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Red. It was so very stark pooling on the ground.
White. A streak across the blackened clouds.
Black. The color of his eyes as he tore into it with renewed vigor he had never felt before.
Blue. The sky.
They wanted to see it so badly, why did they want to see it?
It was also the color of his emotion. So sad, so stale, so dark-
"Levi?"
His head turned, the sound of the familiar baritone pulling him out of looking through the glass without being able to cope with the reality of the precipitation outside. He was seated at the edge of the carriage, having been traveling for some time now towards Mitras it was a dreary day and a cold one, at that. "What is it blondie?" He mumbled, trying to salvage his dignity and lack of expressiveness in front of others. But Erwin's steel-like gaze pierced that pretense and saw through to the pained child underneath. One that had lost his best friends and had the best things often taken from him.
"You seem rather lost in thought."
Translation: I am worried about you.
He kissed his teeth; "You're one to fucking talk about that shit, Mr. Broody Blondie."
Translation: I don't really want to talk about it.
A smile, ever patient from the blonde with hardened blue eyes that contrasted it so starkly; "If you have something to elucidate, speak your mind."
Translation: Please tell me, Levi. I want to know why you are pained.
"Just that my ass hurts. How fucking long is this damn ride going to last?"
Translation: Please...don't keep pressing, I beg you-
Erwin's blue gaze lingered for a long moment before finally looking out the window again, opposite of where Levi's gaze was directed, and a frown appeared; "Not long. The trees are growing far more sparse and I saw the mountains a fair long time ago." After a long few more moments, Erwin milled over the statement enough he had come to the conclusion he wanted to press, and so his attention directed back towards the brooding male across from him. Those eyebrows were pulled in tight again, thin, mean, and pressing into the nose to create a minor snarl. Yet in juxtaposition his eyes were sad and distant. Some may see his gaze as angry and far away, but Erwin knew his Captain far too well to believe the guise of 'leave me alone' that was perpetuated in his gaze.
"Is there nothing I can offer to distract you?"
Translation: I wish to help. Please...please don't shut me out.
That was the way it went. They spoke in two different languages, but both with their own meanings because both men had been through far to much. Erwin had learned from a young age not to speak freely lest he lose the things he loved and Levi had been punished and abused by his uncle into silence. Then, as age swept them up in it's arms Erwin was taken into the arms of the corps; life was breathed into his theories despite everyone around rejecting and shunning him. In the end, he recognized that it was best to reserve one's truest intentions to when one was isolated entirely, keeping abreast the realities against the government and your own goals. Levi, on the other hand, had simply had to survive. And this level of survival involved abandonment and discourse - being unable to confide in any individual after all the abuse he had received. Even when Farlan and Isabel came into his life, he was still unable to communicate his background to them simply due to his psychological trauma. And they were patient, not asking, knowing full well what the underground did to people and so they simply helped him continue to move rather than dwelling on the past and ruminating. And while Levi was blunt and ferocious, he held tightly to his past because he believed, as Kenny had taught him, that it was not okay to feel. Thankfully, they had learned each other's cues, phrases, and ambiguities. And now, they sat very close for it - the only ones able to discern the truth behind falsehoods when in front of others.
Of course, when they were safely alone, the way they spoke was on an entirely different level, as one could see in a few moments.
Levi took a long time to respond, the silence like a ten ton weight crushing their shoulders and suffocating them unto an emotional verge of death. Then, finally, the boney hand of Thanos pulled away, allowing oxygen and life spread forth like the wings on their back; "...Fine." A cursory check told him nobody was outside the carriage, but Levi was still paranoid and so he brought to a close the shutters on either side of them. Erwin, for his part, was patient once more. He waited until Levi had glanced around, poked his head outside, pulled the curtains shut, checked under the seats (although he knew well that anybody hiding would have been long since detected, Levi was a man who prided himself on being alert at all times to detect any source of danger, so letting his guard down like this was bound to bring out his paranoia), and finally settled across with his hands on his lap and shoulders hunched forward. "...rain."
