. All lips, teeth, tongues- hot breath. Hot everything .

He felt almost dizzy with the affection; a cocktail of oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine. A rush, yet so relaxed at once. Some mixtape crooned idly in the back, things like Joy Division and Depeche Mode passively playing on distracted and uncaring ears.

Will was below him, hands on the other's lower back just under his shirt. Held firm as if to draw him in close, evoking shivers as they sat up in the bed. 

They'd been like this for some time, and though Mike grew increasingly flustered, Will seemed almost too calm. Like a mask. Another kiss came, then a heavy breath, a bite to Will's lip, a pause.

"Will-...?" A breathless sigh leading up to the question.

"Hm?" A soft reply, unsuspecting of what was about to unfold.

"...I really want-" Mike searched for the words, then found them. He hesitated, looking down as if nervous. "…to touch you. Actually touch you."

Will felt his stomach flip, and something shifted. He'd been so detached from these moments, so cautious in his fear. Yet, hearing these words pushed past something that had been holding him back.

"Can I please…touch you?" Mike reiterated gently, hesitating with his hands poised on the other's chest. He met Will's gaze again, more sure of himself.

Will hesitated. "There's…something we should talk about."

Mike looked startled, and Will set a hand on his cheek. "Nothing to do with you , don't look scared." 

"It's…context. About me. Things that I haven't told you about…everything." Will averted his gaze.

Mike seemed confused, worried. "Will-...?"

"I just…want you to understand why I act so skittish about this stuff. It's not just – the homophobia and that shit." Will swallowed, pushing a lump in his throat down.

With an expression of deep concern, Mike stared. "You can tell me."

"Two things...I'll start with–" Will took a deep breath. 

"Lonnie." Will began, organizing his thoughts. Mike stared blankly. "What about that douchebag?"

Will gulped, staring at the floor.

I can say it. I can say it. Just say it. Say what he did.

"... Mike. He molested me. Told me to do things for him. When I was a kid." Will spoke so quietly Mike had to replay in his head to make sure he'd heard him right, jaw dropping in horror.

"Just. One time. He was drunk, mom wasn't around, he couldn't find a one night stand– and I was there. Vulnerable. But once is enough to do the damage…I was so little. I forgot for years . I don't know what's worse, knowing – or the idea that I could have gone my entire life without knowing." Will swallowed hard, tearing up.

"W-...was this before or after he started yelling at us to stop being so touchy as kids?" Mike asked in a quiet and delicate tone, in shock.

"Before. I'm almost certain now that they're relevant to one another." Will trembled, and Mike cautiously took his hand with a pained expression.

"He treated me… us like that because it made him think about what he did. Probably thought he "made me gay" or something else ridiculous like that. He was projecting his guilt. Maybe he thought I'd remember and tell you, or that we'd do something because of what he- what I–…" Will trailed off, disgusted.

"Who knows. I don't know if he was secretly queer and self loathing or if I was just conveniently there , but it doesn't actually matter in the end I guess." He hissed, lips curled with contempt.

" That's why he was so homophobic. Why he was so insistent on keeping me and Jonathan under his thumb about what's "appropriate"…he was distancing himself from his crime and anything he considered adjacent to it. Grooming me away from anything that may encourage me to talk about or actually process it." Will seethed through his teeth, his expression hardening in anger.

Mike draped an arm over Will, then hesitated. "This fine? I don't wanna force contact right now."

"Yes…yes, always with you. You're my safe person." Will leaned in closer, accepting the comfort. Mike squeezed, feeling a weight in his chest and a sting in his eyes. There was a pause, then Will continued.

"There's also…you remember– ugh. Dart?" Will began, wondering how the hell to break something like this.

"Yeah…?" Mike seemed significantly more confused.

"I never explained to you something that happened. The reason he existed and I knew he wasn't…just an animal. It wasn't just a vague hivemind connection– I mean…yeah there was that but–" Will gulped, and Mike grew increasingly confused as he struggled to understand where the pieces connect. 

"Henry…and his monsters–" Will blinked back tears. "They violated me." 

Mike felt a chill, slowly starting to understand.

"I coughed something up. That…slug thing. And for the longest time I was in denial of what happened before they found me, what it actually meant , I had amnesia for so much of it, but I–" A small sob escaped him. 

"There was this thing. In the Upside Down. Those…tendrils. It went down my throat and– laid eggs. I guess." Will looked like he could retch.

"It would be bad enough if it was just some fucking alien but it wasn't just that. It was a man hiding behind a monster. Like a coward…" He trailed off, cracking as he shook his head and buried his face in his hands. 

"I was an incubator. It was Henry, Mike. Vecna. He knew what he was doing…what am I supposed to think about his intent? What sort of sick gratification did he get? He was in the hivemind from the beginning after all! Connected to all of it. I'll never know if there was something else in it for him. It's like a filth I can't scrub off." Will's voice quivered.

Mike looked mortified, speechless.

"Mom and Hopper didn't ever tell me what they found, and I didn't remember it all at first. But I do more now. I do…it's this disgusting blemish on my brain that distorts things. Like some sick ironic punishment for being queer, or maybe a ritualized reenactment of my already existing trauma. I know I wasn't the only one but– that piece of shit was good at that. Looking at people and finding a way to hit them where it hurts the most. I have a hard time believing he didn't take…inspiration– from my memories."

"God, Will." Mike began, at a loss. "I'm sorry you've held that in so long…you've never told anybody that you remember this happening? Or about Lonnie?" 

Will shook his head, seeming deeply disturbed to acknowledge this aloud. "It's so disgusting to even think about. It took years before I grasped it. It's so humiliating that I was in denial…it's dehumanizing ! Mom and Hopper couldn't possibly know how to talk to me about what they already know, they probably hope I forgot how they found me in there!"

Will balled his hands into fists in his lap as he spoke, his words growing more rambly and anxious. "I sure as hell can't tell anyone else but you outside of them…but it's been consuming me for years. This awful, rotting secret layer of trauma. I mean…we can never hope to understand what went through that Vecna's head but I– I think it's clear he derived more than just intellectual satisfaction from his obsession with domination. In at least…some cases." He shook, taking a deep breath to gather himself. He squared his shoulders, feeling his expression fall flat as he stared at the floor.

