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A soft sound broke through the quiet silence of the night, sort of like wings fluttering. To the normal person, the noise wouldn’t be noticeable. You’d miss it unless you were actively listening for it.
To a rabbit with highly sensitive ears, it was loud enough to invade his dreams and wake him up from the best sleep he’d had in years.
The first thing Jax noticed when he opened his eyes was the darkness surrounding him, before the room slowly came into focus, like light at the end of a tunnel.
The second thing he noticed was the familiar, intoxicating scent lingering in the air. It made him remember that he certainly hadn’t been dreaming, that everything that had happened over the past several hours was indeed real.
The third thing he noticed—or rather felt—was Ragatha’s soft body tucked against him, sleeping peacefully in his arms. Face buried in her red curls, Jax inhaled deeply. He could smell her everywhere. God, he wanted to drown in her scent. Sweet and calming, just like the rag doll was. For good measure, he rubbed his chin on her head a few times, just to make sure his own scent remained.
His ears focused on the soft thumping sound once more, and Jax realized it was Ragatha’s heartbeat. He pressed a hand to her chest. He could feel it.
He wasn’t sure when they’d fallen asleep, but it had to have been a few hours ago at least. He could tell it wasn’t quite morning yet, even though their bedrooms had no windows and technically morning and night didn’t really exist in this digital world. Rather, it was an illusion that brought some normalcy to their day-to-day.
Ragatha hummed in her sleep. Jax felt her move, her arm tightening over his chest as she burrowed her head deep into his side. She wrapped her leg around his own, like she was trying to melt into him and be as close as possible. Careful so as not to wake her, Jax pressed a soft kiss to his doll’s forehead.
Jax hadn’t realized it until now: Ragatha was just as touch-starved as he was. To prove it, he tried pulling himself out of her grasp. He grinned when her grip tightened.
No one had come to disturb them after the entire circus had seen them together, wrapped in each other’s arms on the floor of his room. He vaguely remembered the shocked looks on all their faces before he’d slammed the door, too busy and lost in Ragatha to give it any more care or thought.
He kept smiling to himself, imagining the conversation the others must’ve had after that. He thought about how odd it must’ve been for them to see him—Jax—the one everyone loved to hate, wrapped in the arms of sweet and wonderful Ragatha, everyone’s favorite. How she chose him of all people. How she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He hoped it left them confused and guessing. He hoped it ate them up inside.
He supposed he should try to fall back to sleep. He longed to return to that comforting warmth he’d felt from the moment they’d kissed that first time, and everything that followed. How could he ever go without it again? How did he do it before?
He closed his eyes, but instead of sleeping, for some reason his mind drifted back to when they’d first met. That awful first day he’d joined the circus…
~
“Get the F$@& AWAY FROM ME!”
He heard himself scream. He didn’t know where he was.
Why couldn’t he swear? What the fuck was happening to him? There, he heard it in his brain. But why couldn’t he form the word on his tongue?
“Where am I?”
He looked around nervously. The colors were so bright. His eyes hurt. He brought his hand up to shield his eyes, and he felt something soft where his skin was supposed to be. He gripped it. It was almost like…fur.
Oh God…
“It’s okay,” a soft voice said. “Calm down. It’s all going to be okay, I promise. Just breathe.”
He looked up. His heart threatened to break through his chest, it was beating so hard. A doll was talking to him. Or at least she looked like a doll. She had red hair that looked like yarn and a button where one of her eyes was supposed to be. She was smiling kindly at him, but there was an obvious sadness in her expression.
Behind her, he saw a…wooden coat rack? A tree? He looked closer, and realized it was a chess piece with eyes. There were others too. Different creatures and strange shapes. All of them were staring at him.
“Get away from me,” he said again, backing up. “All of you, just get away.” His back hit a wall.
There was no where to go.
“Okay,” the doll said, nodding as she backed away. “My name’s Ragatha, by the way,” she rubbed her arms nervously. “We’re your friends. We’re not going to hurt you. What’s your name?”
He was about to tell her his name. He wanted to. Then, to his absolute horror, he realized…
He couldn’t remember it.
-
The soft knock on his door went unanswered at first. Jax—the name he’d decided on and chose for himself—only answered because the knocking had become persistent and he wanted to try to sleep.
