Chapter Text
The group of males wearily entered into the hotel room as Ignis Scientia pushed open the door.
It was very late in the evening, the moon was shining brightly and after a massive day of errand running and hunts, they all were exhausted.
“I’m beat,” Prompto whined as he stretched and flopped across the nearest bed.
“I could sleep for days…” Noctis slurred as he face planted onto the bed beside Prompto.
“I, for one, need a shower.” Ignis announced as he wiped down his glasses.
“I’m ready to keel over too.” Gladiolus yawned as he sat down in the chair.
“I guess nobody’s hungry then?” The advisor asked with a hint of relief.
His answer was two “no’s” and a snore from the crown prince.
“Well that settles it. It is quite late after all.”
If only they had known what unfortunate events were coming the next morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prompto Argentum, twenty years old, was an emetophobe, or a victim of emetophobia.
All his friends knew it too; how could they not after seeing his lifestyle?
Prompto had lived with this phobia almost his whole life, despite living alone for the most part. It was generally the worst during his educational years, being around so many other children and being so young, not having a proper way to express himself.
The emetophobia had greatly improved as an adult since his social circle had been limited to the same three other people everyday, people he trusted and people that had become his family. Ignis, Gladio, and Noctis all did their best to understand and avoid things that triggered his fear. but just as real was the fact he knew he couldn’t avoid it forever, was just as real as the hold his phobia had over him was.
Habits. He had picked up habits.
Memorizing his friend’s foot patterns, walking speed. Were they walking too fast? Perhaps rushing to the bathroom? How often they coughed...what types of coughs there were.
How often they contracted illnesses...how long they usually took in the bathroom.
Safe spots were the next biggest habit. Habits he had lived with for years. Not habits he wanted, but habits he developed as a coping mechanism. Monitoring and memorizing what made who sick and most importantly what made him feel sick.
Avoid. Red paint. Caution tape.
As a child, his panic attacks were quite vicious. As he grew in age though, he had learned to manage them slightly better or at least suppress the attack until he was alone.
But all of this was unfortunately out of sight and out of mind...and it had been so long since anything had happened...so he didn’t give it much thought. Prompto continued to subconsciously remind himself that things were better and that he would be fine.
But were they? Or were those just lies drifting in the ocean wind?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day was a rest day for the prince and his retinue. They had earned it after a long week of scouting and for royal arms, taking on hunts, and of course fighting against the Empire in the mix.
“Maybe we can head to the market once His Highness gets up.”
Gladio and Prompto were both in the open area of the hotel, scrolling through their phones as Ignis worked in the kitchen.
“Half of the day will have gone by the time sleeping beauty wakes up.”
“Ooh! Maybe we can even hit that photo op place I’ve been wanting to see!” Prompto grinned as he realized they would be nearby.
“I wouldn’t see a problem with that.” Ignis replied.
“Yes finally!”
With the plan for the day established, a comfortable silence fell over the group. Ignis resumed his work (which was a mix of cleaning, organizing, and cooking?), Gladio excused himself to make a phone call to Iris, and Prompto settled for stretching out over the couch.
Just a few minutes later, the sound of shifting could be heard from the bedroom as Noctis had finally woke up.
“Morning Highness.”
“Morning Noct!”
Neither one of them spared a glance and simply greeted their monarch. However they never got a response, but neither one of them found that concerning.
Prompto was so busy enjoying his newfound photo excitement that he missed the cues. Cues he had spent his entire life memorizing.
Silence.
Faster walking.
Coughing.
How?
How?
Prompto tightened his grip on his phone as a horribly familiar sound reached his ears.
Cold ice ran through his body from the top of his head, through his spine, and down to his tones.
Chains is what it felt like. He couldn’t breathe.
Hands covering the ears.
No! He couldn’t hear it, no no!
“Is that Noct?” Ignis asked worriedly. “Noct, are you alright?”
Prompto was already out of the room so he didn’t get an answer either.
Record speed feet dragged him down the hall and into the main hotel lobby.
