Archive of Our Own

If Big could sweat, he would be absolutely drenched right now. There aren’t many things that phase him in life. Big’s used to living under high pressure, dealing with guns and idiots thinking they can take him down. His everyday life consists of putting his life on the line for Kinn Theerapanyakul, the leader of the Theerapanyakul clan and the biggest mafia family in all of Thailand. Big has been stabbed, shot at and pushed into the sun once. That’s where the massive burn scar on his calf comes from. And despite all of that, there’s this one thing that still makes him rigid with panic. Feeding.

Right this very moment, Big is facing his biggest fear, standing in front of the back entrance of Ruby. It’s owned by the Theerapanyakuls, one of their most legitimate businesses. Kinn wanted to create a place for vampires to feel comfortable in and feed without the government breathing down everyone’s necks. The club is run by the law, no criminal activity is allowed and anyone who attempts to mess with this place gets punished. The club isn’t as profitable as it could be, but Kinn always says this place wasn’t created for profits. One of the few things he stood up to his father for. And Big’s supposed to go there, choose a tasty looking human that's eager to be fed on and fill his belly with warm blood so he can stop being damn useless. Big knows his focus in the last days wasn’t what it should be, putting Kinn’s safety in jeopardy. His hands started to shake five days ago, the emptiness in his stomach clawing at his insides, demanding he feed, but Big is good at ignoring it. Ignoring the needs of his own body just so he doesn’t have to sink his fangs into soft, inviting flesh and gulp down the blood. The thought alone makes panic hit him, making him stumble a step back. Big usually drinks from blood bags he steals from hospitals or buys at the black market. It’s getting harder and harder to access it with all the law regulations and more and more clubs like Ruby opening up. Big wasn’t fast enough this time. He let Kinn notice he should feed, and now he’s being punished. Kinn may think he’s doing him a favor, but Big would rather do some nasty job for the man than to be here right now.

“Big,” says Raffe with surprise, opening the back door and walking out into the alley. “Hey. You going in?”

Big blinks at the bodyguard, noticing he’s in regular jeans and a t-shirt, meaning he just ended his shift and is probably going home. Big resists the urge to flee and juts his chin out. Sheer stubbornness and knowing Kinn will really carry out his threat of putting him in a room with bleeding humans are the only things keeping him here.

“Hey,” is all he says, voice calm and emotionless. He’s mastered the act over the years of working for the clan as a bodyguard.

“You here to feed?” Raffe asks, opening the door further and waiting for Big to get inside. “The club is full. You’ll find someone for yourself.”

Big just walks through, nodding his head at Raffe. When the door closes behind him, he feels like someone just put him back in the cage he escaped from years ago. Big shakes his head, trying to get rid of the sudden onslaught of memories, and continues down the corridor. He just has to drink enough not to get Kinn suspicious and he can get the hell out of here. He will steal some blood from the hospital later this week.

The club is a cacophony of smells and noises, full to the brim. Raffe wasn’t lying that it will be easy to pick someone.

Big chooses to stand to the side, observing his surroundings and trying to trick his own brain into wanting to feed from a human. The blood will taste delicious, he knows it. It’s been long months since he drank from the source and the first seconds are always the hardest. Once the instincts take over, Big’s head gets blissfully empty.

When over half an hour passes and Big’s just standing there, prolonging the inevitable, he pushes himself from the wall he was leaning on and walks over to the short brunette on his right. He’s been watching her for the last ten minutes, noticing how unsure she is, how timid. It’s clear it’s her first time here and judging by the ratty clothes she’s wearing, she’s here for the money. Good. She won’t try to flirt with him or get something more out of this. It will be a pure transaction. Big just hopes he’s strong enough to stop feeding at the right moment. The last guy he drank from almost passed out from blood loss.

“Good evening,” Big says to the woman, her head whipping in his direction so fast it had to hurt.

“Um, hi,” she says, wringing her hands out.

“Are you interested in feeding me?” Big asks. He doesn’t have the mind to flirt and make her feel special. He wants to be out of here.

“Umm,” she mumbles again, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I’m assuming you came here to get money for your blood?” Big questions, staring at her.

“Yes,” she replies, nodding her head.

“Okay. Then do you want to feed me?”

“Yes?” she asks, making it sound like it’s a question.

Good enough for him. Big grabs her hand and starts pulling her through the crowd towards the employees only entrance. The hand that isn’t clutching her wrist is shaking so badly Big wants to cut it off so it stops. Stupid body and stupid fucking needs. Big clenches his teeth, feeling his throat close up at the thought of swallowing blood. This is going to be a disaster.

When they are in the secluded part near the entrance, further away from the crowd, but still among people, he releases her. Big doesn’t want to scare her or make it painful for her. He just can’t control himself right now and he needs to be near a place he can escape to if things go south.

The woman looks like she’s in a trance, watching him unblinkingly. Big can see the vein in her neck pulsing wildly to the rhythm of her heart pumping.

“What now?” She finally asks, when Big just stands there and stares at her like a creep.

Big clenches his fists, pushing them behind his body. He resists the urge to grab his own hair and tug at them till they fall out.

“Now I will feed,” he replies, trying to send her a reassuring smile, but judging by the step back she takes, it doesn’t work.

“Neck or… or…?” She stutters out.

“Wrist,” he barks out and sighs in frustration, clenching his eyes shut for a second. “I’m sorry. No neck. I don’t… I can’t…”

He doesn’t know what she sees, but whatever shows on his face, it makes her brows furrow as she steps back closer.

“Are you okay?” She asks softly, touching his arm gently.

“Yes,” he assures her, even though it’s a lie. Nothing is fucking okay. “I’ll try to be quick.”

She nods and pushes her wrist out towards him. The woman is clearly too trusting for her own good. Her wrist is so dainty Big could break it with a snap of his teeth. He’s grateful to her that she didn’t run away screaming, so he takes her forearm gently in his hands, unable to do anything about the fact they’re shaking. Big swallows painfully, his throat so tight the saliva barely passes through. His body is in agony because he’s hungry and his mind is in agony because he has to feed.

Big brings the wrist to his face, knowing he should warn her about how she’s going to feel once he bites her, but he can’t focus. Big’s breathing deeply through his mouth, opening his mouth and exposing his teeth, fangs popping out. He can feel the pulse thrumming under his fingers, he can hear how the woman takes a sharp breath and trembles slightly. Big clenches his eyes shut and puts the fangs to the warm skin and hopes instinct will do the rest. He waits a few seconds and when nothing happens, he growls loudly with frustration. They’re both shaking in fear now. What a fucking mess.

“I can’t,” Big gasps, pushing her wrist away. He stumbles back, chest heaving. When the woman just stands there in shock, he snaps at her, “fucking go.”

It makes her move, pivoting on her heel and running right into the crowd. He hopes she doesn’t complain to anyone, because he doesn’t want to tarnish the reputation of Kinn’s club. Big feels like a fucking failure, fist connecting with the unforgiving wall. It makes pain slice through his hand, bringing focus back to him.

There’s a sudden whoosh of air and a second later Big’s pointing his gun at the chest of the intruder.

“Whoa,” the guy says, but he doesn’t look afraid. Bullets can’t kill a vampire, but they hurt like a bitch. “Easy there, pretty.”

The endearment makes Big blink, throwing him off guard. His hand is throbbing, clenched tightly around the gun. The vampire in front of him seems familiar. Big looks him up and down, taking in his tall form and broad shoulders. The full, almost pouty lips, big brown eyes and strong jawline. The angular shape of his face contrasts with his lips and the look in his eyes, curious and kind.

“What do you want?” Big asks him, already on edge without being cornered by another vampire.

“I couldn’t help but observe you since you walked inside the club,” the man explains, hands lazily raised to show he’s unarmed. Not that a vampire needs a weapon to be dangerous.

“And?” Big snaps, trying not to get distracted by those plush lips. He needs to chill, but he can’t. He has to feed, but he can’t feed because he’s fucked in the head.

“And you seem to have a little problem,” the man explains. “You’re Big, right?”

Big narrows his eyes at him. The only people that know his name are usually connected with the Theerapanyakuls.

“What do you want?” Big repeats, not lowering his gun. He’s slowly getting dizzy. It’s been way too long since he fed and he’s surrounded by humans. The odors are potent in the air. The predator in him is aware he’s close to a source of food and yet the fucker didn’t help him feed.

“I’m Sun Pakin Wong,” the vampire tells him, making dread settle in the pit of Big’s stomach. That’s why the guy seemed familiar. Maybe if Big’s head didn’t feel like scrambled eggs, he would sooner connect the dots. The leader of the second biggest clan in Bangkok. And Big is pointing a gun at him.

“Khun Sun,” Big says, lowering his eyes in a show of respect. What a bloody mess. Offending a leader of a clan is one of the stupidest things he’s ever done. “Forgive me.”

Big twitches when Sun’s hand pushes his weapon down, lowering it so it’s facing the ground and not pointed directly at his unbeating heart.

“I have nothing to forgive,” Sun tells him, nudging Big’s chin with his finger. “As I said before, I couldn’t help but notice your little problem.”

“My problem?” Big echoes.

“You’re clearly starving,” Sun pointed out unapologetically. “And yet you didn’t bite that human just now.”

If Big could be flushing, he would be pink in the face. He feels like someone just pointed out his erectile dysfunction or something. What kind of vampire can’t bite a human? Not to mention Big does have problems with erections. If he’s not feeding, there’s nothing that can rush to his cock. He doesn't remember the last time he jacked off or felt the urge to do so.

“I…” Big stammers, trying to come up with an answer. He doesn’t have to explain himself, but something in Sun makes his damn mouth open without his permission. “No, I couldn’t.”

“I can help with that,” Sun tells him, his large hand grabbing a piece of loose hair tickling Big’s cheek and pushes it behind his ear. “Come on, pretty. It’s dangerous to be in this state. You shouldn’t have let yourself get to this point.”

Big swallows, throat clicking with how dry it is.

“How can you help?” Big asks, confused and overwhelmed.

“I’ll feed you, of course.” Sun replies like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s not.

Big’s pretty sure he’s gawking at him in the most unattractive way possible, but he can’t help it. Vampire feeding a vampire is taboo. It’s simply not done. To feed another vampire is a form of punishment, a humiliation and Sun is offering it like it's nothing. Big’s not even going to touch on the fact that Sun is much higher in the vampire hierarchy than he is.

“What?” He blurts out.

“Is there somewhere private we can go?” Sun asks him, wrapping his hand around Big’s wrist. It’s the hand that’s holding the gun, throbbing with pain after he punched a wall. Sun takes the gun out of his hand and stuffs it in his own pants, releasing him just for a second. It’s a testament to how out of it Big really is, because normally he wouldn’t let anyone touch his weapon. “I’ll give it back later.”

“The manager’s office,” Big answers his question, wondering when he lost control of the situation.

“Lead the way,” Sun says, waving his hand in a wide motion.

Big opens the employees’ door with a code, dragging Sun with him and wondering what the hell he’s even doing. They walk through the long corridor, thankfully not passing anyone, before they arrive at the manager’s office. Dao looks up when Big barges in, eyebrows shooting in surprise when he sees who’s behind Big, before he quickly stands up.

“Khun Sun,” he says, bowing his head. “Big.”

“I’ll need your office for some time,” Big tells him, scrambling for control over his voice. He can’t let him find out what he’s going to be using the office for. “I’ll find you once we’re done talking.”

“Of course.” Dao is a smart man. He knows what Big does for Kinn and would never question him. Without asking further questions, he walks out, closing the door behind himself.

Big’s shoulders sag, the interaction taking more of his energy than it should. He can’t remember if he has ever let himself get to such a pathetic state.

“Relax, pretty,” Sun tells him, cupping Big’s cheek in his large palm. He forces them to have eye contact, staring deeply into Big’s eyes. “Do you understand what I’m offering?”

“Yeah,” Big breathes out, his fangs popping out. Now that they're in an enclosed space and far away from distractions, he can smell Sun. The perfume he’s wearing is subtle, his natural smell much more potent to Big’s sensitive nose. Sun smells good. Absolutely delicious. Big never entertained the idea of biting another vampire, but being in this situation now, it’s not as panic inducing as biting a human. The lack of pumping heart and thrumming veins calms him down. He doesn’t feel out of control, his instinct dormant. “But why?”

The corner of Sun’s mouth ticks up in a half smile as he rubs his thumb over Big’s lips, before tugging the upper one and exposing Big’s fangs.

“Impressive,” he compliments him, looking at the fangs with burning eyes. He’s utterly focused on them, almost hypnotised. “Come on.”

“You didn’t answer me,” Big protests, thoughts a jumbled mess. Sun releases his upper lip as the man moves away, walking further into the office.

“Let’s leave this conversation for another time,” Sun tells him, looking at Big with an intense, burning gaze. The man isn’t as unaffected as he was before. He sits down in the office chair, pushing away from the desk, leaving room for Big to get between his spread legs. “Kneel for me.”

Big’s on his knees before his brain can catch up with the situation. He just needs the clawing hunger in his stomach to go away. He wants to feel like himself again.

“Take as much as you need,” Sun tells him, rolling a sleeve up his thick forearm. The veins there are prominent under the skin, making Big’s insides twist.

Big can’t take his eyes away from the thick vein running up from the wrist halfway up Sun’s forearm. Then Sun turns his hand and shows off his wrist, the skin smooth. A perfect spot to bite on.

