Chapter Text
Hee Do kicks at the small pebbles that are gathered on the side of the footpath. With her hands shoved in her pockets, she glowers at the ground with her teeth gritted. Why does her mother always find a way to ruin her life? Even when she’s finally done something noteworthy, making it into the nationals and winning a medal, that still isn’t enough to sway her mother.
Living at the NTC is life-changing, no doubt in many ways. She knows, because she trained there before winning her medal. She’d be away from friends and family – well, only her mother which is pretty much the only upside in that regard – while also being able to continuously improve everyday.
But now, the problem is her mother with her stupid excuses again. Why she suddenly told Hee Do that she can’t go live at the NTC every single week, Hee Do has no clue. Hee Do is eighteen, almost an adult now. She handles herself just fine but no, her mother still thinks she’s too reckless and apparently, it’s too dangerous out there. So what if it is? Her mother is never home anyway so that changes absolutely nothing.
Hee Do bites back a curse as she hits a crack in the concrete, a sharp pain ringing through her toes. She glances up at the darkness enveloping the night sky, no trace of any stars today. The moon is hidden behind thick dark clouds, providing little to no light for Hee Do as she treads past the darker streets with few street lights.
All the lights are off in the buildings nearby, four-walled houses built with brick and tiles. Nothing like the modern buildings near the NTC, or the ones near the cities that hold the Olympics and competitors, the ones that Hee Do would never be able to see because of her stubborn mother, who refuses to let her chase her dreams!
That’s all she’s ever done, stomp on her dreams and tell her to go study even if it isn’t her passion. She claims herself to be worried about Hee Do when Hee Do really knows she’s just not bothered and doesn’t care about anything Hee Do does, just doesn’t want her to make her mother’s reputation look bad as her daughter. That’s why they’ve told nobody that Hee Do’s her daughter.
People would find that the famous news anchor, Shin Jae Kyung, has a brainless daughter who chases her useless dreams of becoming a fencer.
She could never be one in this life, they’d say.
Give it a few months and she’ll go back to school, they’d say.
She could never be Ko Yu Rim, they’d say.
Ko Yu Rim, the only reason Hee Do’s ever pushed this far with her dreams. Yu Rim appeared to her in a television show when she was at her worst, coming home everyday after getting beaten at her girls from her old school. That radiant smile on her lips with the bright sparkle in her brown eyes sparked something in Hee Do.
The thought that one day that could be Hee Do motivated her. The thought that one day that she could even become Ko Yu Rim’s rival motivated her. Yu Rim was and is her motivation to keep fencing, even though at the moment, the both of them detest each other. It isn’t like Hee Do wants to hate Yu Rim, it’s just she’s…
Disappointing? Did Hee Do expect her to be a friendly and open-minded person just from seeing her on television? No, of course not. The way someone fences only tells you what kind of person somebody is, not how they act. For example, she’s watched almost every single of Yu Rim’s bouts now.
From her elegant strikes, to her premeditated strategies and graceful rhythm in her flawless techniques, Hee Do can tell that Yu Rim is more of a reserved person, quiet and dignified. Her fencing didn’t tell Hee Do that she’s a flat-out bitch, though.
Hee Do wishes Yu Rim and her would’ve gotten along though. To be friends with her idol is only something she could dream of, really. She’d told the world that she wanted to be Yu Rim’s rival, not her enemy. But those two are too similar, right? Could she really be Yu Rim’s rival without being her enemy? Could she be her rival’s friend, even after besting them in a competitive bout that changes the path of both their lives?
Call her dramatic but that could be her one day, on the piste with Yu Rim. Or at least she hopes so.
The streetlights don’t illuminate the darker backsides of the streets, so Hee Do has to squint in the dark as she navigates in the pitch-black alley. She doesn’t really know where she’s going, only that she just wants to get away from her house.
Hee Do pauses. There’s two people breathing in this alley right now and the one that is breathing heavily and raggedly is definitely not her. Someone else is here. She glances to the end of the alley, seeing the streetlights illuminate the roads on the other side. Quickly, Hee Do makes her way over.
Pit-pat, pit-pat, pit-pat, pit–
Hee Do steps on something. Or is it some–
“Ow.”
Hee Do freezes. Something inside of her sinks with relief at the sound of a feminine voice, but then her hackles immediately raise in alarm. Are they injured? She can barely make out a figure on the ground. Why are they on the ground?
She tries her best to see in the dark but she barely makes out anything. Hee Do pulls out her cellphone from her pocket, fumbling with the new flashlight feature. A bright light floods the entire alley, almost blinding Hee Do and the other person as she winces. When she adjusts to the light, she finds the exact person she’d been thinking of.
“Ko Yu Rim?” she says with wide eyes. “What are you–”
“Can you – not shine that in my eyes?” Yu Rim’s voice comes out breathless and ragged, like she’d been punched in the stomach. “It’s a bit bright.”