"Hey. Will? Look at me." Mike muttered, so cautiously. Will turned to look, his expression somewhere between agony and apathy.

"You're allowed to feel it. I can see you about to bottle it back up…please don't, Will. Let yourself feel the pain and heal." Mike tenderly set a hand on his cheek, brushing away a tear. 

That did it, and Will cracked again. He broke down, sobbing and leaning into Mike's chest. He buried his face and clung for security, letting out so much rage, pain, disgust, horror. He sobbed, clutching desperately. "Mike… I can't-?" 

"... Why ?" Will hissed behind tears, asking a question with no answer as he clung tight to Mike's shirt.

Mike could only embrace Will, swathing him in his arms urgently with tears in his own eyes as he understood this horrible event he'd never even known about. As if everything Will already survived wasn't bad enough… that too? 

Something so unspeakable and with no closure beyond his abusers' deaths? Not even knowing for sure with Henry, but simply wondering . Only able to estimate his psychological involvement in the assault. Mike felt angry, but he pushed this down to prioritize offering comfort.

Will cried, letting it go until he couldn't anymore. He grew quieter, but all the while held tight to Mike, grateful for his presence.

After a long time of this, a silence fell. Peace after the storm. Mike simply sat there, holding him close to his chest with lips passively pressed to the top of his head.

Will leaned back, wiping at his eyes with a frail, weak smile. "...You know what though, Mike?"

Mike looked at him closely, his expression still concerned, but so loving. "Hm?"

"Even with all of that? I want to move on . I want control of my own agency. I don't want that horror to control me forever. That's why I'm telling you...because– I trust you. I do. So after telling you that?" He took a deep breath.

"You can-...you can touch me. I want to be touched on my own terms… If you still want to after I cried all over you. If not now, soon. I'm…ready." Will scoffed nervously at the end of his statement and sniffed, his eyes puffy and shadowed.

Mike softened, leaning in to kiss his forehead. He rested there a moment as if thinking, lips pressed to the crown of Will's skull delicately. 

"Thank you for trusting me. I'll make sure it's well placed…you deserve to feel safe. To never have to feel… abused again. I want to take care of you. However you need me to."

Will took a shaky breath, tilting his head up to kiss Mike's lips again. Tenderly, lovingly. Conveying so much gratitude and unconditional mutual love. Mike met him there, locking lips to comfort his dearest friend.

"So you want this? Now? I just-...you were crying." Mike hesitated, a bit pensive. 

Will smiled, and though it was a bit melancholy, it was sincere. "Mhm. I do. As long as you do. I needed that off my chest first- but… I want to have this with you." 

Upon being given this permission, Mike's hands cautiously migrated down the other's front, admiring the soft yet firm planes of his torso through his shirt for the thousandth time. Mike was slow, and as his hands made timid contact with the other's hips beneath the hem of his shirt, he stopped again to be clear. 

"You're sure I can? I don't want you to feel coerced or like something is expected." He muttered anxiously, fingers fidgeting in the loops of Will's belt. 

"Yes– seriously, yes. I…I want you to. You don't have to either, but I want it. The nerves aren't because I don't want this . " Will replied softly, biting his lip.

Mike's breath caught, and he gently pressed his face into the other's neck to hide, absently leaving trails of gentle love bites and kisses in his wake. This allowed him to distract his mind enough to put aside the fear, sliding a hand slowly along the other's body before pressing a careful hand between his thighs.

Will gasped softly at the light pressure, taking a slow breath. Mike paused there, planting a kiss on his jaw.

"Stop me if you need to. Even just for second thoughts. No matter what, okay? You never have to do anything you don't want." Mike whispered close to his ear.

"Okay."

In so little time Will felt a near surreal and amplified feeling in everything, a loud existential awareness of how he once would have thought such things could never happen. That he'd never be here. Happy. Together with Mike. So trusting, so close. In love. His abusers dead and gone. He finally let go of some tensions held in his body, melting under the touch.

"This good?" Mike uttered, working gentle circular motion against the other with a cautious hand. Will sucked in a slow breath, head tipping back. "Yes–"

This whisper of approval seemed to tell Mike something he needed to hear, and with it he gave more friction, earning a shallow and choked sound in the other's throat. 

Mike hummed thoughtfully, nervous yet emboldened. "I want…to make you feel good. For us to feel good together . Is that okay?"

Will smiled, however nervous. "Yes…I really trust you."

Then, Mike took him by the front of the shirt and pushed him to lay on his back. Will complied with a shaky sigh, taking in the view from below. The long messy black hair, the adoring dark eyed stare.

"This fine?" Mike prompted with a light tone, smiling softly despite his bold actions. 

" Extremely fine." Will replied breathlessly, making Mike chuckle.

Mike wiggled ever so slightly closer, making Will take a deep breath of restraint at the resulting friction in his lap. He wanted to let this play out, to see what Mike was thinking. Mike slowly grinded their bodies together, and Will could only roll his head back and rock hesitantly in time with the feeling. 

Keeping this up, Mike leaned on that friction for a long moment as they both began to pant softly with effort. Will allowed himself to embrace it, setting his hands on Mike's hips as they let themselves move together shamelessly for once.

They chased this, holding the momentum just a bit longer before slowing to barely anything. They were both breathless then, mildly stunned.

"I guess it's fair then to assume neither of us have actually done anything…?" Mike trailed off, muttering his query against the other's neck as he leaned into the familiar task of trailing kisses up the skin there. Will smirked and leaned into his lips, a bit tense but still eager to see what was happening. 

"No shit, Captain Obvious." He joked, managing a nervous chuckle. 

Mike scoffed fondly, poking him in the side. "Hush, it's better to know for sure." 

Will swallowed his nerves down and found a small smile on his face. "Yeah. I haven't done anything…it's always just been…you."

Mike pressed a kiss to his jaw. "Just me, huh…?" He seemed in awe.

"Just you." Will confirmed with a smile and a laugh, carding a hand into the other's hair. 

"And have you…thought about these things? With "just me" ?" Mike mumbled, gently biting an untouched patch of skin at his throat.

"Of course." Will replied softly, no hesitation. He surprised even himself with his honesty.