There wasn't a long pause after this, this time. Erwin was intelligent, his mind constantly racing through every little piece of evidence. The presentation of the single word, especially under the circumstances and with what the blonde knew about his Captain was enough to let him in on the reality of the situation. "...it reminds you of..."
"Yes."
Erwin's eyes softened, his voice following suit; "Levi..." And with that he came forward, sitting down next to what he often called 'the moon to his sun', strong arm wrapping around Levi's shoulders and bringing him in close. "You need not think of their deaths, on this day." He pulled Levi's head into his chest, pressing it softly against the right edge until the man was able to bury himself within it - one arm reaching up to squeeze his bicep carefully. "Do you hear my heart?"
"Yes."
"If it helps..."
"If you make a shitty pun-"
"...that...was not intentionally within it, no."
"...continue your shit, then."
"...I am afraid to."
Levi huffed; "Whatever you were gonna say get it out of your system before I have to take my next shit-"
"...I was going to say dedicate yourself to listening to it...."
"I hate you."
"You adore me."
Levi huffed, unable to quite express the three letter phrase in that moment from how clouded his mind was; "Yeah, yeah..." He said in leu there in, fingers squeezing softly on the supportive bicep that wasn't holding him before dropping into Erwin's lap.
"None-the-less, I think it would help...for when I find myself overwhelmed...listening to yours often helps-" As sappy as the statement was, Levi felt overwhelmed in a good way by it. While his trauma told him not to express what he felt, it didn't mean that he didn't very much feel it, anyways. And often, he felt it very deeply with a sensitive heart.
"Bastard, you can't just do that-"
"What?" Erwin idly mentioned, sounding falsely innocent.
"Say something so...so- you know. Just leave that in the air!"
"I can."
"Well...you did, that doesn't mean you can-" He was interrupted at the tail end of that "n" by Erwin's kiss, overtaking his senses and leaving his own heart to burst forth into his ears. It was all he could hear, and for a moment he swore that it was in rhythm, entirely synchronized with one another. Perhaps they really did have hearts that were dedicated to each other-
"My love." Erwin mentioned as he broke apart. "Look outside-"
Levi blinked, realizing that time had passed while they were kissing sensuously. And when he did, he saw a crack of light peaking through the curtains. With a jolt, he came forward, disentangling from Erwin so as to open the red sheets blocking their conversation from the world.
A rainbow, beautiful in it's nature and overpowering the horizon, stood strong - and Levi could see why so many legends and myths surrounded them; so much so that children often believed there was a pot of gold at the end of one (that had been a story told to him by Erwin, one he had scoffed at the first time until actually laying eyes upon one himself). It stretched over the wall surrounding the capital, which now was coming into view. Almost like it was shining some glorious path into the walls where gold was exchanged, children ran, and society edged on needing more space.
"Do you see, Captain? It cannot rain all the time. And when it ends...something beautiful begins."
He shot up in bed, a cold sweat as lightning lit up the room he once shared with Erwin, now devoid of life. The table sat across the room, stacked with a box that held items all packed up ready to be put into storage. Specifically things that belonged to the man plaguing Levi's dreams. As if on instinct, he jolted forward - the sound of pattering ran smashing against the window haunting him as he glided across the room. It was the first night since Erwin left that it was raining outside. Of course, to call it simply rain was an understatement. It was more like a cascade, smacking and pouring down harshly against all that dared to place itself in it's path. Be that building, children, horse, house, or simple structure - there was no doubt it would have been soaked within a few minutes at the rate it came down.
His arms shook; whenever these moments came about Levi always had Erwin to comfort him. He would take him into his arms, hush him, and allow him to listen to his heartbeat. It was always so soothing - so easing to just listen in and allow the fear associated with the storm be cured by such a strong heart beating in steady rhythmic fashion; however, he didn't have that. And so, he had to make due. Walking towards the window, he glanced out through the pane (and pain) into the blue, white, and vaguely green shapes smeared by liquid outside. While he couldn't make out what was going on outside, he knew for certain there was movement below. It distracted him slightly, but not enough not to jump the next time another strike of lightning lit up the sky across the trees and blared against his pale skin - no doubt making him look whiter than a ghost.