Yu Rim regards her through half-lidded eyes. Blood dribbles from one of her beaten nostrils, her cheek pulsing red with an angry welt. She sits oddly on the ground, hands hugging herself as if she’s holding her intestines in. Her shirt is stained with blood, some of the edges torn and ripped. Her face is deathly pale with a sickly yellow sheen, looking so fragile in the light of her flashlight.
Hee Do stares. What in the world is Yu Rim of all people doing near her suburb, injured in an alley? If she remembers correctly, Yu Rim lives about two suburbs away because she has to take a bus there from Tae Yang.
“I said–” Yu Rim leans over and starts coughing, to which Hee Do then crouches, pointing the flashlight away.
Her fingers grasp onto Yu Rim’s jaw, to which she protests. Hee Do leans her face to the side, inspecting her face with horror. Hee Do can’t see any of her belongings here and it isn’t like for Yu Rim to go places without at least her bag. She vaguely remembers one of her mother’s news flashes about a gang arrest in the shadier parts of their suburb for stealing and beating up people.
“Who did it?” Hee Do finds herself asking, voice hard. “Who did this?”
Yu Rim swats Hee Do’s worrying hands away weakly, her breaths heavy. “I don’t know. Some big guys in black, I think there were two of them.”
Hee Do closes her eyes briefly before opening them. “What were you doing here, Yu Rim? You know how dangerous this suburb is!”
Hee Do doesn’t mean to snap but it comes out like that. Yu Rim is stunned for a moment. Their eyes lock together, tension crackling. Then, Yu Rim drops her gaze with a sheepish laugh, averting her gaze.
“You forgot your saber at the gym.” Yu Rim grinds out, with an embarrassed look on her face. “Last time, you made a whole scene over losing your saber so I thought…”
Yu Rim trails off, refusing to look at Hee Do. Unfortunately for Yu Rim, Hee Do’s flashlight shines so bright that she can see the flush dusted on her cheeks. Hee Do’s flattered, surprised and amused all at the same time. Ko Yu Rim, doing something nice for her without being asked to? Well, that’s new.
“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. They took all my stuff. I don’t know why you loved that saber so much but it probably meant a lot to you.” Yu Rim says, her voice growing small. “Sorry.”
Hee Do blinks, biting her tongue. The first saber meant nothing much to her, it was something her mother bought for her a week after forgetting her birthday. The second saber was given to her by Baek Yi Jin, her ex-boyfriend. She remembers all the unbidden memories that came with the blue-handled saber, forcing the overwhelming wave of emotions back.
It’s probably for the better that she doesn’t have that saber anymore.
Besides, the fact that Yu Rim’s worried about her sabers more than her actual state right now cracks Hee Do up. She turns and hides her smile in the darkness.
“It’s fine.” Hee Do shrugs. “I’ve got another one at home and those sabers shouldn’t be enough for you to risk your life by going through this side of my suburb. You should seriously value your life more, Ko Yu Rim, you’re Korea’s prized fencing jewel.”
Yu Rim swallows thickly, her expressions full of conflicting emotions. Then, to Hee Do’s surprise, her lips turn at the corners and she lets out a breathless laugh, hand pressing against her stomach. She’s never heard Yu Rim laugh before to be honest and the sound is just as angelic as she’s imagined it.
Even when it’s raspy and in the middle of a bloody alley, Yu Rim’s laughter makes Hee Do smile.
“You should be in a mental asylum.” Hee Do mutters before Yu Rim scoffs, rolling her eyes.
“Says you.”
“Oh, gosh!” Hee Do pretends to get up, checking her wrist that does in fact not have a watch. “I should go now, I’m really late for my date!”
“You? Dating?” Yu Rim still manages to be condescending even when she’s bleeding out on the ground.
Hee Do flicks off her flashlight on her cellphone, leaving Yu Rim to be swallowed up by the darkness. She slowly inches away to the side of the alley, wondering how far she could go before Yu Rim called her back. Hee Do backs away to the open side of the alley, where cars are speeding past on the road.
Hee Do can almost feel Yu Rim’s apprehension grow and maybe she is being a little mean but it serves Yu Rim right for all the times she’s made Hee Do feel inferior. But even if Yu Rim never called her back, she wouldn’t leave her anyway. She wouldn’t leave Yu Rim bleeding out in the alley.
“Fine!” Yu Rim’s voice echoes in the alley somewhere in the darkness.
“Fine, what?” Hee Do repeats back to her with a smug smile.
“I’m sorry, alright?!” Yu Rim’s voice is reluctant and gruff, as if it’s taking her entire pride just to say this. “Can you just–”
“Can I what?” Hee Do’s having more fun than she should, as Yu Rim is literally injured, laying on the ground. But she has to get back at Yu Rim at least once in her lifetime.
