Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - Please Remember Me
You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
It wasn't fair.
Frenchie supposed that was just life, but Izzy dying in another man's arms, the same man that had caused them all great pain in every way imaginable, was too much. He hid his face behind Black Pete and listened to Izzy's final words to Edward, wishing he could look at the man he had begun to love during their months of torture from Blackbeard.
There wasn't much time after Izzy's funeral before they were all headed back to the ship to hold Lucius and Pete's wedding. Not a single moment to grieve. He was so happy for his friends, but Frenchie's heart was shattered. It didn't help that he was promoted to Captain with a random vote-in by his even more random crew. And one strange seagull that for some reason, Edward decided was Buttons and therefore, allowed to vote as well.
"How the hell am I supposed to be the Captain when I feel like I'm about to throw up all the time?" He questioned Wee John, an hour or so after Edward and Stede announced they'd be staying behind, hence the vote in the first place.
He had technically been Blackbeard's second in command, so it was only logical for Frenchie to step into his place, though he would have preferred Zheng to call the shots. He was still in too much pain and probably would be for a while. Revenge was the only thing that gave him a glimmer of hope.
He didn't understand why Izzy wasn't buried at sea, but another part of him was glad that he'd have a place to return to when he finally killed the asshole who took away such a promising future.
Izzy didn't deserve that.
He was finally at peace with himself. With his new disability.
With Frenchie.
Why didn't Izzy get to have a happy ending? He was caring and protective. He loved Bonnet's crew in the end and made sure they knew it by falling on the sword for them more times than any of them could really count up to.
"The best damn unicorn to ever exist!" Roach had exclaimed when they all had drinks in Izzy's honor after the wedding.
Zheng was the perfect choice for his second in command, of course, but she refused to take the Captaincy, wanting to focus on her new relationships, especially after watching her friends die from Barnes' attack. Frenchie supposed he could understand that.
She also felt like Frenchie deserved a shot to (literally) steer the ship to get revenge for his lost love.
"The Revenge is quite the perfect name for this barnacle bucket." She had said when they had a moment alone on deck just as the sun was finally setting.
"W-what?" Frenchie stammered, blinking back tears that threatened to fall. He wished Izzy could see the sky right now. The pinks and purples reminded him of Calypso's birthday, the night the two of them decided to throw caution to the wind and find their own piece of peace.
"Revenge. I tried to convince Bonnet and Blackbeard to help us get it, but I guess they had other plans. Still no idea why they think an inn is going to make them happy. Sounds like a fucking nightmare." Zheng winced, leaning on the railing beside Frenchie, thinking about how her own experience with customer service had many lows. At least there was always Oluwande to break up the monotony or to make her smile when a customer said her soup was 'too spicy.'
She couldn't help but be angry for Frenchie. He seemed too depressed to be angry himself, so she decided she'd take that burden for her new Captain if need be. Until they were finally face-to-face with Barnes again, anyway. Then she'd encourage Frenchie to tear that motherfucker's head off with his bare hands.
He just seemed so tired, though. His eyes looked like they'd been crying for days and not just hours.
"Oh." Frenchie didn't know what else he could say without his voice giving away his grief. He knew he wouldn't be judged for breaking down, but it wouldn't bring Izzy back. Nothing would. The lump in his throat would just have to stay for now.
"Listen, as your Quartermaster, just know that I'm here to listen. I know we barely know each other, but until we find Barnes, we have time to rectify that." She gave Frenchie a smile and patted his shoulder. "He was more to you, wasn't he? Hands, I mean. I'm not trying to pry, but I heard through the grapevine that the two of you--"
"Yes." He answered abruptly, swallowing around that dreadful lump that felt more and more like swallowing dry bread while dying of thirst. "We--we were just figuring things out before--" Before that gunshot rang out and changed everything. Before Frenchie turned around and watched Edward and Izzy hobbling across the sand toward him. Before Izzy died with only parting words for a man he was just slowly getting over with every private kiss he shared with Frenchie.
"Yeah." Zheng nodded, looking back out at the sea, sighing in order to take a calming breath in of the salty air. While it helped her, she knew that nothing would heal Frenchie better than giving Barnes what he deserved: a bullet.
"I'm too tired to even be angry." Frenchie confessed, confirming what Zheng had already suspected. "Izzy was angry enough for the whole crew, I think. Seems like the smallest people hold the most anger. What's up with that?" He chuckled, finally feeling one of his tears slip down, landing on the ship's railing in front of him, but he had turned to face the woman and was smiling so that was a pretty good sign, she supposed.
"We're more compact so we're more wound up, I assume." She joked, giving a shrug. "He'd be proud of you, you know? I mean, I didn't know him either, but I think he'd be pretty stoked that you're leading the charge to fuck up the weasel that took him from you."
"I'm doing this for you and Auntie, too, of course. He took way more people from the two of you." He answered, his voice calmer than it had been all day.
"But not a lover." She looked over her shoulder to watch Olu and Jim cranking the wheel together after relieving Lucius and Archie an hour before.
"It wasn't like we were married." Frenchie bit back, trying to convince himself he had no reason to be so upset about Izzy's demise, but his brain wasn't taking the fucking hint.
"You could have been, one day." Zheng regretted saying it the minute the words left her mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry. That wasn't helpful." Now she was the one with the lump in her throat. Frenchie was good people. She didn't want to be the cause of more hurt while the wound was still so fresh.
"It's fine. I guess I'll never know." His throat stung again and the tears were welling up like before.
"It's been a long day. I think I'll go for a short nap if you don't mind taking over for a few hours." Truth be told, his whole body ached from putting Izzy in the ground and trying to hold it all together for Fang who was probably more heartbroken than Frenchie. He was sensitive, which was actually rare to see in a person in their line of business.
Maybe Fang wouldn't have to cry alone tonight.
"Sure thing, boss." Zheng gave a smile and watched as Frenchie went to find where Fang had escaped to in order to see how he was doing. It seems he had cried himself to sleep, though, Wee John putting a finger to his lips to keep Frenchie quiet while he played with his doll in his hammock.
Frenchie would have loved nothing more but to curl into Wee John's bed and cry into his chest, but he needed to get it all out and it wasn't going to be pretty or quiet.
Frenchie found one of the secret rooms Stede had once put Edward's 'Guilt Treasure' into and felt his chest tighten to the point where he could barely breathe.
He sat on the bunk and finally let go.