Mike leaned back, licking his lips. He braced a hand on the other's chest. "Like what?"

Will felt his face radiating heat from embarrassment– yet the embarrassment itself almost felt nice. A fun sort of embarrassing with the only person in the world he fully trusts like this.

"Like…" Will searched for words. His gaze lingered on Mike's hand at his chest, then elevated to fixate on his face looming above. He hesitated, face flushed and eyes wide. 

Mike loved the view, if he was honest.

"It's…a little…" Will began, trailing off though his gaze remained locked in.

"Embarrassing? So what. All of this stuff is." Mike chuckled softly, tapping his fingers against the other's chest playfully. "I want to hear, if you'll tell me. You don't have to, though. Nothing like that."

"Things like…" Will paused, a bit anxious. "...Mmm- Nope, I can't say them. Words."

Mike laughed patiently, and Will felt his chest flutter. "That's ok. Could you…show me instead? Would that be okay?"

Will stared, his mouth hanging. He'd let him do that? Show him what he means without saying it? Without knowing ahead?

"You sure?"

"Like you said. I trust you. I want this-... with you. If you do. I trust that you'll take care of me, and I know we'll figure it out. If words are hard…show me." Mike smiled, his gaze warm and fond. So sure of this.

He set a hand on Will's cheek. "It's not like you'd ever hurt me. Not for real anyway. I'll stop you if I doubt anything."

"Not for real anyway ." Will's mind echoed.

Oh .

Those implications gave Will chills, and he gulped at the thought before gathering his nerve.

Will rolled gently, hands held tight on the other's hips as he laid Mike down carefully below himself. Mike blinked up at him with bright eyes, seeming pleasantly surprised.

"Stop me the second you aren't sure about something. Got it? It applies to you, too." Will whispered, looking him over with a lingering gaze of admiration.

Mike gulped, nervous yet excited. "...G-got it. Trust me though, you're good ."

Will nuzzled lightly against the other's neck, then adoringly locked his lips on the skin, slowly but surely tracing his way down every few inches. As he did so, his hands worked the buttons of Mike's shirt open. 

He shuffled down, sliding his hips between the other's legs as Mike complied and wiggled out of the shirt, tossing it aside while letting his legs fall open.

Trailing his lips down Mike's chest, Will then glanced up to catch his expression just as he was level with his naval. He wished he could dedicate the look of awe and disbelief plastered on Mike's face to memory. 

Will kissed his hip, pausing as he smoothed a hand over the front of his jeans cautiously. "This good?" 

Mike nodded, letting out a choked sound in confirmation. "M-mhm. Very."

Will took a deep breath, bracing his nerves before working the other's pants down and off. He moved quickly back to his prior position, planting a loving kiss to the patch of hair that trailed from his naval to the waist of his underwear. Mike's stomach seemed to jump, the muscles tensing momentarily at the pleasantly jarring sensation.

Will hooked a finger past the band of his underwear, looking up as if for final permission. 

"Yes." Mike replied, patiently observing. 

He then made a soft sound at the small release of tension that came with Will removing his fabric confines, squirming a bit to help get them off. 

Will paused, old voices in his mind rising back to the surface for only a moment as he took in the other's body. He was just…lovely. Worthy of a million figure sketches. So many pale freckles, begging to be memorized and charted like stars.

Creep.

Pervert.

He then promptly squashed these thoughts, finding an exhilaration in looking his demons in the eye and saying "Fuck you, so what if I like this? He does too."

"Mike…you're gorgeous." He murmured, smiling as he just admired. His lover. The one he adores and trusts.

Will let go of the bad thoughts, transmuting his old shame into spiteful motivation. No. He wasn't disgusting. He wasn't wrong for wanting to express these things, for loving Mike this way and for being loved. There is nothing wrong with them; nothing wrong with him finding another man so beautiful, nothing wrong with wanting to share in feeling good together. 

Mike hesitated. "Not that I don't- love this. But don't you want-...protection? I brought some."

"I mean– if you haven't been with anyone else I can't see a reason to need it. Unless you want me to for assurance, but I'm fine without…not like I'm going to do anything with anyone else. I kind of…want it this way, if that's okay." Will replied, pausing.

Mike licked his lips. "If you're fine, I'm fine. It's just you and me anyway."

Will then let go, leaning forward to embrace one of many overdue withheld desires. Without shame, fear, revulsion, guilt. None of that.

Gentle, careful hands immediately found their way to Will's hair, and though he felt a touch awkward, clearly he was doing something right judging by the sounds the other made on contact. Will found himself surprised by how easy this was with Mike, how he felt so little hesitation in the act upon letting himself have it. He'd been so afraid of this.

Will lost himself in it for a time as the other stroked his hair lovingly, then Will's eyes flitted closed in the focus on familiarizing with the foreign task before him. Letting go of fears about this one very simple form of intimacy. Nothing to be scared of, not with Mike .

He lost track of himself so well in fact, that Mike was soon pulling him off by his hair. Will followed the tug, leaning back with a few soft, heavy puffs of breath.

"...Keep that up and it'll be over too soon." Mike announced in a somewhat strained voice.

Will snickered in mild surprise, speaking between kisses to his midriff. "So what you're saying is–" A kiss. "I'm doing a good job?" 

"No shit, Captain Obvious." Mike parroted, making Will snort. 

"Don't make me laugh when I'm almost eye level with your dick, for fuck's sake." Will laughed more anyway, seeming deeply amused as he hovered his lips against the other's stomach.

Mike giggled breathlessly, his expression soft. There was something intimate about their humor creeping in seamlessly at a time like this. Silliness not being considered an outright "mood killer", just banter fuel. Another form of interpersonal understanding.

"But you love when I make you laugh-" Mike retorted knowingly, smirking. Will hummed, returning the smug look. "You got me."

"Jokes aside, you really were doing good." Mike assured, his tone soft.

"Got anything else you wanted to do?" He then continued, raising a brow as he ran a hand through the other's hair. "Or should I share instead?"

Will felt a rush, and Mike laughed at his expression. "I take it you like the second idea more than you're gonna say out loud." 

Will cleared his throat, averting his gaze coyly. "You won't catch me complaining…I want to do things you'll like."