"You just had to go to Shinganshina, didn't you?" He sighed, placing his hand over his own heart. It beat steadily, but loudly within his ears. And as he closed his eyes while the deep thunder rolled something within him stirred.
His heart was always dedicated to Erwin's, wasn't it? And that hadn't changed.
And undoubtedly, there was reciprocity there.
So that meant, while his heart still held firm in it's rhythm - it would forever be synchronized with Erwin's. He need only listen to his own heart to hear it, again. To guide him through this stormy night to the other side where the rainbow held open arms, standing firm, tall, and strong across the horizon-
Oh, it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever...
and though the night seems long...
Your tears won't fall forever.
Something caught his attention. And no, it wasn't the lightning cracking across the sky again - once more making stark shadows across the room.
No...rather-
It was the fact that he heard strange words, in such a rhythmic, soft fashion from Erwin's voice-
I'm here. Always.
Almost like he was speaking into his mind. Or perhaps speaking across memory to let him know it would be alright...
"Erwin." He closed his eyes. And that's when he could see them; all of them. And he knew it wasn't memory nor made up within his mind-
Furlan.
Isabel.
Miche.
Erwin.
Nanaba.
Gelgar.
Petra.
Eld.
Gunther.
Orou.
And so many more that he'd seen pass through the corps over the years-
He didn't dare open his eyes, for he knew if he did the vision would vanish. Levi also didn't dare move, as if doing so would perhaps disturb the strange spirits standing all around him - holding their baited breath for him to do something. Yet, they didn't move. They didn't even bother opening their lips to speak. However, Levi didn't need them to - somehow he knew what they were saying without their having to even open their lips. And somehow, he also knew what they knew what his words were, as well.
Oh, when I'm lonely
I lie awake at night
And I wish you were here
I miss you
Can you tell me
Is there something more to believe in?
Or is this all there is?
Fingers, feelingless, brushed the area of his face, now, Erwin stepping close to him and nodding understandingly, knowing the burden he left him with all-too-well. Tears flooded his closed eyes, perfectly able to see around him as if he wasn't, in any way, blind. Warmth was on his cheeks, and if he tried his best he could almost swear that warm liquid was actually the large palm trying to breach the divide between the living and the dead. But he could only pretend for so long, and Erwin could only stay for so long. This thought process seemed so realistic to Levi. He knew these facts, the fact that Erwin couldn't linger in his closed gaze indefinitely, even if he didn't know how-
And so he placed his hand near the wrist that settled nearby, making all the motions despite the lack of tactile feeling to it, and clasped close - leaning slightly in that direction-
"I miss you. I wish you were here." He spoke.
A sad smile across that hansom face.
"I wish you all were here. It would make it easier."
A sad smile across many faces.
And before he knew it, he felt something surrounding his body - not physical, but something on a spiritual sense. And when he metaphorically blinked through the shock of it, he realized that all his friends he'd lost, all the people he'd bonded with - from Erwin to Miche to Isabel, Furlan, and everyone in between - were surrounding him in a hug. More tears ran down his face, streaking and undoubtedly making his cheeks look soaked as the window truthfully in front of him. He wanted to hug them all back, but he knew he couldn't. So he stayed with his arms stock still. Words seeped into his subconscious as he stood there too, aiding and abetting the sensation of being surrounded and safe-
Our hearts are dedicated to yours. That is our cause. Eachother.
His eyes were suddenly affronted. Light streaked through the window and lashes, causing him to blink into the sun that broke the darkened sky and slowly spread across the green grass. It traversed itself up towards the side of the building, finally breaking into the window like soft hands.
Like his hands.
And a smile...
"You're right, Ervy. It won't rain all the time."
Last night I had a dream
You came into my room
You took me into your arms
Whispering and kissing me
And telling me to still believe
But then the emptiness of a burning sea
Against which we see our darkest of sadness
Until I felt safe and warm
I fell asleep in your arms
When I awoke I cried again
For you were gone
Oh, can you hear me?