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Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. This scales used here are somewhat based on "Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving"
There was no way Fern was in love with Stark!
Just no.
In the first place, the relationship between Fern and Stark could be easily explained as "party members" or even "travelling companions".
It was even hard to say if they could be considered friends, not that Fern had too many to compare to.
Their first meeting was not a meeting of fate or destiny compared to how the Hero Himmel met the mage Frieren or as childhood friends like with the hero party's priest. Even the joining of the warrior Eisen was more interesting than how Fern and Stark met.
While Fern would admit their relationship wasn't the best in the beginning, after the many battles and adventures they had together, it would be disingenuous to say they were strangers in the same path.
Yes, there were birthday gifts, dances, and dates thrown in there somewhere but should such a small number of ambiguously friendly events really dictate years of long platonic neutral acquaintance?
Fern did not believe so.
Basically:
"There is nothing special going on between Stark-sama and myself. We just happen to be party members, that's all."
Such were the words Fern had to a random stranger in the middle of a stroll.
And to think, it started out as such a beautiful day too.
After travelling for a few days, the trio of Fern, Frieren, and Stark found themselves passing by a relatively large merchant village, closer to a city. As it provided a crossroad between the empire and multiple cities in the south, it provided a hub for many passing by merchants.
When the three decided on an inn to stay at, they went with the usual two bedroom where Stark slept on a provided couch. It also came with a small kitchen area for minimum cooking.
The moment they stepped in, Frieren announced she had something to check and wouldn't be back in a few days. Before Fern could inquire more, her elf master had already left in a hurried excitement.
This wasn't something uncommon and the two disciples had long since gotten used to the older elf's whims so just did what they could to pass the time.
Mainly training and studying, really.
Any nervousness of a single man and woman staying in a room together had long since faded away when they had to do just the same when camping out in the wilds.
Yes, they both left the inn at the same time and both usually arrived back together by the end of the day, however, Fern had her own priorities while Stark just went out to what the mage assumed to be training so it wasn't like they were together the whole day.
Some days, they walked together, bought groceries, or ate out, but most of the time they stayed separated until they had to retire for the night.
In short, when a random girl stopped Fern one morning to ask if she was Stark-sama's lover, the mage understood where this stranger got that idea from.
According to this girl whose name Fern did not ask, a "handsome red-haired warrior" had saved their family caravan from some monsters by the outskirts of the village. The young girl had been impressed by his strength as well as how he did not ask for a reward.
So, for the last few days, she has accompanied Stark during his training, gifting him food or water. This was the first Fern heard of this.
However, on some days when the merchant daughter tried to find him, she found the warrior paired with the long haired woman she had just approached. Worse was when she noticed the two often arrived at the same inn at the same time.
So, gathering her courage, she approached the unknown woman today and wanted to ascertain the full picture of the situation. Just to make sure no homes were broken into, so to speak.
The girl was small and cute, the type men like Stark-sama would want to protect. Compared to Fern's plain simple dress, her clothing was vibrant and clearly made of high quality material. Her childish face held a charming expressiveness, with sparkling eyes and a wide sunny smile when she recounted her encounters with her hero.
Regardless, Fern had no reason to not give the truth to this stranger who she had never met before yet was someone who looked to be interested in Stark-sama.
Fern's answer immediately lit up the girl's eyes with relief and excitement. After a thank you, the girl left to probably wherever Stark-sama probably was leaving Fern along with any semblance of a good mood.
This was only natural because who wouldn't be upset when a stranger walked up to them and asked about their love life? It was an intimate topic that Fern was forced to answer because Stark-sama couldn't keep it in his pants.
The mage had a full day planned yet all she could muster was a quick visit to the book store before holing up in their inn room. At least this time, she wouldn't be seen coming back with Stark-sama.
The worst part of this whole experience was Fern felt like the girl had made an assumption that it was Fern who was in love with Stark-sama not the other way around.
After all, wouldn't it have been easier and faster to just as Stark if he was already in a relationship instead of a stranger?
It was an outrageous humiliation. As if, this girl already assumed Stark-sama wasn't into her and just wanted to spare Fern's feelings.
Fern didn't even know she existed until this morning.
It was bad enough when people she knew misconstrued Fern and Stark's relationship but it now felt like even people on the street were looking at them as such.
She could ignore the knowing smiles from Frieren or the tired assumptions from Sein but Fern did not want to be stopped on the street and asked about such an obvious question ever again.