Mike moved aside, making eyes. "Well– Right now... I'd like you in my mouth." 

Will almost spluttered at the candor, rolling as Mike pushed him gently onto his back and moved in to happily return the favor. He tugged Will's shirt over his head, taking in the view for the millionth time while instinctively biting his lip. Mike then kissed down his chest slowly but steadily, tracing light friction against his front as he went. 

"This okay?" He affirmed, looking up to Will.

"M-mhm."

Will uttered a heavy groan as Mike freed him from his pants. He looked up to Will as he braced on his elbows. 

"You should see your face." Mike teased, receiving an adoring roll of the eyes from the other. He traced a finger over the head, biting his lip as he watched Will wince pleasurably at the sensation. 

"Mike-..."

Mike set himself forward, taking the other between his lips much as Will had just done. He sucked a breath through his nose as Will set a hand in his hair, slowly accommodating more of him over time as he grew used to it. 

Will seemed in awe, watching with a fixed gaze as Mike dedicated himself wholly to the task. 

"God, that's obscene." He commented, tearing his eyes away as if overwhelmed by the sight. 

Mike kept it up for some time, slowly working him up and suspending him in that urgency. Flicks of the tongue, heat, pressure. Will felt his train of thought scrambling by the second while he held himself as still as physically possible for fear of gagging the other. 

Then, Mike suddenly withdrew, seeming determined about something. Will caught his breath, his body buzzing with restraint.

Mike shuddered, then climbed halfway up into Will's lap, tugging him closer to whisper in his ear, a bit meek but sure of himself nonetheless. "I-... want you to top me. Like, now, preferably."

Will swallowed hard. "Oh… Oh. "

Wow. Yeah, okay. He said that.

You repeat the cycle.

You lust for him like a parasite.

Predator.

Monster.

The intrusive thoughts returned, and yet again he spitefully turned them into fuel. 

Shut up. No, fuck you actually. You're full of shit. He wants this–…wants me.

"And you're sure ?" Will breathed, timid. 

" So sure." Mike gave enthusiastic confirmation. "Wouldn't say it if not."

Mike then smiled softly, his affection shining through. "I know you don't want to hurt me. You won't. I mean, accidents can happen– but I really don't think you'll hurt me at all. I know you. You're so patient." 

Will gulped. "...Reading my mind, I see." 

Mike chuckled. "Guess I just get you. I promise, Will–... I want this, and I trust you more than anyone else." 

Will bit his lip, then smiled. "Okay-...I want it too, I do . To be honest I've…thought about it, even." He admitted, glancing away as Mike gave him a smug look at the confession.

He continued. "I just get nervous. You're right that I really don't want to hurt you. Ever."

A pause in silence, then Mike smirked ever so slightly, a dimple peeking out. "Never ever ? Not even in the fun ways?" 

Will flushed, clearing his throat. "Uh- I mean. That's… that could be an exception. If it's what you want."

Mike pulled him up closer by his hair with a soft, endeared laugh. "You're too good for me." He muttered, meeting him for a kiss.

"No such thing." Will replied the moment they withdrew, smiling fondly. 

"I have…the stuff we'd need." Mike indicated, glancing at his overnight bag.

Will laughed under his breath, putting on a stuffy voice. "I charge you with premeditated sodomy."

Mike snickered. "See but the thing is they decriminalized all that stuff a few years ago, too bad. Kinda makes it less exciting if it's not a crime. How dare we be homos in our own homes as happily committed adults."

Will couldn't help but burst into laughter at his wisecracking. "Jesus Christ , Michael."

Mike grinned. "Mm. You're pretty when you laugh." 

Will softened, hovering near his lips. "And you're just…beautiful. Ridiculous, goofy, and beautiful. I love you." He reached over for the bag, stretching aside. 

Mike took in this view, gaze lingering in anticipation. "And I love you." He replied, watching the other closely. Swallowing nervously behind his smile, Will eyed the bottle in his hands. So foreign to him. 

"Can you take off your pants for me?" Mike bargained, giving eyes again.

Will feigned a sigh, slipping out of his already disheveled and half stripped pants. "You've really got me whipped, y'know?"

Mike chuckled. "Oh, I know ."

Shuffling closer and tossing a wad of clothes aside, Will took a deep breath as Mike took in his whole body with a hungry gaze. Will fought the urge to gulp, speaking in a low voice. "You're really ready?" 

Mike nodded and shifted in a bit more as well, seeming very assured. "Absolutely, yes." 

"Have you done anything like this…alone? So I know uh- if you…" Will trailed off at the end of his question, knowing he just had to be glowing red like a fire engine 

"Mhm. More than a few times…recently, even." Mike admitted, glancing away. "Just. Y'know- fingers. So I'd know what I'm…getting into. You don't have to worry about uh, cleanliness, either. I don't know… a lot, but I know a bit."

"...Okay uh-" Will hesitated, clearing his throat. "This will probably be easier if you're facing down… anatomically, as a first."

Mike pursed his lips. "Mm. Okay, for now- I kinda wanna see your face though…" He trailed off a bit, his tone meek.

Will bit his cheek, gulping back his own enthusiasm. "Alright. If things go right…I'll make sure you get that." 

"You seem more aware of how this works than I expected." Mike gave a small side eye.

"Porn exists, Mike. It's not real , but you still learn some things." 

Mike cackled, taken aback. "Well damn, where are you getting decent educational material out of gay porn in Hawkins ? I want your sources. I barely even know any vernacular, let alone how this all actually works."

Will rolled his eyes in amusement. "You poor thing. Guess I'll have to teach you what little I know. We have got to get to Chicago and find some more gay friends or something. Poor undereducated smalltown fags." 

Mike rolled to his stomach, laughing quietly. "Bestow me with your queer sex ed, o wise one." He teased, giggling as Will lightly prodded his side in response. 

"You being silly is slowing this down y'know. You're distractingly charming." Will leaned in, kissing his shoulder. Mike arched into it, letting out a deep sigh as Will settled over his body. 

"But if I'm not silly what's left of me? Silly is how I flirt . Besides, I'm in no hurry. Take your time, we've got all night, yeah?" Mike leaned backward, pressing into Will's front as he spoke. This received a deep groan of restraint from the other.

