Work Text:
It’s just a gift, right?
Matthew holds it out to him. Smiley-faced, bright-eyed. His eyes form the crescents that Gunwook sees in his dreams. He’s insistent.
”Take it!” He presses the teddy further into Gunwook’s body.
Gunwook reaches up with both hands and clutches firmly into the plush. Fingers curling, feeling the soft material fold underneath the weight. “For me?”
”Yeah!” Matthew says with verity in his breath.
It takes everything in Gunwook’s body not to jump on Matthew right now.
A teddy? An innocent, brown-eyed bear with a crescent moon for one eye and a bead for the other? Contrasting to its gray curly fur and round, white stomach. It’s about as long as Gunwook’s forearm, made of the softest fluff.
“I mean, I won it from one of those claw machine things on a show the other day but they let me keep it. So I figured–” Matthew prattles on. Gunwook is barely breathing.
Nevermind listening.
For me. He repeats in his mind. Matthew got this gift for me.
Gunwook’s mind goes into overdrive. It’s not that Matthew has never gotten him a gift before, no—it’s not that. It’s the type of gift it is.
It’s a teddy bear. The kind of thing that boyfriends buy for their partner on Valentine’s day. The type of thing you’re supposed to hold closely at night and think of them. The most pure and simple displays of affection that Gunwook’s mind can think of. And Matthew gave it to him. Not anyone else.
“Why not give it to you, baby?” He winks playfully. It’s almost as if he knows the exact effect that this is all going to have on Gunwook. Gunwook smiles, turning his lips inward to mask just how wide it’s growing, biting his tongue to save his grace.
”Thanks, Matt—“ Gunwook doesn’t fully get the words out. Matthew pats in on the shoulder, letting his touch linger and curve down Gunwook’s arm. Matthew has been unnecessarily clingy recently, but Gunwook won’t be saying anything.
”You’re welcome.” Matthew beams. He squeezes Gunwook’s bicep a little before letting go to step away. Gunwook shivers and feels a warm spot where Matthew’s touch remained.
As Matthew walks away, completely unaware of the overwhelming effect he’s had on Gunwook, the younger grabs onto the bear tightly and inhales his breath.
For me.
Gunwook does not let that bear out of his sight after that.
It sleeps with him, it eats with him, it would go the bathroom with him if Taerae hadn’t already scolded him for it.
‘It’s unhygienic’, Taerae had said. He’d even offered to hold it for him but for some reason Gunwook had been insistent on taking care of it on his own.
The point is, Gunwook will not let the bear go. It’s his. It’s Matthew’s too, it's theirs.
An ambiguous reminder of this little link between him and Matthew that cannot be severed.
It reminds Gunwook of him, how the eclipsed eye mimics Matthew’s when he smiles and the rough tufts of fur are similar to Matthew’s bed head.
Gunwook convinces himself it still smells like Matthew also; even though the reality of it is that Matthew probably held the bear for less than an hour before giving it to him.
But the idea consumes him. This bear is for him. Given to him by Matthew, that must mean something to him.
Gunwook’s crush is just a little pathetic. But he thinks he does a pretty decent job of hiding it.
Okay, maybe not that much.
Another aftermath of a TV show commences. Heightened feelings, the elation of a job well done. Matthew used to hate skinship a few months ago but nowadays, Gunwook finds Matthew clinging to everyone and anyone within arm’s distance.
”Good job today!” Hanbin announces over the crowd. Staff start to disperse and managers slowly coax the members into the background.
Gunwook anxiously holds onto the teddy bear. Its presence had made the TV show hosts swoon so they allowed him to keep it. It sits in the backpack wrapped around the front of his chest. Kind of like a stylish baby carrier of sorts. The hosts had made the joke that Gunwook looks like the bear’s ‘momma’ and even asked ‘where’s pappa’ only for Matthew to raise his hand to it.
‘Really? Oh, yes actually, I see! The bear really does resemble you a bit!’ One of the hosts said.
The rest of the group laughed it off and Matthew made up some story about adopting it from a machine a few weeks ago before Gunwook took over the responsibility.
‘Ah, so he’s the responsible one then.’ Another host spoke.
‘He’s certainly dependable, that’s for sure. And very cute, right?’ Matthew replied.
Gunwook follows the crowd slowly toward the exit door. Minivans wait not too far outside from there. It’s their last schedule of the day but surely most of the members will have something else to do. Either going out to eat together, getting some practice in before bed or getting some well-deserved quality alone time at home.
It’s been a while since Gunwook’s had any of that, he thinks. He hasn’t even had the time to get riled up, let alone the time to release it. Gunwook supposes it’s a good thing really, if there’s one thing he’s learned about living in a dormitory full of men it’s that privacy, no matter how you try to find it, really doesn’t exist.
The noises he hears at night are traumatizing and not to mention what he finds in the bathroom come morning time.
Gunwook shakes viscerally. He’s definitely glad he doesn’t contribute to the decay of the household that way.
But that’s about to change.
”Hey, ‘Wookie.” Matthew slithers up from behind. He wraps his arms through the gaps Gunwook’s created. The reserved backpack is in the way of his chest so Matthew has no other option than to move further down his body. “How’s it going today?”
Gunwook stiffens up. His footsteps are reduced as he drags Matthew along with him. Every step makes Matthew’s body rebound against his. Matthew’s hands interlock around his stomach, thumbs pressing into his shirt and threaten to lift it up.
Matthew’s much smaller than himself so (luckily) Matthew can’t rest his head on Gunwook’s shoulder. So (unluckily) instead, he holds Gunwook tighter and presses into the cusp of his neck.
Wisps of Matthew’s breath tickle the hairs on Gunwook’s nape. Steady, shallow—he swears also that Matthew’s lips brush his skin when he speaks. “Did you have fun?”
Gunwook swallows the spit balling up at the back of his throat. “Yeah, absolutely.”