He opened his door angrily to see that rag doll girl standing there, looking nervous.
“Hey Jax,” she smiled at him.
“What do you want?” He looked at her.
“Nothing, I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”
Jax laughed mirthlessly. “Oh, I’m fantastic,” he sneered. “I’m trapped in the digital body of a stupid-looking purple rabbit. How do you think I am?”
The doll flinched. “I—well—just know that I’m just next door if you ever need anything. Or if you ever want to talk.” She smiled kindly at him again. Jax wished she would stop smiling so much. There was nothing to smile about.
“Yeah, no thanks,” he said, before slamming the door in her face.
-
“It’s okay,” Ragatha’s voice whispered.
Jax felt her hand on his back, rubbing circles there. He just lay there on his bed, unmoving. He didn’t look at her. Another abstraction today…another one of them was gone.
“Take all the time you need,” she continued. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Jax really wanted to believe that.
~
Jax didn’t realize how hard he was gripping Ragatha. Lost in his memories, the room suddenly came back to him as she stirred against his side.
“Jax?”
His ears perked up at Ragatha’s soft, tired voice. He hadn’t meant to wake her up. The dream had felt so real, even if it was only a distant memory now. He pushed it out of his head.
“Hey,” he replied, flashing her a lazy smile.
Ragatha sat up and stretched. Immediately, the warmth Jax felt with her pressed against him was replaced with cold air. He pulled her back to him with a grumble.
“I’m not going anywhere, silly,” Ragatha laughed. “Is it morning yet?”
“Nah,” Jax shook his head. “But close to it, I think. Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“It’s okay,” she yawned. Wrapping her arms around his torso, Ragatha nuzzled his chest. “Mm,” she hummed, “such a cozy bunny.”
“Betcha didn’t think I’d be this soft,” Jax laughed.
“Nope,” Ragatha rubbed her face in his purple fur. Jax felt her sigh.
“C’mere,” Jax pulled her back down with him. They cuddled under the covers.
“Crazy couple of days, huh?” Ragatha whispered.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“What are we supposed to tell the others?”
“We don’t have to tell them anything,” Jax said, his fingers playing with her curls. “It’s none of their business what we do.” He never realized just how soft her yarn hair was. How much time had he wasted not knowing what he was missing?
“They’re going to ask us, though,” Ragatha said. “They saw us kissing. You slammed the door in their faces. What if Caine—”
“Hey, hey! Dollface, calm down,” Jax chuckled softly. “You’re freaking out over nothing. Who cares?”
“Jax—”
“Look,” Jax moved to face her directly. “In the morning, we can act like we usually do. If they ask questions, we don’t have to answer them, not that I care if they do. But if that’s what you’re worried about, then it can be our secret.”
Ragatha looked concerned. Jax didn’t like seeing her look like that. What was she so worried about?
“Okay,” she finally nodded. “For now, it can be our secret. At least until we figure out how to tell them all.”
“Tell them that we’re…what exactly?” Jax tilted his head, grinning.
Ragatha blushed. “I dunno…that we’re…together?”
“Heh, yeah, you could definitely call it that after last night.”
“Jax!” Ragatha’s face turned several shades of red, but she smiled all the same. She hid her face in her adorable doll hands.
Jax laughed. He loved seeing her flustered. He gently pulled her hands away from her face and pecked her lips.
“Sure Rags,” Jax shrugged. “We can eventually let them know you’re mine.” He stared at Ragatha with lidded eyes. He honestly didn’t give a shit about the others or what they would think. All he cared about right now was his dolly. She was so soft and so sweet. All he wanted to do was stay here with her, keep her hidden away from the others like she was his own secret treasure.
Slowly, he leaned forward. The kiss he’d intended to be soft and sweet was instead hurried and hard, causing Ragatha to squeak in surprise. She fell back against the pillow under his weight. Jax felt her body relax against his, giving in.
When Jax broke away, he collapsed on top of her and moved to nibble on her neck. Ragatha made a soft sound.
“Let’s stop talking about the others now,” he mumbled. He pressed a kiss to the same spot he was just nibbling. “Sound good?”
“Uh-huh,” Ragatha nodded.
“Good,” Jax purred.
