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“Dad, can I ask you something weird?”
“How weird are we talking?” Tai-yang turns around, wiping the sweat off his forehead. The two were out working together. Well, mostly Tai, but Yang was a pretty good help. There was only so much her smaller, eleven-year-old body could do for now. Yang didn’t care. This was one of the few times she could even spend time with her father before he would just—
“Pretty weird.” Yang jokes, but her expression seems off. Squeamish. Tai takes note of that.
She plays with the material of her orange t-shirt, looking down at the ground. “Other kids at school keep calling me a tomboy. I don’t know what that is…Is being a tomboy bad?”
“Of course not.” Tai sits on one of the logs he was carrying a moment ago to level with Yang’s shorter figure. “Is this name-calling new?”
“Sort of. I started hearing it when I started going back to class a week ago. Sometimes they’ll say dressing like a “boy” kinda makes me look too aggressive for a girl. I don’t even know if they were trying to be mean but…” She sighs. “I thought it would've been cool to look like this for a change, but I guess not.”
“Of course it—“ Tai stops to reiterate his sentence. Only telling Yang that ‘of course it’s cool’ no longer seems sufficient. He pats the empty space on the log next to him for Yang to sit. The beaming summer sun shines down on them.
“Being a tomboy is more than just how you dress. It’s the way you behave around others, the type of activities you participate in, the way you treat others. Those aspects make you who you are, and you’re one of the kindest, brightest people I know.”
Tai puts a hand on her shoulder. “They may say it’s weird because it’s not what they expect of you but there’s simply nothing more important than being yourself.”
Yang partially understands, and she finds solace in what he said. Just don’t let those dumb kids get to her. That’s the most she got out of it for now. Tai supports her, and that’s what counts, right? Ruby never cared much either, and she was the one person who looked up to her more than anyone else who was still in her life, so…
“Thanks, Dad.” She smiles up at him, cherishing the seldom moments they have together. Tai pulls her into a hug.
“We could work on that haircut, though.” He teases, ruffling Yang’s blonde curls.
“Dad!”
These words carry her far, but her understanding of it would eventually begin to change into something different.
"That’s it, I’m taking these heels off until we make it back home. I refuse to do this to myself any longer.” An exhausted Weiss trudges along behind the rest of her team.
“Good idea. As much as I pride myself in being able to fight in these things, it’s way too annoying to walk in this damn sand. It’s so much worse than the beaches in the Ever After.” Blake agrees, stopping in her tracks to remove her first shoe before a familiar yellow and gray arm stops her.
“I can hold them for you.” Yang, the love of her life, offers to help her out for the millionth time. She feels her face redden at the gesture.
“If you want.” Blake smiles, holding Yang’s face in one hand. “Thank you.”
Yang reddens as well when Blake pulls down the bandana covering his face and quickly pecks his cheek, feeling her soft lips for just a second. She continues to take her heels off afterward, and Yang doesn’t know if he’s lightheaded because of the heat of the desert or the blood that rushed to his head.
It’s not until Ruby and Weiss start making obnoxious kissy noises at them that they keep walking to their destination.
Eventually, the mixed commotion of voices becomes louder and clearer as they approach the city. Yang casually scans through the crowd of random civilian faces, falling upon familiar heads of ginger and raven hair. The two seem to be talking about something, and Nora looks like she’s about to head off on her own. She has become the newest member of the happy huntresses recently, Yang thinks. It’s been two weeks since his return to Remnant, and he just can’t stop noticing how different Ren and Nora look now.
He watches as they walk away from each other. They appear to be so happy, too. So comfortable in their own skin. Six months is a long time compared to his team’s couple of weeks in the ever after, and they’re still the same two people he’s known the past few years, but…
It’s not even a big deal, Yang says to himself. So what if his friends changed their appearance a bit? That’s got nothing to do with him.
Except, it does. More and more, It becomes harder to shake the feeling that something about himself is off. Hearing people refer to him with certain feminine terms make him increasingly uncomfortable as time goes by. His body, as built as it is now, feels like a trap to be in sometimes. People have acknowledged the tomboy aspect of Yang’s persona for ages. They’ve perceived him as the ‘rough girl’ that he wanted to be seen as initially, but he can’t stand that anymore because it’s not enough, something is wrong–
“Yang?” A soft voice brings him out of his thoughts. Blake is staring at him with growing concern, he looks down and oh.
