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The day of Albert Rosenfield’s testosterone shot was a dreaded one. The injection itself was nothing, he’d worked with needles plenty in his line of work. Rather, it was the after effects: mood swings, hot flashes, and last but not least, increased libido. This was expected when starting hormone therapy, and half the reason many cisgender men couldn’t keep it in their damn pants. But damn if it didn’t make Albert feel like a cat in heat.
Today would mark his first shot day with Harry Truman—not the former United States President, just a handsome idiot with a pretty smile—and Dale Cooper living under the same roof as him. Harry was out this morning, tending to the garden at the front of their sickeningly modest little home, while Albert had showered and cooked breakfast for the two. Cooper had not left the bathroom for a solid two hours, the reason being his extensive morning routine, of course. Thank God for weekends and their work schedules being forgiving.
“Are you ready, Albert?” asked Dale as he emerged from the steamy lavatory in a tank top and shorts, wet hair combed and parted as opposed to slicked back for once. Albert, in a plain tee and briefs, stared for a moment too long, blinking himself back to reality when he realized what Dale was referring to.
“Ah,” he sighed, finishing drawing up a syringe, tapping it with his fingers to release any air bubbles contained within. “Yeah. Long as you are.” He held out a second needle, which he had already filled. A coy smirk formed on his lips, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?”
Cooper rolled his eyes, taking the needle and leaning in to capture Albert’s mouth in a chaste kiss. “Do I smell eggs, waffles, and bacon?”
“Only if you behave,” Albert teased, to which Dale nipped at his bottom lip, wringing a soft gasp from him.
“Rich coming from you, darling.”
Cheeks flushing, Albert gently pushed at Dale’s shoulder, even as that familiar heat pooled in his gut. “Just sit down.”
Wiping at the injection site on their exposed thighs with alcohol wipes, the pair proceeded to take turns in giving their injections. Cooper was first, pinching at Albert’s flesh and inserting the needle with practiced gentleness while Albert proceeded to do the same with Dale’s, hands precise and steady from years of work with cadavers and various sharp tools.
Two band-aids later, the two entered the kitchen and proceeded to eat their meal, Cooper engulfing the food like a man starved, while Albert watched with amusement and chewed absentmindedly on his eggs.
Harry entered the scene not long after they’d finished eating, and they froze where they stood, because Harry Truman was shirtless, skin glistening with sweat as he closed the door behind him. He used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. Albert felt faint.
“Hey,” he said, pressing a kiss to Albert’s cheek, the smell of his musk nearly driving Albert into insanity. “Sorry. Got caught up in the weeding.”
Harry gave Cooper a kiss. Albert was still reeling, heart ready to burst.
“Looks great, sweetheart.”
Albert’s lips parted. He shook his head from his daze. “Huh?”
“Breakfast,” Harry clarified. “Looks delicious. I’m surprised Coop didn’t swallow it all before I showed up.”
Cooper nudged Harry with a grin, and Albert nodded dumbly. “Of course,” Albert managed. “Gotta keep a leash on him.”
Harry snorted. “Yeah, sure.” He shot a wink Albert’s way, and if Albert thought he was sweating before, he swore he would pass out from heat stroke at any moment.
Of course, Harry and Cooper had to run a couple errands, leaving Albert alone for a couple hours. He thought a walk would ease his nerves, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. A brisk walk in a tick-infested forest did little to nothing. He truly felt like a teenager, as embarrassing as it was, the gentle breeze against his body only riling him up further.
Albert couldn’t get undressed quicker once he returned home, divesting himself of his clothes and grabbing the wand vibrator from the box under the bed. He plugged it in and laid back, moving a hand between his legs, shocked from how hard and wet he was. Fuck. Turning the toy on its second vibration setting, he spread his legs and pressed it to his cock. His head fell back on the pillows, pleasure coursing through him in sparks, everything so much more sensitive than usual.
It didn’t take much to tip him over. Eyes closed, Albert imagined a different scenario from earlier in great detail, wherein he pulled Harry’s pants down in the middle of the kitchen, taking his cock in his mouth. Cooper would run his hand through Albert’s hair, praising him, and when Harry was hard enough, he’d take Albert right there over the table, all while Cooper watched and stroked his own dick—
A sudden, strong orgasm washed over him, cock twitching as he tightened around nothing. It left him breathless, gasping for air, and only aware of the acute wetness between his legs when he finally came down from it all. He was going to die. Those two were going to kill him.