Thus, she knew she had to prove without a shadow of a doubt that she didn't have any feelings for Stark-sama at all.
Unsurprisingly, there was no such grimoire that contained a spell that could do so but she did find the next best thing.
"Scales of Love by Head Doctor A."
The book was a popular collection of love stories with a common theme of tragic love. It even contained quite a few controversial pairings including between different species.
Fern did read through a few of them for the rest of the day and found the anthology to be a mixed bag.
She enjoyed one story involving two apprentice mages working together to defeat a demon who has spread lies between the two but could not get into the one involving a romance between two warriors who shared the same master.
There was even one between a female hero and a handsome demon general with the main obstacle of their love being a nosy male elf mage who constantly got in between the two enemy turned lovers.
However, none of the stories really mattered to Fern as the biggest selling point of the book was that it also contained a psychological test that could tell the reader if they had feelings for a person or not.
The book even hyperbolically claimed the Head Writer A. had spent over 500 years researching and perfecting this test.
The test was quite simple, made up of only eleven items. The reader only had to think of their romantic interest in mind then choose if the situation was "Not Applicable", "Not so Applicable", "Somewhat Applicable", and "Strongly Applicable".
The more items that were applicable, the more likely it was that the reader would be romantically interested at their target, er, person of choice.
Objectively speaking, all Fern had to do was prove she was not in love with Stark and hopefully the rest of the annoyances would follow along.
Now that she was mostly done reading, Fern would be able to thoroughly prove that she didn't have any special feelings for Stark-sama
Q1: If Stark-sama looked to be not feeling well, my first duty would be to make cheer him and or make sure he is okay.
Starting off with an easy one.
Of course the answer was "Not Applicable."
In the first place, Fern couldn't imagine Stark looking sick at all. There was a saying that idiots didn't get sick and the dense warrior was a clear example.
Fern was also no doctor. If it was healing spells, then in an emergency Frieren-sama would be better. Or an actual priest like Sein in case it was a curse. There was that one time he had been bitten by a snake and Fern couldn't do anything about it.
Everyone in the party had their roles and Fern was not the healer.
"...Phew"
Hearing a tired sigh, Fern looked up from her book to the other person occupying the room. "It's bad luck to keep sighing like that, Stark-sama."
Indeed, the warrior had been sighing for quite some time ever since he had arrived back to their inn's room. Like Fern, he had returned earlier than usual, around the afternoon, with a troubled look on his face.
Of course, she had ignored him the whole time but he started doing exercises by himself anyways.
"Sorry, Fern," apologized Stark. "There's just been a lot in my mind recently so training hasn't been going well."
She bet. Was he too distracted by all the cute girls fawning over him?
Well, not that she was watching, but he did look particularly sluggish when doing his exercises.
"All Stark-sama does is train anyways. You should take a break." Fern paused. "Did something happen?"
"Nothing too big," Stark shook his head. "I fought some monsters recently and keep being reminded of how far I am from being called a hero like my Master was."
His master, of course, had been once known to be the strongest warrior of his time. Not something easy to live up to.
Fern took one look at the self-depreciating smile on Stark's face and made a sigh of her own.
"Here."
"Huh?"
Fern scooted to the edge of the couch she was sitting on and pointed to her lap.
"You can rest here for now. There's no point in training if you're this tired and distracted, right?"
"Right but..." Stark's eyes went from Fern's lap to the nearby bed. Her expression was as serious as ever. "Can't I just use the bed?"
"Those are for Frieren-sama and myself." Not that the missing elf had a chance to use hers yet. "Stark-sama usually sleeps on the couch so you should just continue to do so."
"Then why don't you just move?" was a question the warrior was not brave enough to ask.
"Uhhh...okay." After hesitating for a moment, Stark made his way over to Fern's side then slowly lowered his head on her lap.
There was an issue regarding the, uh, view so he immediately closed his eyes when he got settled in.
This spot was usually Frieren's too and it became obvious to him why the elf fell asleep on it.
It was soft yet warm. Comforting.
"...suuu..."
Without having to wait, Fern heard the soft breathing of the sleeping Stark. She didn't understand why he had to hold back when, with how fast he feel asleep, it was obvious how tired he was.
"Stark-sama is as hard headed, as usual..."
He was always like this whether in deciding where they should eat or even in fights when told to do something out of the norm.
Indeed, anyone who would want to look after a hesitant man like this must have been a true weirdo or a hopeless woman.