Matthew hugs him a little tighter as if encouraging him to speak. Gunwook’s brain malfunctions. “Uh, thank you for your hard work today, Matt’. You always know just when to step in—“
”Mhmm.” Matthew nuzzles against his neck. It vibrates and sends a spark of electricity down Gunwook’s spine.
Gunwook starts to freeze.
It’s as if the entire world has stopped spinning. Matthew’s skin is against his. Gunwook feels a rumbling in his stomach, a churning inside him, as if the pit of his muscles are tightening and pulling all the air from his body—
Oh my god. Gunwook needs to get out of here. Quick.
He wraps his hands between Matthew’s and lightly pulls his fingers free. Matthew doesn’t seem to fight it but still refuses to break. “Are you coming out for dinner with us later? We’re gonna get hotpot.”
”Uh, no. I don’t feel so good.” Gunwook gulps down heavily. Matthew tries to peek over his shoulder in concern. Gunwook has to think on his feet. “I mean—I probably should avoid spicy food or something. I’ve been feeling a bit off-beat.”
”We could get something else, if you want? Just you and me—“
”No.” Gunwook strains a laugh through his voice in an attempt to hide the pain. He doesn’t dare turn around to face Matthew lest he see the blush on his face. And the growing pain in his pants. He manages to free himself of Matthew’s vice grip and pull himself into a safe distance. Gunwook coughs and reiterates himself. “No. Sorry. Maybe some other time, though. You enjoy yourself tonight. Okay?”
Matthew tilts his head like a lost dog as Gunwook leaves. “Okay?”
Gunwook has never been more grateful than to return home in a separate vehicle than Matthew. Usually, he’s fighting to take somebody else’s seat. But today, he rushed through them all, throwing himself into the last spot of the first minivan and ultimately forcing Ricky into riding with Jiwoong, Yujin and Matthew. Gyuvin practically glared at Gunwook for separating them.
The ride home was already more awkward than it had to be.
‘Can you take that backpack off already, Gunwook? It’s taking up all the space’. Taerae had complained with his elbow in the side of the bag.
Gunwook didn’t flinch. He kept the backpack perfectly still on his lap the entire ride. Careful not to move it unless he reveals something underneath it.
Most of the members don’t spend long in their home before heading out for something to eat. Hanbin, Jiwoong, Hao, and Taerae all appear to head out first. Gunwook returns to his room and drops the backpack on his bed.
It’s been a hard day, he tells himself. Hard, naturally, having many meanings.
It’s not the first time his body has reacted like that and it certainly won’t be the last. Intense emotions and physical proximity are usually the causes. Intense emotions being his giant crush on Matthew that it seems he can barely control these days. He finds himself in a mess more often than not. With how clingy Matthew is becoming, how much he’s playing into the ‘bit’.
‘Fans love it when we’re close to each other like this’, is what Matthew first started saying. Then he started doing it backstage. Then at home, with the lights off, when no one else is looking.
Everyone assumed he just became more accustomed to the Korean way of showing closeness. Something that it took Matthew some time getting used to. But now it turns out, he likes the attention.
Gunwook hears the front door close again and assumes that he’s alone at last. Well, alone as one can be in a room he shares with another guy. He sighs in the center of the room and walks in small circles.
He can’t do this. He can’t possibly do this. He can’t stop thinking about Matthew’s breath on his neck. The gentle panting and warmth trickling down his spine, the way Matthew’s hands wrapped around his stomach.
Ugh—Gunwook’s stomach twists with desire. It hurts. He knocks his backpack away from the bed so he can sit down. Folding his arms across his chest, he tries to breathe.
But his arms are replaced by Matthew’s in his mind. The way they’d tightly close him in. Gunwook’s neck cranes at the vivid thought of Matthew behind him; body pressing up on him, writhing to touch and tease Gunwook a little more. How Matthew can crawl into his lap and fit there perfectly. Kissing him, indulging Gunwook’s every whim as he works his way on his co—
Gunwook throws himself back onto the bed.
He’s frustrated.
No, he’s beyond frustrated. He’s pent up and horny and there’s only one way to release it.
In a messy, horny blur Gunwook ends up underneath his bed sheets. Phone in his hand, pants off and underwear around his knees (just in case anyone comes home early from dinner—he’s learned the hard way), Gunwook browses one of his favorite porn websites.
Rolling over the thumbnails and pursuing for a couple of seconds, Gunwook’s other hand slowly palms over his bulge and starts him off.
Fuck, he’s so hard it practically hurts, he curses himself.
And the porn is just not doing it for him, sadly. Every video is not to his acquired taste. He starts yet another one, slowly working his fingers of the tip of his dick. He knows himself quite well, or so he likes to think.
A few minutes into it, his mind already starts to wander.
Straight to Matthew, because of course only Matthew could fix this. He’s the cause of Gunwook’s situation, and even a fleeting thought of Matthew through his mind is enough to make Gunwook’s dick twitch.
He shuts off his phone and gives himself a minute to think.
It wouldn’t… be the first time he’s thought of Matthew while jacking off.
Not that he’s done it on purpose, of course. His mind has simply drifted off there maybe once or twice… Or more times than he can count. His crush isn’t helping, and his cock is leaking onto his thumb as he strums it over his slit.
Embarrassment takes over the frustration as Gunwook buries his face in the sheets.
He’s desperate. There’s no denying it. He just wants Matthew to touch him so bad. To be all over him, on him, in him, whatever way he’d prefer.
Gunwook speeds up his ministrations and quietly begins to moan into the sheets.
His hand moves at the perfect pace for his imagination to keep up with. Tongue sticking on the edge of his lips, panting between kisses he’d share if Matthew were there to take them. His hips jut up and toes curl into the mattress. Keeping a steady rhythm as he fucks into his grip; Gunwook’s other hand takes hold of the edge of the pillow his head is on and clings onto it dearly.
He imagines that Matthew is good with his mouth. Tongue swirling around his cock in such an expert way that he’d have Gunwook keening. A smile flickers onto his face at the mere thought of it.
