Chapter Text
At first she thought she was hallucinating. Ever since the Idol Awards, Rumi’s mentality was somewhat stable, though she still grieved the loss of Jinu. He was the one that understood her. The one that really knew what it felt like to be marked with these weighted patterns. Made her finally accept them, and the strong feelings that it carried. Even so, the impact he engraved in her was deep, deep enough to dream of him in the purest form of guilt and grief. Those were the nights that sleep never approached her and had her cancel a few interviews on her schedule, much to her dismay. The girls had honestly insisted on it, seeing the distraught that hung on her back like a vest
But whenever she felt like she was falling, she had two pairs of strong hands that caught her. It was a feeling she had not experienced in her whole lifetime, and it made her feel warmth that always settled on her chest and lately in her stomach, though she couldn’t place a name to the feeling. Anyways it took a few weeks prior of improper sleep before she had finally come to terms with the events that she had gone through. And it only took another sleepless night that she decided to try and settle down with meditation.
That night, Rumi had rolled down her blinds, and closed the curtains. She made sure to dim the lights that were scattered around her room, even lighting the candles that were gifted to her by Bobby. She hummed in satisfaction as she made her way to her bed, trying to see if she could settle herself in a comfortable position. Rumi closed her eyes, her vision all black and spotty, breathing in and out deeply as she let her body relax and mind go through body checks.
‘In..4..3..2..1..Out’ She counts from 4 as she breathes in, and out for 3 and would do this a couple of times. ‘Focus your breathing and imagine it flowing from the toes to the head’ She repeats again. As she visualises her breath flowing from the bottom to the top, she has a feel at how she physically feels at each limb. It wasn’t until she reached her heart that her vision that was supposed to be black faded to a warm white.
Facing her, standing there was- “Jinu..?” She whispered, afraid that it all might go away. The demon in front of her stood at an arms length, smiling somberly as he looked at her with fondness that she was familiar with when they were singing during that one night. Rumi stepped forward, one foot after another as she closed the distance between them with a tight hug. She didn’t even realise how tight she hugged him until he started to pat her back rapidly as he wheezed out pleases.
“Holy-! Urghh….Rumi..Please let me-..Ack! Too tight!” He coughs up as he tries to put a bit of space between. The braided woman realised the tightness of her grip and loosened it immediately, letting him catch his breath. Seeing the man in front of her act like he did a few weeks back made her giggle. Something about her laugh carried a frequency that she hadn’t made in a long long time. The sounds of her laughter made Jinu look up and in turn exchanged his own laughs as he finally relaxed.
As they both calmed down, he rubbed a hand against the back of his neck as he smiled sheepishly. “I think you’ve gotten much stronger since the last time I saw you.” Instead of standing still, he stepped towards her again, enveloping her into a proper hug. It felt like a long time before the two separated and a comforting smile settled between them. “Let’s walk?” He offered as he held his pale hand out.
Huh..it's not..purple?
Rumi took account of his complexion. His appearance as a whole. He wore the old traditional hanbok that were common during the Joseon Dynasty, and on his wrist he wore the string bracelet that she gave him. She could still see his patterns, however they were more translucent now that it was against his pale skin. He wasn’t even purple by the looks of it and his eyes still held a glint of amber that was more muted against the brown.
When she grasped his hand, she slightly tensed as she felt nothing but a slight warmth buzzed under his skin. She finally remembered that she didn’t know where she was or how she could even interact with the ex-Idol. As if he could read her mind, he decided to speak up.
“I don’t know where we are honestly.” He started. “I was with my family, singing to them, and before I knew it, I was basically whisked to..here.” Jinu gestured out to the white space with his free hand, the beads on the threads of his Gat shook as he moved. “Wherever here is.” He shrugged in the end. ‘Maybe some sort of mindscape..’ Jinu tried to deduce.
“I’m not sure why I’m here too, I was trying to meditate and just like you, I ended up here.” Rumi said, looking around, trying to see if she could make out a clue. “Did you feel anything before you appeared here?” She questioned him, to which he only responded in a tilt of contemplation.
“Hmm..I think I felt a pull, of some sorts, from my chest. Like something…” He paused. “..Or someone needed me.” Jinu frowned slightly as he looked down towards the woman beside him. He could feel the woman tense at the tone of his words as she felt his attention on her. Trying not to upset her, he waited for her to say something, only staying silent until she was ready to talk.
