Chapter Text
I
The house is dead silent, it is 3 am and the Heartsteel boys are expected at their much anticipated fan meetup the next day. Even Aphelios, their resident night owl and Ezreal, who would more often than not stay up scrolling on whichever app caught his fancy that night, were both in bed sound asleep.
However, in the calm silence of a sleeping home there is rattling at their front door as Kayn makes an attempt at stealth. He cringes at how loud the door squeaks as he opens it. The fog of alcohol laying heavy across his mind, his hands are unsteady and his steps are clumsy as he shuts the door. He stumbles around in the dark, softly bumping his way through furniture, until he finds his way to the kitchen to get a drink of water before he passes out.
He manages to succeed without breaking a glass or alerting anyone to his horridly late entrance to their shared home. Nice. He trudges up the stairs to his room, locking the door behind him and barely managing to get off his sneakers before he lets himself fall to his bed, ready to pass out. However his phone vibrates in his pocket before he gets the chance, a notification from his messenger app;
Kali
You got home right dumbass
He tries to think of a witty reply, or really just something that spans more than two words but the combination of liquor and exhaustion that swirls around his mind makes stringing words together too difficult. He sends a thumbs up emoji as another notification comes in from his calendar. He grumbles in confusion before taping it to see a reminder.
Meet n’ Greet
12pm
‘That's gonna be a pain in the ass’ is the last thing he thinks to himself before promptly passing out.
Kayn awakes to three soft knocks echoing through his room, each knock feels like an ice pick jabbing at his temples and he groans as he turns over in bed. He hears Yone’s smooth voice through the door,
“Kayn you need to get up now so we’re not late” Soft footfalls leave from his door and a few choice words race through his mind to say to Akali the next time that witch shakes a sealed bottle of clear liquor in his face. Nevertheless he takes a breath and throws his legs over the side of his bed. He manages to get his feet under him as he rises to stand, the moment he moves to take a step however the room spins . He drops back down to sit on his bed as he notes with measured concern that he has in fact not slept off all the alcohol. He wouldn't call himself truly drunk but he’s definitely on the heavier side of tipsy. He heaves a sigh as he brings his hand to rub the space between his eyebrows.
He has faked sobriety on more than one occasion in his life, his main issue is the headache that pounds at his head like a rogue cave man. Suddenly he has a realisation.
Pills, he notes to himself, he just needs to take two ibuprofen and he’ll be set to interact with the public. So, he sets his mind as he slowly, carefully, moves to the bathroom adjoining his room.
“Just a few hours” he whispers to himself, “I can take that”.
___________
Kayn sees Yone drying his hands as he enters the kitchen. The dishes are washed and have been put aside to dry, Yone looks at him with a glint of concern in his eyes that Kayn actively ignores as he drops his bag and boots beside a chair and takes a seat at the kitchen island. He sees Yone glance at the clock on the wall displaying 10:00 am before speaking.
“There’s leftovers from last night if you want something quick before Alune starts banging down the door.” Yone’s suggestion is largely ignored with only a grunt and mumbled ‘head hurts’ as Kayn pillows his head in his arms.
“I’ll move when Alune starts threatening me.” Kayn grumbles from his seat. He hears the rustling of Yone moving about the kitchen but he doesn't have the energy or will to be nosey about what's happening. Maybe five minutes pass before Yone lightly shakes him and Kayn lifts his head to see a travel mug in front of him. He looks past Yone to see three or four different loose leaf teas spread over the counter. The containers are either without labels or have a label in a language Kayn certainly does not know. Most of the containers look older than Kayn himself, Yone speaks again, pushing the mug a little closer.
“I used to have to make this for my brother when he got migraines” as he spoke he moved about packing up his mystery ingredients. “Only thing that might work better is sleeping it off, drink up.” he instructs the man as he leaves to grab his own final touches for his outfit from his room.
Kayn experimentally takes a sip. It tastes earthy and tangy at the same time but it's not inherently bitter, surprisingly. It tastes like something his dad would make.
The thought of home warms him and Kayn begins drinking the tea in earnest. By the time he’s halfway through his drink the pressure that had been clamping down on his head is alleviated some, he might give credit to the ibuprofen for that one but he also notices that the warm half buzz he felt when he woke up had dissipated and that with every drink of the tea it felt a little more legal to drive. God bless Yone.
“Time to get moving boys!” Alune’s loud voice immediately breaks the calm feeling he had barely managed to create. He shoves his feet into his boots and stomps out to the living room with all the pomp and circumstance of a man who was not battling a hangover.
“We have phones, you know!” He speaks much louder than he meant to, triggering a slight revival of his own headache, prompting him to slightly lower his voice as he continues. “A phone call would do the same damn job without your screaming”
“Uh huh sure” Alune points to the door as she speaks. “Car”. Kayn obeys with no further complaint apart from an eye roll as he puts on a pair of sunglasses before heading out, mentally bracing himself for the outside world.
