Chapter Text
Rio wasn’t sure hooking up with her ex wife for the millionth time in the span of six months had been a good idea, but here she was, once again, in her Minecraft boxers and a black tank top, sitting on her ex wife’s couch, very attentively watching a documentary on russian submarines during World War II while Agatha was upstairs, taking an excruciatingly long shower just out of spite. Of course, she had to waste her warm water till the last drop. She would do anything to delay the moment she had to eventually come downstairs and finally aknowledge Rio’s presence.
They had fallen into some kind of a routine lately. That was why she didn’t flinch a second when the main door opened and she heard a familiar voice exclaiming his usual series of: “Oh my god, Scratchy, you’re so cute, you’re so squishy, hi” and then his other usual “Agatha?” and then again his predictable “Oh”, when entering the living room and finding Rio on the couch, tv remote in her hands, looking bored as hell to see him and at the same time, kinda entertained.
“Hi, loser.” She found her Jurassic Park sweater left at her feet, quickly put it on. She coulnd’t find her jeans. Where the actual fuck were her jeans? She tried to revive the memories of the previous night, trying to recall at which point Agatha had eagerly ripped them off of her and most importantly, where. Please god, not the kitchen table.
“Hi, Rio.” He replied, Scratchy still in his arms, scrunching his nose repeatedly, ears perked up, wrapped around him protectively. Rio tried to pretend her heart didn’t clench a little at the sight. Nicky always used to…
“What the fuck Vidal?!” Agatha’s growl echoed through the stairs, breaking the spell. In a span of seconds, Agatha was in the middle of the living room, covered by her night robe, hair wet, frizzy and wild. She was fuming. Billy squinted at the sight like a young victorian man who had never seen a woman in his entire life.
“Have you finished my shampoo, again?! Que cono haces??”
“Cono? That’s not the right pronunciation of that word babe. It’s…”
“Well I don’t have a Phd in linguistics and I don’t care! What I care about, hi Teen."
She quickly glanced at him before turning back her attention on her very amused, very irritatingly, very cute ex wife. “What I care about is my shampoo getting ruined again for the second time this week in a span of three days!”
“Wow… you’re never beating the lesbian u-haul allegations after this.” Billy exhaled at the same time when both Rio and Agatha exclaimed: “Shut up”.
He shrugged. “Nevermind. Can I use the kitchen table? I really need to finish some assignments for tomorrow and I don’t have a lot of space on my desk in the attic, and if I don’t have enough space I feel like I can’t work properly.”
Rio rubbed her temples rolling her eyes “Dios mio.”
“Of course, Billy. That’s what Rio wanted to say, of course you can stay.” Agatha grit her teeth, gesturing him towards the kitchen.
“It’s too early. Why does he always have to come here so early?” Rio groaned as he left for the kitchen, when she was sure he couldn’t hear them.
“I could ask you the same question but in reverse. Why do you always take so long to leave?” Agatha puffed away an hair lock out of her face, crossing her arms. Rio tried not to smile. She was trying to give off she was pissed off at her, but Rio knew she was happy to see she was still here. Rio was the only one able to see through Agatha’s antics. It was endearing, to Agatha. It had also been very comforting, and one of the things that had drawn her to Rio in the first place, many years before. The feeling of recognition. Knowing she would have understood.
“Oh, Agatha please. Why don’t you make me leave? I’m sure you have some good ideas going around in that brilliant mind of yours to make it happen.”
“Shut up. Seriously.”
“Make me.” Rio sangsong, smiling, too smug to hide it. Agatha bit her lip in frustration. She wanted to scream. What the fuck? What the actual fuck, they were divorced, for fuck sake, they weren’t supposed to be talking to each other let alone having sex, flirting, playing family again like nothing had happened. She needed to get a grip. She absolutely had to. She huffed in frustration.
She was going to regret this, she was sure about it. The universe would have made her life harder. This was a line they shouldn’t cross, not after all those months, the papers were signed, things had been arranged, she couldn’t…
“What do you want for breakfast?”
Please god, please universe, please whatever entity was listening right now, please don’t let that go to her head, she thought. Rio’s grin was wider than the one of a cheshire’s cat. Agatha pointed her index finger at her.
“ Don’t make me regret this!”
So, now Agatha had two problems. The first, most apparent one: her ex wife was in her kitchen, in her ridicolous Minecraft boxers and Jurassic Park themed sweater, going around making all that noise too early in the morning, looking for the coffee machine, switching it on, looking for the small dinosaur coffee cups she liked, found them still in the kitchen cabinet where she used to put them. She smiled again, of course.
