Archive of Our Own

One of the things Gunwook loves the most in life is getting attention.

It’s not that he didn’t get attention as a kid—quite the opposite, actually. But as a full-blown extrovert, he feeds on the energy others give him, and it never feels like enough. He’d had to find ways to reduce that hunger, and being captain of the basketball team has been the most effective so far. He’s always had plenty of friends and been involved in tons of clubs, but nothing compares to leading something that moves so many people together.

When students wear his jersey around campus, when they cheer for him during the games—that’s what he lives for. He loves being in the spotlight, and he doesn’t feel guilty about it. He was kinda born for this. 

People naturally like him, and he loves the feeling of being liked. But more than anything, he loves the feeling of being seen .

So yeah, he won’t lie, he doesn’t like it one bit when he’s completely ignored by Seok Matthew upon entering the VIP section at the club. Especially considering Matthew told him just last night that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the game—yet he has somehow managed to make it to this club.

Gunwook holds himself back from walking straight up to him and demanding to know what he’s doing here, reminding himself that they’re not supposed to know each other in the first place.

“Congrats, guys!” Gyuvin yells, pulling everyone into a hug. “The game was insane!”

Gyuvin used to play with them, but he got tired of being benched and quit last year. The guy has the perfect body for basketball, but there’s no point in having long limbs when you have zero coordination. Gunwook also knows the only reason he joined the team in the first place was because he found out Ricky loved basketball and he wanted to impress him. Once he caught his attention and they started dating, quitting worked out just fine for him. Now he can spend the games sitting next to his boyfriend instead.

“Thank you for inviting us,” Gunwook says, still trying to figure out what the hell Matthew is doing here of all places.

“But dude, how did you manage to get the VIP?” Dohoon asks, genuinely curious.

“Did you really think your number one fan wouldn’t get you VIP access after qualifying for the state finals? What kind of friend do you think I am?”

Gunwook gives him a look.

“You didn’t pay shit. Ricky definitely organized this.”

Dohoon nods. “That makes more sense. He’s the only one who can pull the strings and have enough money to get a whole VIP reservation.”

Gunwook barely registers the conversation after that, too busy glancing sideways at Matthew.

He’s sitting way too close to a guy Gunwook’s pretty sure he’s never seen before. Matthew’s practically draped over his lap, and Gunwook has no idea what’s going on. Matthew doesn’t belong here. He doesn’t even like this kind of place. So why is he acting like he does?

His eyes are still half-hidden beneath his long bangs and thick glasses. And the outfit he’s wearing? Definitely not party clothes. Everything hangs loose on him, making him look small and fragile—way more innocent than he really is.

Did he get dragged in here?

“Who invited the nerds?” Jongseob asks, bumping into Gunwook as they step fully into the exclusive area.

That’s when Gunwook realizes that it’s not just Matthew. Taerae is here too. And he’s talking to one of Ricky’s older friends. Someone Gunwook actually knows. So again... who the fuck is the guy all over Matthew?

“Maybe they finally decided to lose their virginity?” Dohoon teases, laughing along.

“Don’t be mean! They’re chill. Rik invited them,” Gyuvin says, glancing back to make sure Ricky isn’t listening. “I think he’s friends with the one in glasses. The Canadian guy.”

Gunwook resists the urge to roll his eyes and takes a long sip of his drink. He’s already a little tipsy from the celebration dinner they were having before getting Gyuvin’s message to come here.

But he’s still sober enough to curse internally.

Because if only they knew.

Seok Matthew—the one everyone on campus sees as some awkward, shy virgin who hasn’t even had his first kiss yet? He’s the same person who has Gunwook completely wrapped around his finger. Before him, Gunwook had never looked at a guy that way—had never even considered the possibility. But then he came along, and suddenly, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He’d never imagined he could want someone this much, but he’s completely doomed now. He can’t stop thinking about him. Can’t even look at anyone else.

Seok Matthew, who was experienced enough to teach him more than anyone else ever has.

He’s ruined him for everyone else.

And Gunwook doesn’t know if he loves or hates that everyone else thinks of him as a loser.

His friends move on quickly, mingling with the crowd and reminiscing about the game they just won. After years of falling in the quarterfinals they made it to the finals, but Gunwook can’t focus on anything except the boy across the room.

The boy who didn’t show up to the game, but did show up here. Without telling him.

The one secret he’s keeping from everyone.

Gyuvin steps back into his view again, breaking eye contact and his line of thought.

“I think I fucked up,” he says, taking a nervous sip of his non-alcholic drink. “Ricky’s acting weird around me. Did he say anything to you?”

“About what?”

“About me,” he mumbles, getting closer and dropping his voice lower. “He’s giving me the silent treatment, and I don’t know what I did.”

“Did you forget your seven-week anniversary or something?”

Gyuvin scoffs. “Bro, seriously? We’ve been together for one year, three months, and two weeks. What do you even mean?”

“I don’t know,” Gunwook shrugs. “Get him a strawberry-flavored drink or something and try sweet-talking him for a while. That always works for you guys.”

Gyuvin’s eyes light up at that. “Wait. That’s actually such a good idea. You need to find yourself someone so you can use your own tricks.”

“Whatever, just go. Handle your own drama next time.”

“Love you too!” Gyuvin calls over his shoulder, already running back toward the bar to get his bribe.

Gunwook exhales slowly, then heads to the table where Dohoon and Jongseob are deep in conversation with a couple of their classmates.

As much as he tries to focus on the conversation, he can’t stop thinking about how much he envies what Ricky and Gyuvin have. He’s never craved a relationship before. He’s used to getting the attention he needs from the people around him. It doesn’t matter who it comes from. Friends, family, even strangers.

That had always worked just fine. But lately, something’s been changing. And he has an inkling it has everything to do with the nerd currently half-sprawled on top of that random dude.

Gunwook doesn’t even know how he ended up in this situation. For sure, destiny had something to do with it, because two people with such different circles were never meant to cross paths in the first place.

They met by chance, one afternoon when Gunwook forgot his book in the classroom where Matthew runs his anime club. After that, they somehow became friends and started spending time together. At first it was just things like watching anime or having dinner together. But things escalated quite quickly.

There was something that kept pulling Gunwook back to Matthew, making him desperate to create opportunities to meet again and again.

The hunger for attention, once satisfied by anyone, suddenly narrowed solely on him and after months together, the attention of others wasn’t enough anymore. He needed his attention. He even asked Matthew to attend his games because the cheers of thousands didn’t satiate him. He wanted Matthew watching him.

And it bothers him that he has to keep his mouth shut about it. Pretending nothing new is happening in his life, even though every fiber of his body wants to scream that Matthew is his .

They’re not dating, sure. But they are together.

And it’s true the secrecy and sneaking around had been thrilling at first. But now? It’s just frustrating. Especially when Matthew is getting attention from another dude, and Gunwook can’t even claim what’s his.

It makes his blood boil.

Still, he doesn’t react. Doesn't argue. He keeps sneaking glances at Matthew and the other guy. He watches how easily they talk, and it bothers him more than he’d expected. Gunwook’s never felt jealous of Matthew before—or anyone, really. He’s used to others feeling jealous of him . But the truth is that Matthew’s never given him a reason to be. Until now.

It takes him by surprise the moment Matthew locks eyes with him for the first time that night. He can barely see his eyes behind the glasses because of the darkness and the club’s flickering lights—but he doesn’t need to. He knows he’s looking at him. Once Matthew’s sure Gunwook is watching, he sticks his tongue out slowly, searching for the straw of his drink in an obscene motion, not breaking eye contact.

Just then, the stranger slides an arm around his waist and pulls him closer, leaning in to whisper something in his ear. Matthew laughs, and as quickly as he looked at him, he looks away.

He knows Gunwook’s here. And he’s still acting like a brat.

Still half-listening to the conversation going on around him, Gunwook pulls out his phone and sends a quick text.

me: having fun?

He watches as Matthew grabs the phone and, without giving him another glance, shoves it back into his jeans to keep chatting with the other like nothing happened.

Gunwook sees red.

“Gonna get another drink,” he says to no one in particular, standing up and walking away from the table—heading straight toward them.

He knows Matthew has his own kind of fame by co-leading the college band with Taerae and running the manga club. But the guy he’s with? Gunwook’s never seen him around. And the fact that Matthew might’ve been the one who brought him here, but never mentioned him to Gunwook before? That stings. And it makes him feel insecure.

As Gunwook approaches, Matthew suddenly gets up, dragging the other guy with him by the hand. They both stumble a little as they pass in front of him, then head out of the VIP zone and onto the dance floor.

Matthew’s clearly drunk, but there’s no way he hasn’t noticed just how mad Gunwook is.

Still, he just watches as they disappear into the crowd of dancing bodies and forces himself to take a deep breath. He can’t follow them. He’s not going to be the one making a scene. That’s not how they work.