“Go on,” Sun encourages him, pushing his hand closer to Big’s mouth. There’s tension in his voice that wasn’t here before, his other hand tightly clenched into a fist on his leg. “Big.”

The commanding way Sun says Big’s name makes him open his mouth wide and put his teeth at Sun’s wrist, right where the veins run under the skin. The vampire must have fed pretty recently, his body still warm and full of blood. Before Big can overthink this, he clenches his teeth on the skin, cutting through it with ease. Sun twitches, just once, before he relaxes back into the chair.

“Good,” he praises, voice thick. “Now drink my blood, baby.”

Big moans low in his throat, retracting his fangs before he wraps his lips around the puncture wounds and sucks. The taste of blood bursts on his tongue, coating his taste buds. He swallows greedily, the liquid soothing his aching throat. Big sucks again and again, in a frenzy to drink as much as he can. He’s ravenous. Starving.

“Yes,” Sun hisses, sounding weird and choked up. Big can’t focus on it though, too busy swallowing a mouthful after a mouthful. “So good.”

When the first thirst passes, suddenly Big’s body awakens, demanding he take care of every aspect of it he neglected. His cock rapidly grows in his pants, wanting his attention. He growls, frantically opening his pants and stuffing a hand down his pants. He doesn’t care about anything else other than coming and feeding. There’s a moment where Sun goes almost rigid, making Big let out a confused sound, but it passes quickly when the man puts a hand on his head, encouraging him to feed more. It’s slower now, Big able to savor the delicious taste of blood. He works his cock, pumping his fist in the confines of his pants. His hair gets loose when Sun tucks at the elastic band holding it together, his large, warm hand sneaking in them and tugging at the strands.

“Oh,” Big moans out, hips pushing forward. He’s ready to come. He has to come. “Mm.”

“Bite me one more time,” Sun demands and Big just now notices that the wounds he made are almost closed up. The blood is barely trickling out.

Big doesn’t question it and bites down, something primitive in his brain flaring up. That’s what his fangs are for, breaking through soft flesh so he can drink. So he can survive.

Sun grunts loudly, hips bucking up as Big squeezes his cock right at the tip, pushing himself over the edge. It’s such a turn on that Sun’s getting off on this as well. Big shakes all over, cock shooting in his pants and coating his hand in semen. It takes him a moment to realise the growly moans belong to him and that he’s shaking all over, panting into Sun’s wrist as the blood runs over to the side. Big looks up at Sun, opening his eyes for the first time since he bit down and he can’t believe how absolutely animalistic Sun looks. Gone are the soft and kind eyes, instead he’s looking at Sun’s blown out pupils, fangs fully exposed and intense expression on his face. Sun looks like he just took a bunch of drugs. Or like he wants to ravish Big. Big pulls away, sitting on his heels and enjoying how satiated he feels. Everything around him is sharper, more focused. He feels alive again.

“Clean up,” Sun commands, showing his bloody wrist. The blood has made a mess, running all over his forearm now that Big wasn’t sucking it down.

A shiver runs down Big’s spine as he leans forward, grabs Sun’s arm with both hands and brings it to his mouth. The hand he used to jack himself off with is covered in cum, making him feel perverted. He keeps eye contact with Sun the whole time he licks the blood clean. A lick after delicious lick, enjoying the decadent taste of the blood. He can now appreciate how different it tastes to human blood. It still has this distinct metallic aftertaste, but there’s something else in there. Like it was in the process of nourishing Sun’s body, some of it was already absorbed.

Big smacks his lips when he's done with the last drop, noting how Sun’s eyes move towards his mouth.

“Good?” Sun asks him hoarsely. “Did my blood make you feel full, pretty?”

“Yes,” Big whispers, reality hitting him full force. He just fed on another vampire, coming from jacking off on his knees. Absolute insanity. And he’s feeling better than ever.

“There’s no need to overthink this,” Sun tells him, adjusting his hips subtly, and Big realises just now that Sun was hard this whole time. The vampire hasn’t even touched himself once. When Sun notices him staring at his reaction, he sends Big a smile. It relaxes his face, making the sharpness and hyper focus disappear. “Don’t worry about it.”

This is one of the most surreal situations Big has ever been in. He awkwardly stands up, wincing at the unpleasantly sticky mess in his underwear, and quickly buttons up his pants. There’s no tissue in sight or anything that he could use to clean his hand with, so he settles on wiping in on his pants. Big doesn’t plan to linger here for long enough for anyone to notice his state. He’s going to run as fast as he can throughout the compound as well. The ridicule that would come from the guys for weeks would make him murderous and he would have to stoop to unpleasant ways to make them pay.

“Thank you,” he says hesitantly. With a completely clear mind, the seriousness of what just happened hits him full force. He fed from another vampire, a leader of a large, respected clan.

“You’re most welcome, pretty,” Sun tells him, not bothered in the least. He stands up to his full height, making it feel like he’s towering over Big even though he’s barely a half head taller than him. It’s his broad frame that gives that impression. “Give me a call if you ever need me again.”

“No,” Big blurts out, running a hand through his loose hair. “I mean, thank you for the offer, but that won’t be necessary.”

Sun cocks his head to the side like a damn dog, curious eyes tracking Big’s every expression.

“Didn’t you like it?” He asks, voice lowering slightly. Sun reaches Big's hair and plays with a strand of it, twisting it between his fingers. Big just stands there and lets it happen. He must have gone insane from starving himself. Maybe that’s just a figment of his imagination and in reality, he’s lying on the floor of the club? “You didn’t seem to have the same problem with me that you had when you tried drinking blood from that woman.”

Big’s eyebrows furrow, remembering how safe it made him feel that Sun’s blood wasn’t rushing through his veins, that it wasn’t pumped frantically by his heart. It just was there, waiting for Big to make the decision instead of clouding his judgement and luring him in, letting his instinct take over.

“It was different,” he admits, squaring his shoulders and avoiding eye contact. He doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn't want to explain why it was different. “I should go. Thank you for your gift.”

But before he can even take a step back, Sun grabs his shoulder, releasing the strand of Big’s hair he was still playing with.

“What if I asked you to go on a date with me?” Sun asks, completely shocking him. It makes Big look him in the eyes, his own widening. He doesn’t remember anyone ever asking him on a date. “Would you want to?”

Big noticed that Sun was handsome the second he set eyes on him, when he wasn’t fully himself. His looks aren’t the problem, nor is the lack of interest on Big’s part. The vampire seems kind and exciting in a way that makes Big’s stomach twist. He both wants to get closer to him and get as far away as he can. Sun unnerves him with his straightforwardness, the unashamed approach to feeding him.

“It doesn’t matter if I want to or not,” he finally answers, removing Sun’s hand from his shoulder and taking a step back. He doesn’t let his touch linger. He has to get the fuck out of Sun’s orbit. Anything between them would be impossible anyway, not with Sun being from a different clan and so much of Big’s life committed to protecting Kinn. “If I can ever repay you for your gift, let me know.”

Sun’s eyes light up, a mischievous glint showing up in them.

“Oh, be sure I’ll cash up on that favor, pretty,” the vampire tells him, showing his pearly white, sharp teeth. He even lets his fangs pop out. Sun pulls Big’s gun from behind his back and hands it over wordlessly.

Big swallows heavily, stomach swooping as he takes the weapon, the weight of it familiar and comforting.

“Bye,” he whispers, before he all but runs the hell out of that room.

He runs as fast as he can, hoping to outrun the chaos in his head and forget about the decadent taste of Sun’s blood in his mouth.

***

Turns out outrunning problems is impossible. Big’s head is filled with Sun’s taste and smell. Whenever he closes his eyes, he can see Sun’s intense gaze the moment he stopped feeding from him. And to make matters worse, Khun Kinn demanded the other vampire’s number. It was so surprising. Big felt like Kinn hit him on the head with something heavy. He even let himself question Kinn, something that has never happened before. And now here Big is, staring at the scrap of paper with Sun’s number on it. When he ordered Arm to get the number for Kinn, on a whim, he made a copy of it for himself. He doesn’t even have a damn phone, and he still stuffed that piece of paper into the pocket of his pants. Big is an idiot.

“Fucking fuck,” he mutters to himself, angrily pushing the paper under his pillow, before he springs up to his feet. It’s been a few days of staring at the digits now.

It’s Tuesday, his free day. Big can technically do whatever he pleases, but he never really used the opportunity to go out. He doesn’t have anyone he would like to see outside the compound. He’s all alone. There are no living relatives alive. He has no friends outside work. It should make him pathetic, but Big likes it like that. He likes to be close to Kinn, to always protect him. The vampire offered Big new life back when he was just a rabid dog on the streets. Big still remembers the moment he was cornered by Kinn and his men. He just killed a human, unable to control himself, his head a complete mess, when suddenly he was surrounded by seven other vampires. Kinn personally pushed him against a wall, not bothered in the least by Big snarling and snapping his teeth at him. Big still gets embarrassed about how primal he behaved back then. He even swiped at Kinn and made a cut on his cheek. One of the guys immediately wanted to kill him for it, but Kinn just shook his head, forced eye contact with Big and started talking.

And now it’s been almost twenty years with him being Kinn’s shadow, and Big wouldn’t change a thing. He even had an episode when he thought he was deeply and madly in love with his boss. For the two years Big was in training, doing his best to learn how to protect Kinn and not get himself killed in the process, how to not let the predator in him win. He thought Kinn would just let him be, wait for him to get good before he took any interest in him, but the vampire kept visiting him during training. He even sparred with Big. It was hard to keep his feelings in check, when all he saw in Kinn was his savior and the most handsome man he ever laid eyes on. Big thought the world ended when Kinn started seeing Tawan, a vampire he met at some gala he was forced to attend in his father’s name. Big’s still proud of himself for not killing him the first time he saw them kiss. He did kill him when Tawan betrayed Kinn, sold his information to the Italian mafia that tried taking roots in Bangkok. That’s how he got the nasty, burnt scar on his leg. Tawan prepared a trap, conspiring to push Kinn into the sun. Years passed since then and Big’s attraction to Kinn passed, but the loyalty remained. The blind puppy love turned into deep respect. He would never call them friends. He knows Kinn likes to keep himself separate from the bodyguards in the clan. But still, Kinn is probably the closest person he has in his life. The only one he would ever protect with his own body.

Big twitches when someone knocks on his door. He’s still standing in front of his bed, staring daggers at the pillow he just stuffed Sun’s number under.

“What?” He asks, sounding as grumpy as he’s feeling. It’s been three weeks since he last saw Sun. Three fucking weeks of constantly thinking about how it felt to bite into the vampire’s wrist and drink his blood. How it went straight to his cock and how good it felt to come. Drinking blood from a cup became even a bigger hustle than before.

“Someone’s waiting downstairs for you,” says Arm, poking his head in the doorframe of Big’s room.

“What?!” Big asks stupidly again. He doesn’t have visitors. Ever. “Who?”

Arm’s eyes are shining with curiosity as he observes Big’s reactions.

“Sun Pakin Wong,” Arm tells him, keen eyes taking in every detail of Big’s face.

Face that’s currently frozen in shock. Sun is here? Is he out of his damn mind?

Big doesn’t wait a moment longer, moving in vampire speed to open the door fully and move past Arm. Vampires don’t really use super speed on a day-to-day basis. They have nothing to rush for with how little they sleep and how much longer they live than humans, preferring to match their tempo to the mortals. But now? Big’s rushing through the corridor as fast as he can, knowing his heart would be pounding if it could. He doesn’t even think when he jumps from the fifth floor he’s on, landing in a crouch in the foyer. Taking the elevator would take too long.

He straightens up and instantly locks his eyes on Sun, who’s sitting comfortably in the foyer, surrounded by Ken, Pong and Tiny. Sun doesn’t look worried by being cornered. He’s simply typing something on his phone, completely relaxed.

“Big,” he says, standing up, when Big approaches them, this time using normal speed.

“Khun Sun said he’s here to see you,” Ken explains, looking suspicious. Not that Big blames him. It’s weird that a leader of a clan showed up at the compound to talk to him and not Kinn. “Should we notify Khun Kinn?”

“Kinn knows I’m here,” Sun says, sounding like he’s repeating himself.

“Khun Kinn is busy,” Big tells them, knowing that Kinn’s currently on an international call with their shareholders in the US. “I got this from here.”

Pong looks like he wants to argue, but one sharp look from Big and he snaps his damn mouth shut. He knows not to get on Big’s bad side. Big is Kinn’s head bodyguard, holding much more power than a mere bodyguard. Especially a new one like Pong.

He waits for the guys to turn around and get back to their jobs, but he knows he’s not going to talk to Sun within anyone’s earshot. Seeing him for the first time in three weeks is quite a shock. Sun looks even better than he remembers, wearing a dark polo and slacks, smart shoes and an expensive watch on his wrist. The vampire is a multimillionaire and all of his money comes from legal sources. As far as Big knows.

“What are you doing here?” Big hisses at him in a hushed voice.

“I came to take you out on a date, pretty,” Sun explains, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“I told you it’s…” Big starts but Sun waves a hand, dismissing him mid sentence.

“It’s your free day, is it not?” Sun questions, taking a quick look at his phone when the screen lights up, before pocketing it. “Go out with me.”

“How do you know it’s my free day?” Big asks suspiciously, stomach twisting.