“I couldn’t sleep..” Rumi started. To be honest she doesn't know how she could form a sentence right now. Her mind was in a jumble and her mouth was dry. “For a couple of weeks now.” It was all she could afford to say. She didn’t know what to say. To him , especially. But before the silence could get any louder, he cut through it easily.
“It’s about me…or well, about everything that happened isn’t it?” He said, a teasing tone carried through at the beginning. Though he didn’t make fun. Rumi could only nod as she couldn’t really deny the obvious. Sensing that she wasn’t in the mood to talk, he let go of her hand that was in his hand and before she could say something about it, he pulled his bipa out of the air. To his amusement, her initial disappointment was replaced with surprise
“How did you…” The patterned girl asked in surprise. It was partly awe as well as she didn’t know that he could even manifest his instrument out of literal nothing. Before she could question further, the string on the bipa was struck, the note carrying through the space around them. And suddenly the tense atmosphere tilted and loosened to something that she could relax to.
She could feel her skin buzz in a steady rhythm, her patterns glowing slightly as she takes in the music that the man plays out. Before she realises it, she had suddenly started singing. Lyrics that she never thought of, suddenly flowed like a fleshed out song. It felt…right. Freeing. Rumi finally realised that the sleepless nights that she strolled through was not only caused by Jinu but by also the absence of freedom that she felt when they sang together.
It was like their way of communicating their true feelings to each other. Feelings that were carved so deep within their skin without prying open the layers of themselves forcefully. This is what she missed. She forgot the feeling. Before the Idol Awards. Before even debuting, she forgot the feeling of singing freely. Sure, she had managed to finally show her true self to Mira and Zoey but she had forgotten the passion she once possessed held.
In the past Rumi could sing and compose songs straight from her heart quickly. It was the reason why her voice was so important when it came to the honmoon. She wasn’t repressed and wasn’t as pressured as she felt recently. The growing anxiety of her patterns and expectations had snowballed until it all just exploded. That's why feeling freer wasn’t something that she could easily grasp.
Finally reaching the end of the song, Jinu plucked the last note, letting it ring out through the space. This time, a comfortable silence settled upon them. “That night was something that I still hold close to me” Rumi muttered before her back straightened as she continued to walk endlessly. “It hurt but we turned it to something that we couldn’t break.” She smiled tightly, memories of weapons pointing towards her with hesitation flashes. “And we got a single out of it right?” She chuckles, causing Jinu to smile fondly at her.
“What you did…giving your soul to me.” She continued. “It felt like I truly lost something I loved that night.” Rumi looked back over her shoulders, before looking back in front of her, trying not to see his expression. “I did end up…feeling something for you in the end if you hadn’t noticed” As much as she tries to play it off, she’s still nervous.
“I did.” He stated, giving her a reassuring smile.
“A-Anyways, even if it was romantic or maybe platonic. You became one of the people that I hold close to me, and you basically disappearing stung a lot .” Rumi nervously said, twiddling with hair that managed to drape over her shoulder.
She slowed to a stop, prompting Jinu to stop just behind her. The taller of the latter flinched in surprise as Rumi turned around quickly towards him. “But! Now that you’re here..I’m not really sure what to feel..” She yelled out but quietly went down to a whisper.
Rumi felt conflicted. Her feelings about Jinu weren't out of the blue. It was something that cultivated from the night that he asked to see her after the fight in the bathhouse. It all built up even during the duet but the more she thought about their moments together, was the only reason she had developed feelings for him were because he was the first to fully see who she truly was? If that was the case, why did she also feel those feelings when she had sung that final song with Mira and Zoey? Or when she shared lingering hugs with each girl as they left for whatever agenda that was on their schedule.
Before she could think any further, Jinu had disrupted her from her thoughts.
“It’s okay. To be honest…” He hesitated, like how he did back then when they were parting ways the night before the Idol Awards. “Look. What we had was something that we could never throw away. But..even if we could still talk in this..mindspace. I-..” Jinu looked like he was fighting with himself, trying to put together feelings into words that couldn’t even be explained. Rumi understood what he was trying to say and it’s saddening but, it’s true.