Then Ragatha gasped and shouted his name when he bit down hard, right in the spot where her neck met her shoulder. It was music to his ears.
-
Pomni couldn’t sleep. Still fairly new to the circus, she hadn’t quite gotten used to her new room. She supposed her bed was cozy enough, yet everything was still so foreign. It was hard to feel a comfortable familiarity in her surroundings when her memory was still so jumbled. So, she decided to go for a walk instead.
She was slowly finding her way in this new world, even if she had plenty of reservations still lingering in the back of her mind. Searching for an exit was still a priority, though the panic she felt upon her arrival had dimmed to something more manageable. If she was stuck here for the time being, she figured she should at least make the most of it while she looked for a way out.
The hallway was still dark when she peeked outside. Pomni was just about to leave when she heard something from the room across the hall. She shrunk bank, closing her door enough that she wouldn’t be spotted.
She could just make out Ragatha leaving Jax’s room. The ragdoll looked flustered. Her hair was a disheveled mess and her dress wasn’t buttoned in the back. She saw her look both ways in the hallway before hurriedly darting into her own room one door down.
Pomni was frozen. She tried to figure out what she had just witnessed, but it was almost like her brain wouldn’t function correctly.
Yesterday the entire group had caught Ragatha and Jax making out. Now, she just saw Ragatha leaving Jax’s room early in the morning.
What the hell was going on?
-
Ragatha was practically falling asleep at the breakfast table. Chin in hand, she closed her eye for only a moment and could feel herself drifting.
Oh God, she was exhausted.
With her other hand, she rubbed her neck where Jax had bitten. Though it was already fading, it was still tender and she could feel the indentations his teeth had made.
“Oh no,” she whispered. She pulled the collar of her dress up a little higher. It probably wouldn’t do much, but it was worth a shot.
“Ragatha?”
Ragatha looked up. She hadn’t noticed that Pomni, Gangle, and Zooble had approached her. She truly was too tired.
“Oh, hey guys!” she said, far too cheerily.
Zooble had their arms crossed. Gangle was wringing her ribbon hands together nervously. Pomni was staring with those large, pinwheel eyes. All three of them looked like they had a million things to say.
“So,” Zooble began without skipping a beat, “you wanna tell us what the f#@k was going on yesterday?”
Ragatha’s face flushed. She was so bad at disguising her feelings, it was laughable. Jax always teased her about it.
“W-what are you talking about?” Ragatha laughed nervously.
“You know what we’re talking about,” Zooble rolled their eyes. “Don’t play dumb.”
“Ragatha,” Gangle squeaked, “are you…feeling okay?”
“Of course I am,” Ragatha stuttered out another laugh. “Don’t be silly.”
“Okay, let’s just cut to the chase,” Pomni sighed and pinched between her eyes. “You kissed Jax.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Zooble added. “She was making out with him. We all saw.”
“I—I don’t—”
“I saw you leaving his room early this morning,” Pomni added. “What was that about?”
“What?!” Ragatha couldn’t believe she’d been seen. She had tried to be so careful.
“We just wanna know why,” Zooble said. “Did you lose a bet?”
“Are you sick?” Gangle asked.
“Is he blackmailing you?” Pomni added.
“Guys!” Ragatha held her hands up. She was panicking. What could she tell them? The truth? How could she even explain her feelings to them? They would never understand. She knew how they all felt about Jax. “It was nothing,” she lied. “It was a one time thing. Spur of the moment…I was just grateful that he saved me the other day. Y’know…from those NPCs.”
She felt awful lying, like she was doing Jax a huge disservice. This was (hopefully) anything but a one time thing. For some reason, the concern of the others was weighing on her mind.
Why was she always so concerned with what the others thought? Didn’t Jax always tell her to stop worrying so much?
The other three looked at each other. Disbelief was etched on all their faces.
“Okay…” Pomni said.
“Whatever,” Zooble shook their head.
“Right,” Gangle looked worried.
Just as Ragatha was trying to figure out what else to say, she became vaguely aware that someone else was watching her. Glancing up, she noticed Jax had joined them in the dining area.
He took the seat farthest away from her, yet he was staring at her, his yellow eyes unblinking. She met his gaze for a fraction of a second. It was enough that he flashed her a wide grin. She looked away, blushing harder.
