Chapter Text
“Shit,” Felix groans. He glares down at the empty bottle in his hand as though that would magically make it not empty.
He was out of suppressants.
Usually, Felix planned better than this. Usually, he stayed on top of it, used it only as needed, and made sure to stock up on another few month’s worth before he actually ran out.
But their schedule had been hectic as hell lately, and he’d been flying through suppressants faster than ever before. It used to last three days. Now, he’s lucky if he gets 12 hours before his scent starts to come back.
It’s not…entirely out of left field. Felix had been warned, ages ago, that his body could develop a tolerance to suppressants over time, and that the more stressed or anxious he was, the quicker it would leave his system.
Still, he’d never actually, properly run out before!
“Fuck,” he growls. His hands are shaking as he rakes them through his hair, eyes clenched shut so he doesn’t have to see the wreck of his own reflection. The bathroom feels suddenly much too small, his breath coming in short, shallow bursts as he fights to keep the panic at bay.
They’d been shoved through the ringer recently as they promoted their new song, performed on music shows, and prepped for award season. Between filming varieties, appearing on radio shows, shooting promotional material, prepping for award shows, and keeping up with their vocal lessons, studio time and dance practice, the Stray Kids boys had barely had room in the day to even think about sleep let alone actually get any.
He’d gotten sloppy. Had let it slip from his mind over and over and now here were the consequences staring up at him. He needed to f ix this , but he couldn’t think of a single moment he had available today (or tomorrow, or the next day) to slip downtown and meet up with his supplier.
“Hey, Lixie, you almost ready? Van will be here soon.”
Felix jerked as Changbin’s voice came through the shut bathroom door. He opened his mouth and nothing came out but a croak, so he swallowed hard, cleared his throat, and mustered up the strength to say, “Coming” loud enough for the older boy to recede back down the hall.
He looked down at the counter. The bottle was still empty.
Felix hadn’t been off suppressants since he came to Korea. Not once in the entire time he’d known his members. They didn’t even know he was an omega.
He was so totally fucked.
***
Sometimes, Felix loved his job. It was a dream come true, and it made him feel like he was on top of the world.
Other times, though, it made him feel so low he thought he’d sink right through the floor and keep on falling forever and ever, nothing to hold onto and no one to hear his screams.
He didn’t feel quite at the level right now, but he certainly didn’t feel on top of the world.
“Ughh, anyone else feel like death?” came Seungmin’s voice. Seven groans answered to the affirmative.
God, Felix was exhausted. It had been 41 hours since he had taken his last suppressant and the difference was already shocking.
Even with his eyes closed, Felix only needed to take a breath in order to know where each of his members were and what they were feeling. The mash of alpha, beta, and omega scents threatened to consume him, overwhelming in their intensity as the tired members relived themselves of the scent blockers they usually wore for work.
Stray Kids was a decently well balanced pack. Three alphas, three betas, and two omegas. Or, well, two betas and one omega-pretending-to-be-a-beta. It wasn't perfect on paper, but it had worked brilliantly for them right from the start.
Not all k-pop groups were packs, even unofficially. Being an idol was a job and your members were your coworkers. For all they presented themselves as being super tight knit, there were plenty of groups that were just playing it up for the camera.
Stray Kids had always been close, though. Even predebut, they had leaned on each other. In many ways, their relationship made life easier for them and their company. Chan could be given the same burdens that a typical pack alpha would have alongside his normal leadership responsibilities.
This was a lot easier than was the case for many groups. Some groups didn’t have a pack bond at all, and that made it hard for a single person to represent them. Some groups had members claimed by outside packs who wanted to weigh in on things the companies didn’t want outsiders seeing. Some groups had leaders who weren’t the actual leader behind the scenes which caused an odd tension for the members who weren’t sure who to look to.
Chan was both the group leader and the unofficial pack alpha. It streamlined the decision making process by a lot since JYP only had to consult a single person. The boys had long since made the choice to let Chan have the dual roles.
At debut, Chan had gone through the steps to make himself the legal guardian of all the underage members. Chan was still listed as an emergency contact for every single member as well as being listed as the legal alpha of both Hyunjin and Jeongin. JYP, for all the power they held, would have to consult Chan for any major decisions they made about the group and especially about those two.
It was a lot of pressure to put on a twenty year old. But Chan had taken to it like a duck to water. Felix knew they were lucky to have him. Felix was lucky to have him.
And he’d been lying to him for years.
“You with us, Lixie?” Jisung's voice breaks through his thoughts. It was four in the morning and Felix had been off suppressants for almost two days. His brain was like slush.