His hand is trembling again, and she’s holding it.
“You alright? You’re shaking.” She asks, rubbing her thumb along his hand when intertwining their fingers and holding it to her chest. He feels her calm heartbeat, something that brings his own down to its normal pulse. He sighs.
“Yeah! Yeah, just thinking.” Yang nods, trying not to worry her. Pulling out his scroll, he goes to his favorited contacts. His finger hovers over RWB and JNOR’s icons, skipping over Nora’s after considering that she’s busy right now. Clicking on Ren’s, he shoots a very impulsive message.
[Yang: hey, are you doing anything right now? I need your help.
…
Ren: hi yang!
Ren: nah, i just saw nora off a few minutes ago
Ren: i’m heading back to our building now. you can come by!
Yang: great! thanks
Ren: no problem :p ]
“Is that Ren? Tell them I said hi!” Blake reads over Yang’s shoulder, slightly on her toes.
Yang laughs at her antics. “I’m about to go see them in a bit. I uh…wanted to speak about something specific.” Yang leaves out details, the sudden fear of Blake of all people knowing about this when he isn’t even ready to tell her, consuming him. He doesn’t want to push her away. He’s not. That’s the last thing the two of them want to do anymore, not after how far they’ve come together. He just…needs time to think before letting her know. That’s all.
“Oh? Well, alright then. Send them my greetings.” Blake kisses him on the cheek for the second time, about to find where Weiss and Ruby went, but there’s something in the way Yang looked so stressed a moment ago…
“You sure you’re okay, my love?” The two haven’t really discussed pet names or other terms of endearment much yet, it just slipped out before Blake could stop it. It came naturally to her, and she meant it with all her heart.
“Honestly, I don’t know, but I promise to let you know once I figure it out, okay?” He holds her by the waist, bringing her close. “You trust me?”
Without question, Blake thinks. “Of course.” She brings him in for a deeper kiss this time, their lips touching in a way that ignited sparks through Yang’s body.
When Blake lets go, he misses her touch.
Yang lightly trudges through the comfy space of JNOR’s current abode. Everyone else is out doing things, the house is empty except for one person. He forgot to ask which room belongs to Ren, as he looks between two opened doors in a small hallway, but is suddenly alerted by the sound of humming by a very familiar voice. Ah, there.
Popping his head in the doorway, he knocks to get their attention.
“Oh, hey!” Ren looks up from the book they were reading, waving and smiling at the blonde in the doorway. They were curled up in the corner of their bed near the wall wearing a baby pink t-shirt and black sweatpants. A pair of dark green noise-canceling headphones sat around their neck. “Did the mission go well?”
“Pretty much! Just taking down grimm, protecting civilians, the usual. Blake says hi, by the way!” Yang stretches as he walks into the room, trying to appear calm, but he was freaking the fuck out in reality. He shot Ren that text earlier without really thinking it over.
“Yang? You good?” Ren asks. “Oh, and, tell her I said hi back!”
“I wanna talk to you.” He states simply, running at hand through his hair.
They wear a confused smile. “Uh, yeah? You messaged me that, remember?”
“Right, um–actually, can I lock the door before I say anything?”
“...Okay?” Normally, Ren would question why the fuck he would need to do that, but judging how nervous Yang was about whatever, they just let him. If it makes him feel any better. “Sure, go ahead.”
Watching the door shut and click, they arch an eyebrow at Yang pacing toward them and sitting at the edge of the bed. Ren is growing worried, they don’t think they’ve ever seen Yang so anxious before. They set their book face down, open so they don’t lose their page, and scoot forward to sit beside him.
“Yang, whatever’s on your mind, you don’t have to be afraid to tell me—“
“I don’t think i’m a girl!” Yang loudly rushes out, Ren jumping and making a small startled noise at his outburst, eyes wide.
