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The dark hedgehog groaned, wiping his mouth as the dry heaves ceased and he could sit back. In the lonely dark of his room in Team Dark’s apartment, he could relax, recover from the disease wracking through him. Even just leaning on the wall, he could feel its hold on his lungs, the way it curled and coiled around them and restricted his breathing. Forever at odds with his healing factor that was keeping him alive.
It had progressed way too far. Anyone else would have choked to death already; but he was afforded the benefit and the curse of immortality and while he was suffering, this wouldn't kill him. Although it was tempting to sink into it, to let nature take its course and deliver him to the soil he wasn't made of. A fantasy that stirred in private moments of weakness.
Well. Not private anymore, if the bat kicking his door open had a say in the matter
“I KNEW you were sick!” Rouge claimed, rushing to Shadow's side, even as the dark hog waved her off with one hand while the other shuffled the evidence of his condition out of her reach.
“I’m fine, Rouge, stop-” he tried to order, but the illness cut him off as the urge to vomit rose up again.
“No, you're pale as fuck, and you look like you're about to spill your guts - OMEGA! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH SHADOW”
“I don't-'' he mumbled out, shoving the bat away again. Despite his condition, he was just as strong as ever, so tearing himself away from her was easy, even if getting up proved to be too overwhelming at the moment.
The bats screeching and the robot's concern faded into the background as his pulse hammered in his ears. He just needed them to leave him alone. Just a minute, just a minute longer by himself, and he would be able to finish this last bout and would be fine.
Rouge’s sudden hand on the back of his neck - scruffing him like a child - was his downfall.
He could feel the fear radiating off of the bat as the flowers spilled from his lips, full mature blooms choking him as she let him go. By the time he was finished, he looked like he’d just spindashed into a florist.
Quiet wheezing was the only noise in the room, shadow gulping down air as he flopped onto his back next to his bouquet of guilt. All was quiet.
“Who-”
He swallowed, voice still rough and breathing heavy. “I’m not telling you that.”
“How long?”
“Years.”
The bat shot up from where she’d sat on his bed, “Years! YEARS?!? SHADOW-”
“Save it Rouge. It's not your business. And before you even ask, I'm not going to get rid of it. My healing factor repairs what the flowers damage. It can't kill me.” Shadow hissed, sitting up as Omega peeked in the doorway
“THE TRADITION IS TO BRING FLOWERS TO THE SICK PARTY. I SEE THAT OBLIGATION HAS BEEN FULFILLED. VERY EFFICIENT ROUGE” the robot commented, before walking away to charge when Shadow dismissed him.
Rouge inspected the flowers, looking among the pinks and red and white blooms. “Do they know?”
“... No. and I don't want them to. They wouldn't want me, anyway.”
He swallowed down petals that threatened to spill yet again. Thinking of the source of the hanahaki was a bliss and a torture; the more fondly he called her image to his mind, the worse the flowers got. He’d lingered on the thought of pink quills and green eyes far too long, what it might feel like to have a moment of her undivided attention without his blue rival interrupting them, for her to look at him the way she looked at Sonic.
He knew he didn't deserve that kind of affection, but his daydreams didn't have to be realistic.
The bat tutted at him. “They deserve to know. If you don't tell them that you're dying over the thought of them, then you should at least let them know you're a total masochist.”
“I am not-” he started, cut off by a coughing fit that scattered red rose petals over his chest.
“You are. You're hurting yourself over a fantasy and frankly, it's pathetic.” The bat’s words were intended to have a bite, but all Shadow could do was chuckle.
“You can't throw my words back at me. I told you that when you wouldn't ask Knuckles out, and you started coughing up grape leaves, but it doesn't apply here.”
“It was good advice”
“For you two. They're in love with someone else. And they would bend over backwards to spare me the pain but doing so would rob them of something they've wanted for years. They have never, not once, put themselves first. So I'm not even giving them the choice. My feelings are not their problem. And I love her far too much to impede her happiness with something as selfish as my own feelings.”
Saying the words summoned another bout of retching into the trash can, thorns scraping the inside of his cheeks.
“Shadow…” Rouge said, rubbing his back gently. For a moment, he flashed back to being ill after being pushed too far during his days on the ark, and Maria doing much the same thing. If nothing else, it brought him comfort.
“Please, Rouge. Please just… just let me do this alone. I’ll finish throwing up, and then I'll be good for a while.”
The bat hesitated, but reluctantly got up and left him. Not for long, he lamented, but she draped a blanket around his shoulders, handed him a bottle of water and started to sweep up the petals. That was a compromise then. He could live with that.
He would apologize to Rouge for busting through the front door while her and Knuckles had date night later, slamming the door to his room just in time for the flowers to make themselves known, accompanied by blood from the stems and thorns scratching his throat.
The impending six hours of intermittent botanical vomiting was worth it for the smile Amy had tossed his way. He’d managed a lot longer than he thought he would, spending the day with her as he had been. But one grateful hug and a smile, and he had to go lest he spit his secret at her feet.
“Hey man are you-” Knuckles asked, pushing open the cracked door, gasping in shock just as his partner had.
“Knock first jacka-” Shadow started, cut off by even more aggressive blooms, stems and roots attached. This time they hurt more, ending with him doubled over in pain and clutching at his chest as he rasped.
That was the first time he’d passed out from it. When he’d come to, he'd gotten an earful from the couple. Rouge had gotten so heated she’d taken off to do a lap of the city, leaving the boys alone.
“You need to tell her. At least if she turns you down, you can get it removed.” the echidna insisted.
“No. I’m not getting rid of it, or telling her.”
Knuckles huffed, “You're a fool.”
“So are you. You might not be coughing up flowers, but you're just as idiotically in love as I am. I can take the pain.”
“Is she worth it?”
“She is. She’s worth every petal.”