Of course, Agatha hadn’t had the courage to put them away for good. They had bought them at christmas, three years ago, together with Nicholas. He wanted to persuade Agatha to buy an entire set of dinosaurs kitchen utensiles found at Ikea, it was a limited collection and she knew that Nicky wasn’t the only nerd in the family who would have loved it, so she caved in.
Rio started preparing the side of the table that wasn’t occupied by Billy and his textbooks. Billy. Problem number two. How was she going to break the news to him that yes, she was his legal guardian and she used to let him pretty much free most of the time to do what he wanted but she had to draw the line at smoking weed in the attic and coming home the next day. Or trying to use a Ouija board during sleepovers with his emo friends next to Evanora’s ashes. Her mother’s ghost was the last thing she wanted to evoke, actually. Enough with the religious trauma.
“Hei, Rio, do you know that our professor specialized in archaeology and wants us to visit the British Museum for the London trip we’re planning? She’s pretty cool actually. I think you must know her, she’s a weirdo but in a frightening way. I told her about you and she said you guys were kinda friends in college?”
Rio frowned. “You’re talking about the swedish harpie? Hela?”
“Oh, please, remind me who actually hooked up with the swedish harpie when we broke up in college.” Agatha remarked, sarcastically. A note of jealousy behind her tone, carefully hidden by the venom she spat out, enough to be recognized by Rio, who tried not to smile.
Billy coughed while drinking his juice.
“What? First of all, you guys broke up in college? And second of all, yes now I do understand the look she gave me when I mentioned you.”
“It was just for a few weeks.” Rio started explaining at the same time Agatha said:
“It was my fault the first time.”
Rio swallowed, her smile fading. Agatha sipped her coffee, mentally chastising herself for saying that out loud. Why did she always have to razor cut things, Jesus Christ. It was like she had a special ability to never say something appropriate when it was needed.
Always the wrong thing. Always the worst one.
“Anyways..I was wondering, hum, if you could help me with this thing I’m preparing for the presentation we’re doing about ancient Egypt? I know you have a lot to do so no pressure but, you know this project could give me a lot of extra credits for my college applications next year so…”
Agatha saw Rio considering it. She knew her too well to know the answer before she even spoke.
“Yes. Why not?”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! Gracias, oh my god, I’m soo behind.”
“Yes, whatever, don’t mention it.” Rio waved a hand, trying to sound casual.
“I promise I’m gonna make it up to you somehow!”
“What are you, a victorian enslaved kid? Relax, I’m gonna help you, no need to repay me in any way.”
Agatha witnessed that exchange between the two of them happening in front of her eyes and pretended it didn’t sting. She didn’t want to think about Nicky, not now. She had managed to not let her mind wander to him for an exact amount of forty minutes that morning, the longest streak ever, since the day he had left them. She pressed her lips so tight she felt the salty taste of blood in her mouth. She had bit her lower lip and was bleeding a bit, she could feel it. She took another sip of coffee to mask it. She swallowed again.
She zoned out while Rio and Billy kept talking, something about death rituals and piramids, apparently, well she didn’t fucking know. She was specialized in medieval architecture, nothing close to the egyptians. She still remembered vividly the first time they had met, she and Rio, at a gothic art seminar. It was pretty much impossible not to notice her, her aura wasn’t really easy to ignore. First, she was hot. Agatha had always had a weak spot for hot emo girls.
She looked like she could have played the bass in Avril Lavigne’s band, even though, as they had started talking, commenting the extremely boring topics discussed at the seminar, Rio had revealed herself to be a total dorky nerd with golden retriever eyes that followed Agatha everywhere.
“Agatha? Are you listening?”
She blinked, finding herself in the present again. Rio was looking at her expectanctly, eyebrows raised, waiting silently for an answer. Those big, brown eyes. Agatha felt sick. She stood up, spilling a bit of coffee on the table. The familiar sting at the corner of her eyes, creeping up, unexpected, unguarded. No, no, no.
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry. I’m gonna get changed.”
“Wait. You didn’t answer our question!” Billy raised his palms like he had just made an obvious observation, not noticing that Agatha, during those minutes he had spent talking to Rio about whatever the hell, was floating in another dimension thinking about the past. Thinking about when things weren’t complicated, when grief and sorrow and death hadn’t inevitably shaped and changed the course of their lives forever, making them hate each other.
“Which question?” She blinked like an owl. God, she could feel the migraine impending on her like a scythe.
“Do you want us to go to the grocery store for tonight?”
“Tonight?”
Rio exhaled slowly. “It’s Lilia’s retirement party, remember?”
“Oh, right. Right, I had…you know what, yes, go, take whatever. Some italian wine she likes, I don’t know. You guys think about it, I trust you know her better than me.”