They’d just come back from a photoshoot. Luckily, it was at the company building so not too far away. Unluckily, it had ran over time and left the boys feeling drained and exhausted. Since varieties and music shows had set times for filming, any work the boys did for the company or their own promotional material was done in whatever leftover hours were available.
Oftentimes, those ‘leftover hours’ were after midnight. Sleep was generally considered optional for idols. They survived on a series of cat naps gleaned from car rides, makeup chairs, and studio couches.
“Lix, buddy, you alive?” Chan prompts.
No, Felix wants to whine. He manages a halfhearted “mmh” instead.
“Come on, Lix-ah,” Jisung says. “We can shower together and save some time.”
Shower…together…
Felix is halfway down the hall, Jisung’s hand loosely gripping his wrist, before he remembers what a bad decision that is. He slams to a halt, Jisung jerked back slightly, and stutters out an excuse for needing to shower alone. He can tell the beta is confused, but he gives in and lets Felix slip into the safety of the bathroom by himself.
It’s been 41 hours. Felix feels like he’s falling apart.
Yesterday, as the suppressants wore off, he could smell his typical orange blossom scent growing stronger. It was…off. Wrong in some way. Omegan scents were often sweet and light. The kind of scent you wanted to wrap around you like a comforting blanket.
Felix’s scent was rotten and stale. Like flowers that were left wilting on the counter for too long and finally dumped in the trash. It was awful, and he’d gone digging through Jeongin’s toiletries to find some blockers to slap on and cover it up.
And it wasn’t just his own scent he could smell. It was everyone else’s as well. Felix knew, intellectually, that the suppressants were dampening his sense of smell. However, he hadn’t realized by how much. It made his head hurt and his stomach twist with nausea.
The shower helps breathe a little life into him as he closes his eyes and lets himself focus only on the feel of the warm water, the smell of his shampoo, and the sound of the drain. After he towels off, he peels the sticky patch from his scent gland and wraps it in toilet paper, shoving it to the bottom of the trash and replacing it with a dry one.
He doesn’t realize he’s just been standing there, breathing in the clean cottony scent of his towel, until a knock sounds on the door. “You almost done?” Jisung calls. “Can I come in?”
“Um. J-just a minute!” Felix quickly spins around, panicking slightly when he remembers he forgot to bring pajamas in with him. Usually, he’d march right down the hall to his room with nothing but a towel on his hips.
But then they’d all see the patch. Betas don’t need to wear scent blockers, their scents are so subtle to begin with. Cursing under his breath, Felix grabs his dirty undershirt and pulls it back over his head just in time for Jisung to knock again.
The beta’s brow is pinched with worry when Felix slings the door open. “You alright?” he asks.
“Fine. Just tired. Sorry for taking so long.” Felix tries to hustle past, but Jisung doesn’t move, eyes raking up and down Felix’s body. His nose wrinkles and Felix nearly feels his heart stop.
“Why are you wearing that dirty shirt? You just showered.”
“Oh, uh, I didn’t bring any clothes in here with me.”
It’s a horrible excuse and Jisung knows it. “Felix…are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been kinda off all day.”
Felix knows he has. It’s been agony having to work all day. His anxiety is at an all time high with the knowledge that he’s out of suppressants, and the sudden influx of pheromones that he never used to pick up on was doing weird things to his head. Plus, he felt so tired.
“I’m fine,” Felix says. It doesn’t sound very convincing. “I want to go to bed.”
Jisung sighs but finally moves aside and lets him pass. Felix takes the win, hurrying down the hall until he’s safely within the confines of his own room. He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his racing heart, and yanks the dirty shirt off before collapsing on his bed.
It smells like him. Rotten. He can’t say he likes it.
Despite the bone aching exhaustion, Felix feels himself slide back off the bed, some itchy feeling under his skin making him move. He barely has the energy to stay standing, but he starts messing with his sheets, pulling and pushing and arranging the blankets and pillows. He rustles through his closet, fabrics being brought to his nose and sniffed and discarded.
His eyes are barely open, his movements slow and sluggish. It’s four in the morning and his brain's full of fog. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t realize what he’s doing. Felix falls asleep in the middle of his bed, a hoodie clutched to his chest, and his last conscious thought is that, somehow, it smells a lot better than before.
***
“Lixie, wake up! You’re not going to have time for breakfast.”
Was he asleep? Felix was pretty sure he was dead.
A long groan rumbles out of him as he shifts, his nose digging further into the soft fabric in front of his face. He doesn’t open his eyes, just lets himself swim slowly to the surface of consciousness as he takes stock of his body.
