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The green-eyed man stood before him now, and yet.. he didn't see him. He was different. So different from who he once was, and yet, so similar.
How could he forget ?
Those sleepless nights under the stars the encircled the Xianzhou ships, as they quietly sailed through the endless stellar seas of the vast cosmos ?
How could he forget ?
Those eyes, so warm once, now so cold and desperate.... so unrecognizing ?
How could he forget ?
A promise made on a warm spring morning, between two souls, so naïve and young, so unaware of the cruel hand Fate would deal them ?
The stars can shake and shatter, but I will never leave you
The bond between a group of five, once thought to be so unshakable. How could he forget ? He forgot everything else, his own name, his own face, his own identity. After all, what use does a blade have of any of that ?
But he never forgot him. He could never forget him. Those eyes, so bright and beautiful, now so desperate and fearful. That hair, so long and lustrous, now shorn short. Some scars cannot heal... some changes are not reversible. Yingxing.... no, Blade knew that.
And as he stood before the young man... his last hope fell away from him, shattering into a million pieces. How could you forget ?, he wanted to scream, How could you forget me ?
Except he didn't have to ask. He knew why. Back then, he had thought.... he had hoped that the man had escaped. Somehow, someway, Dan Feng was alive. But now he knew. Dan Feng was dead. This man, sharing part of his name and face.... was not him.
Dan Feng was gone. What was he meant to do now ? His shining star. His bright moon was gone. There was nothing to guide him home anymore. There was no home anymore, not without Dan Feng.
So Blade did what he had always done. He hardened his heart, and sealed away his soul. His eyes opened, a bloody red, and he chuckled bitterly, desperately trying to hide the pain inside him. His anger bubbled beneath his skin, rising to the surface. After everything he had lost !! After everything he had done !! To be told that his beloved was gone... would never return !!
He summoned his blade to his hand and began speaking, uncaring of the words spewing from his mouth. He didn't care anymore. Not about anything. Because nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered without Dan Feng
He leaped into the air, bringing the blade crashing down onto the man, hesitating only slightly as he saw the man summon a green-shafted spear to defend himself. The spear had a word carved onto the part joining the shaft and the blade.... Moon. It was familiar, so familiar. Of course it was. Blade carved it there himself
Your true self... Reveal it !!
It was pointless shouting at him. Blade knew. But how could he simply give up hope ? How could he simply accept that his beloved... that the man he loved was gone ?
Another blade intercepted his, knocking him back. There was someone else here ? Oh yes, Jing Yuan's little dog. He had almost forgotten, so engrossed had he been with the man who so closely resembled his beloved.
The sword danced forward, only to be intercepted. What ? That blade-strike was calculated to perfection !! It should have hit ! Why didn't... And that was when he saw it. Jing Yuan's retainer now stood there, with a half-circle of blades floating behind his back. That moveset...
He screamed in his mind. The wounds of a thousand sword-strikes flaring up across his body
Remember this pain. Show them this pain
Remember the feeling of this death at my hands, these thousand deaths, and bring it to them
Pain flared up throughout his form , and hate filled his mind. He remembered... how he had begged and wept and screamed for death then, as the blade kept falling, kept piercing his flesh. How he had screamed for an end, an end that never came . How the Shard Sword, forged with his own hands, that was once an inky black, with a sheen of sanguine... became so soaked through with his blood that it became a brilliant crimson
Who had he to blame ? None but one man. Who had given him this immortality ? None but one man.
His image flashed before Blade's eyes again, and he screamed internally in rage, flinging his sword at the young man, who looked so much like the man he loved hated. The blade struck true, and pierced the young man's chest clean through. The man gasped and staggered backwards. For a moment all was silent. Hope rose in Blade's heart
Had he miscalculated ? Was it possible ? Could it be that Dan Heng was not his beloved ? That his beloved... was alive ?
Then the man's body lifted into the air, and water gathered around it, and once again, his hopes crashed to the Earth. He laughed bitterly at the shock on the little retainer's face. Did Jing Yuan hate them so much that he had never bothered to even tell his retainer about them ?
