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“I think it was right around here?” Vi sounded uncertain, her nose scrunching up in the way it did when she was trying to retrieve a long forgotten memory. Caitlyn of course thought it was adorable.
“You two stayed here for three months,” Caitlyn asked, taking in the aged hallway. The ceilings were tall enough, but it was the walls that grabbed your attention. Slashes, cracks, and blood stains alike covered the chipping plaster.
Vi shrugged, as if the state of the building wasn’t a cause for concern. Their joined hands raised slightly with her shoulder. “It’s close to the rings and dirt cheap. It was easiest.”
Caitlyn hummed a response, lip pursed slightly. They had discussed those months apart many times now, but it never fully took away the sting. Especially on her end, knowing it had been her actions that caused it.
They stopped in front of a thick, wooden door. The metal slot read 18.
“This is it,” Vi said. Her tone was heavier, the gravity of the situation hitting her.
Caitlyn squeezed her hand comfortingly. “Are you ready,” she asked gently, turning her head so she could fully gauge her expression. Vi met her gaze, nodding yes and squeezing her hand back. Satisfied, Cait took a small step away from the door to let her girlfriend take the lead.
Inhaling deeply, Vi reached out and turned the door knob, which creaked in protest as the pair stepped in.
There was a quiet, somber energy to the room that wasn’t unlike that of a morgue. A lingering acknowledgment of death clung to the walls, the floors, every corner. There was a fine layer of dust on everything, all of Loris’ belongings seemingly untouched.
“They didn’t move anything,” Vi observed absently, her voice quiet, as if trying to maintain the still atmosphere of their surroundings.
“What with all the chaos since the war, I suppose it’s hardly surprising,” Caitlyn reasoned, walking over to the desk. There were random belongings here and there, but it was a silver flask that caught her eye. She gingerly picked it up, turning it over in her hands.
Vi came to stand behind her, raising up on her toes so she could rest her head on her shoulder. Her hands found Cait’s waist as they looked at the item. “You know, I actually told him off before Jinx found me.”
“Did you,” Caitlyn asked, turning to look at Vi’s face. She nodded, still staring at the flask.
“He’d told me he was worried about me, said I was gonna get myself killed.” Caitlyn winced, but Vi continued calmly. “He actually reminded me of Vander, and that just made it more obvious. So I snapped at him. I told him to fuck off and that I could take care of myself and didn’t need him. I always thought he left after that.”
“Maybe he still wanted to keep an eye on you,” Caitlyn suggested. “That would explain why all his things are still here.” She held the flask out to Vi, offering it to her.
Vi gently took it from her, her thumb brushing against the aged metal. “Maybe,” she mused, lost in a memory. “I did end up apologizing to him. Before the fighting started.” A small, half smile made the corner of her mouth quirk up. “Well, I tried, at least. He just brushed it off, saying he’d known I wasn’t in my right mind and would be alright once I found a reason to sober up.”
Caitlyn let herself smile softly, even as Vi’s expression dropped again. “At least you got to say your peace.” She kissed Vi’s cheek comfortingly. Vi exhaled slightly, still in her head.
Caitlyn turned to her, holding her face in her hands, forcing her to meet her gaze. “Would you like a moment alone,” she offered. To say goodbye, the silence suggested. Sighing, Vi’s body sagged with relief as she nodded.
Caitlyn pressed a kiss to her mouth. Her girlfriend returned the gesture, one hand gripping her waist while the other still clutched the flask. “Thank you,” she murmured when they pulled away, pressing their foreheads together.
“Take your time, Darling,” she told her, kissing her brow before walking into the hallway. She gave Vi another comforting glance over her shoulder before Vi turned back to the room, facing it’s memories. Caitlyn looked away, giving her the privacy both she and the moment deserved.
Caitlyn hadn’t really known Loris, after all. She’d respected him, considered him a good soldier (and an even better person), but it was Vi who’d met Loris first. Hearing Vi would be on her strike team had convinced him to join. And Loris had been the one to look after Vi for all those months.
Caitlyn felt personally indebted to him for that last point in particular.
A few doors down, the sound of glass tinking against the floor caught her attention. Since she’d lost her eye, her hearing had become heightened. Puzzled, she walked up to the room, a rusted 15 adorning the door.
