Chapter Text
It was late, and the bullpen was mostly quiet. Emily sat in her office, lost in thought. She should have been working on the file or rather, the stack of files in front of her, but her mind kept wandering elsewhere. She absently looked through her office window that faced the bullpen, seeing only a single desk still occupied: JJ’s. Her gaze lingered on the blonde agent for a while before Emily sighed heavily and tried to get some more work done.
“She’s okay.”
Hearing Rossi’s voice, Emily’s head snapped up, not having noticed the older agent standing in her doorway.
“But the real question is: are you?” he asked while walking into her office and sitting down in the chair in front of her desk.
“What do you mean? Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” she asked, trying to hold up her mask as the untouchable Unit Chief, Emily Prentiss.
“Because we almost lost two of our agents in an explosion yesterday. Two of our friends. Our family.”
“But we didn’t,” she stressed.
“Emily—” he said in a concerned tone.
“We did not lose them, okay?” It sounded more like a mantra she had to keep reminding herself of than an actual statement directed toward Rossi.
“Here’s the thing, Emily: I know that. But I also know that you have to keep telling yourself that over and over. Let me make something clear: It wasn’t your fault. Everyone would have made the same call. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
Emily huffed at what Rossi said and just shook her head.
“Is there actually anything you wanted?” she said coldly, trying to distance herself from the conversation - from her emotions.
Rossi ignored her hint to drop the topic and smiled slightly.
“Have you talked to her yet?”
“Dave, I really don’t have time for this chit-chat,” she said, annoyed, pointing at the stack of files in front of her.
“Oh yes, you’re too busy hiding in your office and staring at JJ from here. I can see that,” he laughed, which annoyed Emily even more.
“I am not staring at her,” she replied defensively and dropped her pen onto the files in front of her. At this point, she knew she wouldn’t get any more work done today.
“Sure, Emily,” he winked, earning an eye roll from her. “But back to my question—have you talked to her yet?” he pressed.
“And tell her what? ‘Hey JJ, sorry for almost getting you killed. Won’t happen again but hey, maybe it will, who even knows at this point. But at least please know that this wasn’t my intention,’” Emily said dryly, looking at Rossi, who just shook his head.
“Maybe start by asking how she’s doing. But right, that would imply you actually speaking to her, which you’ve been avoiding for the past…” Rossi paused, looking at Emily. “Months, actually.”
“I’m not avoiding her,” she said defensively. “And what’s up with you today anyway? Are you bored? Don’t you have anybody else to harass?”
“Emily, I’ve known you for how long now? Over ten years? I’ve seen you become who you are today, all the ups and all the downs. I’ve seen you put up walls to protect yourself, and I’ve seen you let us in as well. The past years have been hard on all of us for various reasons. I’ve had my fair share of not taking care of myself, I can’t argue that. I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I am here as your friend who’s worried. Because frankly, you seem to be turning into the Emily who doesn’t let anybody in, building up walls so high and thick that no one can reach you. And that’s not good,” he finished, but Emily only shook her head.
“What do you want me to say here, Dave? I have a job to do.”
“Which means you can’t allow yourself to be happy?”
“Who said I wasn’t happy?” Emily questioned, clearly annoyed. She didn’t have time for this.
“Are you? Happy, I mean?”
“I—” Emily stopped herself, realizing it was pointless anyway.
“Right,” Rossi said slowly as he got up from his seat. “I don’t know what happened between you and JJ, but fix it, Emily. For your own good. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Nothing happened between us,” she replied, looking confused.
“So how come you’re avoiding her a little extra?”
“Can you just stop, please? I’m not avoiding anybody. I’m the Unit Chief. I have work to focus on and on top of that, I also have to handle the Bureau’s politics, which is just great,” she said dryly.
“Mhm. You’re Unit Chief Emily Prentiss to all of us as well as Emily, our friend. Sure, we all miss our friend, but she’s still there. However, with JJ…” He paused, looking at her. “With JJ, you’re suddenly just her boss.”
Seeing how Emily opened her mouth but then closed it again, Rossi turned to leave her office. As he reached the door, he looked back at her.
“Talk to her. See how she’s doing. You need her, and she needs you,” he added, and with that, he left, leaving Emily at a loss for words. She shook her head, trying to forget what Rossi had just said. She was just doing her job and was under a lot of stress. She wasn’t avoiding her friends - or JJ.
Her eyes drifted back toward the bullpen. She glanced sadly at JJ’s desk again.
Okay, maybe Rossi was right. Maybe she was avoiding the blonde a little bit.
