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There are a couple of things in life I’m not very good at. Just a few. I mean, I’m not trying to brag or anything but I am good at most things. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here, though. My point is that one of the things I’m really not good at is sitting back and letting things take their own course.
Yeah, I know I agreed to do just that with Finn and Rey. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Got Finn to calm the hell down and come back anyway. I wouldn't have enjoyed chasing him across the universe for months if he decided to really bolt (though I would have chased him if I had to).
I agreed to be calm, to hang back, to see where things went. I even meant it, at the time.
But damnit, I’m really not good at waiting.
The thing was, I knew damn well what I wanted. I wanted everything. I’ve always been a little greedy like that.
I wanted Rey. Who wouldn’t? She was skilled and smart and quick and talking to her was a little thrill in itself. She was one of the most important people in the rebellion, by this point. The student of Luke Skywalker. The only person in the universe being trained as a Jedi. And she just...anyone who was around her for more than a few minutes knew she was special. Life should have crushed her. Nobody would have blamed her for giving up with all the shit that got thrown at her. But she wasn’t crushed. Didn’t even seem to have acknowledged it as a possibility.
She was fucking brilliant.
And then there was Finn. A guy so good that he ran away from being a Storm trooper. That he did that when the very idea of disobeying the first order scared him almost senseless. A guy who’d been raised to kill things and to obey and instead who followed his heart and his conscience.
Of course I wanted them both. Greedy, remember.
So I knew what I wanted, the problem was that I don’t think they knew what they wanted.
And hey, I get that. It wasn’t the done thing, the thing I wanted. I knew that. But I’d never been the kind of let what was expected limit what I did. And it wasn’t like I didn’t know a little bit about polyamory. I knew there were civilizations out there where it was the norm. I knew a little about open relationship and closed relationships and the fact that three people together didn’t just have to mean a kinky time in bed but could be so much more.
Basically, I knew just enough to be dangerous to myself, but had no idea about how to actually go about making it a reality.
I didn't think it couldt be so hard, though. It wasn’t like I hadn’t dated before. I knew what went into starting a relationship. Sure, this one was going to be a little more complicated than others I’d been in, but it was going to be so worth it if I could get it right. Could maneuver them both around to wanting the same thing I did.
So I took them on a date.
I didn’t go entirely mad. I mean, I didn’t tell them it was a date we were going on. That would have sent both of them into a panic. It’s not like we were the kind of friends who sat and had heart to hearts about our feelings but I kind of got the impression that neither of them had been on many dates.
They both deserved to be dated. So I took them out. Date options are kind of limited when you’re living on a rebel base in the middle of nowhere but I worked around that. I’m a resourceful guy.
I took them rock climbing.
I know, not the most romantic date, but it was the first time the three of us had been alone together since we brought Finn back to the base and it was innocuous enough that neither of them questioned it. Sure, it was awkward at first. Neither of them seemed to know what to do with the three of us together now we'd agreed to see. Not that we’d had a lot of time with the three of us in the past. I kind of just ignored it and pushed through. I’m good at doing that. Kept up a stream of pointless chatter about nothing until we got where we were going then set about teaching them how to climb.
Rey as it turned out, knew full well how to climb. Finn had covered it in his training but never with any seriousness. It wasn’t long until Rey and I were racing each other up the cliff, grinning and fighting to beat each other.
It was only sitting at the top, looking down at Finn still struggling below us, that I realized I’d somehow missed the point.
“We need go down for him,” I said, leaning over. “We were meant to do this together.”
“Yes, of course,” Rey said, reaching over to grip my arm, and for a second I wondered if she didn’t feel the same way I did.
Then we were back over the cliff, abseiling down to Finn.
He looked surprised to see us, which told me just how badly we’d nearly fucked this up, but that quickly melted into pleasure as he settled in to help him climb. I should say, helping him climb maybe involved a bit more physical contact than was strictly necessary. Don’t judge.
We talked a little as we climbed. Directions, at first. Encouragements. But as Finn got the hang of it, we started to joke too. To chat. To finally relax a little.
By the time we made it to the top again, we were all laughing. We had to practically drag Rey over the top of the cliff, she was too busy giggling to do it herself. We all ended up laid out together in the grass laughing like a bunch of teenagers.
It was pretty good, for a first date.
Walking back, later, Finn was the one to suggest we should all do something together again the next week. I hadn’t expected it of him and I could barely keep my excitement down to normal levels as I agreed.
Sometimes, not being able to wait works out for me.