He’s sore. Very very sore. Like- what the hell were they doing in dance practice yesterday to make him this sore? His head hurts and his throat hurts and his stomach hurts. He feels too hot, but he can’t bring himself to move from the relative comfort of his blankets.
“Lixie! I’m coming in! You need to get up!”
Who was talking? Felix tried to tell them to go away but no words left his mouth. There was a creak, a few soft taps, and then a sudden weight that signified a new body on the bed.
That woke him up a little. A tiny shiver of energy sparked in his blood as his mind raced to figure out who had just joined him. He didn’t even have time to tense, though, before the scent of sweet, rosey lavender washed over him.
Hyunjin, his mind whispered. Felix’s body sinks down into his mattress without even opening an eye. Hyunjin is fine. Hyunjin can come into his nest.
“Felix?”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Felix’s eyes pop open and he shifts into a sitting position so fast his vision blurs. In front of him, Hyunjin jerks back, eyes wide. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Felix’s heart is pounding, his tongue too thick in his mouth as he swallows harshly. He’s a bit sweaty, and his throat feels dry. He blinks several times before he can finally see well enough to process the mess he’s sitting in.
The sheets and blankets have been torn from the mattress and shoved into a haphazard circle with Felix in the middle. The bare corners of his mattress glare accusingly at him from where they’re blocked off by pillows and piled up clothes. There’s a hoodie clenched in his right hand that he belatedly registers as belonging to Chan.
Fuck. Felix is nesting. He hasn't done that in years.
“Felix?” Hyunjin says again. He’s still sitting on Felix’s bed, watching him with worried eyes. “Are you okay? Were you having a bad dream?”
If he were smart, Felix would nod and take the out. Felix is not smart, however. Felix is panicking. He gasps in a single choked breath and tears spring to his eyes.
“Whoa, hey, Lixie, it’s okay.” Hyunjin surges forward, hands coming up to tug Felix into a hug. The omega isn’t wearing scent blockers, hasn’t put them on yet, and Felix’s head swims and his stomach flips over when his nose ends up right by the older boy’s gland.
Rose and lavender. It’s such a pretty scent. Not sickenly sweet like some omegas. It’s sophisticated and elegant and utterly Hyunjin. Felix sucks it in in desperate gulps as he wheezes and shakes. He’s going to throw up.
“Breathe, Lixie, breathe. Like this.” Hyunjin takes large, exaggerated breaths, his chest pushing against Felix’s own as he runs soothing hands up and down Felix’s back and pumps out a calming rush of lavender. He knows the omega is trying his best to calm him down, but it isn’t working.
“I- I’m gonna-” Felix gags and slams his mouth shut, shoving weakly at Hyunjin’s shoulder. His legs are tangled in blankets, and he can’t move. “Hyun-” he manages before he gags again, and thankfully his wonderful member gets the hint.
Felix feels air rush past as he’s yanked to his feet and across the room and he knows he isn’t going to make it to a bathroom. His deskside trashcan just barely makes it under his chin in time for him to start retching, his whole body heaving as he coughs and chokes and vomits up everything in his system and then some.
It’s disgusting. He feels like utter shit, the acid burning in his throat. Snot joins the tears on his face as he sobs, his hands trembling as he tries to keep from tipping over. Someone is talking to him, but he can’t make out any words.
Eventually, there’s nothing left to come up. He just sits there, shaking and crying and trying not to breathe in the scent of his own puke. The trashcan magically floats away, and Felix keeps crying.
“Breathe,” a voice cuts through the haze. “In your nose and out your mouth.”
He tries, he really does. He doesn’t know who’s talking, doesn’t know if it’s the same person whose hand is holding his shoulders or rubbing his back, but he wants to listen to them. He wants to do what they say.
“That’s it, Lix-ah, you’re doing great.”
Is he? His lungs feel less like they’re caught in a vice, but he’s still trembling and sore. His stomach clenches uncomfortably and his head pounds to the rhythm of his racing heart.
“Here,” the voice comes again. Felix’s eyes crack open just enough to see a blurry hand holding out a cup of water. “Rinse and spit.”
He does as he’s told, swishing water around in his mouth to try and get rid of the awful acidic taste. The cup disappears and then is quickly replaced by another one. “Take a few sips, slowly.”
The voice is nearly as soothing as the smooth slip of water down his parched and aching throat. Felix clings to it, his mouth open as he pants. He takes another deep breath in through his nose, trying to hold it for a few seconds before shakily letting it out.
“Good boy, that’s it. Just keep breathing.”