She escaped upstairs, almost running away. She ran to the bathroom and closed the door shut. Her clean clothes were still waiting for her, disposed neatly folded onto the laundry machine. She took her face into her hands, prayed the tears didn’t fall, sat onto the side of the bathtub, not able to move an inch. She waited a few minutes, not moving. Until she heard a small knock on the door and a soft voice, speaking through it.
“Everything’s alright?”
“Yes, yes. Everything’s fine Rio, whatever.” Her lower lip was trembling. She bit it.
Rio opened the door slowly. She was finally in her jeans now, still no shoes though. Agatha recognized the dinosaur socks they had bought for Nicholas, years before. Rio approached her, kneeling in front of her. Agatha turned her head left, forcing herself to stare at the wall instead of her ex wife’s questioning eyes.
“You’re not fine. Tell me what’s wrong Agatha.” Her voice was soft, impossibly soft. She couldn’t do this, not now.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She growled back. Rio tried to brush an hairlock out of Agatha’s face, but Agatha’s hand snapped hers away. Like a stray cat, not wanting to be loved. Rio exhaled a long breath, nodding slowly. Her shoulders sagged, and for a moment she didn’t move nor said anything.
Then, she stood up.
“Okay. Me and Billy are going to the supermarket then. Let me know if you need anything.”
Agatha didn’t move an inch, and Rio retracted, heading out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Rio was staring at a set of vaguely expensive wine bottles, trying to decide which one to purchase for Lilia’s party. She was staring at the bottles’ prices without actually really reading it. In her mind, flashes and bits of the nights before were on incessant replay combined with her interaction with Agatha in the bathroom, half a hour before. The proof she still hated her, somehow.
Billy’s voice distracted her from her thoughts.
“Hei. Are you okay?”
He tilted his head towards her, slightly.
God. Why did he look like he had inherited Nicholas’ mannerisms? Was it true? Was it really a similarity or was just Rio’s way of coping, was it grief trying to make her see things that weren’t there? Was she just projecting? Billy wasn’t Nicky. Billy was Wanda and Vision’s son, not hers.
Wanda, Vision, Tommy and Nicky were all fucking dead and no funny tricks her brain was trying to pull would have been succesfull enough to persuade her of the contrary.
“What?” She blinked twice. The lights of the supermarket were insanely bright. It was overstimulating as hell, and she hated grocery shopping because of it. She knew Nicky had inherited a lot of her traits, cause sometimes he would just shut down in the middle of a conversation if the environment got overstimulating. She remembered clearly once, he had a meltdown at a friend’s birthday party and she had to bring him home early, Agatha was worried. They knew he wasn’t like neurotypical kids and that was fine actually, to her it was, but sometimes she couldn’t prevent herself from spiralling into worry, thinking about her childhood and how it would have been complicated for him to navigate real life once an adult. You’re overthinking it, things have changed now, Agatha used to tell her.
“I’m just wondering. You look… out of place.”
“It’s fine, kid. I’m just tired.”
He hummed, crossing his arms. She chose a bottle, without reading any further. Enough. She had to take something and get out of this fucking store. She payed in silence, feeling Billy’s gaze on her all the way to the store’s exit.
“It’s Agatha.” He said once they were out of the grocery store, walking back home. “I mean, Agatha is the problem. You’re thinking so loudly your brain could literally explode. Literally.”
“ And what do you think you can do about it?”
“Nothing. I’m happy you guys are back together actually.”
“Teen, me and Agatha aren’t back together.”
“But you’re constantly at her house! You’ve been sleeping together for months! Don’t act like I’m an idiot whow can’t read subtext when I see it. Plus, you guys aren’t really quiet sometimes.” His cheeks slightly reddened as he spoke that last sentence. Rio’s ears went red. What the fuck Agatha.
“Oh my god. Is this a subtle strategy to make me buy you a new pair of headphones?”
“Well, no it was just a honest observation. But if the idea is there, I mean who am I to oppose myself against it?”
Rio’s mind wandered to three years before. One year before impact. Nicky was eight and he was negotiating his birthday presents. Alice and Jen had already promised a pair of roller blades, even tho Agatha was terrified at the idea of him using them. She hated the idea of him doing anything remotely dangerous. Agatha never trusted anyone with their child. Ironic, wasn’t it? The only person she trusted, had failed her miserably. She had failed both of them, and this knowledge would have haunted her forever.
Was Billy their second chance at trying to be a family? Rio believed in fate. She believed in it since falling in love with Agatha Harkness. She wasn’t supposed to attend that seminar, the guy who was supposed to go had a car accident the day before, so her professor gave her the opportunity to go with him. The seats assigned to her and her other colleague were wrong, so she had to switch, and landed to the one next to Agatha’s.