Ren blinks for a few moments, processing their friend’s words. To Yang, it looks like he made a big mistake. He starts receding into himself, a sensation of shame and uncertainty crawling up his back that he hasn’t felt with this much intensity since seeing the metal arm placed in front of him by his father back in patch.
“That’s all?” Ren finally responds to him, and Yang perks up.
“Wait wh—what do you mean that’s all?” He looks at them incredulously, eyebrows raising.
“With how serious you were, I was expecting to hear that you killed someone or something.” Ren pauses, thinking of his past actions with Blake. “Well, someone else .”
“ Dude. I am being serious!” The sudden shade thrown towards Adam’s dead body was pretty funny to him, though.
“ Okay, sorry.” Ren slightly covers their mouth as they softly chuckle. “Aw, Yang. You can trust me with this. Don’t worry!”
Yang scoffs. “Of course I trust you! I’ve told you things before.”
“That you have .” They grin. “So, who else have you spoken to about this?”
He scratches the back of his head at that. “Actually, you’re the first person who knows. That’s why I was kind of scared.” ‘Kind of’ is an understatement.
Ren stares at him in shock, and then confusion. “Really?!”
“Yup.” Yang pops the ‘P’.
They tilt their head to the side. “How come? I would think you’d be far more comfortable telling your actual teammates first, no?”
“You’re still my friend too! Don’t undermine that.” Yang’s tone is playfully scolding as he points at their chest, but he is serious. “Besides, I thought it would be better if I talked to someone I could potentially relate to. As far as I know, my teammates aren’t exactly like, uh, you .”
Ren snorts. “I’m not gonna bite your head off if you call me trans, dear.”
“It’s not that, I just didn’t know if it was the right label for you. There are different types, you know.”
“Of course I know .” Ren rolls their eyes. “That’s very sweet of you, though.” They smile, but it’s not the usual reserved and subtle smiles that Yang is used to. It’s bright and loving. It makes Yang happy.
“You know, I am curious.” Ren leans in a bit. “When did you start to realize this? It’s not often I can speak to people who potentially share my experiences.” That’s partially due to Ren being too nervous to approach people, period, but that’s not the point.
Yang ponders on that question. “It's followed me around my whole life, I think. I used to be called a tomboy growing up, and for a while, that was kind of my thing. I liked doing yard work with my dad, and learned how to fix things around the house when he…wasn’t always present. I don’t know if you remember, but I absolutely regret wearing that white dress to the dance at Beacon. Part of me felt like I had to.”
Yang makes quotes with his fingers. “I was known as the ‘girl who did boy things’ and that stuck. But now, tomboy doesn’t fit me anymore. There was something missing . I guess seeing you and Nora when we made it to vacuo made me wonder if not being a girl at all was that missing piece.”
“Whoa.” Yang turns to look at Ren again, realizing how quiet they’ve been and their eyes are sparkling with interest. “Nora would love a story like this.”
“Can you at least try to take me seriously here?” Yang deadpans, flicking their forehead.
“Ow! I am!” Ren exclaims, pouting. “I’m just saying you can tell her, too. She started testosterone recently, in fact.”
“Seriously?”
Ren nods. “She’s been microdosing, not wanting her body to change too much. Do you have any labels in mind that might fit you best?”
“Not really…” Yang says, a tad embarrassed for being so uninformed.
“Well…” Ren thinks, trying to get Yang’s gears turning. “Are you a trans man?”
Yang immediately shakes his head. “Definitely not a man…but I do enjoy looking really masculine. Like, butch.”
Ren can most certainly see that. “Okay. Butch, but not a woman. Nonbinary might be a better way to describe it. Do you want to transition medically? Take hormones or…”
“I haven’t given that any thought at all.” Changing his body to that degree isn’t something he’s considered. Taking some clothes out of Taiyang’s closet is as far as he’s gotten with his appearance. “Did you get any surgeries? What’s it like?”
“No surgeries, just estrogen. I started– I wanna say a month after we settled here in the desert? I can’t remember the approximate date.” Ren shrugs. “I’ve been getting shots each month ever since! That’s honestly all I need right now.”
Yang’s eyes narrow a bit. “You’re saying that I just need to shoot myself with testosterone for a couple of months and that’s it? That’s all it takes?”
