Chapter Text
Someone call the doctor, baby
Someone call the morgue
'Cause ivory tower shatter
When you show them as they are
I'll burn the stage
Burn the masses
All these bastards
Never mattered
Fuck the fame
Queue the laughter
Listen up, it's the rapture
Adam looked at himself in the mirror for about the fifth time that day. Sucking in his gut and flexing his muscles he looked over himself with a critical eye for the first time in years. He knew he was perfect, the ladies loved him, he looked like The ManTm. So why did Lilith’s comment about him being a ‘prized pig’ bug him so much? It had been a week since her two-faced ass had slithered into Heaven to confront Adam, a week since Lucifer had basically chased her off, and a week since Lucifer had stopped wearing his wedding ring (a little fact that Adam had totally not done a little dance over when he finally noticed it over breakfast the next day). But still he couldn’t get her words out of his head.
’All these years later and the bitch still knows just the thing to ruin my whole fucking mood’, He thought with a sour grumble. He finally gave up and relaxed his body once more. His sucked-in gut fell out again and hung over the top of his jeans. His pecs were squishy, his abs were gone, his thighs were thick, and his ass was fat. Ugh. He was not looking like God’s perfect image anymore. Once upon a time he had been almost as small, lithe, and fit as Lucifer. Once upon a time his waistline was thin and streamline, he had a nice little V (cum gutters, if you would) leading down to The Original DickTM, and a tight ass you could hear clapping all around Eden as he walked.
….Alright so maybe that last part had been exaggerated but the point was he had been hot.
But now he had a dad-bod minus the dad part.
Well, unless you counted all of humanity. But that was beyond the point. The point was that stupid bitch had made him self-conscious and he didn’t need that. He had spent millennia hyping himself up and lying that he had done nothing wrong, that he deserved everything after what had happened to him, and burying his issues under a fuck ton of pussy and attention by inhuman beings.
“What the fuck was she even doing here,” Adam wonders aloud as he moves out of his bedroom towards the kitchen. It was something that had bugged him since the day after he and Lucifer had been together. They had talked about it a little but it had been too raw for Lucifer. He had given Adam a kiss, squeezed his hand, and had gone to rush back to Hell to talk all this over with Charlie. The girlie deserved to know her mom was back in the picture and better she hear about it from her dad. Before he had left Lucifer had promised him he would be back soon.
“Give me a day or two to make sure Charlie is okay, to make sure Hell is okay, then I’ll be back to make sure you are okay,” he had promised before leaving via the Hell portal he had summoned. Adam still remembered how flushed his face had felt after that. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Lucifer being all lovey-dovey. Wait. Yes he did. He wanted more of it. The dinky twinky was making him go all mushy and he actually liked it. ‘I’m such a chick,’ he thinks with a smirk as he opens his fridge while scratching his hairy gut. Huge perk of Heaven: leftovers never went bad and cold pizza was top tier.
Leaning in to grab a slice he shoved half of it into his mouth before chewing, swallowing, and finishing the rest in about two bites. Hm. Maybe he should get rid of all his junk food. Maybe it was time for a change. Everything else was changing, so why not his eating habits? Lute was always going on and on about it so maybe it was about time he listened. The Adam of the past would have snarled like a rabid chihuahua at the idea of listening to a woman but the Adam of now was (trying) to be better. All those jam sessions with Charlie had helped. Lil Miss Rainbows wasn’t as dumb as he once thought. She obviously still had a lot to learn, but bouncing off each other had helped them both. Maybe he should do something nice for her. She deserved a reward for basically re-writing the foundations of Heaven and Hell.
His musings were interrupted by the sound of a creak behind him. He turned and-
Pain.
Pain exploded on the side of his head as something slammed into his temple. He was thrown against the fridge as whoever (whatever) hit him charged the attack. If they had allowed him any time to process the attack he would have been able to use magic, to call his axe, hell even to just throw some holy light. Instead Adam could barely react before something was stuck into his neck. Cold pressure filled his veins as something entered his bloodstream.
