Chapter Text
After Childe suggested it the first time, they and Diluc went shopping almost regularly, which should’ve been weird to Diluc, but somehow it wasn’t.
Not the shopping for women’s clothes, that still filled the poor redhead with anxiety no matter how many times she got to stand in that section she never imagined herself being able to be in. No, what she meant was that hanging out with Childe became one of her favorite activities.
Their quick puns, their confident laughter, the way they stood by Diluc’s side when there were a few too many people for her liking, somehow sensing the Ragnvindr’s discomfort, all contributed to having a surprisingly good time after only being roommates who get along barely enough to live together.
The redhead had been surprised that Childe even waited for Diluc outside the room of her last lecture to pick her up every time.
But back to the current scene, they were at the local mall right now, in a clothing shop Diluc had already been in a few times, just not... in the women's section.
She shifted on her heels as she stood in front of a variety of skirts and skimmed her eyes over the racks.
"Hey, what about this one?", Diluc's roommate caught her attention. They held a pink/white argyle patterned skirt that would end around mid-thigh.
Diluc took the skirt out of Childe's hands, "It's nice.", she said shyly.
"Right? Should we go try it and the other stuff on? I think we've got quite a few things.", Childe motioned their head towards both their and Diluc's arms which were filled with some hoodies, a few blouses, skirts, and different kinds of stockings and tights.
"Oh, uh, yeah, we probably do.", Diluc nodded and both of them made their way over to the changing rooms.
It took a while to try everything on, but every Outfit made Diluc look at her reflection in awe.
She saw how the skirts swished around her thighs and how that one cropped hoodie accentuated her waist.
She looked like she never thought she could look like; cute and soft.
All her life she's been told to be tough and stern and dominant 'like a man', but that wasn't her reality. This, right now, was.
"How's it looking in there, girlie?", Diluc heard Childe's voice through the curtain.
The redhead blushed slightly at the nickname, "I'm pretty much done. I just need to change back."
"Wait, I found something else you might want to try on!", the ginger sounded a bit too mischievous for Diluc's liking.
Their hand passed through the curtain and in it, they held a hanger with a bralette.
The garment was white and had a deep-V cut with lace.
Diluc choked on her words momentarily, but eventually took the bralette, "Okay, I'll try it."
She took off the sweater and then pulled the bralette over her head, adjusted it, and examined it in the mirror.
It looked cute on her, but Diluc was still unsure when it came to wearing stuff like this. Maybe a second opinion would help...
She cleared her throat, "Childe? C-can you...come in for a moment, please?"
"Huh? Okay.", Childe slipped into the changing room and faced Diluc.
"If seeing you in lingerie is becoming a common thing, you should take me out on a date first.", they teased lightheartedly.
Diluc crossed her arms and grumbled, "Shut up."
"Your emo attitude is adorable, firefly, but what did you call me in for?", Childe questioned.
The redhead's eyebrows went up slightly, "Oh. right.", she let her arms hang around her side again, "Uhm, what do you think?"
Color rose in Diluc's cheeks as blue orbs raked over her chest area, and there might've been a slight tint of pink on Childe's cheeks as well, but the short girl was too embarrassed to notice.
"L-looks great, comrade!", Childe tried to keep their voice stable.
Diluc got the courage to look into the other's eyes, "It does?"
"Yes! The color makes your hair look like it's glowing. H-honestly, you look ethereal in it.", The ginger said, their mouth being faster than their thoughts.
The redhead's face matched her hair now. She looked at her roommate with wide eyes and squeaked, "I-I...I do?"
Realization hit Childe and their face turned the color of a tomato as well, "Uhhh...Y-yeah, you do. Sorry, uhm, w-was that too much?"
"No! No, I... appreciate the compliment, t-thank you.", Diluc stammered.
"Oh, ok, then...no problem." The taller of the two laughed awkwardly, "I'm gonna wait outside again.", and they hurried out of the changing room.
Diluc quickly changed back after this exchange and they went to pay since she decided to buy all the things she tried on.
Yes, that included the bralette.
The atmosphere between the two roommates was slightly tense at the checkout, but because Childe never stayed quiet for long, they were back to their usual dynamic in a short amount of time.
