Work Text:
Unknown Number
August 10, 3 am
Unknown Number: Changed my mind about the treacle tarts. I just can’t.
Draco: Can't say I blame you. What would you prefer?
Unknown Number: ?
Unknown Number: Idk, anything but those
Unknown Number: and THOSE iykwim
Draco: I agree about the treacle tarts
Draco: and probably the unmentionables
Unknown Number: Have U been hexed? Why do U sound...so weird?
Draco: Whatever do you mean?
Draco: All I’m saying is, I agree with your taste in confections
Unknown Number: not funny
Draco: Sorry?
Draco: Anyway, treacle tarts have never been on my list.
Unknown Number: Stop it
Unknown Number: You literally said “maybe it’ll help mate, let me get you treacle tarts already.”
Draco: What are you yammering on about? I would never say anything so prosaic.
Unknown Number: Plus, you’ll eat anything
Draco: I happen to be very particular with my culinary habits.
Unknown Number: wtaf
Unknown Number: Stop trying to sound like him
Draco: Like who?
Unknown Number: ur a real git, u know that?
Unknown Number: Just get whatever. Even McGonagall biscuits would be better.
Unknown Number: but I may not let u back in
Draco: Interesting. That sounds sort of kinky.
Unknown Number: Ok I'm definitely not letting you back in.
Unknown Number: Is this some sort of joke your brother put you up to?
Draco: I don't have a brother
Unknown Number: Now your scaring me.
Draco: Ok, let me put you out of your misery
Draco: I have no idea who you are. You texted the wrong person
Unknown Number: I what?
Draco: Unless I’ve been sleepwalking, I’m pretty sure I’m not on my way to the bakery.
Draco: Especially not for treacle tarts OR McGonagall’s biscuits.
Draco: I’d be going to L’eclair Patisserie for eclairs if anything.
Draco: And maybe chocolates.
Unknown Number: Wait
Unknown Number: Who the hell IS this??? 🤨👀
Draco: Temper.
Draco: I'm someone who apparently needs better security for his new Mobile.
Draco: It figures this muggle device would have its drawbacks.
Unknown Number: So your a wizard?
Draco: Brilliant deduction. What a relief to know I’m chatting with someone who at least has a modicum of intelligence.
Draco: Though he needs help with his grammar.
Unknown Number: We’re not exactly *chatting.*
Unknown Number: I don’t know how your number ended up in my contacts, but...
Unknown Number: I’ve only just started using one of these things
Draco: On second thought, I take back my comment regarding your intelligence.
Unknown Number: I knew u didn’t sound like my roommate…
Draco: Yet you keep texting me.
Unknown Number: Maybe I’m just somehow wooed by the uppity posh way you talk?
Unknown Number: *text
Draco: Don’t flatter yourself. I’m uppity with most everyone.
Unknown Number: Let’s see.
Unknown Number: UR an uppity wizard
Unknown Number: who sounds like a toff
Unknown Number: and prides himself on eating cream filled pastries from “L’eclaire Patisserie” in the middle of the night.
Unknown Number: And sometimes chocolate.
Unknown Number: Reminds me of someone.
Draco: Fascinating. And here I thought I was one of a kind.
Unknown Number: Maybe u are
Draco: Are we *chatting* now?
Unknown Number: Brilliant deduction, genius.
Draco: Prat. They’re called eclairs. At least I’d never willingly purchase McGonagall biscuits. Hogwarts Headmasters are where I draw the line.
Unknown Number: So you also went to Hogwarts. Not a question, just stating a fact
Unknown Number: cause I’m that smart
Draco: You’ve set the bar pretty low.
Draco: I’m going to go ahead and say you’re not a Ravenclaw.
Unknown Number: No, but apparently I’m smarter than…hang on a second.
Draco: ???
Draco: We could just call this a night.
Draco: Why am I waiting, again?"
Draco: Maybe I'm just wooed by your limited vocabulary
Unknown Number: Dammit. My roommate came back with a bag of treacle tarts.
Unknown Number: I blame you.
Draco: I think I saved you from the horror of consuming the beloved Headmaster’s biscuits.
Draco: Though I agree the treacle tarts are most unfortunate.
Draco: You really aught to try eclairs.
Unknown Number: Treacle tarts were my favorite.