With a small huff, Fern went back to the quiz. For the time being, the first item was definitely "Not Applicable".
A good start to disproving these accused feelings.
Feeling better than she did in the morning, Fern stroked the tufts of red on her lap as she turned her attention to the next item.
Q2: I would do almost anything for Stark-sama
Nope.
There was no way Fern would ever think that about Stark. Nay, for anyone really.
Such a thing was completely impossible.
Immediately, Fern checked the "Not Applicable" box.
There was a saying that love was blind but Fern couldn't believe such devotion to a person possible. While love could be Eternal, there was no way it shouldn't be subservient.
Even Heiter-sama, the closest thing this world had to a saint, wasn't as charitable as to do anything for a person.
In other words, she could say with certainty that this item did not apply to her either.
"Hmm...Fern?"
"Oh, you're awake Stark-sama?"
Fern looked over from the small kitchen counter to spot the once sleeping Stark sit up with clearly eyes.
When what was supposed to be a brief rest turned into a long nap, Fern had extracted herself and cleaned up the room a little. She made sure to put away the jacket he had tossed aside during his training as well as the heavy axe the warrior had left lying on the floor.
After rubbing one sleepy eye, Stark took a sniff, noticing a meaty smell in the air. One that stimulated his empty stomach.
"Are you cooking something, Fern?"
"Yes. I did not feel like going out today so I decided to cook some stew. I made enough for the both of us so could you fix the table?"
"Sure." Stark got up from the couch and made his way to where they kept the plates and utensils. "Sorry, I left all the cooking to you."
"Then please take me out someplace tomorrow."
"Sure, sure," agreed the red-head without much thought. "Maybe, that place with the burgers? The one near the south of the gate."
"If that's what you want, then I'll leave it to Stark-sama."
Once the table was set, Stark, with nothing better to do, simply sat on his side of the table and watched the apron-clad Fern stir the meal within the boiling pot.
Of course, this didn't go unnoticed. After giving the broth a quick test, the mage sent a glare at her observer.
"It's rude to stare."
"Sorry." Usually, this was the time for a flustered Stark to look away but, this time, he didn't and kept his gaze. There was a kind smile on his face matched with eyes filled with warm nostalgia.
It was an expression that Fern had seen on Frieren-sama multiple times.
"It's just...you look good in that apron."
"...Flattery won't get you more meat, Stark-sama."
Fern turned her attention back to the food before her. She had to finish cooking this faster even though she could feel the heat of the boil reach her face. Fortunately, all that was left was to mix some spices to adjust the flavor. Of course, this was because she too was getting hungry, and not due to being conscious of the person watching her.
She also peeked down at the apron she had worn, a bright green cloth with a floral design. It came with the kitchen so it wasn't Fern's choice. They usually didn't bother wearing one when cooking outdoors so placing this on was just a whim.
"...I didn't mean it as flattery, though."
...due to the oddly loud boiling, Fern definitely didn't hear his words.
Q3: I would like to have Stark-sama all to myself.
Fern had to re-read this one.
Did this mean like a slave or a prisoner? Then immediately the answer was "Not Applicable".
However, the statement most likely did not mean to go as far as to physically bound the other person. In other words, this was more to check the reader's desire for possessiveness.
Being raised by the priest Heiter, Fern mostly knew relationships to be between two people, that of a marriage blessed by the Goddess. She did not know the circumstances of Stark's village, if they allowed multiple partners, but it wasn't a top far-off to believe it held the same monogamous standards.
Therefore, if Stark-sama wanted to have a wife, he would most likely choose a single woman to marry
In summary, the desire to monopolize the other person was also connected to the acceptance of having them as a life partner, possibly through marriage (according to the Goddess' teachings).
Going with this new understanding of the question, Fern still believed the answer was still "Not Applicable". So, whichever way she twisted the statement, it was still a big no.
The mage had not the slightest desire to monopolize Stark-sama through physical means or matrimony.
The best evidence was the current situation where Fern and Stark were eating alone by themselves but she didn't think this was that much preferable to a situation where Frieren-sama was eating with them.
Fern was silently sipping her extra large bowl with the book across her on the table as Stark ate his with a spoon, making light conversation with himself.
"Just where could Frieren be? It's been days since we've seen her but there's no point in worrying about someone that much stronger than me."
"...hmm."
"Speaking of which, I hope Master is doing well. It's been a while since I've seen him so maybe I should send a letter."