"Wow, thank god you're such a rich kid.", Childe quipped as they carried multiple shopping bags around the mall.
"Doesn't your job pay you a huge amount as well?", Diluc questioned.
"That wasn't the point.", the other dodged the question, "Should we head home now?"
Diluc nodded and they made their way back to their apartment.
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After the two got back to their apartment, they unpacked their shopping haul and Diluc had taken a shower. She was now sitting at the dining table in one of her large band t-shirts and Childe was standing at the stove, adding the last touches to the dinner they'd made for them, as Mondays were their turn to cook.
Diluc was just doing tasks on her phone – checking schedules, her assignments, etc. when her ginger roommate placed a bowl of steaming and delicious-smelling chicken fricassee with rice in front of her and took a seat opposite Diluc with their own filled bowl.
"It still surprises me every time that you're actually capable of producing something edible without burning our kitchen down.", Diluc said half-jokingly.
She still remembered how her brother, Kaeya, used to almost destroy their kitchen every time he even touched something related to cooking, and when she had gotten Childe as her roommate and found a lot of similarities regarding both their chaotic nature, she genuinely expected the worst to happen the first time Childe decided to cook for them.
But the redhead's worst fears fortunately didn't come true, and her roommate had made a meal that wasn't only adequate or barely managed to be put together, but actually really really good — and their kitchen had looked fine too, barely any hint that anyone was handling food there at all, except for the used pots and pans that sat on the stove, waiting to be washed after they ate.
Diluc learned that Childe knew how to cook so well and organized (basically completely opposite to how they handle everything else), because they had a lot of siblings back home, and of course had to help a lot with the cooking and just caring for them in general.
It was admirable, Diluc thought back then. Childe learning to be so responsible because they care for their family so much, it is a true sign of love, and Diluc could relate, after all, she had to care for Kaeya a lot as well when their father was busy or when…well...Kaeya almost burned the kitchen down, as said earlier...
"Hey, come on! I know I'm a bit chaotic, but you couldn't have had that little faith in me!", Childe pouted, mock-offended.
"Hm, you should've seen what I had to deal with when Kaeya tried to cook.
If you saw that you'd be very cautious as well."
"Honestly, I would like to see Kaeya absolutely fail to cook a basic meal, that would be hilarious." the ginger cackled.
Diluc just rolled her eyes, of course, Childe would find it funny to see Kaeya struggled with something. Ever since the two got introduced to each other, Kaeya and Childe were always competing about everything.
Diluc supposed it made sense that the two were always neck to neck because while Diluc and Childe shared kind of a small frenemy relationship (more like plain annoyance on Diluc's part) because of their very different personalities of very quiet and reserved to chaotic and way too energetic, Childe and Kaeya were quite alike in many aspects and that's probably why they're making everything between them a competition.
Though, they always found a truce in their love for teasing and annoying Diluc, because of course they do.
They sat and ate quietly for the most part, besides the usual talk about classes or some campus gossip, but when they stood at the sink to wash their dishes, a knock came on their apartment door.
"I'll get it.", Diluc said and made her way over.
When she opened the door, it was none other than the person she was thinking and talking about just a few minutes ago.
Kaeya stood at the door with his usual and always slightly unsettlingly mischievous smile.
"Kaeya? What are you doing here?", Diluc asked in confusion, she and Kaeya mostly planned whenever they met because of their busy schedules, though Kaeya just randomly showing up at her apartment was honestly not as much of a rare occurrence as Diluc would like it to be.
Kaeya hummed in thought, but he wasn't really, "Just wanted to stop by, you know.
What's so wrong about visiting my dear brother once in a while?" Kaeya teased with his usual attitude, though him calling Diluc his "brother" did catch her off guard for a second after spending nearly the whole day with Childe.
Diluc just hoped Kaeya didn't see her tense up a bit.
"If you came here to get free liquor again, you don't have to lie so shamelessly, but I guess it would be cruel to just dump you out on the street again.", Diluc deadpanned while stepping aside to let Kaeya in, but her younger brother just laughed lightly as he entered the apartment.
At that moment, Childe exited their kitchen, "Oh damn, is that Kaeya Alberich's voice I hear? What brings us the honor?", Diluc's ginger roommate mocked.