”Matthew,” he mutters in a barely audible voice. It’s hushed against the blanket that’s covering his face. Sweat building up as heat is trapped between them.
Their bodies. Matthew is on top of him, pressing Gunwook into the mattress, holding him in position, their cocks entwining. Gunwook lets his hand go numb and pictures the damp trace of his fingers is Matthew’s cock against his.
His fingers delve into the pillow even more as if it’s going to calm him. He’s already so close to his edge. Fighting to hold back even just for another minute, Gunwook’s hand scathes across the sheets and lands on something soft.
Now he’s breaking out in a sweat for an entirely different reason.
No. He immediately scolds himself.
His hand slows down around his cock as he thinks about it again.
No.
He repeats.
But now that he’s thought about it once, his mind keeps drifting to it.
That perfectly innocent teddy that Matthew gave him as a gift. His fingers brush against it again softly, his lower lip uttering back a moan as he hiccups it in. It’s the closest link he has to Matthew right now and well…
If the real thing is practically off-limits anyway… What’s the harm in replacing it?
Gunwook gulps down his shame in a heavy gasp. His fingers twist into the softness of the plush fur and hold it. His other hand… Gets back to the rhythm from before.
Slowly, tentatively, in an entire new ballgame, Gunwook works himself up to speed. Imagining threading his fingers through Matthew’s hair. It’s so short and soft. Ignoring the fibrous feeling of the synthetic tufts on the bear, Gunwook pulls it closer to his face.
It smells like Matthew, he lets himself think.
He buries his nose into it. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The reality is that it doesn’t smell like anything. Gunwook’s grown accustomed to having it around constantly so the smell has faded away. But in his fantasy, it’s Matthew buried in the nape of his neck.
“Right there,” Gunwook mutters into it. He softly twists his hand around his cock and with the other, presses the teddy into his face. A firm grip around it, oh he could only imagine what Matthew would sound like.
Maybe he’d measly moan, trying to hide his pleasure from Gunwook at first. Gunwook would work him open, be soft and gentle until Matthew has to ask him for more.
Maybe Matthew would fuck him six way ‘til Sunday and Gunwook’s body would never forget it.
The press of plush against his face makes it a little more difficult to breathe. Heightening the sensations, Gunwook presses his hips into his hand a little faster and strums his thumb along the vein-side of his cock.
”Fuck, right there.” Gunwook moans under the sheets.
The heat is quickly climbing. The tips of Gunwook’s hair are starting to stick to his face. He need to take in fresh air, so with nimble fingers he works the blanket down from his face and keeps the rest of his body hidden as he continues to fuck into his hand.
”Fuck, Matthew, please.” He finds himself whining. The cold air on his forehead makes him feel dizzy and insane.
His breath becomes more labored. Humming like an injured dog as he chases his high, only to want to delay it just a little bit.
He presses the teddy further down his body. The cool drag of fur is akin to what Matthew’s hair would feel like. Kissing down his chest, leading onto his stomach. Gunwook stops touching himself for long enough to let his fantasy run to where he needs it to be.
Matthew would pause at his hips and look up at him. Teasing, with that cheeky smile that drives Gunwook insane. He’d purse his lips tightly, making an ‘o’ shape with them before sliding them over his dick.
Gunwook copies the motion with his fist. Clenching his fingers tightly enough around the tip of his cock before bringing them down slowly. The tight fit feels delicious as he rolls his head back into the touch. Matthew’s name on the edge of his lips, he drags the teddy bear down until it’s engulfing all of his cock.
It’s soft and inviting. Just what Matthew’s mouth must feel like. Gunwook fucks his fist over his dick a couple of times to test it. Letting the synthetic fur drag over his cock and tickle it. It’s a new, weird sensation but he can get used to it. The fabric gets damp from precum spilling from his tip and he wipes his hand against the bear.
Fuck, he’s insane. He can’t believe he’s doing this. Worst of all, he can’t believe it feels so good. Fucking his cock up into the soft, pliable bear while he thoughts rot with images of Matthew.
Matthew’s mouth around him and sucking off. Firm hands on his hips holding him still, Gunwook starts to move the stuffed bear instead of fucking into it. He feels delirious. It’s so hot and he wants more of it. His foreskin glides with the fur and he presses it down harder. Matthew’s tongue would expertly climb along the side of his cock before engulfing him fully once more.
Threads of fur start to stick to his dick as he pushes and pulls the toy over it. It’s quickly sending him over the top. It’s making him so sensitive that he has to recollect himself. He stops for a moment. Panting, not realizing just how hot and heavy he sounds. He blinks back the blur in his eyes from his lust-driven escapade.
He has to be insane for this.
Untangling himself from the sheet, Gunwook climbs to his knees. His body lightly lidded in sweat and partially aching. His cock still aching with need, he indulges in his desires once again.
A blowjob from Matthew wouldn’t be enough to satisfy him, leads his trail of thoughts. He likes to think he would do better.
He’d take care of Matthew. Take care of his hyung. That explicit thought makes his dick twitch and Gunwook brings the plushie between his knees.
”Ah, fuck, hyung,” Gunwook hisses through his moans. He presses his cock using both of his thumbs, into the bear lying beneath. It’s too soft, so he wraps the plush around his cock and tightens his grip upon it. Holding his breath, Gunwook wrinkles his nose and his legs start to shake. “Let me take care of you.”
A slow thrust lets Gunwook release his tension. His shoulders relax as he moves forward. His cock thrusting inside of his groupmate, his teammate, a friend. It slowly drives him crazy and he filters his fantasy throughout the motion. Pulling his hips back just enough to feel his cock slide against the wet cotton but not enough to feel the pressure of his thumbs against it.
”You like when I fuck you like this, hey, hyung?” Gunwook quietly mutters. He’s never dreamed of saying such crass things before but suddenly they’re starting to spill out. “Yeah, you like that.”
His moans bubble up at the back of his throat. Sweat trickling down his back as he keeps slow and steady; teasing himself as much as the bear.
