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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of Dean's Wish
Stats:
Published:
2023-06-16
Completed:
2023-07-24
Words:
101,639
Chapters:
57/57
Comments:
49
Kudos:
80
Bookmarks:
23
Hits:
4,498

Lemon Fields

Summary:

Dean has spent seven years in Heaven. He has everything he ever wanted: a house, a marriage, a kid, a dog, his family, and his car. Life is easy. Life is perfect.

Yet there's an aching hole in Dean's heart. He starts to understand why and what he must do, even if it destroys every relationship he has in the process.

Notes:

The end of this story is going to have MAJOR SPOILERS FROM 'THE WINCHESTERS'. DO NOT read this story unless you're okay with having the ENTIRE SHOW SPOILED. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING. Two songs heavily influenced this story:

 

Weird Goodbyes by The National:

 

Memorize the bathwater, memorize the air
There'll come a time I'll wanna know I was here
Names on the doorframes, inches and ages
Handprints in concrete, at the softest stages
I don't know why I don't try harder
I feel like throwing towels into water
Get it down to nothing, everything that matters
Fever flashes, eyelashes and traffic patterns
Humidity, history, chemistry and panic
Swimsuits in windows of electric minivans
I don't know why I don't try harder
I've been going down some, some strange water
Move forward now, there's nothing to do
Can't turn around, I can't follow you
Your coat's in my car, I guess you forgot
It's crazy the things we let go of
It finally hits me, a mile's drive
The sky is leaking, my windshield's crying
I'm feeling sacred, my soul is stripped
Radio's painful, the words are clipped
The grief, it gets me, the weird goodbyes
My car is creepin', I think it's dying
I'm pullin' over until it heals
I'm on a shoulder of lemon fields
What was I even leaving for
I keep going back and forth
I think now I'm about to see
Didn't know how sad it'd be
Memorize the bathwater, memorize the air
There'll come a time I'll wanna know I was here
Names on the doorframes, inches and ages
Handprints in concrete, at the softest stages
I don't know why I don't try harder
I feel like throwing towels into water
Move forward now, there's nothing to do
Can't turn around, and I can't follow you
Your coat's in my car, I guess you forgot
It's crazy the things we let go of
It finally hits me, a mile's drive
The sky is leaking, my windshield's crying
I'm feeling sacred, my soul is stripped
Radio's painful, the words are clipped
The grief, it gets me, and the weird goodbyes
My car is creepin', I think it's dying
I'm pullin' over until it heals
I'm on a shoulder of lemon fields
The grief, it gets me, the weird goodbyes
My car is creepin', I think it's dying
I'm pullin' over until it heals
I'm on a shoulder of lemon fields

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Aaron Brooking Dessner / Matt Berninger
Weird Goodbyes lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing

 

Honeybee by The Head and the Heart

 

Honeybee
Could you imagine where our lives would lead?
That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be
Luckily you saw in me
Something I couldn't see
Honeybee
I can't imagine how my life would be
If all your gravity did not hit me
Oh, don't you see?
Darling, my honeybee
But here we are
After all the misses and confessions
To the stars
That we never really owned as ours
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself for leaving out
You're the one, you are the only one
Such a fool
I took your love and I bent all the rules
You took the blow and didn't let it show
Stuck around to let me know
Built a family of our own
Look around
We made a garden of the love we found
So many reasons I would fight to stay
You're the courage when I fade
Take a look at what we've made
But here we are
After all the misses and confessions
To the stars
That we never really owned as ours
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself for leaving out
You're the one, you are the only one
Won't you decide?
Won't you decide?
I want you to soar
Don't doubt anymore
Won't you decide? (What's your name?)
Won't you decide?
(I hope you can hear me, I needed you near me)
I want you to soar (you save my life)
Don't doubt anymore (let's keep this between you and I)
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself for leaving out
And if our world comes tumbling down
(The world comes tumbling down)
I never could forgive myself, for leaving out
You're the one, you are the only one
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself, I'll say it now
You're the one, you are the only one

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Robert Tyler Williams / Jonathan Eric Russell / Christopher Shane Zasche / Charity Rose Thielen / Ryn Weaver / Alex Salibian / Mathew Lee Gervais
Honeybee lyrics © Snacks And Buddies, Buddies And Snacks

Chapter Text

"Hey Cas?"