___________
The drive to the venue wasn't terrible. Although Yone would still throw glances of concern at him often in the beginning of the drive, once Kayn fell into his usual rhythm of kindly bullying Ezreal the older man’s concern seemed to abate.
The concoction Yone made him did well in staving off the nausea that posed a threat when he had just woken up, that had been Kayn’s only true concern so once he realised he wouldn't have to focus too much on keeping the contents of his stomach in his stomach, his mood improved tremendously. By the time they arrived at the event Kayn had almost managed to forget his predicament.
Then he steps into the sun. He gives a sharp hiss immediately pressing his sunglasses almost flush with his eyes, stumbling out of the car into the parking lot. He feels a large hand come to rest on his back, steadying him as K’sante’s smooth voice washes over him as Kayn keeps his head down.
“You feelin’ alright my brother?” The concern in his voice is thick and choking, he notices as he raises his head that even Alune is now staring at him with that disgusting look in her eyes. Kayn should know by now that his members’, and even his manager’s, concern is not synonymous with pity. Yone has said it so many times it has to stick eventually but right now with the sun beating down on him and his headache resurfacing and all his band members watching him, it feels like pity.
But he tries his best to hold on to his composure because he knows there are bound to be cameras on them soon, if not already there, eager to document their every move, as if they were not people but objects for their adoration and an outlet for their anger. The articles throwing accusations of madness onto him were really nothing more than night time entertainment for him when he couldn’t sleep.
The articles about his bandmates, however, making outrageous accusations and starting despicable rumours, those articles are the ones that make his blood boil and cause shadows to stretch too far along the walls.
But he hates causing trouble for them.
So he lifts his head, eases himself into the appropriate personality, the one he crafted with his own two hands that allowed him to survive- no, thrive in front of the camera and turns to give K’Sante a sharp smile.
“Perfect”. He softens his smile slightly before continuing. “Sun’s too damn bright is all ''. K’Sante seems to accept that answer and Alune moves to order them into the back of the building so they can be sent through hair and make-up before the event starts.
Kayn, the proud practitioner of ‘fake it till you make it’ that he is, walks forward with utmost confidence that he will make it through this event without issue.
___________
Yone thinks the meet up went well. He’d even say it went very well. The questions fans asked were entertaining and not overly pushy, he’s glad Alune took the time to filter questions, he’ll have to remember to thank her. None of the fans tried anything out of order during the signing segment, no one’s hand was grabbed too roughly, gifts were handed over kindly and between the four of them he thinks they must have amassed at least a hundred plushies.
The event went so swimmingly he was able to forget that Kayn was unwell for a bit. As soon as they left to return backstage after the conclusion of the event he watched in concern as Kayn all but threw himself onto the couch, suddenly looking tired enough to sleep straight through to the next day.
“Cant pass out just yet man!” Sett energetically called at him as he moved to lift him from the couch. Kayn’s only response was a groan and an unenthusiastic wave of his hand as he was forcefully brought back to his feet. Yone moved to herd the boys to the direction of the exit door and subsequently, their car, giving brief thanks to the staff that they passed by on their way out.
Alune had some sort of final managerial duties to take care of so the band decided to head out to wait in the car.
The event wrapped up just around the time the sun had begun to set, bathing the parking lot in soft orange hues as they exited the building. The lot is notably not empty, which isn’t concerning, staff are all parked on this side of the building so there are quite a few milling about. Either bringing back equipment to vans or simply packing away their own belongings. The people move about around them with a scarce glance in their direction. Until he hears a voice pipe up a bit behind him.
“Excuse me, just a moment-” a man approaches them and based on the mic pack he holds out he seems to be some form of reporter. Ugh.
“So sorry, we’re all quite tired after the day’s events, we won't be answering questions at this time” Yone immediately cuts him off in the politest tone he can manage.
“Oh please, you’ve been sitting down all day, just give me a minute!” The man is dismissive of Yone’s kind rebuttal so he takes a step further and hardens his voice.
“I said, no, have a good day sir.” Once he finishes speaking he motions for the rest of the band to move to get away from the weasley individual.
Now, in hindsight this is where he made a singular mistake. Out of habit, he made sure to bring Ezreal in front of him, he was the easiest target for pushy reporters and paparazzi after all. He ensured Sett was the person farthest away from said pushy reporter and that Aphelios and K’Sante were on either side of the large man to calm him down or hold him back respectively.
This was not his mistake.
His mistake was assuming that like other reporters this man would not bother Kayn. It was a running gag after all that Kayn was the only member of the group paparazzi have actively avoided, the man was oftentimes even more effective at scaring off nosey reporters than Sett, so Yone of course assumed this man would follow suit.
