Archive of Our Own

The bow and arrow were invented thousands of years ago. The bow consists of a soft and smooth wooden limb that must be rigid enough to bring forth power to the release, yet flexible enough to be able to draw. When drawing the string back, the shaft bends to the force brought upon it and stores up a large amount of potential and elastic energy waiting to be released towards its target. 

The arrow itself consists of three main parts: the shaft, the fletching and the arrow head. Each holds a unique role to what the arrow is capable of doing. The shaft is what holds the structural integrity of the arrow, it holds all the components together and must be strong enough to endure stress within each use of the arrow itself. The fletching is what is used to stabilize the flight of the arrow, any minor change to it can cause the arrow to shoot in an entirely different direction. And then there is the arrow head, the most important part of the arrow. Not only because it is the part of the weapon that will pierce its target, but because it defines the entire use for the arrow in the first place. Some arrowheads are meant for practice, for sport, and others are meant for hunting and combat. 

But what makes the two items so dangerous is not the objects in and of themselves, but the archer holding them. 

“Missed!”

“Again.”

“Thank you Eloise and Hyacinth for your incredible observational skills.” Benedict sarcastically stated through a bitter smile. 

“Maybe if you actually looked at your target it would help you.” Eloise snarked back at him with a wry smile.

Benedict glowered lightly towards his younger sister. She always did have a way of crawling underneath his skin. All in good spirit and sibling love, but that did not mean he couldn’t also dish it right back out. “Well, dear sister, if you think it is so easy, why don’t you try it yourself?”

Eloise narrowed her grey blue eyes at her older brother, “Surely you do not mean that.”

“Try me.” Benedict offered her the bow. 

“I shall!” Eloise stated in an attempt at sounding confident and gladly took the bow from her brother. She had no idea what she was doing. Sure, she had read about others doing this in the books she consumed, and had watched all three of her brothers shoot an arrow before. But that was entirely different than being the one to actually hold the weapon. 

She went and stood next to him, before taking an arrow from the quiver. This was not something her mother would approve of her doing. But her mother was not here right now to stop her. Her hands were clammy as she attempted to nock the arrow. A huff escaped her throat but she found  herself successful after a second attempt. She turned to her brother, who simply stared at her expectantly, a single eyebrow raised. 

She took a deep breath and brought the bowstring back. The muscles in her arms strained, not realizing the weight and strength that this simple action required. Her arms began to shake ever so slightly as she stared down the arrow shaft at the target that lay about 20 feet in front of her. 

Breath Eloise, breath . She bit her lip while trying to concentrate on her target. Deep breath in . 

Silence.

Out…Release.

“Ms. Eloise, you have a visitor.”

Thunk

Eloise, startled, dropped the bow and turned to her maid wide eyed. Not only in confusion as to the news, but as she had also just been caught red handed with a weapon in her hands. A weapon that was supposedly not meant for a lady’s sensibilities. Lady Bridgerton would have her head surely. 

The Bridgerton family had just made it to their country home a week ago. The season had come and gone, and there was nothing left to do except retreat to Aubrey Hall, as they did after every marriage mart season. It was like this ever since Eloise was a small girl. Except this time, instead of taking a break, relaxing in the cool fall breeze and enjoying a getaway…the Bridgertons are laying low away from prying, judgemental eyes and staving off any slander. 

Eloise had always loved her home in the country, it was quiet and offered lots of open space to roam. The air was light and the landscape captivating. Gardens so large, one could find themselves lost within them. Secret hideouts only she knew were there, where she could read as many books as she could possibly want about philosophy, politics, nature and any other genre or topic she desired. It was a place where she could do as she pleased where only her mother would scold her for not acting more lady-like, while her brothers and sisters would snicker at her antics. 

But now her vacation home was more than just a safe haven. It was a safe place where Eloise could simply exist without hearing and seeing the whispers behind fans. Where she didn’t have to see mamas directing their children away from Eloise as if she had the plague. Her home in the country was a place where Eloise did not have to feel like she was the ton's prey. 

“A visitor…who should want to see London’s new pariah?” Eloise questioned with bitterness lacing her voice. It was not that she was unhappy to have a visitor, she was just confused as to who it would be. She had no friends outside her siblings anymore. Her friendship with Penelope was demolished the second she put the ink to parchment about her activities of last season. She was an outcast, an outsider, somebody that one should not want to associate with, lest they risk their social standing within society. 

“Miss Cressida Cowper, my lady.” The maid bowed her head. 

Shock ran through Eloise’s body in an instant. Cressida? Why would she seek out Eloise? They were not friends, and they were certainly not even acquaintances. Most interactions the two ever held were full of haughtiness and quick insults shot back and forth. She did recall saying that she “would rather die” than be friends with Cressida Cowper. 

Benedict cleared his throat, “Hyacinthe, let us leave our dear sister to her unexpected guest shall we?” The brother offered the youngest sister his arm, which the smaller child took while pouting.

Eloise shook her head in an attempt to clear her confused state, “Uh…very well.”

“Nice shot by the way.”  Benedict clapped his sister’s shoulder, as he and Hyacinthe walked back into the estate. 

Eloise looked at the target.

Bullseye. 