"You're killing me." Will mumbled, burying his face in the other's neck as he grinded his hips forward briefly. 

Will then leaned back to shift, moving into a more suitable position. Mike grew quiet as Will's hands slid along his sides, then hesitated on his hips.

Freak.

Degenerate.

Disgusting.

A deep breath, and he let it go again. 

Will reminded himself he already has permission for this, that there's nothing stopping him but himself.

Bracing while hugging a pillow near his head, Mike settled in and let go of some tension. 

Several beats of silence passed as Will gently encouraged him by tracing hands up his sides, raising goosebumps in his wake. Mike got chills at the sensation, taking a deep breath to ease himself in anticipation.

Mike heard some soft clicks, rustling. 

"Ready?"

"Mhm." 

"'Kay. Relax…"

Then and only then, upon seeing the other visibly relax, Will began the process of preparation with a single digit. He began at a cautious pace, curling and gently pressing. Will tipped the bottle in his free hand, giving just a bit more lube to work with. 

Sucking in a breath at the mild chill of the fluid, Mike arched with anticipation, relaxing as best he could nonetheless. He leaned slightly into the protrusion as it cautiously worked inside of him, easing him open to reduce unwanted friction. Will leaned close, kissing Mike's shoulders and back for a distraction from the performance anxiety.

Mike made a soft sound of approval, leaning into the touch. "Will…it's okay- it's okay. There's no pressure, you're doing fine." He uttered knowingly, speaking right into Will's thoughts.

Some of Will's nerves dissipated, and he allowed himself to move a bit more confidently, though still careful. He struck something lightly, and Mike let out a pleased gasp. Will noted the angle, taking a deep breath of focus.

"You said you've done this with your fingers…? How many?" Will asked quietly, a touch embarrassed even if he managed to push past it to communicate effectively. Words. Oh the words.

"I uh-... three." 

Will took a deep breath, nodding against the other's neck before planting a kiss. "You're very relaxed…that's perfect, hold onto that."

Mike sighed, humming an affirmative in reply. It was odd, as it always had been at first, but he was familiar enough to know it wouldn't help to be tense about it. He was definitely relieved that he wasn't going into this without any familiarity. It helped that he was putty at the feeling of Will looming behind him like this, though.

The mere fact that it was Will had him melting anyway, he was more relaxed in that moment with him than he'd ever been doing this alone. He was nervous, but he could put it down so easily with Will.

While alone, doing anything more than jerking off usually got too cerebral. He had to think about it too much, he'd get in his head. He'd managed to mess with this stuff some, and even enjoyed it of course, but this ? 

He found himself lost in the proximity, in the sincerity. The trust. In Will . They'd take it easy, and he could know Will wouldn't rush a thing. He felt truly comfortable, safe, adored.

By the time Will had him worked up to two, Mike was clearly beyond the "tolerable" phase and had cruised quite smoothly into enjoying himself. He panted softly and occasionally let out sounds caught between short laughs and groans, meeting every touch with small rolls backward.

Will was mesmerized with this, watching him closely as he went on cautiously massaging in the apparent right direction. He was approximating the motions in his own experience with himself, hoping it would be right.

"It's good? Doesn't hurt or anything?" He muttered curiously, watching the other through his lashes with a soft gaze.

"Mhm- s'good. Little weird, but good ." Mike managed, finding words a bit difficult.

"Good." Will replied, kissing his neck sweetly. "You're doing wonderful. You really are-..."

Mike made a choked sound, and Will found himself smiling against his neck. "You like hearing that, that you're doing good?" 

Another choked back whimper. "Y-yes." 

Will kissed his neck again, breathless in disbelief of this entire situation. "God, that's cute." 

"...No, you." Mike teased despite being muffled against a pillow, finding his audacity. 

Rolling his eyes, Will leaned back for stability, moving his free arm around to the other's front as Mike propped up slightly on his knees. 

Mike gasped as the new sensation layered itself over the first, a surprised sound escaping him. He let it wash over him, remaining relaxed. Will groaned and took a deep breath, holding onto his restraint with a figurative vice grip as he continued to pace himself cautiously. 

"You're doing… so good." He mumbled, smiling softly as he hovered over the other's back. 

No rushing, not when he could enjoy every moment of it so thoroughly while ensuring all would go smoothly and feel good for both of them. He'd hold on, working up to each step with vigilant care. No less for the love of his life, his best friend.

By the third digit, Mike was clearly eager to proceed, and all of Will's inhibitions seemed to melt away at the undeniable fact that Mike wanted this just as badly. Seemingly more, even. The shame couldn't get in, not here. 

Still, he proceeded with slow and steady care. After a few more minutes like this, a thread seemed to wear thin in Mike, however.

"Will-...just, please." 

"Hmm?"

"I think I can now."

"...You sure?"

"Yeah-... yes . I want-...you." 

Will nodded, satisfied with this confirmation. He withdrew both of his hands, moving back to ensure he was also ready for this.

Once prepared, he leaned over the other's back and planted a kiss between his shoulders. "Ready?" 

" Yes ." Mike sounded certain, and Will felt reassured as he gently pressed onward with a guiding hand. A soft hiss and sigh escaped Will at the fit, but to his relief for both of their sake, the other didn't seem tense and only let out a pleased sound. 

Will sank further, slowly, carefully. No major resistance yet. He couldn't feel Mike's pulse like an unsettling vice grip or anything; just a firm, pleasant throb. That was a good sign.

He rocked cautiously forward, holding onto the other with a loving grip. Then Mike made a choked sound, his whole body stuttered, and Will stopped immediately. 

"Mike? You okay?"

With a muffled laugh into the pillow he'd face planted in and a coy thumbs up, he replied without looking back. "Fuck yeah , I am. Never better." 

Will scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Smartass." 

"What about my ass?" Mike joked in a deadpan voice, pressing backward. Will could only groan and sigh, fond but exasperated. "I can't believe you sometimes." 

He didn't really move at first, ensuring that he wouldn't strain Mike or hurt him. Causing tearing or anything of that sort would be his worst nightmare . Then, hesitantly, he allowed himself slow motions forward, gently rocking into the other at a tender pace. 

Mike made a quiet sound in his chest, and Will felt his heart hit his throat. "Still okay?"