Instead, he settles on getting a drink at the bar and watching them from afar.

Gunwook’s never seen Matthew like this before. Completely uninhibited in front of a crowd—drunk and dancing like he doesn’t care who’s watching. And it doesn’t feel like him. Matthew usually avoids attention. Or that’s what he thought until today.

Even without extravagant or flashy clothes, he draws glances just by the way he moves. Every movement seems intentional, his body swaying with a kind of slow and sensual ease that has Gunwook gripping hard on the glass. Matthew leans into the other guy, using him to steady himself as they move, their bodies completely in sync. Way too comfortable. Familiar . Like they’ve known each other longer than Matthew and him ever have.

Somehow, it really bothers him that this stranger is seeing a version of Matthew he thought only existed behind doors. The carefree, messy side of him that he only got to see when they were alone, when it was just them.

Gunwook used to think that side was only his to see. But now… he’s not so sure.

The only thing keeping some hope alive is that Matthew keeps glancing back right at him.

He’s insane. That’s the only explanation.

Because even while he’s laughing at whatever the other guy is saying, he keeps locking eyes with Gunwook like he’s daring him to do something about it.

And Gunwook can only clench his jaw and feel his body grow hotter with anger, jealousy, frustration—and want. But he waits, watching as his heart pounds in rhythm with the bass. Waiting for Matthew to get tired of playing games. To stop this bullshit.

Finally, after what feels like forever, Matthew slows down, stumbling on his feet a little. Gunwook feels his body stupidly pull toward him from across the room, but Matthew just grabs his dancing couple’s shoulder for balance. The taller guy laughs at him acting all cute, flashing a sexy whisker smile that makes Gunwook hate him even more.

Matthew stands on his tiptoes and says something to him before turning around and disappearing into the crowd. Alone.

Gunwook leaves his drink behind and exits the VIP area as fast as he can without making it obvious. He notices Matthew wandering a little, clearly stalling, giving him time to follow.

It sends something curling deep in his stomach.

Is he doing everything on purpose just to rile him up?

He follows him toward the back of the club, where the light dims and the music grows more muffled. Gunwook sees the bathroom door close just a second before he reaches it. Matthew has chosen the furthest stall, and the implication of it makes his heart pound in his ears. He doesn’t think—he just grabs the handle and steps inside.

Matthew is waiting for him inside with a stupid smile on his pretty face.

“Gunwookie, what are you doing here?”

That’s all it takes for Gunwook to snap.

He spins them around, cagging Matthew against the door, pulling both of his hands on either side of his head.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Gunwook asks, voice low. His grip tightens around Matthew’s wrists as he waits for a response.

Matthew smirks, umbodered, even as his body trembles slightly from the sudden roughness. “Dancing with a friend? Last I checked, that’s not a crime.”

“Yeah?” Gunwook leans in, his breath brushing Matthew’s skin. He smells different. Like someone else’s cologne. The mere thought of that guy makes him grab him tighter and pull his wrists up, forcing him onto his toes to ease the strain. “You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?”

Matthew’s smirk only widens. He doesn’t look the least bit threatened. Even when Gunwook is the one pinning him, he’s still in control. Like always.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Gunwook exhales slowly through his nose, trying to contain his anger as his hands twitch helplessly. “You’re such a little—”

“What?” Matthew taunts. “A tease?”

Gunwook breaks.

He crashes his mouth to Matthew’s, swallowing whatever smug remark he was about to come next. It’s rough and needy, and he pours all of his frustration and tangled emotions in it.

Matthew’s soft grunt only feeds his need to mark him as only his.

Gunwook lets go of his wrists, grabbing his waist instead to pull them together until their bodies are perfectly aligned. Both of them groan when their cocks press through the fabric of their clothes, friction feeling like heaven.

When they pull apart, Matthew’s lips are all red and swollen, looking sinfully tempting, and Gunwook needs to rest his forehead against his to control himself from kissing him all over again.

“Are you fucking him?”

Matthew hums, tilting his head slightly. “You think I am?”

Gunwook whines. “Matthew—”

“What?”

“Don’t play with me.”

“I’m not,” Matthew says, wetting his lips, his eyes still locked on his.

And then Gunwook says it—too fast, too honest: “You’re mine. Do you understand?”

Matthew smiles. Not a soft one. A real, dangerous one. He leans in, pulling him even closer.

“Am I?”

Gunwook exhales shakily as Matthew sticks out his tongue and drags it along his bottom lip. Slowly.

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing that?”

Gunwook moans when Matthew nips at his lip.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, brain going numb as Matthew licks down to his neck now.

“You need to keep me updated on these things, baby,” Matthew teases between kisses and bites. “I should be the first to know, shouldn’t I?”

This is what Gunwook meant when he said that Matthew had him wrapped around his finger. All that strength he carries in public disappears the second he touches him. No one else has this kind of power over him. And Gunwook doesn’t know where this whole thing is going. But he knows one thing for sure.

He doesn’t want Matthew going back to that guy.

“Say it again?”

Gunwook whimpers, half-ashamed but fully turned on.

“You’re mine.”

Matthew grins, satisfied. “Good boy.”

Gunwook’s vision goes blurry as Matthew sinks to his knees, right in front of him. Glasses still fucking on. He looks up with those pretty, seemingly innocent eyes as he starts undoing Gunwook’s pants.

“Matt, what—”

With the only working brain cell he has left, Gunwook remembers the door is still unlocked, but when he tries to reach for it, Matthew stops him.

“Shouldn’t we—the door is—”

“Leave it open,” Matthew cuts in, voice almost soothing. “Wouldn’t you like it if someone came in and saw us?” he adds, pulling down his jeans and underwear all at once.

Gunwook winces when his cock comes out, hard and aching to be touched.

”You’d love it, wouldn’t you, Gunwookie? Someone catching me here, taking care of you.”

Gunwook groans and Matthew immediately leans in, licking around the head of his cock. Softly, gently. Taking his good damn time in breaking him.

Matthew lets his eyes peek up through his long, thick lashes. “It’s okay, love. I’ll take care of you.”

It’s crazy how much Gunwook loves the shift in power the second they’re alone. In public, he’s the idolized one—the so-called “fuckboy” who should be in charge in situations like this. But here, behind closed doors, he’s always the one who folds. And maybe he should feel ashamed of how easily he submits. But he doesn’t.

Not when Matthew’s tongue feels this good on his dick.

Matthew knows exactly what he likes and he indulges in it. He starts slow, dragging his tongue along the prominent veins on the side of his cock, soft and teasing, while his hand pumps lazily at the base.

He’s messy. He’d always liked it messy.

He lets out an unnecessary amount of spit, drooling down to make the drag wetter and slicker, making Gunwook’s eyelids grow heavy. But he refuses to look away. He doesn’t want to miss any second.

And Matthew knows it. He sticks the tongue out for show, then slaps Gunwook’s cock a few times on it. All of this never breaking eye contact, those devilish doe eyes sparkling.

“Fuck, Matt, fuck.”

He really makes a show of it. Wet, obscene sounds echo off the old tiles of the bathroom.

He can’t believe they’re doing this here. With all of his friends outside. Anyone could walk in and catch them like this. But he doesn’t care. He really doesn’t mind. He’d do anything Matthew asks at this point.

“What baby?” Matthew pouts, feigning concern. “Need you to use your words.”

“Please,” he begs. “Please—please—”

Matthew's eyes shine mischievously. “Tell me,”

“Suck me off.”

“Is this how you ask for things, Gunwookie?”

Gunwook’s face burns. He knows he must already look completely ruined, and he doesn’t even want to start thinking about how he’ll hide it afterward. But he’s too far gone to care.

“Please, hyung,” he begs, desperate. “Can you please blow me?”

“That’s better.”

And without another word, Matthew swallows his cock in one go, covering the places his mouth can’t reach with his hand. Practiced and precise. He sucks hard, tongue swirling as Gunwook becomes a mess of curses and grunts. Matthew keeps bobbing his head, mouth looking obscenely wide around him as he speeds up, spit pooling at the corners of his mouth. Wet and filthy.

But it’s the glasses.

It’s the glasses that make him go crazier. He usually takes them off when they fuck because he hates when they fog or get dirty, but somehow he’s decided to keep them on today. Maybe because doing this here, of all places, wasn’t filthy enough on its own. Maybe because he knew exactly what it would do to him.

“Oh my God,” Gunwook moans, trying not to move. He knows better than to try to control the situation when Matthew is clearly the one wanting to be in charge. “You are so fucking hot.”

Matthew pulls back—making Gunwook whine at the loss—and looks up through the already foggy lenses. Then, he drags his tongue over the tip again in kitten licks, tasting the precum that’s quickly gathered there.

“I thought I trained you better, puppy.” He keeps licking as he speaks, and Gunwook is straight-up losing his mind. “Today you didn’t behave. You need to learn to control your emotions better.”