Draco: That's it. We're done.
Unknown Number: I haven't had them for a week. They remind me too much of my ex
Draco: If your ex liked them, maybe you're better off.
Unknown Number: He hated them. We used to argue about them all the time, and you know what THAT leads to ;)
Unknown Number: I just can’t eat them anymore.
Unknown Number: Know what I mean?
Unknown Number: Told my roommate he could have the whole bag, and he’s already wolfed down half with a big smile on his face.
Unknown Number: U still there?
Unknown Number: My ex and I always ended up at “L’eclair Patisserie”
Draco: WHO. IS. THIS???
Unknown Number: Maybe we should play 20 questions?
Draco: Bloody hell.
Unknown Number: We can only ask yes/no questions to try and guess the person, place, or thing.
Draco: Yes, I’m aware. I used to play with MY ex.
Unknown Number: In this case, let’s try to guess who the other is.
Draco: Actually, I’m not sure I want to know.
Unknown Number: It’ll be fun.
Draco: I doubt that.
Unknown Number: You go first.
Unknown Number: I’m WAITing.
Draco: Fine. You're a wizard.
Unknown Number: Yes
Draco: Is your ex a wizard?
Unknown Number: Yes
Draco: Were you in Gryffindor?
Unknown Number: Yes
Unknown Number: ,/b>Have U guessed already?
Draco: Were you the seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team at Hogwarts around five years ago?
Unknown Number: Yes
Unknown Number: I’m impressed. That was only four questions.
Unknown Number: Hope UR still there
Draco: I don’t know WHY someone with your mathematical ability was never in Arithmancy.
Unknown Number: I suppose it's my turn now, but I'm sure I know who you are.
Draco: I'm not finished. Do you miss your ex?
Unknown Number: I haven’t eaten a treacle tart, or, you know, since we broke up.
Draco: Yes or no, do you?
Unknown Number: I’m deferring. Ask me later.
Draco: You’re assuming there’s even going to be a later.
Unknown Number: Hoping there will be.
Draco: Did he break up with you?
Unknown Number: No
Draco: So you broke up with him?
Unknown Number: No. Well, sort of.
Draco: Are you incredibly BAD at communicating??
Unknown Number: Probably
Draco: Did you cheat on him?
Unknown Number: No. I didn’t.
Draco: Are you a LIAR?
Draco: I'll rephrase. Does he have good reason to think you did?
Unknown Number: This was supposed to be fun.
Draco: Unbelievable.
Draco: I never had much fun playing it. MY ex always beat me.
Draco: Probably because he’s a cheat.
Draco: Yes or no. Does your ex have good reason to think you cheated on him?
Unknown Number: I sort of told him I did.
Draco: You’re saying you lied.
Unknown Number: I only agreed when he asked me.
Unknown Number: But yeah, I lied. It never happened.
Draco: WHY in Voldemort’s hell would you lie and let him believe you cheated??
Unknown Number: That’s not a yes/no question.
Draco: Fuck the GAME, and fuck you, you absolute BELLEND, why would you?
Unknown Number: It hurt like hell when he accused me.
Unknown Number: I should have just said so, but I wanted to hurt him back.
Unknown Number: The look on his face told me I had made a horrible mistake, but when he said he never wanted to see me again and stormed out, I foolishly let him go.
Unknown Number: I’m so sorry. It’s complicated. I’m a terrible communicator, remember?
Draco: You’re a lot of terrible things.
Unknown Number: Not all bad, I hope.
Unknown Number: I hope you don’t really think that.
Unknown Number: I'm sorry.
Draco: Last chance, do you miss him?
Unknown Number: Every day. It’s been miserable without him.
Unknown Number: My roommate is ready to drag me to the Janus Thickey ward.
Unknown Number: I miss him right now, especially.
Draco: I think he should tell you to get lost. Have you slept with anyone since your ex?
Unknown Number: Merlin, no.
Draco: Why should I believe you?
Unknown Number: If I was sleeping with other people, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
Unknown Number: Besides, how would I possibly move on after him?
Draco: What did your ex like?
Draco: What did he LIKE?
Unknown Number: Eclairs
Unknown Number: He called me mon éclair. It means “my flash of lightning.”
Unknown Number: It was our
Unknown Number: pet name
Unknown Number: for…
Unknown Number: U there?