"...huh"
"...I wonder if we'll run into that Kraft guy again."
"…"
Just what was this?
Do you really like the sound of your own voice that much, Stark-sama?
"Ah, now that I think about it, didn't Sein send a letter recently-"
"Hey, Stark-sama?"
"Hmm, what's wrong, Fern? Do you still want more?" Stark paused as he eyed the absurdly large bowl Fern was using which was double the size of his own.
Fern did not reply, instead choosing to look away while she took in more food. The more she listened to Stark rant about other people, the feeling of boiling water bubbled from the bottom of her stomach and it wasn't her cooking.
The warrior's manners were just truly unpleasant.
Wasnt it common sense to praise the one who cooked the food before anything else? And yet, Fern had only heard the passing names of others. It was true that the party usually just got to eating (Fern was guilty of this as well) but it was also true that Fern was the only one who did the cooking this time.
It was just human nature to feel some dissatisfaction
"...?" And as expected, Stark-sama looked to have no idea how had put her in a bad mood. He was still a man who lacked delicacy after all.
"Hmph!" Ignoring the confused Stark, Fern went back to eating the food she had worked hard on.
Seeing that his partner was clearly not in the mood for talking, Stark went back to eating the food before him. The broth was creamy with a hint of salt that he knew Fern had a preference for. The meat also melted on his tongue while the vegetables were soft to bite but not too mushy.
"You know, Fern this is really delicious. You'd make a really great mom."
"!?"
"Oy! Are you ok-Ow! Don't kick me!"
Just when he thought she had choked on something, Stark in immediately felt a sharp pain on his ankle. Fern had obviously kicked him even if he didn't know why.
"It's because of what Stark-sama said," retorted a glaring Fern as if that was explaination enough. She then looked away, going back to the book she was reading.
Stark could only sigh. Was it something he said?
When he was younger, his father and brother would often leave for days long monster hunts which only left the younger Stark and his mother by themselves. He distinctly remembered sitting at the table as he watched the apron-clad woman cook. It was one of the warmer memories of a past gone by.
For a moment, Fern's image had brought those long gone feelings of home back.
Maybe, it was rude to call her a mother? He knew Frieren did not like being called Grandma so maybe it was the same?
Fern just ignored the distressed look Stark continued to send her. His earlier words rang through her mind, only emphasizing how there was no way she'd want to monopolize this guy who was loose with his words.
…but then again, was she not being too stubborn? She could almost hear Frieren-sama's patient rebuking.
While it was true she didn't care for marrying Stark-sama or anything, that didn't mean she was so indifferent as she thought he was a person she'd never marry.
For example, Fern would never marry a Demon even if she was threatened by death or they would be the last two people on the planet. If she thought about in those circumstances, Stark-sama would pass, barely, if she has no other choice.
Her mouth slightly curving, Fern answered the question as "Somewhat Applicable."
In that sense, depending on the circumstances, Fern would give Stark a chance just as anyone else would.
At the very least, he recognized good cooking. Even with the obvious bias, the food she had cooked tasted amazing. The broth was flavorful and the meat was tender.
With a nod, Fern turned her attention to the next statement.
Q4: If I can't be around Stark-sama, I'll feel extremely lonely.
What a ridiculous idea.
Fern was not a child. She did not get lonely when people left her alone, much less Stark. He was always going off training that it would be harder to think of a time when he was regularly around her.
She couldn't even give it some leeway through an alternate interpretation. This was definitely going to the "Not Applicable"
Knock. Knock.
A sound interrupted Fern's thoughts as she looked up to meet Stark's own surprised gaze. An unspoken exchange went between them before Stark got up and headed to the door.
The door opened.
"Frieren, just where-Oh, it's you?"
"Ah, Hero-sama. So I did get the right room. Apologies for the sudden imposition but I couldn't find you earlier in the day so I asked around. There's a request I'd like to ask of you...Sorry, is it okay if we move this from the doorway?"
"Oh. Then let's-" Years of training had the young warrior pause his words, sensing imminent death if he were to finish his intended sentence. "Actually, let me step outside."
The door closed.
For the time being, Fern was going to continue her meal in silence, just as she preferred. She couldn't help but feel annoyed, mainly from her hopes of the return of Frieren-sama.
Instead her expectations were dashed by an unknown person. None of what was happening outside had anything to do with Fern too nor did she want it to be.