“Can you please help me out here?” Hee Do can hear the cringe in Yu Rim’s voice. “I can’t – I can’t go home like this!”
The flashlight turns back on and Hee Do strides over to Yu Rim with a grin. Yu Rim looks like she’s ready to pounce on Hee Do with those murderous eyes but she’s the injured one here. Hee Do crouches down, cellphone in one hand and the other wandering closer to Yu Rim.
“Here, put your arm around my neck.”
Yu Rim hesitates for a moment but then she wraps her arm around Hee Do’s neck for support. Hee Do can hear the way her breath catches as she grunts, wincing from the pain. Hee Do presses Yu Rim against her side by wrapping her other arm around her waist.
“On the count of three, I’m going to stand up, alright?”
“I’m not a baby, I know what to do.”
“One, two, three!”
Hee Do gets up as slowly as she can but Yu Rim yelps out in pain, arm tightening around her neck. Hee Do lifts Yu Rim as much as she can with her arm around her waist but she can only do so much with one hand. Yu Rim gasps, pressing back against the wall, her face paling. Her feet stumble listlessly beneath her.
“I thought you said you knew what to do.” Hee Do raises an eyebrow.
“Easier said than done, Na Hee Do.” Yu Rim breathes heavily, sucking in a breath. “It hurts too much.”
“Where?”
Yu Rim gestures to her lower stomach to her legs, where her shorts don’t cover the multiple angry red marks similar to the one on her cheek. The colour drains from Hee Do’s face. She doesn’t know if Yu Rim can even make it back to her house in her state. She looks fragile and pale under the flashlight, cheeks hollow. Without hesitation, Hee Do stuffs her cellphone into Yu Rim’s hands, who opens her mouth to frown and ask why before–
“H-hey! Hee Do-yah!”
Hee Do scoops Yu Rim up in her arms, just like a groom would carry his bride. Yu Rim immediately starts shifting, kicking her legs out – which should be impossible from how beaten up they are. The light doesn’t illuminate Hee Do so neither of them can see the hot blush washed across her cheeks.
Well, it’s one way to get Yu Rim back to her house, right?
“Hold the flashlight straight, Yu Rim-ah.” Hee Do’s proud of how stable her voice is, despite the sudden thundering in her chest. “If we get jumped again, I’m leaving you here.”
Yu Rim stops struggling.
“If anyone sees us, I’m gonna kill you.”
…
They make it back to Hee Do’s house without much struggle. Yu Rim is surprisingly light in Hee Do’s arms, something that she notes. Hee Do could feel her shifting the entire time, muttering something about if the paparazzi see them or if anyone at school sees them. Although, Hee Do is amused for how flustered she is when Hee Do keeps talking to her. Hee Do sighs, rolling her eyes. They’ve just gotten past the green gate at her house and its fairly dark now.
“We’re not going through the front door.” Hee Do decides, just from seeing the light in the living room on.
Yu Rim cranes her neck up with minimal effort, tilting her head. “Your parents are home already? That’s really early.”
“My mother is.” Hee Do doesn’t say anything else, just readjusts her grip on the inner sides of Yu Rim’s knees. “We’ll go through the window in my room.”
They sneak quietly around the perimeter of the house, because Hee Do’s room is on the other side of the house from the door. When they reach her window, it’s open as Hee Do always leaves it to be.
“You leave your window open?” Yu Rim asks, as if shocked. “In this kind of suburb? Are you insane?”
“We have a gate.” Hee Do rolls her eyes. “Are you stupid?”
She swears she sees Yu Rim open her mouth to retort in annoyance but she just cuts in. “Hold on.”
Hee Do doesn’t give her any other warning besides that before letting go of the arm secured around Yu Rim’s back to grab onto the windowsill. Yu Rim’s grip around her neck is painfully tight but Hee Do did tell her to hold on. Sighing, she uses her grip on the windowsill to help pull both their weights onto the window.
For a second, Hee Do perches on the windowsill, balancing herself best as she can with Yu Rim in her arms before they both come tumbling to the ground with the misstep of her foot.
Bam.
Hee Do’s back hits the ground with a wave of pain echoing through her bones as she groans. She can’t breathe and her chest feels compressed, when she hears a sharp whisper in the darkness only to realize Yu Rim fell on top of her.
“Sorry.” Yu Rim whispers.
“It’s fine. Just, please get off me.” Hee Do croaks weakly.
Again, she’s glad the cover of darkness hides the blush in her cheeks from the sensation of Yu Rim’s breath on her lips. She feels Yu Rim roll off her, meeting the ground with a thud next to her as she gasps for air. Hee Do stares straight up at the ceiling for a second, rethinking all the decisions that led her to this point.
Leaving the house by slamming her door so hard that it would make even Coach Yang worry for the consequences that would’ve awaited her when she came back home.
