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No one liked stake outs. They were boring, tedious, and two times out of three, completely useless. This one was worse than most. Supposedly some big deal was going to go down which required all of the bats to be present. Even Oracle was there, set up and ready to intercept any communications that came through. Unfortunately, due to the limited number of suitable hiding spaces in range of the drop point, they all found themselves crammed together on one rooftop in agonizingly close proximity.
Batman ordered radio silence as he scouted the perimeter. All the rest could do was wait. And wait. Basically, they were bored.
Stephanie cracked first, “We could play a game?”
Seven masks turned to look at her.
Duke spoke, “like what?”
She contemplated for a second, “never have I ever?”
Dick grinned, “Yes!” At the same time Jason said “No.” And Tim put his head in his hands and groaned.
Damien just looked confused, “What?”
“It's a party game,” Duke explained, “You hold up ten fingers and take turns saying things you’ve never done, if you have done it then you put a finger down.”
“That sounds stupid.”
“It is!” Tim contributed.
“Then let us play.” Tim glared at the youngest bat for his betrayal.
Jason groaned and leaned back on his elbows as the others arranged themselves into a circle. “We couldn't atleast play the alcoholic version?”
“No!” the room chorused.
“Great! I’ll go first,” Stephanie grinned as the others each reluctantly held up ten fingers, “never have I ever smoked weed!”
Jason, Dick, and Barbara each put down a finger.
Stephanie gave a dramatic gasp “Babs! No!”
“I did go to college, Steph.”
“What would your father say?” she giggled, “alright, who’s next? Tim?”
“Never have I ever eaten more than two waffles in a single day.”
“Low blow Tim.”
“Tt,” Damien put down a finger.
“My man!” Stephanie fist bumped him, “Jason?”
He already had a cruel smirk as he opened his mouth, no doubt ready with something bitter and biting but Cas intercepted with a soft but stern “play nice.”
He looked at her. She looked back. He glared. She won.
“Never have I ever… heard Alfred curse.”
Barbara put down a finger.
“I KNEW IT!”
“WHAT? WHEN?” came from dick.
“Wait,” Tim cut in, “What kind of cursing are we talking here? ‘Cause Dick’s name doesn’t count, and British cursing barely counts.”
“He told Bruce he fucked up.”
“YOOOOOOOO”
When they managed to calm down after collectively losing their shit, Cas piped up, “never have I ever been Robin.”
Dick, Jason, Tim, Damien, and Duke all put fingers down with various degrees of enthusiasm.
They all paused.
“Steph?” Tim asked.
“Oh, do I count? I was barely-”
“OF COURSE YOU COUNT!”
“Oh okay,” she put a finger down.
It was Barbara’s turn, “damn, Cas took mine. Uh, never have I ever made out with a villain.”
“Liar, I know for a fact that you’ve kissed Poison Ivy.”
“Fine, never have I ever dated a villain.” Tim and Jason each put a finger down.
Dick hesitated. “Define date.”
“Grayson, there is no semantic that would disqualify you from this one.”
Dick put his finger down.
“Never have I ever trained to be an assassin.”
“That's petty Grayson.” Cas, Jason, Tim, and Damien put fingers down.
“Never have I ever been intoxicated.” Damien declared with an air of superiority.
Dick, Barbara, Jason, Duke, and Stephanie put their fingers down.
Dick looked at Stephanie, scandalized, “But you’re not old enough!”
Tim also put a finger down.
“You’re definitely not old enough!”
Tim shrugged sheepishly as Stephanie forced a high five on him.
Duke contemplated for a moment, “never have I ever accidentally called Bruce dad.”
“I call him father as is proper” Damien said.
Dick put down a finger unabashedly. Tim and Jason quietly followed.
The circle was back to Steph. “Never have I ever lost my clothes during a fight.”
Dick pouted at her, “I’m feeling so attacked right now.”
“You should.”
“Never have I ever beaten Bruce in a fight.” Tim said.
Cassandra put down a finger shyly.
Jason patted her on the back, nodding with approval, “You’re an inspiration to us all. Never have I ever gotten a drivers license.”
“But you drive all the time?” Duke questioned.
“Yup.”
“Then how-”
“You don't need a license to drive. You just need it to drive legally. Kinda hard to get when you’re legally dead.”
“I feel that.” Stephanie said as she, Duke, Dick and Barbara all put down fingers. There was a pause as she looked at Tim expectantly. “Tim, do you not have a license?”
“I have a learners permit,” he said petulantly.
“You’re eighteen.”
“I failed the tests, okay!”
“How did you fail the test? Did Bruce not teach you?”
“The batmobile is not the same as other cars.”
“Wait did you say tests plural?”
“Look, I hadn’t slept much the night before and I swear the light was yellow-”
“TIM.”
When they were done bullying Tim, it was Cassandra’s turn.
“Built a snowman,” she said.
“Oh honey.”
Almost all of them put their fingers down.
“I would recommend it,” Damian said seriously. “Grayson showed me how and I have found that they make adequate sparring dummies.”
“You have to get out of the city for that don’t you?” Jason contemplated, “Cause when it falls around here it just turns black and nasty.”
“Hold on I’m calling Mr. Freeze.” Steph got out her phone.
“You have Mr. Freeze’s number?”
“Please do not call Mr. Freeze.” Barbara sighed.
Stephanie pouted then leaned over Tim and Jason to stage whisper to Cas, “We’ll call Mr. Freeze tomorrow.”
Barbara decided to pick her battles and move on. “Never have I ever been in foster care.”
“Oh look at me I have a living parent.” Dick put on a voice that may have been an impression of babs.
“What kind of vigilante has parents?” Duke joked.
“Don’t you know healthy families are for nerds?” Jason jeered.
“You all need therapy.”
“Does talking to Harley count?” Dick asked.
“No.”
“Then never have I ever been to therapy.”
She looked around the circle as no one lowered a finger. “That’s just sad.”
Jason hesitated then lowered his pointer, leaving a middle finger on each hand left up. The room was silent for a beat and not because of the rude gesture. They were all immune to that by now.
Tim broke the tension, “really?”
“What.” Jason bit back.
“And it didn’t help with the… homicidal tendencies?”
“You’re still alive aren’t you?” Tim put his hands up in surrender. He didn’t really want to start a fight. They’d all been on unusually good terms with the Red Hood lately. Damien apparently did not share the sentiment.
“Never have I ever used a gun.'' Damien said disdainfully.
“Bite me brat.”
Barbara and Cas put their fingers down as well. At the incredulous looks they got Barbara rolled her eyes. “My dads a cop.”
“Understandable, but you have never used it while under Batman's teachings.” Damian pointedly looked at Jason.
“Try dying sometime then see how you feel about guns.” Jason growled.
Damien looked ready to launch himself across the circle, but Duke cut in. “Never have I ever died.”
“Wow, real creative.” Jason deadpanned “I’m out, happy?”
“Welp, I’m out.” Dick said, leaning back on his hands.
“What.”
“Please, you think you’re the only one who’s died?” Steph laughed as she lowered a finger.
“You’re not that special.” Tim lowered a finger as well.
“Tt.” Damian was down to one hand.
Cassandra followed.
Jason stared around the circle in horror. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Oh!” Steph cheered, “Never have I ever tried to kill Batman!”
“I’m out.” Babs said, scooting away from the circle to check her monitor.
“Me too.” Tim stood to join her.
“I think I’m in the negatives now.” Dick laughed.
Jason continued to stare as the circle broke up. “What. the. Fuck.”