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We'll restart and fall apart together

Summary:

Kaeya's relationship with the divine is... complicated. He realises his isn't the only one.

Notes:

Hello! Welcome to the third story in my PMMM AU. I will recommend at least reading “Dawn can’t break if the sun is burnt to a crisp” before this one.

Thanks for Ninthfeather for betaing this fic :D

Story title is from Rachie's cover of Android girl by Deco*27.
The chapter title is from Message Lost by Ferry.

Chapter 1: Lay all your holy vows and unholy charms - all of you before me

Notes:

warnings at the end of the chapter :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The slight breeze rustled the canopy of the tree at Windrise.There was rarely any wind at all here, as the name might suggest. That was hardly a surprise for a Mondstadter, after all this was the nation of the wind, and the tree was the symbol of the hero of Mondstadt. The symbol of Venessa. 

Kaeya didn’t care much for it, beyond the shade the tree gave in the summer heat. He rested by one of the Statues of the Seven. He had noticed long ago that resting near them for a time helped his healing.

Kaeya was not a good healer; he couldn't heal others but he could at least take care of himself in a pinch. The statues let him save some of the magic of his Vision, so despite what he thought of the Archons, he’d appreciate that at least.

He could see the entire valley from the tree, from Falcon Coast in the south-east to Mondstadt City in the north-west. For some reason, there were rarely any Witches in this area, mostly elemental creatures or, rarely, a stray Familiar that had broken off from a Witch in Dragonspine and wandered down to the Valley. Kaeya had honestly not expected the group of pyro whopperflowers to ambush him. He dispatched of them easily enough, but not before getting off several fireballs in the grass around him.

Why did grass burn so well? Especially in the dry summer?

A string of notes from behind him took Kaeya out of his pondering. It sounded like some kind of lyre.

It took a moment for Kaeya to identify where the music was coming from.

Sitting on one of the lower branches, clad in white and green, was Venti the bard. He didn’t seem to have noticed Kaeya, having his eyes closed as he was strumming some kind of melody on his instrument. 

Kaeya only really knew the bard from the evenings at Angel’s Share when he was behind the counter. Venti had started showing up one day a few months back, claiming to be the best bard in the city to the anger of many of his co-workers. Yet, he time and time again had proven himself to be an excellent bard and storyteller.

If only he could stop trying to get the other guests to pay for his alcohol.

“Ohh?~~” Venti said, as he opened one eye, and looked at the knight. “I have an audience?” 

“Hey, I was here first,” Kaeya said, giving the bard a smirk.

“Are you sure about that?” Venti retorted with a smile, not missing a note on his lyre.

Kaeya sighed before standing up. He stretched a bit, feeling how his wounds had healed. It seemed like they were all gone. 

“Are you leaving already?” Venti asked. 

“I am still on the clock,” Kaeya answered the bard. 

“Come onnn…” Venti whined, dragging out the last word.  “At least let me finish my song,”

Kaeya put his hands on his hips, making an exaggerated sigh, “How can I reject the best bard in Mondstadt?”

“Hah! So you admit it!” Venti said, grinning before continuing his melody.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kaeya said but he walked closed and sat down by the trunk, closing his eyes.  

The melody was not like any of the ballads or shanties Venti normally played at Angel’s Share. Nor was it like any of the church hymns he had heard before. But it was still unmistakable Mondstadtian. 

“Oh fine breeze, in the valley low, on the mountain high~”   Venti began,

“North wind that bites, South wind that fights, East wind that roars, West wind that soars~”

“Tell the tales of old, and the stories not yet told~”

A tale of the wind. How fitting. After all, Barbatos, while the god of wind, was also considered by many as the god of stories and bards. 

“Truth hides in every seed and every story,

So it will one day sprout,

Blossom with every breath”

The bard and the knight sat in silence after Venti finished.

The wind rustling the branches of the tree seemed almost deliberate. 

 


 

Kaeya was not a religious type. 

