Chapter Text
The first thing you noticed about your boyfriend when he opened the door to his apartment was how nervous he seemed to be.
Of course, you weren't surprised. You and Leo hadn't been dating all that long, only about a month to be exact, and he had been a bundle of nerves for the entirety of that time period. This was his first relationship after all, and you knew he just wanted to make sure he was doing everything right, even though he had no clue what he was meant to do. He had been so nervous about going too fast or making you uncomfortable, he hadn't even built up the nerve to hold your hand until the third date you two went on. It was simply too much for him to handle at once, and more often than not, you were the one who had to initiate any form of intimacy, no matter how small or insignificant.
You couldn't deny how cute his nervousness was, how cute he was, but at the same time, you were frustrated. You appreciated how considerate he was trying to be towards you and your comfort, you really did, but it was too slow. You needed more. You needed to grab his hand and hold on tight, you needed to cuddle up close to him, you needed to feel the warmth of his body against yours, you needed the warmth of his lips against yours. You needed him, but despite the hints you had been dropping, Leo had remained physically distant, trying to be respectful of your potential boundaries, while being completely oblivious to your actual needs. It was driving you crazy, you had to do something about it.
So, you hatched a plan. Leo was nothing if not generous, so when you casually, almost flippantly mentioned you'd like to do a movie night together, he was quick to offer up his apartment for the date, as you expected him to. It wasn't meant to be a fancy date, you specifically told him not to bother dressing up for it, it was just meant to be a relaxing, chill night together. You two decided to order pizza, Leo refusing to let you pay for it, as per usual, and the date was set, both of you marking it on your calendars.
It was the perfect opportunity to strike. Leo would be the most comfortable he'd ever been during one of your dates (at least, you hoped he would be), in the safety of his own home, in comfortable clothes, relaxing as much as possible. You'd even let him pick the movie, if it would help him chill out.
And luckily, if all went well, you'd finally be able to do what you had been craving for so long, before the two of you even started dating. You were going to kiss him.
Now you were here, at his doorstep, the day of your movie night finally upon you, and you were practically about to jump your boyfriend's bones already. He looked so adorable standing there, in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, his messy brown hair falling over his glasses, hiding parts of his green eyes from your view. Despite that, you could see the nervousness in his face, his eyes gazing at you longingly for a moment before shyly flicking away, looking anywhere but where you were. His hands were wringing together, his entire form looking tense and shaky as he waited for you to enter his apartment.
"...Hey. You look..." His eyes traced your form, his fingers pinching at his skin as he fought to find the words to speak next. "Nice. You look really nice."
"Hey." You greeted back, shifting from foot to foot. You weren't dressed in anything special, you had just thrown on the most comfortable clothes you could find, but even then, he still found you attractive. Lord, you wanted to kiss him. You had to fight to keep your gaze away from his lips, it was too early in the night to scare him off. Not yet, you couldn't give in yet. "Are you going to let me in?"
Leo's eyes widened slightly, as if he had just realized he was still standing there, blocking the doorway. "Oh, yeah! Sorry, please, come on in!"
He moved off to the side, allowing you enough room to finally step into the apartment in front of you. It was a nice place, with a whole living room area set up directly in front of you, the kitchen nestled behind it. There was an awkwardly placed table in an empty space next to the kitchen and behind the living room, big enough to sit at least four or so people, a couple of plates and two big pizza boxes stacked on top of one another. There was also a big bottle of coke, as well as a couple bottles of water, all lined up neatly in a row beside the pizza boxes. The whole place looked well-kept, and you noted with a hint of amusement that the living room area smelled heavily of apple cider. Leo must have sprayed the whole place down before you arrived, maybe a little too much. Still, you appreciated the thought.