And then the front door opened.
Shooting up in bed, Albert quickly cleaned off the toy and set it back in the box. Before either Harry or Dale could enter the bedroom, he slipped his boxers back on and rushed to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water.
The knocking came as a shock, and before he could finish drying his face and check if he locked the door, Cooper entered. Albert hadn’t a chance to speak a word when Dale suddenly pushed him up against the sink counter, clothed body pressed to his half-naked form.
“Albert,” Dale purred in his ear, and Albert did not put up a fight, whimpering softly and pressing back against Dale’s groin. “You made a mess of the bed. Were you having fun without us?”
“Please,” Albert gasped, hot with shame, “you’re going to kill me. Both of you. Fuck, I couldn’t help it.”
“I’m sure.” Cooper’s hand snuck its way past Albert’s waistband, three fingers sliding effortlessly into his dripping cunt, causing him to gasp and moan like a seasoned whore. “Oh. You’re ready for us, aren’t you?”
An eager nod. Dale pulled his fingers out, and though Albert whined at the loss, he soon melted as the wet digits were eased into his mouth. He didn’t need to be told what to do: he sucked and licked them clean.
Hazy, Albert allowed himself to be led into the bedroom, where Harry had already dressed down to his boxers. Unsure of who made the first move, the two began to kiss desperately, hands scrambling at exposed skin. They tumbled to the mattress with Cooper following. The bed dipped, and then Harry was tugging Albert’s briefs down.
“Coop told me,” Harry mumbled, spreading Albert’s legs. “The way the both of you get after your shot. He couldn’t keep his hands off me when we were out. God, Albert, look at you—you’re so wet.”
Albert did not argue. He couldn’t. The moment Harry’s mouth found his clit he lost the ability to think or speak, back arching off the bed. Cooper was there, too, cupping Albert’s cheek like he was a precious jewel, kissing and biting along his throat.
It was too much, and Albert came the moment Harry began prodding his entrance with his tongue.
“Will you be able to take me?” Harry asked honestly once Albert regained his breath, having freed his own aching cock. It was hard for Albert to focus when Cooper was still sucking hickeys into his neck.
“Harry,” whimpered Albert, “God, yes.”
Dale pulled back, furrowing his brows. “You’re sure?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Albert said, lifting his spread legs. “Just fuck me. Please.” He swallowed, then grasped blindly at Dale with one of his hands. “And you. C’mere.”
“Mm?” Cooper smiled, all teeth. “What do you want? Use your words.”
Breath was stolen from Albert as Harry grasped his legs, yanking him close, one hand moving to tap the head of his ridiculously thick, hard cock to Albert’s cunt. “Fuck,” Albert groaned. “Dale. Dale, sit on my face. Please.”
A tender smile spread across Cooper’s face, and he pet Albert’s soft hair. “So sweet. If that’s what you want—hard to resist when you ask so nicely. Such a good boy.”
Albert whined.
“Harry,” Dale spoke, voice taking on that signature commanding tone he often utilized as an agent of the FBI. Easing off the bed, he worked on the buttons of his dress shirt, watching his partners with near black-swallowed eyes. “Don’t torture the poor man. He says he can take it. Trust me, he’s wet enough.”
“Oh, I know,” Truman agreed with a shudder, using his hand to align his cock with Albert’s dripping hole. “Lemme know if it’s too much, okay?” He just barely pressed the tip past his entrance, swallowing thickly at the sensation. Albert’s breath caught, hands fisting in the sheets, bracing himself. He tensed when one of Harry’s large hands grabbed his hip.
“Jesus Christ, Harry,” Albert groaned, “if you don’t fuck me already—”
That was enough motivation for Harry. Keeping a firm hold on Albert’s hips, he thrusted the entire length of his dick inside, perhaps just a tad too quick from the reaction it drew. Albert’s palm slapped over his mouth, back arching off the bed, the stretch not new, but certainly an adjustment. He’d taken Harry on numerous occasions, after all.
“Shit,” Harry gasped, slowly drawing back and pushing back in, the obscene wet sound making his cock pulse. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, “after all this time, you’re still so tight. Fuck, baby.”