His hyung. Oh, the things he would do for his hyung. Anything he’d ask of him, Gunwook would do.
Just the mere image of it running through his mind is enough to send him reeling toward a quicker speed.
“Fuck, right there. Right there,” Gunwook moans. The muscles in his stomach tighten until he feels on the brink of collapse. He’s strangling the bear to keep the friction around his cock tight. The fur drags wetly over his cock and only adds to his pleasure. “Oh, so good for me, hyung. Am I a good boy, too?”
Fuck, that’ll do it.
Gunwook’s breath shakes as he clenches his teeth. He’s such a good boy for him. Such a good boy for his hyung and it sends him spinning. Arching his entire body forward until he’s over the teddy, he jackrabbits into it relentlessly until he cums.
Hips shaking, thighs trembling. Gunwook bits into the sheets to stop himself from moaning uncontrollably loud and lewd. He can’t catch his breath back. That was the best orgasm he’s had in such a long time and it’s the thought of Matthew which drove him to it.
It takes him another minute to peel himself off his stomach and assess the damage underneath. The teddy bear retains its shape, fluffing back out now that Gunwook’s let go of it. His stomach concaves as sweat draws down it. He needs a shower, desperately, but that’s the last thing he’s thinking of as he looks at the helpless bear.
Previously innocent. One could say that stands for Gunwook as well. Flecks of cum make its eyes glitter and Gunwook softly leans forward to clean its face. “You did a good job, too,” he mutters down to it.
The next day comes incredibly early for Gunwook as he has to sneak out into the laundry room and wash the bear. The only other person awake it Taerae.
Fuck, it just had to be Taerae.
”What are you doing up this early?” He’s sitting nonchalantly at the kitchen table with a cup of something warm. He gives him a curious look at he walks out of the bedroom. “Did you pee the bed or something?” Taerae jokes.
He looks down Gunwook’s body and instinctively Gunwook hides the bear behind him.
”Oh my god, you didn’t—“ Taerae’s face falls.
”No, what? Stop—“ Gunwook panics. He decides no answer is better than none (mostly because he can’t think of one) but Taerae has other ideas.
”Then why are you hiding the bear? What did you do to it?”
Oh god, is it that obvious? Did somebody hear Gunwook last night and tell everybody? No, he tells himself. It can’t be. He was careful right?
Gunwook can’t even remember if he closed the bedroom door or not. How the fuck is he supposed to— “I spilled juice on it.”
Taerae blinks. He stares right through Gunwook’s lie but he doesn’t dare question it. “Sure you did.”
Taerae turns away.
Gunwook fills the washing machine first. Throwing in whatever the other members have left at the side of it. He stuffs the teddy bear somewhere in the middle, praying that nothing stains or transfers onto any other material.
It doesn’t. And Gunwook continues his day as usual, letting the memories of last night fall to the back of his mind and his insanity fade away.
Just a little pent-up tension he had to release. It’s all out of his system now, he’s good to go again. He can handle the death-defying crush he has on Matthew now, like nothing ever happened. He doesn’t think that his frustration will ever get that bad again.
”Good morning, Matthew,” Gunwook greets shortly after Matthew wakes up. He steps out of the bedroom looking a little worse for wear. His hair messy and choppy, in desperate need of a brush.
“Morning,” Matthew barely mumbles back. Less than enthusiastic, bored if Gunwook cares to think that far.
Of course he cares to think that far, this is Matthew he’s talking about! Why the heck didn’t he greet him any better? Is it because he didn’t go to dinner with the rest of them last night?
Gunwook frowns and moves out of the way.
The day doesn’t get any better, but Gunwook can’t say it gets worse either. They’re at different schedules. Matthew is on some English radio program and Gunwook stays in the practice room. Usually, a welcome distraction but today he’s not feeling it. He checks his phone multiple times. Matthew is cheesy enough to send occasional hearts or kissy face emojis in the group chat.
He even sends them directly to Gunwook sometimes but today… Nothing in either of the chats.
Gunwook does his best not to overthink it. They’re busy, they’re idols and on top of that, they’ve each got their own lives to live.
So why does Gunwook feel like he’s missing a limb whenever Matthew is not wrapped around him somehow?
By the time the day draws to a close, Gunwook’s brain is tired.
Mental gymnastics, he’s heard Matthew call it. It’s when a person jumps from one problem to another without any link between them.
Surely if something was off between them then Matthew would say something. He’d be honest. But when Matthew ignores him at dinner time the guilt starts to eat away at him all over again.
What does he feel guilty for? He doesn’t know. His only conscientious guilt would be the bear and Matthew knows nothing about that right?
…Right?
Gunwook racks his brain about it as he grabs a juice box from the fridge.
It’s 11pm but that’s practically the middle of the afternoon for some idols.
Some are out, somewhere gallivanting with their friends at some late night restaurant or karaoke room down the street. Some are trying to catch up on their sleep.
Gunwook sits alone at the kitchen table. Six chairs around it, not even enough for all nine of them but somehow they make it work.
He sips on the straw softly, letting his night wind down gently. A bedroom door opens and out comes Matthew.
”Good evening.”
Gunwook almost coughs up his juice. “Evening?” He swallows it down fast.
Did Matthew just greet him? He even seems cheery. Maybe he was just tired before. Maybe Gunwook isn’t in trouble after all.
”How are you?”
Oh. Small talk. That’s… Weird coming from Matthew but… All right, Gunwook supposes.
”Fine…” He watches Matthew approach from the corner of his eye. No. Something’s not right. Yes, he’s back to his cheery, old self but something is off about it. He’s smiling, hiding something behind it. Gunwook arches an eyebrow but tries not to give his suspicions away. “And you?”
”Me? Oh yeah, I’m great.” Matthew swings around a chair and sits down. He’s straddling it so the back of the chair is in front of him, high enough for Matthew to comfortably lean on… And look as if he’s interrogating Gunwook too.