The maid left and came back with Cressida a few minutes later. She was wearing a simple lightweight lavender dress with an intricate floral pattern embroidered along the bodice, and a ribbon sash tied around the waist. Her blonde hair was partially pinned up, with the top half gathered and secured at the back with a delicate, lavender ribbon that matches her dress. She looked sophisticated and charming, yet relaxed all at the same time. The perfect outfit for a walk out in the country during the early fall.

“Eloise,” Cressida started with an uneasy smile. “You look well this afternoon.”

“Thank you…Cressida, y-you as well.” Eloise responded with a light smile, trying to mask her confusion and curiosity as to why the older woman was visiting her at her home. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

Eloise looked carefully at the other woman before her, trying to discern why she came. Truly the Bridgerton daughter could not come up with any reasonable idea as to why she would be here. Cressida pursed her lips together and knitted her eyebrows as though she was trying to figure that out herself. “I wanted to see if you were…well.”

Eloise blinked once.

Twice.

“You wanted to see if I was…well? I have not fallen ill and I am physically unharmed. I am afraid I do not know what you speak of?” Eloise cocked her head to the side and approached Cressida. 

The taller woman forced a smile before continuing “I just… wanted to check in on you after the season ended… the way that it did for you.”

Shock coursed through Eloise’s body and she could not help but stare wide eyed and in disbelief. Cressida, the woman who was her own sister’s rival during their initial debut. Cressida, the woman who bullied the wallflowers that were Penelope Featherington and herself from time to time because they did not fit in with society. Cressida, one of the most eager and earnest gossips the ton had to offer. Why did Eloise Bridgerton’s falling out of high society disturb Cressida so much that it caused her to leave the comforts of her own home and take the time to travel here?

“Oh,” was the only thing that Eloise could utter at that moment. 

They stayed silent for a few moments, standing only a few feet from one another. Neither of them have any idea on how to navigate this situation.

“Well… as the Lady Whistledown said, ‘As one makes one’s bed, so one must lie in it’.” Eloise smiled sadly, looking down at the green grass.

“You’re very brave.” Cressida stated simply.

Eloise scoffed. “I do not believe what I did was very brave. I simply did what many people refuse or are too scared to do: educate themselves. I was, however, rather… foolish for going about it in the way that I did. I was careless and I-” Eloise bit her lower lip. An action she often did when she was anxious or deep in thought. She did not regret what she did. She was proud of always going against the grain of societal norms. She only wished she could have been more careful so as to not bring disgrace and shame to her family. Well, more disgrace and shame than what her antics normally did.

“Foolish perhaps, but still brave. Only someone who is brave would defy society in the way that you have done.” Cressida said earnestly, smiling when Eloise finally met her gaze. 

A blush crept its way along the back of Eloise’s neck. “Thank you, Cressida,” she said quietly. There was something about the way that Cressida’s sky blue eyes pierced into hers. A feeling that Eloise could not quite place. Not yet. 

After what felt like an eternity for both women, Eloise finally looked to Cressida. “Would… would you like to walk through our gardens with me?”

Cressida smiled gently. “I would like that very much.”

Eloise returned the smile in kind and gestured towards the gravel pathway that led to their family’s extensive garden. The two walked side by side in the early afternoon, both basking in the cool weather. Birds chirped, singing their sweet songs as a breeze danced around the two young ladies. Eloise could not help but continue to cast brief, curious glances towards Cressida. Eloise’s mind raced with questions. Why did it matter to Cressida if Eloise was okay? Why did she feel the need to tell her she was brave? Cressida offering a compliment to a fellow woman? That kind of behavior was unheard of amongst women. It was not in their culture to build up another woman when she was knocked down.

Cressida broke the silence first. “This garden is beautiful, Eloise.”

Eloise glanced around at the familiar sights of the lavender, peonies and dahlias. “Tis one of my favorite places to roam while we are here in the country. It’s quiet, peaceful… I often read out here. Well, at least until the cold and snow set in.”

“What kind of books do you like to read, Eloise?” Cressida asked, pausing on their walk to admire the variety of rose bushes Violet Bridgerton had planted two summers ago. 

“Books on philosophy, history - or anything by a woman, really.” Eloise answered honestly.

Cressida smiled. “Not surprising. I do find myself a fan of Jane Austen’s work.”

“You read?” Eloise blurted without thinking how it sounded. She blushed furiously. “I mean- I uh-”

Cressida laughed, causing Eloise to pause. She watched as the fair skinned maiden threw her head back slightly and let out a throaty chuckle. “Why yes, Miss Bridgerton, I do in fact read. Quite a bit, in fact. My father owns a vast collection of books. I find myself rather fond of his poetry section.” 

“My apologies Miss Cowper, I didn’t- that was- you just do not strike me as the type of person who reads.” Eloise stumbled upon her words and tried to offer an apologetic smile that somehow just ended up looking awkward. 

“Appearances can be deceiving Eloise. You are not the only woman in London who likes to read essays of feminine injustice by female authors such as Judith Sargent Murrary.” Cressida glanced her way before leaning down to a singular lavender rose. Eloise watched as Cressida plucked the flower from the bush, and gently brought it to her nose. She inhaled the scent deeply, and a small smile graced her lips as she did so. Cressida Cowper was an enigma to Eloise at that moment. She could not grapple as to why the older young lady was still giving her the time of day. 

“Cressida… why are you here?” Eloise asked finally, moving to stand directly in front of her.

Cressida looked at Eloise. “To be kind to you in a world that has not been,” she stated simply, and offered her the rose. 