Gunwook opens his mouth to apologize, but before any sound can leave his lips, Matthew dives in again, pushing forward until it feels like his cock is touching the back of his throat.

There’s no gagging, just steady swallowing, and tongue moving. He looks perfect sucking his cock, those foxy, sultry eyes daring him to break his unsaid rules. Gunwook wants to grab his hair and guide him in and out himself, but he doesn’t. He hasn’t been allowed.

“Fuck, Matt,” he gasps, feeling himself harden even more in Matthew’s mouth, if that’s even possible. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—I just… I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.”

Matthew, even struggling to breath, keeps his calm, steady rhythm that drives Gunwook crazy. He gives him a look before pushing deeper, until his nose roughly misses Gunwook’s base.

“I’m not gonna last,” he tries to warn, voice cracking as he feels the frame of the glasses press over and over against his lower belly. “Matt—I’m so close—”

He feels Matthew smile around him before hollowing his cheeks and sucking even harder.

“You feel so fucking good.”

Gunwook jerks forward instinctively, without meaning to, but Matthew grips his thighs tight, holding him still.

Digging his nails in just enough to create a slight sting of delicious pain, he quickens the rhythm as if he’s understood the silent plea in Gunwook’s body. Every drag of his mouth feels rougher, more desperate, pleasure twisting hot and tight in Gunwook’s belly. His muscles clench, aching with the effort to stay still, to resist the urge to thrust up and fuck Matthew’s mouth himself. His mind blurs, breath hitching as release gets closer with every passing second.

Then, the warmth disappears.

Gunwook blinks down, dazed and panting, cock still throbbing, spit-covered and aching. Matthew’s already rising to his feet, face glistening, hands equally messy.

“W-What—?” Gunwook starts, breathless.

Matthew grabs a few squares of toilet paper and wipes the spit from his cheeks, then his hands. Unbothered. Almost cold.

“Where are you going?”

Matthew doesn’t even look at him at first, calmly adjusting his shirt and tucking his bangs down. But before turning to the door though, he meets Gunwook’s as he slides his glasses back in place.

“You don’t get to be jealous, Gunwook. Not when you don’t even know what you want.”

And just like that, he walks out, leaving him alone in the bathroom—pants still around his ankles, cock still leaking, and heart pounding like crazy in his chest.

If someone asks Gunwook why they were keeping their thing a secret, he wouldn’t know what to say.

It had been a silent, mutual decision. One settled into place after they crossed paths in the campus for the first time in public after meeting and didn’t acknowledge each other. It wasn’t like he was embarrassed to be associated with Matthew. It was more that he wasn't sure how Matthew felt about being seen with him. Still doesn’t.

But now, thinking back on it after all these months, he realizes it was a selfish move. Gunwook knows the moment he makes whatever they have public (even if back then it was only the start of a friendship) Matthew will be in the spotlight. And he’s selfish. He wants him just for himself.

Whatever that means.

He swears it had all started innocently.

Gunwook just found him interesting. As a friend, nothing more.

He started meeting him every Friday after practice and before Matthew’s club started, just to talk about the anime they were both watching at the time. They’d talked until ten minutes before the club began, when Gunwook would leave before anyone else showed up.

Then, when those short breaks didn’t feel like enough, they started grabbing coffee. Coffee turned into dinner. Dinner turned into weekly dinners just to catch up. Not just from anime, but about their lives.

All of it stayed a secret.

What didn’t stay a secret was that he slowly started to see Matthew as more than a friend.

First, as his cute hyung.

Then, as someone too hot for his own good.

And then, he started feeling things that had nothing to do with friendship or admiration.

And Matthew acted on it—adding sex into their weird mix.

Even after months, it still feels surreal.

Matthew had turned out to be completely different in bed from what Gunwook had expected. Yet somehow, he was exactly what he needed. Gunwook had grown tired of always being the one in control. But with Matthew, he wasn’t the one calling the shots. And for the first time in his life, that let him breathe. And enjoy it.

The only downside of all of this, besides the secrecy, is that they never talk about what’s going on between them. They talk about everything except the important stuff. And that's why Gunwook is now still stuck on what happened a week ago in the bathrooms at that club.

They haven’t talked about it.

Not about what happened, not about how Matthew wasn’t there when he went back to the VIP area, and definitely not about the consequences. The consequences being that Matthew hasn’t touched him since. Hasn’t let him touch him, either. And that becomes unbearably difficult when they keep meeting like before, just without the intimacy he so much craves.

And Gunwook doesn’t know how to fix it. Maybe he did something wrong. Maybe he crossed a line.

But he doesn’t know how to ask, because they don’t talk things out.

Still, it’s been eating at him.

Should he bring it up?

Should they try to put their feelings on the table and talk about it?

Because these past days, Gunwook’s been having all these wild thoughts, and he doesn’t know what to do with them anymore.

A hint of an answer comes during his study date with Gyuvin and Ricky. He’d only tried to get Gyuvin to come, but of course it had evolved into him inviting his boyfriend too. Not that he doesn’t like Ricky, all the contrary, but he’s kind of trying to avoid couples for the time being.

Anyway, Ricky is late, and Gyuvin is practically bouncing in place as he tells him about this new game he's been obsessed with lately. Gunwook is trying to listen, but his mind keeps drifting back to Matthew.

"Look who's finally here," Gyuvin says suddenly, stopping mid-sentence as he cranes his neck to look behind him.

Gunwook turns around and nearly chokes on his iced coffee.

Ricky is here.

And Matthew is with him.

What the fuck?

They’ve barely crossed paths in public before, and now it’s like the universe is determined to make them bump into each other all the time. Not ideal for someone trying to stop overthinking and get his thoughts straight.

"Did Ricky tell you he was bringing company?"

"I mean, he’s been hanging out with Matthew a lot lately. Do you remember him from the party?"

"Yeah, I do." Gunwook flinches at how quick the answer leaves his mouth and tries to cover it up. "I think I do."

"Yeah, well, they’ve been hanging out quite a lot lately because apparently they’ve always shared a class," Gyuvin says, gesturing toward the bar where Ricky and Matthew are ordering drinks. Gunwook watches them, his eyes drawn helplessly to the shorter one.

He looks unfairly good in denim, and Gunwook’s heart does something humiliating in his chest. How is he supposed to concentrate with him there? Also, why didn’t he tell him about Ricky? Why is he hiding so many things from him lately?

"Are you listening?"

"Oh—yeah, sorry. Tell me."

"I was saying they bonded over English. Apparently, Matthew’s from Canada, so Ricky can actually chill around him.”

"Yeah, I remember you told me he was from Canada back at the party."

Gunwook mentally pats himself on the back for sounding so casual.

"Yeah... Do you think I should be worried?" Gyuvin asks, sounding a little anxious now as his eyes flick between them.

"No."

Again. Too fast. Way too certain for someone who isn't supposed to know Seok Matthew like that.

What’s wrong with him?

Gyuvin, who never notices these things, somehow does notice his misstep this time and eyes him, suspicious.

"Uh... you seem pretty sure about that."

"I mean, you’re more than capable of keeping an eye on your boyfriend, aren’t you?"

"Sure, but who keeps Matthew in check?"

Gunwook has to physically restrain the pronoun from slipping out, but thankfully he doesn’t have to come up with a comeback, because Ricky and Matthew arrive at the table just then.

"Hi, baby," Ricky says, sliding in the chair next to Gyuvin and pulling him close for a kiss.

Gunwook looks away as they lean further into the kiss, only to find Matthew standing awkwardly next to the empty chair on his right.

"Hello," he says carefully, eyes a little shy behind his glasses. He looks so cute.

“Hi.”

Matthew finally sits down beside him, and for a few seconds, it’s just the hum of the conversations of other people and Ricky whispering something probably dumb and stupid into Gyuvin’s ear. Matthew pulls out a few books and notes from his bag, then glances at Gunwook like he wants to say something. But he doesn’t. 

“Gunwook,” Ricky chirps suddenly, making him jump on his seat a little, “this is Matthew. He’s in the university band. Matt, this is Gunwookie. He’s the basketball team captain I told you about.”

Gunwook turns to him with a tight smile. Matthew’s too close, and it makes every nerve in his body alert.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Matthew says, offering a hand with just enough hesitation to make it seem like they haven’t already seen each other many other times—and a lot less clothed.

“You too,” Gunwook replies, taking his hand.

It’s always the same. Matthew’s hand easily disappears inside his like it belongs there. Unfairly soft and small, against his bigger one.

He holds it a second too long before letting go.

Matthew’s dark eyes flicker for a second. But Gunwook catches it. The way his lashes dip, the slight twitch of his fingers when he sets his hands on his lap, like he didn’t want to let go either.

After some easy conversation, they all settle into their study tasks. Gunwook opens his laptop and pretends to focus on his notes. But who is he kidding?