You heard the door creak shut behind you, the lock clicking into place with a light thunking noise. "My roommate isn't here right now, she's on a date with her girlfriend, so we won't have to worry about disturbing her." Leo's voice rang out behind you, his voice surprisingly steady for how shaky he had seemed a moment ago. You turned around to look at him, debating whether to say something or not, but he kept going, his hands still fiddling nervously with each other. "I got the pizza before you got here so that we wouldn't have to wait, but we don't have to eat right now if you don't want to. We can also eat wherever we want, it doesn't have to be on that table, I just put the food there because I was a little worried Mikey would get into it. I got some soda, but I also have water if you don't want any of that, I think we also have some juice in the fridge-"
"Hey, slow down, no need to be so nervous!" You cut through your boyfriend's nervous rambling, shooting him a reassuring smile. You moved toward him, quickly grabbing his hands in yours before he had a chance to put them in his pockets, or hide them behind his back. "I love how thoughtful you are, so don't worry. It means a lot that you were even willing to pay for the food. You're so sweet, you know that?"
Leo's face was getting really red, the tips of his ears especially so, but he seemed to be trying his best to stay calm, his fingers gently tightening around yours. This was a good start. You were warming him up. Hopefully, this would help him get a little more comfortable with your touch. "I...thanks. I just wanted to make sure everything went as smoothly as possible."
"And it will." You reassure, beaming at him happily. "This is supposed to be a relaxing, low-key night, remember? Everything will be fine." You grip his hands tighter, releasing one hand so that you can stand next to him, rather than in front of him. "Now c'mon, why don't you show me around this place? It would be nice to know where everything is."
Leo's face was still beat-red, but he nodded, walking slowly forward, you in tow. He awkwardly led you through the living room and the kitchen, place you had already become familiar with at just a glance, showing you everything you might need to know for future visits. He led you down the hallway of his apartment, pointing out where Natalia's bedroom and bathroom were (obviously you two didn't go in to her bedroom; that would have been a massive invasion of privacy), before leading you to his own room, his free had slightly trembling as he twisted to knob and let you inside.
His room was about what you expected it to be, but it was still really cool to see where he spent most of his free time, where he felt most comfortable. He had a crap ton of movie posters hung around the walls, a couple of other, unrelated posters dotted in between them where there was space. He had some knick-knacks strewn about on his shelves, which were kind of messy, in a charming way. His bed was an amalgamation of colorful, fluffy blankets, all laid neatly on top of each other, a black comforter buried at the very bottom. He had a couple of smaller, silkier blankets on the very top, probably baby blankets if you had to guess, and you smiled at the sight, resisting the urge to grab Leo's face and smash your lips onto his right then and there. Lord, he was such a nerd. You loved him.
The most prominent thing of all though, were the bears. There were a ton of bear plushies, all looking to be from the same brand, some hanging from hooks on the ceiling. Others, bigger ones without loops on their heads, sat neatly on Leo's bed, staring out into the wider room as they patiently waited for bedtime. He even had a little figurine of them, one that sat amongst the other random objects on the top of his bookshelf.
Your hand slowly released Leo's as you walked further into the room, going towards his bed. You picked up one of the bears sitting there, a blue one, a set of furry, pajama-like clothes sewn into it's body. It's massive white eyes stared back at you, its claws laying on its legs, right next to a little bow placed directly on its chest. It was really cute, you could see why Leo had so many of them. "Wow, you have a ton of these little bear dudes. You like them a lot, huh?"
Leo shuffled behind you, walking towards the bed, until he was right next to you. He picked up another bear, one that looked exactly the same as the blue one you were holding, except its fur and clothes were black, not blue. "I...yeah. I collect em. I think they're really cute. They can be expensive, but I add on to the collection when I have money to spare."
You placed the blue bear down, looking up at the ceiling, where more hung. "They are cute. When did you start collecting?"
"When I was a teen." He replied, following your line of sight, staring up at the bears with you. "I also have a couple of stickers, and some clothes of them. Actually, the sweatpants I'm wearing are from the same brand. There's a little picture of one of them on one of the legs."
Oh?" You turned to look at his pants, letting out a small laugh when you saw were he was pointing. There was indeed a picture of one of the bears on his black sweatpants, its colorful appearance hard to miss on the dark fabric. How had you missed that? "...You're so cute, you know that?"
Leo's face erupted into red once again, his throat bobbing nervously as he swallowed, his eyes immediately looking away from you. "I uh, I didn't know that. Thank you..."
Resisting the urge to snort at his embarrassment, you take the lead, heading out of his room and back into the wider apartment, where the food was at. "Wanna eat?"
