Work Text:
“What the hell happened?”
Trost was sleeping. The doors got open violently and Levi appeared behind wearing a suit and with papers on his left hand. He supported his body weight on the right side majorly, since the leg wasn’t healed enough to walk normally. He had been doing office work, and planned to stay tuned to Erwin’s return so he could give him additional instructions. And he did, yeah, or so he heard. But never imagined that he would find the commander gravely wounded and unconscious in the bed, nurses and doctors around him as ants trying to lift a piece of bread together.
“Captain! Situation report!” Bald guy called for Levi’s attention, a hand on his chest and dirty all over the brat’s uniform. Levi looked at him and gave him a nod, eyes wandering from bed to cadet so he could get a peak of Erwin’s messy hair, the left hand hanging from the edge of the bed, and the blood . It was the worse part.
“Eren and Historia returned with us, sir. Commander Erwin was wounded by an abnormal titan that ate his right arm, sir. He stopped the bleeding but then he got unconscious after the mission.”
Connie was looking for an expression on Levi’s face but didn’t have any exit. Levi Ackerman was stoic until he wasn’t, blood pumping on his veins with fear and rage, with something as a tremor invading hands and lungs. Suddenly breathing was costing him too much, so he nodded and dismissed the brat and tried to follow the bunch of medics that carried Erwin to a more aseptic place. A nurse stopped him on his way before entering the surgery room, she put a hand on Levi’s chest and forced him to take his eyes apart from Erwin’s laying form.
“We will do everything we can, Captain.” The girl was young, but experience flowed on her eyes and manners so Levi had to trust, even if he would absolutely love to take care of Erwin’s wounds by himself. He wasn’t a professional, he had to keep his hopes up to avoid breaking and barking as a mad dog.
“Call me immediately when you guys finish.” That’s the final order he gave, his face didn’t reflect any worry or sorrow but the nurse could identify the tremor in his voice, the lingering of his eyes trying to get a peek inside. She nodded, even if it’s completely normal that the medical team forget those kinds of instructions after a twelve hour surgery. However it was the most effective thing to do, because Levi left the military hospital and directed his steps to Erwin’s office.
‘Four eyes’ was already waiting for him on the visitor’s side of the desk. Levi sat on Erwin’s chair directly because the increasing pain of his leg was affecting the equilibrium of his body.
“You went? To the hospital” Hange asked first, looking attentively to Levi’s thoughtful expression. They didn’t go on the mission, so it was useless to ask them for more information. Levi suddenly felt exhausted, worry creeping out of his skin as worms in a dead body. No, he shouldn’t think about death now, his mind said.
“Couldn't stay in the surgery.”
“Well, that's obvious.” They replied with a middle tone of amusement in their voice. Levi hated them for it, for… laughing on his moment of vulnerability. “Levi, he’ll be ok.”
“How would you know? You weren’t even there” The ants were trying to lift Erwin’s life and get it back to the Earth, he thought. He needs to wake up, the bastard, because he promised things to Levi that no one would have promised in their right minds and they have so much work to do yet. Erwin was the brain after all, and Levi the hands. How the fuck a body can function without a brain?
“Well, because staying there rooting on your own misery will not make him recover.” Hange said this as if it was the most obvious shit said in 856 years of civilization.
“Then what the hell are you doing here? Erwin’s absence doesn’t mean we can rest, shitty glasses.” Levi inquired, anger dominating his voice. Hange looked at him thoughtfully and then nodded.
“I was making sure you wouldn’t collapse too.” They left words in the air, stepping out of the office “I know how close you two had become.”
Close . What a stupid fucking word. And even with all that, it was painfully fit. Levi had deep-rotted a little bit to Erwin’s life, if he was being honest. They were together all the time, Levi was always disposed to protect the major defender of humanity, even if it meant to kill, do illegal shit, betray the king.
He shocked his head, already aiming to complete the unfinished tasks accumulated on the fist drawer on the right. There was a bunch of stuff down there, and Levi got a headache as a result of reading for a long time. He did his best job though, reports written with his best calligraphy and the sweat of his trembling hand. Uneasiness was all around his bones and thoughts, poisoning the unconscious images that came to his mind as vivid memories even if they weren’t real.
Levi was asleep on Erwin’s chair, just because he convinced himself about the laziness to walk all over the way to reach his bed. Levi never was lazy. It just felt right, to keep his place clean and warm while he was gone. As his fucking wife, he thought with a pang on his chest, surely if I could I would make dinner, and then iron the shirts and do all the laundry. I would put on makeup and my best clothes to receive him on the door.
There was a knock at the door, and Levi got easily awake from his drowsy state. It was dawn, so he had no idea who could be, unless Erwin had…
“Levi?” A smooth voice came from the dark hallway. He got up quickly to get close to it.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” Levi was soon by her side. She had a scent of flowers coming from the countryside, and her clothes were remarkably chosen for the rush to get to the city of Trost.
“I heard the news, someone said commander Erwin arrived here unconscious.” She spoke softly, as her hand went to Levi’s cheekbone. “I had to be sure you were alright.”
“He’s not going to die.” Levi answered quietly, letting his face be caressed by her. Kuchel looked at her son, gray eyes identical to his own, and pronounced a silent ‘No’. Levi was lost again on the warmth of his mother and the way everything she said easily became true.