She stepped closer to him, grasping his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. Jinu looked up, surprised that the look that she gave him wasn’t of rejection or disappointment, but of acceptance. Maybe even bitter acceptance. The braided woman understood him like she did before and had come to terms with what he was implying. As she gave him a solemn but fond smile, it was as if a weight that he had been carrying had lifted. The same thing seemed to happen to with Rumi.
After moments of silence, the white space had started to pulse slowly, from light gray to white, and the pair knew what it meant. Without words exchanged they embraced each other one last time, it unnerved Rumi that she could see herself slowly crumble and fade into the air. Before she could fully disappear, Jinu had leaned down, placing a soft kiss at the forehead. He leaned back up with a watery film that clouded over his eyes, exchanging his final words with a genuine smile.
“Listen to your heart Rumi..’til we meet again.” Was all she heard before her vision cleared as she opened her eyes, greeted with the first rays of sun that peeked through skyscrapers.
She blinked once, then twice. Then huffed out a muffled sob as she fell back onto the soft bedding. This time however the weight that these tears carried weren’t burdening nor were they grievances. It felt like the tangled cord of tension that she had bottled up for weeks was finally being cut open and it was freeing . Like the duet with Jinu, and like the performance with Mira and Zoey.
It was that night that she finally had a good night’s sleep the following nights. She had also discovered that with Jinu’s soul given to her, she could call upon the man whenever she needed to, and she had to do is meditate. So whenever she felt a bit conflicted with anything, Rumi would just calm herself and enter the mindspace where he would be there strumming his bipa.
“How is your family doing by the way?” She would ask on some occasions as she tries to braid the loose hair into miniature braids.
“They’re doing good, I missed the way my sister would drag me in with her when she plays.” Jinu chuckles. It was a sound that became a common occurrence, and neither of them minded it.
Sometimes it could just be her ranting to him about a variety of things. It ranges from music blocks, to annoying interviews that became too uncomfortable for any of the girls. It didn’t have to even be a rant about anything that frustrated her. Sometimes she would talk about the little things, like when she told him of her worries about the time she caught at how late Zoey was overworking herself. Or whenever she worried about Mira and her frustrated fits after the occasional phone call that the taller girl would get from her family.
This time though, she had a different worry.
“I mean I have been showing more skin but I feel like they have a problem with it y’know?” Rumi paced around, her arms crossed as if she was trying to hide her patterns like before.
“Why would they have a problem with your patterns? I thought they already accepted that?” Jinu was floating this time as he was fiddling his bipa out of boredom. He knows that the girls wouldn’t actually think badly of her patterns now. He was actually sure that they would’ve been fine with them if Rumi would’ve just told her members about it when he told her around the time where he walked among the living.
“Well..yeah I guess, but ever since I wore this crop top during practice today. Their stares felt different this time.” The idol finally stilled, this time with tense as she looked at Jinu. It was clear that she was feeling anxious about this new predicament. The anxious pulling and fiddle of said top was a clear indication. They had no problem with her in crop tops or skirts before, so why did it seem like it bugs them now with the patterns.
The ex-demon only hummed to which irritated her. “Did you even ask them what’s up?” He said non-chalantly. Jinu let out an amused chuckle as he saw her pout and gave him an annoyed glare.
“Duh. I asked them what was wrong and they like clammed up and just said that it was nothing. I’m not even kidding, I swore I saw Zoey slip on air.” She sighed in a huff. “Maybe I should cover up or something..” The braided woman finally mumbled out in defeat, and before she could say anything else, she felt a grasp on her shoulder.
“Hey, let’s not do that, yeah? I’m sure they were just tired from the new schedule.” Jinu tried to reassure her, the baby blue tint of light that illuminated from her patterns bounced off the colour of his skin.
That was actually a recent development too. Ever since she started to explore her demon side, she discovered that her patterns have the passive effect of changing colours, and it all depends on her emotions. So far they found out that:
- When it’s translucent, it’s just a neutral state
- If it’s this pale yellow, it means she’s somewhere along the lines of happiness.
- If it’s golden, she’s excited.
- Light blue means that she’s sad about something.
- It’s red if she was mad about something, or irritated about things
- And it’s purple if she’s in her demon form.
Her demon form is another thing. She could finally access them willingly and whenever she does, parts of her skin turns purple. Her fingers get sharper, and her left eye turns into this amber gradient that seemed to pull the looker in if they tried to look at it.