’Shit! I’m being drugged?!’ His golden eyes widened in panic, fear, and anger but before he could react the drug was already doing it’s awful work. He heard more than felt his body hit the ground, his halo chipping the tile of his kitchen floor, one of his wings bending the wrong way as his eyes became more and more heavy. He held up a hand towards the group of shadows moving in on him and then-
Nothing.
Lucifer checked his mirror one last time. He was finally on his way back to Heaven to see Adam after more than a week’s absence. He hadn’t wanted to be gone for so long but he had so much to tend to now that Lilith was (possibly) back in the picture. First and foremost he had to tell Charlie. He had rushed to the hotel as soon as he felt comfortable leaving Adam alone and had gone to his daughter. She, Vaggie, and Lucifer had sat down to discuss the sudden development. Lucifer had asked Vaggie to be there to be another person of support for his daughter during this as he both trusted the fallen angel and knew even if he had asked Charlie to speak alone Vaggie would find out sooner or later, so why not cut out the middle man? The choice had been a good one as the ex-Exterminator had brought up a lot of points that Lucifer was far too scramble headed to even consider.
“We should contact the Overlords already apart of the Council, especially Carmilla and Zestial. They know Pride better than any of us and would be able to see a surprise attack a coming a mile away. Zeezi should also be alerted. A lot of rebels follow her and she could get the word out that rebelling against Hell right now would be the worst possible idea. Lilith still has a lot of sway among that crowd and the sooner we put a dent in it, the better."
Seriously if she wasn’t dating his daughter and helping her with the hotel Lucifer would have offered the position of Infernal General to Vaggie right then and there. Not that Hell had an army. That had been part of the truce he and Heaven had signed after the last failed uprising, an event that many still did not fully understand how it had happened. But Lucifer couldn’t help but assume Lilith had been the driving force behind it all. After it had failed she had withdrawn only to come back to him to make an offer he never would have been able to reject.
”Let’s make a baby.”
Now that same baby was all grown and damaged because of her parents issues. He couldn’t make up for the mistakes of the past but he could do his damnedest to make the future brighter. Speaking of making the future better…
Lucifer reached into his pocket to pull out a small black box. He stared at it like he expected it to bite him before snapping it open. Inside was a ring. Not a wedding ring, that was too fast too soon, but it was a ring he had commissioned with Adam in mind. It was made of gold, designed to look like two bird wings bent into the shape of a circle, with a small platinum guitar pick set in-between. On the pick in very small script were two words in Latin, one of the language’s of God.
Angelum meum
‘My angel’
No more pussyfooting around. He wanted Adam and he wanted the man to know it. They had been playing this ‘will we wont we’ game for more than a year now and with Lilith trying to force her way back into his life it was time to make the first move, if anything for his own sake. Looking back at his relationship with Lilith he could see the multiple red flags. Once upon a time he thought she chose him because both of them wear dreamers forced into someone else’s plan, someone else’s design, and maybe that had been what brought them together. But he could see the multiple cracks. He had stopped dreaming after The Fall and Lilith had been full of fear at first, until the first Sinners began to appear. Then she went from his beloved to his Queen. She had a people to lead, to inspire, all while Lucifer mourned the people he had lost. Sera, Emily, Micheal, the other Seraphim, his Father…
Adam.
Lilth had found her family, her people, while he had lost his. He had tried to encourage her, had tried to follow her into the darkness, but found himself constantly looking up at Heaven’s light and wondering if any of them were looking down back at him.
Now he had his light back and he was going to make it official. He was going to do it right this time. He was just about to create a portal to Heaven’s gates when his phone went off. It played a bugle charge, the song for battle, and he recognized it as the tone Adam had chosen when he had put Lute’s number in Lucifer’s phone. Odd. Lute had never reached out to him before. Truthfully the two interacted only when on official business or the rare time he wanted to find Adam but couldn’t. Having her call him out of the blue like this made a cold shiver travel up his spine. He shook it off and picked the device up before hitting answer. He didn’t get the chance to speak before Lute barked out an order in a tone that left no room for argument.
”We need you in Heaven, outside the Courts, now.”
