Chapter Text
The Enterprise was never truly still: be it artificial night or day, there was always someone out and about in the hallways - heading to the bowling alley, visiting others' quarters, putting in overtime in the labs. Today, though, the whole ship was buzzing with a single goal in mind, like a hive of tired little worker bees. Shore leave was all everyone could think about. Every conversation inevitably lead to discussions of how the next five days would be spent. As Kirk walked around his ship, he was met with beaming smiles from his crewmen. Most were hauling luggage from their storage compartments; friends assembled into rowdy companies, those who had been placed on different shifts finally had a chance to spend time together again. Kirk ordered the labs to start closing shop as soon as shore leave was announced, knowing from experience that no work ever gets done when a break is in sight. As a result of this, fanatic lab rats were forced out of their natural habitats for the first time in months, and now stood around awkwardly, trying to get adjusted to society again.
A lot of folks were already wearing civilian clothing. Kirk saw Chekov in a pair of swimming trunks with dolphins on them.
“Good day to you, Captain!” he said.
“Hello, Mr. Chekov. I see you're ready for the beach?”
“Can't miss an opportunity like that, sir. The water near the shore should be around twenty-two degrees. In Motherland, that's considered a hot tub.”
“Sounds lovely. Enjoy your leave,” said Kirk and was just about to walk away when Chekov asked:
“Will you be beaming down too?”
He opened his mouth to say “no, of course not” like he always did and immediately closed it again, remembering the notice from command he'd received in the morning. His stomach sank thinking about it...
James T. Kirk, this is your third and final warning. You are four months overdue on leave. No more extensions will be made. If you do not sign off within the next forty-eight hours, you will be placed on temporary suspension.
Kirk wasn't naïve. One couldn't keep dodging the Department of Humanoid Resources forever, be they the savior of the galaxy. Still, it was unpleasant to leave his duties, mental health be damned. He was certain he got enough rest after work.
He looked at Chekov in his ridiculous swimming trunks, floral shirt and bucket hat. Kirk could hardly match his energy - still in uniform, with an obviously displeased face expression. Not what a captain should look like when their crew is taking leave. Kirk forced his mouth into a slight smile and said to Chekov:
“Yes, I will beam down later today.”
Chekov smiled in return.
“Then I hope you have fun, Captain!”
“Thank you.”
Chekov scurried to the lift, and Kirk was left feeling strangely guilty. He felt like Ebenezer Scrooge from the old Terran novella, morose when all of his subordinates were happy, refusing to appreciate what was freely given to him.
He pictured the planet, trying to spark a sense of joy within himself. Viola-9, a beautiful exoplanet perfectly fit for a human colony. It was remarkably similar to Earth, with abundant plant life and vast oceans that looked purple from space, earning the planet its name. Only six years ago, two hundred humans settled in a temperate zone to start building a new life. Naturally, they were eager to accept a visit from a starship. The temperate forests on Viola were teeming with megafauna, so the settlement had been built right by the sea. It just so happened there was a very nice beach there.
Kirk had figured that a relaxing beach vacation was exactly what his crew needed. Sure, the colony didn't have much in the way of shops or entertainment, but that could prove to be a benefit. A few days out in nature with mild exercise and absolutely zero intellectual work could do wonders for the brain. That didn't mean Kirk was going to enjoy it.
Alright, he'd beam down, breathe some fresh air, and then what? What was he going to do down there for five days? Kirk could almost feel the gaze of eight hundred eyes, painfully aware that even though he was off duty, he remained their captain. It was hard to be casual around his crewmen while being a celebrity to them and having the ability to seize control of their lives. There was always a note of submission in his interactions with them. A captain needed to sustain a slightly exaggerated image of power - not to boost his own ego, but to maintain morale. How many times was the Enterprise on the very edge of destruction? If they knew the whole truth, it is doubtful the crew would remain so calm and loyal. Sometimes Kirk would run around the ship during a red alert and be surprised how...normal everything felt. His people carried on with their daily lives, as if they didn't know they were in mortal danger. They trusted him, because he'd saved them so many times.
Captain Kirk has it under control.
Captain Kirk will handle it.
Captain Kirk always figures something out.
It was impossible to make friends with people who regarded him a minor deity.
Kirk figured his best bet was to gear up and go on a very long hiking trip, as far away from society as possible. He needed the exercise - he hadn't had much time for the gym as of late - and he could be away from prying eyes. Not that Kirk really liked being alone. He'd much rather have brought a friend along.
Well, there was always one friend he could rely on...two, really, but oh, how he wished it was as simple with the second one...
Don't be ungrateful, Jim, he told himself, you have Bones.
The ship's CMO held no illusions about Kirk's power, and was never intimidated by his authority. At least with him, Kirk could be himself, which was why he was headed to sickbay - to see what plans Bones had, and potentially recruit him for the hiking trip.
Sickbay was blissfully empty except for Chapel and Bones himself. Seeing Kirk enter, Chapel hurried to the exit.
“Right, I'll be going then, so you can talk in peace. Hello, Captain.”
Kirk greeted Chapel, eyeing Bones. For once, the CMO had dropped his grumpy mask and looked...downright cheerful. It was a strange look on him. He was busy arranging equipment into its proper places.
“Hi, Jim. Why the long face?” Bones said right away.
Ah, the smile. Kirk had forgotten about it.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Sure it isn't,” said Bones, slamming a drawer, “Come sit and have a drink.”
Kirk lowered himself onto a chair.
“I don't think this is the time. I'm beaming down in two hours.”
Bones turned around, smiling happily at him.
“Jim! Finally!”
“Yes, well, command hasn't left me much of a choice.”
Bones clapped him on the shoulder.
“Whatever the cause, I couldn't be happier - as your doctor and your friend. Rest is exactly what you need, rest and relaxation.”
