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Keeley poked her head out of her office. “Barbara, d’you have a minute?”
“Oh, are you ready to apologize for being such a skeptic about the whole Shandy thing?”
Keeley winced. “Did the candles not help? Anyway, yes, you were right, Shandy was a shite employee, but that’s not what I wanted to ask you.”
Quickly turning the window opaque, Barbara watched as Keeley rummaged through her desk. Finally, she revealed a pair of what looked like actual parchment scrolls.
“A formal attempt at negotiating an armistice,” Barbara deadpanned, “I’m impressed.”
Keeley quickly unrolled one of the papers. “It’s an invitation. Afternoon tea at this new restaurant that just opened. It’s supposed to be super hard to get a reservation.”
“Fascinating. Why are you showing this to me?”
“Well, the invite is for four, but obviously I’ll not be bringing Shandy and whatever mess of a person she’s with this week, so. Wanna go?”
Barbara did not want to go. “Sure.”
“Wait, you’ve got a partner, right?”
“Ah. That. No, I do not—”
“Not an issue at all!” Keeley interrupted. “I know plenty of hot footballers who’d be willing to go on a sort of blind date.”
Barbara tried and failed to suppress a wince.
“Oh! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. I can just as easily find a nice girl to—”
“It’s not that. I, well. Suffice to say I’d be distinctly uncomfortable regardless. Maybe, just, bring along one of your friends?”
Keeley brightened up. “I’ll ask Roy, he’ll despise it.”
“You are not Roy Kent.”
“Barbara! So happy you made it.” Keeley’s smile never left her lips, but her rushed speech and constant movement belied her nervousness. “You know Jack, of course, and this is Jamie Tartt, who will be your…” Keeley made several impressive attempts at avoiding eye contact with any and all living creatures before finally finishing her sentence. “Your… companion… this afternoon.”
Barbara grimaced. “How lovely.”
“Well then,” Keeley clapped her hands together, “let’s go find our table!”
The table, as it turned out, was actually a low ottoman, centered between a pair of garish magenta loveseats. Jack wasted no time settling across one of them, letting Keeley lounge against her. Barbara and Jamie remained standing, both of them decidedly less than enthusiastic about the whole affair.
After exchanging several confused glances with Barbara, Jamie spoke up hesitantly. “Not to rain on your parade, Keeley, but what am I doing here?”
Barbara nodded. “This sort of place isn’t exactly my scene, either.”
Keeley pointedly looked away from the nearby couples making out on their own plush furniture, and the heart-shaped chandeliers and the rose petals littering the floor, and really the entire theme of the restaurant. She really would’ve been better off just closing her eyes.
“You’re here because Shandy’s a bitch and Keeley loves petty revenge.” This comment came from Jack, reclining in the loveseat like she was the queen of the entire damn restaurant. “The whole theme with this place is that one person in any given group has got to be personally invited by the proprietors. Of course, the catch is that the only people allowed in are groups of four on double dates. Shandy didn’t quite make the shortlist, and she hasn’t gotten anyone to invite her, either.”
Having said all this, Jack settled deeper into her seat with a grin. Jamie and Barbara could only stare in awkward horror, first at each other and then at Keeley, now sipping from a cup of steaming hot tea.
“Keeley, I have so many questions, but first of all, when the fuck did that bloody teacup appear?” Jamie asked.
Barbara’d had enough. Crossing the metre of space between herself and Keeley, voice almost devoid of emotion, she said, “Keeley. I’m sure the food here is lovely and I certainly understand wanting to make Shandy suffer, but you really should’ve asked someone else to join you. This is the sort of event I prefer to avoid at all cost.”
Jamie nodded. “Same here. Or did you already forget?” This second part was directed at Keeley, whose grin was starting to take over her face.
“And now we reach the second reason for this.” Keeley was almost glowing with glee. “Jamie, aren’t you always complaining about how little community you have around here?”
Realization began to dawn on Barbara. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a simple white ring and slipped it carefully, deliberately, onto her left middle finger, never looking away from Jamie as she did so.
Now Jamie too was beginning to understand what Keeley had been plotting. “I like your ring,” he offered hesitantly, unlocking his phone to show Barbara a selfie of himself, holding a miniature aromantic flag.
Keeley just smirked. “Ready to apologize for being such a skeptic, Babs?”