He’s been reading the same fucking sentence for three solid minutes when he feels Matthew’s leg brushing against his under the table.

He waits for him to pull away just because it could have been accidental.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he presses it more firmly into his.

Gunwook takes a sip of his drink, forcing himself not to look. But his body is already reacting—tensing and relaxing all at once. It’s interesting how the slight contact makes him feel a little better, but at the same time makes him crave more .

Matthew doesn’t even flinch, still focused on his reading. His touch is quiet but steady. Like always.

And maybe that’s the problem.

Matthew’s leg stays pressed against his, warm and grounding. Like he wants him to know he’s here. As if he could ever forget.

At some point, after confirming that Gyuvin and Ricky are absorbed in their own world, Gunwook dares a glance—only to find Matthew already watching him.

He looks so innocent, Gunwook understands right on the spot why people call him a squishy nerd. Really. If he hadn’t experienced it firsthand, he would’ve also been fooled by that persona too, and never guessed what Matthew’s like when he really lets go.

Gunwook exhales softly, trying to collect himself and focus back to work. But a ping and a bubble appear in the top right corner of his screen, interrupting his lame effort.

It’s a message. From Matthew

mashu: i’m staying over tonight.

Gunwook’s heart stutters and his cheeks grow hotter instantly.

Matthew hasn’t stayed over since the bathroom incident. Which can only mean one thing.

When he clicks the message, trying to pretend the sender isn’t sitting right next to him, another one follows—instantly appearing in the same annoyingly perfect font.

mashu: get cleaned up and ready before i get there, will u?

He shudders visibly this time. He’s not being fucking serious. Gunwook needs to close his eyes for a second, but he’s already spiraling.

No more messages come because none are needed.

Usually, Matthew prefers being the one pressed under him. Even if he still orders Gunwook around, he gets so freaking responsive under his touch that Gunwook almost always prefers it that way. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been topped before.

They’ve switched a few times already, and it’s always been insanely good. During those times, Matthew lets go more than usual and makes him feel small in his hands. Soft and pliant. It’s as crazy as it is addictive. He loves the feeling of being completely submissive, letting Matthew take control of every movement in a way he can’t fully replicate when it’s the other way around.

And apparently, that’s what Matthew wants tonight.

Gunwook looks at him trying to be subtle only to find Matthew pretending like he didn’t just send that message to him. He’s got his chin resting in one hand, scrolling through his phone like he’s doing actual research for his paper or something.

Gunwook is about to lose his fucking mind here.

Gyuvin says something—he doesn't catch what—and Ricky laughs into his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Gunwook manages a nod, hoping it passes for a response.

Then he feels it. Matthew shifting beside him. Adjusting his leg and pressing it back against Gunwook’s as he reaches up to fix his damn glasses.

He exhales slowly, jaw clenched.

This study session?

Absolutely. Fucking. Doomed.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.••. ••.•┈••✦

Gunwook has everything ready. The only thing missing is Matthew. And it’s already half past nine.

He’s late. And he’s not answering his messages either.

Just as he’s about to call him, he hears a few knocks at the door and rushes to open it.

He still doesn’t know how they’ve managed to keep this as a secret—especially when he lives in a single dorm room where everyone’s always around. But that’s not his number one concern right now. Not even his tenth.

Matthew looks crazy handsome .

“Hi, gorgeous.”

Gunwook doesn’t really react to Matthew’s quick but soft peck, or to the way he waves a plastic back filled with what looks like food from Gunwook’s favourite restaurant.

“Hi,” he manages to croak.

Matthew grins at that and pinches his cheek.

“You’re too cute, Gunwookie. Are you hungry?”

If we’re being honest here… he is hungry. But maybe not for food.

“Yes?”

“That’s what I thought.”

Matthew walks straight into his small bathroom and pulls out the folding table Gunwook keeps for nights like this. He’s saying something about his band rehearsal, but Gunwook isn’t really listening. His ears grow hotter and hotter as Matthew moves through the very space he used not so long ago to prepare himself for him.

What’s he doing?

Wasn’t he supposed to fuck him?

“Wookie!”

Gunwook snaps back to reality and looks up at him.

“Yes! Sorry, what were you saying?”

Matthew lets out a soft laugh.

“Bed or floor?”

For a second, Gunwook wonders if he means where he wants him. But Matthew is clearly talking about the food still in his hands.

“Whatever you prefer.”

They end up sitting on the floor, backs resting against his bed, ready to eat the food Matthew brought for him. As they unwrap the side dishes, Gunwook decides to put one of his worries over the table.

“So now you’re friends with Ricky.”

Matthew smiles but keeps getting the food ready as he talks. “Yeah, that’s crazy, right? He never talked to me before, and now he seems to like me.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Gunwook says, trying to keep it light but trying to make clear that he’d have liked to know beforehand. He also feels anxious about Matthew’s tone. He seems really pleased to be liked by Ricky.

Matthew taps his chopsticks against the lid of the kimchi container a few times, until it breaks.

“Well, it’s only been recently that we’ve talked more. He’s so nice. The thing is, I feel a little bad because I already know him from you, and I need to act like I don’t.”

Gunwook nods, slowly. “You talk about me?”

“Not really,” Matthew answers after a while. “I mean, that would be too obvious, right?”

Gunwook hums quietly, digesting that. Then Matthew’s already moving on—grabbing his iPad from the bed and setting it on the edge of the table.

“You mind if we put something on? We could watch a Pokémon episode.”

Gunwook blinks at his bright and adorable smile.

“Now?”

“We still have three more to catch up on, and I’ve been dodging spoilers for days.”

Gunwook knows better things they could do instead of watching anime, but still—

“Episode twenty-five?”

“Yup.” Matthew smiles, taking another bite of their shared kimchi jjigae. “Are you happy I brought your favorite?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Matt.”

“Kiss?”

Gunwook leans in and kisses him softly.

It’s not that Matthew never acts this sweet—it’s just that every time he does, it breaks something in him. It contrasts so beautifully with how bossy he gets when they have sex that it makes Gunwook want him even more.

He opens the app and prepares the episode while Matthew goes and fetches some drinks from his minifridge. They both lean back together once everything’s ready. Gunwook stretches his long legs under the table and picks up his chopsticks and bowl.

They’re watching anime.

Anime.

When they were supposed to be having crazy sex.

Is this meant to be foreplay of some sort?

He’s confused. And frustrated. Not just sexually (though, yeah, a little), but because Matthew’s acting like nothing’s different tonight. Like Gunwook didn’t spend a good while making sure he was perfect for him to take.

But at the same time, he hates how good it feels to be with him like this. It feels safe. It feels right.

And that’s the problem.

He doesn’t know what he wants anymore. Or what he needs .

Fifteen minutes later, their food’s mostly gone, and Gunwook’s feeling everything . Every soft brush Matthew gives him, every laugh and every casual little kiss.

The older one stretches, shirt riding up just enough to reveal a sliver of skin.

“Should we do one more?”

Gunwook stares.

“You want to?”

Matthew nods and grabs Gunwook’s hand, pulling them up. Then he undoes the bed in one swift motion and slips inside.

It’s almost spring, but it still gets cold at night. Perfect cuddling weather, if you ask him.

Gunwook joins him soon after, and Matthew leans in to kiss his temple. Then he hands him his phone. “Put it on here, so it’s easier for you to hold.”

They curl up under the sheets—Gunwook with the phone in one hand, Matthew’s head resting on his collarbone, arm wrapped around his chest. The opening theme starts again.

Gunwook barely hears it, his heart racing. Everything’s too much and not enough at the same time.

He holds still until the end of the episode, knowing how seriously Matthew takes watching things through. As the ending theme begins, he blurts out what he’s been thinking since he got into his room:

“Weren’t you supposed to fuck me tonight?”

Matthew stills.

For a second, Gunwook thinks he’s ruined it. That maybe he just had to wait a little longer to get his reward.

But then, he feels a kiss on the corner of his jaw. Slow.

“Took you enough to ask.”

Gunwook twists around to look at him.

“What?”

“You see,” Matthew whispers, “I like it when you’re submissive. Especially when we’re in bed.”

Gunwook shivers.

“But I need you to be more vocal about what you want, baby. Not just wait around for me to decide,” he says, voice low but purposeful. “I want you to feel like you have a say. Because you do.”

Gunwook swallows hard. He hates how warm he gets every time Matthew calls him baby .

“I want you,” he rumbles, already turning his body to face him.

Matthew smiles. Slow and devastating.

“Good. Then tell me how you want me.”

“Matthew, please...”

“Did you get ready for me?”

“Yes.”

“How many fingers?”

“Three…”

“Show me.”

