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They say that Lord Voldemort cursed the DADA post when Dumbledore refused to hire him.
They say that's the reason no DADA teacher lasts more than a year.
They're wrong.
*
The turban always stays on during sex.
It doesn't bother Severus. He won't judge Quirrell for his strange habits, nor for his stutter or his shyness. The man is a good fuck, which makes up for the rest. Severus holds him down as he ploughs into that pale, tight arse.
Quirrell is eager. He comes to Severus at night and begs to be used. Severus obliges.
It started that one night in October when Severus caught him lurking around.
"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirinus..."
He meant to threaten, and was surprised to realize the other man was trembling not out of fear, but desire.
"Severus," Quirrell gasps, trembling as Severus has him pinned against a tree.
"Shut up," Severus snaps.
His hips are pumping furiously, Quirrell's tight channel all but strangling his cock. Their encounters are short and explosive. Neither of them lasts long—Severus is too pent-up, Quirrell too needy. Quirrell whines when he comes. Severus finds his pleasure two thrusts later and buries his spurting cock in his partner.
When the school year ends and it's revealed Quirrell hosted Voldemort at the back of his head, Severus merely feels smug.
He fucked the Dark Lord and lived to tell the tale.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°1:
Subject died after coming into contact with love magic.
Notable trait: subject had the Dark Lord inside him.
*
Lockhart won't stop talking.
"Oh yes, Severus, yes, harder!" he babbles as Severus pounds into him.
It's aggravating, but it stokes Severus' ego, especially when Lockhart compliments his cock and his stamina.
"I've never been with anyone bigger," the man says between wanton moans. "Oooh, right there, yes, yes—mm, that angle—you fuck like a god—"
Lockhart is handsome, he's famous, he has many admirers, and yet he's sleeping with Severus. He came after Severus in the first place, with terrible innuendos about the size of Severus' nose. How could Severus resist?
Lockhart is terrible at blowjobs and needs heavy coaching, but at least when he's sucking Severus' cock he's silent. Once, Severus pulls out to finish on his face, and he relishes in the sight of those blonde locks stained with his cum.
Of course, Severus never imagined this would last, and he's not surprised when by the end of the year Lockhart lands himself in St Mungo's.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°2:
Subject suffered from improper Obliviation spell; now in hospital.
Notable trait: subject was famous.
*
Lupin is terrible, both for Severus' patience and for his arse.
His thick cock leaves Severus aching, and the day just before the full moon, he's actually capable of knotting him. Which he does, not the first time Severus asks for it, but the second.
"You'll regret it," he growls, but for all his initial reticence, his eyes flash with hunger, and he pounces on Severus.
He bends Severus over his desk and doesn't bother with lube. He spits on his cock and shoves it in. Severus grunts.
"Is that all?" he taunts.
That wakes the beast in Lupin. The next few minutes are a chaotic mess of brutal thrusts, wet slaps of flesh, teeth at his throat and the fiercest pleasure he has ever experienced. Lupin lets out a snarl when his knot pushes past Severus' rim. It swells, locking them together, and they come at the same time, Lupin shooting a heavy load inside Severus while Severus splatters the desk with his cum, shuddering through his orgasm.
"You got what you wanted," Lupin says at his back.
It takes thirty minutes before his knot deflates enough for them to separate. Severus comes twice more before that happens.
They fuck again and again, all over the school. Severus knows Lupin is up to something but he has no proof. All he gets is Lupin's thick cock in his arse.
It's thrilling. He hates as much as he loves it.
As usual, it falls apart in June. Black escapes, Severus knows what happened but can't prove any of it, and Potter gets praised for nothing, that little brat.
Severus casually mentions Lupin's furriness at breakfast, and the man is gone the next day.
Good riddance.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°3:
Subject was outed as a werewolf and could no longer be employed at the school.
Notable trait: subject had past in common with Snape.
*
Mad-Eye Moody has the thickest cock Severus has ever seen.