She reached down, carefully picking up a glass bottle. It was empty, but Caitlyn could still detect the burning scent of alcohol around the lip of the bottle. She wrinkled her nose at the stench, before glancing at the door in front of her.
This room was similar still, so she had to assume it too had been abandoned before the war. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Caitlyn pushed the door open.
It was a small space, only large enough to contain a bed, small fireplace, and trunk. A cracked mirror hung above the dingy sink, and a well used punch bag was suspended on a chain next to it.
Almost immediately, Caitlyn had to take a step back to avoid crushing another bottle underfoot. The floor was littered with them, some already broken in pieces.
She realized they covered every available surface (which wasn’t a lot); the headboard, the sink, the flimsy bed.
Carefully stepping farther into the room, she observed her surroundings. There were hardly any personal touches, aside from the bottles. Nothing around her told her anything about the room’s previous owner. It was as if the person was a ghost. Or, rather, they couldn’t be bothered to show their existence…
Suddenly, as if being slapped across the face, Caitlyn stumbled back as realization dawned on her. All the bottles of booze, the vacancy of the room, its proximity to Loris’, Vi’s explanation that the two of them had stayed there…
This had been Vi’s room. This was where she’d stayed those few months they’d spent apart.
Pressing her hand over her mouth, she took in the room with new eyes - well, eye - as she tried to imagine her partner in the space;
Vi, slumped over sitting on the floor, pounding back hard liquor until the bottle ran dry;
Vi, staring at her cracked reflection, smearing black paint across her cheeks for a fight, trying to erase the person she was;
Vi, falling onto this cheap mattress every night, bleeding and body aching, no doubt falling into a restless sleep with no one to comfort her when she woke up;
Vi, utterly alone and hopeless. All because Caitlyn hadn’t been able to admit she was wrong and get past her need for vengeance. Sure, she’d gotten there eventually. But Vi had to pay the price for her ignorance first.
She approached the bed, which had a blanket draped across the thin cot. She gingerly ran her hand across the navy blue fabric that also acted as the only source of color within the room. Upon further examination, she realized it wasn’t a blanket at all; the familiar insignia told her as much. It was one of the modified Kiramman banners that had been hung throughout the Undercity after her alliance with Ambessa.
Her brain supplied the terrible image of Vi, curled up (as Caitlyn now knew she often slept) under that damn flag. Guilty, she sat down on the edge of the bed, her back to the wretched fabric.
Cait’s eye landed on the small table beside the bed and, reaching out, she picked up Vi’s long abandoned Enforcer badge. Vi had been very transparent with her about the fact that she’d never fully sworn off the Enforcer, even after all they went through. Caitlyn knew she herself hadn’t; she was the one who’d consciously changed the curtains of her bed from green to violet and hadn’t let anyone else into her room. But to think of Vi clinging to the memory of her, despite how Caitlyn had hurt her, made her heart ache in a whole new way.
Caitlyn pressed her hand to her chest. The walls felt too close, the solemness of the room too overwhelming. She backed out of the room, closing the door with a shuttering breath, unable to tear her eye away from the space until she’d shut the door.
She swallowed, staring absently down at the badge. Her thumb brushed against the edge of the metal, not really seeing it.
“Cait?” It took Vi’s voice to bring her back. She looked up, turning to her right to see Vi. She was standing outside Loris’ apartment, his flask tucked into the bag at her feet. Her eyes raked over Caitlyn in concern, trying to pinpoint the reason for her apparent distress.
“You okay?” God, even the way her voice softened when her words were directed at Caitlyn made her melt.
She could lie, cover for herself, but she dismissed the idea. She would never hide from Vi like that. Even if she wanted to, it wouldn’t work; she was a terrible actress and Vi could read her easily by now. So, she shook her head.
“Okay.” Vi walked up to her, gently placing her hand on her arm. “Can I know why? Maybe I can help.”
Caitlyn smiled weakly. There were still days she woke up swearing Vi was too good for her; which she probably was. Wordlessly, she held up the enforcer badge for Vi to see. She watched Vi’s eyes squint, confused, as they darted between the door and the badge. Then they widened in recognition.
“I wasn’t looking for it,” Caitlyn explained, the clarification of the room as opposed to the badge not needed. “I just… found it.”
“Never thought I’d see this again,” Vi said, her eyes burning into the badge. She turned her gaze to the door. “Or that room, to be honest.” She exhaled a laugh, her tone unchanged. Caitlyn didn’t know why she wanted to cry at her nonchalance.