He sits almost smugly, dazzling grin underneath his eyes. Gunwook would be quickly fooled if he didn’t know any better but his heart still beats with an extra skip whenever Matthew is around. Matthew clasps his hands together roughly, drawing Gunwook’s attention back to the scene. “I was just wondering—“
Here he goes, Gunwook thinks. Asking for a favor, or a promise, something silly or foolish, making a big deal out of it—
“How’s that gift I got you treating ya?”
Gunwook’s system has broken. “W—What?” He says in disbelief.
He’s not sure he actually heard him correctly—
“That bear. You know. The cute one. Crescent eye, curly fur. Looks like me.”
Gunwook chokes on his spit. “Oh—Oh, yeah. Yeah it’s,” Gunwook stutters. He’s searching Matthew’s eyes for answers; he finds none. Matthew stares back nonchalantly, as if he’s asking the most normal question in the world.
It is the most normal question in the world. Matthew doesn’t know anything. He can’t know anything. He wasn’t there.
”Fine. It’s fine, yeah.” He finally finishes.
Matthew smirks. “Did you wash the stains out well?”
Gunwook clutches his juice box. “What?”
”The stains.” Matthew repeats. He talks as if it’s common knowledge. As if everyone knows what Gunwook got up to. His face is starting to heat up.
No, screw that thought. The room is on fire. It’s perpetually burning. Gunwook is in hell and it’s Matthew who’s taking him there.
Matthew leans forward and whispers. “Taerae told me you spilled juice on it.”
”Oh.” Gunwook feels sweat run down his spine like a ravine. Matthew’s smile is sickly sweet and it’s driving him insane. “He’s fine, yeah—“
”He?” Matthew quickly intervenes. Gunwook feels like he’s on the spot. “He’s a he? Does he have a name now too, or—“
”I haven’t thought about it—“ Gunwook laughs nervously. This has to be some kind of joke. It’s just a casual conversation, normal and polite in every way but Gunwook can’t seem to relax about it. He’s waiting for the hidden catch that never comes.
”You could name him after me, but that might be weird.”
Yeah, Gunwook thinks. Not like he was screaming that name while fucking him only a day ago. But Matthew doesn’t have to know that.
Gunwook tightens his grip around the juice box until it starts to leak.
”We could go for a combination of our names, though? Call him… Gun—no, Mattwook. Yeah, I think that sounds about right.”
”Haha,” Gunwook forces out a laugh.
Maybe Matthew doesn’t know. Everything he’s saying is normal. Sure, Matthew bounces off the walls like this most of the time but he eventually settles back down to earth. Gunwook should relax. He could breathe.
<
Matthew chuckles alongside him too and continues. “Did you wanna buy him a new outfit? If I knew you’d like him so much, I would’ve bought at least three.”
”Yeah, maybe we should!” Gunwook smiles. This is cute. This is the Matthew he has a crush on. The thoughtful, funny hyung that puts him at ease.
He leans forward, Matthew mimics the movement and leans into the chair. Gunwook locks eyes with him.
He’s sweet.
”How about at night? Does he still sleep in your bed?”
”Of course.” Gunwook smiles back.
Everything is right again. Just how it’s supposed to be. Gunwook brings the juice box to his lips and takes a lofty sip. It’s relaxing. Swilling the cold refreshment around his mouth to get a fuller taste. He sucks in his cheeks at the tang of bitterness as he swallows it in one gulp—
“Did you think about me when you were fucking it, then?”
Gunwook suddenly can’t breathe again.
A bomb has gone off in his head.
A high pitched frequency rings in his ears and drowns out every other sound. He feels dizzy. Matthew’s swaying in front of him and Gunwook feels like he’ll hit the deck at any moment.
”I didn’t—“
”It’s okay.” Matthew brushes off. Gunwook still hasn’t wrapped his head around this.
Matthew somehow knows? He somehow knows and is punishing Gunwook for it? No, he isn’t punishing him. He’s forgiving him, but why? What Gunwook did borders on disgusting, outlandish even; perfect grounds for Matthew to never speak to him again.
Yet he’s sitting there, in front of Gunwook, looking like he hasn’t got a care in the world.
It’s okay, Matthew brushes off. And Gunwook still can’t feel his legs.
”Your secret’s safe with me. I’m not gonna tell anyone.”
“That’s a relief,” Gunwook finds himself muttering without realizing it.
Matthew is on his feet. He’s making his way around to Gunwook’s side and Gunwook is too sidetracked to take any of it in.
Matthew knows.
”As long as you let me join in.”
Matthew knows—wait, what?
”Wait, what?” Gunwook verbally repeats. He looks up to find Matthew towering over him. It’s the only time in his life Matthew’s ever looked threatening. Even then, he stays smiling. Pearly teeth fooling Gunwook into a false sense of allurement. He doesn’t even know what Matthew means by that yet.
Panic sets in; Matthew senses it and squeezes down hard on Gunwook’s shoulder. “Let me rephrase that.”
Gunwook stops himself from hyperventilating. The pressure on his shoulder keeps him rooted to reality. Matthew really does know about it. He knows and he’s not angry about it. In fact, he’s pretty keen. Gunwook doesn’t know if this is a blessing or a curse.
“I wanna watch you, Gunwook,” Matthew slowly lets it spill out. Gunwook feels the pressure in his chest tighten, stealing his breath and locking it away in some place he can’t reach.
He keeps his eyes forward. Afraid to see if Matthew’s joking, afraid to see if this is real even though the grip Matthew has on his should is very real he still can’t believe any of this.
”Getting off to the thought of me while you’re fucking that thing…” Matthew’s tone is low in such a way Gunwook’s never heard before. It entices Gunwook to look at him.
There’s a darkness in Matthew’s eyes he’s never seen. The way his lips hang open after every word. Desperate to be filled with something in between.
”It’s kinda hot.”
”Oh my god,” Gunwook lets out.