"Mhm- more than okay . It's good…just jarring. Promise." Mike assured him between heavy breaths, his posture still unexpectedly lax. He confirmed his enthusiasm by cautiously rocking back in kind, uttering a few low, stilted groans.

Will kissed his shoulders, finding a firm hold on his hips. "Let me know when you want more, 'kay?"

"Nnh- 'kay." 

"You know it's funny, I always thought you'd want this the other way first-" Will couldn't help but to tease a bit, grinding forward firm but slow. 

Mike let out a muffled groan, then huffed as if feigning offense. "What, cause I'm taller? Stereotype, much. I like the idea of both equally in different ways, actually ." He joked, grinning.

Will sighed, chuckling. "You're literally goofing around while I'm inside you, Mike. And no, actually, it's because you're such a leader type I thought suuurely–" He rebutted, clearly enjoying himself.

"You started it, and you think it's cute." Mike replied smugly, rocking back with a gentle motion.

Another sigh from Will, then a kiss to Mike's spine. "You got me again– I do, in fact, find you very cute. To be fair I like the thought of both too, so that's actually a huge relief. Takes some pressure off." 

"I mostly just…wanted to show you how much I trust you." Mike admitted, suddenly so genuine. Will softened, planting a kiss to his skin.

Another break in banter fell upon them as Will cautiously found a pattern of motion, holding tight as he guided the other along in kind by the hips. 

Near silence returned, replaced with low sounds of approval, heavy breaths, and the quiet alert of a rocking mattress. Both fell into the feelings, chasing a gentle, synchronous rhythm.

"Hey, Mike?" Will mumbled over his back, his tone sweet.

"Mm?"

"I love you." He concluded with a tender inflection, kissing his spine once more. 

Mike shuddered pleasantly, arching into the kiss. "I love you too. So much." 

"You're doing good. Still feel good?" Will asked fondly, reaching forward to brush a hand through his hair.

Mike nodded, sighing shakily. "Yes-" 

Another grinding motion, and Mike clutched at the bedding. "Ah- that's…" A gasp. "More. More of that – please."

Will groaned quietly, admiring the way the other pressed ever closer and spread his legs in the process. "Faster?"

"God, yes." 

He complied eagerly, whining his hips forward with purpose and earning a loud whimper from the other. This held up for a few minutes of eager but cautious motion, only for Mike to eventually raise his head from the pillow to speak, stammering with effort.

"Actually, c-can we try-...can I face you?" 

"If you think you'll be comfortable enough now." Will kissed his shoulder, pausing. "If you want it so bad, who am I to say no? We can try."

Mike made a weak sound as Will withdrew their bodies from one another to shift, then he rolled himself onto his back. Moving in closer again while lifting Mike into his lap, Will reached up, settled back, and slid a pillow under him. 

"Comfy?" 

"Mhm."

Will poised himself again, then paused to ensure everything was still effectively lubricated. "Remember to stay relaxed. I don't want to hurt you." 

"Okay, don't worry, I am." Mike replied, his eyes drifting over the other with certainty.

Mike then took a deep breath as he let go of remaining tension in his body, sliding a hand to weave his fingers over Will's as he gripped one of Mike's thighs.

Will propped one of his legs up cautiously, then let the other leg fall open as Mike arched his body to follow the angle. Will felt borderline high on the impossibility of it all as he loomed overhead, taking it in with a tender awe.

"...Ready." Mike uttered patiently, a crooked smile hanging on his lips.

"'Kay, I'm gonna have to be slower again, though." Will murmured, kissing the other's knee. Mike shivered.

Will gently guided himself back into place, rocking forward with a deep sigh of relief. Mike gazed up at the other in awe, absorbing the look of him with his eyes fluttering closed, looming so close, taking up Mike's entire point of view.

Mike made a sound and rocked into him with a cautious enthusiasm, this moan louder than any previous. Will's hips stuttered gently at the mild surprise, and he groaned, his grip on the other's thigh tightening. 

"It's… really good, actually. This angle." Mike gasped, squirming in anticipation.

"Yeah?" Will asked, finding another slow and firm pace.

"M-mhm. I love seeing you…" Mike breathed, sincere in the heat of it all.

Will slid his free hand down Mike's front, touching him with a measured but eager urgency as he held his pace. The other could only let out a strained whine, arching into the feeling. 

To Will's enamour and mild concern, Mike began laughing softly, tears forming in his eyes. 

"You okay, Mike?" Will asked while slowing everything, his tone soft. 

"God, yes-...good tears. Very good. Just…happy." Mike pleaded low in response, hands now clinging to the other's arms.

Will leaned in, kissing the other deeply to give him an outlet for the building pressure. Mike reciprocated eagerly, making a choked sound as Will cautiously sped up.

"Mm– oh. Oh ." Mike gasped, rocking faster in kind as he found momentum. "Stop-" 

Will stopped immediately upon hearing the word, and Mike laughed in endearment at the show of just how seriously Will took the matter of his consent. This of course, made Will shudder at the light jittering feeling inside of him.

Mike continued. "Wait no- I meant… stop touching, but keep moving. I don't want to bust yet, just got too close." 

Will felt a wave of heat rush over him, and he complied happily. He moved in while firmly grinding, angling with purpose. He gently took Mike's hands, locking their fingers to press both hands beside his head. Mike let out another choked sound, something between a gasp and a giggle. "Fuck– that's nice ."

Will groaned weakly, feeling a build of intense pressure rising to a fever pitch just under his skin. 

"You're… unbelievable." Will muttered into Mike's chest, at a loss for words as he kept on. He grew a bit winded, but his own building urgency held up stronger than any creeping fatigue.

"You sound close-" Mike replied, blowing right past Will's comment.

Will couldn't help a low, breathless laugh. "Can you blame me?"

"Not complaining…" Mike uttered, his tone a bit shaky from being lightly jostled. "Just cause I wanted to wait doesn't mean you have to." 

Will made a sound of barely contained delight, laughing softly in his chest once more. "Oh yeah?"

"Mhm- this feels– amazing. I can handle it if you want to…let go a bit now. I want you to."

With a groan and a firm change in grasp back to Mike's hips, Will lifted him up slightly, his expression visibly softening.