Matthew gets up from the bed and heads to the desk, grabbing the bottle of lube that’s just sitting there for anyone to see. Blame him for leaving it out—there’s barely room for anything else in his stupidly small room. When he returns, his glasses already forgotten somewhere behind, he tugs Gunwook’s pants and underwear down, leaving him half-dressed. But he doesn’t seem to care about that. His eyes are already locked on his naked ass—hungry for what’s coming next.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

Gunwook extends his hand and lets him squirt some lube into it. He manages to warm it a little between his fingers before he eases one inside. Even though he’d prepped earlier, the stretch still makes his whole body tremble. He’s not sure he’ll ever get fully used to this feeling.

Matthew watches in silence. But after a few slow pumps, he grows impatient.

“Did you lie to me, Gunwook? Didn’t you say three?”

“Mhm,” Gunwook nods, breath catching as he pushes in a second finger. From this angle, he can’t reach his prostate and it only makes him feel desperate for more. He bites his lip and closes his eyes, trying to somehow reach his sweet spot. But he just can’t.

“Struggling with two already, baby?”

Gunwook doesn’t answer. He just keeps going. In and out. In and out. It’s not his first time doing this in front of Matthew, but it still feels like too much—being this exposed, this vulnerable.

And then he feels it. Matthew pressing a third finger in beside his two. The stretch makes his stomach clench, and the way the new finger starts pumping with the others makes him flinch with pleasure.

“God, Matt, what are you—fuck , what—”

“I’m bored, puppy. Let me help.”

Matthew’s soft eyes are gone now. They’ve probably been gone for a while. When they fuck, they always turn into this half-lidded and focused version. Predatory even . And Gunwook loves it. He just lets him take over. He knows he could fight back, but he doesn’t want to.

Matthew pulls Gunwook’s fingers out, coats his own with lube, and slams them in. Three at once.

“Matthew!”

“Take your tee off, babe,” he orders, his fingers thrusting harder, stretching him wide.

Gunwook fumbles to strip, cursing and moaning as Matthew slams his fingers deep, somehow hitting all the right places despite having way smaller digits. Once he’s bare, he looks up, waiting for his praise.

Matthew only smirks. Then pins him down with one hand as he scissor-fucks him with the other. As if he needed the extra prep.

“Ah! Please, Matt. I’ve been waiting all day for you. Please.”

Matthew keeps going on for a little while more before finally pulling out. Then, he starts to undress himself.

Gunwook tries to sit up to help, but Matthew presses him flat against the mattress, straddling him instead. When his still-clothed ass grinds against Gunwook’s bare cock, a loud moan escapes him.

“Shit , please—hurry.”

“You’re not being very nice today, Gunwookie,” Matthew hums. “Don’t make me punish you again.”

“No—please,” he whimpers, remembering too well how it felt to be left aching. Matthew grins like he knows exactly what he’s thinking about, then pushes their lips together in a suffocating kiss.

Gunwook’s already all over the place, and they haven’t even started with the real thing yet.

Once Matthew decides they’ve kissed enough, he resumes taking the last of his clothes off. Gunwook can only stare. He’s so hot. All of him. He’s strong but soft at the same time, his body creamy and inked in all the right places. A walking fucking dream.

“Hyung, please, I need you now .”

“You’re such a good boy, aren’t you? Asking nicely for what you want.”

Gunwook pouts and nods, as the obedient puppy he’s learned to be for him. And it works like a charm.

“Let’s give you a treat, hmm?”

Matthew doesn't rush. He presses in slowly, letting him adjust. Even like that, Gunwook feels every inch enter, slow and deep. He clenches on his cock and his eyes roll back as he grabs helplessly at the sheets.

“Keep going, Matt. All the way—please.”

Matthew exhales shakily and complies, hips stilling when he bottoms out. 

“You’re always so tight for me, babe. Feels good?”

Gunwook nods quickly, whining. Still, Matthew gives him time to adjust. But he obviously can’t wait any longer, so he thrusts back, making Matthew groan deep in his throat. 

“Gunwook…”

He tries again, but Matthew grabs his thighs, stopping him. Then, using his grip as leverage, he spreads him open and pulls out, leaving only the tip inside—only to slam back in with more force than before.

Then again.

And again.

Matthew builds a steady rhythm, fucking Gunwook with unforgiving precision. Gunwook’s limp body rocks back and forth with every deep push of the older, completely lost at the attention he so much craves. He loves feeling so small under him. Loves how Matthew’s biceps flex as his grip tightens. He knows he’ll bruise from how hard his thighs are being held—but he loves it.

But just as quickly as good things begin, they end.

Matthew stops without any warning pulling out completely, his eyes fixed on Gunwook with a growing smirk.

“You really thought it’d be that easy?”

Gunwook blinks, confused.

What did he do?

“You’re back to staying quiet?” Matthew taunts. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“I don’t—”

“You don’t understand a thing, don’t you?” Matthew interrupts, untangling their bodies and leaning back against the headboard, right next to Gunwook, who’s still trying to figure out what to do next.

His empty hole gaps into nothing, aching to be filled again. And his cock is leaking so much it’s starting to get embarrassing. But he’s too turned on to care. And not only just from the need of Matthew’s cock driving him wild, but the unbearable tension of not knowing what he’s planning to do next.

“Matt…”

“You keep addressing me disrespectfully,” Matthew says, eyes sharp. “And still haven't figured out what has me so pissed off. You’re really disappointing me, Gunwook.”

Gunwook suspects something happened before the party for him to behave like that. And he knows Matthew is still mad about it—not just because of how he acted in that bathroom, but also because of the weeks that followed under the no-touching agenda. What he wasn’t expecting was for him to bring it up so explicitly.

The thing is, he still doesn’t know what the problem is.

“I’m sorry, oppa ,” he manages to say, lowering his gaze with practiced submission as he clumsily rises to his knees, facing him.

“What are you sorry about, puppy?” Matthew asks, starting to jerk off slowly, eyes never leaving him.

Gunwook feels his cock throb at the sight.

He doesn’t have an answer, so he does what he does best: he stays silent. He just stares at Matthew’s cock, his mouth practically watering.

“You have no idea, do you?”

Gunwook looks at him. His cheeks must be flushed cherry red by now, and he knows how much Matthew loves them. So he silently pleads with his best fuck-me-please face.

But this time, it doesn’t work.

“You don’t deserve to be fucked anymore, Gunwook. Not until you realize what you did.”

Gunwook whines at that, his legs vibrating with need. There’s no way he can figure it out now. Not with Matthew stroking himself like that, not with his cock and hole begging for attention, and not when every inch of him aches with want.

Matthew extends his hand and yanks him closer by grabbing a fistful of his hair.

“Look at you,” he sneers, eyes narrowing. “Just a dumb little hole with no thoughts waiting to be filled.”

Gunwook closes his eyes at the words. The pain in his hair only sharpens the heat rolling though him at Matthew’s words. He doesn’t say a word. He can’t. Not when he doesn’t have anything right to say.

“You’re just going to let me jerk off while you’re just kneeling there like a bitch in heat?” Gunwook’s body trembles again. He’s looking at him like he owns him. And at this moment, nothing feels more true.

“Is that what you are, puppy? A needy little whore who doesn’t know how to beg properly?”

A whore?

He’d never said anything like this before.

There’s always a little game with them, and it’s always Matthew the one in control in bed. But this? Matthew’s not playing. He’s punishing him.

And fuck. Gunwook is struggling to keep himself composed in front of him.

Because he needs to be good for him. He needs Matthew’s full attention and he can’t stand the idea that he might be mad at him.

But damn. At the same time, he’s loving every second.

How fucked up is that?

Matthew pulls his hair rougher, forcing him to come back to the conversation.

“Color?” he asks abruptly, when their eyes lock again.

“Green,” Gunwook says without hesitation.

“Good. Then ride it,” Matthew hisses. “If you really need it so badly, fuck yourself on it.”

Bliss and embarrassment flood through Gunwook all at once, making him whimper helplessly. He can’t believe this is happening. He didn’t expect the night to turn like this. A few seconds pass until he starts moving.

He climbs Matthew’s lap with shaky thighs, still unsure about what’s expected of him. Is this a test? Is he not supposed to ride him?

Matthew doesn’t move or say anything. Just watches him, expectantly.

Gunwook reaches down blindly, grabs Matthew’s cock, and guides the tip to his rim, rubbing around until he finds it.

“Hurry up,” Matthew warns, voice tight and restrained.

Gunwook exhales heavily as he starts to sink down. Slowly. This position always makes him feel too much . Matthew’s face is too close, his scent everywhere. Even though his hands aren’t gripping his waist the way they usually do, Gunwook still feels his presence too strong, so he takes his time.

But Matthew has other plans.

“I said—” he snarls before grabbing his waist with one hand and the back of his neck with the other, jerking him down just as he thrusts up. “—hurry up.”

Gunwook cries out, overwhelmed at the sudden intrusion that splits him open again all at once. His fingers dig into Matthew’s shoulders as his head drops to the curve of his collarbone.