"Sure, feel free to sit wherever." He followed behind you, his hands stuffed firmly in his sweatshirt pocket. You could see the outline of his hands, still fiddling intensely with each other, even when hidden from view. You wondered how long it would take for him to kick that habit. "You have a movie you wanna watch in mind?"
"Yeah, I do!" You picked up one of the nearest plates, opening up the pizza box on the top of the stack. To your delight, it was your favorite type of pizza, probably on top so you could serve yourself first. He must have remembered you mentioning it offhandedly, although you yourself couldn't remember the exact moment you had told him. "Can we watch Saw? I've wanted to watch it for a while."
You're no exactly lying, you have wanted to watch it for a while, although your reasoning was more related to Leo than you would let on. He loved that franchise, he talked about it constantly, he even had a shirt he would wear often (and as it turns out, a poster of it hanging in his room). You loved listening to him ramble about it, it was one of the few times his nervousness melted away and he let his true excitement show, but you kind of wished you were able to join in on the conversation, or that you had a deeper understanding of what he was talking about. You were hoping to change that a bit tonight, despite how many of the movies there were.
"Really!?" He asked, excitement entering his gaze. His hands stilled inside his pockets, his nervousness temporarily forgotten at the prospect of watching and sharing a movie he loved with someone he loved. If this didn't help relax him a little more, you weren't sure what would. "I mean, sure, as long as your ok with the violence. You won't mind the gore, will you?"
You shook your head. "Nah, it'll be fine. And besides, if it gets to be too much, I'll just shut my eyes." Or bury your face in his chest, but you weren't going to leak your plans just yet. "Can we eat on the couch?"
Leo watched intently as you poured yourself a cup of the coke before placing a couple pieces of pizza on your plate, the excitement never leaving his green eyes. "Of course! It's more convenient anyway, the tv's more visible from there." He grabbed his own plate, reaching for the pepperoni pizza underneath your pizza box and grabbing a couple slices for himself. "The first movie's not that bad in terms of gore, not compared to the later movies at least, but there's still some gross scenes that I know get to people, so I wanted to make sure you'll be fine with it. It's a good movie though, minus some bad acting, which I actually think makes it better. The only downside is that John Kra- I mean, the main villain isn't in it much, but he gets introduced in two, so if you like the first one and you want to watch two, you'll get to see more of him-"
A small smile made its way onto your face as you listened to your boyfriend prattle on, clearly enthusiastic about your selection. You were glad he was so happy, it would help to put him at ease, and besides, you loved when he rambled. You loved his voice, and the way he described things. You would be happy to hear him talk all throughout the movie, if it meant you could listen to his voice. You couldn't wait until the movie started.
The two of you finished up making your plates, carrying your food and drinks to the table in front of the couch before sitting down, dragging the table close enough to reach while you ate. Leo grabbed his remote, flicking on the tv before scrolling through his streaming services, looking through them until he found the first Saw movie. He pressed play, and without anymore delay, the movie began, the captions popping up as soon as audio began to play. You both settled down, your eyes trained on the tv as you began to eat.
There was just one problem: You two were sitting on the opposite sides of the couch. That wasn't too much of an issue while you were actively eating, sure, but what about after? What about when you were both done with your food, when there was nothing to do besides watching the movie, when you were ready and open for his touch? Something needed to change, and that would start with scooting closer to Leo as stealthily as possible, until he caught on that you wanted to be near him.
You started slow, shifting over to your left ever so slightly, moving a centimeter at a time. He didn't seem to catch on, his eyes mostly on the tv screen, but whenever he did look at you, you made sure to halt your movements, leaving him oblivious to your intentions. It took you a solid ten or so minutes to get close enough for him to understand what you were doing, the slight brush of your hand against his enough to tip him off that you were right there. You were sure he had figured out a long time ago, he had been looking a bit tense for several minutes now, but he hadn't said or done anything until this moment, probably too afraid to scare you away, if you had to guess.
It was a good thing you weren't easily scared, least of all by him.
Slowly, as if trying to placate a frightened animal, you shifted your hand, moving it further and further onto Leo's own, until your fingers were intertwined tightly with his. He didn't move away, in fact curling his fingers tightly between your own, and you took that as a sign to continue moving closer, until your side was pressed directly against his. It was nice, to be so close to him, but you needed more. You needed way more.