“I asked Kinn, obviously,” Sun explains like it’s no big deal.

“You told him about us?” Big gapes at him, heart plummeting to his stomach.

Sun cocks his head, amusement shining in his eyes.

“About us?” He echoes and licks his lips. “I like the sound of that.”

“You’re fucking impossible,” Big mutters, looking around and notices that the guys around are watching them with open curiosity. “We have to get out of here.”

“Well, yes. That’s what I’ve been proposing this whole time.” Sun waves his hand at the entrance in a ‘you first’ gesture.

Big bites the inside of his cheek, panic making his muscles lock up into stone. He just walks out of the compound, immediately noticing Sun’s flashy car parked right at the entrance. It’s a black Bugatti that normally Big would take some interest in, but right now he can’t focus on anything other than Kinn, his fucking boss, knowing what he did with Sun.

Sun opens the door for Big, looking very satisfied with himself. Big balls his fists and gets in the damn car, buckling the seat belt angrily so he can do something with his hands. Otherwise he will smack Sun upside the head.

“Don’t look so gloomy,” Sun says, getting inside and starting the engine. It roars to life, purring right under Big’s ass. He starts driving like he’s afraid Big will get out if he doesn’t. “I didn’t tell Kinn what we did.”

Big’s head snaps in his direction as Sun looks straight ahead, swiftly joining the traffic. The sun had gone down an hour or so ago, leaving them plenty of time to drive around.

“Then why didn’t you say so?” Big asks incredulously, nerves instantly calming down.

“Well, you didn’t let me explain,” Sun answers, but he’s clearly having fun with the situation. “And before you ask any further questions, Kinn called in for a favor and offered me one in exchange.”

“Kinn Theerapanyakul offered you a favor and you what? Asked him for permission to come to the compound?” Big can’t wrap his mind around it. Sun must be clearly an idiot if he didn’t use it for something else.

“I basically asked him if he would be opposed to us dating,” Sun explains, not taking offence at Big’s tone. “He didn’t say yes or no, just told me that Tuesdays are your days off and I took it as encouragement.”

Big gapes at him, wondering if Sun is right in the head. Deep down he’s flattered, because no one has ever gone through that effort to see him, but on the other hand, Sun wasted a favor from Kinn on asking permission to see Big. What a waste.

“I don’t even know what to tell you,” Big mumbles, running a hand over his face.

“I figured you were hesitant to see me again because I’m from a different clan and you’re Kinn’s bodyguard,” Sun says, stopping at the red light and looking at Big. “Was I wrong?”

“Yes and no,” Big answers, looking outside the window. “What happened between us…”

“Is our business only,” Sun finishes for him, reaching out and squeezing Big’s knee as he starts driving again. “Honestly, Big. You’re thinking too much. I fed you and we both enjoyed it. What’s there to think about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Big snaps sarcastically, losing his temper. Sun has been on his mind for the last three weeks, the tension building and building and now it can finally be released. “Maybe the fact that I drank blood from another vampire? And came on my fucking knees like a bitch in heat? I drank blood from a vampire. It’s worth a mention.”

Sun’s eyebrows go up, but the corners of his mouth twitch like he’s holding in a smile and Big wants to punch him. Or kiss him. Maybe bite him. Anything to get rid of the restless energy that’s building up.

“You clearly have a lot to say,” Sun comments, sparing Big a quick glance. “You’re focusing on the wrong things, though.”

“Yeah?” Big mutters, voice heavy with sarcasm.

“Why is biting another vampire a taboo?” Sun questions him.

“It’s used as a form of punishment,” Big states the obvious. “Something to make a vampire look weak.”

“Do I look weak to you?” The man asks, parking the car in an underground garage. He puts his undivided attention on Big now, warm brown eyes pinning him in place. “I was the one that was supposed to feel humiliated, not you. And yet, I fully consented to this and I haven’t felt anything close to that. I enjoyed you biting me, Big. I have stripped my cock raw thinking of your fangs piercing my skin and I want to do it again and again.”

Big just gapes at him, squirming in his seat. Sun is absolutely shameless, talking about it like they haven’t done anything wrong. Big isn’t a stranger to doing taboo things. He has done his fair share of crimes for the Theerapanyakul family and he has no idea why he’s obsessing over this so badly.

“Come on,” Sun says, getting out of the car and appearing on Big’s side a second later. He opens the door for him. “Let’s go inside where we can talk.”

“What is this place?” Big asks, looking around.

“My apartment,” Sun explains. “Sometimes I need to spend some time alone or I need to hide somewhere before the sun rises.”

Big nods, because Sun’s clan’s house is on the outskirts of the city. A huge residency, surrounded by acres of land.

They ride the elevator right to the top and walk straight out into an apartment. It’s a typical, modern looking space that’s not very homey. Big doesn’t see anything personal lying around that would tell him more about the owner of this place. It’s clear Sun doesn’t spend much time here.

“What now?” He asks, leaning against the kitchen island. It’s black marble, shining and spotless.

“Do you still need to talk more about the biting thing?” Sun asks him, standing so close to him, they’re almost touching.

“You say it like I’m being unreasonable,” Big protests, narrowing his eyes at Sun. “It’s a huge fucking deal.”

“Yeah, in your head,” Sun tells him, getting serious as well. He reaches out and runs his knuckles over Big’s cheek. “It’s between you and me. We don’t have to inform anyone about what we do. And believe me, when I say we aren’t the only ones.”

“You know other vampires that like to feed each other?” Big asks in disbelief.

“There’s a whole category dedicated to it on porn sites,” Sun says with amusement. “Surely you have seen it.”

“I don’t watch porn,” Big informs him, because he really doesn’t. They aren’t allowed personal phones or computers, and he’s not going to indulge in porn on a computer anyone has access to.

“Oh,” Sun breathes out, grabbing a strand of Big’s hair and running it between his fingers. He seems to have a thing for Big’s hair. “Well, I can show you if you want.”

“There’s no need,” Big protests. “I believe you.”

Sun nods, gazing deep into Big’s eyes like he’s looking for something. Big both loves and hates that he has to tip his chin a little to look him in the eyes.

“Did you enjoy it?” Sun asks him, finally looking away from Sun’s eyes, this time focusing on his lips. “Did you like biting me? Drinking my blood?”

Big stills, knowing that if he admits to loving it out loud, he’s going to put something dangerous in motion. He licks over his bottom lip, trying to carefully choose his words.

“It was… different,” he settles on, something in his mind calling him a liar the second those words leave his lips.

“Good different?” Sun whispers, voice going husky. Good lord, it’s like he’s putting some spell over Big because he leans forward, wanting to be as close to the other vampire as possible.

“You know it was,” Big admits, closing his eyes in defeat. It was the best feeding he ever had. Nothing can compare to how safe and in control he felt. Feeding from humans is like drowning, waiting for someone to grab him and bring him to the surface. Feeding from Sun was like floating on his back, carried by a gentle wave. “Doesn’t mean we should do it again.”

“Mhm,” Sun hums like he chose to completely ignore whatever comes out of Big’s mouth. “Let’s focus on something else for now, shall we? I’d like to get to know you better.”

Big opens his mouth and closes it a second later, not knowing what to say to that. He was pretty sure Sun would insist on feeding him, a part of him wanted Sun to force the issue. Big pushes the flicker of disappointment deep down.

“What about me?” He finally stammers out, all too aware of Sun’s close presence to him. The man’s hand now sneaks his way down to Big’s throat. He starts rubbing his thumb over Big’s Adam's apple.

“How old are you?” Sun asks easily, tone light. “You don’t look very old.”

“I was changed when I was twenty-six,” Big admits. Being a changed vampire is different from being a born one. Born vampires grow till they reach maturity and changed vampires look the age they were changed at until they die. Usually about three hundred years if something doesn’t kill them along the way.

The corner of Sun’s mouth twitches, before he asks, “How long have you been twenty-six?”

Big instantly squints his eyes, taking a step back because having Sun constantly touch him is messing with his head.

“Did you just Twilight quote me?” He asks in disbelief.

Sun laughs joyfully.

“I wasn’t sure you would get the reference,” he says, moving over to the velvet, black couches in the middle of the living room. He pats the place next to himself, inviting Big to do the same.

“Of course I caught the reference,” Big tells him, rolling his eyes as he walks over and sits down, leaving some room between them. “Khun Tankhun once organized a movie marathon that lasted over two days. Attendance was mandatory. We watched movies about vampires, including the Twilight saga, Dracula and Underworld. Khun Kim had to threaten Elizabeth and Sebastian so Khun would release us.”

“Who are Elizabeth and Sebastian?”

“Khun’s precious fish,” Big answers, despite himself feeling amusement. It felt like hell to sit through all of those movies and listen to Khun’s commentary, but now it seems almost funny when he thinks about it. Over ten years have passed now. “We’re currently at Elizabeth and Sebastian VI, if I’m not mistaken.”

Sun chuckles, eyes big and focused on Big like he’s talking about some very important topic.

“Tankhun sounds like fun,” he says, sounding genuine. “I met him once, years ago. It was a charity event, and the party was wrapping up, so he made his bodyguards chug blood mixed with vodka, claiming he’s bored.”

Big snorts, because that sounds like something Tankhun would do. Big’s too well trained not to notice that Sun scoots a little closer to him under the excuse of adjusting himself. He doesn’t point it out, wondering what will be Sun’s next move.

“Khun Tankhun is often bored,” he admits, shrugging.

“What else can you tell me about yourself?” Sun asks him, leaning forward so he’s even closer to Big. It’s like he can’t stay away. “You didn’t really tell me how old you are.”

“Fifty one,” Big tells him, knowing Sun is sixty. The man is a born vampire, just like Kinn. His clan is old and well respected.

“I’d give you less,” Sun says, eyes moving over Big’s face and body. “You carry yourself with confidence. You’re clearly aware of your abilities as a vampire, but there’s something about you… I usually see it in newly turned vampires.”

Big furrows his brows, wondering what Sun is talking about. Big has been a vampire for over twenty years. He has adjusted well to not being a human.

“What?”

“This… wildness when it comes to feeding,” Sun explains, pinning Big with his gaze. It’s like he wants to see every single reaction his words will have on Big. “It’s like your body is always starving, always pushing you to feed. I saw how you were with that woman. I was observing you from the moment you showed up at the club. Your eyes were assessing everyone in a very predatory way. You clearly don’t see feeding as a fun time. The sole purpose of it is to nourish your body.”

Big clenches his teeth, hating how Sun got a read on him after one interaction at the club.

“Is that wrong?” He asks stiffly, spine straightening.

“It’s not,” Sun’s tone becomes gentle as he scoots even closer to Big. Now their knees are touching. “It’s just how it works for newly turned vampires. Drinking blood is all about getting food. It becomes a fun activity later on, when they learn control. It’s like you haven’t passed that stage yet. But on the other hand, you have admirable control over yourself. You were on the brink of collapsing with a woman willing to feed you and you pushed her away. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Big fears his teeth are going to break if he doesn’t unclench his jaw, so he takes an unnecessary breath. Some human habits are hard to break, especially if he spends time around them. It’s easy to mimic them, his body acting on autopilot. Big looks away, staring at the wall and trying to gather his thoughts. He doesn’t want to talk about the reasons he has trouble feeding from humans. He doesn’t want to remember what happened to him. It’s embarrassing that it was so many years ago and he still can’t get over it.

“Hey,” Sun says softly, gently grabbing Big’s hand. He starts uncurling his palm from a tight fist. Big didn’t even notice when he balled his hands into fists. “I wasn’t judging or trying to make you feel bad. You just fascinate me. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”

Big forces himself to shrug stiffly.

“I’m not offended,” he tells him, voice tight. “I just… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Sun hums in that stupidly soft voice, lacing their fingers together and lying them in Big’s lap. “One last question and I’ll give it a rest.”

Big nods, bracing himself for the question.

“Have you fed since I last saw you?” Sun asks, rubbing his thumb soothingly over Big’s palm.

Since you drank from me, is what Big hears, making him want to squirm.

“Yeah. I buy blood from… willing donors,” Big tells him. He really does. He always makes sure no one is pressured. At least by him. The people he buys from are usually forced by their life circumstances, but that’s a completely different issue. “Not too often, but it gets me by.”

“It’s illegal,” Sun points out, making Big snort.

“You know who I am, right?” Big asks him, cocking an eyebrow, some of his confidence coming back. “I’m not exactly worried about breaking the law. I’m more worried about being caught by Kh…”

The words die on his tongue. Not wanting to admit to Sun he’s worried about Khun Kinn finding out. There would be hell to pay. All the bodyguards are encouraged to drink at Ruby at least once or twice a week. It’s all paid for by the family. Big has managed to stay off of Khun Kinn’s radar for most of the time, but sometimes he slips and doesn’t feed for too long, landing him in situations like the last one when he was forced to show up at Ruby.

“Naughty,” Sun jokes, pressing their knees ever closer. Big wonders when the man will crawl into his lap. Honestly, it’s like Sun is allergic to personal space. He’s surprised that he doesn’t really mind that. “It’s thrilling to think about all the role play we could do. A businessman caught by a ruthless mafia vampire.”

Big stares at him like Sun just grew a second head.

“Did someone hit you in the head a little too hard since we last talked?” Big asks him.