Kirk nodded, not trying to feign enthusiasm.
“What's got you down, then?” Bones asked. Kirk took a few seconds to formulate his problem, but got interrupted:
“Don't tell me it's about that pointy-eared devil again.”
Kirk should really have gotten used to it by now. He couldn't stop the blood from flowing to his face.
“No, Bones, it's -”
“What is that bastard thinking, making you chase after him like a schoolboy! He needs a good talking-to, and if you'd just let me-”
“It's not Spock! It's not him, alright?” said Kirk, “It's just...I can't imagine myself relaxing down there, with the crew and all...”
Bones' expression softened.
“It's foolish, I know,” Kirk continued, “But I'm not used to taking leave like this. Everyone is there, and to them, I'm still the captain.”
Bones nodded and sat across from Kirk, leaning in closer.
“It's like you'll still be on duty, but with nothing to do at the same time.”
“Exactly. Which is why I've decided to go on a hike instead, and was wondering if you'd join me.”
“Oh, hell no! The only place I'll be hiking is from my chair to the bar. And I don't recommend you go, either, because if some beast mauls you, you're gonna have to wait for me to finish my book before I patch you up.”
Kirk laughed for the first time that day.
“I figured, but hey - it was worth a shot. What are you reading, anyway?”
Bones' eyes lit up.
“Hold on, I'll show you.”
He rushed to the supply room and emerged with a stack of three fat books - real books, crafted in the Terran style with paper.
“Antiques?” asked Kirk.
“Special editions. It's hard to read off of a PADD screen in broad daylight.”
Kirk picked up the top book.
“Healing Souls: Book One...young Izabel Wexley makes a pact with a demon to gain magical powers...follow her on her quest to become the best healer in the land in order to eventually resurrect her dead father...Bones, I think this is for teenagers.”
“Young adults, excuse you. And who are you to judge? You read Percy Jackson at the academy. Religiously, might I add.”
“It's had a massive impact on American literature in the twenty-first century!”
“Of course. And you can read it again instead of looking for an excuse to endanger yourself.”
Kirk sighed, defeated.
“You're right, I shouldn't go - not by myself. But I don't want to slosh around the colony either. I'll just get treated as entertainment.”
“Mhm-mm. Always adored, never seen as a fellow human. All the happy couples reminding you how alone you are.”
Kirk gave Bones a glare - half insulted, half self-conscious.
“I was right. This is about that pointy-eared devil, isn't it?” said Bones, “He's refused to take leave again. You're upset because you wanted to spend it with him. You don't feel at home without him by your side.”
You son of a bitch, thought Kirk, simultaneously touched and embarrassed about being known so well.
“And you say you're not a shrink,” he said.
“Kid, with the way you make eyes at him on the bridge, it doesn't take a shrink.”
Kirk groaned, now thoroughly blushing.
“Oh Bones, it's unbearable. It's like my whole world keeps turning around him, making me dizzy, and it’s not slowing down.”
He felt a strong, warm hand on his shoulder.
“You should take him with you.”
“Are you mad?!” Kirk exclaimed, “Even if he somehow agrees, imagine being stuck with some...annoying buffoon who's obsessed with you, and being too polite to reject him outright! For five days!”
“Shhh, Jim. He does like you, as a person at least. And despite what he tells you, he needs rest, too. You'll have a grand time!”
“But he'll be right there,” said Kirk, placing his face in his hands, “The whole time. I'll end up doing something foolish, I know it.”
“I'm sure his sensitive Vulcan pride can take it.”
“No. No, that's the thing. He can't know, it would be...a betrayal. He has a friend in me; the only friend that sees him for what he is. Vulcans want him to be fixed by erasing his emotion. Humans want him to be fixed by destroying his self-control. I want neither, and he appreciates me for it. Trying to make him my...what, boyfriend? Lover? It would be like trying to push him back into human norms. I can't ask that from him.”
Bones furrowed his brow, processing.
“Alright, kid, you're making just about zero sense, but I know you won't listen to me.”
Kirk shook his head. He felt weirdly emotional, throat clenching. His heart ached thinking of Spock.
“How can you understand if you make a point of refusing to understand Vulcans?”
“Case and point. Look,” said Bones, leaning closer to him, “Consider for a second that he feels the same. What would he do?”
“He doesn't-”
“Consider.”
Kirk huffed.
“Well, I'd imagine he'd feel pretty ashamed about it. He would...try to ignore it, shy away from me.”
Bones nodded.
“And look - he's stone cold as ever, hasn't told you anything, and refuses to go on leave with you.”
Kirk laughed bitterly.
“Don't torture my poor human heart.”
“Jim,” Bones said softly, “All I'm asking is that you give him an opportunity. You're a man who rushes headfirst into everything, but not everyone is like that! You'd be amazed at what a few days away from work can do. Let him relax, let him soften up. Once you're down there, it will all seem so much simpler, trust me.”
Kirk looked into the doctor's kind eyes - clever eyes. He was a diplomat, sure, but somehow, he felt inclined to trust Bones.
“You think he loves me?”
“Who knows what goes on under that shiny bowl cut, really. But I think - if he loves anyone, it's you.”
Kirk couldn't help but smile, and the little flame of hope he'd been trying desperately to put out began to grow again. Hiking could wait until another time. He was going with Spock.
“Thank you.”
“Oh, it's all selfish motives.”
“What?”
“Nevermind. Go, go convince him, you have an hour thirty.”
Kirk got up and was about to leave, but stopped to add:
“I'm glad I have you, Bones. You sure you don't want me to keep you company?”
“No thank you. Had quite enough of everyone these past few months. Though, if the Christmas elf decides you're not worthy, feel free to join me on the beach - as long as you keep your mouth shut.”