Taking a walk in one of the more dangerous suburbs, not immediately breaking into a run when she heard another person’s breathing in the alley.
Finding Yu Rim and her stupidly kind intentions to return that stupid saber.
Sneaking a girl into her room.
Hee Do prays that her mother is too engrossed in her work to hear both of them falling through the window. After a few minutes of lying side-by-side in the dark, she’s surprised to hear breathless laughter echo from Yu Rim’s lips. She turns her head to the side with a quizzical look. A strip of light just illuminates Yu Rim’s upper face from the window, streetlights providing a faint light.
She looks past the small cuts above Yu Rim’s eyebrow, the dirt on her nose to see her dark brown eyes sparkling.
Hee Do notices the soft glint in Yu Rim’s eyes as she laughs, clutching her stomach as she does so. Hee Do’s breath freezes in her throat for the moment as she admires the curve of the corner of Yu Rim’s eyes.
“What?” Hee Do retorts, self-conscious that Yu Rim is laughing at her.
Yu Rim slowly calms down before sighing, eyes wide and glittering as she stares at Hee Do, her expression concealed by the darkness. “Nothing. It’s just… weird.”
“You’re crazy.” Hee Do mutters, finally sitting up and feeling the effects of her long walk back and forth from her house in the warm summer nights of her suburbs, especially with another person in her arms.
Hee Do stands up, grabbing for her table to hold onto. She makes her way across the room carefully, making sure to not step on Yu Rim – despite how much she wishes to ‘accidentally’ do so and call it an accident. When Hee Do touches the other side of the room’s wall, she leans against it for a moment.
She casts her gaze before Yu Rim laying on the ground, eyes fluttering shut every few seconds along with the heavy rise and fall of her chest. Her messy hair splays out on the ground. Hee Do can’t help admire the view for a moment again. It became far less common for Hee Do to have the opportunity to freely stare at Yu Rim without getting sneered at than when Hee Do hadn’t even met Yu Rim in person yet and was just a fangirl.
That was long gone now, though.
Hee Do switches on the light, fingers fumbling by the switch. The reality is, Yu Rim is just as human as Hee Do. Yu Rim isn’t obligated to be kind to everyone she meets, her skill in the art of fencing doesn’t mean anything for who she is as a person. Hee Do knows this, yet sometimes she daydreams what it is to have someone who loves fencing and comics as much as her as a friend.
Hee Do kneels down before Yu Rim, grabbing her by the armpits to pull her up, to which she doesn’t even protest to anymore. Yu Rim just winces hard, gritting her teeth to visibly hide her pain. She sets Yu Rim by the side of her bed.
The harsh light of her room sets the reality of Yu Rim’s injuries. Hee Do grasps Yu Rim’s chin, tilting her head this way and that way to inspect her wounds. Black eye, bruised cheek, red welts and dirt all over her face.
“Hee Do-yah.” Yu Rim’s voice comes out in this hoarse way that does weird things to Hee Do’s stomach as her fingers tighten around Hee Do’s wrist, forcing her hand to a still for their eyes to meet.
Yu Rim has no right being this pretty even when she’s half-beaten. “W – what?”
“Stop that.” Yu Rim breathes raggedly, eyes suddenly averting from Hee Do’s with colour in her cheeks.
“Okay.” Hee Do swallows, her mouth unusually dry.
They stay like that for a moment before Hee Do drops her hand. She just looks at Yu Rim, who looks literally anywhere else than Hee Do as if embarrassed. Hee Do looks at the soft curve of Yu Rim’s jaw, tainted with a swelling cut, or the heart-shape of her lips, split with dried blood in the centre.
“Where else did they–” Hee Do sits back on her heels, her words pausing in her mouth when Yu Rim’s eyes flicker back to hers. “... do that.”
“I – I don’t know.” Yu Rim answers, sitting back against the bed and hugging her knees to her chest with a frown. “I couldn’t see anything at all… I guess they just hit me everywhere they could.”
Hee Do restrains herself from cussing. “What did you lose?”
“Your sabers, um – some money.” Yu Rim says guiltily before hesitating.
“Anything else?”
“My cellphone. My mum’s going to be so upset.” Yu Rim says, her voice suddenly growing somber.
Oh shit. Why does Hee Do suddenly feel sad? Something about that dejected expression on Yu Rim’s face as she speaks about her mother makes Hee Do remember the way she had cried that one time when she was six and broke a toy her dad made her because she had tripped. She was so upset, thinking her dad would yell at her for it.
He didn’t. He had hurriedly asked her if she was injured and upon his relief, had said he was just glad she was okay. He told her things like the toys could be fixed and replaced, but she couldn’t be replaced for him.
“It’s okay, Yu Rim-ah.” Hee Do finds herself echoing his words as Yu Rim’s eyes meet hers, beginning to shimmer. “I’m – she’ll be glad you’re okay. Your cellphone can be replaced but you as your mum’s daughter is something that can’t.”