You’re not safe
Outside allowed enough distance to remove his hands from his ears.
Shaking. Sweating. Betrayal.
Deep breaths tried to still the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Five things you can see…” The gunman whispered to himself. “Red car...kids playing...a green bench...luggage carrier...parking lot…” That stopped the shaking but it didn’t stop the internal voice telling him that he wasn’t far enough. “Your feet are on the ground. You’re outside. You’re alive.”
Prompto knew he needed to keep walking. But he knew there was no way he could still hear all the way outside.
But what if someone else got sick nearby? What was actually safe?
The blonde male stayed outside for what felt like an eternity before finally forcing himself to head back into the hotel. Traveling a floor up, Prompto stopped just a little short of the door.
Slowly...he reached his hand to turn the nob and open the door. But he was trembling far too much to grip it.
“Oh god.” Prompto choked as his voice cracked and finally the tears came.
He couldn’t go in. Not yet. Ever. Never.
His legs made the decision for him though, choosing to give out and collapse on the ground. The blonde weakly pulled his legs to his chest and burying his head on his knees, allowed himself to cry.
“Looks like we won’t be going anywhere today.” Gladio scowled as Noctis used him as a crutch to walk himself back to the bed. “If you’re too weak to even walk.”
“We are certainly not going anywhere.” Ignis spoke firmly. “Highness if you were feeling unwell you should’ve said something. You did overwork yourself quite a bit yesterday during those hunts.”
“I couldn’t tell you what I didn’t know.” Noctis sighed as he let go of Gladio and stiffly settled onto the bed. “I fell asleep last night. The feeling didn’t hit me until this morning.”
“Stasis still hitting you like a truck huh?” Gladio asked.
Noctis nodded slowly, feeling a throbbing behind his head. He should’ve known this was coming. Anytime he overused his abilities or the royal arm and pushed his body into stasis, it always came back to get him.
Ignis gave a “hmm” of acknowledgement. “Well then, back to bed for you. I will prepare some ginger tea and find an antiemetic for you. Gladio, if you would finish assisting Noctis?"
“Alright.”
Once Noctis was as comfortable as he could be and had drank his tea from Ignis, he was allowed to rest.
“Blonde will be disappointed about not going to catch his photo op.” The shield said as he shook his head.
Oh yeah. Prompto.
“Where’s Prompto?” Noctis asked suddenly.
And the realization hit them all at the same time, like a ton of bricks.
How could they have forgotten?!
“Blast it all!” Ignis scowled.
“Oh no…I…” Noctis stuttered. “Prompto!”
“Well. Dang.” Gladio added.
Ignis didn’t have to travel far to find their missing friend/brother, for he was sitting outside the door, in the hotel hall. To say he was bawling, any other day Ignis might have been impressed at how he managed to suppress such intense crying.
“Prompto.” Ignis whispered softly as he shut the door. “Are you okay?”
Prompto immediately shook his head and smeared his tears and snot onto his sweatshirt sleeve. “I’m f-fine.”
The advisor sighed as he kneeled beside him. “You most certainly are not.”
Prompto shook his head once more, stifling a laugh. “You don’t have time for a loser like me Iggy. Noct needs you right now.”
“He’s asleep now, of course and Gladio is with him. We all agreed making sure you were okay was most important.”
At those words, a crackled sob escaped from the younger male and he scrunched in. Prompto forcefully bit his tongue to prevent another streak of sobs from coming out.
“May I touch you Prompto?”
Prompto nodded slowly and Ignis placed his hand on his shoulder.
“I thoroughly cleaned the bathroom. Is there anything else I can do to help?”
“No...thanks Iggy. You’ve done enough.” Prompto whispered. “I just have to stop being a weak crybaby.”
“You are neither of those things and I will not tolerate you speaking about yourself that way." Ignis stated sternly. “You are a human being with a very real fear. If anything we owe you an apology as your friends for forgetting what you go through.”
Prompto sniffled in reply and simply lowered his head into his arms to hide his obviously red, puffy, and wet face.