Lucifer arrived in record timing. Truthfully he would have been here sooner except he had stopped to grab Charlie. Something about Lute’s tone and the way she had demanded that he, King of Hell, appear without any explanation before hanging up? He didn’t need to know a lot about the Heavenborn to know she was a bit of a bootlicker and speaking to authority like that just wasn’t in her holy DNA. Even when she was around Adam she still used words like ‘sir’ and ‘commander’ so having her speak to him like this…
‘Don’t panic, don’t panic, it could be nothing,’ He lied to himself as he appeared in the lobby of the hotel. She and Vaggie had been running a course on appropriate forgiveness giving gifts (the cannibals had a hard time fathoming not everyone wanted a severed arm attached to a ‘I’m sorry’ note) and he had basically yanked them away with a quick ‘EMERGENCY’ yelled over his shoulder. Alastor, as much as Lucifer hated the man, seemed to see the look of panic on Lucifer’s face and stepped in to smooth things over.
“Nothing to panic over my dears! Just a bit of a family squabble…”
He didn’t hear the rest as he shoved the two shouting girls through the portal outside Heaven’s gates. The normally chipper, upbeat Saint Peter was absent. That alone made the alarm bells going off in the Original Sin’s head turn into full blown defcon level sirens.
“Dad! What’s going on?!” Charlie begged for about the millionth time. She rarely saw her dad look so panicked. The first had been when he had come to Charlie in hopes she knew where Lilith had gone, the second had been when he had appeared to tell her she was back. Now she could see he was barely holding it together. His eyes were already red with golden irises, his horns were poking out from under the brim of his hat, and his tail was whipping around in a show of clear agitation.
“I don’t know pumpkin, I don’t know. All I know is it’s bad and we have to go to the Courts right now,” He went to the gates and touched them. They opened for him, which was both comforting and made his stomach sink even further. It felt less like a welcoming gesture and more like he was walking into his doom. The three of them ran through the gates, Vaggie with her summoned spear in one hand with her spear in the other, speaking words of encouragement and comfort to (he assumed) Charlie.
“It’ll be okay, I promise it’ll be okay. This is probably nothing, just breathe. Just breathe.”
Father above he hoped she was right.
The scene outside the Courthouse was madness.
Winners and Sinners gathered with looks of horror, sadness, anger, and panic. Some lingered together, embracing, while others screamed at each other in a hysterical rage while angels of higher power did what they could to control the crowd. Lucifer could see Sera and Emily standing at the head of it all with a line of Powers* with flaming swords held at the ready and even a few Ophanim keeping their ever watchful eyes on the crowd. When one saw Lucifer it must have sent a signal as suddenly all eyes were turned towards him in a way that brought back memories-
-all those eyes on him, watching, judging, fingers pointing, swords at the ready, his halo ripped away, chains dragging him from Heaven towards the edge of the pit as he cried and screamed for them to just LISTEN-
-he did not want to dwell on right now.
He pushed past the crowd and was surprised when the line of defense separated like the great sea for him. Except instead of the promise land he was lead towards the High Seraphim and her little sister. Only now did he also catch sight of Lute, standing with tears running down her eyes and her prosthetic hand clasped over her mouth, her gaze drawing his up the courthouse steps to-
No.
No.
Lucifer moved forward a step as his world shattered.
The holy Courthouse, like most of Heaven, was designed to be beautiful and yet authoritative. Stiff lines, gold trim that never lost their shine, cold marble, an oppressiveness that could smother you if you let it. Outside stood a statue of Michael himself with his sword held high, wings outspread, a stern look on his face, and the words ‘Deus miserere animae tuae’ carved in a plaque underneath. A plaque that was now stained with golden blood for above it, nailed into the right calf of the statue, were a pair of wings.
Large.
Powerful.
Golden.
Clumps of feathers lay at the base of the statue and as he watched another became lose and drifted to the ground, becoming dull and lifeless as it joined a growing pile. A roll of parchment had been stuck to the wings with a string of barbed wire, a note written in what looked like dark ink, with large scrawled letters to proclaim a message for all to see:
’DEATH TO THE HOLY’
Lucifer could feel himself falling to his knees. Elsewhere he could hear voices yelling, could hear Charlie screaming and crying, Vaggie shouting, but he couldn’t-
He just couldn’t.