He was wrong, very wrong .
As the group moved past him, ignoring his increasingly offensive calls for attention. Yone is focused on ensuring Sett doesn't turn back when suddenly he hears a sharp choking sound and whips around. He turns just in time to see that the reporter has grabbed onto the loose strap connected to Kayn’s choker pulling the man back for a moment.
The reporter’s face is set in a self righteous smirk, clearly smug about getting some form of reaction. Yone doesn't even get the chance to speak before Kayn snaps .
Suddenly the man is on the ground, Kayn looming over him. The reporter is barely able to put up his arms in some pathetic form of protection as Kayn repeatedly slams his fist down.
Over, and over and over again. Nearly a minute has passed before K’Sante is the first to snap out of the shock that has gripped the entire parking lot.
“Kayn, easy!” as he speaks K’Sante grabs Kayn in an imitation of a bear hug and pries him off the reporter. The pathetic man scampers for purchase on the ground as a few staff members surge forward.
Kayn however has noticeably not calmed down, he screams to be let go, huffing and puffing and kicking out at anything that moves. He’s thrashing so badly in K’Sante’s arms that Sett has to assist in dragging him to the car.
The man looks possessed.
Alune arrives on scene and immediately looks like she’s aged ten years by simply stepping into the parking lot. They’ve managed to corral Kayn into sitting in the car at this point and Alune just tells Yone to get the band back home, that she’ll ‘deal with it’ and while Yone is very interested to see how on earth she could possibly ‘deal’ with this he is also very interested in getting Kayn away from this entire situation.
He directs Aphelios and Ezreal to the car and tries his best to shake the image of Kayn, panting and thrashing out of his mind. Not because he was particularly frightening, rather because when he looked in Kayn’s eyes, past the anger and vitriol, he looked terrified.
Yone physically shakes his head as he turns the key in the ignition of the car and pulls out of the notably fuller parking lot.
The ride home is silent.
For the entire drive Kayn holds his head down, arms wrapped around his body, his choker gripped in his hand as he glares at the floor and seemingly tries to fuse with the car door.
No one tries to prompt any sort of conversation with the man, Yone thinks it's because they’ve realised on some level what he did. The fact that this reaction was something that ran much deeper than any sort of anger they’d seen from the man before.
Kayn was still breathing heavily as he pushed himself against the door, though he had certainly calmed some since the drive began, so Yone decided to count his blessings (namely that Kayn wasn’t trying to pick a fight with any of the members) and just focus on the road.
It isn't the most comfortable drive he’s had but considering the times he’s given his brother a lift when the man was piss drunk Yone could handle this much.
The moment Yone turns off the engine in the parking lot for their house Kayn shoots out of the car before anyone can even try speaking to him.
Yone lets his head rest on the steering wheel while he debates speaking, Ezreal, however, beats him to the proverbial mic as he pipes up from his seat in the back.
“You think Kayn’s gonna get charged? '' He speaks in a surprisingly genuine tone prompting Yone to raise his head and turn to look at the younger man before responding.
“I… doubt it, that reporter was out of line, so if he decides to press charges there’s a good chance Kayn can get out with a little fine and a restraining order at most,” he tries his best to sound confident in himself and gives Ezreal a soft smile, “I wouldn’t worry too much”.
“It remains to be seen what Riot will do about him though” K’sante’s tone carries worry befitting the man, a soft chuckle leaves him before he continues “though considering Sett’s track record we should hope he’ll get off with a stern talking too.”
“We’re gonna be restraining order buddies!” Sett pipes up with more energy than he should rightfully have, causing the remaining members to fall into soft laughter as they clamber out of the car.
Yone finds himself breathing easier as he crosses over the threshold of the house.
___________
The next day holds Yone’s current record for levels of passive anxiety.
Someone got a video of the ordeal and Kayn went sufficiently viral overnight. When Kayn emerges from his room around ten, looking like he’s been up all night and that anyone who asks him how he slept will get a dose of his ‘reporter special.
Alune had shown up much earlier to get the members’ stories on what happened before the rapper in question is whisked off to a meeting with her and some higher ups for what Yone hopes is just a good scolding.
The members practically work double time to paint Kayn in the best light possible and maybe it works because when he and Alune return in the evening the man is all smiles as he bursts through the door.
“Sett!” is the first thing he shouts as the door nearly swings off its hinges, “We’re restraining order buddies!”
“Hell yeah!” is the large man’s excited response from his seat on the couch. Alune shuts the door, softly, behind them and approaches Yone as Kayn begins poking his nose around in the kitchen.
“Well, good news is, the suits up at Riot weren't all that upset about our resident devil rearranging that guy’s face. The bastard has a few restraining orders of his own against some other talent in the company.” Yone smiles softly at the information before asking,
“And the bad news?”