It's as gnarly as the man itself, leaning to the side when erect, with a fat, knobby head. Severus flat out refuses to take it up the arse, and Moody won't let Severus fuck him.
They settle on mutual masturbation—or rather masturbation while looking at each other.
"Can't trust your hand on my cock, Snape," Moody says.
He watches Severus stroke himself while his own hand is wrapped around his girthy cock. Severus finds a strange pleasure in these encounters. They don't happen often, and there's an edge to them that makes him feel alive.
When Moody suggests he could finish over Severus' Dark Mark, Severus refuses. Then he thinks about it, starts imagining it, and finally decides that yes, he'll allow it. He bares his left arm and watches as Moody spurts copious amounts of cum over the darkening tattoo.
It's perverse, letting someone come on his Dark Mark.
It lights up the rawest pleasure in his belly, and two strokes later he's coming as well, groaning low.
"You don't deserve that Mark," Moody says one evening as their respective cocks are softening in their hands.
"Don't I?" Severus says, showing his teeth.
"You're a failed Death Eater."
The hatred in his voice makes all the more sense later, once his true identity is revealed. Severus never liked Barty—that twitchy little fuck. He presses his wand into the man's cheek, glowering down at him. Barty grins at him.
"The Dark Lord is back," he breathes, tongue flicking out. "He'll reward me beyond all measures, and you, Severus... you'll be punished."
The only reward awaiting Barty is a Dementor's Kiss.
Summer is hell for Severus, but he endures.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°4:
Subject was Kissed by a Dementor.
Notable trait: subject was marked by the Dark Lord.
*
Umbridge gets on his nerves from the moment he glimpses her.
It's the pink. It's her cloying perfume, it's her simpering little laugh, it's her fake sweetness. It all grates at him like constant, pinpricking claws.
Yet when she pursues him, he doesn't turn her down. He channels his anger into sex. He bends her over her desk and spanks her until her arse is red and inflamed. He makes her squeak and beg until she's rendered incoherent and can only babble his name. He fucks her in brutal shoves of his hips, grunting with effort. Her stupidly pink office echoes with slaps of skin and wet squelches as he pounds into her.
He never comes inside her.
"You don't deserve my cum," he tells her.
"Severus—please—oh, please—"
He lets her beg until she's red in the face, and then he pulls out and spills across her arse. Sometimes he turns her around and finishes on her breasts.
"You're a disappointing, frustrating man!" she rages at him.
She comes back for his cock anyway.
He gets rougher and rougher with her over the course of the year. He breaks some of the ornamental plates on her desk, shoving too hard inside her, rattling the entire desk and sending the horrid things to the floor. She's cross at him for a month after that, and the sex is even better.
He carefully removes those memories from his head whenever he must teach Potter Occlumency. It really wouldn't do to let the boy see that.
At the end of the year, Umbridge is chased from the school and runs afoul of the centaur horde.
Severus didn't expect anything else.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°5:
Subject was frightened away.
Notable trait: subject liked cats.
*
The next year, he's the Defense Professor.
There's no one to fuck but himself, and it's not really satisfying. This year is the worse one yet. There's the Vow, there's Draco refusing to accept his help, there's Dumbledore keeping secrets and only telling Snape the bare minimum, and there's Potter, skulking around and casting dark spells he shouldn't know.
Severus is exhausted nearly all the time. He barely has the energy to wank in the evenings.
When Junes arrives and the end of the year is in sight, he's glad for it.
Killing Dumbledore is a relief.
It was always going to end like that, in a flash of green light and the loss of a friend.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°6:
Subject killed Headmaster in an act of mercy.
Notable trait: subject isn't satisfied alone.
*
Amycus is an incompetent cretin.
Severus would never have let him teach DADA—or rather the Dark Arts now—if Voldemort hadn't insisted. His only redeeming quality is how he craves Severus' touch. Not only his touch, but the sting of his belt, too.
He kneels in Severus' office, his back bare, and takes his punishment with no complaint.