"You're so–..." Will cut himself off, hooking an arm around Mike's back for leverage. He picked up speed, letting so much restraint down.

"Ah- fuck, fuck. It's so-" Mike huffed, straining closer. 

Will slowed, hesitating. "Mike…?"

"Nnh- no, please keep doing whatever you were doing. Faster, please." Mike groaned, squirming in the other's hands. 

Will immediately returned to his prior pace, kissing wherever he could reach as he let himself go with the assurance that he really could.

He still withheld just enough to know he was being safe , but he let the sensations take the wheel as he rocked forward with near abandon, leaning to adjust his angle. Mike clung to him tightly, fingers digging lightly into the other's skin as he was jostled in the throes. 

"Can I come inside?" Will whispered hesitantly, that flare of embarrassment returning only to make it all feel more exciting.

Mike let out a very pleased sound, rocking eagerly in reply. "Oh–...m-mhm."

Will watched in focused awe, single mindedly chasing the mutual high. He felt that pressure rising fast, then all at once it snapped. He folded, pressing his face to Mike's neck and heaving into a series of sporadic thrusts as he tipped over the edge in waves. 

"Ah-... fuck ." He hissed pleasantly, chasing just a bit more as he pushed past the sensitivity for as long as he could stand it. He buried himself into kissing Mike's neck, leaving a few firm bites in his stupor.

Mike let out a low groan followed by a sigh, sucking in heavy breaths with each move. "Ah, Will–"

Will slowed finally, panting as the effort caught up to him. Mike made a weak sound as Will drew out of him, his eyes fluttering at the leftover feeling. "Will…?"

"M-mhm?" Will replied, licking his lips.

"I… would really like to do the same to you now, if that would be okay." Mike murmured, looking him up and down. 

Will groaned, then laughed softly in exasperation and amusement. He was short of breath, taken aback, but seemed all too interested nonetheless. "So that's why you were trying to save it." 

Mike bit back a smirk. "Guilty."

Will shuffled, facing downward with an intense gaze in Mike's direction. "I want it too, you menace– C'mere." 

Mike eagerly moved in, leaning over Will's back while kissing his spine and shoulders, much as the other had to him. 

"Relax. I've got you." Mike reminded him, nudging Will's thighs apart. Will took a slow breath through his nose, letting tension out as he focused on how good it all was, the heat under his skin seemed to receive a second wind, simmering pleasantly under the surface. 

Relaxing noticeably, Will settled in. With that cue Mike opened the bottle and set to task with everything Will had just done for him as a guide. He took his time, eyes drifting and lingering on every curve and mark on his skin all the while.

Will let out a soft sound of approval almost immediately, making Mike laugh fondly and chase for more of this. Carefully, but intently.

He rocked his hand purposefully, earning a surprising amount of reaction from the other with even as little as one digit. Will caved to it, falling into a pleasantly empty-headed state. 

"All good?" Mike muttered, massaging firmly.

"M-mhm. Definitely-" Will replied, choking back a whimper. Mike's hands were thinner, but longer . The difference was tangible. The rumors about a guitarist's dexterity didn't lie, either.

After a short time, Mike added another digit, angling pointedly in a way that made the other arch and gasp into the pressure. 

"It's-...much better when it's not just me." Will confessed suddenly, his honesty knocking the wind out of Mike. Mike couldn't help but to groan in reply, rewarding this with a kiss to the other's skin.

"I love you so much, Will. Y'know? You're doing great." 

Will made a weak but pleased sound, pressing closer.

Cautiously working him up for the next part, Mike held patient just as the other had for him, not wanting to risk any harm. 

"How many have you had?" He muttered, estimating in his head how receptive Will may already be physically. 

"Two– wasn't nearly as good, so I didn't go as far." Will replied, short of breath.

"M'kay, I'll be careful." Mike murmured, hooking his fingers slightly to earn a low moan.

He was gentle but aimed for reactivity nonetheless, coaxing a stream of barely restrained sound from the other in his single minded focus. Will only relaxed more deeply with this, subconsciously pleading softly under his breath. 

"Ah-... yes, yes– please…"

Mike groaned, nuzzling his face adoringly against the other's back. He once again held a steady, creeping pace for a time, remaining measured and gentle even in his enthusiasm to rend the other down to a mess.

"More?" Mike asked, in awe.

"Mmh- yes, more."

Finally, he added a third, earning a pleased and heavy winded sound from Will as he slowly hilted to the knuckle and massaged intently. Will rocked back, accepting the progression readily as he proceeded to all but melt in the other's hand.

Mike once again took his time, carefully working out any tension with an attentive vigilance.

"God-...yes." Will gasped breathlessly, making his enthusiasm known. " Yes -" 

Mike let out a throaty, closed mouth moan, soaking in every moment. "Almost ready?" 

"Almost. Almost– fuck , I want it."

"Soon…just a minute longer. You're doing so good." Mike assured, taking just a bit more time to completely ensure that Will wasn't overestimating his own preparedness in his enthusiasm. After a few long moments of this, Will cracked.

"I'm ready, promise–" He gasped, a shiver running through him. " Please ."

Mike groaned weakly, caving. "You're totally sure?"

"Mhm, y-yes. Really sure. It's not like I haven't done anything ." He pressed back, arching.

Mike removed his hand cautiously, then shuffled into position, preparing himself quickly before holding there a moment, pressed almost there. Will made a sound, clutching at the bedding. 

"You're seriously sure?"

"I swear I'm going to burst into flames or something, please ." Will was honestly surprised at himself from an outsider perspective, but he couldn't be bothered to care right now. The want was too strong.

Mike pressed forward slowly, cautiously. He let out a low groan at the mild squeeze, waiting for adjustment. Will gasped, followed by a low stilted sound in his chest. 

"Mmh. What'd I tell you? Just a little too early. Now we have to wait like this." Mike half-teased, holding still. 

Will made a choked, wanton sound. "Fuck- even that feels stupid good."

Mike shuddered, feeling a twitch. "Oh really?" 

"Unh-... yes ." 

Mike made a strained sound as the other lightly fluttered around him, the squeeze growing ever so slightly less tense. 