Unknown Number: Anyway.
Unknown Number: I've had a craving for eclairs all week.
Unknown Number: I’ve always loved them, and still do.
Unknown Number: Love how they tasted. How my ex used to feed me their creamy filling. The chocolate touch was always nice.
Unknown Number: The cry of “mon eclair” from his lips when I came for him. I still hear it every night.
Unknown Number: How he made me feel inside.
Unknown Number: Alive. He always made me feel alive
Unknown Number: How’s that for communicating?
Unknown Number: U there? I don't blame U for leaving
Draco: Stupidly, I'm still here
Unknown Number: I’d like to talk more about what happened
Unknown Number: Want to meet me at the all-night place in half an hour? It’ll be on me. Please?
Draco: I don’t meet liars in the middle of the night, and I especially don’t share *eclairs* with them.
Unknown Number: I understand. I broke your trust. I’ll be waiting for you anyway.
Draco: Your misfortune
Unknown Number: If you don’t show up tonight, I’ll be waiting tomorrow
Unknown Number: And the day after that
Unknown Number: And next week
Unknown Number: Next month
Unknown Number: I’ll wait for you
Unknown Number: as long as it takes
Draco: Maybe I’ll show up some day. Maybe I won’t.
Unknown Number: I’ll take my chances. I miss you
Unknown Number: Je t’Aime
Unknown Number: ton éclair
Pans
August 10 8:45 am
Pans: Hello, darling. Just checking in.
Draco: Morning, Pans.
Pans: You feeling better today? Did you sleep?
Draco: Not exactly.
Pans: I hope the miserable “P” knows how lucky he is to be alive.
Pans: I’m a broke record, but he’s not worth it, Draco.
Draco: About that
Draco: I have something to tell you
Pans: Please tell me you haven’t done anything stupid.
Draco: Does having a text conversation with him constitute being stupid?
Pans: What? You exchanged contact info with him???
Draco: It started with a text from an unknown number.
Pans: And you answered? What did I tell you about those?
Draco: I was bored.
Pans: Oh, Draco. I'm sorry, darling :(
Pans: So how did you know it was him?
Draco: We played 20 questions.
Pans: Not that!
Pans: Draco, you dear idiot.
Pans: How did that stalker even get your number?
Draco: It was an accident. He didn’t know it was me at first.
Pans: Sure. 🙄
Draco: He really didn’t.
Draco: Thought he was texting Weasley.
Pans: That seems highly unlikely
Pans: I hope you told him to bugger off before blocking his number.
Draco: Meet me for lunch? The usual place and time.
Pans: Sure, darling.
Pans: You DID block his number, right?
Pans: Please tell me you blocked his number.
Pans: If you didn’t block his number, I’ll kill you!
Pans: Draco?
Pans: Draco!
August 10, 9 pm
Pans: Have you blocked his number yet?
Draco: Of course.
Pans: Are you lying?
Draco: Of course not.
Pans: Draco. Please.
Pans: What he needlessly put you through was horrific.
Pans: Close the door on him.
Pans: This is his loss, not yours.
Draco: I’ll try to remember that
Pans: And for Merlin’s sake, avoid the patisserie like the plague.
Draco: I have no plans to go back.
Pans: Good.
Pans: Oh, and for my own peace of mind, let me know when you’ve actually blocked his number.
Pans: Goodnight, darling. Sleep well.
Draco: Thanks, Pans.
BlockMe
August 17 12:05 am
BlockMe: Just want you to know I still miss you.
BlockMe: I’ve been waiting at L’eclair all week
BlockMe: I’ll be waiting tonight
Draco: Who is this?
BlockMe: I know that u know it’s me.
Draco: I should report you for harassment
BlockMe: Do you have my contact saved as “miserable git?”
BlockMe: Scarhead?
BlockMe: Or, most accurately, “biggest idiot on the planet who let the best thing in his life get away?”
BlockMe: Anyway, I’ll be waiting
August 24 3 am
BlockMe: Looks like ur still avoiding me
Draco: Brilliant deduction
BlockMe: At least you haven’t blocked me.
Draco: Something I should remedy immediately.
BlockMe: I haven’t been sleeping.
Draco: Your sleeping habits don’t interest me.
Draco: I, myself, have never slept better.