Sun throws his head back as he laughs, his fangs getting exposed as his lip curls up. Big’s focus is instantly on them, wondering what Sun really felt when he bit him. He knows vampire bites are pleasant for humans, but is it the same for vampires? The man felt in control when he was feeding from him, he wasn’t like the humans Big bit in the past. Always moaning, wanting more, trying to touch him and rub all over him. So maybe it’s different.

“Can I kiss you?” Sun asks him, bringing him out of his thoughts. Big blinks, startled, and realises he’s been staring at Sun’s mouth for longer than he thought.

Big licks over his bottom lip, nerves flaring up, making everything around him heightened.

“Yes,” he whispers, throat closing up. He feels like a teenager before his first kiss.

A lovely smile graces Sun’s face, before he puts his large palm on Big’s cheek and connects their lips in a kiss. Sun’s lips are as plush and soft as they look, molding against Big’s smaller ones.

“Mm,” Big hums, closing his eyes and letting himself just feel.

Sun’s palm on his cheek feels warm, much warmer than Big’s almost always cold skin. He doesn’t feed directly from humans, so his body temperature is usually low. Sun angles his head back, putting gentle pressure on Big’s face, as he parts his mouth and sucks Big’s bottom lip. Big’s head swims, a needy whimper escaping him. It’s been ages since he kissed anyone and he doesn’t remember a kiss ever feeling this damn good. When Sun hears him, a low growl resonates in his chest as he intensifies the kiss. His tongue sneaks inside Big’s mouth, licking over Big’s own, swallowing every small noise he makes.

It’s hard to focus while being kissed like this and it becomes even harder when Sun presses his tongue to Big’s fang and nicks himself on it, the droplets of blood spilling in Big’s mouth.

Big knows he’s going to be embarrassed about the noise he makes once they’re done, but right now he doesn’t care. He sounds like a starved kitten, chasing the taste of blood, trying to climb into Sun’s lap as he licks into his mouth. He wants more. Immediately.

“Stop, stop,” Sun pants, pushing at Big’s shoulders to put distance between them. “Sorry. I’m sorry, Big.”

“What?” Big asks, trying to get rid of the haze in his head. All he can focus on is the delicious, decadent taste of blood. He blinks, realizing he’s half-way up Sun’s lap, his thigh thrown over Sun’s own.

“That was a dick move,” the man admits, running a hand over his face. “You said you don’t want to bite me and I… I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Big mumbles, but doesn’t move from his spot, not really knowing what he should do now. He wants to kiss Sun more. He wants to chase the taste of him and climb into his lap. He wants to feel good and to make Sun feel the same. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Sun protests, looking him in the eyes. He looks ashamed, making Big’s heart clench painfully. He hates that he made Sun feel this way, especially because he wants to feed from him. He wants to bite him and drink, and drink until he’s bursting with it. The week after he fed from Sun was the best he had felt in ages. There’s just something in his head making him unable to admit to that. “Do you want me to drive you home?”

“No,” Big rushes out, panic overtaking him. It’s a fucking rollercoaster of emotions. Without thinking, he climbs further into Sun’s lap, so now he’s straddling him. “I’m a big boy. You don’t have to treat me like I’m gonna break.”

The corner of Sun’s mouth ticks up.

“It’s not about that,” he explains, shaking his head.

Big bites his bottom lip, liking how tender it feels after the kissing.

“Are you still bleeding?” He asks, not knowing what answer he would like more.

“No.” Sun sticks his tongue out, showing that the little cut has healed.

“Well, then I don’t see a reason why we should stop,” Big says, deep down hoping he will still be able to find traces of Sun’s delicious blood in his mouth. He needs it.

Sun’s eyes visibly darken as he places his hands on Big’s hips.

“Kiss me,” Sun pleads, and Big does just that, connecting their lips with a whimper.

He gives all of him into the kiss, pushing his tongue inside Sun’s mouth, eager to check for any traces of blood. He finds only a faint taste, a frustrated sound leaving his throat as he grabs at Sun’s hair and yanks his head back. Sun squeezes his waist for a second, before he sneaks his hands under Big’s black t-shirt and starts running them all over Big’s back. Kissing Sun feels absolutely addicting, turning Big’s brain into mush as their tongues slide together.

“Mm,” Sun hums as his hands wander down, grabbing handfuls of Big’s ass. He pushes his hips up and at the same time pulls Big down, rubbing his hard on, on the cleft of Big’s ass. “Fuck.”

Big feels a delicious spark travel up his body, arousal igniting in his lower belly. He disconnects their lips and pepper-kisses his way down to the elegant arch of Sun’s neck. The second he puts his lips on Sun’s neck, the man hisses, hips jutting up.

“Big,” Sun gasps, exposing more of his neck and all Big can focus on is that all it would take would be a bite. And then he could drink blood again, make his belly full and the sluggishness that sometimes appears in his mind would be nowhere to be seen. His cock would get hard, instead of just leaving him with a sad semi, when the hottest guy he’s ever been with is rubbing off on him.

Big knows damn well that he won’t get an erection if he doesn’t feed. There’s not enough blood in him to rush to his cock and the thought alone makes him feel so embarrassed he wants to crawl under a rock and never come out. It doesn’t help that he remembers how good he felt when he fed from Sun last time, how it nourished his body and made him feel aroused. Sexy. How desperate he was to come.

Big knows he’s playing with fire as he licks a broad stripe up Sun’s neck, tasting the skin and how soft it is. How breakable.

“Big,” Sun repeats, sounding almost desperate. Big got so focused on Sun’s neck he didn’t even notice the man steadily humping him, like he lost control. Sun is clearly turned on at the thought of being bitten. Big opens his mouth, lets his fangs pop out and presses them against the skin, not breaking it. “Fuck. Fuck, baby. You need to stop if you don’t… I can’t fucking take it.”

Sun is clutching at Big’s waist like it’s a lifeline, the only thing keeping him afloat, and the grip is almost painful.

“Just… just a little bit, okay?” Big whispers against the skin, clenching his eyes tightly. He can hate himself later for being weak, but right now? Right now, he wants to feel good again. To give in. “I’ll take just a little.”

“Do it,” Sun commands, voice rough but steady. “Fucking bite me, Big. Let me feed you.”

Big mewls before he gives in. His fangs pierce the skin, making Sun twitch under him, as Big forces the fangs deeper, right into the vein. He retracts them and whimpers at the first taste of blood. He wraps his lips around the puncture wound and pulls. And pulls again, greedy and starved. The taste spills all over his taste buds, soothing his throat as the blood slides down to his stomach and it’s the best thing Big has ever had in his mouth. He’s barely aware of Sun forcibly tugging his pants down, exposing Big’s ass and cock to the air. The material gets stuck around his spread thighs, and he moans when Sun grabs him by the head and pushes it closer to his neck.

“Drink more,” Sun says, sounding like he’s losing control. It’s nothing like the steadiness he offered in Ruby. He’s letting himself enjoy it now as well and it only adds to Big’s pleasure. “You’re so fucking sexy, baby. Drinking from my veins. I can’t wait till I fuck you.”

Big shudders, gasping unnecessarily like he’s a human running a fucking marathon, some of the blood escaping the wound and trailing down Sun’s neck. It stains the material of his polo shirt and Big hastily starts licking it off, not wanting to spill a single drop. Something in his brain switches as he exposes his fangs once more and bites again.

“Fuck,” Sun rasps, pushing a hand between them and wrapping it around Big’s cock. It’s almost fully hard now, Big’s balls beginning to throb as hunger takes away to arousal. Big pulls more blood into his mouth, knowing he’s never going to have enough. He wants to spend days drinking from Sun. “Look how hard you’re now. Look how good you’re for me.”

Big twitches when the hand from his head disappears just to touch his exposed asshole. The fingers are wet like Sun just licked them and Big pushes his ass out, wanting more. Wanting to be good. The wound in Sun’s neck begins to close up again and Big starts licking all over the skin, cleaning whatever he can.

“Ah,” he moans, when Sun pushes a finger inside. It slides in smoothly, but the stretch and burn is still there. He finally leans back, looking Sun into eyes and goosebumps break all over his body when he sees how dark and predatory his gaze is.

“Good?” Sun checks in, eyes flicking down to Big’s mouth. He leans forward and quickly licks the corner of Big’s mouth. “Mm, you had some blood in there.”

If Big could combust with embarrassment, that’s what would happen right this moment. He looks away, trying to get a grip over himself, but Sun chooses this very moment to touch his prostate. Big gasps, hunching forward and grips Sun’s shoulders. There’s blood on his polo, mocking Big’s weakness.

“Don’t hide from me,” Sun pleads. He turns his head and leaves a kiss on Big’s head. “I like to know how good I make you feel.”

The finger in Big’s ass disappears before there’s pressure again. Sun slowly stuffs two inside, making rocking motions with them that Big subconsciously mimics with his hips. He hides his face further in Sun’s neck, taking a deep breath through his nose and enjoys the pleasant smell Sun has. It’s hard to describe, but it soothes Big and makes him feel safe.

“What do you want, Big?” Sun asks, gently scissoring Big and stretching him open. The hand that isn’t busy fingering Big is running circles on his back. “It’s adorable how shy you are.”

“Fuck off,” Big mumbles grumpily, but he mostly sounds breathless. He hates himself for how overwhelmed he feels, how out of his element. Having sex hasn’t been on his mind in ages. He did it a few times over the years just to scratch an itch. Blood and sex go in pairs for vampires and Big’s problem with feeding from humans goes to the very first day he got turned.

“There he is,” Sun jokes, nosing Big’s hair that is now all loose around his head. “Tell me what you want.”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Big asks, forcing himself to straighten up and look at Sun. He licks over his swollen bottom lip, admiring how wild Sun looks right now. He may sound in control, but his look suggests otherwise. The fangs are out, the pupils in his eyes blown out with a predatory glint in them.

“Want my cock?” Sun asks him casually, knuckles grazing over Big’s prostate. “Will you let me fuck you?”

“Yeah,” Big replies, throat closing up. No one has ever made him feel like this. He likes how Sun understands him, knows what Big craves, but still asks for his opinion. Never crosses a line.

Sun smiles at him, all perfectly white teeth showing.

“Let me grab some lube,” Sun says, patting Big’s bum, before he retracts his fingers as gently as he can. “Undress for me, pretty, and I will be with you shortly.”

Big gets off his lap a little awkwardly, with the pants still bundled up around his thighs. Sun leaves the room with vampire speed and Big quickly gets rid of his pants and underwear. He’s in the process of taking off his t-shirt, when Sun comes back with a bottle of lube and stares. Big quirks an eyebrow at him, pulling the garment over his head and putting it neatly next to his pants.

“Gorgeous,” Sun praises him, eyes moving eagerly over Big’s body. He takes in Big’s thighs, hard cock jutting up to his stomach, the sharp v-line and defined chest. “You look even better than I imagined.”

“Did you imagine it often?” Big asks, the question coming out a little dry, but Sun doesn’t seem to mind.

“I told you I stripped my cock raw thinking of you,” Sun tells him, taking off his own polo and carelessly throwing it on the floor. Big’s hands twitch with the need to grab at his broad shoulders. The man looks like a damn triangle with those wide, muscular shoulders and lean waist. He has a flat stomach and chest dusted with hair. “Why is everything you do such a turn on?”

Big rolls his eyes at him, even though he’s flattered.

“You’re full of shit,” he says, waiting eagerly for Sun to take off his pants. He wants to see his cock, he wants to touch it. See if he’s as big as he felt under his ass.

Sun uses vampire speed to move towards him, towering over Big now that they’re standing so close their toes are touching.

“Undress me,” Sun demands, throwing the bottle of lube on the couch. His arms fall loosely on both sides of his body. “Go on, Big.”

Big’s fingers are fumbling with the button of Sun’s jeans a second later, pulling it through the little hole. He drags the zipper down, feeling heat crawl up his back. He’s so out of his element it’s not even funny. Big doesn’t let himself overthink it as he pulls the jeans and underwear down, thumbs hooked over the material as he kneels to get them to Sun’s feet. He keeps his gaze low, tugging the materials over Sun’s legs after he lifts them one by one.

“Lovely,” Sun comments, that lowly rasp showing up once again. “Kiss me, pretty.”

Big makes a move to stand up, but Sun’s hand on his head stops him and he instinctively looks up. The man grabs his cock, making Big realize how close his face is to it and his stomach twists. Sun aims his cock at Big’s face, the fat cockhead purple and glistening. Big is not going to survive tonight.

He hesitantly leans forward and wraps his lips around the tip, leaving there a wet kiss and pulling back. Sun moans loudly, making pride swell in Big’s chest even if he wants to crawl away and hide under the couch.

“Unreal,” Sun whispers, putting a hand in Big’s hair, twisting the strands between his fingers. “Another one?”

If Big could blush, he would be red as a tomato. Sun probably wanted him to blow him, and Big just left a kiss on his cock like an idiot. He took it literally. He looks down to brace himself before he leans forward once again and wraps his lips around the tip again. This time he sucks a little without going further than the tip and the salty taste of precome spills in his mouth. He opens his mouth to get more of it, to suck on Sun, but the man keeps a hold on his head, stopping him.

“Just like this,” Sun pleads. Big looks up at him in confusion. Does he really just want kisses on his cock? “Yeah, baby. Just kiss me, lick the base. Make me wet.”

