Work Text:
“Patrick, honey! You can't just… you're doing it all wrong!”
“What do you mean?”
“Well you can't just eat nachos like that.”
“Okay…?”
“Seriously, Patrick. You're not even paying attention to what you're doing. You need to get the correct ratio of tortilla, salsa and sour cream for the optimum crunch and taste. Don't just stick the chip in willy-nilly.”
“Willy-nilly? David, can I please just eat my chips in peace?”
“Yes, of course you can. I'm just trying to help you enjoy them.”
“I'm enjoying them just fine.”
“You'd enjoy them so much more if you ate them properly.”