Instead, she reached out and wrapped her arms around Vi tightly, enveloping her in her hold; the height difference aided her. Vi instinctually returned the favor, one hand wrapping around her waist while the other braced her neck. Always protective.
“I’m really okay, Cait,” Vi said, running her hand comfortingly up and down her back. “I’m okay now. You know that, right?”
Caitlyn nodded into her neck, but didn’t loosen her hold quite yet. “You never should’ve had to go through that,” she couldn’t help but whisper, her fingers pressing into Vi’s shoulders.
“Cait, we’ve talked about this,” Vi reminded her, still rubbing her back.
“I know,” she admitted, squeezing her eye tighter to combat the tears threatening to fall. “And I know you’re doing better than you were then, thank God. But you still went through all that, and I hate it, I’m just so, so sorry.”
“You didn’t make me do the things I did,” Vi pointed out.
“Yes, but I put you in the position to do so,” she said. Vi sighed, unable to find a counterargument. “I made you feel like you had to do this. Like you had no one, when I should’ve been the one person you had regardless whatever bullshit we were going through.”
“Well, that’s how I feel now.” Vi held her shoulders, gently guiding her back far enough to look at her. When Caitlyn did meet her gaze, Vi’s eyes bore into hers. There was nothing but love and vulnerability to be found in her expression. “Do you realize that? You’re my anchor, my lifeline, my…” she struggled to find more examples, eventually giving up. Caitlyn smiled softly, which Vi took as a win.
“You get my point,” she said, tucking a loose wave behind Cait’s ear. “All those things you said you should’ve done? You’re doing them now, Cait. Shit, you show me every fucking day how much you love me. Sometimes, I almost feel like I deserve it.”
“You do,” she immediately responded. Vi hesitated. As much progress as she had made, Cait knew she struggled accepting things for herself.
“… I think someday, I could believe that,” she said carefully, cupping Caitlyn’s cheek in her hand. “Because of you.”
Caitlyn’s heart felt so full, she didn’t care as a tear slipped down her cheek, rolling down Vi’s hand. “I adore you.”
Vi grinned, leaning up to press their lips together. “Right back at you, Cupcake,” she said between kisses, tone warm. When they pulled away, Caitlyn gazed at Vi thoughtfully.
“What,” she questioned. “What is it? You’re thinking is loud.”
Caitlyn shook her head slightly. “A part of me will never forgive myself for all the things I did. To you, especially.” Vi‘s brow furrowed, but she let her continue. “But, more than I want to live in that regret, I want to live my life. With you. I never want you to feel like you’re alone, or unwanted, ever again. I never want you to call this,” she glanced back at the room in shame, “you’re home.”
It was her turn to hold Vi’s face in her hands. “Wherever you want to be, I’ll follow. Whether it’s here in Piltover, or somewhere far removed from Runeterra entirely. Whether we’re living at the estate, or an apartment across town, or a shoebox of a place with leaky pipes and creaky floors,” this earned her a wet laugh from Vi. She brushed the tears from her face. “It doesn’t matter. Because I’m here. And as long as you’ll have me, I’ll never stop providing you the care and love you deserve.”
Vi stared at her, looking like she was in a daze, and Caitlyn would’ve laughed in a different situation. Instead, she fought of the instinct to apologize, just in case her words were too much, as she waited for Vi’s response. Slowly, she exhaled, smiling like she was beside herself. “Cait… don’t you get it? You’re my home. As long as I’m with you, I have all I’m ever gonna need.”
Close to tears again, Caitlyn pulled Vi into a hug, warmth flooding her skin and her heart. Vi held her, tucking her face under Caitlyn’s chin. Cait pressed a kiss into her hair. “I love you, Violet.”
She felt Vi smile as she placed a soft kiss to her collarbone. “I love you too, Caitlyn.”
Sighing, they eventually pulled away, though Vi kept her hands on Cait’s shoulders as one of the sniper’s hands ran through her longer hair. “Is there anything else you wanted to see, Darling?”
Vi shook her head, smiling as she looked up at Cait, adoration in her eyes. “I’m good. Let’s head home.”
Caitlyn nodded, taking her hand once more as the pair began walking back to Piltover, bag slung over Vi’s shoulder, leaving the abandoned apartments behind them.