But Matthew doesn’t let him stay there.

“Don’t play games,” he growls, fisting Gunwook’s hair and pulling him up. “Either you start fucking yourself properly, or we’re done here.”

Gunwook sobs brokenly, clenching around him at the words. But nods and starts bouncing on his cock. It feels like too much at once.

“Good boy,” Matthew finally whispers, and all of Gunwook’s body trembles at the praise. “Now ride me like you mean it.”

Gunwook rolls his hips up and down steadily. He doesn’t wait to adjust to the stretch again, he just moves and lets his body feel everything.

And Matthew?

He doesn’t help him in any way.

He doesn’t thrust up more.

He doesn’t fucking move.

He just lies there, staring at him and monitoring his movements. Ready to jump at any mistake.

Gunwook maintains a good pace for a while, but soon his thighs start to burn. He wants to be good for him. He needs to. But he’s starting to get sloppy. And Matthew notices.

“Getting tired?” he asks, looking unaffected by the whole scene playing out before him. “What happened to the renowned captain of the basketball team? I thought you could handle much more, big boy.”

“Oppa...” Gunwook pants, hands faltering on his shoulders. “Please—help me.”

Matthew raises an eyebrow. “You want help?”

He leans forward just slightly, and the shift in angle makes his cock hit a different spot as Gunwook sinks down, pulling a string of incomprehensible noises from his mouth.

“What would your groupies think,” Matthew says softly. Gunwook starts trembling, already bracing for the words that are about to come, “if they saw you like this? Begging for cock. Riding it like your life depends on it.”

A whiny whimper escapes Gunwook’s lips, feeling desperate, as lube starts dripping down his thighs while he struggles to keep going.

“Fuck,” he breathes, close from breaking. “Oppa, please…”

Matthew tsks.

“Who would believe it?” he says instead, voice dripping into something darker. “The captain of the basketball team, the campus fuckboy—on his knees for the nerdy virgin.”

Then, with one brutal and unexpected thrust up, he punches the air out of Gunwook’s lungs.

“Begging him to fuck you right.”

Gunwook feels his tears building up. He feels so good, but he cannot keep with this much longer. His body and mind are getting to their limit, and he isn't sure how much more he can’t take.

Suddenly, Matthew grabs his waist and lifts him up just enough to flip them over. Gunwook’s back hits the mattress as he feels his legs being spread up wide.

“You’re useless.”

He thrusts in hard, burying himself in one deep stroke. His mind goes blank. His hands grip the sheets as Matthew starts to fuck him properly, hips hitting his prostate with precision and rage.

This change is exactly what he needed—Matthew fully claiming him even when he’s still not been able to figure out what he did wrong. The flood of emotions makes him sob all over again.

Then, he suddenly speaks, voice close to a growl.

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“Ah—ask about what?” Gunwook gasps, arching off the bed as Matthew keeps thrusting non-stop.

“The guy at the party,” he snaps, angling even deeper if that’s possible. “You were clearly annoyed. But you didn’t ask. You still haven’t.”

Gunwook moans at the tone he uses. He feels overwhelmed and exposed, but he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say. Matthew pauses, keeping his full length inside him when he realizes Gunwook isn’t going to respond. With one hand, he grabs Gunwook’s face and forcefully pulls their faces together.

“That was a question, puppy. You need to answer.”

Matthew slides his hand down to his neck, pressing lightly, coaxing him to speak as he ruts into him slowly, rolling his hips in steady circles.

“I don’t know, oppa—” Gunwook whimpers, overwhelmed as Matthew keeps grinding into him, balls deep. He feels so full, it’s impossible to think about anything but how good it feels to have him inside.

“Then think about it while I fuck you.”

It’s easy for Matthew to return to the rhythm he had moments ago. Only now, he moves rougher, fucking Gunwook into his old mattress. He moans helplessly, trying and failing to gather his thoughts.

“I don’t know!” he cries eventually. Matthew eases up on his throat, letting him breathe. “We just—we don’t talk about these things, Matt!”

“But I want you to!” Matthew shouts back, his voice breaking a little with frustration. “I need you to talk to me.”

Gunwook trembles beneath him, tears slipping from his eyes lamely. Matthew slows down, just a bit, and leans down to kiss him.

Soft this time. Careful.

But he doesn’t stop moving—like it’s the only thing keeping them grounded.

“I’ll try,” Gunwook chokes out, voice cracking between grunts. But he can’t form any more words.

Matthew leans in and kisses him again, seemingly content with his answer. Gunwook feels his lips pulse against his, warm and full. He’s kissing him slow and soft. The kiss lingering longer than the others, feeling possessive and claiming and sweet at the same time. And Gunwook loves every second of it.

Without slowing the rhythm of his hips, Matthew wraps a steady hand around his needy cock, making him crumble at the mere touch. When he starts stroking him, matching the pace he’s fucking him with ridiculous precision, Gunwook knows he’s not gonna last much longer.

“I’ll try too, baby.”

Gunwook doesn’t know if it’s the words or the way Matthew moves—but he feels like he’s going to fall apart.

“Matt,” he sobs. “I’m so close.”

“It’s okay,” Matthew says, squeezing his waist with his free hand. Comforting and stabilizing him. “I got you.”

Gunwook moans as his body clenches impossibly tight around Matthew. He tries to stifle his sounds a little, but he’s too far gone. He begins chanting Matthew’s name as he comes into his hand.

“Fuck, baby, there you go.”

His mind goes completely blank—only to come back to reality when he feels Matthew’s cum spill inside him. He’s terribly oversensitive now, trembling like crazy, but he feels so full and warm and good he might start crying again.

Matthew slows, then stills over him, leaning to press a soft kiss to Gunwook’s temple before pulling out, making him whimper a little at the loss. They lay next to each other, evening their breaths as they come down from their high.

It is Matthew the one who reaches for a towel some minutes later, gently wiping him down before climbing back into bed. He wraps his arms around Gunwook’s middle, pulling him close and tucking his face against his chest. Turning smaller. Cozier.

They stay quiet for a while as Gunwook tries to sort through everything he’s feeling. But there’s way too much to unpack. He settles on just breathing, instead. Today’s been a rollercoaster, and ending it like this only adds more emotions to the mix.

Matthew presses his nose into the side of his neck, sending goosebumps across Gunwook’s whole body. He rubs his cheek against his hair in response and breathes him in. He smells so good. He’ll never have enough.

“It was Hanbinnie-hyung, Gunwookie.”

Gunwook blinks slowly. His voice was a little muffled by the position he’s in, but he thinks he’s heard him right. Still, he asks. “What?”

Matthew presses his nose deeper into his collarbone, like he’s trying to hide. The duality of this man is going to kill him one day.

“What do you mean, Matt?” he insists. 

Matthew groans a little, but pulls his head out of him before speaking again.

“The guy at the party was Hanbin-hyung.”

Realization hits him like a fucking tsunami. What the hell is wrong with him?

Gunwook had been grudging over Matthew being with his best friend. It’s true that he’d never actually seen Hanbin before—but he knows enough to remember that they've been best friends since forever. And that Hanbin has been dating someone else for years . Matthew never stops referring to them as his “adoptive parents.”

And there was Gunwook, feeling jealous when there wasn't even a real threat to worry about.

“Ah…”

His cheeks burn with embarrassment as Matthew shifts and starts caressing his chest with his fingers.

“And for the record,” he says after a while, “I did go to the semifinals. I got there late, but I made it.”

Gunwook’s eyes widen at that.

“You did?”

“Yeah, I was there.”

Gunwook moves a little, so he can look him in the eyes. Matthew resists a little at first, but eventually gives in.

“Why didn’t you stay?”

Not that they hug after games or anything. But it always feels good to look back at the crowd and find him there. Proud eyes and cheeky smile.

“I just saw you interacting with the fans that came to see you,” Matthew says plainly.

Gunwook waits for him to go on.

It’s true he doesn’t usually get attention like that, but with the finals coming up, more people had noticed their team. And Gunwook was hard to miss. That group of girls had come from another university solely to watch him play and it obviously made him feel proud and grateful for the support, so he spent a while taking pictures and talking to them. He had no idea Matthew there too.

“I didn’t really enjoy that,” Matthew admits, quieter now. “So I left before you could see me. But I’m really proud of you for making it to the finals, Gunwook. Sorry I didn’t tell you until now, and I’m sorry if I overstepped today I—”

“Matt...”

“No, Gunwook. Let me say this.”

He takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“I went a little crazier than usual, and I shouldn’t have done that without asking first.”

Gunwook's hand finds Matthew’s bare arm, and starts stroking it slowly in circles with the tips of his fingers, trying to make him feel comfortable enough to keep talking. It means the world to him that he’s saying this.