Ignis gave Prompto another pat, this time on the head before heading back into the room. When he came back he placed his jacket around Prompto.
“Take as much time as you need okay…? And if there’s anything we can do...don’t hesitate to call us.”
Now that everything had settled, Prompto used what little functionality he had left to try to sort out his feelings.
He felt angry and it felt like a betrayal! Noctis knew. He knew! It wasn’t as if he didn’t! He had spent their entire school year together, he had seen how many panic attacks he had around other sick students. Actually, they all knew! Gladio and Ignis too! So how could they let this happen?
However, Prompto knew those feelings were irrational. Being sick wasn’t a betrayal.
And it was that thought that made him feel heartless.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about whether Noct was okay or not either, or that he even wanted an apology. It was just the fact that he was no longer safe, his safety radius had shrunk, and that wanted to be left alone.
Many people had repeatedly told him that “throwing up was a normal part of life” or “that it is the body’s natural way of getting rid of something bad”.
“To heck with that!” was Prompto’s only response.
Those words were honestly the worst things they could say.
Yes, he already knew these things, he scored a high A in Science and autonomy class, but hearing those phrases were as if the debilitating feelings of shame and self-hatred wasn’t enough on the inside, now he needed outside reminders.
Prompto knew other normal humans didn’t experience panic attacks over feeling nauseous and that they didn’t have strict habits to follow, things that weren’t even worth a second thought. But to Prompto, they consumed all his thoughts. He avoided anything that made him feel even slightly sick and stayed motionless in the bed to stave off any bad feeling. It was his way of life.
Prompto stayed away until it was late into the night. When he finally had the mental willpower, he forced himself to stand up and open the door.
Panic and paranoia rushed at him as fast as the gust of wind from the door opening.
What was that sound? Was it a sound of coughing...was the worst going to happen again? Would he be able to run?
But instead he was met with Ignis sitting in the living room, waiting up for him. It was almost 4am.
“You waited for me? And stayed awake?” Prompto asked with disbelief.
Ignis nodded. “Of course. I wanted to make sure you had somewhere you felt safe to sleep.
“Thanks Iggy.”
Prompto took a seat beside Ignis on the couch, and that’s where he ended up staying.
Sleep was a joke though, an elusive one at that.
Memories plagued him, simple sounds sounded all too close to Noctis—
He laid awake all night. Staring at the ceiling. Headphones on and off. Constant checking and peeking in the bedroom.
Did Noctis cough again? Or was that just a sniffle? Or was this actually just a nightmare?
Either way when morning came, Prompto was mentally shot and left with an aftermath of problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Nope. Not going in there.”
For the next two days, Prompto did not use that bathroom. If he needed to wash his hands or something else, he did so at the kitchen sink. And using the bathroom meant walking to the lobby entrance where those stupid public bathrooms were. Who thought hotel rooms only needed one bathroom?
Those same two days, Prompto did not sleep with Noctis. Pillows in between them, whether on opposite ends or not, was not even the beginning of enough space to make him feel safe
The guys tried to keep it normal, but there was the obvious elephant in the room.
And Prompto knew it was his fault. It always was. No one else was afraid of throwing up except him.
Him and Noctis hadn’t had a full conversation in those days either. Nope. Not safe. It was kept short “Hi! Bye! Gotta go! Goodnight!” and that was it.
“He’s finally asleep. Shut everything off.”
Ignis, Gladio, and Noctis didn’t waste any time in muting their phones and shutting everything off in the hotel room (anything that could make noise at least). In the midst of preparing to hit the road again, Prompto had fallen asleep for the first time in actual days.
They all practically tiptoed around the couch and very quietly finished their assigned tasks to pack up the car and the armiger. Hopefully Prompto would be able to sleep for some hours before they left.
“Ah!”
Prompto sat up abruptly. He was sweating and shaking.
A nightmare plagued him...the same reoccurrence of the event, the only difference being that he couldn’t run this time. And he was frozen in place, forced to suffer his way through. Chains of fear bounded his feet and gripped his neck.