"Can we..."
He looked to you, a nervous sort of desperation shining in his eyes. "I...yeah. Please."
Without missing a beat, you leaned over, removing your hand from his in favor of wrapping your arms around his waist. He copied your motions, his arms circling around your torso while his head moved to the crook of your neck. He skin was a little cold, but you could fix that.
Neither of you really knew where to go from there, so you just stayed in an awkward hugging position for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do next. Eventually, after seconds of uncomfortable stillness, Leo began slowly leaning backwards onto the couch, and you let him, accepting the small fall he was pulling you into as you landed softly on his chest. You fully believed he would remain there, laying down face up with you on top of him, but to your surprise, he rolled himself over, pushing you until your back was against the rear of the couch, and his back was to the tv, both of you laying directly on your sides. His arms were still around you, the movie playing on as he held you awkwardly in his tense arms.
You snuggled closer, placing your head in Leo's chest, his warm sweatshirt rubbing up against your cheek. You could still see the movie from over his shoulder, but he wasn't able to, not when his face was pointed towards the head of the couch. You frowned. "Hey, do you wanna flip sides? You can't see the movie from there, can you?"
You expected Leo to agree, to release you enough to flip the two over you over so he could watch the movie he loved so much, but to your immense surprise, he shook his head, his arms curling tighter around your waist, his head moving forward, until it was in the crook of your neck again. You could feel his breath on your skin, the tickle of his hair on your cheek, the slight pressure of his chin digging into your shoulder. It was the feeling you had craved ever since you had started dating, maybe even before then, if you were being honest. "It's ok, I can hear it well enough to know what's going on. You've never seen it, so you should face the tv. Can..." He paused, gripping you tighter, hiding his embarrassed face within the space between you and your neck. "...Can we stay like this? I like this a lot. I like being so close to you..."
"Of course we can!" Your boyfriend couldn't see the grin spreading across your face, but you were sure he could hear it in your voice as your grip got tighter. "I've waited so long to hold you like this, I'm not gonna let you go anytime soon."
Leo buries his head further into your neck at that, snuggling as close as physically possible. You can feel his hands kneading the back of your clothes, kind of like a cat, his thumbs rubbing up against the soft surfaces as his fingers curled around other parts of your top. You could feel his feet shifting back and forth below you, getting him comfortable and somewhat aiding in him pushing himself farther into you, his legs beginning to entangle with your own. It was like he was trying to bury himself within you, to become one with your body, and you realized with a hint of joy that maybe, just maybe, beneath all the nervousness and hesitance, he was just as desperate for your touch as you were for his.
The two of you spend a solid half of the movie curled up against each other, simply taking in each other's presence while the movie droned on in the background. It was really, really nice, to be so close to him. You could feel him trembling a little, at least in the beginning, but eventually he became more lax, going limp in your arms, his hold tight around your body. He was clearly warming up to your touch, something you were proud to have achieved in such a short time.
There was only one step left in your little plan now: Kiss him.
Steeling your nerves, you pull back a little, enough for your face to go from the crook of Leo's shoulder to right in front of him. He resisted at first, trying to keep his face where it was, but he let you go after a moment, his arms still tucked securely around you, but loose enough for you to back up a little, until you were face to face with him, your noses practically touching. You were both looking at each other now, your heads and shoulders leaning upward with the support of the pillow beneath you. Hesitantly, as if afraid of scaring him away, you removed one arm from around his side, dragging it over the curve of his body before pulling it over his shoulder, the palm of your hand landing softly on his upturned cheek.
He swallowed, his face slowly turning red again. He knew what you were up to. This was it, you couldn't back out now.
You didn't say anything. You just leaned forward, until your lips were hovering right above his. He didn't pull away.
Softly, as gently as you could, you pressed your lips onto his, a small smile forming against his mouth when you heard him make a light groaning noise at the contact. His lips didn't move much, you didn't think he knew what to do, but you could feel one of his hands removing itself from your back and landing on your cheek, mimicking the movements you had made only a few seconds ago. He pressed himself further to you, his nose bumping against yours as the kiss became a little firmer, a little more intimate. You were doing most of the work in terms of the actual kissing, Leo mostly following your lead and copying your movements when he could, but that was ok. You knew this was his first kiss, so he probably had absolutely no clue what he was doing. That was fine, you could teach him, and hopefully, he'd get better at kissing you over time.