Zooble had caught the entire interaction. They shook their head.
“Sure,” they said. “I’m sure it’s absolutely nothing.”
“Everything is fine,” Ragatha said, looking back at her friends and trying to maintain a finality to her voice that would hopefully signify the end of the discussion. “Don’t worry about me.”
-
After breakfast, the day’s adventure had the cast pairing up into three teams of two. The main objective was an obstacle course that each team had to complete. Whichever team made it back first was supposedly going to win a special prize. No one was expecting much, though. Caine’s last surprise had been to throw them a disco-themed party.
The grounds of the circus were transformed for the adventure. Caine had them gather around the entrance to the tent while he chose the teams at random.
“All right my superstars, the first team is going to be…” He winked at Bubble. Bubble tried to imitate a drumroll sound, but it sounded more like a sputtering motor. Caine winced. “…Kinger and Pomni!”
Pomni glanced at Kinger. The chess piece was staring up into the clouds, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. The jester closed her eyes and sighed.
“Our next team will be…Ragatha and Gangle!”
Jax heard that crybaby Gangle sigh with relief, most likely since she wasn’t partnered up with him. He watched as Ragatha smiled kindly and hugged Gangle. His fur bristled with sudden jealousy.
“That leaves—”
“Oh come ON!” Zooble groaned loudly.
“Zooble and Jax!” Caine finished, clapping his hands. “Good luck, teams!”
“Ugh,” Zooble groaned, shaking their head. “Just my $&!tty luck.”
“Hey, I ain’t exactly thrilled either,” Jax crossed his arms.
Heavy silence hung in the air.
“So, I guess we should start then, right?” Ragatha shrugged.
Caine had set up three separate starting points, one for each team. Pomni and Kinger were already gone.
Jax glanced at Gangle. He had an idea.
“Hey Ribbons,” he said, putting on his biggest smile. He put one gloved hand on what he assumed could be her shoulder (hard to tell, honestly). “Switch partners with me.”
Gangle blinked. “W-what?”
“You heard me,” Jax said. “You can be partners with Zooble. I’ll be partners with Rags.”
“B-but—”
“Listen,” Jax got close to Gangle’s face, enough that the girl stumbled back a bit and nearly tripped. “I’m asking you nicely. Don’t make me—”
“What’ll you give her?” Zooble stepped in, forcing themself between Jax and Gangle, staring down at the former.
“Give her?” Jax blinked.
“Yeah, what’s in it for Gangle?” Zooble crossed their arms.
“Nothing,” Jax growled.
“Then no deal.”
“You suck, you know that?”
“Oh, and I wonder why in the world you’d want to switch partners, Jax,” Zooble narrowed their eyes. “Whatever could be the reason?”
Jax was about to argue. He was ready for it. It had been a while since he’d gotten into it with Zooble and he was overdue for a good fight…until he felt a soft hand on his wrist, and he immediately simmered. He turned to see Ragatha behind him, looking concerned.
“What’s the problem?” She looked from Jax, to Zooble, to Gangle cowering behind Zooble’s back.
“There’s no problem Rags,” Jax grinned at her. “We were just talking about how Gangle and I are switching partners, is all.”
“Oh?” Ragatha looked at Jax. Her eyebrow was raised.
“That’s right,” he nodded.
“Ah-ah,” Zooble interjected. “Only after Jax agrees to leave Gangle alone for a month. No messing with her, no touching her mask, no teasing.”
Jax’s face fell. Ragatha looked at him. Zooble was staring smugly. Even Gangle was smiling.
He was caught. No other way out, he supposed. He looked at his dolly and decided it would be worth not messing with Gangle if it meant he could be with her.
“FINE!” Jax exploded. “Whatever! Just switch with me!”
“Sounds good to us!” Even with no mouth, Zooble’s eyes said it all. “C’mon Gangle.”
Gangle smiled, waiving at Ragatha before she followed Zooble, leaving Jax and Ragatha alone.
“Happy now?” Ragatha put her hand on her hip and shook her head.
“Extremely happy, yes,” Jax said. He nodded at the entrance to the obstacle course. “C’mon Rags. Let’s go.”