Everything in her life, from that moment on, had been dictated or even just mildly influenced by the sole presence of Agatha in it. She had transformed her, carved a space into her heart and soul so foundational, it was impossible to go back to how she was before. Unthinkable, even. This was the thing: she didn’t remember how her life was before Agatha. Before Nicky. Maybe she didn’t even have a life at all sometimes.
One thing she was sure about: no amount of therapy could have granted her the forgiveness she needed to move on. No amount of therapy could have let her go back in time and call the ambulance before things escalated. No amount of therapy could have made her forget Nicky telling her he couldn’t manage to breath before collapsing to the ground.
No amount of therapy could have erased the memory of Agatha screaming in the hospital hallway what the hell have you given him how could you fucking forget he’s allergic to nuts? She hadn’t forgotten, of course. She had just absentmindedly checked the protein bar list of ingredients, in a hurry, giving it to him without thinking too much about it, the paper she was due on peer review publication due the next day, too many things to still revise. The only time she should have thought more about something.
She stopped in her tracks.
The memory too vivid to ignore it. Before she could do anything about it, tears were falling on her cheeks, hot and stained with shame. She tried to wipe them away, but she was frozen in place. Billy stopped too and blinked repeatedly, realizing what was happening. He swallowed. He was familiar with grief, it was nothing new to him, unfortunately. The wound was still fresh for him. The car accident that had killed his parents and brother had happened a year ago. They say one year is the right amount of time to correctly process the loss of a loved one.
There must be something wrong in the equation then, Rio had thought. She was still stuck there. Two years had passed, and she was still there.
Billy cleared his throat, hesitating. He then, tentatively put a hand onto Rio’s shoulder, lightly squeezed. No reaction. He must have thought it was a green light to keep going, cause he awkwardly leaned in and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her stiff body. He was now slightly taller than her. He awkwardly patted her back, obviously not knowing what to do or how to comfort her, and at that, Rio caved. She hugged him back, and cried till she had no more tears to spare.
When they came back Agatha had changed into her clean clothes. She was adjusting her locket on her neck, looking at herself in the mirror, hoping the swelling in her eyes had gone away. They didn’t look too red. It could look like allergy, and not like she had spent the previous forty minutes crying in the bathroom, unable to stop. She headed downstairs, Scratchy in her arms. He must had sensed she was crying, cause when she was still sitting on the bathroom floor she had found him hopping inside entering from the semi opened door, staring at her.
So she had cried even more, thinking a fucking rabbit had more emotional intelligence than most people, offering her palms up to let him approach her, gently taking him in her lap, pressing her nose in his soft fur to calm down. Nicky loved that rabbit. She was opposed to adopt him actually, this had been another Rio idea.
Nicky and Rio were so similar. All of their friends and even strangers always pointed it out. Nicky looked like Rio’s little clone. Same face, same smile. Same big brown eyes. Same quiet but chaotic energy. God, she missed him terribly.
She went downstairs, finding Billy and Rio in the living room. The energy was… weird.
Billy looked awkward, more than usual, and Rio, well, Rio was..
Had she been crying?
Her eyes were swollen, more than hers. Definitely red. Billy clasped his hands together, noticing Agatha was staring.
“Well, I think I’m gonna go to the library to get some research done for that project. Which time do I have to come home for the party?”
“Lilia said to get there at eight.” Agatha replied, her eyes still on Rio, who was doing everything in her power not to look at her.
“Okay, well, I’m gonna go then. Thank you Rio. I will update you tonight.”
He took his bag, crossed the room and gave Agatha a quick kiss on her cheek before turning to Rio and awkwardly raising his hand, then stopping mid air, and landing it on Rio’s shoulder, briefly, saying:
“Okay, guys. Hum, see you later.”
He quietly exchanged a brief look with Agatha before opening the door and disappearing behind it. Agatha didn’t speak for several seconds. Rio looked miserable. She knew whose fault was it. She knew Rio had been living in a hell for two years now and she, on her part, wasn’t doing much to alleviate her pain. She did a lot more to aggravate it, in fact.
Agatha was the one to ask for divorce. Agatha was the first one to sign the papers. Agatha was the one to still blaming her during couple therapy sessions, then making her cry, then making her leave, then crying herself in front of their therapist admitting she felt guilty but too angry at Rio to do anything about it.
“What happened? The twink pulled a move on you?”
Here she was again.
Trying humor to deflect. Rio, who usually played her game, didn’t look eager to give in. She looked mad as hell. She didn’t say anything, just stared at Agatha with an intensity she could have burned the entire house down.