“I’ve been on edge lately,” he continues, his voice sounding defeated, “because you haven’t brought up the other night. Or the fact that I’ve been kind of avoiding you these days. And I’m sorry, because the way I handled my emotions today wasn’t fair. But it was the only way I could think to confront you about why I was mad... Because I could tell that seeing me with Hanbin, without knowing who he was, affected you. And even then, you didn’t say anything on your own.”

Gunwook listens in silence, his thumb brushing over Matthew’s skin. He can feel how long this has been sitting on his mind. Just as long as he’s been struggling with his own insecurities. And the fact that he's saying all of this now, while apologizing for something that had felt good—even when there’s still so much left unsaid—it breaks Gunwook’s heart.

“And... I know it’s hypocritical of me to complain when I didn’t say anything about how I felt the other day with the fans, either,” Matthew adds, leaning more of his weight into Gunwook’s. “So, yeah. I guess we need to start talking more about these things.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Gunwook says softly, pressing a little kiss to his cheek. “And I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier. I just... I really didn’t know how.”

Matthew gives a small nod. “We just need to get better at communicating what we feel.”

Gunwook makes an acknowledging sound and leans in, their lips meeting again. They kiss for a little while. Slowly, lazy. Just enjoying each other.

Not long after, he feels Matthew go slack between his arms. 

He looks down at him, unable to understand how someone can look so beautiful while sleeping. The snores will come soon, sooner or later, but even those are endearing. He always looks cute to him, no matter what.

Gunwook’s fingers drift gently through his soft hair.

Something’s shifted tonight.

For the first time, he considers that maybe they’ve both been standing at the same edge all along. Just unsure how to move forward.

But he’s ready now.

He thinks he’s been ready for a while.

He just needs to figure out how to proceed.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.••. ••.•┈••✦

Gunwook spends the following days focusing on a steady routine, which includes studying, training, and Matthew. Even if they still haven’t talked about the other night, something between them has changed. It’s subtle, but it’s there. And Gunwook can’t stop thinking about it. About him. About them .

He’s just waiting for the right moment. But with the final exams and the pressure of the upcoming game weighing on him, it’s hard to find space to breathe, let alone confess his newfound feelings. Still, they keep searching for each other—mostly during the casual (and now recurring, thanks to his own persistence) study sessions with Gyuvin and Ricky. It’s safer that way, easier to pretend he’s holding it together. Easier to keep things low-key.

Still, Gunwook picks a date. As the meticulous person he considers himself to be, he needs a deadline—something to push him forward. To make the wait bearable. And the first and easiest date that comes to his mind is the final game. The exams will be over by then and the pressure will have lifted.

Hopefully.

But he doesn’t want to ambush Matthew out of nowhere. So he starts testing the waters, almost playfully. Even if it makes him feel more nervous around him. He tells himself he’s good at hiding it and if Matthew isn’t feeling the same, there’s room for him to pull back before making a complete fool of himself.

The upcoming finals are a complete blessing because they give Gunwook the perfect excuse to suggest more group study sessions. It looks innocent enough, but it’s a chance to see how Matthew acts around him when there’s an audience. He keeps a careful distance—just enough to keep the façade of being almost strangers—but at the same time starts talking to him more often, watching closely for any signs of discomfort.

He doesn’t find any. Matthew doesn’t seem uncomfortable. If anything, he seems to lean into the closeness he’s offering. It’s true that it mostly happens in front of Gyuvin and Ricky, but it still means something. That’s one point for him.

This subtle shift between them, however, leads to other things. They still meet in each other’s dorms—though not as often as before, since they’re both genuinely busy. But they still try to spend at least a few afternoons together. Studying. Talking. Just hanging out.

One afternoon, after spending a night together, Matthew shows up to their group study session wearing Gunwook’s hoodie. Nothing unusual if you ask him. But Gyuvin notices. Gyuvin always notices everything these days.

“Wait, don’t you have that same hoodie, Geon?” he asks, skipping the greetings entirely and narrowing his eyes at them.

Matthew turns to Gunwook, clearly giving him the chance to handle it. If he’s nervous about being caught, it doesn’t show. Gunwook, for his part, doesn’t really care anymore. He’d tell them the truth right on the spot, but he really needs to talk to Matthew first. The deadline he set is just a week away anyways. Soon enough, everyone will know.

He just plays it cool.

“Yeah, I do,” he says, shrugging. “What a coincidence.”

Matthew laughs and drops into the seat beside him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And by now, it kind of is. Under the table, he brushes his leg against Gunwook’s, a quiet acknowledgement—and Gunwook has to fight back a grin.

“That’s fun,” Ricky says, fashion-expert eyes scanning the hoodie. “It also seems to be the exact same size.”

Neither of them responds. Matthew just starts pulling out his notebook and pens, and Gunwook starts scrolling aimlessly through his computer, pretending the room isn’t charged with unfinished issues.

But Gyuvin isn’t done. “And the letters! That’s fate, right there.”

Gunwook glances down at the maroon hoodie. Their two initials are stitched on the front, big and clear for anyone to notice. G and M. He won’t pretend he didn’t notice when he handed it to Matthew this morning, casually telling him not to bother going back to his dorm for changing clothes. It had been a risk—but one that he’s more than totally fine to take now that he’s finally moving forward.

“Damn,” Gunwook mutters, hiding his grin behind his hand.

Matthew flushes hard at the comment, ducking his head and seemingly acknowledging the letter for the first time. So damn adorable.

“That’s definitely a coincidence,” Gunwook adds, voice full of amusement.

And just like that—another point for him.

After another study session ends, Gyuvin and Ricky bicker for a while before drifting off earlier than expected, leaving the two of them behind. Gunwook uses the occasion to his advantage.

“I’ll walk you back.”

Matthew gives him a look—not annoyed, but surprised. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Gunwook fights back. “Let me.”

Matthew hesitates a little. Walking him home implies others might see them. But somehow, Gunwook doesn’t think that’s what he’s hesitating about. A few seconds later, Matthew nods, a serious—but cute as hell—pout on his lips. “Fine, but you don’t get to stay tonight. I really need to study.”

“Wasn’t planning to,” Gunwook teases, already gathering his things to leave the café. “Let’s go before it gets too dark.”

They leave the cozy place quietly. Outside, the sun is already setting, and the campus feels unusually still. They walk close. Hands not quite touching, but close enough for Gunwook to feel the warmth of it.

Fuck it.

Gunwook reaches out all of a sudden and takes Matthew’s hand in his.

He feels him stiffen for just a second, like he wasn’t expecting him to do that, but then his fingers wrap around Gunwook’s naturally. Steady and sure.

Gunwook just looks straight ahead, focusing on the beautiful colors that the sun is reflecting in the sky, trying not to think too much about what’s happening. Trying to quiet his heart.

“You’ve been doing things like this lately,” Matthew says, breaking the silence. “You’re getting bolder.”

Gunwook finally turns to him, catching that shy little smile. His favorite.

“I guess I am...” he admits, then softly swings their joined hands once, trying to downplay the whole thing.

Matthew lets out a breathy laugh. Something real. And Gunwook melts. After they walk a little bit more though, he asks, hands still together, “Does it... does it bother you?”

Matthew hums, like he doesn’t quite get the question, and looks up at him, bangs a soft mess across his forehead and cheeks flushed pink—maybe from the breeze, maybe from something else. Gunwook has to fight the sudden urge to brush his hair back behind his ears, just to see him better.

“Me getting bolder,” Gunwook clarifies. “Does it bother you?”

Matthew gives a small shake of his head.

“No.”

Just as simple as that.

The smile lingers on both of their lips the whole way back to Matthew’s dorm. And when Gunwook leaves him safely at his door and starts the walk back to his own place, he’s still grinning like an idiot.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.••. ••.•┈••✦

They win the game.

No.

They destroy it.

It had been tense at first. All of them were too nervous about the game and it showed in the two first quarters. As if that wasn’t enough, Dohoon had taken a bad fall and had to leave halfway through the second quarter, leaving the team without one of their most important players. It was after he returned to the bench, having been attended to, and started cheering with the other benched teammates and fans that the adrenaline finally kicked in. They find their rhythm, and by the fourth quarter, they’re wildly ahead.

By the time the game ends, the score is glowing with a ridiculous load, and the roar from the crowd is crazy.

It’s complete chaos.

All of his teammates crash into him, yelling, hugging. He can barely breathe under the weight of their bodies and the disbelief still makes his heart pound heavy on his chest.

Gunwook just screams into the noise, laughing as more and more of them pile into the group hug.

They did it.

They fucking did it.

And in the middle of all of this madness, one thought cuts through everything else: Matthew.

He squirms free from the crowd, eyes scanning the stands. But the spot where he had stood the whole game is now empty.

His stomach drops.

Where is he?

He keeps celebrating, his eyes working nonstop trying to find him around, just in case he has moved closer, or to another place. But he’s nowhere to be found.

Why isn’t he here?