Eloise stared at Cressida for a long moment in slight awe. She tried to find the right words to say but found that there were none at that moment. She took the rose, her fingers brushing against Cressida's. She felt a strange warmth and electricity at the touch. “Thank you,” she whispered, looking into Cressida’s eyes.

Cressida’s gaze softened. “You’re welcome. I know we haven’t been friends, Eloise, but I’d like to change that. If you’d allow me to.”

~

Eloise was bored as she strolled through the streets of London with her mother and sister, Francesca. They had just returned back only a week ago from the country, and her mother was already insisting on preparing Francesca for her debut. And because Eloise had not married in her first season, their mama had insisted on Eloise at least joining them as they went to the modiste to have new dresses crafted for Francesca. And Eloise, if she changed her mind.

“Miss Bridgerton,” a familiar voice said from behind Eloise as she stood near the wall, watching Madam Delacroix take her younger sister’s measurements. 

Eloise turned at the sound of Cressida’s voice, and smiled. “Miss Cowper.”

“I thought you were not due back to London for another week.” Cressida cocked her head slightly as she stood next to Eloise. 

Eloise shrugged lightly. “Mama decided Francesca needed new dresses immediately, so here we are.” She glanced at her sister, who was standing on the pedestal with her arms outstretched, looking slightly bored herself.

Cressida nodded, her expression thoughtful. “It is that time of year again. But it is good to get a head start where one can. It’s quite a lot of work preparing for your debut.”

“Indeed it is, unfortunately.” Eloise replied, her tone hinting at her unpleasant thoughts and feelings about the event. She had never been one for the frills and formalities that came with debutante season. She detests this time of year very much, and probably will until the end of time. “And what brings you here today, Miss Cowper?”

“My mother thought it also wise to try and get a head start on the season,” Cressida said with a light laugh. “She insists I need a new wardrobe, as though that is the issue as to why I am still without a husband.”

Eloise frowned slightly and felt her heart strings tug slightly. While she knew Cressida could be happy and live a successful life without a husband, she knows that Cressida might not feel the same way. Not everyone has the luxury of feeling the way Eloise does. Her future will be okay whether she marries or not. Either one of her brother’s shall be able to care for her. “I’m sure you will find someone this season. Someone worthy of your gaze and intellect.”

Cressida gave Eloise a smile. “Thank you Eloise. I very much appreciate you saying that.”

Eloise smiled triumphantly, knowing that she had the ability to instill some sense of happiness and potentially even hope in the older woman. “Of course! Tell me, what have you been doing since we last saw each other in the country?”

Cressida had found herself over at Aubry hall more than once that fall and winter. In fact, she was found promenading the gardens of the Bridgertons once a week before the first snowfall. After that, Eloise and Cressida could be found reading in the country home’s library. At first, the conversations were kept light and easy, as the two of them were trying to navigate themselves through this new found friendship. Eloise was shocked to learn that the two of them had quite a bit in common. Cressida was not the insincere socialite that Eloise thought she was. There was more to Cressida than just pink dresses and devious smiles.

As the days stretched on, their conversations deepened. They discussed books, their distaste for societal expectations, and their dreams beyond the rigid confines of their roles as women in high society. Eloise found herself increasingly fascinated by Cressida’s insights and the passion with which she spoke about topics that mattered to her. Each week that the blonde maiden came by, the more Eloise felt at ease with the predicament she found herself in. It was nice to know there was going to be at least one person in her corner when the spring and summer came. 

“I’ve been reading more, actually.”

Eloise raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? What have you been reading?”

“The same authors that I always do. However, I did come across a book by Mary Wollstonecraft at the market.” Cressida said with a smile. “I found her work to be quite enlightening.”

Eloise felt a surge of warmth at the thought of Cressida taking her suggestions to heart. “I’m glad you enjoyed them! Wollstonecraft is one of my favorite authors at the moment.”

“I know. I remember you telling me,” she stated, causing Eloise’s heart to skip a beat. She remembered. Cressida glanced about the room before she leaned closer to Eloise, her voice dropping slightly. “I must admit, I find her ideas rather revolutionary.”

Eloise’s eyes widened and a grin split her face. “She does have a way of challenging the status quo, doesn’t she?”

Before Cressida could respond, Francesca stepped down from the pedestal, and their mother approached. “Eloise, dear, we’re nearly finished here. Are you ready to go?”

Eloise nodded and turned back to Cressida. “It was lovely seeing you, Cressida. Perhaps we could continue our conversation another time?”

Cressida smiled warmly. “I’d like that very much, Eloise. Shall we promenade this Saturday in the afternoon?”

“I shall see you at the park!”

As the Bridgerton family prepared to leave the modiste, Eloise couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement at the prospect of seeing Cressida again. The unexpected connection they had formed in the country seemed to be growing, and Eloise was eager to see where it would go with the season coming up rather quickly. 

She turned to leave when she was met with yet another familiar face. 

Penelope Featherington. 

~

“Are you alright, Eloise?” Cressida asked and stood in front of Eloise during their walk.

“W-what? Yes! I mean- yes, of course, I’m alright, why would you-” 

“I can see right through that facade of yours, Eloise Bridgerton. You have been quiet all morning, and you have not once tried to probe me on any of my thoughts on the John Locke book you lent me a few days ago.” Cressida responded, crossing her arms and raising a pointed eyebrow. 