Agatha loved that about her. She remembered Alice and Jen being a little freaked out the first times meeting her, being at the club, seeing her pushing away guys that tried to drool over Agatha, shoving them off, almost starting a fight. Oh, but she loved it. She was a weirdo in love with egyptian coffins and would sometimes preferred hanging out with her nerdy friends translating hierogliphs at the library’s archive instead of going to the movies with Agatha, Jen and Alice; had a concerning amount of trinkets collected from her field work in Giza, piled up into her bedroom/studio, including a small sarcophagus of a mummified cat that never ceased to freak out Agatha to the core every time she stepped inside, but she loved everything about it.
That same intensity she put into everything she loved, from the weird writings she spent nights translating, the sarcophagi pictures she carefully analyzed together with Marc and Layla (her other archaeologist nerdy friends and colleagues), to the care she showed her loved ones, especially Nicky and Agatha. Now Billy too, in her own way.
Agatha couldn’t be mad at her ad aeternum. She had eventually to stop.
“I’m sorry.” Agatha finally said. It felt like admitting she had killed someone. But wasn’t it a little true? She had kinda killed them both, with that unrelenting rage, and desire to spit venom incessantly at every angle. She watched Rio’s shoulder slowly dropping.
“About what?” Her tone still defensive.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“No. I don’t. Tell me.” Rio pressed, unrelenting, but her tone was soft.
Agatha crossed her arms. Uncrossed them.
“I have been unnecessarily cruel to you. I… I know it was an accident, at the end of the day. It could have happened to anyone. It could have happened to me.” Her eyes were wet, yet again. Christ. She kept going. “I know how exhausting he was sometimes. He always had something to say, with all those special interests he had. Like you. First the space, then the dinosaurs, then dinosaurs and space, he could talk for hours and then your brain was just like melting and. What I’m trying to say is” She stepped closer to Rio, who was now looking almost afraid of what could happen next. “I think grief made me think being angry at you was easier than facing the thought of losing him.”
Tears fell down on her face for the millionth time that morning. She wiped them off with her knuckles. Rio was still watching, almost not breathing.
“I’ve been a fucking jerk.”
“You were cruel, Agatha.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t want a divorce.” Rio kept going.
“I didn’t either.” Agatha breathed out.
They looked at each other through the tears. Then a smile crept up on the corners of Rio’s mouth. Agatha realized what she had just said, and they both burst into laughter. Agatha snorted, crying and laughing at the same time, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. Rio looked at her, waiting. Patiently, trying to cool down the burning anticipation.
She felt Scratchy hopping around their feet. Rio was finally about to say something, but Agatha stepped closer, eliminating the distance between them. She cupped Rio’s face in her hands, softly brushing away some hair from Rio’s cheek, trailing her fingers behind her ear. She wanted to speak, to say something. Ask for forgiveness again. But maybe, maybe the way Agatha was just holding her, looking at her, maybe that was a beginning. Agatha leaned in and they hugged. Rio pressed her nose into the crook of Agatha’s neck, inhaling her, feeling Agatha slowly warming against her skin, no words needed. For now, maybe, it was enough.
When Billy came back home, he found them on the couch, watching a documentary on penguins. Agatha’s arm was wrapped around Rio’s shoulder. Lesbian activity detected, he noted silently to himself, smirking, before leaving his bag in the hallway.
“Hello? Aren’t you guys getting ready for the party?” he asked approaching them, judging, from how he found them, they had been preoccupied with other thoughts. They were both fully clothed, but Agatha’s blouse was slightly unbottoned, her cheeks flushed like she had just finished a marathon. Rio’s hair was a bit messy, but other than that, she looked much more collected than her.
Scratchy hopped next to Billy and scrunched his nose, waiting for his human friend to pet him. He didn’t have time now. They were already almost late, and he hated to be late. Especially with Lilia, who was a freak.
“We already are.” Agatha turned her head towards him. Rio chuckled. Billy first noticed the redness in Agatha’s eyes, then her pupils. Then, the weird scent floating around in the air hit him like a truck as he realized. His grinder was on the small living room table, next to the lamp.
“You stole my weed!” he exclaimed. Rio fully laughed now. Agatha pressed her lips together to avoid bursting into laughter too.
“Oh please, don’t be a child. I’m gonna refund you, don’t worry.”
“You’re gonna… Agatha!” He looked scandalized. “You guys smoked all my weed? Before going to Lilia’s party?!”
“Not all, I mean… a huge part. It was just a few joints, right Rio?”
“Yea, you had already smoked the most of it kid.”
He scoffed, looking affronted. If they actually hadn’t smoked all of it he could have considered the situation almost exhilarating, for sure. But now, who was going to tell Yelena that she had to find some more for him? She was already pissed he still had to pay for this one.
“So I suppose I am the one that should be driving?!” he commented sarcastically. Rio stood up, shrugging, going over the hallway to retrieve her jacket. Her sarcophagi shaped carabiner tingling on her side.