A hand presses against Felix’s forehead and he can’t stop himself from leaning into it. It feels deliciously cool against his sweaty and overheated face. Another palm rests on his cheek and he sighs. He takes another sip of water, eyes again closed.
“He’s running a fever,” someone says. It’s not the voice from before, but it’s similarly familiar. He doesn’t bother looking. It’s a safe voice, one that he knows doesn’t mean him any harm.
The adrenaline is fading, leaving him feeling wobbly and limp, like a soggy towel that’s been wrung out but isn’t quite dry. He’s still too hot--or maybe too cold?--and while his stomach has settled some and his throat feels better, he still feels like utter shit.
“Felix? Babe, can you open your eyes for me?”
That’s another new voice. So there’s a least three people in the room. His brain is foggy and slow, but Felix manages to follow the instructions and pries his sticky eyelids open until he can see who it is.
Minho. The alpha is crouched in front of him, his hands cupping Felix’s cheeks gently. There’s worry swimming in his eyes, but he gives Felix a reassuring smile when he sees him watching.
“There you are. Not feeling too good this morning, are you?”
Felix shakes his head and lets out a pitiful whine. He can’t even feel embarrassed. He just wants to go back to sleep.
“Shhh, I got you.” Soft thumbs run across Felix’s wet cheeks. One hand removes itself and grabs a soft rag that Minho uses to wipe up the mess on Felix’s lips and chin and under his nose. “Do you want to go back to bed?”
Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what Felix wants. He nods, legs squirming as he tries to get up.
“Okay, easy, take it slow. Let hyung help you.”
A pair of strong arms comes around Felix’s shoulders and pull him up into an embrace. He sways, legs almost giving out, but the arms keep him steady. Minho leads from the front as Felix is practically carried the few feet to his bed. He flops onto the messy sheets, boneless and aching.
Minho fills his vision once again. “Chan-hyung is going to call our manager, okay?” A tiny pang of alarm shoots through Felix and must show on his face. Gentle fingers card through his hair. “It’s alright. You have nothing to worry about. Hyung’s got it covered.”
With a tiny nod, Felix sinks back into the sheets, feeling oddly floaty and detached. His arms move, fingers searching for something even as his eyes fall back closed.
“Watcha looking for, Lixie? I’ll get it for you,” a voice calls. That’s Hyunjin. Felix’s brain is soaked in clouds, but he’s at least a bit more aware of where he is and who he’s with now. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, though. Does Hyunjin know?
Another whine escapes Felix’s lips, his eyes opening again as he pouts down at his messy bed. It’s a disaster. It feels wrong. He doesn’t like it. He whines again.
“Lixie? It’s okay, hey, let me help.” Felix doesn’t even realizes he’s shoving ineffectually at the mess until Hyunjin’s hands gently push his away. The omega starts to rearrange, prodding Felix’s legs until the younger boy is curled in a ball with two pillows propping him up. He watches as Hyunjin huffs under his breath, gaze flitting across the room as he tosses clothes onto the floor and pulls blankets closer.
“Hyung, what-” Oh. That’s Jeongin. Jeongin’s here. Something about that, knowing the younger omega is in the room and seeing him like this, makes a gross slithering coldness flood Felix’s chest. He's supposed to be the hyung.
“Innie can you go grab the blanket from my room? The blue one, you know what I’m talking about. And that purple dinosaur you love?”
Jeongin seems a little confused by Hyunjin, but he slips out the door anyway, and Felix feels a little better knowing he isn’t watching anymore. Hyunjin is still messing with his bed, and the voices in the hall sound like Chan and Minho. So then-
“Here,” a new voice comes. “Felix, can you open your mouth for me? I’m going to check your temperature.”
Changbin leans over the bed, holding out a tiny thermometer. Felix does as he’s told, waiting for the beep, and watches dazedly as Changbin hums and moves towards the door. He exits just moments before Jeongin slips back inside, this time bringin Seungmin and a handful of bedding with him.
By the time the three alphas come back into the room, Felix is leaning against Seungmin’s chest, the beta singing softly as the two omegas tuck blankets around them. There’s a heavy purple dinosaur on Felix’s chest and he’s very close to falling back asleep.
“Lix-ah, hey, stay awake for hyung for just a moment,” Chan says. Jisung slips from behind the wall of hyungs and crawls into bed as well, Hyunjin huffing as he disturbs a couple of pillows.
“Don’ feel good, hyung,” Felix groans. He wants to reach out and tug the alpha closer. Wants to burrow into that broad chest until Chan is the only thing he can see or hear or smell.
“I know, baby, I know. Manager’s on his way over. You’re running a fever. Nothing serious, but you've probably caught a bit of a stomach bug.”