Eloise chewed on her bottom lip . Shit . She sighed and hung her head low. She had been unusually quiet this morning. The Bridgerton had been too busy ruminating on her run-in with Penelope at the modiste a few days ago. Old feelings had been drug up, and Eloise had felt like she was drowning in them. 

There was a part of her that does truly miss Pen. She missed their banter, the way that they would make fun of all the hopeless mamas giving away their daughters as if they were cattle, and how they would escape parties to go have fun somewhere else. She missed having someone know her like the back of their own hand. She was constantly replaying old memories in her head between the two of them. But she was still angry. She was betrayed by the one person she trusted the most in this cruel world. And then for that person to just avoid you all winter long?  For what reason? To give Eloise space because she was afraid that she did not want to see her? Eloise did not need space, she needed a friend. She needed to know that her whole world had not just fallen apart. 

And that was where Cressida came in. With her charming smile and quick wit. It was Miss Cowper that helped her back on her feet. Helped her gather her confidence to show her face again out in society. Cressida Cowper was the person who put Eloise Bridgerton back together again after Lady Whistledown had brought her castle crumbling.

A sigh escaped Eloise’s lips. “I saw Penelope at the modiste.”

Cressida nodded slightly, encouraging Eloise to share her feelings. “Did the two of you speak?”

Eloise nodded, “Yes. We… had an exchange of words.”

“And did the two of you repair things?”

She scoffed at that and stared down at the gravel beneath her feet, “No. No, we did not. What Penelope did is… I do not know if I could ever forgive her for what she did to me.” 

Cressida nodded and reached her hand out to Eloise, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry, friend. Just know that you are not alone anymore.”

Eloise’s heart skipped a beat at hearing Cressida refer to her as a friend. It warmed Eloise greatly to know she was no longer alone. Sure, she had her brothers and younger siblings, but this was different. This bond that had formed was not because of familial closeness, but of genuine thought and care. Eloise looked down at their joined hands and smiled.

“Thank you Cressida. You are truly more than what everyone thinks you to be,” Eloise spoke softly.

A small smile formed on Miss Cowper’s lips. “I should also like to thank you. For seeing me for more than a pretty face in frilly dresses.”

“Does your mama know that frills were in two seasons ago?”

The two of them laughed as they continued on their walk together. “She wants me to stand out amongst the crowds, especially now more than ever.”

“I’m sure she wants you to be the first thing the Lord Debling sees at this upcoming event.” Eloise stated, but could not help the bad taste it left in her mouth. 

“Let us hope for my sake that I am.”

~

Because you thought you could trust her? Why you are friends with Cressida in place of Penelope I will never understand. What could Penelope possibly have done to warrant such maltreatment?

I do appreciate your concern about cruelty, but perhaps you should like to find a looking glass rather than looking at me.

Eloise stared at the ceiling as Colin’s and Cressida’s words rang out in her thoughts. It hurt. 

Everything hurt. 

Colin would never know and could never understand what Penolope had done to her. Done to their family. She will never understand why Penelope did what she did to her, nor does she understand why she continues to do it. 

She convinced herself that the only reason why she held such contempt for Penelope was because of what dishonor she brought to the Bridgerton name. Because her mama and siblings had to suffer due to her actions. But deep down she knew that there were so many more reasons why it hurt. Because Penelope hid this from her. Because Penelope had made herself a more powerful woman than she was. The headache forming was becoming more preferable company than her feelings she had been dwelling on all night. 

Colin’s anger was valid. Penelope’s sadness was valid. Cressida’s frustration was valid. Everyone’s feelings on the situation were valid, but it’s infuriating that Eloise would never be able to explain her side of the story. That she would never voice the hurt that Penolope had done to her. So long as Penelope remained silent with her secret that she is indeed Lady Whistledown, Eloise’s side had to be shut up in a closet with the rest of her.

And as furious she still was at Penelope Featherington, Eloise could not stop herself from trying to defend her old best friend to her only friend. She rushed to assign blame, to at least try and shift some of the guilt she was feeling. Only for her to learn that Cressida had said absolutely nothing to nobody, despite Cressida not having any loyalty to Penelope. Cressida had said nothing because she was loyal to Eloise. She had kept Penelope’s secret for Eloise’s sake. Her heart ached as tears threatened to spill from eyes.

And now she doesn't even know if Cressida wants to even be her friend anymore. Cressida was right. Eloise was the cruel one. Perhaps even crueler than Penelope Featherington. She at least didn’t assign false blame to innocent people. 

It burned Eloise to her very core. She had to make this right with Cressida. There had to be some way she could make it up to the other woman. The woman who showed her kindness when no one else would. 

Not being able to stay in bed any longer, Eloise stood up and began to pace back and forth. Flowers. She could send her flowers. Roses. Cressida Cowper liked roses. Eloise glanced at the long dead lavender rose that Cressida gifted her that first day. It died many months ago, but Eloise could not bring herself to throw it away. No, I could not bring her something as cliche as flowers. Maybe a different gift. There was a butterfly pin she saw Cressida eyeing in the market before she was whisked away by her mother. Really? A pin?

Bang.

“Shit!” Eloise cursed as her knee collided with her writing desk within her room. There was sure to be a bruise there in the morning. Eloise looked down and saw that her quill and paper had tumbled to the floor, causing a small mess. She sighed as she bent down to pick everything up. 

And that’s when it hit her.

A letter.