“I can drive, I haven’t even smoked that much.”
“Absolutely not!” Agatha and Billy exclaimed at the same time. Rio laughed again. Agatha went to take her coat, looked over at Billy raising a finger at him.
“You’re driving, Teen. Come on, let’s go. It’s already late.”
“Yes, and whose fault is that?”
“Oh, shut up.”
Agatha hated to drive. She never respected speed limits and constantly fell into arguments with the police for it, to the point Alice had advised her to simply stop driving or she would have had to corrupt every colleague she had in Westview to prevent her from being arrested repeatedly. He drove, still pissed off at them for smoking his weed, but secretly relieved for seeing they were actively, or at least they seemed actively engaged in trying to work their shit out and not kill each other.
Once they arrived at Lilia’s doorstep, Agatha exclaimed:
“The wine! I forgot the wine! Have you taken it?” she asked Rio, who raised her eyebrows, still very clearly stoned, and shrugged, raising her hands in defeat.
“Don’t look at me.”
“Of course you guys forgot the wine! You were too busy getting stoned and making out like two horny teenagers on the couch!” Billy exclaimed irritated, at the same time the door flung open and Jen emerged from it, eyeing all three of them with a raised eyebrow, tilting her head.
“I’ll pretend I haven’t heard anything. Hi guys.”
“Hi Jenny Kale. Can we step inside or do we need an invitation?” Agatha asked.
“I don’t know. Are you guys vampires?”
“I am about to become one if you don’t let us in, I’m suuper hungry.” Rio commented. Jen chuckled at Rio’s words and let them in. Alice was in the living room, already drinking some even more expensive italian wine than the one Rio had bought. She was letting Lilia give her a tarot reading.
Rio was usually the one always ready to get a reading but now she was too busy thinking about the arancini that Lilia had prepared and already served on the table in the living room, next to the windows. It wasn’t like a dinner, more like an organized buffet party. Lilia was a strange, funny woman. The first time Rio had met her, she had wanted to give her a reading right away, like she did with everyone. Lilia was Agatha’s phd supervisor and mentor, she had quite a reputation at the medieval history department.
Rio and Marc had attended some of her seminars about medieval funerary sarcophagi purely out of interest, and also cause sometimes their fields tended to overlap, so she was thrilled when she discovered that Agatha knew her personally. Don’t worry, she can be intimidating at first, Agatha had warned her.
The first card she had pulled was Death. She thought it was quite fitting and had laughed at the time. An archaeology reasercher, specializing in egyptian funeral rituals, getting the Death card on a tarot reading. Now she wondered if that had been a sarcastic remark from the universe, trying to warn her. An orphan who became an archaeologist specialized in death rituals, with a deceased son. Fuck the universe and its messages.
Lilia cheerfully greeted Billy, scruffing his curly hair like she used to do with Nicky, even tho Nicky’s hair was long, and smooth, like Agatha’s. Rio looked away. She needed to stop thinking about it. At least for tonight. She could do it, really. She just had to.
Lilia hugged Agatha. And then, it was Rio’s turn. She stiffened a bit, automatically, like she always used to do with anyone who wasn’t Agatha.
“My favorite girls!” she said, squeezing Rio so tight she thought her eyes could spill out of her skull.
Agatha sat down on the couch and poured herself a drink, started talking with Alice and Jen, letting them update her on their journey. Jen was three months pregnant now, she had reached the mark. Agatha had cried out of joy when she had received the news, some weeks before, instantly hugging Jen. They had briefly dated in high school and then hated each other for a bit before becoming good friends. She knew how hard it had been, how hard they had been trying, for how long. Rio had smiled, and hugged them both, Jen and Alice, and felt genuinely happy for them, but at the same time, a familiar knot of pain had crept up in her throat, leaving her unable to speak. She had excused herself to the bathroom after some minutes, tried to recollect herself quickly.
Now Agatha was touching Jen’s belly, they were talking about possible names. Alice was definitely radiating happiness all over. Rio reached the table on the corner of the living room, poured wine into a glass, took it to her lips. Lilia approached her, squeezing her shoulder, softly.
“I’m happy you came. How are you doing?”
Rio’s gaze lowered. She felt fucking ashamed. Lilia could see through her. She knew she couldn’t stand to be in that room, watching Agatha, Jen and Alice talking about baby names, and everything. Billy, who apparently today was striving to be Rio’s guardian angel, hovered next to her, but when she saw Lilia was talking to her, he retreated to the couch next to Agatha, pulling out his phone. Rio noticed it, almost smiled to herself.
“I’m managing. How are you doing? Is being free from work really the cure to all evils?”
“Probably. I’m serious though. How are you?”