To be fair, no one from Kahnrei’ah had been. They had been a nation without an Archon or a God. Sure, they had had Visions from Celestia, but by the time his former home fell, most had known the danger Celestia posed. Kaeya had been too young to know much, but it was pretty clear, looking back on it as an adult, that some people in Kahnrei’ah had been aware of the Heavenly Messenger’s deception and taken steps to oppose it. After all, why else would a war between Kahnrei’ah and Teyvat have broken out?

Still, he found himself inside the Church of Barbatos at one of Barbara’s services. Kaeya and Diluc had spent much time with Jean and Barbara when they grew up. Especially around the different holidays like sowing and harvest seasons. 

It became less frequent after Jean and Barbara's parents split; with Jean training more to become a knight and Barbara’s duties at the church. After Diluc dis- left (lays lifeless as a  gem in his office) they barely saw each other at all unless Kaeya needed any healing or at the occasional festival he couldn’t ignore.

Kaeya’s attention drifted as Barbara spoke to the assembly. 

“We give thanks to Lord Barbatos for their gift of freedom, and to the Heavenly Messengers for their gifts…”

Kaeya held back a snort, he knew it wouldn’t be appreciated. While Barbatos might have freed Mondstadt from Decarabian, They sure didn’t stick around. People argued it was to preserve the hard earned freedom, but could it really be freedom they didn’t know they were in a cage? 

Barbatos provided festivals and joy in ignorance. Maybe that wasn’t the worst, Kaeya mused. If they didn’t know, then it was less likely they would fall into despair and turn into a Witch.

Right?

“We acknowledge the blessing of Visions, which provide us with a defense against the evils of this world. We remember the Vision Holders who have perished in this endeavor and honor their sacrifices …” 

Not all creatures the Knights and Vision holders fought were Witches and Familiars. Elemental creatures like whooperflowers and slimes had always existed as far as Kaeya knew. Then again, he was no scholar. He dismissed the idea of asking Lisa about it as soon as he thought of it.  

“We pray for the souls of those lost to Witches and those who have died in places without wind. May Barbatos gather them into Their arms and conduct them unto the afterlife ....”

Kaeya fully tuned out Barbara’s speech. He had heard enough. 

Followers of Mondstadt believed Barbatos ferried the souls of the deceased to the afterlife and that they could not ferry souls that died in a windless place. Did a Labyrinth count as a space with no wind?  Would that mean that not even an Archon could access the subspace of a Labyrinth after the Witch died?

Kaeya didn’t know the Archon's role in the Heavenly Messengers’s plot; but he wouldn’t forgive anyone who let their people fall to the traps of whatever plan the Messenger had. 

Heck, they might be in on it too. After all, they were there 500 years ago…

"Kaeya?"

Kaeya looked up and into the concerned face of Barbara.

Oh. It seemed like the sermon was over.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

"I am just fine,” Kaeya said with a smile. 

Barbara pouted and put her hands on her hips.

"Haha," Kaeya laughed. "I see nothing gets past you, eh? It's fine, we've just had a lot to deal with lately."

Barbara sighed. "You guys need to not overwork yourselves. It is going to help no one in the end."

"Tell that to your sister," Kaeya said.

Barbara’s face scrunched up a bit. “You see her more than me.”

Oops. 

“Well… she won’t listen to me,” Kaeya retorted with a dramatic sigh. 

Barbara just shook her head, helplessly. 

“Anyway, what are you doing here?” She asked after a moment.

“What? Can’t I be a good and law-abiding citizen?”

“You aren’t exactly known for showing up for church unless there’s alcohol offered or someone is dragging you by the arm,”

“Hey, what can I say? I am a free bird!”

“Kaeya…”

“I just wanted a change of scenery,” Kaeya said. “Things have been a lot lately…”

If there was one person Kaeya would never tell the details of the deal with the Visions and the Heavenly Messenger, it was Barbara. Bless her soul, but Barbara was probably the most devout follower of Barbatos and Celestia in all of Mondstadt. He did not know how she would react, and he did not want to find out. 