She could write Cressida a letter. 

After quickly picking up the paper and quills from the floor, she sat down at her desk and got to work.

~

Knock knock knock

“Eloise! Eloise, it is time to-” Violet Bridgerton opened the door to Eloise’s room to check on her after she had failed to show up to breakfast. What was behind the door shocked her. She had expected to see many things, knowing her daughter’s antics. However she did not expect to see her fifth born passed out at her desk, quill still in her left hand, ink smudged across her nose and nearly a hundred crumpled up pieces of parchment tossed about the room. 

Curiosity getting the best of her, Violet bent down and grabbed a few of the tossed pieces of paper. As she unfolded them and began to read, a soft smile spread across her lips. Oh, my dearest Eloise . She grabbed one of the lighter blankets from Eloise’s bed before gently draping it over her shoulders. She smoothed back a few errant strands of hair before leaning down to plant a soft kiss on the side of Eloise’s head.

As she left the room, Violet paused in the doorway, taking one last glance at her sleeping daughter. There was a tenderness in her gaze, a mother’s love and understanding for the unique spirit that was Eloise. She quietly closed the door behind her, leaving Eloise to her dreams and thoughts, knowing that whatever path her daughter chose, she would always support her.

~

Eloise paced back and forth in the drawing room for 20 minutes. In the early hours of the morning, she had a messenger send Cressida a note requesting her presence at the Bridgerton residence around 2 PM. She was nervous. She had spent all night trying to find the right words to apologize to Cressida, but found that nothing seemed right. She didn’t know what to do at this point, but she knew she had to do something or she was going to lose Cressida all together, and Eloise could not let that happen.

Eloise was brought out of her thoughts by the door opening and her maid entering.  “Miss Bridgerton, Cressida Cowper is here to see you.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She came . Eloise quickly cleared her throat. “Please, uh, send her up. And fetch us some tea, if it is no trouble.”

“Of course, my lady.” Her maid smiled kindly at Eloise, and left to escort Cressida up the stairs. 

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened again and in stepped Miss Cressida Cowper. She was wearing a delicate, sky-blue gown that complemented her fair complexion and brought out the soft blue of her eyes. Her golden hair was arranged in an intricate updo, with a few loose tendrils framing her face. She was beautiful. 

The two stood there in silence, just taking the other one in. It had been a full week since they last saw one another. Since Eloise had accused Cressida of gossiping about Penelope’s arrangement she had made with Colin. 

“You came.” Eloise tried to say it as a statement, but it almost sounded like a question. As if she could not believe that Cressida really came to see her.

Cressida nodded. “I did. I figured it was rather urgent since you sent a messenger to our estate at 5:30 in the morning.”

Eloise almost laughed at that. It sounded rather ridiculous what she had done coming from another person. Eloise coughed slightly, before taking a few steps towards the other girl, “Cressida… I wanted to apologize for accusing you of gossiping about my brother’s arrangement with Pen. It was- I should have known that you were better than that. I know that you are better than that.” Eloise’s voice cracked slightly at the admission. “If you wish to no longer engage with my company, I quite understand.”

Cressida's eyes softened as she listened to Eloise. "Eloise, I understand why you were upset and it’s not like there was much evidence that it wasn’t me," Cressida replied gently. "This society we live in can make us all paranoid and quick to judge. And in the past, it was something I would have probably done. You were not entirely in the wrong accusing me… But I would never do anything like that now to hurt your family or you. Especially you, Eloise." Cressida finished, looking at Eloise a little intensely. As though she needed for Eloise to understand that Cressida would never do anything to purposefully hurt her.

Eloise sighed and smiled slightly. The feeling of relief had begun to wash over her knowing that Cressida was no longer angry at her "I- thank you, Cressida. I was just so overwhelmed and scared. Everything felt like it was falling apart, and I lashed out at you. And I’m- I’m just sorry.”

Cressida gave a small smile. "Apology accepted.”

Eloise motioned for Cressida to sit on the couch, and they both took their seats. The maid returned with a tray of tea, placing it on the table before quietly leaving the room. Eloise poured two cups and handed one to Cressida.

“Hmm, did you finish reading that book of poetry I gave to you last time I was here?” Cressida asked, as she scooted closer to Eloise. 

“I did! I finished it two days ago. I will never truly understand poetry. I do not understand why they simply cannot say what they mean.” Eloise said, exasperated. She didn’t like poetry. She hated it. But Cressida liked poetry, so she was willing to give it a chance.

Cressida giggled, “Of course you cannot, Eloise. Not everyone can be as direct and honest as you are.”

“The world would run a lot smoother if they could.”

Cressida’s giggle turned into a full out laugh. She put a hand on Eloise’s thigh, causing Eloise to blush red, but she could not help but laugh with Cressida. 

Their laughter died down after a bit and the two simply just looked at one another. Grey and Blue eyes stared at each other for a while. Neither of them said anything. But neither of them felt the need to at that moment. Because at this moment, their presence was enough for a while.

~

“We shall finish this another time,” Cressida stated quickly, before running off to chase down Lord Debling. 

Eloise closed her eyes and sighed. She was tired. Tired of being left. Tired of people asking for her thoughts only for them to up and abandon them the second something even remotely more interesting occurred. She thought that Cressida was different. Hoped that she would be different. After all this time they had spent together, Eloise really thought she was getting through to the blonde damsel. That Cressida need not be a wife for her to find worth and purpose in this life. But it would seem that old habits died screaming.