“She spent a lot of money on it.” Yu Rim mumbles. “For me. She could’ve put it towards something else important, like our debts but she didn’t.”
“Because she loves you.” Hee Do tries to comfort her.
Yu Rim seems to accept this somewhat, the corners of her lips curving in a way that contagiously makes Hee Do smile herself. This experience is strange, to say the least.
“I guess so.”
In some circumstances, that statement isn’t true for Hee Do. Her own mother spends quite a lot of money on useless gifts for Hee Do on her birthday that she doesn’t really care for. Maybe, it’s because, somewhere deep inside Hee Do, she wishes for the kind of love Yu Rim’s mum shows her with her affectionate hugs.
But then, her family weren’t financially stable. You couldn’t have both, Hee Do supposes. At least they’re happy. And a complete family.
Hee Do doesn’t care if her mother has all the money in the world. She just wants–
Yu Rim seems to notice her gloomy expression, eyes glancing at her with concern. Hee Do stands up, not wanting to Yu Rim to see her in this sorry state despite how it should be the other way around. She turns her back to Yu Rim, sighing silently.
“I’ll – I’ll get some ice for you. If I can, I’ll try getting some medicine but no promises. My mother doesn’t really like having people over.” Hee Do mutters in some lame excuse.
Anything to get out of this depressingly quiet atmosphere. She places her hand on the doorknob, bracing herself internally. Her mother doesn’t even know she’s home, let alone with someone else in the house. Hee Do just has to act normal.
Her mother probably wouldn’t even notice anything wrong. She never did.
Hee Do closes the door behind her when she’s met with the rare sight of Jae Kyung sitting on the couch, leaned over on the coffee table her father had built for them with newspapers and a pencil in her hand. She doesn’t even turn around.
“You’re back.” Jae Kyung’s pencil doesn’t stop scribbling and she doesn’t look up.
Hee Do tries to not act upset. She expected anger, screaming or even annoyance, much like what had happened just before Hee Do left. She didn’t expect her mother to simply not care, unbothered. Like she expected nothing less from Hee Do. Hee Do forces herself to walk across the room to the kitchen, keeping her gaze to the ground.
“Hee Do. I’m talking to you.”
“There’s nothing to say to what you just said.” Hee Do opens the fridge with more force than needed. “I’m back, yeah, what about it?”
Her jaw tightens when she hears the tip of Jae Kyung’s pencil snap but she keeps scribbling as if nothing happened.
“Why didn’t you come back through the front door?” Jae Kyung says, absent-mindedly.
“It was locked.”
“It’s not.”
“Then I guess I’m just fucking stupid.”
“Watch your tone and language when you speak to me.”
Hee Do forces open a drawer, grabbing a plastic bag. She grinds her teeth. She doesn’t know why she’s so mad for, why she feels this burning urge to bite back at everything her mother says.
Hee Do doesn’t care for the biting cold that pierces her skin as she shoves ice cubes from the fridge into the plastic bag. If this happened to Yu Rim and her mum, she would’ve been the one to speak politely and apologize to her mum. But Hee Do isn’t Ko Yu Rim. Her mother had let her known this multiple times over the year whenever she spoke about becoming Yu Rim’s rival.
“What are you doing, Hee Do?” Jae Kyung asks her, her stupid pencil scribbling finally ceasing.
“It’s hot.” Hee Do’s hand fists around the plastic bag.
She turns around, slamming the fridge door shut. Jae Kyung’s stopped writing over the newspapers, her pencil’s on the table. She regards Hee Do with an unreadable expression, something that just pisses Hee Do off.
Without another word, she stomps back to her room, walking past her mother. She opens the door, watching her mother’s head drop back down to continue her writing as she closes the door. When Hee Do turns around, her face immediately burns up at the sight of Yu Rim.
First of all, Yu Rim’s taken her shirt off. Hee Do doesn’t remember if she asked Yu Rim to take off her clothes at all or anything but just the sight of her bare skin and the flex of her back muscles beneath her sports bra genuinely makes Hee Do go dizzy for a second.
Second of all, Hee Do hasn’t taken out her trash in her bins in her room for maybe over a month. That means everything she had thrown in then is inside there. That includes her posters of Yu Rim that she had torn up and ripped from her walls after meeting her.
The photograph of Yu Rim winning her first gold medal, saber raised to the sky and helmet torn off with her victorous cry on her lips that had made it to headlines. That one had been Hee Do’s favourite. The other of Yu Rim’s ad for banana milk, newspapers praising Yu Rim, literally any scrap of media from the last few years with anything about Yu Rim.
The ones that are currently scattered across the ground, with Yu Rim staring up at her with these wide eyes that Hee Do can’t read.
Yu Rim suddenly seems to snap out of whatever she was in, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry. The bin… fell over and I was cleaning up.”