Barbara nodded along, not privy to Kaeya’s inner thoughts. 

“Oh yeah, I heard Klee was knighted after she gained a Vision!” Barbara said. “I haven’t heard anything about her coming to the church for a blessing, do you know anything about that?”

“Ah… No, I don't think she and Albedo have any plans...” Kaeya started.

“Why not?! It is such a big occasion!” Barbara exclaimed before putting her hands in front of her mouth, realizing she raised her voice in the church. She looked around and gave an awkward wave to one of the other nuns before turning back to Kaeya, continuing in a lower voice. “It’s important to come for a blessing, you know this!”

“Is it strictly necessary?” Kaeya asked.

“Well… no, but it’s tradition! We should always celebrate when a new Vision holder is chosen!”

“Maybe they want to wait for Alice to return for it?” Kaeya asked. He knew that wasn’t the answer. Albedo didn’t want anything to do with the system or the culture that had grown out of the Vision system, let alone involve Klee in it.

“But we don’t know when Alice will return,” Barbara said sullenly. “The day that someone is getting their Vision is supposed to be a celebration! One of the best days of their life!”

Kaeya stiffened. 

Best day?

How had Barbara even got hers?

Diluc had smiled and held up his Vision in joy while Kaeya was barely able to hold back tears long enough to hide away somewhere.

And when Kaeya had gotten his…

 


 

The road was soaked with mud. The rain poured down, mixing red with the water.

The only sound was the pouring rainfall and soul wrenching screaming of his brother. 

Something-- no… some one   laid dead in Diluc's arms.

The body was all wrong, contorted as if it had changed shape. Legs not quite legs anymore, one arm halfway transformed into chains, clothes melded into the body. What counted as a head was clutched between Diluc’s arms as he wept over it.

The only recognizable feature, the red hair, unmistakably belonged to Crepus Ragnvindr. 

His father was dead in the arms of his brother, body barely recognizable.

His father was dead. 

Dead and gone and gone and not human anymore.

He had seen that before. 

He had seen that before

The mess of half-broken bodies in weird shapes and sizes.

Moving, sprinting, crawling messes of beings killing indiscriminately people in the streets as he tried to escape the streets of Kahnrei’ah. 

Why had his father started transforming into such a monster?

Kaeya's mouth felt dry. He couldn’t think at all. It was as if his mind grinded to a halt.

Then Diluc looked at him.

Kaeya sprinted.

His arms locked around his brother’s form.

A moment later he felt a pair of arms wrap around his back, shaking.

Kaeya missed the darkness swirling in the Pyro Vision.

 


 

“You knew?!” Diluc screamed at him. 

“No of course not,” Kaeya tried to explain. 

“You said you’d seen it before!”

Kaeya swallowed. He regretted starting to tell Diluc the truth of his origin the moment he opened his mouth. 

“Those creatures attacked Kahnrei’ah as well,” he tried to explain to Diluc as his brother paced back and forth outside of the WInery. 

It was still raining. Of course it was.

“Th-the monsters from the Abyss? Why would father turn into.. No no… that makes no sense…” Diluc muttered, more frantic with each passing moment.

“I don’t know,” Kaeya said and it was the truth. People had started turning into monsters, no… into Familiars, in Kahnrei’ah. Something he didn’t understand. Familiars were meant to be born from a Witch’s labyrinth, not from normal humans, even Vision holders. But somehow it had happened back then, and somehow it had happened to their father too.

Kaeya’s eyes drifted to Diluc’s vision on his hip. It was far darker than he had ever seen it.

“When did you use a Grief Seed last?” Kaeya said, trying to keep his voice even.  Making Diluc panic would just make everything worse.

“Wh-what does that matter??” Diluc snapped, hand grabbing his Vision, covering it from his view.

“You need to keep it clean,” Kaeya said. 