Cressida had taken Penelope’s place after her brother Colin so rudely interjected himself between the two of them. Eloise watched the interaction between the lord and lady. The lord seemed to be distressed, but nonetheless he took Lady Cressida’s hand, and they waltzed through the dance floor with the rest of the pairings. 

Eloise sank onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. She couldn’t help but feel a profound sense of betrayal. She had bared her soul to Cressida, believing in a connection that now felt like a fragile illusion. It was all in your head, El.  Her heart ached with the weight of disappointment and she could feel her eyes begin to burn as tears threatened to fall. But Eloise would not allow them to. Not here. Not now. 

It did not take long before Eloise looked up, and she watched Lord Debling and Cressida dance about the ball. The sight of them together was a stark reminder of her misplaced hope. She felt a pang of longing as she observed Cressida’s graceful movements and the polite, beautiful smile that always adorned her face.

As the music swelled and the dance drew to a close, Eloise saw the lord lean in to whisper something to Cressida. Whatever he said caused her to pale slightly, and she nodded with a forced smile. Eloise’s chest tightened as she watched Lord Debling bow before turning away from Cressida, leaving her alone on the dance floor. Cressida looked almost panicked and uncertain. She turned head towards the nearest exit, and made haste for it.

“Cressida. Cressida!” Eloise called after the other woman, as she saw her walk off in tears on the opposite side of the ballroom. Before Eloise even knew what she was doing, she was chasing after her. Dodging and weaving through the crowd without as much as a ‘pardon me.’ 

She finally made it to the hallway outside of the ballroom just in time to see Cressida duck inside a door all the way down at the end of the hall. Eloise picked up her skirt and rushed forth.

She opened the door, and what she found inside damn near broke her already broken heart.

There inside was Cressida Cowper sitting on a brown leather couch, in what Eloise assumed was someone’s study with the large bookshelves everywhere and the large desk in the center of the room, with her head in her hands and tears streaming down her face. 

“Cressida,” Eloise spoke softly before settling down next to her on the couch.

“Eloise.” Cressida’s voice cracked. “Please, just leave me alone.”

Eloise laughed slightly, and wrapped her arms around the girl, allowing Cressida to bury her face in the crook of her neck, “I could never just leave you alone. Not after everything you have done for me.” 

Cressida sobbed harder at that, her body shaking with the force of her emotions. Eloise held her tighter, whispering soothing words and gently stroking her hair.

“Why are you here, Eloise?” Cressida finally managed to ask, her voice muffled against Eloise’s shoulder.

“Because I care about you,” Eloise replied without hesitation. “You’ve been there for me, Cressida. You’ve shown me kindness and support when I needed it most. How could I not do the same for you?”

Cressida looked up at Eloise before letting her forehead rest against hers, “Thank you.”

Eloise had to strain her ears to hear Cressida say it. “You’re very welcome.”

They sat together in silence for a while, both trying to process the events of the night. Eloise briefly thought about how things were going between Colin and Penelope, but at this moment in time, she did not particularly care. Not when Cressida was in such a state of distress. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eloise probed gently, carefully tucking a stray hair out of Cressida’s face. 

Cressida scoffed at the question, “What is there to say, Eloise?” She looked at the brunette pointedly. “I was left - again - for a third time this season.” A bitter chuckle escaped Cressida’s lips as tears began to form in her eyes again. “First , the Prince of Prussia. God, Daphne was not even interested in him! She only used him to get to the Duke and it worked . And he walked away from me as if I was nothing to him. Just another pathetic debutant vying for his affection. And then there was the Lord Featherington! God, how embarrassing and pathetic was that? And now here I am, once again being stood up a third time.” Cressida could not sit any longer. She began to pace between the green walls of the room. 

“Cressida, it is going to be alright.” Eloise stood and tried to reason with her. “Lord Debling just needs time to process the events of the night. I’m sure tomorrow he will see that Penelope was not right for him and-”

“It’s not going to happen, Eloise. He told me that this was a mistake and that he never should have come to London in the first place. He is probably already arranging for his departure first thing in the morning!” Cressida snapped. 

Eloise bit her lip. “Then what does it matter anymore, Cressida? There is still so much more to the season, who is to say that you won’t catch someone else’s eye!” She already has. God, did it physically pain Eloise to be saying all of this. All she wanted to do was to help Cressida find hope again. Help her realize that not all was lost yet. 

“You do not know what it is like, Eloise! To be turned down with every chance that there is hope for me! You do not know what it is like to be looked through time and time again, as though I am nothing but another thoughtless debutante in this town! That nobody could bother to try and stay and truly know me before something better comes along.”

Something inside Eloise snapped at that very moment. Eloise did not know what it was like? I do not know what it’s like? How could Cressida even begin to know what it has been like for Eloise, when that was her entire life? Eloise Bridgerton was the fifth child of eight. She was the second daughter of four. She was the only one of the sisters who could not fathom why marriage must be the only thing that a woman was meant for. The only one in her family that consistently questioned and defied high society’s expectations of women. 