"Ah, you know, just visiting my big bro, 'cause I missed him so much.", the blue-haired man slung an arm tightly around Diluc and she gave him an annoyed grunt.
"Let go of me, Kae, or do you want to lose your arm?" She threatened darkly and Kaeya did release her and bumped her shoulder with his, "Alright alright."
Childe just watched the siblings' display with amusement in their face, and if they noticed Kaeya misgendering Diluc or Diluc being a bit uneased by it, they didn't show it.
In a way, it was good of course. Diluc wanted to tell Kaeya, but in her own time, so Childe acting like everything's ordinary was giving her something less to worry about.
Maybe Diluc could even tell Kaeya today, but...
Okay, maybe Diluc was way too nervous about it, which wasn't even really justified – Kaeya was bi and also dressed in a way that indicates that he doesn't give two fucks about conventional gender roles or has a very conservative view of what it means to be a man or a woman, let alone be transphobic.
In theory, Kaeya would accept her effortlessly and with as much brotherly love as he always would when they talked about more serious things, but there was still a nagging bug in Diluc's brain that told her that ‘maybe it was different because it's me’, and ‘he would only accept me as his brother’ or ‘what if he treats me differently or weirdly after that?’ or ‘Maybe he won't believe me, it's very sudden after all these years of seemingly being a confident man, I would even doubt myself’ and ‘It would be weird for anyone to just see me as a woman, right?’
Diluc shook these thoughts away.
No, Kaeya wouldn't do any of that, she knows him. He's caring and has always listened to Diluc when it mattered, never judging or doubting her. Logically, there is an almost 0% chance that Kaeya wouldn't accept her identity...
Then why was she still so nervous about it?!
Diluc snapped out of her panic when Kaeya asked her a question, "...right, Diluc?"
"Huh? Sorry, what did you ask?", Diluc realized that he and Childe seemed to have started a small conversation while she was lost in her thoughts.
"Childe and I were wondering who's more in favor of our profs, and it must be me, since I'm more obviously charming, right 'luc?", ah yes, right back to these two's shenanigans.
"More charming?", Childe scoffed a laugh, "More like more concerningly horny, you've flirted with almost every professor on our campus, even the ones you don't even have classes with!"
"Oh come on! We live in the 21st century, a little flirtiness never hurts, and I think that has nothing to do with the fact that I am simply more charismatic than you.", Kaeya smirked and Diluc sighed enervated.
"I think none of you are any charming, and all the professors probably value intelligence more than... flirtiness.", Diluc sounded done with the both of them, though a small part of her was glad for the distraction from her anxiety.
"Ugh, Diluc definitely wouldn't be a fun prof, though the answer is expected. And, luckily I also win in the intelligence category in comparison with Childe.", Kaeya brushed his bangs out of his face with a confident expression, obviously trying to rile Childe up.
"What?! I'm sorry but I think I've got some pretty good smarts unlike you." Diluc raised an eyebrow at Childe after the phrase ‘pretty good smarts’, which probably made them realize they were fighting a losing battle, "But whatever, I gotta go do some of my assignments, I'll be in my room if anyone needs me for serious discussions.", they mocked Kaeya (though it was quite ironic because they also started half of the useless arguments they and Kaeya had), as they went off down the hall.
Diluc sighed when Childe closed the door behind themself, and turned to her brother, "Do you want some tea or anything?" but Kaeya shook his head, "No, I'm good" and took off towards Diluc's room. He knew the apartment as well as its residents by now.
Diluc followed, still debating with herself on whether or not just to take the leap and tell Kaeya, but when she just thought back at the way she felt just these past days with Childe, she knew that she wanted more of the people close to her to know and treat her this way, because it made her...happy, and it outweighed her anxiety, soooo, she decided to tell him.
Kaeya was sitting near the end of her bed when she entered the room and closed the door, just lounging and looking around as if he wasn't in this room a million times already, and Diluc wasn't one for much decoration, so it looked the same as always. Though, at this moment Diluc could swear the walls may have moved closer together and the floor looked more appealing than usual because she was staring holes in it right now.
"Kae.", oh god, why was her voice already shaking? "Can I talk to you about something?"