-
Ragatha walked side by side with Jax. It was strange being with him like this. No teasing, no jokes, no arguing. Just being themselves, calm and quiet. She realized that this was their first moment alone on an adventure together since before…well…
She flushed at the memory of the prior night. It was still so surreal.
The obstacle course proved to be pretty uneventful. So far it had consisted of a couple of rock walls that had to be climbed over (Jax used this as an excuse to boost Ragatha by her behind over the hurdle), some tall grass they needed to navigate through (through which Jax carried her on his back), and a tiny hedge maze…but nothing more difficult. Ragatha wondered how much effort Caine actually put into this one. No NPCs in sight, either.
When they reached the next challenge, which appeared to be an entrance to a dark cave, Ragatha was caught off guard as Jax grabbed her by the hand and pushed her against the inside of the cave wall and out of sight.
“Jax! What—”
He caught her mouth in a frantic kiss, effectively shutting her up. She felt his hands at her waist, gripping roughly. His tongue pushed its way into her mouth. Ragatha sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.
When they finally broke apart, she was panting.
“Is this why you wanted to be my partner?” She laughed, trying to catch her breath.
“You think I wanna kiss Gangle like that?” Jax growled playfully. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, Rags. I needed to get you alone like this.”
His words made Ragatha’s chest swell with happiness. She could feel her heart pounding. How was it possible for her to feel so much all at once?
“Me too,” she admitted. Jax was smiling down at her, smitten. She’d never seen him like this before, so calm, almost tame. She didn’t know where this would go, but she loved this side of him. “Let’s not waste any more time, huh?” Ragatha leaned in now, trailing soft kisses down his neck.
Jax immediately started purring. Ragatha almost laughed, it was so adorable. She kissed back up to his lips, her hands cupping his cheeks.
The two of them were totally lost in each other.
Which explained why when Caine materialized out of nowhere in the darkness of that little cave, Ragatha had never jumped so hard in her life. She screamed, while Jax grabbed her and pushed her behind him, unsure at first of the new threat but poised to attack. He relaxed when he realized it was only the ringleader.
“Oh my,” Caine wagged his finger in front of their faces. “Now now you two, you know we can’t have any of this hanky panky in our circus! Remember, the Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages!”
Ragatha felt her heart pounding as her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. Beside her, Jax laughed.
“Caine, we’re s-sorry,” she stammered, completely embarrassed. “Really, we are.”
“No, we’re not,” Jax said. “C’mon Ragatha, be honest. I’m anything but sorry for what was just happening.”
“I—I mean I’m sorry we were, well—”
“There is a time and place for things like physical affection,” Caine said. “Certainly not here, though!”
Jax and Ragatha looked at each other.
“Fine,” Jax threw his hands up. “We’ll stop, okay? Just leave us alone and let us finish the stupid obstacle course.”
“I think it’s best if you two were separated for this adventure,” Caine added. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into the both of you, but this is two instances now where you’ve been all over each other in front of everyone.”
“Wait!” Ragatha looked at Jax again. “Caine, I’m sorry.”
Caine ignored her. With a snap of his fingers, Jax was gone. Ragatha instantly panicked as dread overcame her.
“Jax?! Caine! What did you do?”
Another snap, and this time Gangle appeared, looking extremely confused.
Caine nodded happily. “Much better. Also originally what I had planned.”
“Is Jax okay?” Ragatha looked up at Caine. “Where is he? W-what did you do to him?”
“Oh, never fear my dear! He’s with Zooble now! I assure you, he’s just fine. Carry on!”
Caine disappeared, leaving Ragatha and Gangle alone. Ragatha felt her nerves slowly calming down. She didn’t know why she’d been so fearful. Of course Caine wouldn’t hurt Jax. Right?
She took deep breaths as her heartbeat slowed. She hadn’t even realized Gangle had rested one of her ribbon arms on her shoulder until the other girl spoke.
“Are you okay Ragatha?” Gangle asked softly.
Ragatha blinked. “Yes,” she finally said. “Thanks, Gangle.”
Gangle smiled. “You really like him, huh?”
Ragatha looked up sharply. “W-what do you mean?”
“Jax,” the mask said softly. “You really care about him. I can tell.”