Meanwhile, in the bullpen, JJ finished up her last report and leaned back in her chair with a heavy sigh. She was exhausted. The past few days had been stressful, to say the least. She wanted nothing more than to go home and snuggle up with her boys but at the same time, she dreaded going home, knowing her sons were still with her mom anyway. So why even bother, right?
She heard footsteps and looked up to see Rossi leaving Emily’s office and heading in her direction.
“Go home, JJ. Get some rest,” he said when he reached her desk, smiling warmly.
“I’m just finishing up some work, and then I’m out of here too,” she said, forcing a smile.
Rossi placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Go home.”
She nodded and watched him leave the office. After he was gone, JJ’s gaze drifted toward Emily’s office, which was still illuminated. Of course it was. JJ wondered if Emily ever went home anymore these days. She was always the first to arrive and the last to leave. Shaking her head, JJ focused back on the report in front of her.
But she had a hard time concentrating. Exhaustion was catching up with her. On her way to the kitchen to get some water, she saw Emily already there, making a tea. JJ wondered when the older agent had managed to leave her office without her noticing.
“Hey, still lots to do?” JJ asked as she approached.
Emily, who hadn’t heard JJ come up behind her, quickly turned around and accidentally knocking her mug off the counter.
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” JJ said quickly, bending down to collect the broken pieces.
“No, no, you’re alright. I was just lost in thought and didn’t hear you,” Emily smiled faintly as she also bent down next to JJ. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be home with Will and your boys, getting some rest, considering all that’s happened?”
JJ threw the pieces into the trash bin nearby and leaned against the counter. “I wanted to finish my report,” she said simply, earning a raised eyebrow from Emily. “Henry and Michael are at my mom’s anyway, and I didn’t feel like being home.” She shrugged. “Besides, you’re still here too, so you don’t get to tell me to go home and rest if you’re not even doing it yourself.”
Emily smiled weakly and nodded. Both women stood in the kitchen awkwardly, neither knowing what to say. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence these past months. They had always shared an easy banter since the day Emily joined the BAU - countless girls’ nights and moments of mutual support. But lately, they barely spoke unless it was work-related.
After their forced small talk in the kitchenette, both women finished up their reports and coincidentally called it a night at the exact same time, now finding themselves standing together in the elevator.
The elevator chimed, breaking the uneasy quiet that had settled between them. Emily and JJ exited together, their paths converging unintentionally. The walk to the parking lot was suffused with an awkward silence, punctuated only by the clicking of JJ’s heels and the shuffle of Emily’s boots against the tiled floor.
Emily glanced sideways at JJ, noting the tightness in her shoulders and the faint dark circles under her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but immediately clamped it shut. What would I even say?
JJ felt the weight of Emily’s gaze and suppressed the urge to speak first. They hadn’t had a real conversation in months. Every time she tried, Emily either disappeared into work or deflected with professional small talk. And now? Now the silence was unbearable.
Finally, JJ stopped walking, turning to face Emily. “Why do we do this?”
Emily halted, frowning. “Do what?”
“This.” JJ gestured vaguely between them, frustration creeping into her voice. “We avoid talking about anything that actually matters. It’s like... I don’t even know you anymore.”
Emily’s lips parted, but no words came. JJ’s words stung because they were true. She had been avoiding JJ—not because she wanted to, but because every interaction felt like walking a razor’s edge: too much to feel, too much to lose.
“I’m sorry,” Emily said softly, the words sounding foreign even to herself.
JJ sighed, shaking her head. “That’s it? You’re sorry?”
Emily’s gaze dropped to the ground, and she stuffed her hands into her coat pockets. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“You could start by being honest with me,” JJ pressed, her voice low but insistent. “You used to be, Emily. What changed?”
Emily looked up sharply, her jaw tightening. “Nothing changed. I’ve just... had a lot on my plate lately. It’s not personal.”
JJ crossed her arms. “Not personal? Emily, it feels personal. I keep trying to reach out, and every time, you push me away. And honestly? I’m tired of pretending like that doesn’t hurt.”
The raw emotion in JJ’s voice made Emily flinch. She had been so focused on compartmentalizing her own feelings that she hadn’t considered how her distance might have affected JJ. But the truth was messy, and Emily wasn’t sure she was ready to face it or admit it.
“You have no idea how hard it is,” Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper.
JJ tilted her head, her expression softening slightly. “Then tell me, Emily. Help me understand.”
But before Emily could respond, a phone buzzed sharply between them, breaking the moment. Emily glanced down at her phone and sighed.
“I have to take this. We’ll talk later, okay?”
JJ huffed at that statement, watching Emily walk away. She leaned against a nearby wall, exhaling shakily.
Talk later, she repeated in her mind. She wasn’t sure if “later” would ever come.