Kaeya's expression turned more serious at Diluc's tone of voice, but he didn’t break his casual persona completely yet, "Sure." He said and patted the space on the bed next to him.
Diluc went to sit and tried to quickly gather her thoughts, the silence between them was killing her.
"I-", she started but broke it off, taking a deep breath.
I can do it. It's just Kaeya. It's just Kaeya. It's. Just. Kaeya.
"'Luc." Diluc's gaze tore itself from the floor to her brother's eyes, "take your time, alright?"
It managed to calm her down a touch, and she breathed in and out a few times before deeming herself ready enough to speak.
"Recently, I had... a realization about something." Kaeya was listening patiently and Diluc took another breath.
"I never felt quite right, being seen as masculine, having to be all those things you associate with masculinity or fitting into that role of how the average man should be. And it isn't just... about gender expression for me either." Another breath, eyes locked to the hands in her lap, "and, the realization I had, or the conclusion I came to is...that I... am not a man and never was and will never be one.", her hands were shaking like leaves, but she was almost there, “I'm a woman, it makes me incredibly happy being one and I know this is probably a lot to adjust to, but I would just like you to use she/her pronouns for me and not call me your brother anymore, but," Diluc took a wheezing breath, since when had she been crying? "your sister, please."
The moment Diluc had finished talking, she was pulled into a tight hug by Kaeya, which surprised her at first.
"'Luc, no need to cry, alright? You're my family, and I love you, so of course I'll accept you and I'll do my best to call you by the right pronouns. I just want you to be happy, and I'll also call you by all the girliest nicknames I can think of if that is what you want.", Kaeya chuckled lightly and Diluc did too, "You know you're the best sister in the world, you care for me so I'll care for you and it will always be this way.", Now Diluc was crying for another reason than her uncontrollable anxiety a few minutes ago. She nodded and sobbed into Kaeya's shoulder.
Kaeya let Diluc cry in his arms for a while, his hand stroking her back in a soothing manner as he was thinking more about what Diluc had told him.
Ever since they were kids, they were the focus of the public eye because of their father's position as one of the top winery owners. Kaeya noticed though, that being the oldest and the biological child of Crepus, Diluc was particularly affected by the people's ever-judging eyes.
This led to Kaeya feeling rather protective over Diluc, even though he was supposed to be the younger one.
Kaeya wanted Diluc to feel free from all her responsibilities sometimes and often convinced her to be more laid back and included her in most of his usual teenage escapades, but there was only so much one teenage boy could do about the weight of other people's expectations.
Kaeya knew Diluc was affected by having to be the "perfect son" to their family and to grow up and be a good business owner, a responsibility Kaeya didn't have to bear as much as her, so he instead put the task on himself to protect Diluc as much as he can with his abilities.
Diluc did the same for him after all, just in different ways.
Now, his protectiveness seemed to have only grown. Diluc is a woman, but the projections of what she should be like from the outside were still the same, so Kaeya felt an instinctual desire to fact-check a loooot of people in a not-so-kind way, even more than he did before (of course that wasn’t a thing he would actually do, since he respected Diluc’s wishes to handle these situations herself)
As Kaeya finished contemplating his protectiveness for Diluc, she managed to regain her composure enough to pull out of their hug and wipe the remaining tears from her face.
"Wow, I didn't expect to get so emotional, I don't think I've cried so much when I told Childe.", Diluc said thoughtfully and slightly surprised.
"Wait, so Childe knows already?", Kaeya asked, and then mock gasping, "You told her before me!"
"Well, they kind of helped me discover it and supported me when I was questioning myself, so I didn't plan it. Though they are the one I live with and see most on a regular basis besides you, and they're very laid back about it.", Diluc explained. "Also, they go by They/Them pronouns now."
"Okay seriously how many important revelations have I missed since the last time I visited?!", then Kaeya sighed dramatically, "But oh well, I guess they're not a nuisance all the time then, gotta give them some credit for that.", Kaeya answered sassily.
"Stop being butt-hurt about it, Kae. You're still a close second.", Diluc rolled her eyes, even if there was a small smile on her face.
"Okay okay, I will overlook this betrayal for now but I will have to beat Childe at something else for this."
"I can't believe you're making even this part of your competition.", Diluc sighed, exhausted.