Desperation to move outweighed rational thought, and Albert did not complain. Legs wrapping themselves around Harry’s waist, he threw his head back against the pillow and moaned, loud enough to be heard from here to Seattle surely. Each thrust inside his cunt brought a new wave of pleasure, Harry pressing inside so deeply, hitting spots Albert didn’t know existed.
“Fuck,” he cried, bucking back with every movement, “oh, fuck, Harry! Fuck, ah…”
As if that wasn’t enough, he felt another pair of eyes on him. Turning his head and gazing through half-lidded eyes, Albert watched a now fully nude Cooper climb on the bed, his cock red and hard, peeking out through the coarse pubic hair. A hand touched Albert’s cheek, and his mouth watered at the contact.
“I adore the sounds you’re making, love,” crooned Dale’s sweet, melodic voice, all while he rose and climbed over Albert, situating his knees on either side of his head and facing Harry. “But I think it’s time to put that mouth to good use.”
The fire roared in Albert’s core. His hands scrambled to grasp onto Dale’s thighs, guiding him down, mouth already open and ready to accept. The groan he emitted as Cooper settled down vibrated through his cunt, and he lapped and sucked eagerly, enraptured at the pure sounds of ecstasy he drew from his partner. It heightened his own pleasure, the thick cock driving into him, faster and deeper now, Harry’s moans and heavy breaths harmonizing with Dale’s whines and gasps.
Cooper began to rut against Albert’s face, his hands on Albert’s chest (or were they Harry’s?). “That’s it,” he chuckled, training off into a groan, his juices dripping down Albert’s chin. “Fuck, baby. You’re so good. Look at you. Such a slut for us. Take Harry’s cock so well, dripping wet, that’s a good boy, oh…”
Someone’s fingers found Albert’s cock, and that was his breaking point. Moaning wantonly against Cooper, he came with Harry’s cock inside him, all while his thrusts turned sloppy. He spasmed around the length, shuddering as the head dragged along that sweet spot inside him, the pleasure so intense it almost hurt.
“That’s it—ah!” Cooper shouted, particularly as Albert—in the wake of a third orgasm—tongued at his clit and thrust it inside of him. “Oh, fuck. I’m coming.”
“Fuck, you’re both so hot,” Harry whimpered, and the wet smacking sounds Albert heard no doubt were the pair’s lips meeting, kissing sloppily, and that image alone brought him close again as Cooper reached his own peak with a cry. Albert shook weakly, nails digging into Cooper’s flesh, drinking and licking between his folds, swallowing all he had to offer.
Thoroughly wrecked, Dale moved off, just as Harry reached his own climax, his eyes shut tightly, body stiffening. He yelped an incoherent sound, something between Dale and Albert’s name, and just as those first spurts of cum spilled inside him, Dale’s fingers stroked along Albert’s clit, and he was fucking done for. His fourth orgasm felt like an explosion, mouth open in a silent “O”, body tensing and releasing with the sharp release of the tight coil within him.
He came to with blurry vision seconds later, coherent enough to watch Harry through his lashes as he slid out his softening cock. With it, Albert felt Harry’s cum leak from him, and he didn’t care about the stain they’d have to wash out later. Thinking wasn’t a priority.
The two men, naked and glistening with sweat, laid on either side of Albert. “You’re beautiful,” Dale whispered in one ear, kissing along his face. Harry, meanwhile, nuzzled into the crook of Albert’s neck, wrapping an arm around his waist. Lightheaded, chest tight with emotion, Albert laid there, boneless, pliant as Harry took his chin in hand and brought their lips together.
“How wonderful our shot day is,” giggled an all-too happy Dale Cooper, his arms also winding their way around Albert. “How lucky we have you all to ourselves.”
Overwhelmed and swallowing tears, Albert broke his kiss with Harry and hummed. “Ha,” he mumbled. “Well, it’s the weekend… once I recuperate, you two won’t know what hit ya.”
“Oh, I know,” Dale sighed, trailing his fingers along Albert’s stomach. Harry met Cooper’s gaze with a knowing smirk, the both of them staring in awe at the man between them. “By the end of today, you’ll be fucked stupid, baby. And that’s a promise.”
Those words traveled right between Albert’s legs. He blushed, keening. He would definitely be sore come tomorrow. Maybe he wouldn’t even be able to walk.
And he would have it no other way.