Rumi could only mumble in force acceptance. “I guess so..even if Celine’s been more lenient with us, the additional training to hone these new abilities just added more to our plate.” She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling herself start to show signs of consciousness. “Thanks again for listening Jinu. I always appreciate it” She stepped forward to hug him.
“No problem, I’m always here. Soul bound and all.” He slyly added, before his smug smile turned soft. “Don’t ever try to hide again okay?” Was all he could say before her consciousness faded awake.
The idol looked at the clock nearby and it was around 6:30pm, which should be around the time the girls come back from the studio. Rumi decided to get up and put on a loose long sleeve with the bottom half cropped. She had wanted to believe Jinu but her anxiety couldn’t let her. So she settled with sweatpants that were loose enough for mobility, and put on a cropped hoodie that ended just above her belly button.
Rumi was sure that the girls were tired so she made dinner for them all. She checked the fridge and the pantry for the ingredients she needed and made a start with the Kimchi-jjigae. As she finished prepping the ingredients, she heard the elevator ding, signalling the entrance of the girls. She looked behind her discreetly as they sat down on the couch and noted down the atmosphere. Neither Zoey or Mira were talking which made sense. A day of talk shows, solo fanmeets, a brief training session, and spending some time in the studio can tire out even the most experienced performer.
So she let the girls have their silence, placing down glasses of water next to them, and giving them both a head pat before she made her way towards the kitchen. Thankfully, the kimchi that was sautee-ing hadn't burnt and added the marinated meat next. She made sure that sauce didn’t overflow as she filled the hefty pot up. The vocalist felt herself warm up as the temperature of the kitchen rose. Removing the hoodie off her had caused her shirt to ride up further than she thought it would’ve been.
As she fought her hoodie, she swore she felt stares bore into her. Like a predator watching its prey. Finally she got the damn thing off, and the intensity just vanished as if it never was there in the first place. She looked towards where it seemed to seep out from and it was in the general direction of the two heads that were peering over the couch. Maybe she really was just crazy or something and shrugged it off, rolling up her sleeves as she grabbed a ladle and tasted the soup that was bubbling.
Once she was satisfied with the taste, she set the table, placing utensils down as well as the pot and side dishes. After that, she made her way towards the couch, settling behind it as she leaned down, placing hands on each girl’s shoulder as she ushered them to the table. Rumi watched as they sat down, swearing that Zoey had flinched at her touch earlier, but she decided to put that off for now. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, light conversations started.
Topics vary from lyric options, to unsavoury show hosts, to different training regiments, and everything in between. This warm atmosphere had become the norm with them as their bond grew stronger. It felt..domestic. But that was another thought reserved for another day. For now, Rumi was satisfied with their new found dynamic.
Over the next few days, Rumi was sure the stares that came from them were on her patterns. No matter how little skin she showed, she swore she could feel the stares on her. She even caught Mira wacking Zoey out of the corner of her eye, jolting the girl back out of..whatever was happening and back to what she was doing initially. At first she tried to cover up more , but that was met with disapproval from the pair, and whatever jacket she decided to wear that day was stripped off her and the singer had to choose something else that would show more skin. Though that still didn’t stop the staring.
It confused her. They didn’t mind her showing her skin and her patterns, but they seemed to always drill holes into her with whatever chance they got. She even told this to Jinu who in return laughed like he had gone senile.
“ BWAHA! I-I can’t breathe- They are being too obvi-.. HAHAHAH!” His giggles would interrupt his sentences, rendering useless at trying to receive opinion, much to her growing irritation. All she got from that exchange was a final word from Jinu about wearing more exposing clothing. Something about getting better results or something. Whatever the dumbass meant.
So she did. The days following, she continued to wear more shorter things. Tank tops, sleeveless turtle necks, shorts, whatever short piece of clothing she could find, she would wear them. Now, Rumi had worn short shirts before and they were fine with it. But with the patterns showing (and glowing), it seemed to always catch both girl's attention.
Rumi had a suspicion as to why Zoey or Mira would turn (adorably) dumb whenever she would stretch and show a lot more skin, but she wasn’t fully sure. Jinu wasn’t much help the last time she talked to him about it and she doubted he would be helpful this time. So she upped the exposure of her skin more.
It went from crop tops to comfortable sport bras and tight leggings during training or short shorts and oversized sweaters of either members, and this time. The results were much...fruitful.