Ren finds that amusing. “Only if you want to. Hormone therapy affects everyone differently. Some people take it for a few months, some do it for years, some trans folk don’t take it at all. Honestly, If I didn’t have access to it now then I wouldn’t either.”
“Wouldn’t it be hard to live that way?”
“I’d like to think not. I mean, as much as I prefer the way I look now, I’m still pretty okay with how I looked before. I’m fluid like that. The way I want to present myself just…changes. Fitting strictly into one box isn’t really my thing. Not that it's bad if other people do.”
Huh. They never were the most hyper-masculine person, now that Yang thinks about it. At least, for as long as he knew them.
“But anyway, hormones and surgeries aren’t the only things that you can do. Changing your name, pronouns, wearing binders or special tape are other alternatives to get you started—” Ren halts in the middle of their rambling as if a lightbulb suddenly went off in their brain. “Don’t bind with bandages. Ever.”
Yang blinks. “O-oh. Does it hurt?”
“It’s way too compressing on your chest, and the damage can be permanent if you’re not careful.”
“I take it Nora tried to at some point?” Yang throws that out there, mostly as a joke, but in truth he wouldn’t be surprised.
“ How’d you —actually nevermind. It was probably obvious.” That makes Yang laugh.
“ I heard my name .” The two turn towards the door at a knock and muffled voice. “What was that about me?”
Yang feels an elbow nudge his arm two times, Ren ushering for him to respond. He scoffs and returns the gesture a bit rougher than intended, making Ren yelp and laugh loud enough for their partner to hear.
“Nothing! Just talking about how spectacular you are.”
“ Right, ” Nora drags the word out sarcastically. They can’t see it, but she’s rolling her eyes. "If you don’t mind me asking, why am I locked out of my own room right now?”
“We were just having a personal conversation. We didn’t need to, but Yang wanted to lock the door.” Ren adds, teasing him.
He groans. “You know what—” Standing up, he walks over to let Nora in. “Shut up.”
Ren only blows a raspberry at him in return. They watch Nora and Yang greet each other from the bed. She’s in her new battle attire—well, new for Yang since he just got back here. He also notices that her chest is much less defined, nor is she wearing a combat skirt anymore. Her navy blue pants were slightly baggy. She brushes past him while wiping the side of her face with a towel.
“What? No hug?”
“ While I’m all sweaty?” Nora raises an eyebrow. Yang shrugs and lifts her shorter body off the floor.
“What the–hey! Let go!” She slightly struggles in his grip, cackling loudly. She’s not actually trying to fight back much, her legs locking around his back. Ren giggles at their roughhousing.
“Tell her to put me down.” Nora turns her head to their partner watching them from across the room.
“No can do. You’ve tackled poor Oscar way too many times for me to care.”
She gasps dramatically, jaw agape. “Traitor! You’re supposed to love me! ”
Ren covers their mouth to laugh again, but it was mainly to hide the blush that bloomed across their face at Nora’s words. Nora turns to Yang’s face, scowling and unlocking her legs. “Let me go.”
Rolling his eyes, he’s about to place her on the floor before changing his mind. He grins from ear to ear.
“Fine.” Ren turns their head, startled at the sound of a shout and a loud thud. She’s lying on her back on the wooden floor, staring up at the blonde with faux annoyance. This wouldn’t be the first time, she remembers when Yang launched her into the wall with his arm. “You suck.”
“You’re welcome!” Yang, despite his mischief, reaches a hand out to help her up.
“Are you guys done?” Ren interjects, standing up and staring at them as if they were insufferable. They were wearing their headphones now, a bit overstimulated by their noise.
“What, you feel left out from my hugs?” Nora asks, charging up to them before they can let out a rebuttal. She wraps her arms around them, nuzzling her head on their chest.
“That’s not what I…”
“I missed you, beautiful.” She mumbles, playing with the hem of their shirt and feeling the warmth of the skin underneath.