“He’s got a restraining order and half the internet on his back calling him a lunatic.”
“Nothing too out of the ordinary then.” Alune stares deadpan at the taller man for a few moments before sighing and turning to leave.
“I’m going to go grey early because of you boys, I know it in my heart.” There’s a fondness in her tone that warms his heart and he watches as Alune gives her usual greetings to her brother before bidding the band farewell, shouting an instruction to ‘not get into any more trouble’ in the vague direction of the dinning room where Kayn had begun eating some form of leftovers before she reaches the door.
Kayn makes a vague grunting noise that Alune chooses to interpret as an agreement as she leaves the house.
The rest of the night is filled with the regular shenanigans, Ezreal loads up mario kart and ropes the rest of the members into playing well into the night. The tension that had made a home in Kayn’s shoulders finally dissipates as he cackles at Ezreal for losing yet another race to Aphelios.
Yone feels a calm wash over him at the sight. He knows Kayn would sooner die than directly address his ‘freak out’ , even so he had been trying to figure out some method of comfort for his most confusing bandmate.
‘This is enough’ he thinks to himself as he begins to succumb to the sweet lull of sleep right there on the couch. The last thing he remembers is the sight of Ezreal shoving the controller into Kayn’s chest in outrage at having lost again.
___________
A full week has passed since the fan meet up and the band has entered a lull in their group activities, they’ve been left with time amongst themselves to come up with new ideas to present for their next comeback. Between Yone’s frequent trips with Alune to help choose and organise sponsorships and possible collaborations he’s come to a concerning realisation.
Kayn isn’t sleeping enough.
To be fair Kayn has never slept any amount of time which could be considered healthy, he had practically made a habit out of frightening K’sante in the early hours of the morning when the large man would leave to go to the gym, the better term to use would be ‘sleeping well’. Due to this he has begun to cause Yone more than his usual cupful of anxiety.
The man is sitting across from him now and it's painfully obvious that all is not well. His movements are lethargic as he pushes around the food on his plate, taking a slow bite every now and again. This is the first time anyone has actually seen him outside of his room in the last five days, not unexpectedly, Kayn had already warned them about his propensity to isolate himself in order to write lyrics but it’s still cause for concern in Yone’s eyes.
“Kayn?” He tentatively seeks out the younger man's attention, wary of a grouchy response
“Huh” Kayn peers up at him with half-lidded eyes, barely able to focus on him. Of Course it's after he gets a response that Yone comes to the realisation that he doesn't really know what to say to him.
Conversing with Kayn was almost an art form, sort of like how kung fu is an art form, the kind of art form you really don't approach without a plan. Something that he had chuckled at one day could make him fly into a rage on another. Getting information out of him could feel like pulling teeth when he decides to make life difficult, so the best way to start a conversation is a neutral topic to test the waters.
“Ezreal brought back a cheese cake because it was on sale or something, did you want some?”
“Uh, sure” Kayn is slow to respond but the agreement makes Yone hope that he’s caught him in one of his tired yet good moods, the kind that makes him chatty about things that bother him.
Yone rises to get the cake from the fridge, pressing off the table and turning to grab two plates. While he faces away from the other man he tries to figure out an actual question to ask. ‘Are you ok’ is too basic and has very quickly soured his mood before. ‘Have you been sleeping well’ is good but the answer is so obviously no there’s a good chance the only ‘answer’ he’ll get is a deadpan look.
Unfortunately he’s still going over what to say to him when he places the cake and forks on the table. Kayn pushes his abandoned pasta away in order to eat the dessert.
Yone is suddenly struck by the image of his brother, sniffling at the dinner table after getting scolded, lighting up like a christmas tree when Yone would sneak him a cookie when their parents left them alone.
“Kayn?” He calls out again.
“Mn?” he answers around a mouth full of cake.
“If anything ever bothers you, you know you can tell me right?” Kayn swallows and stares at Yone while he continues. “Even if it sounds dumb, if the dryer is too loud or the couch isn't comfortable or one of the members started snoring, anything, just… you can tell me, anytime” Yone smiles softly at him. Kayn continues staring for a bit before looking back down at his plate.
“Sett snores like a bitch but that’s fine, never liked sleeping when it was too quiet anyway, haven't had much of an appetite for a few days, happens sometimes, it’ll come back” He’s mumbling but Yone makes sure to pick up every word. “I’ll be fine,really”.
He resumes his efforts to clean his plate and Yone lets him with nothing more than a quiet smile as he eats his own slice. When he leaves, the little plate Yone gave him is all but licked clean and Yone’s heart feels that much lighter.
The next day Kayn still looks like he could use a few hours of rest, but he makes a pot of macaroni for himself and the members are able to watch in quiet amazement as he finishes the entire thing in one sitting.