Big has to grab a hold of his erection to stop himself from combusting before the sex even starts. He will go insane before they’re done. Good lord, this is too much.

Something deep inside of him craves to be good to Sun, to please him. He wants the man to desire him, to praise him and go crazy with want.

That’s why he swirls his tongue around the tip, cleaning off the taste of precome and moves to licking all over the base. Sun releases his cock, letting it jut up towards his belly so it’s easier for Big to lick. His powerful thighs are tensed up, the hand in Big’s hand tugging the hair almost painfully.

Big uses a hand to wrap it around Sun’s cock, leaving little kisses all over the cock as he makes his way back to the tip. He keeps eye contact with Big as he wraps them around the fat cockhead again, leaving a wet kiss.

“Fuck,” Sun snaps, tugging at Big’s hair and making him scramble to get back on his feet. Sun attacks his mouth, fangs fully out, as he licks deeply into Big’s mouth. Big whimpers, letting himself be kissed as their cocks brush together. His balls are already so tightly drawn he fears coming all over Sun. “You drive me crazy, Big. You have no idea.”

“Fuck me,” Big pleads, because nothing else comes to his mind. He wants to be filled to the brim, stuffed so full his mind will go blank. He clutches at Sun’s broad shoulders, digging his fingers into the muscles as he stands on his tippy-toes. “Fuck me, Sun.”

Sun growls loudly, grabbing Big under the ass and lifts him up, making Big wrap his legs around his middle. Sun sits down with Big still wrapped around him, making it clear Big’s going to be riding him. He doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse.

“Do you need me to stretch you open some more?” Sun asks, blindly reaching for the bottle of lube.

“Yeah?” Big says, making it sound like a question. He’s nowhere near ready to take a cock after two fingers. “Maybe go for three now.”

“Ambitious,” Sun jokes, but he looks ready to snap. There's a certain jerkiness to his movements that wasn’t there before. He squeezes out a dollop of lube, spreading it between his fingers before he reaches to Big’s asshole and gently starts circling the hole.

“Kiss me,” Big pleads, connecting their lips together as the fingers breach him. He needs to focus on something else other than the fingers and the pressing need to be fucked.

Sun kisses him back easily, his fangs still out like he can’t control them. Big is fed now, so his are retracted, making the kissing easier. He whimpers when Sun licks into his mouth, fingers filling Big and stretching them once he gets them all the way inside. They kiss just like this, with Big’s ass pushed out, Sun swallowing all of his noises and making quick work of opening him up.

“Ready,” Big gasps out, pulling away. “I’m ready. Please.”

Sun closes his eyes like he’s fighting for control, before he eases off his fingers and lubes up his cock. It’s big and glistening, sticking out from between his legs as Big stares down. His own cock looks angrily red, wet at the tip.

“Sit down slowly,” Sun tells him, aiming his cock at Big’s hole.

Big bites his bottom lip as he slowly lowers himself on the hard cock, clutching at Sun’s shoulders. There’s no way in hell he’s going to survive this. The cock forces him open, pain shooting from his ass and making him clench down. Big huffs in frustration, trying again and forcing himself to relax. He went through much more painful situations than this. He can do it.

It’s painstakingly slow, but after a good five minutes of rocking up and down, easing down gently, he takes all of Sun. As he bottoms out, it feels like Sun’s cock can reach his fucking throat from this position.

“Oh,” he gasps, looking down and trying to see if it’s protruding from his stomach. It feels like it should with how full it makes him feel, but there’s nothing there. Just his own erection that didn’t get the memo that he went through a struggle and is smearing his belly with precome.

“So tight,” Sun comments, sounding in awe. “Big, you’re so beautiful like this.”

“Shut up,” Big mumbles, fighting the urge to hide in his neck again. Sun can’t say shit like this, not when he feels ready to fall apart at any given moment. There’s something building in his chest, something that will overtake everything, and Big starts fearing what will happen when it gets loose.

Sun laughs, shaking his head.

“Can’t take a compliment? Why am I not surprised?” He asks teasingly, kneading Big’s ass like it’s a dough. “Ready?”

“Mm,” Big hums, not feeling ready at all, but he starts rocking his hips, fingers digging into Sun’s body. It must be painful at this point, but Sun doesn’t say anything. The grip he has on Big’s ass helps him move, pushing his body back and forth for now. “Oh, oh.”

It’s so easy to tease his prostate this way, like Sun’s cock was made for him. To press against all the delicious spots inside of him. Fucking like this feels damn good, but when Sun lifts him and snaps his hips up when he pulls Big down again, makes Big’s eyes roll back in his head.

“Fuck,” he screams, scrambling for control. The thing in his chest slowly starts clawing its way to the surface, the pressure in his lungs impossible to ignore.

“Ride me, baby,” Sun says, helping him move up and down. “Just like this. Use my cock. Make yourself feel good.”

The noises that leave Big’s mouth are a constant stream of moans and broken whimpers, filling the room. He’s fucking himself on Sun’s cock like it’s the last thing he’s going to do in this life, chasing the pleasure. The overwhelming feeling grows in his chest more and more with every snap of his hips. Big’s trembling all over, his thighs burning and cock slapping wetly against his belly.

“Look at you.” Sun’s voice anchors him, pulling him back to the surface. “I can’t stop watching you. You were born to take cock, baby. Absolutely gorgeous. So pretty for me.”

Oh no. With every word Sun says, every praise that leaves his lips, the thing in Big’s chest claws harder and harder, until it finds his way to his throat. It makes it close up, eyes growing wet, and Big realizes with panic that this feeling is a sob building up. Any second now, it’s going to break free.

“I don’t think I have ever seen someone more beautiful than you,” Sun tells him, hands roaming all over Big’s body. He’s touching him over his arms, waist, belly, chest and neck. When he grabs Big’s face with both hands, forcing him to look up, his eyes grow in size at the tears in Big’s eyes. “Oh, baby. What’s happening?”

Big shakes his head, the tears spilling down his cheeks and the absolute mortification of it, makes the sob finally break free. The sound is loud and ugly, making him lean forward in panic and hide in the place where Sun’s neck meets his shoulder.

“Shh,” Sun shushes him gently, putting his large hand on Big’s nape. “Tell me what’s happening. Come on, pretty.”

Big just shakes his head, working his hips harder, because the crying part isn’t exactly stopping the urge to come. It’s the opposite, actually. Being this close to Sun lets him hump his cock on the man’s stomach, smearing his precome all over the skin. The tears are falling freely now, wetting Sun’s skin.

“Oh,” Sun hums, his other hand clutching at Big’s ass and helping him move. “Is my cock making you feel so good you’re crying?”

“Ye… yes,” Big gasps out, eyes rolling back in his head when the skin catches under his cockhead. He’s on the brink of coming. “Tell me… I… I… tell me.”

He’s a blubbering mess, not really knowing what he wants.

“Want me to tell you how good you are?” Sun asks him, pushing at the small of his back so Big’s cock gets even more friction. Sun lowers himself a little, bracing his feet on the floor before he starts fucking into Big. “Because you’re being so good for me, Big. Your hole feels like heaven. Such a pretty boy, so gorgeous.”

Big sobs, clawing at Sun’s body as his cock shoots messily between them. This is the most overwhelming thing he’s ever felt. His brain stops working, all of his muscles clench up to release a second later. His face is wet with tears, another sob breaking loose as he empties himself on Sun.

He’s barely aware of Sun fucking him like a man possessed, a stream of words leaving his lips as he finally snaps his hips up and up, like he wants to crawl deeper inside of Big before he stills. He gasps out a few curses, coming deep.

Everything stills then, the world stops spinning and not a single thought graces Big’s mind. It’s just them, clutching at one another as they come down from their high.

But with every high, there needs to be a downfall. Big slowly becomes aware of what just happened. How he broke down because Sun called him a few pretty names and stuffed him full of cock. He’s a fucking mess, an absolute disgrace. Nothing like this has ever happened to him.

“Big?” Sun asks him gently, tracing patterns on Big’s back like he’s afraid he’s going to shatter in his arm. “Baby?”

Big clenches his teeth, ungluing himself from Sun and straightening up. He swipes angrily at his face, trying to get rid of the evidence of his tears. He doesn’t even think about the come smeared all over his belly as he gets off Sun’s lap, wincing when his cock slips out of him. Big is a complete mess.

“Big?” Sun asks, standing up as well, his soft cock hanging between his legs. It’s glistening with come and lube.

“I have to go,” Big says, looking around for his clothes. He’s too shaken up to stay. Every interaction with Sun ends up with him discovering something new about himself and Big doesn’t know what to do with it.

Sun doesn’t say anything, just watches Big look wildly around, unable to focus. Big sniffs, quickly wiping away the last of the tears on his face, and twitches when Sun approaches him with his own polo. The vampire uses the material to gently clean Big’s stomach, before he offers Big his own black t-shirt.

“There,” he hums, pulling the material over Big’s head. If he’s trying to make Big’s head an ever bigger mess, he’s doing a spectacular job. No one should be this kind to him. Especially when he’s ready to bolt out of the room after they just had sex.

Big clenches his teeth, putting his arms through the holes and quickly pulls his underwear and pants up his legs. He would die of mortification if Sun tried to help him with it as well. Big squares his shoulders, trying to appear stronger and more in control than he really feels.

“I have to go,” he says, meeting Sun’s eyes for a second, before he looks away. He hates how understanding Sun looks.

“How can I contact you?” Sun asks him, still standing completely naked.

Something clenches deep in Big’s belly at the thought of seeing Sun again. He can’t think right now. Everything is too confusing.

“I need time,” is all Big can offer him now.

Sun only hums in acknowledgment. Big looks him in the eyes one last time, taking in Sun’s plush lips and broad shoulders. The angular lines of his face. He’s too damn handsome. A second later, Big uses vampire speed to get the hell out of there.

“Don’t take too much time or I’ll find you again, pretty,” Sun calls after him, when Big’s entering the elevator, making goosebumps erupt all over Big’s body.

***

The next few days are complete hell. Big feels like he’s going to scream at anyone if they even look at him wrong. He also avoids everyone like a plague, keeping to himself even more than usual. Big isn’t the most social person out there, but he’s usually happy to join the guys for a movie or play some card games with them. Hell, he even likes playing video games with Ken, but right now, he can’t bear the thought of being close to anyone. The only person he would like to see is Sun, and that’s impossible. He still gets embarrassed when he thinks about how he broke down and started crying during sex. Not to mention feeding from the man again.

It doesn’t help that there’s absolutely nothing to do either. He accompanies Kinn on some outings, mostly business meetings that go surprisingly well, and all he has to do is stand in the corner. For the first time in his life, Big wishes for some violence so he can punch someone and make himself feel better. When Kinn isn’t stuck in boring meetings, he’s busy with Porsche. Which leaves Big standing guard at their door, surrounded by complete silence. Kinn’s rooms are soundproof and it’s actually a blessing with vampire hearing. Big huffs, running a hand through his hair and messing up his ponytail.

He twitches when Kinn’s door opens, and Porsche’s head pops out of the room. Big’s ears are instantly assaulted by the loud thumping of Porsche’s heart and the way blood flows through his veins. It takes him a second to tune out the sound. Porsche is currently the only human in the compound. No one else is allowed inside during the day, but they have some human workers that come at night to clean or do some maintenance work. From inside the room also comes the sound of Kinn talking to someone on the phone.

“Oh,” Porsche mumbles, blinking when he sees Big. “You really just stand here all the time?”

Big has to bite back a nasty remark, knowing it wouldn’t end well for him to be rude to this man. Kinn is enamoured with Porsche, spending every free second with him. It’s Porsche’s third time at the compound and he knows the man didn’t want to come here before, too scared to be surrounded by the clan.

“Yes,” Big finally says, wishing he could be anywhere else right now. Preferably in a dangerous situation requiring him to break someone's legs. So much restless energy is flowing through him it’s a wonder he’s not fidgeting in place like a toddler on sugar high.

“Your name is Big, right?” Porsche asks, looking at him curiously. “You’re the guy that helped me at Ruby, right?”

Big remembers the scumbag he had to drag out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Yes to both,” he replies.

There’s a fresh bite mark on Porsche’s neck, the puncture wounds red against his golden skin. Porsche is gorgeous, Big can admit that. And he likes him much better than he ever liked Tawan. Kinn is different when he’s with him. There’s a spark in him that hasn’t been there in a while.

“Do you only give monosyllabic answers?” Porsche raises an eyebrow at him, the slightly too big t-shirt he has on clearly belonging to Kinn.

“Yes,” Big says just to fuck with him.

The corner of Porsche’s lips twitches.

“So you’re an ass,” Porsche sums him up. “That other guy was more chatty. I think his name is Pete.”

Big rolls his eyes and says dryly, “Better luck next time.”

Porsche snorts loudly, and Kinn chooses this moment to show up right behind him. Big straightens up a little.

“Why are you standing here?” Kinn asks Porsche.

“I wanted to look for some food and you were busy,” Porsche tells him, shrugging. “I thought Big here could help me find something.”

Big really has to swallow down his remark, because asking Porsche if he’s stupid in front of Kinn would guarantee his early death. He shuffles on his feet instead, the impatience to do something, anything, growing in him.

“There’s no food here,” Kinn answers apologetically, putting his hand on Porsche’s neck and running his thumb over his nape. “I can order you something.”

“Right,” Porsche mumbles. “Only vamps are all around.”