However it was deathly silent. He felt something on his head. A sticky note.
“Gone to the store. Be back soon.”
Ah so they had all left.
Prompto sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He really needed to shower as he was sticky and probably smelled, but that required using the bathroom in the room...all the more so walking into a poisonous war zone.
He felt like a hypocrite. No matter how many times he told himself it would be okay the same paralyzing fear was back. And no matter how many times he lay awake at night running scenarios of situations like these in his mind where he reacted the way he wanted to, or where he was that so kind and helpful friend...it never happened when the situation presented itself.
It was never that he didn’t care and didn’t want to help...he just couldn’t. The chains. They were too tight and the key to unlock them was in his heart.
The trio returned from their rendezvous and began to debate on what to choose for dinner since it was their last night in the hotel. In the morning to come, they would have to hit the road.
Ignis and Gladio were in the living room at the table and Noctis and Prompto were in the bedroom.
Improvement.
Noctis sat on one bed and Prompto sat across from him on the other bed. It was silent and they both were mindlessly scrolling through their phones.
“Hey...do you mind if we talk?” Noctis asked.
“Hm? Yeah sure.” Prompto said as he turned around to face his friend.
Noctis didn’t really know what to say. “I know you don’t want me to apologize so I won’t….But I feel bad for scaring you. If I had known I felt bad...I would’ve gave you a heads up or something. I um...know it’s going to be awhile before things go back to normal but...if there’s anything I can do to help...just tell me okay? Even if it means staying away from you.”
The Prince got a response of silence.
He had seen what happened to Prompto before in settings like school and he knew unfortunately the problem was bigger than him, even though he indirectly aggravated it.
“It’s not your fault.” Prompto said quietly; he was at the moment, feeling like the worst human being alive because his best friend was informally apologizing to him for something he couldn’t control.
Noctis almost laughed. “I’m the one who puked though.” He quickly caught himself. “Sorry. I meant to say “got sick.””.
Certain words triggered Prompto like vomit, throw up, puked, etc and you wouldn’t ever catch him saying them either.
Noctis knew anytime he mentioned someone they were with or he himself was nauseous it made Prompto nervous. The blonde would start to panic internally, and he could see him bounce his leg or hide his face, essentially stimming to keep his anxiety contained.
"It’s okay…and I’m glad you're okay though...and I’ll get over it soon okay? Sorry for being weird with you.”
“Don’t apologize.” Noctis said. He looked down and hesitated. “Are...you okay with me sitting by you?”
Prompto smiled as he stood up and sat down next to the Prince. “Let’s play some King’s Knight okay?”
And Noctis couldn’t help but smile back as he felt the just so gentle brisk of Prompto’s arm brushing against his own as the blonde got comfortable and folded his legs in.
They were finally making some headway in the right direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With the next day approaching fast, Prompto knew he couldn’t go camping when he hadn’t showered in almost a week. And there was nowhere else he could go to take a shower so...he had to use the bathroom in the room. It was his last chance.
“Here we go.” Prompto mumbled as he pressed the door open.
Of course the bathroom was sparkling clean and white as it always was.
The blonde sat his clothes on the counter and turned the sink on to wash his hands. Another bad subconscious habit, but he felt like he had picked up a slew of germs just from touching the door.
Contaminated
Back away
The chocobo-headed male closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the voice in his head.
When he finally opened them again, a hot feeling of panic flashed through him.
Was he going to see anything in the sink? What about the toilet if he used it? Even worse could he...smell anything?
“It’s just me in here.” Prompto whispered. “I’m in full control. Noctis is feeling better.” He continued with washing up and started to get in the shower when he heard footsteps.
“Oh god oh god!”
Out of instinct his hands began to cover his ears but he heard a knock at the door.
“Prompto, Specs told me to tell you we’re gonna leave in an hour.”
Right. How silly of him to be afraid.
“Right, thanks!” Prompto called back. He almost fainted from relief right there.