Hee Do drops the bag of ice cubes fall to the ground before quickly crossing over, crouching over to gather all the torn pictures of Yu Rim from newspapers, magazines and even some of her own drawings. God, this is so embarrassing. Hee Do can’t look at Yu Rim now, she refuses. She’s never going to live it down after this.
Hee Do hopes her hair conceals enough of her face to hide the fierce blush on her cheeks.
“I can help–” Yu Rim’s hands enter her vision to attempt to grab some of the torn newspapers.
“No.” the words come out harsher than Hee Do means them to be and her hand pauses as it comes in contact with Yu Rim’s.
“No… thank you. It’s fine.” Hee Do finally gathers all the newspapers and chucks them back in the bin, cursing her lazy self for never taking the overflowing bin out.
This is so embarrassing. When Hee Do musters the courage to look up, Yu Rim looks guilty. Her fingernails dig into her the skin of her palm.
How is it, that Yu Rim always seems to look so flawless? Even when she’s a menacing, hypercritical and hard-headed idiot, God decided to for some reason bless her with beauty. It was something Hee Do had admired, loved even, when she had idolized Yu Rim. She spent hours finding any media of Yu Rim, her inner fangirl giggling with every picture she found.
Hee Do had been perfectly fine with admiring from afar.
Yu Rim is still as beautiful as she was when Hee Do had been nothing but a fangirl, yet somethings did change. Hee Do’s eyes involuntarily trace her almond-shaped face, those silky jet-black locks that seem to always shine.
It’s unfair. It’s unfair how someone can look this effortlessly pretty, while almost being the worst person in the world, while also being Hee Do’s idol, the most talented person in the world.
It’s unfair that Yu Rim looks irresistable despite her injuries, her strong and muscled arms, the slim curve of her waist with her toned abs. It’s unfair that Yu Rim’s smile always makes Hee Do’s heart skip a beat everytime, yet never being directed to her. It’s unfair that her eyes shine brighter than any star in the sky could, with that twinkle.
Hee Do had scoffed at Ji Woong at their first meeting, for admiring her looks so closely and wantingly, but in the end Hee Do is just as guilty.
“Hee Do-yah? Are you okay?” Yu Rim asks hesitantly, snapping Hee Do from her daze.
Her next words come out more quieter, as if she’s embarrassed. “I’m sorry for snooping in your stuff–”
“It’s fine.” Hee Do quickly changes the subject, wanting to talk about literally anything else than that. “It doesn’t matter.”
Hee Do grabs the bag of ice, wanting to press her own face into it to cool down the hotness of her cheeks.
“Come, sit on the bed.” Hee Do gestures to the bed. “The ice will help with the swelling… I think.”
Yu Rim plods over hesitantly, before sitting on the edge of Hee Do’s bed. The bed slightly leans to the side with an added weight. Hee Do sucks in a startled breath at the sight of the welts and growing bruises all over Yu Rim’s back, yet having to stop herself for admiring her.
The muscles on Yu Rim’s back tense attractively, flexing when Hee Do presses the ice pack to one of the welts.
The sound that comes from Yu Rim’s mouth is just straight-up inappropriate. She arches her back so slightly, groaning with relief. Hee Do doesn’t know why this makes her blush but it does. She rubs the cool ice all over Yu Rim’s back, drizzling some of the melted ice and rubbing it against her skin with her thumb.
Yu Rim sighs, relaxing onto Hee Do’s bed. “That feels good.”
Yu Rim’s skin is cooler to the touch now, Hee Do can’t help but run her thumb over the defined curves of Yu Rim’s muscles. She feels Yu Rim shiver outwardly and she stops, embarrassed. Hee Do hopes they both never ever mention what happened back at school tomorrow.
“Can you… can you do it lower– fuck… that feels nice.”
Some of the redness on the welts on Yu Rim’s back begin to fade slightly but Hee Do knows they will hurt like bitches later, as well as her bruises. There’s nothing she can do to stop those. A comfortable silence fills the room, occasionally interrupted by some groans from Yu Rim’s mouth that makes Hee Do’s face burn up for some reason.
“You know…” Yu Rim turns her head slightly to the side to look back at Hee Do.
Even her side profile is beautiful, fucking God.
“I thought you were making fun of me when you said you idolized me back then.”
The icepack fumbles in Hee Do’s hand and a heat blooms in her cheeks. She bites down hard on her teeth but refuses to break that eye contact with Yu Rim.
“Yeah?” Hee Do responds with, voice quiet. “Well, you know now that I did idolize you.”
“You had every photo of me in there.” Yu Rim continues, to the downfall of Hee Do’s pride. “Some I didn’t even know they had on the news.”
“Yeah I did.” Hee Do agrees, unsure of how to continue the conversation.