"Especially this! After all, if they get more in your favor than your very own brother, it would be absolutely appalling!", the younger one put the back of his hand against his forehead to underline this dramatic sentence.
"Then you're not gonna like that they took me shopping just earlier today.", the redhead added.
"Diluc! Have they put a curse on you or something? You never wanted to go shopping with me!", Kaeya shook his sister's arm and pouted again.
God, Kaeya really lived to annoy Diluc, didn't he?
"Hm, I guess it was simply because I was shopping in the wrong section that I never liked it much..."
"Well now that you've found the right one, I'll take you shopping sometime as well! I'm sure I have a way better sense for fashion than that devil does.", Kaeya was back to being sassy.
"Yes, yes, I'll let you take me then, if you stop being a brat.", Diluc sighed.
The blue-haired man looked like a cat that got the cream, "Great, I can text you when I'm free sometime this week."
Then his phone vibrated in his pocket and he checked it, "Oh shit, I have to go," he got up from the bed and started walking towards the door, "It was nice talking to you, sis.", he donned his usual cunning smile once again, but Diluc saw there was more genuineness behind his words.
Diluc got up as well to escort her brother to the apartment door, but he stopped just short before leaving, "Oh right, I also came here to tell you that Father is planning to have a meeting with you on Friday. He'll probably contact you himself about it but I just wanted to give you a heads-up, though I don't know what it's about.",
Diluc processed that information, "Aha... well, thanks for telling me, Kae. See you soon."
Kaeya nodded, "See you." and then left the apartment.
A meeting with her Father...
It wasn't too strange, they had lunch together whenever they managed it, meaning about once a month, but Kaeya's voice sounded a bit more... concerned? than that.
Well, it wasn't any use thinking about it too much when she doesn't know anything about the reason, it was probably just an ordinary meeting like any other.
With that, she made her way back to her room to take care of some schoolwork.
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Diluc ended up studying until 3 am.
Aaand she also ended up worrying about that meeting from time to time, so she decided it was probably best if she just went to sleep, but before she did that she got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen.
Coincidentally, Childe was also there with a glass of water in their hand.
They looked up and noticed Diluc entering the kitchen, "Oh, hey."
Diluc, tired as she was, just gave an acknowledging hum and went to the sink to fill up her glass, then leaned against the counter when it was full and took a sip.
"I came out to Kaeya.", she broke the silence because, for some odd reason, she had the desire to speak to her roommate even at this late hour.
"Really? How did he react?", Childe seemed interested though, so they couldn't mind the late-night talk too much.
"He was very supportive, which I expected would happen...but it still feels like a big relief that he knows now.", Diluc smiled into her glass.
Childe smiled right back, "Nice, I'm glad."
Diluc nodded her head lightly, figuring out if she should tell Childe about her nervousness about the meeting, or more precisely – the meeting with her father.
I mean, who better to tell than your roommate who's also listened to all your concerns about your gender? And also it was overtired Diluc thinking, so why not?
"Also... Kaeya told me that my father wanted to meet me on Friday, and to be honest I'm a bit nervous about it.", Diluc said eventually.
"Oh, why?", Childe tilted their head, probably thinking the conversation was over.
Diluc sighed, "I haven't told you much about my Father, and I don't know how much you know from the media, but he is a rather... conservative man. He's very old-fashioned and business-oriented, so it's just been on my mind if I should… tell him about- uhm, you know..."
Childe nodded empathetically, "Mhm, parents can be tough. I remember my mother almost fainted when I told her I'm a lesbian. She came around though.", Childe snorted, and Diluc's mood lifted a bit.
"Anyway, maybe you could try observing his reactions to the topic, in general, to figure out if he would take it well, but most importantly, you can take your time coming out to him. You don't have to right away if you're unsure.", Childe stepped forward and rubbed Diluc's arm while smiling reassuringly.
Diluc felt instantly lighter, and she had to turn her head away from that look in those deep blue eyes.
"Thank you, for the advice.", she muttered.
"Anytime, comrade.", that smile as bright as the sun will eventually blind Diluc, she's sure.
They both retreated to their rooms after that, and Diluc could sleep a little less plagued by her thoughts.