“Sorry,” Felix whispers.
“No, no, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Hyung’s just worried.”
Felix didn’t mean to make his alpha worry. He didn’t want that.
Minho speaks up next, but it’s not Felix he’s addressing. “What on earth on you two doing?” he asks.
Hyunjin doesn’t stop from where he’s picking up Felix’s hoodies one by one and sniffing them. “Fixing his nest,” he says simply.
The other hyungs turn to look at him, too now. “His…nest?” Changbin says.
“Yes, hyung, his nest. It’s a mess.”
Jeongin nods rapidly in agreement, clearly on the same page as Hyunjin. Something warm and content wrestles with something dark and panicky in Felix’s chest. Seungmin presses a kiss to his sweaty temple and he lets the warm side win.
“Jinnie, Innie, Felix doesn’t nest like you two. He doesn’t care what it looks like,” Jisung says. His voice is fond and amused.
A snort leaves Hyunjin at the words. “Well, he clearly didn’t like it how it was, so I’m fixing it.” He finally finds the hoodie he’s apparently been looking for, the same one Felix had in his grasp when he woke up, and he smiles triumphantly as he hands it to Felix.
“Hey, isn’t that mine?” Chan speaks up. All three alphas look vaguely concerned as they take in the scene. Felix buries his nose in the soft fabric, inhaling deeply as Chan’s thunderstorm scent washes over him.
Perhaps if they'd had more time, if they all weren't exhausted from the night before, someone would've put it together right then and there. There's a calculating look on Minho's face as he eyes the younger members, and he seems like he's about to say something before he's interrupted.
A ping sounds, and Chan’s phone lights up. “Oh. Manager is about five minutes out. We all need to be ready to leave.”
Frantic looks are passed around. “Leave? We can’t leave. Felix can barely stand!”
Their alpha grimaces, typing quickly. “Felix is being allowed the day off, but the rest of us need to go about our schedule like normal. Manager’s orders.”
No one looks pleased by that. “Hyung, we- we can’t leave him like this.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I tried my best, guys, but we’ve all had sick days before.”
It’s true. On more than one occasion they’d been forced to leave someone behind for the day. It wasn’t easy, knowing a sick packmate was being left alone, but they had a job to do.
“I don’t know, this doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t just feel like a stomach bug.”
Chan sighs, eyes raking over Felix’s slumped form. The younger Aussie can tell the alpha doesn’t like what he sees. His brain is a beat behind, but Felix picks through the last few minutes of conversation to understand what’s going on.
“‘M fine,” he grumbles. He pushes a weak hand against Jisung at his side. “You c’n go. ‘M just gonna sleep.”
The scent of stormclouds grows as Chan kneels in front of the bed and lays a hand on Jisung’s head. “You sure, Lix-ah? Do you still feel like you’re going to throw up?”
Felix shakes his head. His stomach hurts but not in a nauseous way anymore. The scent of Chan’s hoodie is much more relaxing and tolerable than Hyunjin’s overwhelming omega scent had been as soon as he woke up. He loves Hyunjin, but it had been just a bit too much.
“Go, hyung. I’m tired,” Felix says. A part of him desperately, desperately wants his members to stay. A part of him wants to drag them all onto the bed and tuck them around him, curling into their warmth and breathing in their love.
But Felix is a bit more awake and a bit more aware than he was when he woke up, and he thinks he knows what’s going on now. He’s in preheat. Miserable, awful, preheat. Complete with cramps and nausea and a pounding headache and a low grade fever.
His hyungs aren’t idiots, and the scent blockers he still has on under his sleep shirt won’t last forever. If they don’t leave, his years-long charade will fall apart within the hour.
Chan seems more than a little reluctant to leave, but he finally ushers everyone else out to finish getting ready. Felix stuffs down the whine that tries to escape when Seungmin slides out from behind him. He curls up in the nest his members have made, Chan’s hoodie clutched in one hand and Hyunjin’s dinosaur in the other, and drifts slightly as the boys rush about the apartment.
Someone comes in and leaves several items on the nightstand. A clean trashcan is set next to the bed. Soft fingers run through Felix’s hair and a kiss is pressed to his forehead.
“Your phone is right here, Lix-ah. If you need anything at all, make sure you call. Nothing we’re doing is live, and I will answer right away, okay?”
Felix must manage a nod because he gets another kiss. “Feel better, baby. We’ll be back before you know it.”
The person leaves, and Felix drifts some more, and the next time he opens his eyes the apartment is dead silent. His members are gone. Felix is alone.
And Felix is in heat.