“Would you like a cup of tea? I got your favorite tea leaves when you were little.” She looked for something inside the pockets of her dress and opened the tiny bag she carried there. Levi smelled the scent of his childhood, moments from a long time ago suddenly coming to him as a spell. He nodded and guided her way to the kitchen.
The barracks were completely empty that night. As they should be, Levi thought, because no one would be eating (except probably Potato Girl) at three a.m. His mother took a seat on the closest table while Levi got started the fire so the water could boil. He brought his own tea set that he and Erwin kept inside one of the drawers. Cautiously he put the lid on the kettle so the only thing remaining was to wait.
“How’s it going? Your life in Nagako.” Levi asked, taking the seat in front of here. They were the only two people occupying a chair in the middle of a sea of hundreds of seats in the dark.
“Oh, it’s pretty nice. The air flows so beautifully.” She replied easily, moving her hands from time to time. Levi always appreciated her grace, the way she keeps her own elegance even if the environment was dulled in darkness, dirt and fear. “But nothing can compare to the sun.”
She spoke dreamily, as if the memory of the first time the sunlight touched her skin were present perpetually, as a slight kiss of freedom. Her bright eyes were even more powerful than the poor candle that illuminated the table center. His mother’s long, black hair moved freely around her shoulders and chest. It was long, well trimmed and bright. She deserved that and so much more Levi sometimes desired to be capable of all those small things that weren’t yet possible.
“I feel the same.” Levi uttered. This evoked a smile on her. The room was illuminated with a warm, opalescent spectrum of color. “Why… Why did you say you wanted to check on me? Erwin’s the one injured.”
Kuchel watched the movements of her son while he stood up and started to pour the boiling water in two elegant cups decorated with a special pattern made of bellflowers and roses.
“I’m your mom, you know.” She declared. “You can’t fool me.”
Levi turned around to face her when the two cups were ready. He… wanted it to be perfect, so he made sure to use the exact same recipe inherited by Kuchel. Preparing tea was an art of patience, or so she said.
“What do you mean?” Levi couldn’t help but smile softly. His expressions weren’t easily masked around the eyes that met him in the first second of his existence.
“I mean that you and him share this beautiful tea kit.” She replied lifting the cup to appreciate the pattern better. Levi unconsciously got curled and tried to protect his face with the other cup. “You can’t say otherwise when I say I had my reasons to check on you…”
“Fine, but what's the difference anyway? If he has to die here, he will do it. But I know it's not going to happen. He… he can’t.” Levi’s brows got furrowed and his cheeks got a pink color.
“You’re right about that.” Kuchel expressed looking deeply in the night. “It’s so hard to leave you behind, my sweet child...”
“Levi! Levi!” Someone shook him by the shoulders. Levi stirred, slowly becoming aware of his own body and his awkward position. “Wake up, Erwin’s awake.”
A beam of light streamed into the office through the window, illuminating the desk with shrewd insistence. Levi awoke from a strange dream that he failed to remember, but he knew it was by no means a nightmare.
His body felt rested in a way it hadn't for a long time. Ready, as if he had the energy to work for days and nights on end. He got up as quickly as he could, carrying with him the important papers from the night before. He put them in his pocket jacket, knowing it was not time to show them.
“How long ago did he wake up?” Levi inquired insistently, letting behind a blurred image of people and places.
“In the early morning.”
Those nurses, they did not even obey his order. If they had told him earlier, he would probably have been sure of Erwin's condition by now, they would have even talked about… whatever.
“And why the fuck nobody told me…” He scolded, opening the door and got interrupted by Erwin’s sitting form on the bed. The place where his right arm should be was buried with piles of bandages and gauzes. It seemed that he was gone for so long a dust of beard started to grow on his jawline.
“What nobody told you?” Erwin asked, his rough voice injured probably by the screams of pain and hopeless recovery. But otherwise he looked fine, more healthy than sick.
“Nothing. Doesn’t matter.” Levi got close to him quickly, following his voice with hidden enthusiasm and relief. “What the hell happened to you, Erwin?”
“Collateral damage. I wasn’t careful enough.” He muttered, looking at his stump just as Levi did. It seemed pretty deep and painful, so he abstained from touching it. “The bastard carried me across the air by my arm and then I fell on a corpse. That saved me, but I didn’t check on their face.”
Levi muttered a swear. Death was so close to them it was ridiculous to keep living, but they did it anyway. His hand wanders through Erwin’s messy, dirty hair, but unequivocally alive. His fingers found the scalp and left a small massage there, a gesture that spoke hundreds of words they could never spell out loud. Erwin closed his eyes and the poetry of their bond reverberated through his body as a delicate, humming song.
“You could’ve died.” Levi pronounced. The sentence sounded wrong by all means, and he had never felt this strong desire to reverse time and just go on the stupid mission to keep an eye on this idiot. Erwin smiled softly through the pain.
“But I didn’t”
“You didn’t.” And mama was right, but he didn’t know why he thought that. “Let me kiss you.”
Erwin’s face turned into a stupid blessed expression. “I feel gross.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Levi took his chin, and even enjoyed the contact with the facial hair he will trim and take care of later. I would kiss your corpse, he thought with reluctance. It's the last thing he would desire to do in his poor, absurd life. But he would do it, even more if that’s what Erwin wanted.
He will do whatever Erwin wants.