Work Text:
“ Red !”
The belt fell from Mile’s hands with an unceremonious clink onto the mattress. He collapsed after it, chest heaving now not only from exertion but from the traitorous sobs that threatened to escape his mouth. His trembling fingers clenched into the blanket beneath him, drawing it over his face and biting down to conceal this sudden, mortifying loss of control.
“Hey, hey, Miles, baby, it’s okay. Come here. Look at me.” The prosecutor only held on tighter, screwing his eyes shut and curling in on himself as acid panic twined slowly around his chest. Although he knew exactly why, Phoenix was the one who had used his safeword. Miles should still be concerned for his welfare, not the other way around. Selfish. Undeserving. Incompetent. Incapable of controlling your childish emotions for long enough to give back to the man who gave you everything. Weak. Guilty-
“Miles!” The genuine concern in his husband’s voice, and the gentle but firm pressure of his hands around Mile’s wrists was enough to snap him out of his spiral of self-hatred long enough to open his eyes to meet Phoenix’s own. Blue and brown were still almost entirely consumed by black, but any hint of desire was entirely replaced with worry. Miles allowed him to pull his hands away from his face, laying bare the way his lip quivered, the flush of his cheeks, the hot tears that glimmered on the edge of spilling. Miles thinks he might be sick.
“I’m s-sorry.” he whispers, eyes falling shut again, allowing wet shame to trickle down his cheeks. Phoenix shushes him, wrapping his arms around the other man, rubbing soothing circles into the muscles wracking under his fingertips.
“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He murmurs sweet comfort punctuated with chaste kisses into Miles’ neck. “ I’m sorry. It’s been a rough week, huh?” Miles nods jerkily, breath still stuttering against Phoenix’s chest. “We’ve talked about this Mi, you don’t have to push yourself for me when you’re not feeling good. I love you, and I want you to enjoy yourself too, okay? You don’t have to suffer for me.”
Miles sniffles. “You suffer for me.”
Phoenix huffs out a fond laugh, snaking one arm to comb through Miles’ hair, gentle fingers scraping the fuzz of his undercut. “You know what I mean. I enjoy suffering for you. When it’s sexy.” Miles rolls his eyes, but the gesture lacks venom. He curls further into Phoenix, drowning in the scent of him as his breathing steadies, sweat and cheap cologne and home . He wedges his knee between Phoenix’s thighs, craving to be as close as physically possible to the man without literally crawling under his skin, and inadvertently bumps his flagging erection, making the attorney hiss.
“Do you want me to-“
Phoenix interrupts. “No, baby. We’re done. I tapped out, remember? Let’s just stay here for a bit, and we’ll talk later, yeah?”
Safe in Phoenix’s arms, Miles feels the exhaustion of the previous days crawling back into his bones, and for once in his life, he doesn’t have it in him to argue.