‘Why can’t I move? Why can’t I speak? Why…’
A gentle breeze shifted the disembodied wings and one of the long, golden, primary feathers was jostled loose. It blew towards him and he could only watch as it flitted, twirled, and danced before landing before him as if guided by an unseen hand. It’s golden sheen was already fading to a dull bronze as he picked it up with shaking hands. He held the soft feather and it was cold. Oh God it was cold.
Adam.
Where was Adam.
Why wasn’t he here?
Where was his angel?
He was broken from his grief by the harsh, cold, authoritative voice of Sera from behind him.
“I knew you demonic filth should have never been allowed past the gates. I should have known something like this would happen,” She snarled before turning to glare hatred down at Lucifer. He didn’t, couldn’t, respond. He knew she was speaking to him but he couldn’t look away from the sight before him. The more he looked, the more he saw. He saw the white of the humerus bone protruding from the mess of golden gore and torn covert feathers. He saw that it hadn’t been a clean cut, that Adam’s wings had been literally torn from his body, and he could see where rough hands had torn feathers out while holding them to preform this butchery. He could see so much. Too much.
Sera turned to address the gathered crowd and her own wings flared out behind her. The great eyes of Heaven opened across her body and every soul, pure and tainted, felt their terrible gaze as she spoke in a voice that thundered across the planes of Heaven.
“Adam, First Man and Commander of The Exorcists, is dead. Murdered! Slain by the hands of a Sinner!”
That seems to shake Lute out of her own shocked grief and she turned, mouth agape, horrified by this proclamation. Both she and Emily seemed to share the same thought process but it was Emily who spoke first.
“Sera! You can’t possibly know that! We have no proof! We-”
”Enough!”
The word hit like a physical wave, forcing everyone but Emily and Lucifer back in a shock wave of holy power. Sera towered over her sister with eyes that glowed white with holy fire and judgement as she spoke.
“The proof I need is in front of me, Emily. A Winner would never preform such barbaric acts, let alone lay a hand on one of their own. This is an act of terrorism, of evil, and I will not risk all of Heaven on the SLIM chance this was anything but what it looks like: the murder of the First Man,” With a snap of her fingers she summoned her great sword and held it high above her head. Emily and the rest could only watch in horror as Sera proclaimed her judgement for all of creation to hear.
“I, High Seraphim of Heaven and God’s chosen, hereby banish all demonic souls from the lands of Heaven forever more!”
Cries of panic and horror filled the air as the gathered Sinners backed away, suddenly turned upon by the Powers who seemed to appear en masse as if they had been awaiting the order to carry out holy judgement. But instead of slaughtering the gathered souls they began to herd them out of the main square, out of the Heavenly gates, towards the edge. Some Winners (friends, family, perhaps lovers?) of the hereby banished damned souls refused to allow this to happen. So they fell with them. Others were ripped away, forced to watch in horror as the one they thought they had lost forever was thrown over the edge into the darkness of Hell below.
Emily, Lute, Charlie, and Vaggie were the ones who reacted the strongest. Lute and Vaggie fought to hold the oncoming horde of angelic warriors off as Emily begged, pleaded, with Sera to stop this! To wait! To listen! But she was flung aside as Sera approached the still frozen Lucifer. He hadn’t been able to move. All of this was happening too fast, too much, too soon, it was his Fall all over again. He turned to look at Sera and her raised sword. A part of him wanted her to finish it, to kill him, maybe then he could chase Adam and find where his precious angel had gone. But instead of taking his head she tore the feather from his hand and hissed in his face.
“This is all your fault, Lucifer. I hope you and your brat are happy. Adam was right about you,” And with that she turned away but not before summoning a portal under Lucifer. He had no time to react to the sudden rush of air, the sudden heat, the fall. The last thing he heard was Charlie scream of ‘DAD!’ before the portal slammed shut and all he saw was darkness.