“I do not know what it’s like? I do not know what it is like? Of course I know what it’s like, Cressida! I have been overlooked my entire life! As the fifth Bridgerton child, I am constantly overshadowed by my older siblings' successes and the potential of my younger ones. I am the girl who does not fit into society's neat little box, and I refuse to pretend otherwise! Do you know how exhausting it is to be constantly reminded that I am not living up to what is expected of me? Do you know how many times I have been dismissed because I am not interested in marriage or playing the part of the perfect debutante? For Christ's sake, I was made London’s pariah for my actions of last season! Do you know how many people looked through me then!? All they saw was a petulant, dangerous girl who was nothing but trouble for others. They didn’t see me, Eloise Bridgerton, with thoughts and feelings. They only saw impropriety and misconduct. Everything a lady should not be in this society!”

Cressida stopped pacing, and stared at Eloise with wide eyes. “I… I didn’t realize-”

“Of course you didn’t!” Eloise shouted. “Because you’ve been dealing with your own pain and suffering. And I understand that. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re not enough, to feel like you’re invisible. But you’re not alone, Cressida. I see you. I will always see you, Cressida Cowper.” Eloise stated in finality.

The tension between the two of them could be cut with a knife. Eloise was practically panting at this point. God, all Eloise wanted to do was to grab Cressida by her shoulders and shake her until she saw what she was to Eloise. The raw emotion hung in the air was almost palpable. It was clear that both women were teetering on the edge of something life altering. 

“Oh, to hell with it all,” Eloise stated, before closing the distance between the two of them. 

Cressida gasped slightly as Eloise’s lips met hers, but the shock lasted a mere couple seconds before she kissed her back in earnest. Eloise carefully placed a hand on the side of Cressida’s face, while the other was planted firmly on her hip. 

Cressida placed a hand on the front of Eloise’s dress, holding onto it in fear that she would leave her, and the other on the shorter girl’s shoulder in hopes of being able to steady herself.

Eloise felt as though a thousand suns had suddenly set ablaze in her heart. The deep devotion she felt towards this woman, so that she may never know cruelty again, burns as the hottest of wild fires. Eloise had never been good with feelings, but she prayed to all the gods that could exist that Cressida understood what she was trying to convey in this kiss. That she wanted her and that she desired her. 

Cressida deepened the kiss, tilting her head downwards, and allowing her tongue to swipe the other girl's lower lip. A moan came forth from Eloise’s lips, as she eagerly opened her mouth to Cressida’s. Eloise found her lungs burning in need of oxygen, but in this kiss she couldn't care less. If she suffocated at the hands of Cressida, she would die a happy woman. 

The two continued to battle for dominance in their heated kiss. Lips and tongues combated one another with passion and need. Both of them were desperately trying to gain the upper hand on the other. 

As if they had a mind of their own, Eloise’s hands began to roam Cressida’s body. From the baby hairs on the back of her neck, to her perfect breasts that seemed to fit perfectly in Eloise’s hands, down to the curvature of her bottom, and back up again. She needed to know every inch Cressida. She wanted to map every scare, every freckle or blemish across the blonde's body. 

“Eloise” Cressida whispered against her lips between messy kisses “Eloise please.”

There was nothing on this earth that Eloise would not do for Cressida. She would cross all of the earth’s oceans. She would walk through hell’s fire and back again. She would lead this town into revolution if it meant that she could see Cressida like this. Beg for her like this. 

Eloise’s feet began walking them towards the nearest surface they could stumble upon. Cressida found the backs of her legs met with a large oak desk. “Eloise,” Cressida moaned once more. Her hand moved from the front of Eloise’s dress to tangle into Eloise’s hair, tugging ever so slightly, eliciting a gutteral sound from deep within Eloise’s throat, and causing Eloise to bite down harshly on Cressida’s lower lip. 

The hand that was cupping Cressida’s cheek moved its way down the sides of Cressida’s body, resting on her thigh, while the other tangled in Cressida’s golden locks tugging her head gently to the side exposing her neck. Eloise moved her lips from Cressida's mouth down the side of her neck, sucking and nipping gently as she went, and back up towards her earlobe, “Tell me what you want” she whispered huskily in her ear, causing Cressida to arch her back and pressed further into Eloise. 

“You Eloise…just you.”

“In what way my darling?”

“In every way.” Cressida pulled Eloise back to her, and their mouth’s connected in ferver once more. Eloise could feel the anguish in Cressida’s actions, how she desperately held onto Eloise with every fiber of her being. As if she could slip away as a phantom that was never there to begin with. And all she wanted to do was give Cressida everything that she was, both inside and out. 

Eloise broke the kiss and looked deep into Cressida’s pale blue eyes. The desire and yearning they both felt towards each other in that very moment as they began to breathe together in unison. They both looked down as Eloise moved her hand from Cressida’s thigh down to her skirts. Cressida’s breath hitched as Eloise made contact with her smooth supple skin. Eloise moved her hand that was tangled in Cressida’s tresses to cup her face once more. Eloise held Cressida’s gaze, waiting to be given consent to press forward. 

“Cress.”

“Please Eloise…touch me.”

Cressida grabbed Eloise’s hands, and led them further underneath her skirt towards the center of body. A gasp escaped Cressida’s lips as Eloise fingers grazed her centerfolds. Eloise quickly silenced Cressida with a kiss, so that no one outside these four walls could hear the whines or pleas coming from them. With one final look of assurance, Eloise slowly rubbed two fingers along Cressida’s folds. Cressida pushed her arm onto the desk in attempts at holding herself up as she lost herself in Eloise’s touch, her other hand clutching Eloise’s arm. 