“I-I missed you too, silly.” They inevitably melt into her touch and embrace, bringing her closer. If it were humanely possible, Yang would’ve seen a line of steam coming from Ren’s head with how hard they were blushing and fumbling over Nora’s compliment. Yang snickers at that, they’re probably hugging far longer than two people who aren’t supposed to be together together yet, but he can only recall a few moments he was separated from Blake for too long after they reunited, so…
It’s Ren who breaks the hug eventually, gently pushing her off with a very flustered face. “I uh–” They clear their throat when hearing their voice crack. “I mean– Yang has something important to share with you.”
“Oh?” Nora lets go of Ren’s hands and turns to him, awaiting a response.
“Well uh…” Scratching the back of his head again, a habit of his, and avoids his gaze for a moment. “I think I’m trans?”
“You’re joking.” Ren can see the way she’s about to burst in excitement at whatever else Yang’s gonna say.
“ Nope. That’s why I came to Ren while you were on your mission with the happy huntresses, and–”
“Oh. My. Gods dude!” Nora grabs him by the shoulders, hopping up and down a couple of times. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks, Nora.” She smiles down at the excited girl.
“You know, I don't know why I didn’t see it coming. You become more and more masculine with every new combat outfit you wear.” Nora looks him up and down. “Now that I think about it, you’d look very handsome in a suit. Have you and Blake been on a date yet?”
“I–” Handsome?? Yang feels heat rush to his face. A strong wave of euphoria washes over him hearing that word. Has anyone called him that before? He doesn’t think so. It feels exactly the same as that night at the club, confronting Junior with the same energy he put out toward him. It was a one-off thing, calling himself ‘sir’ . To others, it probably seemed like he just wanted to look cool, but it was always more personal to Yang than that, even if he never told anyone. But, now that Nora and Ren knew…If blake ever called him that—
“You…think I’m handsome?” He squeaks out.
“Am I the first to say it? Masculine terms fit you well!”
“I agree,” Ren chimes in. “This is completely up to you, but have you considered he/him pronouns at any point?”
“Oh! I have some extra binders you can use! I don’t know how you feel about a top surgery appointment, or if you even want it, but just in case you’re not ready for that yet.” Nora rushes to her and Ren’s shared closet, pulling out a few colors. “Ren, you still got your tailoring skills?”
“Obviously,” Ren says with a cocky tone, very sure of themselves. “I’ve gotten much better at more creative designs, too. The suit I wore to the dance was admittedly bland, but yours won’t be. Trust me–”
“Um, guys?” Yang cuts them off, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. “Not that I don’t appreciate you guys’ support, because I really really do, but aren’t we going a bit too fast?”
Nora and Ren both pause to look at each other and then back at Yang. “Oops.” They say in unison. It’s not as if they want to make decisions for Yang, especially not about something as individualized as the trans experience. It does mean a lot to them, though, being able to share their experience with him so closely. And, well, providing acts of service to their loved ones was just their language in general.
Yang shakes his head fondly, all of the previous nerves when he first approached Ren vanishing in an instant. “He/him sounds very nice, actually. Let’s start there.”
Yang stares outside the window of JNOR’s living space, feeling prickly all over. He’s in his first-ever formal outfit since the dance at Beacon, and it’s exactly what he wished he felt back then. He hates to think about the past too much, but imagine if he chose not to wear the dress that day…
The Tang suit is a vibrant red with golden cuffs at the sleeves, matching with the four buttons that hold both sides together. The pants were a simple black, along with the shoes. The part that Ren’s the most proud of, though, is the golden dragons hand-woven on each side of the top. It took them a few weeks to do between missions, but they worked hard. Yang could tell, admiring their talent. Nora suggested he wear some silver rings on his fingers and gold stud earrings to complete the look. His hair is also in a high ponytail, but that was his own idea.
Staring into the mirror on the wall for the hundredth time that night, he studies his own appearance. His chest was flattened, a comfortable binder fitting snugly underneath the suit.
It's the most himself he’s ever felt in his life.
“Hey loverboy, you ready?” Nora teases as she and Ren are standing near the hallway, making their way toward him excitedly.
“Blake just said she’ll be here in five.” Ren glances at the message on their scroll, a small spinning toy in their other hand that they were casually fidgeting with.