Sam didn't think to pause before opening the door. Giving a, 'Hey Cas?' wasn't so much of a, 'Could I come in?' as it was simply announcing his presence. Sam entered the room to find a situation that, decades ago, would have been baffling (and perhaps even a little bit embarrassing).

Castiel sat on the bed, dressed as he always was. Dean was there too, dressed in his dark red t-shirt, dark jeans, and boots. The part that would have caused pause years ago was the fact that Dean was curled up on the bed, head in Castiel's lap as he lay asleep. Castiel looked up from where he had been staring at Dean rather lovingly, his hand still entangled in Dean's hair. The angel paused just a moment before going back to running his fingers through Dean's hair, blue eyes falling back to the sleeping man's serene face.

"Oh. Sorry," Sam whispered. "I can just go—"

"It's alright Sam," Castiel assured, whispering back. "He is deeply asleep."

"You sure? I don't mind coming back—"

"Sam," Castiel replied, sounding annoyed. "You wouldn't have sought me out had you not needed something."

Sam shuffled into the room quietly. He gave an anxious look at his sleeping brother. "Really, I can just come back later—"

Now Castiel looked annoyed. "Sam."

Sam looked at Dean, and a small smile graced his lips. "It's just nice, yaknow?"

Castiel did his tilty-head eye-squint.

"Dean," Sam continued, giving a proper smile then. "Seeing him sleep so…at peace."

Castiel smiled once more down at Dean. "Ah yes. That. It is rather nice, isn't it?"

"I'll get used to it. Eventually."

Castiel looked back up at Sam and smiled. "How may I assist you? I doubt you wanted to talk to me about your brother's sleeping habits."

Sam frowned. "It's…Actually about him."

"Oh?"

"I'm—worried."

Castiel's brow knitted. "Worried?"

Sam smiled and then started to back peddle. "You know what? Nevermind, it's silly—"

"Sam. If it's enough to garner your attention, I highly doubt whatever it is is silly."

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I hope it is."

"What about Dean is troubling you? Besides the usual?"

Sam had to stifle a laugh. That was another thing he'd have to get used to eventually—his best-friend-angel-brother-in-law joking around now.

"Well, there's always that," Sam conceded. "But there's also…this."

When Sam sort of gestured around vaguely, Castiel looked confused again. "I don't understand."

"Cas—we're in the bunker."

"So?"

"So?" Sam took a breath, getting his temper in check before it would flare up. Cas didn't deserve that. "We're in Heaven."

"I'm well aware," Castiel whispered slowly.

"Why are we here?"

"Oh. Well, because I couldn't find Dean this morning, and I know he has been coming here a lot, so I figured I would be able to find him here—"

"You misunderstand me. Why would Dean need to recreate the bunker?"

Castiel frowned, pausing his hand from going through Dean's hair. "Oh. That. Yes, it's bothered me too."

"We've been here for years now Cas," Sam stated. "Why now?"

Castiel went back to running his hands through Dean's hair. "I'm not sure."

"Have you noticed anything? Like, is he acting weird?"

"Weirder than normal you mean?"

Now Sam did laugh, though he tried to keep it quiet. "Yes, smart-ass."

Castiel grinned for a moment before turning serious once more. "No, nothing. I was admittedly worried when Dean conjured up this place a few weeks ago, but honestly I've let my guard down. I genuinely think it's a bought of nostalgia."

Sam snorted. "Nostalgia? Cas, this place isn't exactly happy. Kevin was killed here. Lucifer showed up and pretended to be you. Fuck, Dean almost killed you here."

Castiel's frown deepened. "I understand that, but it holds deep relevance in both of your lives. You lived here. I know you both have good memories here. Dean told me how he felt like he finally had a home here; he told me about Charlie and The Wizard of Oz fiasco, but how it ended well and he was happy for Charlie. Regardless of connotation, it was a huge part of Dean's life."

"Yeah, well—"

Dean snorted in his sleep. Both Castiel and Sam froze. When it became apparent Dean wasn't about to wake up, they both relaxed.

"Just tell me if he starts acting weird, okay?"

Castiel smiled. "Of course, Sam. You'll be the first to know."

Sam returned the smile. "Thanks, Cas."

Castiel nodded. Sam turned around, leaving Dean's bedroom. Castiel looked back down at Dean and gave a little sigh. Then he leaned down, planting a kiss against Dean's temple.

"Your brother still wants nothing more than to protect you," Castiel whispered down at Dean. "Even after all these years. You are so loved."

Smiling, Castiel went back to running his fingers through Dean's soft hair.