The stars will fade, but this group, the High-Cloud Quintet, shall never break !!
But they had. They had all left.
He still remembered them. Everyone. Though they had teasingly remarked that he only seemed to have eyes for Dan Feng, he cared for them all
He remembered Jingliu, warm and motherly, as she trained them with precision and firmness
Jingliu, mad and raving, as she drove the sword into his chest again and again
He remembered Jing Yuan, joyful and happy, as he released paper lanterns into the sky, laughing as he did so
Jing Yuan, cold and unforgiving, as he sentenced his beloved to rebirth and incarceration in the Shackling Prison
He remembered the Foxian girl, whose name still eluded him, even now, 1600 years later. She used to tease him about forgetting her name
The Foxian girl, horrified at the sight of Blade
And.... most of all, he remembered Dan Feng. He remembered countless nights drinking beneath the moon and stars, countless nights loving and being loved.
He remembered a gift given. A gift of immortality, that quickly became a curse, both to Dan Feng, who was punished for this grave sin, and to Blade, who quickly came to regret it
He laughed. What else could he do ? For one so broken as he, there was little to do but laugh at the world, for if he didn't, he would surely weep.
He saw the ball of water break, and a dragon emerged from it, roaring into the sky. So familiar. So unfamiliar. He remembered, the draconic spirit of Dan Feng, who carried in him the will of Long, the Permanence, and yet, the spirit was... different somehow. Younger than Dan Feng's.... almost, as if... it had been reborn
The final nail in the coffin then. Dan Feng was dead
The transformation completed itself with a burst of blue energy. The light faded, revealing.... Blade's breath caught in his throat. That long, flowing hair.... those elegant, almost-ethereal clothes.... and most damning of all, the coral-like horns emerging from his forehead, inherent in every Vidyadhara. Could it be ? Was it possible ?
And then those eyes turned to him, and his hopes fell again. As cold and unknowing as always. Dan Heng may have retaken Dan Feng's form to heal himself.... but he was not Dan Feng. Not anymore
He closed his eyes, deep breaths escaping him as he calmed himself. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, only to be evaporated by his intense rage, that was rising ever-steadily. The Mara within him thrashed and hissed, responding to his anger.
Have I not done enough ?!!, He wanted to scream at the universe, at the Aeons, at whatever cruel god had decided his fate when he had been born, Have I not worked, and begged, and suffered !!
He fell to his knees. Distantly, he could hear Jing Yuan's retainer.... Yanqing, if he remembered correctly... fighting Dan F-Heng. Even more distantly, as if from another cosmos, he could hear the Mara, hear his rage, shouting at him, hissing and spitting as it always had, telling him to fight, to unleash his rage, but he didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Not if Dan Feng was not there with him.
A sword clattered to the ground in the distance, signaling the victor.
Footsteps approached him.
He lowered his head, as if preparing for a beheading. He said, in a voice hoarse with unshed tears, "If you're going to kill me, do it quick"
And Dan Heng's voice sounded from somewhere above him, so unfamiliar and yet so, so heart-achingly familiar, "Kill you ? Why ?"
He raised his head, looking into the man's eyes, "Because... because you should hate me. Because I hurt you. Because... because..."
"And yet I don't"
"What ?"
"I don't know who you are. I have to be honest. I am not Dan Feng. I do not have his memories, nor, I am aware, his personality, but some things... never go away, no matter how many times the soul changes it's sheath. I don't remember you... but I remember a young man, who lay beside me in a garden within the Luofu, and watched the stars with me, and swore to me that he would never leave me. I understand if you hate me, but please...", Dan Heng bent down low, grabbing Blade's hand, and bringing it to his lips, "... give me another chance ?"
For the first time in over 1500 years, Blade... no, Yingxing, smiled, a bright, genuine smile, and though it hurt him to do it (apparently that battle had opened up some old wounds), grabbed Dan Heng's hand, bringing it to his lips, as he used to do with another man, so many centuries ago, and whispered, "Yes"