Matthew breaks the moment with a smack of his shoulder. It resonates over Gunwook’s tense frame. Matthew slowly reaches up to his face. A soft hand presses into his cheek and turns Gunwook to look upward. His mouth hangs open, eyes wide like a deer. He looks so naive and innocent—Matthew guesses that’s the allure of it.
Just some innocent, well-behaved boy fucking the hell out of a stuffed toy to the thought of someone else.
Bonus points that it’s Matthew, he does love to be lusted after sometimes.
”Tomorrow sound good?”
Gunwook doesn’t think he can speak. All he can do is stare up at Matthew making the decisions for him. For them, this is a joint venture now. Gunwook can’t believe himself.
”Everyone is gonna get hotpot together in the afternoon. I figure you can tell them you’re sick.”
Okay. Gunwook thinks. Giving the slightest of nods, he lets Matthew know he’s in agreement.
“I’ll say I’m hanging out with some other friends, then I’ll come back early. Is that okay with you?”
Yes, Gunwook says in his head. Unaware he hasn’t said it verbally, Matthew’s thumb traces shapes over the corner of his lips to get him to speak. “Yeah.”
Matthew taps his face. It makes Gunwook flinch for a second even though it doesn’t hurt. A gentle, reassuring touch as Matthew steps away. “Great.”
Gunwook sits with his juice box at the table.
This is happening, he thinks. His heart races at the speed of sound.
I can do this.
I can’t do this. Gunwook changes his mind on the day. Anxiety overtakes his bones and he thinks he’s going to throw up.
What the hell was he thinking? There’s no way he can do this in front of his hyung. No fucking way.
There’s a tap on his door. Gunwook freezes. Bile threatens to spill over the back of his throat and into his mouth as he tells them to enter. Part of Gunwook’s mind prays that it’s not Matthew and he’s somehow come to his senses.
Because, really? Who the fuck wants to see Gunwook get off on a—
“Hey.” Matthew smiles. It’s gentle, supposedly reassuring, but Gunwook feels nothing from it.
”Hi,” Gunwook eventually greets.
He stands in the middle of the room, like a fool, until Matthew closes the door and tries to put him at ease. “Are you ready?”
”Are you sure—“
”Very.”
“Well.” Gunwook gulps down the bile in his throat. Matthew can see the nervousness in his eyes, and Gunwook doesn’t flinch when he approaches.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He says in reassurance. Gunwook wants to fall to his knees—for a couple of reasons, at least.
Matthew is so much shorter but more confident than Gunwook. His presence radiates power over him and leaves Gunwook feeling helpless. Weirdly, he’s not finding it to be a negative experience.
Gunwook wants to behave. He wants to do well, he wants to listen to his hyung.
Matthew knows this.
He reaches up to take Gunwook’s jaw between his fingers. Lightly tracing the outline shape until he reaches the corner of his ear. Matthew tugs on his earlobe gently and massages it between his fingers. “You wanna be good for hyung, don’t you?”
”Yeah,” Gunwook mutters out. It’s a partial whine and Gunwook’s already starting to feel more pathetic than ever. He shakes visibly and Matthew moves his hand away.
”Then, let’s get started.”
It’s awkward at first. It was always going to be, but what makes it worse is that Matthew is fully dressed in this.
He leans against the chest of drawers in the corner of the room. Hands behind him to keep steady. It’s also stopping him from showcasing his excitement too much. Scaring Gunwook off an excellent performance. ”How did you start last time?”
”How did you know—“
”I came home early.” Matthew doesn’t beat around the bush. His breath makes him seem excited however, the pacing of his words are breathy and rushed.
It makes Gunwook’s resolve crumble. He looks around the room. There’s a ton of memorabilia hanging on the walls; from his graduation and time at school to his time as an idol. Every aspect of each object screams praise. It tells the world that Gunwook does well, he wants to do well. He wants people to know that he does good, and he’s good at what he does.
Matthew taps the table behind him to bring back Gunwook’s attention. “You didn’t know but the door was cracked open that night.”
Shame hits Gunwook’s stomach. Shame and something else, mixing into arousal as he starts to fidget about.
”At first I just heard you moaning and I thought it would be funny to catch you in the act. But then I heard my name—“
”Matthew,” Gunwook repeats. It’s unintentional, the memories of that act swimming through his mind. It has a visceral effect on the both of them. Their eyes connect, exchanging secret words.
Gunwook gulps down the growing knot in his throat and Matthew nods at the bed. “You can start, by the way. ‘Wookie.”
Gunwook makes a start by climbing on the bed.
He’s sitting down, nervously picking at his nails and trying to not let the anxiety win. He avoids looking at Matthew, who is anticipating a move any second.
”Would it help—“
That catches Gunwook’s attention. He stops picking and looks up to listen to him.
”If I talked you through it?”
Oh, that sends Gunwook’s stomach to twist into knots.
”Yeah.” It’s barely a whisper but Matthew hears it perfectly.
“Okay.” Matthew clears his throat. “Firstly, take off your clothes.”
”All of them?”
”All of them.” Matthew confirms.
Gunwook closes his eyes as he lifts up his shirt.
”Try to imagine it’s me,” Matthew’s voice calls for him. It tingles his skin and suddenly he feels it.
Matthew’s hands sliding up his ribs, tracing over his armpits as the shirt leaves his skin. He drops it to the side and looks at Matthew.
Breathless. Gunwook is suddenly feeling very breathless.
”Next your underwear.”
Gunwook does as he’s told. Matthew’s eyes run across his pale skin. Observing every touch he makes across it. A simple stare is enough to make Gunwook’s heart skip a beat. He takes his time in pulling his pants and underwear down to his feet. Kicking them off and onto the ground, he brings himself back to sit on the bed.
”Cute,” Matthew mutters. His gaze drinking in the very sight of him. It stops Gunwook feeling self conscious despite the heaviness of his stare. If anything, he feels empowered. Handing control over to Matthew is easier than it seems.
Matthew's eyes flicker over him as he speaks, “on your knees.”
Gunwook does as he’s told.
”Good boy.”