[…]
[…]
Also, weren't they talking too loudly especially at this time at night? While she couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, Fern could still hear a muffled conversation going on from where she ate.
The higher pitched one of the two was excitedly talking about something to which a deep timbre would occasionally reply.
Did those two not realize this was an inn where some of the occupants wanted to rest in silence?
With a pout, Fern tried to ignore the noise and brought her bowl to her mouth. However, her food was somehow more bland than earlier.
"Huh?"
She took another sip but only found it to taste oddly distilled. Even the meat which has been packed with flavours earlier, now recreated the taste of bland tofu.
Fern even tried some of Stark's servings, taking a sip from his bowl without hesitation yet found it to be just as lacking.
Strange. Did all the taste boil to the top or did they leave with the heat? After all, food was better eaten hot which was something Stark-sama didn't seem to understand with how long was he taking?
Fern gave the door another glance only to see it remain as closed as ever. Just what could be talking about? If the request was this complicated, then that girl should've written it down on a paper instead of taking this long to get it through face-to-face.
[…]
Also, was that the same girl who stopped Fern earlier this morning? She looked the type to be talkative which matched Stark-sama who liked speaking so much during meals. They were probably exchanging so many stories that they didn't get to the point of why she arrived.
...Maybe he was so absorbed in talking that he forgot that his food and Fern were still here?
"…Hmph!"
Well whatever. The people Stark-sama talked to were none of Fern's business. She should instead get back to the important things and finish the test.
Q5: Whenever I'm alone, my first thought is to seek out Stark-sama.
No.
That has never happened.
In the first place, Fern did not mind being alone. While, yes, she preferred having a companion with her, her heart was not weak enough to constantly crave one.
Some days, she wanted to have a break from the rest of the world and be rid of any disturbances in her private time.
In fact, she had initially wanted to eat out by herself but she knew Stark-sama would feel too lonely if he suddenly woke up to an empty room. So Fern even went out of her way to include him in her cooking so they could eat together. So, it was really rude of him to ignore her kindness and give priority to outsiders.
Generally speaking, Fern was also busier than Stark was. Unlike him who could train inside the inn room or wherever there were cute girls around, Fern had to be particular where she could practice her magic.
Even though she had taken her time out of her hectic schedule to help him rest and cook for him, why didn't he take that into consideration? Fern just couldn't understand him.
"Not Applicable!"
Q6: One of my primary concerns is Stark-sama's happiness
Rather, he was always crying and complaining around Fern. She rarely saw him smile even when she tried to do something nice for him.
Oh, except, when small girls with expensive dresses and cute smiles came by to talk, there he sounded strangely happy.
"Not Applicable to the pervy Stark-sama. Next!"
Q7: I can forgive anything when it comes to Stark-sama.
"...Hah?"
Even if she was raised by the saintly Heiter-sama, that didn't mean Fern was an all-forgiving saint. Actually, no matter the context, such a forgiving person did not exist.
Did A.-san lose her head making this quiz? These statements were making less and less sense as they went on.
"Next!"
Q8: I find it easy to ignore Stark-sama's faults
Again! Just what kind of statement was this?
Stark-sama had so many faults that she couldn't ignore them if she wanted to like he was ignoring her. Not only was he dense and ignorant of a person's feelings, he was also a clear womanizer too!
Fern wanted to know how the people who actually answered these positively felt or if they even existed.
"Next!"
Q9: When I'm with Stark-sama, I often stare at the other person's face.
"Ne-" The moment her tongue left the top of her mouth, Fern paused. She had barely read the statement and had already decided on the answer.
Calm down,
She had to calm down.
In psychological tests like these, the taker's mental state could suspect the credibility of the results.
The purpose of doing this was to obtain an objective evaluation that she did not have any romantic feelings for Stark-sama. What was important was that Fern answered as she normally would and not when Stark-sama was in the middle of annoying her.
The distraught girl took a deep breath, had a sip of her cold soup, and tried to regain her bearings.
After taking a moment, Fern reread the question.
This was an unrelated tangent but, speaking from the most detached and disinterested perspective possible, Fern did think Stark-sama had a good-looking face.
Not handsome but it wasn't painful to her eyes.
His cheeks still held a bit of chubbiness but the overall features were sharply moulded from training. Also when they weren't scrunched up with tears in them, the steel in his eyes were practically magnetic.
That was just his face. As with all warriors, his physique was well-built so it wasn't like that part of his body would be a surprise.