“I…” Ragatha didn’t know what to say. Gangle was looking at her so sincerely. Quite frankly, Ragatha was feeling too confused and concerned to want to lie anymore. So she decided on the truth. “I do, Gangle. I do care about him, a lot.”
“Why?” Gangle genuinely looked concerned. “He’s awful…all the time.”
How could Ragatha explain her feelings? Gangle would never understand. Ragatha still didn’t even fully understand. She knew where Gangle was coming from. Jax was awful to her. Ragatha hoped maybe she could change that someday, with time.
“Sometimes you just don’t know why things happen the way they do,” she whispered. “Or why feelings form for certain people.”
Gangle nodded, and thankfully didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, the two girls made their way through the rest of the obstacle course.
-
In the end, Pomni and Kinger were the winners. As it turns out, when you’re not sneaking off to make out with your partner or getting switched around because you were caught making out with your partner, it’s actually a lot easier to get things done.
Ragatha and Jax avoided each other at dinner, stealing quick glances when no one was looking so as not to raise any more suspicion. They left the table separately and at different times.
When it was time for bed, Ragatha heard soft knocking on her door as she was getting changed. She knew who it was before she even opened it.
Jax didn’t waste any time. Immediately, he lifted her into his arms and kissed her, kicking the door closed behind him with his foot and locking it.
Ragatha’s legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he carried her to the bed, their lips still locked. She wanted him and craved his touch.
It felt as though they were trying to make up for all the lost time they’d spent not realizing what they could’ve had. The years that had gone by without the touch of the other. Harsh words and cruel tricks and arguments on a daily basis, until it all spilled over. Ragatha didn’t want to go back to the way it was before. She didn’t think Jax did, either.
Especially not with the way he kissed her like she would disappear, the way he held her so delicately yet firmly all at once. The feeling of him pressed against her. The way he gave himself to her entirely, and she to him.
There was no going back now, only forward.
Much later, when she was curled against him, the two of them exhausted, drifting off, and wrapped in the other’s embrace, Ragatha’s eye popped open with sudden realization.
She sat up, gently removing herself from Jax’s possessive hold so she could look at him properly. In the glow of her nightlight she could see his face. His brow wasn’t furrowed, his mouth was slack. His breathing was even and slow. He looked so calm and at ease in her presence. Dare she even say, Jax looked happy.
She loved him.
She loved him so much.
-
And so it went on for weeks. Nights were no longer spent alone. They would take turns sneaking into the other’s room and holding each other until they fell asleep.
There were the occasional nights that were spent without speaking, instead exploring each other while drifting in and out of sleep, only to wake up and do it all over again.
Ragatha knew the others had figured it out by now, but luckily it was rarely brought up. She’d given up trying to explain herself when they’d point out a new bite mark or bruise on her neck and shoulders—or on Jax’s for that matter, which happened quite frequently too. Instead Ragatha would just smile and shrug sheepishly.
Pomni, Gangle, and Zooble had seemed to accept it, and for that, Ragatha was grateful. She knew they didn’t fully understand, but that was fine. It didn’t matter to her anymore, because what she had with Jax was far better than the previous worries in her brain.
Unfortunately, experiencing so much new natural joy also came with the worries that it could all disappear at any given moment. Sometimes, Ragatha would find that her thoughts, which were usually so much more positive since she and Jax had begun their relationship, would go to a much darker place.
They worst part being that those thoughts would manifest at the most random times, and when they did, it was horrible.
“What’s wrong?” Jax stopped pressing kisses to her neck. He must’ve noticed that Ragatha had gone still beneath him, her hands resting on his shoulders. She hadn’t even realized she’d been staring at the ceiling in Jax’s room. He brought a hand to her cheek. “Ragatha,” he said. “Look at me.”
Ragatha felt a tightness in her chest. Suddenly she felt like she was suffocating and she struggled to breathe. She gulped at the air, her grip around him tightening. She met his stare and saw that he was looking at her, genuinely worried.
“Rags?” Jax tried again. “I’m here, focus on me,” he said. His other hand met her other cheek and he turned her face to look at him. “Hey—it’s me—it’s okay. You’re safe.”
“What happens if we abstract?” Ragatha blurted suddenly, between heaving breaths. “What happens, Jax?”
“What?”
“I can’t go down there,” she shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t…” Her deep breaths turned to sobs and she broke down.