“Okay okay you can do it,” he said as he pulled back the shower curtain. “You won’t get sick, you won’t get sick…” The blonde kept repeating it to himself as he felt the hot water hit his skin and as he shakily gripped the soap bar.
And he successfully took a shower, freshened up, and headed out.
Things were always easier when Prompto was in full control. That’s why living by himself was easy, because it was just him and it was just his secured surroundings. And as long as that was the case, there wouldn’t be contact with his phobia because that was the one thing he never did.
Nope. His paranoia would never let him throw up again.
But living with Gladiolus, Ignis, and Noctis forced him to realize that wouldn’t always be the case. Thankfully for him, his friends tried to be attentive to his needs.
No one coughed excessively, they tried to avoid his trigger words, rarely imitated gagging, and were always careful around him if they were sick.
Of course they were all on better alert now because this incident had caused a reminder for them.
And Prompto had learned his friends.
Ignis was hardly sick if ever, and at most it was a migraine which meant they had to be quiet. Gladio couldn’t afford to be sick as the Prince's shield and Prompto couldn’t even recount once when he had been. Noctis was really the only one who got sick most of the time, whether it be a cold or stasis like the other day.
If his friends caught wind of or knew of someone sick, they would try to inconspicuously remove Prompto from the area without alerting him because they didn’t want to make him feel bad.
Sometimes they told him if something had occurred, that way it wouldn’t seem like they were walking on eggshells around him, and anyway he had a right to know, especially if he felt the area was unsafe. Other times they choose not to tell him for his mental well-being, and despite the fact that this would sometimes frustrate him, he had to let those feelings of frustration go because he knew his friends had his best interest at heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Whose footsteps are those? Uneven. Heavy. Gladio’s...and he is walking normally.'
“Looks like we’re about ready to haul out.” Gladio called.
Noctis yawned tiredly as Prompto exited from the bathroom and began packing up the rest of his stuff. Ignis walked by him and gave him a small pat on the shoulder.
An affirmation. He could only imagine how hard it was for him.
He also got a thumbs up from Gladio. Sometimes words weren’t needed.
Prompto smiled a small smile towards his friends.
“C’mon princess.” Gladio ruffled Noctis' hair.
Noctis swatted him away. “Back off!”
And the usual banter returned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not all instances were Prompto’s thoughts on whether or not someone or he himself would get sick. But it was most of the time. However, on the other hand, he treasured the moments where he wasn’t living in fear.
“I miss the hotel already.” Prompto whined as he flopped into his camp chair.
“No kidding.” Noctis mumbled.
“Aw man up wusses.” Gladio bellowed as he laughed. “The outside is good for you.”
“Good for bugs, you mean?” Prompto asked wearily. “And bee stings?”
“Safety is important and should always come first”. Ignis commented as he handed everyone their dinner plates. “And showers are appreciated.”
“Hotel wins! Iggy’s vote always wins.” Prompto stuck out his tongue.
And everyone laughed.
The first night camping, the boys rearranged and let Prompto sleep on the far end near the exit so he wouldn’t feel like the walls were closing in on him.
The second night, he surprised everyone by getting back in his normal spot in the middle where he was blocked in. Essentially it would be near impossible to get up in the event of a panic attack or a trigger because Noctis was on his right and Ignis was on his left.
“Are you sure?” Ignis asked.
Prompto nodded. “Yep! This is an easier step to take than any of the others. And I missed my natural heater.”
“You're using me.” Noctis slurred from the corner.
The two older males shook their heads but agreed.
So for bed that night Prompto slept in the middle.
Once the lantern was blown out and everyone was falling asleep...he whispered affirmations to himself.
“You can do it. You’ll have sweet dreams tonight. Camp is far enough where you won’t hear anything.” Prompto squeezed his eyes shut and shakily looped his arm through Noctis'. His usual sense of comfort.
And he fell asleep not long after.
So those countless weeks later, when they got another hotel room to stay in, he was able to use the bathroom and sleep better than he had been.