You pulled away after another moment or two, your eyes slowly opening as you pulled back, face to face with Leo once again. He was doing the same as you, his lips slightly parted as his eyes opened back up, a desperate sort of disappointment on his face as you pulled away from him. His hand stayed on your cheek, his thumbnail dragging softly over your skin. His lips had chased yours briefly, trying to keep up with you as you pulled away, but now he was leaning backwards himself, looking you nervously in the eyes before his gaze would shoot away, focusing on anything but you. He swallowed again.
You frowned. "...Are you ok? I'm sorry, maybe I should have asked-"
"-Can we do that again?"
You blinked. Leo was looking at you now, trembling with nerves, but he was forcing his gaze to remain steady, looking you dead in the eye as he asked. He didn't pull away when you leaned forward, in fact, he leaned in to meet you, his eyes instinctually shutting again when your lips met his, the force behind it a little more rough than before. You weren't as gentle this time around, your tongue going to swipe at his bottom lip as you got lost in the kiss, his chapped lips feeling heavenly against yours. This is what you had been waiting for for so long, and fuck, was it worth every second. His skin against yours, his hand caressing your cheek, the tremble of his lips as he tried to keep up with you, it was all so, so worth it to you.
You could have stayed like that forever. So could Leo, you assumed, because he refused to pull away, attaching himself to you as long as you would let him. The only reason you pulled away for a second time was because you were running out of air, and as much as you loved kissing your boyfriend, you didn’t really feel like blacking out directly on top of him.
Even after you pulled away, the two of you remained as close as physically possible, panting against each other's lips as you tried to catch your breaths. His eyes were half-lidded, a clouded over look in his irises as he stared at you, then your lips, then you again. However, before you could say anything, he abruptly pressed his face into your chest, nuzzling the soft fabric of your shirt with his nose, his eyes shutting in pure bliss. He removed the hand on your cheek, wrapping it back around your body, his hand going to grasp at the clothing covering your back.
You smiled down at him, taking the hand on his cheek and placing it in his hair. He looked so handsome when he was like this, cuddled up to you, his glasses askew and his lips swollen from where you had kissed him. You couldn’t wait to do this again.
“...I’m sorry if I was bad at it.” Leo mumbled against your shirt, his voice cutting through the audio of the movie you had forgotten was playing. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, not until that, at least.”
“Don’t worry about it.” You reassure, whispering softly. It felt appropriate to be quieter after such an intimate moment. You just wanted to savor the moment with him, to relax and reflect on the many milestones you two had hit that night. “It was really nice. I’m so glad I finally got to kiss you. You know how long I’ve been waiting to do that?”
You couldn’t see Leo’s face, but somehow, you felt the small shift of his face through the fabric of your top, as if he was smiling into your chest. “I uh…No, I didn’t. But I’m glad you did. I’ve wanted to do that for ages now, but I was too scared to initiate. So thank you.”
“No problem.” You hesitated, but you resolved yourself, leaning down enough to kiss Leo on the top of his head. Why not? You had already kissed Leo directly on the lips, what was his head in comparison to his mouth? “I…I’m really glad I’m with you.”
If you were being honest, you wanted to tell him you loved him. It had only been a month, but you couldn’t deny that your feelings for him ran much deeper than just a crush. Still, you had already done enough in terms of pushing the relationship forward that night, and you were hesitant to push your luck. You didn’t want to scare Leo by pronouncing your love just yet, not this early on in the relationship. You’d save that for later. For now, you were content to stay like this, holding him in your arms while he relaxed.
“So am I.” Leo whispered, shuffling closer to your body. “Thank you for going out with me. I hope we can do this again sometime.”
Neither of you spoke anymore. The movie continued on in the background, nearly over by now, but the two of you weren’t paying it any mind. You were too wrapped up in each other, in the intimacy of the moment, in the joy of holding on to each other so tightly, like the other would disappear if you or him were to let go. This was a good end to a good night, and maybe, with any luck, this could become a regular thing, something that became much more normal to do in the coming weeks.
You couldn’t wait to kiss him again.