Jax sat them up and pulled her against him. Ragatha hid her face in his chest and cried.
“That’s not gonna happen,” Jax whispered. “Rags, listen to me.” He stroked her hair. “I promise you, that’s not gonna happen.”
“How can you promise that?” she hiccuped, “How?”
“Trust me,” he replied. “Okay? I’m not gonna let that happen to you.”
“What about you?” Ragatha went on. “What if y-you…” She took a shuddering breath. "You can't leave me..."
“Stop,” Jax said, “it won’t. Give me more credit than that.” He laughed softly. “Ya think I’m gonna lose my mind after getting to experience what we’ve been through these last few weeks? F%@k no! My mind has never been in a better place.”
Ragatha laughed softly in between hiccups.
They sat like that for a long while, Jax continuing to stroke her hair until she calmed down. Unfortunately, Ragatha would come to learn that that instance wouldn’t be the last time her mind went to those places. Thankfully, Jax was always there for her when that time came, and she was there for him more than a few times too. It turned out he certainly had his own moments.
“It’s okay,” Ragatha whispered soothingly. She stroked Jax’s head, pushing his ears back. Her hand would pet up and down one ear before moving on to the other. Over and over she would repeat this motion while Jax remained motionless, his body a heavy weight on hers while his head rested on her chest. He didn’t speak, he would only lay there while Ragatha soothed him. His ear would occasionally twitch at her voice. “I’m right here with you,” she said. “I’m not leaving you, Jax.”
They had each other. They fell hard, held on, and refused to let go.
-
The two sat by the digital lake late one evening, admiring the stars. It was a particularly beautiful night, one of Caine’s best creations so far.
Ragatha sat in Jax’s lap while he leaned back on his long arms. They hadn’t spoken much, just enjoying each other’s company was enough.
“What are you thinking about?” Ragatha asked him.
Jax laughed. “I’d tell you, but it’s not appropriate.”
Ragatha twisted around to look at him, her cheeks visibly darkening even in the low light of the evening.
“Is your mind ever out of the gutter?” she laughed.
“Nah,” Jax shook his head. “Not since I realized what I’ve been missing, Dollface.”
“You’re impossible,” Ragatha turned around in his lap, straddling him. “You know that?”
He was staring at her in that way that made her heart flutter madly in her chest. He smiled up at her.
“What’re you gonna do about it, then?” Jax asked slyly.
“I can tell you what you’re gonna do,” Ragatha said. She leaned forward to kiss his neck softly, over and over. She learned pretty quickly that Jax’s neck was his weak spot. All she had to do was press a kiss there and he melted instantly. She felt Jax groan. “You’re gonna kiss me now.”
“Say less,” he replied immediately, pulling her to his lips. Together they fell back into the grass.
Ragatha didn’t know what came over her. All she knew was that she needed him in that moment, one where they were alone and free of any responsibilities. She kissed him fiercely and Jax kissed her back, his hands gripping her around her waist before traveling down to squeeze her plush thighs.
Ragatha had just pushed one of Jax’s overall straps down. She could feel his hand sliding up her skirt. Then there was a loud and familiar POP, and none other than Caine materialized above them, Bubble in tow.
“Gadzooks!” he shouted, making Ragatha and Jax pull apart.
Ragatha screamed again. Jax groaned loudly in frustrated annoyance.
“Will you STOP f%@&!$g doing that?!” He glared at Caine as he sat up in the grass. “Jeez!”
“You two,” Caine shook his denture-head, “what am I going to do with you both?”
“Couldn’t you just leave us alone?” Jax said, incredulously. “We’re all by ourselves out here. No one is looking. Well, we were alone at least.”
“You two are too close for comfort,” Caine said. He snapped his fingers and both Ragatha and Jax were pulled ten feet apart by an invisible force.
While Ragatha stared at the digital lake, thinking how much she wanted to toss herself into it, Jax just started laughing hysterically.
“Jax,” Caine said. “This really isn’t a laughing matter.”
Bubble chimed in, “You two have been going at it like rabbits.”
The pun wasn’t lost on Jax. Somehow, that made him laugh harder.
“Jax,” Ragatha whispered, “stop laughing.”