Eloise felt drunk on Cressida. Every sigh, moan, and whine she could not get enough of it. She wanted more, needed for Cressida to understand how truly besotted Eloise was for her.

Eloise took a deep breath before sliding one finger through her folds and entered her. Cressida’s mouth fell open but no sound escaped, only inconsistent sharp rapid breaths. She started a slow pace, working a single digit inside and out slowly, easing Cressida into the feeling of bliss. She watched her reactions closely learning which of Eloise’s actions elicited certain reactions from Cressida. A high pitch whine escaped Cressida’s lips as Eloise crooked her finger up hitting a particular spot within Cressida. Emboldened by this new discovery Eloise added a second finger, and began pumping into her harder, hitting that same spot every time. 

Cressida’s breaths came faster, moans came out louder, and Eloise had a feeling that she was close to reaching ecstasy. And Eloise would stop at nothing to make sure her lover got there. Cressida was absolutely wrecked by what the shorter woman was doing to her. Her hair was tossed, a sheen of sweat across her brow, lips puffy and bruised and she was panting as if her next breath would be her last. And she had never looked more gorgeous to Eloise in the time that she had known her. She picked up the pace of her fingers, and had her thumb press down on the bundle of nerves just above her opening. 

Eloise could not believe that this was happening right now. 

“Fuck I love you” Eloise cursed without allowing herself to think before she spoke.

And with that declaration, Cressida had completely come undone beneath Eloise. Her legs began to buckle, but Eloise held her up whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she came back down to earth, as she worked her through her orgasm. It took a few minutes but eventually Cressida’s breathing eventually came back to her, and Eloise slowly removed her finger’s from her love.

“Are you alright darling” Eloise inquired softly as she smoothed Cressida’s hair down, carefully tucking strands of hair back into place.

“Did you mean it?” Cressida asked, voice shaking ever so slightly.

“Mean what? 

“That you love me?”

Eloise looked deeply into her eyes, and without missing a beat, replied “Of course I did.” Cressida smiled and chuckled slightly as tears began to fall down her face. Eloise cupped her face in her hands, gently wiping her tears away, “I love you Cressida Cowper.” She placed a kiss on her forehead, then her nose, and then her lips

Cressida sighed into the kiss before pulling away. She leaned her forehead to Eloise’s “And I love you Eloise Bridgerton…more than I ever thought possible.”

A blissful smile broke out onto Eloise’s face. Love is something she never thought imaginable would ever come her way. And yet it came in the form of crystal blue eyes. Sunshine golden hair. Skin smooth as silk chiffon. A smile so dazzling it could light up any room. Love came to her in Cressida Cowper.

Slowly, a roguish smirk broke out onto Cressida’s face, and her eyes showed deviousness. Before Eloise even could comprehend what was happening, their positions switched, and Eloise found herself sitting on the edge of desk.

Eloise’s eyes widened, “Darling, what-”

“Hush now love” Cressida purred into Eloise’s left ear, nipping at it slightly, causing a shiver to run down her spine, “My turn.”

Eloise’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, as Cressida kissed her way down her neck and shoved her straps to the side to access her shoulder as well. She was in pure ecstasy right now. Her hands quickly flew up to tangle themselves into Cressida’s hair and soft moans came out, “Oh god.”

“Not quite my love, but close enough” Cressida flashed a grin at her before moving her way back up her neck and gave a chaste kiss. “Now sit back and relax.” Her hands moved from Eloise’s upper back down the front of her chest and body, before Cressida quickly gathered up Eloise’s skirt before disappearing underneath her dress all together.

Eloise gasped and moaned as she felt Cressida kiss and bit along her inner thighs. Her back arched fully as she felt Cressida lick a long stripe across her folds. The feeling was indescribable, it was pure ecstasy and she wanted more.

“Cress please” Eloise begged arching her back even more, trying to find purchase on Miss Cowper’s lips. 

And that is when she felt Cressida’s tongue flick back and forth on her clit. White hot searing desire burned within Eloise. The noises emanating from Eloise was music to Cressida’s ears and it only encouraged her goal of making Eloise Bridgerton come apart.

Eloise was close. She was so close. She fell back onto the desk, propping herself up with her elbows and a white knuckled grip along the edges of the oak desk. This feeling was unlike anything she had ever felt, and for once she understood what it was like to be one of those girls in all of those silly romance books Cressida adored to read. Eloise almost laughed at herself but found she could not even begin a mere chuckle before another groan was ripped out from her core.

“Cressida please…I’m- I’m going-”

And then it happened. She felt it, and her arousal came flooding out more than she thought possible. Stars. Eloise saw stars for the first time in her life. She had to bite her lips so her screams of ecstasy could not be heard by anyone outside of the room. But she almost did not care about anyone else at that moment. She could only focus on the euphoria that was blanketed around the two of them. 

Cressida came out from underneath Eloise’s skirt. Her mouth glistened from Eloise’s arousal. The look of sin had never looked more wonderful to her. She reached forward and kissed Cressida. The taste of herself on Cressida’s lips was almost enough for her to fall apart all over again.

Eloise was unsure of what was to happen between the two of them in the upcoming days. But it did not matter to her much at the moment. In this moment all that she could focus on was that Cressida was hers. And she belonged to Cressida. She didn’t know how but she promised herself that she would stay by Cressida’s side no matter what happened. 

She would stay.

They would stay.