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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” Tisha screamed “GET THIS STUPID THING OUT OF ME!”
“Ok” sprout said ripping the baby out of Tisha “oh damn this things ugly…”
“Sprout you can’t say that!” Cosmo panicked
“I mean he’s not wrong” brightey admitted
“YEAH CUZ IT LOOKS LIKE YOU!!!” Tisha screamed “GOD THAT WHILE NIGHT WAS A MISTAKE!!”
“Well what do we do with it…?” Brighteney questioned
“Well we can’t keep it Shelly will find out!” Tisha yelled angrily
“Well it looks like a lamp thing so just like sell it to someone”
“SPROUT YOU CANT SAY THAT!!!”
“Well they don’t really seem to care cosmo…”
“JUST GET RID OF IT!” Tisha was getting really angry now after all she just had a baby with someone who wasn’t her wife or whatever!
“Alright well I’ll just ship it to some random furniture store!”
“SPROUT!”
—————————————————
A few weeks later Mark and Wallter were shopping for some furniture to spruce up their new house together after getting married when they noticed a small lamp boy wandering around Rokea
“I- Wallter what is that?” Mark questioned very southernly
“Well it appears to be a lamp child?” Said the very British man named Wallter
“Well we can’t just leave it here! Let’s see if we can find its parents”
“Alright dear” Wallter sipped his tea very Britishly
Mark and Wallter walked around the store with the lamp but couldn’t find its parents any ware so they decided to ask an employee.
“Say sir have you seen this lil guys parents any ware?”
“Huh? Ohhh that thing yeah it’s kinda just been wandering around the store it came in a box that said free child or something”
“What the fuck” mark blurted out
“Yeah you can have it if you want no one seems to want it”
“Well that is quite rude of them” said the really tall British thing
“Well what do you say honey wanna keep em”
“Well why not!”
“He looks like a Lampert tuh me”
“Suits him well if I do say so myself!”
“Alright we’ll take em!”
“Ok that will be 5.99 or something I don’t know…” said the employee unamused
“But I thought- oh whatever.” Mark handed over six dollars and the new happy family left the store
“Oh shit we forgot to buy furniture.”
So the new happy family walked back into the store
—————————————————-
years later Lampert was crying in his room when he heard the door open loudly
“Go away dad I don’t want to talk right now!”
“Hi sweaty.”
“The fuck did you just call me?” Lampert said turning around to see two short toddler sized creatures a lamp like him but more maroon and a tissue box? He was very confused and scared.
“Well your all wet so I guess I assumed your sweaty?” Said the lamp
“NO! LEAVE ME ALONE IM CRYING BECAUSE MY PARENTS JUST GOT DIVORCED!”
“ well this might not be the best time to tell you this but……..you were adopted” said the tissue box
Lampert was now even more confused then before
“Yeah no shit Sherlock I’m a lamp marks a mannequin and Wallters made of concrete!”
Lampert was getting frustrated now
“Just leave me alone..”
“Hey that’s no way to talk to your mothers!”
What? Lampert thought he didn’t have any moms and oooooooooooh oh god
“WHAT”
“I’m brighteny and that’s Tisha” the lamp said
“You’re the result of a one night smash and dash…”
“WHAT!?”
Lampert was very frustrated and confused
“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WEIRDOS EVEN IF YOUR MY BIOLOGICAL UH MOMS I GUESS YOU’LL NEVER BE MY PARENTS!”
“Yeah we know anyways just wanted to tell you that” Tisha said nonchalantly before being smacked on the head by a wooden plank
Brighteny turned around her face in shock when the same plank came down smack dab in the middle of her face
“Sorry bud don’t know how they got in you okay?” Mark smiled sweetly
Lampert rushed in to hug his dad “yeah thanks dad”
The end