Gunwook turns away. His stomach lurches with an unfamiliar pull—or at least one he hasn’t felt in this way before. More than just praise. There’s something… addictive about it. About the way Matthew says his name in this new tone, about the compliments he peppers him with. Gunwook’s face starts to burn with the realization that he likes it. He likes it very much.
And apparently, Matthew does too. “No, no. Don’t get shy on me now, baby.” He sounds like he’s enjoying it. A quick look back would’ve shown Gunwook just how much he was enjoying it. But he doesn’t.
Matthew strums his hardening cock through the outline of his pants. A soft palm over the growing mound as he speaks. “You promised me you’d put on a show.”
“Matthew—“
”Please.” The strain in Matthew’s voice makes Gunwook weak at his knees.
Slowly, quietly, and with the utmost restraint, Gunwook reaches underneath his sheets. His dirty, not-so-little-secret-anymore comes into view. A clean, perfect crafted, gray-furred teddy bear with a crescent moon for an eye and a bead for the other.
It’s soft to the touch after Gunwook has washed it. Smells clean and fresh, just like Matthew’s clothes after they’ve been freshly pressed. It takes everything in Gunwook not to bring it up to his face and bury his nose in the scent.
Instead, he slides it between his knees.
“Is this what you pictured us like, Gunwookie?”
Gunwook’s cock twitches and his toes curl into the sheets.
“Me underneath your body, begging you to give me more?”
”No.” He manages to whisper. He looks down and watches his dick harden against the soft fur. He thinks about the last time when he did this.
His fantasy runs wild with every little breath. How Matthew would be pressed up to him, rocking their bodies together in an entangled mess.
”Then, what do you imagine?”
Gunwook shudders as he sets his imagination free. ”I… Imagined us face-to-face. Our… Dicks touching. Rubbing. Just… Enjoying the sensation.” He starts to roll his hips. Eyes closing, he concentrates on the feeling of synthetic hair grazing against his cock. How that familiar feeling tickles him in just the right places. Letting his mouth fall open with the premise of a moan or two coming out.
”That’s very intimate, Wookie.” Matthew barely mutters. He’s too busy getting himself off to the image Gunwook provides. His hand presses down hard on his cock. Cupping himself through thick jeans isn’t going to cut it for long.
”It is,” Gunwook moans.
”What next then, baby?” Matthew soothes into the air. He slowly starts to work his fingers through the button of his jeans.
”Ah, when you call me baby, I—“ Gunwook’s stomach twists. It causes his hips to twitch in an unstable fashion. He feels his breath being pulled out of him. Baby, he hears it like a whisper on the wind. It swims in his head and makes him seasick.
”Do you feel good, Wookie?” Matthew redirects him. Yes, Gunwook realizes. It’s that kind of feeling. He lends himself over to it, arching his hips down into a lazy thrust. “Does it make you want to speed up?”
Gunwook pants out, ”yeah.”
”Go faster then.” It feels like an order. Matthew’s words are strained as he continues to touch himself. Gunwook can’t concentrate on making Matthew feel good, he’s too consumed by his own pleasure to even check on it. But Matthew is looking out for both of them. “Just for a little bit.”
Gunwook nods quietly to himself. Doing as he’s told, he speeds up. He presses his hands down on either side of the teddy. Gaining better friction so he can use more speed. The pressure is delicious. His moans start to shudder away from his mouth with every thrust and Matthew hangs on every single one.
“Tell me, baby. Who’s the noisier one? Is it me or you?”
”You—“ Gunwook moans between clenched teeth. The answer comes in an instant that he doesn’t think it through.
Matthew is laughing. His cock straining as he finally unzips his jeans. It catches Gunwook off guard as he turns to finally look at Matthew. The sight of Matthew removing his jeans makes him incredibly more depraved.
Gunwook’s mouth hangs open. His jaw slack and in need of being filled. Matthew’s hung and it hurts Gunwook to the core just to look at it. He needs it. He’s never craved something so hard in his life before and he doesn’t know how to go on unless he gets it.
“I think that’s a lie. Look at you. Falling apart underneath my touch.”
Gunwook lets out an incessant, lewd moan that vibrates through the air. He can’t stop staring. Matching his pace with Matthew’s strokes. His hips shake so hard as he tries to keep control. Matthew spurs him on and coaxes him.
”I’d fuck you so hard, ‘Wookie. You’d be so loud that everyone in the street would know.” Matthew moans back to him. He fists his cock quickly, gripping hard and spreading precum all around it with each heavy fuck. “Just how much of a whore you are for me.”
”Fuck.” Cries out. His stomach lurches forward and his orgasm almost comes with it. It’s so intense that Gunwook is losing. His body convulses as his hands press the teddy to completely cover his cock. Encasing it in a warm, wet cave that his body wishes was Matthew with every touch.
”Slow down.” Matthew says calmly. His actions don’t match his words, jacking off his cock at an erratic speed, but he expects Gunwook to listen. “Don’t cum yet.”
“O—Okay.” Gunwook struggles. He practically has to stop himself by pulling out of the plush. His breath shakes as he catches it, huffing heavy and hard as he fights back the urge to cum and the need to be good.
”Good boy. Now listen to me.”
Fuck, that’ll do it. Every pet name and compliment that rolls off Matthew’s tongue is like heroin to Gunwook. Incredibly addictive, leaving him wanting—no, needing—more to feel satisfied. Like he suddenly can’t live without it.
His heart beats away in his eardrum as he tries to focus on Matthew again.
“First, I’d suck you off. Can you imagine my lips, Wookie?”
Gunwook starts to keen. He lets out a low moan as he dips his cock forward. “Yeah.”
Back into the toy that’s waiting for him. It’s damp and warm, the fur starting to mat together where his cock’s been rubbing it. It’s kept its composure, just like last time, and Gunwook wraps his hands around his cock again and presses in.
”My lips around your cock keeping it nice and warm.” Gunwook traces his cock around Matthew’s lips.