“I can’t thank you guys enough for doing this.” Yang wanted that to sound more enthusiastic, but it came out a bit flat. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate their efforts, he couldn’t imagine not having friends like them, but…
“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Ren asks. Yang sighs, again. He can’t count how many times he’s done that tonight.
Yang’s smile is sad. “I’m sorry. I never meant to come off as ungrateful, if I ever did today. All of this means so much, and for the first time, I truly feel like me.”
“But what if Blake doesn’t like it? What if…” His frown deepens. “What if she thinks less of me now?”
“Oh, Yang,” Nora says. “We don’t know that yet. It’s okay to be scared. This is something new to you, and discovering something about yourself that you didn’t know before can be life-changing, but you can’t assume the worst before you try. Sometimes, you just gotta risk it. It’s better not to hide. ”
True. That’s how Yang has carried himself all these years. As a fighter, a friend, a huntsman, a brother.
But, as a lover?
“I mean, yeah…but…” His eyes dart to the side as he plays with the parts of his prosthetic, running his fingers along the purple lining he added to it recently.
“You know, I wasn’t treated kindly when I was younger, either,” Ren says. Their voice was small, the slightly concentrated expression told Nora that they were using their semblance a second ago.
“To other kids, I was different and they didn’t like that. Not really for the same reason you had, but I’ve struggled with expressing myself my whole life because of it, because I tried to be someone I thought people would like instead of being me , and to this day, I still have doubts.”
They place both of their hands on top of his. “But the people who truly love you don’t have those doubts. Me and everyone else want you to exist as, well, you. Whoever that person is.” They glance at Nora, and she returns that same look of affection.
‘They may say it’s weird because it’s not what they expect of you but there’s simply nothing more important than being yourself.’
He squeezes their hands back in response. “Thank you, guys. Really.” Ren gives them a warm grin.
“Blake is gonna love what she sees, trust us. She loves you. ” Nora puts a hand on his shoulder before pulling him into a hug. They both pull Ren into their arms and stay like that until they hear the doorbell ring. The three jump and scatter like birds in the street when they see a car pass by.
Shit. Shit, she’s here. “Guys, what the fuck do I do?”
“Answer the door, dummy!” Nora responds, laughing at him.
“Ah! Wait, I almost forgot! Be right back.” Ren shouts and runs back into the bedroom. After a few seconds, they come back out with a bouquet of yellow flowers.
Sunflowers.
“Give her these.” They say, lightly shoving Yang toward the door.
“When did you even get —”
“Just go!”
A trembling hand touches the handle and opens the door, holding the flowers with his prosthetic. His breath gets caught in his throat before he can get a single word out. There Blake stands, in a gorgeous, long, dark purple dress. Her hair was curlier than usual, yellow eyeshadow matching her eyes. A golden necklace with her emblem decorated her neck.
“I–wow. You —” Yang held his breath too hard, unfortunately, throwing him into a light coughing fit. Blake immediately checks on him, an ear perking up at the sound of snickering behind the door. Looking closer, she sees a familiar head of ginger hair.
“Hey, you two,” Blake smirks. The laughing stops.
“Hi Blake.” Ren sing-songs, and Blake grins while rolling her eyes before focusing back on Yang.
“Is this what you wanted to show me?” She asks once Yang calms down, taking in his appearance, studying him. Yang squirms under her intense gaze.
“Yeah! I wanted it to be a surprise. For you.” He bows and hands her the flowers. Blake giggles softly and takes them. Smelling them, she beams. “They’re wonderful.”
Yang runs a hand through his hair. “ I figured since this is our first date I’d get extra fancy. A lot has changed, and I have a lot to explain, but I hope you can hear me out.”
“Huh, and here I thought I overdressed.” Blake blushes, biting her lip. Yang stares at her lips, holding back the urge to kiss them.
“You look amazing, Blake.” He holds her by the waist like before. “I’d never think otherwise.”
“Neither would I.” She holds his face in her hand, her fingers slowly traveling down to the fabric of the suit. “You look… handsome. I’m lucky to have such a gentleman at my side.” She holds his hand, guiding Yang to their destination. “Tell me everything.” As they walk away, he receives a message on his scroll.
[Nora: Have fun you two! ^_^]
Yang was on top of the world.