“Why though?” he clutched his stomach. “What’s he gonna do about it?” He pointed up at Caine.
“Jax!”
“No, seriously Rags,” Jax went on. “You think these little talks are going to stop us, Caine? You think that’s what’s gonna happen? We’ll just stay away from each other?”
Ragatha was panicking now. She glanced at Caine, who stared at them in what looked like confusion. She started to wonder if he even technically could understand. He was AI. He really didn’t have emotions like they did, or at least not as advanced, anyway. He couldn’t understand attraction, right? Could he?
“Look,” Caine, said, “I’m really thrilled that the both of you like each other so much,” he said. “It’s wonderful to have close friends! BUT, you cannot keep doing these things in public. It must stop.”
“We understand,” Ragatha sighed. She didn’t have any fight in her.
“What’s in it for us?” Jax said suddenly.
Ragatha looked at him sharply.
“What was that, Jax?” Caine said.
Jax stood up and tried to walk to where Ragatha was still sitting in the grass, but it was like an invisible wall was preventing him from getting anywhere near her. He kicked at it in frustration. All it did was cause a jolt of pain to his foot.
“I said, what will you do for us if we keep ourselves in our rooms when we wanna…spend time together?” Jax grumbled, rubbing his sore foot.
Ragatha couldn’t believe her ears. Was he really trying to make a deal?
Caine looked at Jax thoughtfully. Then he glanced at Bubble floating beside him.
“Well,” Caine tapped his hat with his baton in thought. “I suppose…I could think of something…”
“I know,” Ragatha piped up, her own voice surprising her.
Jax’s head whipped around to stare at her. She met his eyes briefly and her face flushed.
“What is it, my dear?” Caine asked.
“I w-want you t-to let us swear in our rooms. Only in our rooms,” she added. “If you agree to that, then we promise to stay in there when we want to be…alone.”
Jax was staring at her like he couldn’t believe she was real. She could see his gigantic grin, so big it was reaching his eyes. Ragatha winked at him.
Caine looked at Ragatha and Jax. He seemed like he was struggling internally with the decision. Ragatha knew she had him. There was no way he could deny them this one thing if it meant they would behave. Deep down, Caine knew Jax was right. They wouldn’t stop, no matter if he kept trying to keep them apart.
The seconds ticked by. Caine seemed frozen in place. Ragatha was starting to think that maybe she misjudged him after all. Maybe he wasn’t going to give in…
“All right my dear,” Caine said finally. “You have yourself a deal. No more hanky panky in public, and you can swear to your little heart’s content in the confines of your bedrooms.”
“God, I wish he’d stop saying ‘hanky panky,’” Jax muttered. Ragatha shushed him.
“So Caine, that goes for all of us, right?” Ragatha asked him. She didn’t want to push her luck, but she hoped the privilege could extent to the others too.
“Certainly,” Caine nodded. “It’s only fair.”
She and Jax beamed at each other.
“Now run along,” Caine made a swooshing motion with his hands. “Don’t let me catch you two little scamps out here again!” He tried to sound firm, but it was nearly impossible.
Ragatha still couldn’t believe she’d pulled this off.
Caine snapped his fingers. There was a whooshing sound, and Ragatha knew the invisible wall between them must’ve disappeared. She tested it out by moving closer to Jax. She met no resistance.
“Thank you Caine,” Ragatha said. She grasped Jax’s hand and tugged him along with her. They ran as fast as they could. They didn’t speak a word, not until the entrance to the tent was within their sights.
“Rags,” Jax stopped her before they entered, gripping her arms. “That was amazing.” He beamed at her.
“Thanks,” she said shyly. “I figured…y’know, he might be willing to make a deal with us if the request was simple enough.”
“Sneaky, Rags,” Jax took both her hands in his. “Major turn on, too.”
“I learned from the best,” she said, leaning in to kiss him.
That made Jax laugh. He stared at her with that soft expression she had grown accustomed to.
“Do you think Caine will keep his promise?” Ragatha asked.
“Well, doll, there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” Jax scooped her into his arms bridal style, making Ragatha squeak in surprise and clutch around his neck. “Hope the walls are soundproof, too.”
Ragatha laughed and kissed him.
Without another word, Jax ran them to his room to test out their brand new freedom.