“You, slowly fucking into my mouth while I hold your waist.” Gunwook pushes all the way in.
“Making sure you don’t go too fast or deep. Under my control, right, baby?”
Gunwook moans. A length, lust-filled moan that pushes Matthew to his limits. ”Of course.” Gunwook whines. His jaw runs slack as he blinks back the white light in his vision.
Matthew growls a command as he squeezes his dick. ”Speed up.”
Gunwook does as he’s told.
Although he sounds in control, Matthew is faltering. Having to hold himself in a bid to watch Gunwook finish. To see how far he’ll go to listen to him. Just how much fun the two can have together. Matthew’s mouth hangs open as he swallows another moan. Forcing his jaw shut, he hums through his nose as he leads the next part of the fantasy. ”Then, once you were nice and hard, I’d make you get me off.” Matthew laughs in a partial moan.
Gunwook follows through with him. Moaning back to him, speeding up his thrusts. He’s never felt this good before—and it’s under someone else’s command. Gunwook doesn’t know if he could make himself feel this good again. His imagination amounts to nothing under Matthew’s words. The choice he uses, the expression he creates.
Everything is so vivid in Gunwook’s mind as he arches his hips forward while he listens.
“You know, you’ve got such a pretty mouth, ‘Wookie. I’m sure you know what to do with it.”
That will almost do it.
Gunwook completely crumbles. He cock aches with the need for release. There’s no way he can hold it back any longer, his hips rut into the teddy like a dog in heat. ”Ah, I’m gonna—“
”Not yet.” Matthew warns.
Gunwook whines like he’s in agony. The coil in his stomach screaming out in pain to be snapped. He somehow holds it down, slowing his hips into a ragged jut as he forces them out of rhythm.
Matthew’s moans finally meld in with his as he props himself up on the counter. “I’d stretch you open. Nice and wide. Make sure we have the right toys for it. Have you used toys on yourself before, Gunwookie?”
”No.”
”Mmn, well, you’ll have to start.”
Gunwook clenches his eyes shut. ”Fuck.”
It’s like he can feel it. Every word Matthew says is another stab of heat into his abdomen. It’s turning into torture. But he’s being so good so far, he’s listening so intently. He’s done everything Matthew’s asked of him. He’s sped up, slowed down, stopped himself from climaxing, so please—
”Can’t have my baby hurting himself after one round now, can we?”
”Matthew, please—“ he starts to beg. He can barely move his hips out of fear of cumming. Out of fear of disobeying Matthew’s commands and ending it all too soon.
”Not yet, baby. I’m almost there.” Matthew’s voice vibrates. It’s obvious how hard he’s working on his orgasm, trying to speed up to match where Gunwook is. Fucking himself with a twist of his palm, slickness ringing throughout the room every time his hand smacks back down to his balls.
He suddenly switches up the pace to build up for the finale. “I’d start off slow.”
Slow, Gunwook unintentionally slows down. It knocks the breath out of him and he stumbles forward. Catching himself on all fours he grinds down into the teddy. It’s saturated by this point, his cock leaking everywhere, dripping onto the sheets as sweat intermingles with the semen.
”So slow until it drives you crazy.”
”Please.”
”Then I’d speed up.” Matthew does the same.
”God.” Gunwook follows the movements. Wet sounds emanate from across the room as Matthew joins in. His moans echo through the wetness and get lost in Gunwook’s ears. Every second like heaven and hell—hearing Matthew vividly describe what he’s doing drives him crazy and not receiving it makes him want to cry.
Tears don’t yet threaten his eyes but Matthew would call them pretty if they did.
A cracking groan from Matthew’s throat tells them both that he’s close.
”I’d fuck you so hard you’d end up on your stomach. Trapped underneath me. I’d make you feel small and useless.”
”Matthew—“ Gunwook is seeing stars.
”But you’re not useless. You’re so good to me, ‘Wookie. My perfectly good boy.” Finally, they both break. “Fuck, now. Now, baby, come on. Cum for me, you can do it.”
”Oh fuck,” Gunwook cries. He buries his face into the sheets as he cries out the same thing. “Say it again, please. Say it again.”
”Good boy,” Matthew groans as he cums. It runs over his hand, through the gaps of his fingers and onto the carpet. Fisting his cock until he’s completely done, fractured moans radiating the same thing. “Good boy for me. So, so good, ‘Wookie.”
Their heavy moans turn into relentless breathing. Calling for their breath back, the air of the room is hot and steals it straight back from their lungs. Gunwook is blissed out. Curled up on his stomach as his muscles try to relax, he hears the sound of zipping and then Matthew’s voice. “You okay over there?”
Gunwook turns his head. Part of him is devastated that Matthew’s already dressed. But then again, he guesses that it’s part of the game. Matthew got what he wanted. He asked to see Gunwook get off to him and he got exactly that. If anything, Gunwook is the one who is profiting here. He got to hear exactly what Matthew wants to do to him.
What Matthew wants to do to him.
Gunwook’s muscles begin to burn again just at the thought of that.
”Yeah, I’m—“
”Do you need help?” There’s a hand on Gunwook’s side and it’s much colder than the air. It pushes him over with ease, Gunwook takes no initiative to rectify it as he falls onto his side, bringing his arms up to his chest as his eyes scan over the room.
Matthew is in front of him, looking disheveled but dressed. A thin layer of sweat covers his brow and the faint glow of sex radiates off of him.
I did that to him. He thinks. I should be proud.
”I’m okay.” He finally speaks. It’s soft and weak. Tired is the correct turn of phrase, and his body slowly gives itself over to sleep as Matthew grins.
”Okay.” He taps Gunwook’s shoulder. They both wear tired smiles as Gunwook drifts off to sleep. The gentle pat of Matthew touching him sends shivers down his body. His fingers smooth over his skin, pressing up to his neck and concaving around his cheek. “You did so good, baby.”
Gunwook nuzzles into the touch. Keeping his eyes closed, Matthew gently pinches his cheek as he falls asleep.
“You did so good.”