When Yu Rim’s clearly waiting for her to keep talking, Hee Do swallows hard. She’s never really had the chance to talk to her idol as her idol and not her enemy or something. Yu Rim turns her head all the way around and Hee Do stares at her.
“I had every picture of you. I would run around asking people if they had newspapers from last year, or from that month I missed one of the tournaments where you won and I’d rip the posters from the walls around the restaurants to put on mine.” Hee Do doesn’t have the ability to even feel embarrassed anymore.
“I don’t know if Coach Yang ever told you but I tried a lot of methods to get to Tae Yang when my mother didn’t let me. I got in school fights, went to bars underage and probably would’ve done a lot more if Coach Yang didn’t accept me.” Hee Do continues, rubbing the ice against Yu Rim’s back awkwardly.
“I liked you a lot, Ko Yu Rim. You were the reason I kept fencing when I was in my slumps, you were my reason to keep fencing.” Hee Do gazes into Yu Rim’s eyes. “I wanted to be like you, Yu Rim-ah.”
Yu Rim’s the first one to break eye contact. She looks away, facing forward again. Hee Do’s sure she probably just made a fool of herself but Yu Rim’s the one that has to deal with it now. She’s tired from everything that’s happened today already.
The silence is less comfortable than the last, deafening even.
“I knew who you were, Na Hee Do.”
Hee Do’s taken aback. She blinks, tilting her head to the side to scrutinize Yu Rim and try to get a look at her expression.
“Before you even introduced your name, before you came to Tae Yang.” Yu Rim admits, staring straight ahead.
“You knew me?” Hee Do scoffs, in disbelief. “I refuse to believe that. I only became noticed because of you and what happened at the Asian Games.”
“The Hongdae Juniors Fencing Competition, sound familiar?” Yu Rim’s hands press against her bedsheets.
“Well…” Hee Do runs her memory for anything.
If she had met Ko Yu Rim in a competition, she was bound to remember it. She’d been to many, many, competitions when she was younger.
“Not really. I’ve been to like ten of those in Hongdae.” Hee Do admits guiltily.
“1986? Beginning of February?” Yu Rim offers.
“Nope.” Hee Do sinks to the bed, embarrassed that she hadn’t remembered Yu Rim. “Not at all.”
“Y’know what, doesn’t matter.” Yu Rim says, almost snapping. “I mean, you kicked my ass so hard back that I fell. I was so upset that I was inconsolable for days, my parents couldn’t comfort me.”
Hee Do had beat Yu Rim when they were younger? Hee Do racks her memory but she had fenced with probably a hundred people by now.
“I trained everyday since then, I trained every spare hour, every morning, every night because of how hard you beat me.” Hee Do sees Yu Rim’s hands fist.
“So… I was your kid idol?” Hee Do says, bewildered to say the least.
“Barely. I was disappointed when you started falling off in the next few competitions. I never forgot your name, Na Hee Do, I looked for you in every competition I enrolled in.” Yu Rim continues ranting, as if this had been something weighing on her chest.
“Could you imagine how I felt when you came back after like twelve years, you of all people claiming to idolize me?”
Hee Do’s head actually hurts now. Yu Rim still doesn’t look at her, facing the other way. Yu Rim started fencing and training harder because of her? Just the idea of it doesn’t make sense. But then again, Hee Do isn’t too surprised, Yu Rim seems like the girl to hold childhood grudges.
So… was that why Yu Rim is nice to everyone else except Hee Do?
Well, she just feels stupid now.
“I mean… you could’ve pretended to like me, y’know. It wasn’t the nicest greeting to have someone tell me that I was nothing in the small fencing community when I just started.” Hee Do replies, words coming out harsher than intended as she shuffles closer to Yu Rim’s back.
Hee Do leans over Yu Rim’s shoulder, not wanting her to turn around to ice her arms, stomach and chest because having Yu Rim face her would not be the best of options for her right now.
“And you technically did know me so…” Hee Do adds.
“Yeah. I did.”
Hee Do runs the melting icepack along her shoulderblades. Her fingertips brush along the heated, tense muscles on Yu Rim’s shoulder. She watches the expression on Yu Rim’s face, her head turning as her hard dark eyes staring at Hee Do’s wandering fingers.
Hee Do, in a way, knows Yu Rim more than Yu Rim knows her. She knows how she fences, for one. Hee Do knows the tell of her shoulders before she strikes, how Yu Rim’s lunge is slightly imperfect in the way she leans slightly to one side out of habit, the tension in her defenses that if Hee Do looks closely, she finds gaps in them.
She finds a gap in Yu Rim’s defenses that are hastily thrown up the conceal the expression on her face. Hee Do hears Yu Rim’s rapid breaths, feels the slight rise and fall of her shoulders. Their eyes meet, Yu Rim staring right at her in this way that makes her chest hiccup. Her eyes are so wide, so dark, deep and full of emotions.