Anyways, Fern wasn't even sure this was related to how attracted one was to a person. If she calmly thought about it, it was only human nature to follow an objectively attractive object with one's own eyes.
If a pretty butterfly passed by, Fern's gaze would naturally follow, just the same with Stark-sama's impartially handsome face. Rather than romantic, this was just a physiological reflex much like Stark-sama's own wandering eyes.
Of course, it wasn't even like Fern watched him over every waking moment. Just on the brief occasion when there was nothing better to catch her eye
Fern checked the "Not so Applicable" with a small smile.
Q10: I feel very happy knowing Stark-sama trusts me.
At this point, Fern understood there was no point in complaining how bad every succeeding question was turning out to be.
First, it's true that Stark trusted Fern. While they were only travelling companions, they had also fought together and thus had entrusted their lives to one another.
Fern could cast her spells without worrying knowing Stark was on the front lines to guard her.
And when she thinks about how Stark trusted his body and life to Fern, knowing she would follow up with a winning spell, then it was hard to deny the happiness and pride that welled up in her heart.
But, could not the same be said for other people? Whether it was Stark-sama, Frieren-sama, or a random town person, being trusted naturally brought positive emotions.
Perhaps the feeling between the two disciples was better described as "Trust". Fern found that made more sense than calling it something like "Love." She could now see how others could misunderstand looking from the outside.
That should be fine. A very fitting description of the relationship between Stark-sama and herself as two fellow disciples.
"..."
For the first time since she had begun this test, Fern checked a column on the right side. It was the only Strongly applicable'' she had chosen so far.
It was the first sign against Fern's insistence of having no feelings. However, there was only one item left so it felt like the conclusion had already been reached.
Q11: It would be hard for me to think of not being with Stark-sama.
That wasn't too hard to visualize. Stark had, in the past, cried and declared he'd run back to master Eisen. Even back then, Fern didn't take his declaration seriously.
Still, Fern tried to imagine the scenario where Stark-sama said those same words but only without his crying expression. How would she react if a serious Stark told her with full sincerity, "Please don't get involved with me anymore.''
Fern let out a sigh of relief, holding a hand to her chest. For a moment, she felt a tinge of disappointment but that just came with someone leaving the party like Sein-sama did.
In the end, what truly was going on between the two was nothing more than a result of circumstance. If the reason for their need to travel together disappears, then there would be no need to continue.
The true link between them was Frieren-sama who was a party member alongside both of their respective mentors. Both Fern and Stark didn't really have a personal end goal in mind besides to get stronger and learn throughout their journey to the elf's goal.
If Stark found another group he believed could get him stronger faster or that he had reached his limit with the current one, then it made sense for him to transfer out.
Plus, he didn't have to deal with someone like Fern who always gave him a hard time, made him cry, or called him an idiot. The same went for Fern who wouldn't have to deal with Stark's insecurities and complaints anymore. The situation would be overall better for the two.
Then that just about settled it.
"Huh?"
Something suddenly fell into Fern's lap.
"That's strange...Maybe it's a leak?"
The inn did look quite old. It made sense why such a large room cost so little, after all. But was it really raining now?
"I wonder why...The rain won't stop..."
The rain continued to fall, so thick that it covered Fern's vision. She tried to wipe the water away with her hands, but no matter how hard she rubbed, the downpour would not cease.
"Awful...W-why won't...it s-stop..."
It was just a figment of her imagination
It was just a hypothetical scenario.
Yet, even though Fern kept reminding herself of this over and over again, the Stark-sama in her head continued to say "I hate you, Stern."
She squeezed her eyes shut, as if that would stop the dripping but it only brought forth the cold glare of the imagined Stark-sama.
Every word he said brought unbearable pain.
Orange eyes devoid of their characteristic warmth distilled unbearable sadness.
Why?
Fern hiccupped, a shaky sound. "No..It's no good..."
The hand that rested at her chest now clutched it with desperation for relief.
Her head hurt so much it felt as if it was going to burst.
Her heart trembled from an awful aching that gnawed from within.
Fern felt so sad that she couldn't breathe.
She already knew, deep inside her, that one day the two of them would part ways someday. Her path as a mage and his mission as a warrior would naturally force them to seek different people.
What was there to be sad about?
Where did this suffering come from?
Why did it hurt her so much?
"Why...is it so painful...?"