Big narrows his eyes at him, wondering why Porsche uses that word. He doesn’t sound hateful, more like it’s a habit. When Porsche catches his eyes, he winces.

“Sorry,” Porsche says, looking away, and purses his lips. “I’m working on it.”

Kinn looks Big up and down, his eyes assessing him in a way that makes Big feel naked.

“We will order in,” Kinn finally says, pushing Porsche’s shoulder to make him walk back inside. Porsche leaves with a little wave to Big, mumbling something about craving beef as he disappears. Then Kinn addresses Big, “Go and spar with someone.”

“Sorry?” Big asks stupidly.

“Go and spar with someone,” Kinn repeats, looking him in the eyes. “You look like you need it.”

Big nods jerkily, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“Thank you, Khun Kinn,” Big says, because a moment longer here and he would go fucking crazy.

***

Over the next three days, Big runs out of people to spar with. No one wants to get their ass kicked, and he’s more brutal than usual. He’s doing everything not to think about Sun and how good he felt with him. The hunger is slowly starting to creep up on him, making his stomach clench painfully and his throat to ache. It’s been over a week since he last saw Sun and two days ago was his free day. A part of him hoped Sun would show up like last time and force him to go out with him. Big waited the whole day and night, feeling like he was going to crawl out of his skin. He was even more snappish and unpleasant to work with. Ken joked that the guys would file an official complaint to Chan if Big didn’t chill out.

Big kicks the punching bag with all his might, huffing through his nose, but it does nothing to distract him. Nothing fucking works. Nothing. Things have been quiet in the compound as well. A weird hush has fallen over everyone since four days ago when Khun Korn went to sleep. The man is locked in an underground room with the best security system available on Earth. No one can get inside. Only two people know the password to get inside: Kinn and Chan. There’s a rumour Khun Korn plans to sleep for the next ten years and even Kim showed up to say goodbye. The youngest Theerapanyakul didn’t even hide how pleased he was with the news. Big knows Ten and Beta have a much easier job now that Kim moved back inside his apartment in the city. For the last six months, he’s been driving everyone crazy, hiding around the city and being a little shit.

“Big,” Kinn’s firm tone brings him out of his thoughts and Big realises he has punched a hole in the punching bag.

Big winces and twirls around to look at his boss.

“Yes, Khun Kinn?” He asks, noting that Kinn is wearing his workout clothes.

“Spar with me,” Kinn orders, pointing his head at the sparring mat in the corner of the room.

Big blinks at him in shock because he doesn’t remember the last time Kinn offered him a fight. He used to do it frequently when Big was training, showing him tricks and new moves. Then he practically stopped over the years, knowing Big is well trained and doesn’t require his guidance.

“Are you sure?” He asks stupidly.

Kinn quirks his impressive eyebrow at him, both hands on his waist.

“Do I have to repeat myself?”

“No, Khun Kinn,” Big says, walking over to the mats. The gym is empty at this hour, most of the guys lazing around before the sun goes down and real work starts.

Kinn crooks two fingers at him, making it sure Big should be the one to attack first. The man looks relaxed, but his eyes are keen and alert. Big breathes out and throws the first punch, not really surprised when Kinn easily dodges it. It’s easy to turn off his brain when he’s fighting, he just lets his instincts take over. Sparring with Kinn is both familiar and exciting, because it’s been so long, he forgot how good Kinn really is. The man usually trains with Chan, sometimes with Kim.

Big grinds his teeth when Kinn punches him in the gut, the pain hot and irritating. Big doesn’t let that stop him as he kicks Kinn’s thigh, grabbing at his forearm at the same time. Big has always been better on the mat by bringing his opponent down and choking the shit out of them. Kinn has a lot of strength in his arms, his punch sometimes knocking people out. Big knows to avoid a hit in the head from his boss. Kinn stumbles a step, but doesn’t let himself fall.

Kinn bares his fangs at him mockingly, making anger flare in Big’s stomach. Getting angry while fighting isn’t very smart, because you start fighting with your emotions and not your brain. It’s the easiest way to lose. Normally Big isn’t one to let his blood boil over petty shit, but with the whole situation he’s currently in, he feels himself get heated.

He hisses and throws a punch that catches Kinn right in the jaw, making his head turn slightly and the man’s eyes flare. Big feels satisfaction spread, because this is exactly what he needed. To punch someone and to get punched, no holding back. He’s so lost in his thoughts that a painful groan leaves his lips before he fully registers the kick to his legs. It makes him tumble down, anger instantly rising as he pushes his legs out, trying to keep Kinn away.

“You’re distracted,” Kinn comments, trying to get a good grab at Big’s leg.

Big doesn’t say anything, quickly deciding that the best action would be wrapping his legs around Kinn’s middle and forcing him down. It’s definitely easier to do than if he were still a human. Kinn grunts as Big twists his hips and forces him down to the mat, making him stumble and try catching himself on his hands.

Being down on the mat and trying to out better one another is incredibly tiring as they both don’t want to let the other one win. Big can’t quite force Kinn on his back to choke him out, so they’re in a weird kind of embrace with Kinn’s head pushing at Big’s chest.

“Always going for the choking,” Kinn taunts him, using one of his hands to punch the hell out of Big’s ribs. It fucking hurts and makes Big grunt. “You know, maybe if you fed more often, it wouldn’t take you so long to finish this.”

If Big’s brain wasn’t so busy being flooded with panic, he maybe would have gotten himself out of this situation. He thrashes in Kinn’s hold, one last desperate attempt to throw him off, his strength weakening and panic fully taking over. He can’t help it. Not only is it a painful topic for him, the thought of Kinn taking interest overwhelms him completely.

It takes maybe another minute of them struggling to get the upper hand before Kinn punches him so hard in the head, Big’s grip goes slack. It’s only for a second, but it’s enough for his boss to know he won. Kinn doesn’t wait for Big to tap out. He simply breaks free from the hold of Big’s legs and stands tall. He quirks an eyebrow down at Big before offering his hand to help him up.

“Thank you,” Big says, bowing to him to acknowledge he won.

Kinn nods, still looking at Big like he’s trying to solve a puzzle. Big absolutely hates this look. It never brings anything good his way.

“When was the last time you fed?” Kinn asks him.

Big furrows his brows, knowing that he’s nowhere near a state when Kinn usually notices he’s starving himself. The man usually takes interest when Big’s hands visibly shake and he has trouble focusing. He has at least three more days before he’s at that stage.

“Last Tuesday,” Big answers truthfully, his left temple throbbing with pain. It’s another downside to not feeding regularly, the pain always stays with him much longer than it should if he fed regularly.

Kinn gives him another long look, looking deep in thought before he nods once.

“You need to sort out whatever mess you’re in right now,” Kinn finally tells him, making Big’s heart plummet to his stomach. He doesn’t know how to describe it, but he has a feeling Kinn knows more than he lets on. When Big nods, once and in a very jerky motion, Kinn seems satisfied. The vampire turns on his heel and heads for the door. He’s halfway before he stops and adds without turning back, “Next time we spar, you better be able to take me down, Big.”

Big swallows and watches Kinn leave without waiting for an answer. He knows what Kinn means. Big has to be on his best game next time they see each other and to be able to do that, he has to feed regularly. Kinn didn’t say it, but there’s an ‘or else’ hanging in the air. Big knows it’s a disgrace to him to not be able to protect Kinn to the best of his abilities. His mind isn’t as sharp or his body as strong as it could be. He needs to fix it. And there’s only one way to do that.

***

Big is barely holding it together as he walks through Ruby. He thought he could do this, walk in here, pick a human and feed. Prove to himself that he’s not a fucking failure of a vampire, that he’s stronger than his traitorous mind makes him believe. He also can’t shake off the feeling that he’s back to where he got himself in this mess in the first place. That’s where Sun approached him the first time, swooped in and played the damn hero. And now Big is left paying the price, unable to forget him, unable to even stomach the thought of feeding from a human. It’s worse than before. Last time he at least tried approaching someone, today he sent off the guy who came over to him. He bared his teeth at him and hissed like an angry cat, making the dude trip over his legs as he made a hasty retreat.

“Fucking dammit,” he snaps, punching the door with the heel of his palm as he opens it wide. It smacks into the wall with a bang, fresh air hitting Big and instantly helping him calm down.

“I thought you would never walk out,” says a familiar voice, a dark silhouette coming out of the shadows.

Big feels like someone just punched him in the face as Sun walks over slowly, looking relaxed, even if his eyes are hungrily devouring Big’s body.

“How did you know I’d be here?” Big asks, hating how much he missed Sun and how a part of him settles upon seeing him.

“I figured you’d show up sooner or later,” Sun explains, shrugging casually.

Big narrows his eyes at him.

“I don’t believe you’ve been hanging around, hoping to catch me,” Big says, knowing something is fishy. Sun either made someone follow him or someone notified him Big showed up. And Big knows that there’s no way he could be followed without being aware of it, so that leaves only option two. “Who told you I was here?”

Sun shrugs again, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“You knew I’d find you if you took too much time,” Sun tells him, gently taking hold of Big’s chin. Goosebumps erupt all over his skin. He turns his head left and right, taking in every little detail of Big’s face. “You haven’t been eating properly.”

Big presses his lips together, knowing he pushed it again. Before Sun, he could at least drink blood from cups, steal some or pay someone off. Now, he can’t even do that. He doesn’t want to drink blood from a cup, nor does he want to drink from humans directly.

“So what?” Big snaps, getting angry. He’s tired of everyone always being on his ass about feeding. First Kinn, then Ken made a comment about Big needing to snack on a human, and now Sun. “Why do you even care?”

Sun’s brows furrow, but he doesn’t take his hand away. Now he’s rubbing his thumb over the point where Big’s pulse should be the strongest if he were still a human. But now there’s nothing there but an empty vein, screaming at him to fill it with warm, delicious blood.

“I like you, Big,” Sun says, unapologetically honest in his answer. “Is it so wrong that I want to take care of you? To give you something that you clearly can’t take from another source? Why suffer when you can come to me? I’m an easy solution to your problem, pretty.”

Big scoffs, deep down knowing the solution really is that easy. It’s really as easy as showing up at Sun’s door and asking to drink from his veins. Big just hates the idea of being a fucking freak. He’s a total failure of a vampire. What kind of predator is afraid of its prey? Pathetic. He’s as pathetic as he was all those years ago when he was locked down in a cage like an animal. Nothing but “Specimen 9”.

“You don’t get it,” Big tells him, shaking his head, but he doesn’t sound as angry. He sounds defeated. “I can’t just show up at your place and feed on you whenever I like. If Khun Kinn were to find out… I don’t even want to think what would happen to me.”

“Is that why you’re so hesitant?” Sun asks, his big expressive eyes boring into Big’s. “Are you afraid of Kinn’s reaction?”

“Partially,” Big admits. He’s in the fucking mafia, for fuck’s sake. He doubts doing something like this would be taken lightly.

Sun sighs, looking like he’s battling with himself for a moment, before he says, “Kinn already knows.”

Big blinks at him, wondering if his hearing is failing him somehow.

“Sorry, what?” He asks, feeling like the air around him turns into soup. It’s suddenly stifling and eerily quiet around them.

“Kinn saw us. The first time at the club,” Sun explains, sounding apologetic. “He barged in the office and you were so out of it, you didn’t notice him. I knew you needed to feed, so I just… I shook my head at him when he tried saying something and he just walked out. Never commented on what he saw. I even talked with him on the phone later on and he just said he doesn’t want any details, implied I can see you on Tuesdays.”

Big is listening to Sun, but the words aren’t making any sense. Big feels like someone just took a sledgehammer to his head, and now the world around him is fuzzy. He stumbles a step back, shaking his head.

“He knows?” He asks, voice choked up.

“Yes, and he doesn’t fucking care,” Sun tells him, throwing his hands up in the air. “I have been trying to tell you this. No one fucking cares where you feed, Big. It’s all in your head.”

Big points an accusing finger at him.

“You lied to me,” he says, anger threatening to burst his chest open. “You knew, and you didn’t say a damn thing.”

“Because I knew you’d freak out!” Sun reasons, sounding calmer as he tries reaching for him. “First, I wanted to give you some time to come to terms with feeding on me.”

“Doesn’t change the fact you lied,” Big tells him stubbornly.

“Yes. Yes, I lied and I’m very sorry about it,” Sun announces, eyes earnest and pleading. “I can’t turn back time, but I really thought I was doing the right thing.”

Big huffs, knowing there wasn’t really a malicious intent behind Sun’s actions. He’s still pissed off, because no one likes being lied to, but he can see where Sun was coming from. It’s also a huge weight off his shoulders that Kinn knows. He didn’t even know how that truly bothered him. The thought of getting discovered somewhere along the way, when he’s even more attached to Sun. The threat is now gone.

“Don’t lie to me again,” Big says to Sun in the most serious tone he can muster. “Especially not about stuff like this.”

“I won’t,” Sun promises, his shoulders relaxing. He approaches Big again, now that the crisis seems averted. He puts his large palms on Big’s shoulders and squeezes them gently. “Will you let me help you, Big?”

“Help?” Big asks, but he knows what Sun means.

“Let me feed you,” Sun pleads, rubbing his thumbs over Big’s skin. “Let me be there for you when you need me. Let’s just try and see what happens, hm?”