“Did you stop idolizing me after what I said?” Yu Rim’s words come out in a whisper, breaths gently touching Hee Do’s own lips. “After you tore down my pictures?”
“I still do.” Hee Do admits. “I still idolize you.”
God, that same sparkle shines in Yu Rim’s eyes again. Hee Do hates what that sparkle does to her, makes her breath catch and her smile widen.
“Yeah?” Yu Rim whispers.
Her heartrate spikes. Her breathing is in shambles. Hee Do closes her eyes and–
Bam.
Hee Do’s eyes fling open and she finds the figure of Jae Kyung standing at her door, the door swung open. Her mother is furious, her eyes contorted and her lips stretched thinly.
“Na Hee Do, you will not be having relations under m–”
Hee Do slides herself off her bed, dashing forward and pushing her mother out of the room before slamming the door shut behind her. Her blood is still roaring in her ears, her heart is still accelerating in her chest and she still can’t breathe properly. More importantly, what the fuck almost happened?!
“Why did you–” Hee Do yells before her mother cuts her off furiously.
“I hear some noises coming from your room and I come to investigate, I hear you talking with someone. Then, I see a girl half-naked on your bed – what are you thinking, Hee Do?!” Jae Kyung points to her door, incredulous.
“It’s not like that!” Hee Do retorts, face burning up.
It did sound bad in that context, Hee Do has to admit.
“You snuck her in your room, didn’t you?” Jae Kyung’s voice echoes in the house. “That’s why you didn’t come through the front door. Out of all the things that could’ve happened–”
“I didn’t–”
“I thought your father and I raised you enough for this. You are only eighteen, Hee Do! Are you insane?! Are you trying to get yourself in trouble?!”
“Listen, its–”
“If this ever gets out to the public–”
Hee Do screams, exploding. “LISTEN TO ME!”
She’s had enough of this, enough of her mother ignoring her and speaking over what she has to say.
“That half-naked girl in there is the national athlete of our country, Ko Yu Rim? Ring a bell, mother?!” Hee Do’s practically screeching at this point, her mother having gone silent. “I snuck her in because I knew you’d react like this, because she’s injured! I was helping her, did you not see all the bruises and welts all over her?”
“Of course, you didn’t!” Hee Do keeps ranting, nostrils flaring. “You always assume the worst of me, even when I try to do something good. You never once believed in me, believe that I can do anything good. Because you never pay attention, you don’t care! You don’t listen!”
She fumes, watching her mother’s expression change.
“Hee Do, I–”
“Save it.” Hee Do rips open the door to her room, before slamming it shut behind her.
She breathes heavily, her fingernails digging painfully into her palm. Hee Do wants to scream, she wants to break something. She brings her hands to her head, digging her nails into the sides of her head. Hee Do grinds down on her teeth hard.
“Hee Do-yah?”
Hee Do looks over to Yu Rim, sitting, looking so perfect and innocent on her bed, with all her bruises and wounds. Hee Do just breaks into tears, thick tears cascading down her cheeks. She buries her head into her hands, sobbing. She wants it all to go away, wants her mother to go away, she hates all of it.
Hee Do hates everything, she hates her mother, she hates the fucking idiots who jumped Yu Rim, the NTC, fencing, Yu Rim for looking so annoyingly perfect and unbothered by literally anything. She hates how her life ended up, thrown away by everyone she’s tried to love. Hee Do loved her father but he left her. She tried to love her mother but she is just unlovable.
Yu Rim’s arms wrap around Hee Do’s waist, pulling her in. Hee Do chokes on her tears, thick tears rolling down her cheeks. She gasps for air, feeling Yu Rim lead her back to her bed. Yu Rim sits down on her bed, Hee Do following after. She holds Hee Do in her lap, rubs comforting circles on her back and tells her she’s going to be okay.
She isn’t.
Hee Do buries her face into the crook of Yu Rim’s neck, fingers clawing at her back as she cries uncontrollably. Her body shakes so hard but Yu Rim’s arms are strong and steady, grounding her. The overwhelming emotions make her head ache, make her chest heave with pain. Yu Rim trails comforting fingertips in her hair, cuddles her.
Neither of them say anything. Well, Hee Do can’t really because of how the hysterical cries overtake her. She wipes at her tears angrily, trying really hard to stop crying. But Hee Do can’t. They spill out of her like a faucet left on.
“Shhh.” Yu Rim hushes her, wiping away a tear with her thumb. “You’re gonna be okay, Hee Do-yah.”
“I’m sorry.” Hee Do chokes. “This is so embarrassing.”
“It’s not. It’s fine, Hee Do.”
Hee Do spends what feels like the next eternity crying into Yu Rim’s arms, cuddled up against her. She cries until there’s no tears left to cry, until she’s left dry. She cries for Yu Rim, her poor mother whose daughter was attacked, her father as well, Hee Do’s father and Jae Kyung.