Fern had overcome a lot of suffering in her life. She had lost her family followed by her guardian. She had been injured and even defeated in battles that left her white clothes bloodied red.
She should have gotten used to this sort of pain and sadness.
But why was it so hard?
...That Fern couldn't be with Stark.
Why did that one single thing feel so painful she couldn't bear it?
Because-
Looking at the results of the earlier test, it was clear Fern had no feelings for him. This was the very ending she wanted, right?
So why such did feelings arise now?
Why...
Because-
"...I'm not in love with Stark-sama."
AN: Yahello! I think this is a good week for Stern fans. It looks to be more popular with casuals so I decided to hop on especially with the dance episode. Also, apparently this is the 100th fic on Ao3 for the Frieren (manga) archive so congratulations to all. I hope I can see more than my own shoddy work in the future.
Fern is definitely more in denial here than in canon but, you know, she's never felt threatened in the manga (besides from Kraft?) so maybe she'll double down on her denial as in this fic or, who knows, she'll grab that flag immediately and put a ring in the boy. Sadly, it doesn't feel like Stark has feelings for Stern yet. That could be the exciting part, the moment he realizes them but for now he does feel like a typical Dense MC. Has red hair too.
Also, if you liked how this ended do not read the following Extra unless you want the fic's ending to be ruined
"Fern? You're still reading?"
Suddenly, Fern heard a familiar voice from behind her. She would have jumped out of her seat if her body didn't feel strangely weak.
Instead, she just turned to the source of her issues for the whole day. Hastily, she wiped her face with the sleeves of her outfit.
"S-Stark-sama. Ehem, You're back."
"Oh. Sorry, it took a while but it looks like you already ate ahead." Stark took a glance at the finished food with a wry smile. But when he turned back to Fern, his eyebrows scrunched with concern. "Your eyes are awfully red. Were you crying?"
Fern, unsure of how to reply, instead turned away. She also didnt want him to see her face like this. That did not deter Stark who observed the usually bored looking girl for any hints.
His eyes immediately caught onto the book she had been reading, still open on the table.
Without much concern for permission, he snatched it to take a peek on what could have moved someone like Fern to tears.
"Scales of Love?" He read the title of the book out loud. Even if he was dense, Stark could make a connection this obvious. " This was the reason you got all teary? A book with romance stories?"
It was a Yes but also a No.
Stark had actually hit it right on the head but not for the reason that he was probably thinking of and Fern had no reason to clear up such a misunderstanding.
"That's because...Stark-sama...is an idiot," replied back the still shaken Fern in between wiping away the tear stains in her face. She hurriedly composed herself. "You just won't get it."
"I guess not...," agreed a frowning Stark as he quickly flipped through the book. Admittedly, he was never the reading sort but seeing Fern crying shook him up.
Injuries in battle barely got a groan from her but a story was able to do this much emotional damage?
Looking through them quickly, a lot of them read like tragic love stories. "I didn't think Fern would be interested in these sorts of things. Or that they'd make her cry"
"Stark-sama is the last person I want to hear that from."
"It hurts, it hurts."
"Also, why are you taking a person's things without permission? Please give it back."
"Right. Sorry. I just saw Fern and-Scales of Love? Oh, this one's a test."
"Hm? I haven't gotten to that section yet."
"It looks interesting. Maybe, I should try it " Stark sat down across Fern, her book still in his hand. "Now, picture the other person in your mind and think about whether or not you feel the same way for the next level items..."
Could he really only read by speaking out loud? Not that Fern had any energy to stop him at this point.
"I'm sure Stark-sama already has a girl in mind."
"Huh? Of course, it's going to be Fern, right?" Stark said with a matter-of-fact tone. "There's really no one else I could use this on."
His words got Fern's attention immediately, washing any pain that had still remained in her heart. She almost wanted to say something but the boy had already started.
"First, If Fern looked to be not feeling well, my first duty would be to cheer her and or make sure she is okay...That's true."
"Eh?"
"Hmm? What is it, Fern?"
"...nothing."
Stark turned back to the book. It seemed like he was answering it on his own without concern that Fern was there. The warrior continued reading aloud each statement like nothing, water off his back.
"I would do almost anything for Fern...That's definitely true."
"...!?"
Although it was more accurate to say, Fern could make Stark do anything. That was how scary she could get.
"I would like to have Fern all to myself...Isn't that usually the case? I guess it applies."
"...that shouldn't count."