"Yes," he gasps as the leather cuts into his skin. "Oh—"
Sometimes he comes untouched, just from Severus whipping him. Sometimes he'll place his forehead on the floor, his arse jutting out, and Severus will drop to his knees and fuck him raw.
This a terrible year for Severus. He feels as if he's failing in his duties, torn between keeping up the façade of his loyalty to the Dark Lord and saving whomever he can. He expects he'll be dead by the end of the year, and he fucks Amycus as if it's the last time every time.
When the battle begins, Amycus still has the indents of Severus' teeth at his throat.
Somehow, Severus survives.
Somehow, he's glad he did.
*
Conclusion of experiment n°7:
Subject was imprisoned in Azkaban.
Notable trait: subject enjoyed pain during sex.
*
The curse was never about the Dark Lord.
It always was about Severus Snape, and who he sleeps with. Finding the right match for him was difficult and took many years.
Let's see.
We need someone with Voldemort inside them, like Quirrell. Someone famous, like Lockhart. Someone from his past, like Lupin. Someone marked by the Dark Lord, like Barty Crouch Jr. Someone who likes cats, like Umbridge. Someone who doesn't want to be alone, like Severus himself. Someone who enjoys pain with sex, like Amycus.
Oh yes.
There's one person matching all criteria.
You know his name.
*
"Potter," Severus says as the young man sits beside him at the High Table.
"Potter," he snaps as Potter bends over to tie his shoe, showing off his outrageously plump arse.
"Potter—" he snarls as he comes deep into that arse, a week into the new school year.
He has a streak going. He fucks whoever is the DADA teacher. He's not about to break it just because it's Potter now.
Besides, Potter made the first step.
It started with an invitation to Potter's room. In a surprising display of maturity, Potter thanked Severus for his role in the war, then apologized in an endearing, bubbling way. Somewhere in the middle, Severus replied with some subtle flirting. He had to switch to more blatant flirting when Potter seemed to miss his intent, and finally it ended with their mouths locked together, which clued Potter in as to Severus' intentions.
They rutted against each other, prick to prick, and made a mess of each other.
"Wow," Potter said afterwards, cheeks tinged pink, his ridiculous hair sticking up in all directions. "Snape, I—"
"Don't ruin this by declaring your love for me."
"I wasn't going to!"
"Good. This is purely physical, you understand?"
Potter nods. Severus is satisfied.
It's physical.
Physical when Severus pushes his thick cock into Potter, his balls snug against the man's arse.
Physical when he rakes his nails down his back and bites at his throat.
Physical when he spanks him, wrenching the most delicious sounds out of him.
Absolutely no feelings involved, oh no, none whatsoever.
So what if Potter is gorgeous, his thick eyelashes fluttering in the throes of pleasure? What if his mouth feels like heaven wrapped up around Severus' cock? What if he makes Severus laugh at the end of a long day? What if he remembers how Severus takes his tea and brews some for him whenever he comes by Potter's room?
There never were any feelings with the other DADA teachers, and Severus won't allow feelings to creep in now.
He's just fucking Potter.
Just shuddering in bliss as he spurts heat into his tight arse.
Just drinking in the sight of his handsome face as Potter comes in his hand.
Just trailing a line of kisses down his back before he spreads those cheeks apart and tongue at his hole.
Just watching him sleep as they cuddle after sex, and if he can't tear his eyes away from Potter's face, well, that doesn't mean anything.
June arrives too fast that year. Severus isn't ready to let Potter go. To see him leave, as all other DADA teachers did before him.
But Potter doesn't leave.
"I'll see you next year," he says, smiling at Severus.
It sounds like a love declaration.
"See you next year," Severus replies.
He doesn't mean I love you.
Shut up, he doesn't.
*
Potter is back in September. He teaches DADA again, and nothing terrible happens. Severus enjoys his company.
They keep fucking. Keep finding solace in each other's arms. Keep learning more about each other.
Two years later, they're officially dating, and four years later, they're married.
It took Potter to break the curse.
Severus has finally found his other half.