“I’m not using any magic right now, so what does it matter? Or is that something else you know something about and haven’t told me about?”

Kaeya tried to remind himself it was the corruption of the Vision talking, not his brother. 

“For me?” Kaeya tried. 

Diluc shook his head. “Ran out.” He admitted after a moment. 

“You…what?”

A white tail swished back and forth from the corner of his eye.

“I don’t have one, okay?!” Diluc snapped. 

Kaeya’s breath hitched.

Oh No. Noonono…

This couldn’t be happening. Not to DIluc. 

“We-we need to go to the headquarters now,” Kaeya said, going to grab Diluc’s hand.

Diluc tore himself away, backing off a few steps, mud splattering everywhere. “What’s your problem?”

“You need to get it cleaned okay?!” Kaeya yelled.

“Our father died and you’re complaining about my magic being low?!”

“You’ll turn into a Witch!” Kaeya yelled back before trying to grab Diluc’s hand again.

Diluc didn’t resist.

Diluc didn’t move at all, his hand covering his Vision went slack. His expression slowly morphed into that of shock and horror.

“I… what?” He said in a confused tone.

They didn’t have time, Kaeya started leading Diluc down the road, through the winyard. The rain made the road slippery, with puddles big enough that even carts might have trouble going through them. Diluc only really followed haltingly as if in a daze.

“What do you mean I’ll… turn into a Witch?”

“I’ve seen it happen,” Kaeya said. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Before?” Kaeya felt Diluc’s hand gripping tighter.

“...” 

“Why?!”

“Would you have believed me?” Kaeya asked back, not looking at Diluc.

You won’t make it in time.

The brothers stopped. They had both heard it, the voice in their head.

Kaeya had only heard the voice of the Messenger a few times in the past, once when his mother made a wish to get him to safety, and a few times when it tried to make him make a wish. 

Sure enough. Kaeya looked to his right. The small, cat-like creature that he hated with every fiber of his being  sat atop the fence leading out of the winery. 

“W-what do you mean?” Diluc asked.

You used up too much magic in your last fight.

Kaeya looked behind him at Diluc’s Vision. The darkness swirling in the otherwise red gem almost completely covered it now

You must feel it, correct? 

Diluc made a pained expression. Grabbing the Vision from his hip to hold it in his hands. It transformed into its egg-like shape. The Messenger was right. Diluc probably only had a few minutes at most. The city was at least an hour away.

They wouldn’t make it.

Diluc locked eyes with Kaeya. His brother’s normally fierce eyes betrayed the fear he knew his brother currently felt, fueled a hundred times by the despair from the VIsion.

“Run,” he said.

“I am not leaving you!”

“You don’t have a Vision! If.. if I really--” Diluc stopped and swallowed. “If I am going to turn, then you can’t be swallowed by the Labyrinth. You need to find Grand Master Varka. Or someone else with a Vision.” 

Kaeya shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. He couldn’t see another person he cared about be ruined by the Messenger's plans. 

There is a way.

Kaeya snapped his head towards the Messenger. “Fuck if I listen to you!”

You won’t need to. You already know of a way to save him.  

“Wh--” Kaeya cut himself off as he realized what the creature said.

“Shit.”

There really was no other choice.

Not if he wanted to save Diluc.

“Kaeya?” Diluc said. “You need to leave. Please.”

“No, I know what I need to do,”

“If what you said is true, then why would you listen to the being that tricked me into wishing?”

“Because it’s the only way.” Kaeya answered. 

He placed both his hands around Diluc’s shaking ones. Cracks started appearing on the Vision. He felt red eyes bore into his back. The being known as the Heavenly Messenger awaited his next words.

“I wish--”

A white light shone from Dawn Winery and the rain froze even in the late spring.

Notes:

warnings for body horror and unintentional triggering of a flashback

Thanks for reading. Barbara is a bit intense in this AU. She might have been inspired by (Holy) Mami to some degree.