Draco: That is, when I’m not woken up by cretins.
BlockMe: I’m glad ur sleeping, Draco. Truly.
BlockMe: You still there?
BlockMe: I miss you.
August 25 2:10 am
BlockMe: Ron is threatening to call a mind healer.
Draco: Salazar
Draco: It’s 2 in the morning
BlockMe: He still says he wants to take me to Janus Thickey, tho he's mostly joking. Actually, I think he almost seems sad for us if you can believe it.
Draco: As far as I’m concerned, that’s where you both belong.
BlockMe: I know u don’t mean that.
Draco: Do you also know it’s rude to keep waking somebody up?
BlockMe: I was hoping you’d be awake.
BlockMe: This is the time we’d have our talks and eat eclairs.
Draco: Stop texting me in the middle of the bloody night.
BlockMe: Sorry
BlockMe: I just really miss you.
10 am
BlockMe: I really am sorry for waking you earlier.
BlockMe: Hope you got back to sleep.
Draco: For fucks sake.
BlockMe: Just thought I’d try at a decent hour
Draco: I’m busy, Potter
Draco: What makes you think I want a text from you at ANY time?
BlockMe: You sort of implied that I could
BlockMe: And you still haven’t blocked me
BlockMe: not that I want you to
BlockMe: please don’t
Draco: My mistake
Draco: Stop. Texting me.
August 30 10:30 am
Draco: Potter
Draco: You REALLY sent me an owl?
Draco: Asking to meet at the patisserie?
BlockMe: U said to stop texting
BlockMe: I'm really happy your wards are still open to me
Draco: I...
Draco: You have absolutely no sense of self preservation, do you?
BlockMe: At this point, Ron tells me I have no sense at all.
Draco: For once I agree with him
BlockMe: I have u saved as “Mon Amour”
BlockMe: U have no idea what getting ur text did to me.
BlockMe: Does this mean you’ll meet me?
BlockMe: I really want to see you.
BlockMe: Draco?
Draco: When I told you I never wanted to see you again, I meant it
Draco: Do you hear me?
Draco: I want no eclairs, no patisseries, and no Potter.
BlockMe: I should’ve never let u walk out the door. I should’ve held on and never let go.
Draco: It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?
BlockMe: No. I think what we had together is worth fighting for.
BlockMe: Don’t you?
BlockMe: Merlin knows we’re good at it.
BlockMe: The fighting that is
BlockMe: I mean we were good at other things too.
BlockMe: I guess I mean everything.
BlockMe: Draco?
Draco: Merlin. I really hate you, you know that?
BlockMe: If u really mean u never want to see me again, I promise I’ll stop bothering u.
BlockMe: But I’ll never stop wanting you.
BlockMe: Draco?
BlockMe: I’ll be waiting one more time at L’eclair around midnight.
BlockMe: If ur not there, I’ll respect that u really mean it’s over for us.
BlockMe: You won’t hear from me again.
BlockMe: But I don’t want it to be over.
BlockMe: It’ll never be over for me.
BlockMe: I really hope to see you, mon amour.
BlockMe: Ton Eclair
Pans
August 31 8:45 am
Pans: Good morning, darling. I have news.
8:50 am
Pans: Draco, U awake?
8:55 am
Pans: Well, if you're sleeping, good.
Draco: Um, no, not sleeping.
Pans: Listen, I did some sleuthing. You're not going to believe what I found out.
Draco: Can it wait till after breakfast?
Pans: Thanks to my detective skills and some big mouths, I found out how P ended up texting you by *mistake.*
Draco: You don't say?
Pans: Would you believe it was his ginger-haired git of a roommate?
Draco: Hmm.
Pans: Apparently the freckled toad got your number from Weasley senior who has a directory, and switched his number with yours.
Draco: Impressive.
Pans: I'm fuming! I thought you'd be angry.
Draco: Who knew Weasleby had it in him?
Pans: Tell me you've at least blocked his number.
Draco: Pans...
Pans: You STILL haven’t blocked him??
Pans: I'm going to keep pestering you until you do.
Draco: Pans...
Pans: Please say you aren’t texting him.
Draco: About that….
Pans: Draco. Please, no.
Draco: I have something to tell you. Meet me for lunch?
Draco: Btw, I'm having eclairs for breakfast.