Rio swallowed. Lilia had always felt protective towards her, since Agatha had introduced them. She had also kinda helped her during her phd, not officially of course, cause she was from a totally different department, but had always tried to motivate and inspire her, help her clear out doubts, research doubts, life ones and so on. Being a mentor in general, like she had been to Agatha, literally. When she had a problem, Lilia was the person she went to to talk about it. When she had first broken up with Agatha during the first year of her phd program, Lilia was the first one she had vented to. Agatha is a bitch, Lilia had simply stated. But she loves you, she had added. Give her a week and she’ll come back, trust me. And so, Agatha did.
When Nicholas was born there were no doubts: Lilia had to be his godmother. Rio wasn’t catholic, didn’t believe in God. Her parents were pagans, at least that’s what she remembered. They had died when she was five. She couldn’t care less about her foster parents, she had changed a lot of them during the years, until she wasn’t underage anymore, finally not needing a foster family that could pretend to care about her. Marc and Layla had been the first real friends she had made, the first real resemblance of the concept of family.
Even now, they found a way to organize field work trips together, or hanging out once in a while when their incredibly busy schedules aligned.
Then Agatha came along, then Jen, Alice. Wanda, Vision (who got along with her cause he was a weirdo like her, plus they bonded over discussing their shared niche interests such as ancientart and geographical maps). That giant ass nerd. She missed him.
Rio had never thought about having a family of her own. She had discovered her sexuality kinda early, at fifteen. She had watched a movie on MTV and realized she was a lesbian and that was it. But interacting with other queer girls her age, for her, living in a small town filled with religious homophobes bigots, it was simply just impossible. Plus, she had always known she was different, and this had nothing to do with her sexuality. She could feel other people not really knowing what to do with her, and she was sure she lacked a framework of understanding social cues and interactions that her peers apparently had. She always had felt out of place, until Agatha came into her life.
Agatha had kind of an unapproachable vibe so it was strange, to realize that the only person she felt safe with was her. Her aura was intimidating as hell, but she felt instantly drawn to her, and apparently, Agatha had felt the same. She hadn’t been really great at deciphering it though. After their first interaction at that medieval art seminar, they had exchanged phone numbers, Agatha had asked for it, for research purposes, she had stated.
Marc had insisted she had ulterior motives, but Rio had shrugged. Which other ulterior motives could she ever have? It was clear that she was just trying to do some networking for her research.
A few days later, Agatha had started texting her. Rio felt a strange sense of adrenaline running through her body every single time a notification sound rang through her phone. What was that feeling? Then Agatha had started sending emojis she couldn’t understand the meaning of.
And then, she had asked her if she wanted to hang out with her at a pub downtown to discuss their research. At nine pm? To discuss her thesis on medieval architecture? Marc and Layla had raised their eyebrows, laughing at Rio’s painfully oblivious expression. Yes, guys, I’m telling you. She’s a research freak, she’s not interested in the slightest. So they had laughed again, and she had left to meet Agatha at that pub.
They had met outside of Agatha’s house. She looked different, her piercings shining in the moonlight. Rio’s breath faltered for a second. She realized, mortified, that she had a crush on her and she was going to get rejected. But then, something unexpected happened. Agatha took her to the pub and they didn’t talk about their research at all.
They just talked about them. As they headed back home, Agatha had stopped in her tracks turning towards Rio, saying: I still live with my mother. Oh, Rio had replied. There’s nothing bad with it, she had kept going. Agatha had looked at her strange. They kept walking. Rio felt weird. Why was Agatha suddenly silent? I mean, yes, it’s not strange at all but it wasn’t what I was meaning, Agatha said. Rio turned towards her. Agatha bit her lip. I was trying for you to invite me over but you’re not interested, I guess. Oh. Oh. Marc and Layla’s words echoed through Rio’s head. Agatha was flirting with her.
Agatha was interested. Just as she was. But of course Rio was too fucking dumb at reading tone and undertext to realize it. I am, she had blurted out. Her ears went red as peppers. Thank god it was dark on the street otherwise she would have buried herself alive for the shame she was feeling right now. Agatha’s eyes shined bright under the moonlight.
You are? Agatha asked, sounding like she almost wasn’t believing it. I am. I am very interested, actually Rio had nodded quickly. I’m sorry I’m just not that good at reading social clues she had managed to say, before Agatha had pressed her mouth on her with a voracity that had left her head spinning as they had stumbled upon the wall of a house, making out like two horny squirrels. Rio didn’t believe in god. But that night, she had thanked him for letting her meet Agatha Harkness.