Big bites the inside of his cheek, deep down knowing what his answer is going to be. He’s not strong enough to resist the pull Sun has on him. Not strong enough to keep starving himself, too scared and disgusted to feed on humans.

“Okay,” he whispers, weirdly at peace with it. “Okay.”

The smile he gets in return is absolutely blinding.

***

During the week Big doesn’t really have any opportunity to meet with Sun. All they have are Tuesdays, but for now it’s enough. It’s been a month since he met Sun at the club. Four blissful weeks of feeding from Sun, getting orgasms and being pampered. Sun likes to take care of him, likes to buy him stuff Big doesn’t really need, but he also likes bathing Big. Running his hands over every single inch of his skin, massaging expensive skincare products into his face and body. Big usually leaves his place smelling like he rolled around in a perfume shop, body and heart lighter than a feather. It’s a weird feeling after years of avoiding emotional connection with other people.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Sun asks him, nosing over Big’s neck.

They’re lying in the huge bed in the bedroom, both naked and comfortable. They had penetrative sex last week and Big fought with all his might to not fall apart. He still gets ridiculously embarrassed at how he cried the first time. Last week he let Sun put him on all four, ass up in the air as he was pounded within the inch of his life. Big felt so overwhelmed, so out of control. It was a matter of minutes before he fell apart, but miraculously Sun came first.

“Nothing,” Big replies, rolling over so they’re face to face. “I should get going soon, before the sun rises.”

“You still got over two hours for that,” Sun tells him, propping his head on his elbow. “I like how much healthier you look.”

Big looks away, because this is still a sensitive topic for him, but knows Sun is right. He can see it in the mirror. Hell, he knows by the way his brain works. Years of starving himself got him used to the constant drowsiness. Now he’s sharper and quicker, deadlier as well. It’s easier to protect Kinn, his whole focus on the surroundings. Just last week, Kinn got attacked on their way from a meeting and Big killed four vampires by himself, long before they even got close to Kinn. It's almost like he‘s got superpowers.

“If we continue with how much you always make me feed, you’ll end up in the state I was in,” Big tells him, poking him in the chest.

Sun grins at him, eyes sparkling.

“Don’t worry, pretty,” he says easily. “That won’t be happening.”

“How often do you feed?” Big asks him, realizing that he knows nothing about Sun’s feeding habits. He never questioned how the man was always full of blood, ready to feed him.

“Twice a week,” Sun answers. “On Mondays and Thursdays.”

“And do you…” Big licks his bottom lips nervously. He doesn’t know what he will do if Sun admits to fucking humans. Big didn’t even think about it. What if Sun has been fucking the humans he feeds from? A painful squeeze in his chest lets him know it won’t be an easy pill to swallow. “Do you…?”

“Do I what?” Sun asks him, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Big’s ear. Then his pupils expand in understanding. “No, I don’t fuck them. I don’t really get aroused during.”

“You don’t?” Big questions stupidly, hope threatening to burst his chest.

“No, pretty,” Sun says, his pouty lips forming a small smile. “It’s been years since I fucked a human. I always had a very peculiar taste.”

“You like it when someone feeds from you,” Big announces, now sure of his conclusion.

“Yes,” Sun admits, something flashing in his eyes. “I like the thought that I’m helping someone, not only taking and taking. It’s completely primal. I like providing for my lovers, being their source of life.”

“Oh,” Big breathes out, feeling his cock twitch. “Does the venom even work for vampires? Is it pleasurable for you?”

“The venom helps with the pain for sure, but it’s not as potent,” Sun tells him. “It doesn’t overwhelm me. It’s easier for me to stay in control than it is for humans.”

Big swallows, wondering how it would feel to be bitten. If he would like it.

“Can I ask you some questions now?” Sun asks, moving his leg so it touches Big’s. Big secretly loves that Sun is like velcro, always needing to be close. Always touching, kissing, and caressing him.

“Mm,” Big hums, fluffing the pillow under his head.

“Why don’t you want to feed from humans?” Sun asks him, voice soft and gentle.

Big knew this question was coming and is surprised Sun has been this patient with him. It’s not something Big has ever shared with anyone, not even the Theerapanyakuls know. The clan only knows he’s been living on the streets for some time, feeding off of humans and leaving a bloody mess behind. That’s how he got recruited. That’s also how he recruits new members now. Vampires without families and purpose make the best and most loyal bodyguards. When you give them a purpose, a meaning to their life, it makes them loyal. Big knows that’s why he was approached by Kinn.

“I’m fucked in the head,” Big answers, looking Sun in the eyes. He owes him the truth after everything Sun has done for him. The man never demanded anything in return. He deals with Big’s inability to feed like a normal vampire, shows understanding for his crying during sex, and is the most supportive person in Big’s life. If there’s someone he owes the truth to, it’s him.

“Big,” Sun chastises, rubbing his foot over Big’s calf.

“No, it’s true,” Big says with a laugh that sounds fake even to his own ears. “When I first became a vampire, I was known as Specimen 9. I was one of the unlucky bastards that got snatched off the streets. I was walking home from a club. It was an operation run by some rich fucker that wanted to gather as much information about vampires as possible. At least that’s what I gathered. They took me, made a vampire bite me and pushed me inside a cage. They were running tests on me and the other vampires that were there with me, checking how we behaved right after turning.”

Sun is staring at him with complete shock and disbelief.

“What the fuck?” He mutters, looking surprised when the words leave his own lips. “Sorry, I just… That sounds absolutely horrible. Barbaric.”

Big presses his lips together, because being there felt like a nightmare. It fucked his head for life, but he’s not a hypocrite. He knows that what he does for the Theerapanyakuls could be considered worse for some. He has tortured for information, killed and beat the shit out of people. Both humans and vampires. He has blood on his hands and after over twenty years have passed, he knows life isn’t black and white.

“I was there for about three months,” he continues, not acknowledging Sun’s words. “And the reason I hate feeding from humans is that they starved me, then pushed humans my way. With all types of sickness. Intoxicated, fucked up on different drugs. They wanted to know how it would affect me. I hate how desperate and hungry I was back then, losing my mind over the smell of blood. Sometimes I’d puke the blood back out, unable to stomach it. I don’t recommend feeding on junkies.”

He adds the last part as a joke, but Sun looks far away from laughing. He has a horrified expression on his face, eyes haunted.

“Oh, baby,” he breathes out, reaching out and cupping Big’s cheek with his palm. “That’s completely fucked up.”

“It is what it is,” Big tells him, pushing the memories away. He mostly got over it. Time does really heal wounds. Apart from that little pesky problem of feeding from humans. “It was a long time ago, but I still hate the loss of control during feeding from humans. How the instincts take over and I’m just… mindless.”

“I hate that it happened to you,” Sun tells him, eyebrows furrowing. “Did you ever try looking for the people responsible?”

“They’re all dead,” Big says. He made sure of that. The second he got control back, trained and got resources to go after them, he did. The man responsible was a doctor from a rich family, and Big made sure he suffered. “It was sheer luck that I ran away. They brought in a pretty young girl and one of the women working there wasn’t okay with it. The guys on shift had a big fight, got sloppy. I managed to snatch the keys and opened my cage. They were no match for me, especially because I was starving.”

Big left carnage behind.

“Good,” Sun says, satisfaction shining in his eyes. “Now, come here. I need to hug you.”

Big laughs, but lets himself be pulled into Sun’s arms. He loves how safe Sun makes him feel, even if he’s the deadlier one in their relationship.

***

“Porsche!” Kinn yells, looking pissed off and desperate. The vampire is standing in the middle of the foyer, fists clenched by his sides. “Porsche, don’t go.”

“Fuck off,” Porsche yells back, walking towards the exit. “I need to fucking think for five seconds.”

Big is watching it all while standing at the entrance. He just came back from a job, reminding a casino owner what happens when he tries stealing from Kinn. Big’s suit is stained with blood, knuckles still aching.

Kinn looks like he’s going to grab Porsche and drag him back, but when a loud beeping sound echoes around the building, he just presses his lips together and uses vampire speed to disappear inside the house. They have an alarm system for the sunrises, letting them know the blinds will start going down in exactly two minutes.

Big watches Porsche push the heavy glass door open, a pissed off look on his face.

“Don’t go,” Big says, catching Porsche off guard. The man didn’t even notice him standing there. Big really needs to get inside if he doesn’t want to become burnt toast.

“What?” Porsche snaps at him, clearly angry.

“Don’t go where he can’t follow,” Big explains, pointing at the brightening sky. “The sun will be out in a few minutes and Khun Kinn can’t follow you. It’s not fair.”

Porsche’s nostrils flare in rage, but he curses under his breath and runs a hand through his hair.

“I don’t care about fairness,” Porsche says stubbornly.

Big rolls his eyes at him, side-stepping him and walks inside. He doesn’t want to be stuck outside, and the door is going to close any second now.

“You going back in or not?” Big asks him one last time, holding the door open, when another alarm sounds around them. He hears the sounds of mechanical blinds going down, lights turning on inside the building so it doesn’t become completely dark.

Porsche curses again, but slips back inside, both of them listening to the doors close by the automatic system.

“Now what?” Porsche snaps at him.

Big shrugs, because it’s not his problem.

“I’m going to change and work out,” Big tells him. “You do whatever you want.”

“I’m not going to Kinn,” Porsche mumbles stubbornly, his eyes blazing. Whatever they had a disagreement about, it’s still too fresh for them to talk rationally.

“You can always go and sulk in one of the empty rooms,” Big offers with an eye roll.

Porsche squints at him, for some reason falling into step with him.

“You’re the rudest of the bodyguards,” Porsche announces like it’s supposed to make Big feel some kind of way. He also gets his ass inside the elevator, waiting for Big to choose the floor.

“And?” Big asks him, quirking an eyebrow. “I’m not paid to be nice to people.”

He probably should be nice to Porsche. If there’s one person outside the Theerapanyakul family he should be nice and respectful to, it’s Porsche. Somehow, he had a hunch that Porsche wouldn’t appreciate him kissing his ass. There’s a reason he’s trailing after him like a lost duck.

“Lovely,” Porsche quips. “That’s what I like, spending time with assholes.”

“Takes one to know one,” Big tells him with a sugary sweet smile, stepping out of the elevator as it arrives on his floor. He nods his head to some of the guys as he passes them in the corridor. “And apparently you do, since you could be doing a million other things than going with me, and you still chose to grace me with your company.”

“This place creeps me out,” Porsche says, but he doesn’t look very freaked out. “It’s weird walking around the house without Kinn by my side.”

“You know where to find him,” Big reminds him, opening the door to his room. Porsche steps inside like he has a right to and immediately starts walking around, touching Big’s shit. “Put that down.”

“It’s pretty,” Porsche says, ignoring him and bringing the bracelet he got from Sun closer to his eyes.

Big just sighs in resignation, knowing when to pick his battles. He’s not as bothered as he should be by Porsche touching his stuff. Big picks some workout clothes and goes to the bathroom to change.

“Oh,” Porsche mumbles from the bedroom. “There’s a little sun engraved on it. So cool.”

Big bites his bottom lip, thinking of the watch he got from Sun last week. It’s golden and black, with a sun engraved on the bottom of the watch’s face.

“Seriously, dude, I wouldn’t take you for someone who engraves suns on his shit,” Porsche comments, putting the watch gently down. “You don’t exactly scream ‘warm and welcoming’. No offence.”

“It’s a present,” Big explains with an eye roll. Porsche’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree. “I’m not telling you shit, so don’t even ask.”

“I’ll find out anyway,” Porsche threatens him. “I’m sure Kinn knows all about his bodyguards.”

But then, at the mere mention of Kinn’s name, he goes grumpy again. His teeth clench and eyes become stormy. Whatever Kinn did, Porsche was gonna hold a grudge.

“Go on and ask him,” Big eggs him on, knowing he’s safe for now.

“Fuck off,” Porsche mumbles, but then he starts talking again. “I’d love to punch him, seriously. I think I’d feel much better if I just smashed my fist against his face.”

Big raises an eyebrow at that.

“I wouldn’t recommend that,” he says. “Your hand would just hurt and he would barely feel it.”

“Fucking vampires,” Porsche spits out, running a hand through his hair. Finally, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Where are you going now?”

“I was planning to work out, maybe spar with someone,” Big explains. Constant training is what keeps him from making mistakes in the field.

“Can I spar with you?” Porsche asks, eager at the idea.

“No,” Big laughs, shaking his head. When Porsche shoots him a murderous look, Big explains, “I don’t spar with humans. I’d break your bones without even knowing about it.”

It’s true, Big isn’t used to matching his strength to human fragility. It’s not a concern of his when he’s dealing with them on the job.

“Is there anything I can do?” Porsche asks, looking desperate for something to take his mind off whatever issue he has with Kinn.

“I can teach you how to shoot,” Big offers, deeming it a safe human activity. Knowing how to handle a gun would be good for Porsche, helping him protect himself.

“Deal.”

***

“Not bad,” Big comments, watching the target cardboard of a human body. There are four holes in the center mass, meaning Porsche would probably stop any human that would come at him.

“I’m awesome,” Porsche announces with a wide grin.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Big says just to be a little shit. “It would kill a human, but it wouldn’t stop a vampire.”

“You’re fucking immortal,” Porsche mumbles grumpily. “Of course it wouldn’t stop you.”