"Ah, shit– you're so good." Mike uttered thoughtlessly with his face pressed to the other's back, earning a mildly stunned and starstruck sound in reply.

"You like that too, huh? Being told how good you are?" 

"M-mhmm…"

Mike waited, eyes falling closed at the feeling as Will slowly worked open around him. He could feel every heartbeat and it was driving him insane. Yet, he waited patiently. 

"P-please…you can move– slow." Will pleaded quietly, slowly rocking back to encourage him.

Mike groaned at the feeling, caving once more just enough to grind tenderly forward. So slowly. He withdrew a bit, added more fluid to assist and reduce tension, then returned to his cautious motions as Will let out a stream of gasps and sighs all the while.

"I love these sounds– so pretty." Mike praised, shakily groaning despite himself.

"Nnh- Mike." Will uttered, arching intensely to meet him.

"Easy, don't strain–" Mike soothed, pausing to kiss the other's back comfortingly while guiding him into a less harsh position. 

"Mm…Mike?"

"Yeah?" He replied softly.

" More . Please–" Will managed, seeming desperate.

Mike moaned quietly, unable to refuse him with that sort of persuasion. He moved faster, still cautious- but more urgent and firm. Will laughed breathily, followed by a groan of approval. 

"You're incredible ." Mike praised in a quivering voice, losing himself in the motions as he grew increasingly swept up in it. Will threw himself gently into meeting the rhythmic movements, his breaths shallow and airy between pleased gasps. 

"Mike, I–…" Will made a choked sound, squirming ever so slightly in anticipation of something building.

"It's okay, I've got you. Just feel it. Feel it–" Mike rocked, angling deeply as he kissed bruises and soft welts into every other inch of skin he could reach. He reached an arm around to Will's front, gently encouraging a second build up of pressure in his every nerve.

Will let go, feeling almost like he'd shake to pieces any second– yet he felt so good, so secure. Mike felt a tension pulling tight in his abdomen as he kept on, his breath catching as he realized. 

"Will, I'm getting close."

A whimper. "Ah, give-…" 

Mike leaned in. "Huh? What's that?"

"Give me…more. Don't hold back, please ." Will completed, his breath falling heavy between words. It was then Mike realized that he had sprung to tears in a peak of emotion. 

"...Will." He murmured, his tone offering comfort, understanding. "I've got you. Promise."

Mike sighed shakily, caving into the rush with abandon as he chased it. Will grew increasingly intense as this went on, restless and charged as sharp, pleased breaths tore from him.

"You're so good. So good-... Thank you for trusting me." Mike murmured, half-chanting praise as he let himself go. "Mmh- I love you, Will. So much."

Will couldn't muster words, lost in the feelings. The sensations, the acceptance, the safety. In a few snaps of the hips, Mike then went reeling over as he fell past the threshold. 

"Will-…" He groaned, holding fast and burying his lips against the other's skin while riding it out with steady motion.

Will let out a soft sound at the feeling of warmth pooling inside while Mike continued to touch him enthusiastically. Will then let out a deep, shaky sigh, moving in sync as he quickly found himself tumbling into an entirely unexpected secondary climax. "Nnh-... I'm-? Oh ." 

They both chased for a minute, all frantic motions and desperate sounds as they pushed ever further– until they quite literally could not anymore.

They fell panting into the aftermath, then Mike withdrew carefully while showering the other with kisses of gratitude and adoration. Will rolled, making a weak but satisfied sound.

"Not bad for a couple of total amateurs." Mike teased through his strained voice, leaning in to meet Will for a long winded and intense kiss. Will seemed blown away, reeling and breathing hard with a look of vague astonishment as it caught up to him. 

Soon enough they rose to clean up (the room, themselves–) and hydrate, before crawling into pajamas to call it a night. As they made it back into the fresh bedding, Mike sighed deeply, moving in close to wrap himself around Will.

Will leaned into this, rolling in his arms to face him. "Not sore or anything, right?" 

"No. You did good, promise." Mike kissed his nose. 

Will chuckled tiredly. "Good." 

"...Better than I even expected, I mean– realistically." Mike continued with a chuckle.

Will laughed, breathless and so freakishly happy. "I concur. Jesus Christ , that was intense." 

"You're amazing." Mike muttered matter-of-factly, trailing kisses up Will's neck idly as they cooled down from the excitement.

"Mm…No, you." Will teased, kissing the crown of his head. 

Mike giggled quietly. " We're pretty amazing."

"And you're not sore or anything either, right?" Mike continued, turning his eyes up to Will with an enamored gaze.

"No, nothing bad. You did great too. So good...I felt-? Safe." Will assured, snaking his arms around Mike reciprocally as they melted into their mutually blissful exhaustion.

"Can't believe I was so scared of it now, actually." Mike commented, laughing at his past self in immediate retrospect. 

Will snickered. "So I can expect you to be insufferably horny now, right?" He joked, nudging Mike's side and making him laugh.

"Not insufferable , but horny? Yeah probably a bit. I didn't need more reasons to be obnoxiously gay about you all the time but I guess I have a few more reasons now anyway." Mike replied with a smug brow lift and playful demeanor, poking Will on the cheek.

"Mm. I won't complain." Will rolled, moving in to press close while hovering just over the other. Mike eagerly met this with a roll onto his back below Will, pulling him gently closer with a hand on the back of his neck. They parted for a breath, and Mike filled the silence, looking up at him with a soft smile.

"Hey, Will?"

"Hm?"

"I meant it, by the way. About trusting me. Thank you…" Mike cupped his cheek, leaning their foreheads together.

Will returned the smile, leaning in kind. "You earn it. Every day. I don't just give trust away. So thank you …for cherishing me like you do. It's because you make me feel– so safe. You always have."

"That's just what you deserve." Mike kissed his nose, and Will chuckled fondly at the gesture. 

"You're still my best friend in the world, by the way." Will murmured, seeming content.

"And you're mine. Always." Mike replied certainly, beaming with a warm, dimpled grin.

They again met halfway for a series of long kisses, and their night ended as it had begun. Tangled in sheets, lips hovering in a magnetic cycle of motion as they relaxed together. Eventually, they dozed in and out, teetering into the gentle embrace of sleep with a renewed feeling of hope and security.