Agatha wasn’t religious anymore, Evanora had ruined that for her. But Lilia was just… Lilia. It was nice for Nicky to have her as a godmother, that was it. Useless to say, he considered her as his grandma, since he had no relationship with Evanora when she was alive, due to her inability to accept Agatha’s life choices to the point they had severed her relationship so badly Agatha had been disowned and excluded from Evanora’s will when she announced she was expecting a child with Rio. Rio remembered that fight, clear as day.
Evanora had yelled at Agatha asking her to leave her house, telling her she was some sort of evil creature that didn’t even deserve to be born. Rio, who had always been somewhat of a quiet child growing up, felt a kind of rage she had never experienced before in her life, and she had stepped up between Agatha and her mother, shoving Evanora away from Agatha almost risking to let her slip and fall on the floor, warning her to never contact them again or else she would have killed her and burned her house to the ground. After that chivalrous act, that night Agatha had rewarded Rio with a lovemaking session so intense Rio thought she could ascend into another dimension and never come back.
“I’m fine Lilia. Seriously.” Rio reassured her, leaving the glass on the table.
Lilia looked like she was about to reply, but Rio didn’t give her the chance to. She quickly moved to the couch, sitting next to Agatha. Billy had moved to the other side, scrolling through his phone. Teenagers and their two minutes attention span. Agatha reached for Rio’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. Rio’s heart jolted. She wasn’t expecting it, at all.
Jen sipped through her glass of juice, kicking softly at Alice. Alice looked over Agatha and Rio and their intertwined hands. Her eyes widened.
“I knew it! I knew you guys were cooking something!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Agatha replied, casual. Rio, finally, smiled.
The night went on smoothly after that. Rio relaxed into Agatha’s touch, their hands never breaking contact for more than a few minutes. Always coming back to each other. Lilia looked very satisfied, and so did Alice and Jen, who tried their best not to freak out every time they witnessed a soft gesture from them. Billy grinned at the sight and mostly spent the night sipping wine and texting Eddie.
Some other guests arrived, some colleagues from Lilia’s department, some of her neighbours too. Ms Davis, the Kaplans, and some other weird people Rio had never seen before. By the time they greeted everyone and headed back home, Rio had sobered out enough to offer herself to drive. Billy had drunk a bit of Lilia’s wine and looked slightly tipsy, so he accepted Rio’s offer without a second thought. Agatha helped him enter the backseat and once inside, Billy rested his head onto Agatha’s shoulder closing his eyes almost immediately. Rio looked at them through the rearview mirror and smiled to herself. Agatha’s eyes met hers, they silently exchanged a soft look. As she parked on the driveway in front of Agatha’s house, their house, Agatha woke him up.
“Come on kid, time to go to bed.” she softly patted his shoulder.
“I’m not a child.” he whined, but didn’t stop Agatha from helping him get out of the car and escort him upstairs to his room. In the meantime, Rio waited on the hallway, petting Scratchy’s head. Trying not to think of what was coming next.
Once Agatha came downstairs again, she found Rio knelt on the floor, petting Scratchy.
“He blacked out instantly.” Agatha said.
“I figured.” Rio left Scratchy free to hop around, and stood up.
Agatha bit her lower lip. All the things she wanted to say, no ability to voice them apparently. She had been replaying in her head all the stuff she actually wanted to tell Rio during their ride home, looking at Rio’s hands on the wheel, realizing she wanted to ask her to…
“I’m gonna go then.” Rio blurted out.
Agatha blinked. This was the reaction she always caused in people. Them not being able to tolerate her antics anymore. Them starting to resent her. Them eventually leaving.
But Rio? Rio leaving simply wasn’t an option she could consider anymore. She had tried to push her away, yes. She had tried with all she could, to hate her. To despise her, with all her soul, and maybe at some point, maybe she had almost succeeded. But now, looking at her ex wife, she couldn’t feel any of those harrowing emotions she had felt in the course of the past two years.
Rio didn’t look like she wanted to give her time to react, cause she grabbed her car keys and moved toward the door. Agatha’s voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Stay.”
Rio slowly turned around. Are you sure? She wanted to ask. Hell, she wanted to scream. Was this really what Agatha wanted? She was unpredictable, like a wildfire. She didn’t know if she should have trusted her again, but this was the truth: Rio couldn’t help it. Trusting Agatha came as second nature to her. It was an instinct, impossible to fight. Impossible to run from it. Agatha’s calling was like the one of a siren, and Rio was a drunken sailor forever enraptured in her spell. Maybe she had spent so many years studying the concept of afterlife, that she was starting to miss out on the present moment. The only thing that mattered. Rio felt her vision getting blurry with tears she refused to let go.
Agatha moved closer, their hands met again.
“Stay. Please.” Agatha repeated. Rio bit her lower lip.
“One day at a time?” she asked, finding her voice again.
“I think we can manage.” Agatha replied, slowly smiling back. “One day at a time.”