“There are ways to stop vampires,” Big tells him, grabbing the gun from Porsche’s hands and putting new bullets in the empty magazine. “Our hearts don’t work, they’re completely still, so it won’t do much damage. Sure, it hurts to be shot, but if you truly want a vampire to go down, even for a few minutes, aim for the head. Brains are the organs that still work and any serious damage to it will shut it down. It will heal after half an hour, but that will buy you time to run.”

“Oh,” Porsche hums. “That’s actually helpful. Thank you. I might use it on that little fucker Kim.”

“Khun Kim?” Big looks up in surprise. What does Kim have to do with anything?

“Mm.” Porsche’s eyes light up with fire. “That little shit is meeting with my brother.”

Big’s eyes widen in shock. He knows Porsche has a younger brother, Porchay. But he had no idea Kim was interested in him. To be fair, he doesn’t keep a close eye on him when Kinn doesn’t order him to. Kim has his own bodyguards, and Big is thankful for it. He would go crazy if he were to work closely with Kim.

“And how’s that Khun Kinn’s fault?” Big asks, because he knows those two things are connected.

“He knew and didn’t tell me,” Porsche says, sounding betrayed.

Big is probably the least qualified person to handle this shit, but here they are.

“And what would you do if he told you?” He asks him, handing him the gun back.

“I don’t fucking know,” Prosche snaps, waving the gun around. Big grabs his wrist and points it at the floor. “Sorry. But I would do something.”

“Would you forbid your brother from meeting with Khun Kim?” Big questions. “Honestly, what power do you have over your brother’s life? Isn’t he already seventeen?”

“It’s creepy that you know that,” Porsche says, once again pointing the gun at Big, before he quickly aims it back at the floor. “Stop trying to reason with me.”

“So you just want to walk around angry?” Big asks, the corners of his lips lifting. “Listen, I’m not good at… whatever this is. And I’m fucking terrible at relationships, but sometimes you just gotta let things run and see where they will end up. Your brother is not in any danger with Khun Kim.”

“Kim being a vampire is a danger in itself,” Porsche tells him. “That and the mafia part.”

“Aren’t you the biggest hypocrite?” Big’s eyebrows go up. “You’re in a relationship with a clan leader who’s a mafia boss. And if that makes you feel better, Khun Kim keeps as far away from the family business as he can.”

“He does?” Porsche looks surprised.

“Yeah.” Big says, not mentioning Kim is probably one of the deadliest members of the clan. “Khun Kim is pursuing his music career. He shows up here once in a blue moon, when Khun Korn summons him.”

Porsche purses his lips before he turns around and fires the whole magazine at the target. Only three bullets hit their mark, but Porsche looks calmer when he turns back around.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I’d like to go to Kinn now. Do you think he knows I’m still here?”

Big nods, swallowing back a victorious smile. He might not be good with people, but he managed not to fuck this up.

“He knows,” Big assures him. “There’s not much Khun Kinn doesn’t know. Do you want me to walk you to his rooms?”

“I think I got this,” Porsche says, bumping his fist against Big’s shoulder. “We should repeat that.”

“Should not,” Big teases him, disarming the gun and putting it on the table.

Porsche laughs, walking to the door and the second he opens it, he stops in his tracks. Kinn is standing on the other side, looking at his wit’s end. It must have been torture for him, knowing Porsche was here and he was unable to hear him. The shooting range is soundproof.

“Kinn,” Porsche says in surprise. “Were you standing here this whole time?”

Kinn just shrugs, meaning he was there probably the second Big and Porsche closed the door.

“Let’s go,” Kinn pleads, looking wary.

Porsche nods, but there’s no more of that hostile air around him, and Kinn must notice it as well. He shoots Big a quick look, but his face doesn’t betray anything. Big just hopes he didn’t overstep.

“Let’s go,” Porsche repeats, grabbing Kinn’s hand with his and yanks him in the wrong direction.

“This way, baby,” Kinn corrects him, making Porsche huff a laugh.

“I swear, I saw less complicated mazes than this fucking house,” he grumbles as they leave, but there’s no bite to his words.

***

“It’s okay, pretty,” Sun whispers in Big’s ear as they walk through Ruby.

The smell of the bodies is overwhelming as always, agitating Big. It’s even worse today, because he’s here to watch Sun feed. He needs to see it with his own eyes. See that Sun doesn’t feel any lust towards the humans he drinks from, to see he’s enough for him. They walk around for another five minutes, as Sun looks for someone suitable.

It’s Monday and Big managed to coordinate his visit to the club just in time for Sun to arrive as well. He’s here to check the books and make sure everything is running smoothly, but no one will be the wiser if he spends half an hour longer in here.

“Her,” Sun says, pointing at a middle-aged woman. Big has no idea if he chose someone physically unattractive just to make Big feel better or if he always goes for people like her. “Are you sure you want to see this?”

“Yes,” Big assures him for the millionth time. They talked about it at length last Tuesday.

Sun nods, squeezing Big’s hand once before he leaves him standing at the bar and approaches the woman. It’s so damn noisy here. Big has trouble hearing what they talk about, but it’s maybe two sentences before Sun points at the VIP section. She nods, letting Sun guide her upstairs. It’s clear it’s not her first time.

Big follows them, walking through the security without any difficulties, and spots them sitting in one of the booths. It’s quieter here, the surroundings not as overwhelming even if the smell of blood is heavy in the air. Big keeps his distance, but he’s still close enough to see everything.

“I’ll bite you now,” Sun explains to the woman. “Your wrist, please.”

Big’s stomach is in knots as he watches Sun lean forward and gently pull the woman’s wrist to his mouth. When Sun opens his mouth wide, fangs glistening, his eyes land on Big. Sun keeps eye contact with him even when he bites through the skin, making the woman twitch violently in the seat. Big hears her pained moan, before her breathing quickens, the venom doing its job. Sun keeps looking at him as he gulps the blood down, one of his hands reaching forward to keep the woman in place as she tries getting closer to him. Big becomes alight with jealousy, but it quickly simmers down when he notices how unaffected Sun is. He’s almost surgical in his feeding, taking measured gulps of blood, looking like he’s counting them in his head. His eyes aren’t hooded with lust, his pupils aren’t expanded. He isn’t turned on like he is with Big. The knowledge makes Big almost faint with relief.

The feeding lasts maybe three minutes, before Sun licks the wound on the woman’s wrist, helping the blood clog up. He thanks her like a true gentleman, before leaving without another glance in her direction. He approaches Big and kisses him right in the middle of the room. The taste of blood in his mouth makes Big whimper needily. It makes him hungry, but he has to wait till tomorrow. He doesn’t have the time today.

“Alright?” Sun asks him, cupping Big’s face with both hands.

“Yes,” Big sighs, closing his eyes and just breathing Sun in as they push their foreheads together.

***

Big squares his shoulders, posture rigid as he rides in the elevator. He doesn’t remember the last time he was so nervous to see Khun Kinn. Maybe during his first month in the compound, then he got used to Kinn’s intense presence.

“Hey,” Ken says, bumping Big’s fist. “Khun Kinn just went in his office. He has a call scheduled in thirty minutes.”

Big nods, because he has Kinn’s schedule memorised. That’s why he chose today to come to him and ask for a favor. The man should be in a good mood, since he spent the whole day in Porsche’s company and work isn’t too intense.

“I got this,” Big tells Ken. “You can go and rest. I think some guys are going out to Ruby.”

“Great,” Ken quips. “I could eat.”

Big waves him away, trying to calm his nerves down. He wants it over and done with. The worst thing Kinn can do is say ‘no’. Ken stands and chats with him for a moment longer, saying something about Pol walking around the place in a pink dress. He got punished for something Big couldn’t focus on.

Once Ken finally goes away, Big raises his fist and knocks on the door, entering after a few seconds.

“Big,” Kinn acknowledges him.

“Khun Kinn,” Big says, lowering his head in a show of respect. “Can I take a few minutes of your time?”

He looks up, instantly noticing how his words made Kinn more alert. The man nods, sitting more comfortably in his office chair, giving his undivided attention. He even puts down the pen he was holding.

Big opens his mouth and closes it a second later, hating himself for the hesitation. He has been psyching himself up for this moment over the last two days, analyzing every possible outcome.

“Just spit it out, Big,” Kinn prompts him.

“Would you allow me to have a phone?” Big rushes out, feeling like he just took a knife and slashed himself open. The vulnerable feeling that follows with the question is one he absolutely hates. He closely watches Kinn’s reaction, the way his eyebrows furrow and lips part slightly in surprise.

“What for?” Kinn asks after a second, quickly composing himself.

Big should have known that asking the question wouldn’t be the worst part. Explaining his reasons will be much worse. He honestly feels like putting his hand in the direct sun would be more pleasurable than this.

“I know that you’re aware of…” Big swallows convulsively, fists balling into tight fists. Big tries again. “I’d like to have a phone so I can keep in contact with Sun. Sun Pakin Wong.”

Kinn doesn’t look surprised to hear that, so he must be well aware where Big spends his Tuesdays these days.

“You know it’s against the rules,” Kinn reminds him, looking completely relaxed. A king on his throne, born to rule. Big’s heart falls to the pit of his stomach. He knew Kinn refusing was a possibility.

“I understand.” Getting the words out takes inhuman strength. Big would like to argue, to beg, but it would get him nowhere with Kinn. When he makes a move to walk away, Kinn starts talking again.

“You look better,” Kinn comments casually, making Big stay rooted in place. “I didn’t think it’s possible, but you have improved. You’re more alert and focused. Doing your job better than ever before.”

“Thank you, Khun Kinn,” Big says, knowing he will appreciate the compliments more when he doesn’t feel like screaming in despair.

“Whatever you do with Sun is clearly working to your advantage,” Kinn says, making Big wince. It’s obvious he’s talking about Big feeding regularly and he knows the blood is coming from Sun. Big would like the Earth to part and swallow him whole. Now. “For over twenty years you have worked for me, you never asked for anything. And I appreciate what you did for me, reasoning with Porsche.”

“Khun?” Big asks, completely confused.

“You’ll be allowed a phone, but it’ll be closely monitored by Arm,” Kinn explains.

“Thank you,” Big says, sounding choked up. He clears his throat, looking Kinn in the eyes. “Thank you, Khun Kinn.”

Kinn nods, picking up his pen. It’s a clear indication they’re done here and Big eagerly leaves the room. He walks outside and stands guard at the door, unable to get rid of the stupid smile on his face. It earns him a few confused looks, but he doesn’t fucking care.

***

The very same night, Arm brought him the newest iPhone.

“You won’t be allowed to do much on it,” Arm explained, handing it over. “Per Khun Kinn’s request, I programmed in the number of Sun Pakin Wong. I added Khun Kinn’s as well. You won’t be able to add another one. Access to the Internet is limited, but it’s there.”

“Thanks, man,” Big told him, not caring about the restrictions. The only reason he needs the phone is to keep in contact with Sun. He doesn’t have the need to mindlessly scroll through social media.

And now Big’s sitting on his bed, clutching the phone in his hand. Butterflies are wreaking havoc in his belly.

Hey, it’s Big. I’m allowed to have a phone, so we can keep in contact.

Big wrinkles his nose as soon as he sends it, because this is way too formal and weird. He can’t take it back though, not when the message shows as sent and read.

Impossible. My Big is not allowed a phone. Who are you?

Big rolls his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. He has a feeling Sun is just fucking with him.

It’s me, stop messing around.

The reply comes almost instantly, If it’s truly you, tell me which part of your body I like best.

Big is now stupidly grinning at his phone.

The mole on my left buttcheek.

Wrong. That’s second best.

My hair?

Sun sends a gif of some girl gasping in shock, followed with, It’s truly you. I never thought you’d join me in the 21st century. Welcome to the amazing world of technology, pretty.

Before Big can tell him what an asshole he is, Sun writes again, Is it safe for you? As delighted as I am to be in contact with you, I don’t want you getting in trouble.

Warmth spreads all over Big’s body.

It’s all good. I asked Khun Kinn for a phone and he said yes.

Just like that? What did you tell him?

The truth.

Big looks at the three dots that appear and disappear for a good minute, his stomach twisting, before his phone finally starts buzzing with an incoming call. It’s Sun.

“Why are you calling?” Big asks him in lieu of a greeting.

“Did you really tell him the truth?” Sun asks, disbelief and hope clear in his voice.

“Yes?” Big says, making it sound like a damn question. “I told him I want to keep in contact with you during the week. He knew about us anyway.”

Sun is quiet for a second.

“You’re fucking amazing,” Sun tells him, sounding light and warm. “Fuck, Big. You keep surprising me, baby.”

Big lies down, keeping the phone close to his ear. For some, it might be just a phone, a normal thing to own. To him, it feels like a luxury. He didn’t think he would hear Sun’s voice for the next five days, and now he can hear it every single day.

“I just asked for a phone,” Big mutters, feeling awkward. He’s well aware that until this moment, Sun was always the one to chase after him, to push him and fight for him. Now Big finally did something to show he cares.

“Whatever you say, pretty,” Sun teases him. There’s a sound of rustling on the other end, before Sun hums and says, “Tell me about your day. I want to hear it all.”

Big rolls his eyes, but does just that. And the whole time he talks, he lies motionless on the mattress, staring up at the white ceiling.

The feeling of utter peace fills him from head to toe. For the first time in forever, Big’s excited for the small eternity that awaits him.

THE END