Stark didn't really feel that way but it, just like right now, it was often just the two of them (and Frieren) so who he was with was out of his control.
"If I can't be around Fern, I'll feel extremely lonely...That's how I've been feeling recently."
"...I see."
When he started travelling with the two girls (well, one girl and a granny), Stark hadn't expected to enjoy having their company around so much. He couldn't imagine going back to being by his lonesome.
"Whenever I'm alone, my first thought is to seek out Fern...There have definitely been moments when I think just that. Just this morning, I thought of Fern when I passed by a store."
"..."
The store he had passed by being a resto and bar. These days whenever he passed by some sort of food, he couldn't help but think of Fern who always had something in her hand to eat.
"One of my primary concerns is Fern's happiness...One hundred Percent. My life often depends on it."
"…!"
An upset Fern led to a crisis that, for some reason, always fell on Stark to fix. Keeping her happy was a bare minimum for his survival at this point.
Such a Fern was sitting across him, her face starting to match the clueless boy's own hair She couldn't believe how Stark could calmly answer the same love scale that had tilted her emotions.
Was he teasing her? But he looked to be taking each question seriously.
-While thinking of Fern.
"I can forgive anything when it comes to Fern...Not everything but I can't recall Fern ever doing anything wrong."
Actually, Stark was usually the one who apologized and it wasn't like Fern didn't apologize either. She did occasionally hit him but he wasn't that low a person to hold a grudge for something that small.
"I find it easy to ignore Fern's faults...I can't think of any so maybe that counts? Then, Yes"
Did Fern have faults? Probably just as everyone else did. However, such things were not things Stark knew to point out thus it was better to ignore anything that looked like one and just roll with it.
"When I'm with Fern, I often stare at the other person's face...That's just natural. Fern's face is the best place to rest my eyes on, after all."
Because if his gaze strayed any lower than her chin, Fern would call him a pervert.
"I feel very happy knowing Fern trusts me...I don't know if I can say that but I'd be happy if she felt that way."
Did she? She never forgot to tell him not to peak during bath time but outside of that, Stark liked to believe they trusted each other.
"It would be hard for me to think of not being with Fern...No question. If Fern disappears, I'll definitely go out to look for her."
Yes, Stark had long since decided he would stick with their party to whatever end they were heading to. There was no other path for him.
Stark nodded as he mentally checked all the boxes. He had answered positively in most of them but when he got to the end his face blanched.
"Ugh, you need to add them all up. And each one answer for each question has different points to them." While he wasn't fully illiterate, such merchant-like tasks were outside his warrior repertoire. "Her Fern, you think you could...Fern?"
Stark looked up from the book to see a very odd sight.
Sitting in front of him was a pouting Fern. Only, her cheeks were puffed out with air. That may also have explained why her face was so red but nothing else.
For a second, their eyes met.
Air was released from Fern's lips, followed by a low whisper.
"Unfair..."
"Huh?"
"Stark-sama is cheating! He's unfair!"
Holding both of her cheeks, Fern stomped her way out of the room without another word. The huffing girl didn't say anything, didn't even look back as she closed the door behind her.
"...what was that?" Still flabbergasted at what just happened, Stark continued to stare at the door Fern had just left. "Was it something I said?"
Whatever the case, it looked like he had to apologize to her as usual. But, weirdly enough, he swore he had seen her smiling when she left the room. Also, was that why she was holding her cheeks down? Once more, no clue but she did look a lot better than when he arrived back.
Looking at the test again, Stark had thought it was proof they had gotten closer but maybe he had overestimated himself.
After all, most of his answers went into the "Somewhat Applicable" category. He hadn't even realized it until the very end when the test asked him to add things up. The boy had believed it was just a yes or no sort of thing.
But even ignoring the complicated scoring system, Stark was sure that this many positive answers guaranteed the two were at least at the "Friend" level.
If he had answered more of them at the last column, then those probably led to romance instead of friendship.
Then wasn't it more important to know how Fern thought of him rather than whatever he thought of her?
At the very least, Stark understood that romance was a two way street so then what was the point of a test to find out one's own feelings? Shouldn't those already be known by the same person who held them?
But if that was the case, then Stark knew such that anything beyond friendship was impossible. He didn't need a test to know the answer to that. Her earlier reaction to him was evidence enough.
After all,
There was no way Fern was in love with Stark!
AN2: I told you not to read it! You ruined the Stern angst with some feel good fluff.