After some more minutes wandering around, he excuses himself and rushes toward the locker room. Some teammates are already in the hallway, so he manages to smile as they shout congratulations to each other and clash hands.

But his vision narrows to the door ahead. He needs to get his phone.

He knows Matthew was there. He saw him before the game, standing at the edge of the stands—not his usual spot, since he came with Ricky and Gyuvin this time.

Still.

He knows he came. How could he not remember when he was wearing Gunwook’s freaking jersey. And not just any fan jersey—his actual spare equipment. The real thing. That little fox had stolen it without him realizing and worn it in front of thousands of people.

Gunwook had almost ran to him right then. The wave of possessiveness that ran over him was unlike anything he’d felt before and made him even more anxious of performing well. Just for him. For Matthew to be proud of wearing his name on his back.

He’s lost. Completely and utterly in love with him. And he needs him to know. Now.

His hands finally find his phone among the pile of spare clothes, hands still shaking from the victory and everything else swirling inside his exhausted body.

When he checks, something in him sinks.

No new messages. No missed calls.

He opens their chat and starts typing—then pauses. What is he even supposed to say? Should he call him instead?

A familiar loud voice snaps him back.

“There you are, man!”

Gunwook spins around. Standing there, surrounded by a few other teammates, are Gyuvin, Ricky, and—

“Matt.”

He says his name like a prayer. He doesn’t even spare a look at the others. He doesn’t care. Gunwook walks straight towards him, stopping just a few steps away. Matthew looks up, eyes big and proud.

“You won.”

Gunwook lets out a breathy laugh. “We did.”

“You were insane out there,” Matthew says, smiling, eyes shining. “Those last triples? Crazy.”

Gunwook doesn’t answer. His heart is pounding louder than it had on the field.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he breathes, pulling him closer by the waist and giving him a full five seconds to pull back. Matthew only blinks, eyes still wide open.

“I really mean it, Matthew. If you don’t stop me now…”

Matthew smirks.

“I’m waiting,” he says, holding his gaze like a champ.

So Gunwook dives in and kisses him.

Right there. In public. In front of absolutely every fucking person in the room. And he couldn’t care less.

His mouth moves with desperation, claiming what he should’ve claimed long ago. And Matthew opens up for him, moving closer, standing on his tiptoes. Still, Gunwook has to bend down to kiss him properly. He licks into his mouth deeply, making the older one gasp. Gunwook takes the opportunity to reach down and remove his glasses.

Then he kisses him again, nothing holding him back this time. Matthew tastes familiar, like home, but this time he doesn’t rush. He wants him to feel how much he had wanted to do this. How much he wants him. 

It takes a while before Matthew pulls back, his hands resting on Gunwook’s chest.

“Baby...” His voice comes out a little shaky, but his eyes stay firm. Gunwook just nods, waiting in place. “What does this—”

Gunwook cuts him with a kiss, softer this time, carefully cupping his face in both of his hands. After licking his bottom lip, he pulls back with a smile.

“I like you, Matthew. So much,” he says. He can feel the crowd is still watching. But really, at this point, who the fuck cares?

“I really really like you. I think I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t let myself think about it because I thought we weren’t on the same page. I’m sorry I’ve taken so much time in telling you. I just—I really hope you feel the same because I honestly don’t know what I’d do if—”

“Wookie.”

“—if you didn’t like me back, I mean I’d understand, but I—”

“Gunwook,” Matthew interrupts again, both hands on his face now. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

He just stares.

What did he just say?

“I like you too,” Matthew whispers, as Gunwook tries to remember how to breathe again. “I was scared too and didn’t know how you felt. But now that I know... do you wanna date me?”

Gunwook sniffles, fighting back silly tears, and nods. Matthew laughs at him being a big softie, clearly getting emotional, and probably noticing the two tears that shed from his eyes, and gives him a few pecks. Kissing Gunwook’s smile off his face.

“Well, you guys!” someone calls from behind.

Gunwook kisses Matthew a few more times before turning around. Half of the team is there, watching—including Gyuvin, arms crossed, but with a big-ass grin painted on his face.

“I came to congratulate you from the game, but I guess I need to extend my congratulations now.”

His smile is so big that Gunwook can’t help but run to him and pull him into a bear hug. He can’t wait to explain everything to his friends.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.••. ••.•┈••✦

Gunwook wishes he could just leave, but as the captain, he has to stay—stuff like receiving the trophy and medals, posing for team pictures, and celebrating with his still-stunned teammates are all a must.

He leaves Matthew with Gyuvin and Ricky (not before stealing a few more kisses out of him) and goes to fulfill his duties.

He’s so fucking happy. He can surely say he’s never been as happy as he is right now.

He brings Matthew along to the celebrations after. They keep things subtle, though. As much as Gunwook wants to be all over him, they both know they’ll be time for that later. For now, he needs to be present for his team.

After dinner and a few long hours at the after-party, the couple quietly says their goodbyes and slips away.

They start stealing the first kisses on the walk back home, laughing and talking about how stupid and scared they've been. About how easy it could’ve been if they’d just talked things way before. But in the end, smiling through it, they agree: at least they got here.

In the elevator, Gunwook pushes him back, pressing him against the mirrored wall and kisses him slow, like he’s memorizing this moment. When the doors open, Matthew pulls him back, breathless and flushed.

Everything feels different now. Even Matthew. He looks a little out of place. But in the best way. Not in complete control for once. It suits him.

Plus, they don’t have to hide it anymore.

Gunwook smiles at the thought, pulling him by the hand towards his door. As he fumbles with the keypad, Matthew leans his head against his chest and smirks.

“Will you manage to open the door today, jagiya?”

Gunwook stumbles even more after those words. “God, shut up and let me work.”

They barely make it inside before they’re kissing again. Their phones buzz with messages from everyone—friends, teammates, group chats exploding with questions—but none of it matters.

Not now.

Gunwook takes his time preparing him. Even if they were all over each other a few minutes ago, he slows down, just to take it all in. This is their first time as boyfriends, and he wants to taste every second of it.

Matthew whimpers and complains, but Gunwook ignores him. He showers him with wet kisses, pinching and nibbling at his nipples, leaving a trail of love bites across his collarbone. All of this as his fingers keep moving inside him with care, but relentlessly.

“Please, baby,” Matthew sobs eventually, eyes half-lidded with pleasure, mouth open, moaning low and helplessly under Gunwook’s touch.

It’s the first time he’s said please so desperately, and Gunwook can’t help but grin. He could get used to this.

“Yes?”

Matthew rolls his eyes, clearly catching on to his thoughts, but grips Gunwook’s biceps and yanks him down until they’re face to face.

“Either you fuck me now, or we’re done.”

Gunwook doesn’t like that.

He pulls his fingers out, wipes them off quickly on the sheets, and plants a firm hand on the back of Matthew’s neck, pulling him into a suffocating kiss. Matthew whimpers uselessly into his mouth, nails clawing at his arms. When they part, Gunwook cups his cheeks in between his thumb and forefinger, tipping his chin up until he’s pouting prettily.

“You don’t get to say that again. Understood?”

Matthew, usually the one giving orders, nods—visibly stunned. But Gunwook knows what he wants. And he won’t lie; he wants it too.

So he doesn’t waste another second.

He grabs the lube and pours a generous amount onto himself, then adds another squirt to Matthew’s ass. Matthew flinches as the cold liquid touches his skin, but falls quiet as the younger boy begins to push into him.

“Was about fucking time.”

They both groan when Gunwook bottoms out, their foreheads pressed together. They stay still for some seconds, kissing lazily as Matthew adjusts. When he finally whispers to him to move, Gunwook rolls his hips, dragging his cock slowly in and out. It feels like heaven.

He moves slowly at first, savoring every inch, every sound that he draws out of his beautiful boyfriend. But the thrusts get rougher and rougher as they get closer to the edge and Matthew closes his eyes when he feels Gunwook’s hand wrap around his needy cock, strocking him in the rhythm he’s using to fuck him.

“Look at me, please,” Gunwook asks, slowing down until Matthew looks at him. “I love you.”

A kiss. A thrust.

“You’re mine now.”

Another kiss. Another thrust.

Matthew moans as Gunwook opens his legs and pushes his knees back, adjusting the angle. He fucks into him fast now, tensing when he hears his name being repeated as a mantra on Matthew’ lips. They both come together minutes later.

Gunwook collapses beside him, then pulls Matthew into his arms, not caring one bit about the mess they’ve made. He just needs to hold him close for a while.

“You’re never getting rid of me now, you know,” Matthew whispers, almost to himself.

Gunwook smiles against his hair, breathing him in, and presses a soft kiss at the top of his head. Then, he finds his hand and wraps their pinkies together.

“Good.”

Matthew pulls the blanket over them, and nuzzles in closer.

“I love you, Gunwookie.”

“Love you more.”

And it’s perfect.

Finally.